Epic Rap Battles Of History - Tumblr Posts
Epic Rap Battles of History
Bishop Headmud vs. Ivar the Boneless vs. King Harald Finehair
Why does it look like a rap battle?
Somebody needs to come through with this because that would be amazing
A very stupid/brilliant idea I just had
An episode of Epic Rap Battles of History
Where it's David (TLB) vs. Peter Pan
And in the second half of the battle, it's David's Lost Boys vs. Peter's Lost Boys
I doubt we'll ever get that video but it's a fun concept
miscellaneous jason todd headcanon for today: i think he likes epic rap battles of history
Yesssssss!
Doc Brown vs. The Doctor - x
WHO WON???
WHO'S NEXT?
YOOOOOOOUUUUUU DECIIIIIIIIIIDDDEEEEEE!!!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY SANS VS THE ONCELER BEGIN!
Onceler:
When I’m biggering, I’m triggering my enemies to panic
And I’ve got a niggling suspicion that my rhymes’ll make yours vanish by comparison
When I assemble my machines like a garrison
And I industrialize your whole underground
Tell Asgore move over ‘cause a new king’ll be crowned
You’ll choke on smogulous smog and in shloppity shlop you’ll drown
The dust will mix with smoke and your bones will never be found
‘Cause I’m the original, the prototype, tumblr’s first crush
And no little bag of bones’ll make me lose my touch
Sans:
You know I gotta axe where you’re coming from when you step to me with rhymes that whack
I’ll judge you for your sins, and I’ll give you flack, then go back to the grease cart to relax
I’ve seen timelines stop and start, we’re in the sea of time and space
And if the game’s cards then I’m an ace
What I’m saying is you’re swimming with a shark, chum
Don’t like my puns, tough luck, got a skele-ton more where that came from.
I’ll know what happened, and even if you atone,
You’re gonna get dunked on, or in a word: Boned
Onceler:
I’m an OG cautionary tale about greed, filled with lessons more applicable than even a thneed.
You thought you could win against the Truffula kingpin
Need more crawling on my back ‘cause I’ve accepted my sins
You’re just a trash bag with a rigor mortis grin
Gonna throw you out, no recycling bin
Some judge you are, in most runs you let no mercy go how far?
Even with a dead brother you usually just give some cross words.
Guess you got a bit invested in Junior Jumble v. Crosswords
Oh? Did that hit too close to home? Didn’t save Papyrus, guess you really are a lazy bones.
Sans: Hey, don't talk about my brother. I did the best I could
Keeping a promise, something you never would
Say you changed your ways, but it’s a bit suspicious
how you only went environmentalist after you’d collected all your riches
And you only realized when they cut down the very last tree
Thinking now how blind can I possibly be
I’ve got AUs to excuse it, don’t know why they turned you to self-cest, but looking at that fit
Maybe it’s the way you’re dressed
Why’d you do it, all the smog and the greed?
Did you really want to sell thneeds, embrace the market?
Or was it your family that pushed you down that darkest path
Once I’ve befriended your mom, I’ll make sure to ask.
Idk about you but my hidden talent is that I know the entirety of Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe
This post aged finer than the Chianti I would pair with your liver
“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
VERSUS…
BEGIN!!!
WHO WON?! WHO’S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!!!
(title cards by my sibling @inkwellfel)
I'm curious let's go