Gary Goldstein - Tumblr Posts

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

Gary Goldstein is my whole life

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

Get ready for AUDITS

I'm going on holiday so here's a week's worth of pictures of Jon Matteson (7/7)

ArE yOu AwArE tHaT mY cLiEnT - LiNdA mOnRoE (I can't be bothered typing out the rest of the quote like that, pretend I finished it please thank youuu)

Here are your daily pictureS of Jon Matteson!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JON!!!

🎉🎉🎉

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

I've never loved a lawyer so much in my life

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

Jesus fucking Christ he looks feral

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

Gary Goldstein they could never make me hate you

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

Tysm @sleepycloudi for tagging me in this picture it's GOLD 😭😭

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

No but like genuinely why is bro so angelic here

LMAOO I just saw someone reblog a picture of Gary Goldstein and say "he's the Carol to my Ken Davison" IM FUCKING DYING 😭😭

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

It's giving John Lennon

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

You're Gary freaking Goldstein!!

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

I love all the footage of Jon doing the Wiggly voice backstage sm lmao he looks insane

one quick kiss, he’s in a hurry

attorney in a hurry is so bonkers

[posts for the first time since 2021 and hopes u dont notice]

goldswift truthing on main

I want to draw the "divorce selfie" meme with attorney in a hurry (Barry swift and Gary Goldstein) but the problem is that Garry would be the one taking the selfie and the lawyer behind the desk.

SO SORRY IF THIS IS AWKWARD but i wanted to send in a writing thing 😭

prompt: what if Paul and Emma swapped places with Tom in Black Friday? Like Emma is part of the doll ‘feast or famine’ crowd for. Yk, the family reasons and Paul (unaffected) essentially is just running around/running into the foster sisters and whatever the hell was happening in the mall. Dude is having a terrible time as always

(If i phrased that weirdly can i just ask for paulkins interacting with the foster sisters in a casual setting please 🙏 ty!)

yeah!!!!! love this idea sm, hope you like it :)

“You want us to do what?” Emma slammed her coffee on the table.

“Pick up a Wiggly for Tim.” Emma scoffed at Tom. Paul stood awkwardly in the corner. He didn’t want to get involved, Emma was better at arguments.

“Why would we-”

“I want to spend the holidays with my son, not waiting in line.” Tom said. Emma rolled her eyes.

“I thought we were spending the holidays together, Tom. As a family.” Tom clenched his fists.

“My son lost his family when that car crashed. I’ve never asked anything of you ever before. Do this one thing for Me. For Tim. For Jane.” Emma looked away. After a few seconds, she walked over to Paul.

“Lets go get a fucking Wiggly, I guess.” They picked up their bags.

“Emma? Where are you going?” Tim asked, poking his head into the kitchen.

“We have to go to the hardware store to pick up a new bandsaw for your dad. Merry Christmas, Tim.” Emma slammed the door shut.

-

“There's nowhere to park…” Emma said, driving slowly.

“There?” Paul asked, pointing at a large spot.

“That's where the delivery trucks dump their stuff off.”

“It’s probably fine. Let's just hurry.” They parked the car and hopped out, and began walking into the mall.

“You can’t park there.” A voice said. It was a teenager, wearing the Toy Zone uniform and smoking a cigarette. She couldn’t have been older than 19. Paul blinked a few times.

“Lex? Lex Foster?” He asked. She nodded.

“I used to babysit her and her sister,” Paul said to a confused Emma.

“Have you babysitted everybody in this town?” she mumbled under her breath.

“Do you know how many Wiggly’s they have left?” Paul asked. Lex sighed.

“The store isn’t even open yet. Not that it matters. People have been waiting outside for days. You'll be lucky if you even get in the store by noon.” Paul groaned.

“C’mon, let's at least see if we can… buy our way into line? Or something? I don't know. Let's just hurry up.” Emma walked off, dragging Paul behind her. He waved awkwardly at Lex.

“You can’t park here!” Lex called after them. They didn’t hear her. “Oh well.”

-

“Hello? Sorry, can we cut in here for… uh… twenty bucks?” Emma said, pulling some cash from her pocket. The girl in line scowled at her. She was wearing a nursing uniform. Emma vaguely remembered her from highschool.

“Hey, some people have been waiting in line for a very long time, that’s not very fair,” a blonde lady shouted from further ahead. The nurse ignored the other customer.

“No, you can’t cut. That's bribery, and it... should be illegal.” Emma opened her mouth to retaliate, but Paul stopped her.

“Emma! Emma! Over here.” She turned. Paul was pointing to- Gary Goldstien? The attorney?

“This is Gary. He’s uh- my brother. Gary, this is Emma. My…” He shrugged. Emma glared at the nurse one last time and walked to where Paul was standing.

“Hi Gary, nice to meet you. Can we cut you for twenty bucks?”

“Sure. I’ll do it for free. I’ve a lot of favors due to Paul here for taking care of my son when I'm away,” Gary said in his nasally voice. Emma smiled at him.

“Hopefully this will go by quick so we can all go home.” She muttered to Paul as they squeezed their way into line.

-

Emma tried to be quiet as the rabid customers ran by her hiding spot, the popcorn counter in the movie theater. She looked out and saw Paul skittering towards her.

“What the fuck was that?” He whispered, crouching down into the shadows with her. His face was ridden with sweat and panic.

“I-I don’t know. Everyone’s going crazy. Is Gary- where’s Gary?”

“He… I think… I think he killed a guy. I don’t know what’s happening to him- what's happening to anybody. We know these people. They’re not murderers.” Emma nodded.

“We just need too-”

Something clattered to the floor. Emma shrieked, and Paul jumped up, looking around their area. He locked eyes with a young girl, who had knocked a can off of the counter on accident.

“Hannah?” He asked her. She backed up against the wall.

“Bad blood… bad blood…” she repeated it over and over again. Paul looked at Emma, who had calmed down.

“It’s Lex’s sister.” He turned back to the frightened girl.

“Hannah? It’s me, Paul. I used to babysit you. Do you remember?” He walked a little closer to her, and she whimpered, clutching her backpack.

“Hannah… what’s in the backpack?”

“Bad. Bad. Webby says it’s bad. He’s bad. He’ll trick you! He- he…” She started crying. Emma came up to the girl and sat down next to her.

“It’s ok. It’s ok.” She let Hannah lean on her. Emma looked in the backpack quickly.

“Oh. It’s a Wiggly.” A look came over Emma’s face. A look Paul had never seen before. A look Paul didn’t like.

“Emma?” She didn’t look at him. She slowly took the bag from Hannah. The girl looked up at her with a distressed expression.

“No! No! Bad!” Emma stood up.

“Lets go Paul.”

“No! He’s bad! Black and White! Bad blood! NO!” She grabbed at the bag, and Emma kicked her legs.

“Emma!” Paul rushed to stand in front of Hannah. “Emma, this isn’t you.” Her eyes darted around.

“Tim wants this doll. He needs it. He needs it.” Paul shook his head.

“Leave the doll! We need to get out of here, get safe.” She locked eyes with him, and her gaze softened. She dropped the bag. Paul took Hannah’s hand.

“We need to find somewhere safe. Let’s go.”

-

“Emma?” Tom jumped out of the car and rushed to her. Emma ran to embrace him, and Paul shook his hand awkwardly afterwards.

“Tom, god, I'm so glad you’re here.” The mall was aflame behind them, and the few stragglers that made it out were charred and distressed. Hannah and Lex had found each other in the mall, and Paul could only hope they got out.

“I’m so sorry, Emma. I- I don’t know why I sent you to get that doll. Tim doesn’t even want it. I’m gonna get him a Nintendo or something.” They all laughed, but soon a silence followed.

“I almost lost Paul in there."

"And my... my brother..." Paul looked back at the mall. He still hadn't fully processed what had happened to Gary. Maybe he got out? Paul doubted it. He'd never see his brother again. He'd have to tell Richie. He'd have to tell his friends and family that Gary had burned in the mall after beating a teenage boy to death. He looked away from the people, and squeezed Emma's hand tighter. She continued talking to Tom.

"All this stuff, people dying... friends, family... it made me start to think…Tom, it’s time we sit down, as a family, and talk about Jane.” He looked reluctant, but nodded.

“I’m just glad you’re ok. Both of you. And I'm sure Tim will love spending the rest of Christmas with his Aunt. And Paul.” Paul gave him a thumbs up, wiping his eyes. If he could make it through today... he could make it to tomorrow. that is, if tomorrow even came.

A plane whooshed overhead.