Hes Such A Loser - Tumblr Posts

LOSER!!!

Everyone let’s thank @theelmoarchive for showing me this series

How mutton ACTUALLY died

funniest crime would be breaking into a car on a hot day so you can die in it

just want you, baby┆gojo satoru

୧ genre: fluff

୧ wc: 1.4k

୧ synopsis: megumi is sick with a common cold, and gojo is simply lovesick for you.

Gojo Satoru convinces himself that he's not jealous.

How could he feel such a prickling and burning sensation in his lower tummy, slowly rising towards his heart making his blood boil and face grow hot just because you're nursing eleven-year-old Megumi back to health? The same little rascal that he had previously gotten into a spat with over something stupid and it doesn't help that the brat's sticking his tongue out and pulling down his lower eyelid taunting him.

But of course, you're too busy doting over sweet and innocent Megumi to notice. Too preoccupied with fluffing the pillows for the young boy to rest his poor head on, gently tucking him in with a cozy throw blanket, putting something on the platinum screen with the promise of brewing him a ginger-honey tea to make him feel better.

No matter how much Gojo tries to ignore Megumi, his facial muscles twitch and contort on their own in utter dismay and his Six Eyes zeroes in on the couch-ridden boy with his lips curling into a deep frown before sticking his tongue back at him.

"Come on, Satoru. Be nice to him, he's really sick." You say as you start the kettle and reach for a mug from the cabinet. Gojo's forced to acknowledge that Megumi wasn't faking the snotty nose and loud sneezes, but he still doesn't like the idea of losing to one smug child and giving him the satisfaction that he's secured his revenge which is your devoted attention. Maybe Megumi knew that his guardian would go a wee-bit insane being treated as a second thought but Gojo will never admit that it's working.

"Hey honey, you know what? I don't feel so good either. Here, feel my forehead." Gojo takes your hand and places it over his forehead to check if it's warm to the touch and he makes sure to do his best impression of looking pathetically sick—droopy eyelids, jutting his lower lip into a pout, and slumped shoulders to get your sympathy.

"Satoru, you feel perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with you."

"I swear I'm not feeling well. My throat feels weird and scratchy, my body feels flashes of hot and cold, my head is pounding and it's killing me, and.." Gojo tries to convince you that he's experiencing every symptom he could think of and you knew he was determined to be sick. Between your "uh-huh" and "right" you decide to humor him as you follow his explanation and tried your hardest to hold back a smile when he throws in an exaggerated detail or two.

"Alright, you big baby. We can't have you feeling sick now, can we? Can't have the strongest sorcerer out of commission for long, hm?"

"Nope, that'd be very bad. As long as you drop everything and pour all your attention on me, I should get better in no time. No pressure or anything, but the world does kinda depend on it~" Gojo flashes you a toothy grin then quickly remembers that he's supposed to be sick and feigns a cough or two averting your knowing glance.

"Hmm, okay I'll see what I can do. Now come here, let's get you all nice and comfortable so you can get your much-needed rest and get well again." You lead him to your shared bedroom and reflect the covers back for him to climb onto the mattress and ensure he's warm and cozy as you pull the comforter over him. For someone who's supposed to feel horribly ill Gojo sure can't seem to wipe the smile off his face. "You seem a little too happy to be sick, don't you think?"

"Just glad that you'll be the one to help me get back my strength is all." Through his fluttering lashes, he sports the most innocent and angelic expression he can muster and you can't help the soft giggle given his stellar performance up until this point.

"Alright, if you say so. I'll get you something to eat, okay? I'll be right back."

As you're turning on your heel to head for the door, Gojo pouts and protests. "Wha- No sweet kiss to hold me over? You might be a while and I'll get lonely since you're not here to keep me company."

"Aw, sorry baby. But you know there's no kissing until you're all better. Can't get myself sick now that I have to look after you and Megumi, right? I promise you I won't be long."

"...Not even a forehead kiss? :(" He murmurs under his breath as he watches your back to him and eventually disappears into another room. Once Gojo's left to his own devices, he wonders how long it would take you to complete your task on hand. He fiddles with his thumbs and counts the passing minutes. One minute becomes five, five becomes ten, then ten becomes twenty and he suddenly cannot bear to be apart from you much longer and checks on you.

"Sweetheart, what's taking you so long? I thoug-" And there he stumbles across the answer to his own question. Megumi is being spoon-fed rice porridge by you because he claims that his arms are too weak to do it himself and you couldn't leave him starved in his condition. Gojo appears crestfallen and disgruntled in the throw blanket draped over his lanky body and with a small huff he grumbles, "So that's what you've been up to. Fine, fine I guess it's up to me to take care of myself, huh?"

"What's wrong with him? Is he sick too or something?" Megumi asks nonchalantly as he watches his mentor's dejected form return to his bedroom to sulk. You gently shake your head and offer the young boy a soft smile, but you do feel a little bad that your husband has been acting unusual lately hence his needy and clingy tendencies.

"He's just going through a phase, but don't you worry about him and focus on getting better, okay? I'll find a way to make it up to him."

When you enter your shared bedroom with a platter of breakfast in your grasp, you found Gojo hiding under the covers in an attempt of giving you his silent treatment. You place the serving tray of food on the nightstand and situate yourself on the bed beside him, smoothing your hand over his covered shoulder as he's laid on his side with his face away from you. "Satoru, my love, I've brought you breakfast."

With a soft shrug of his shoulder, he responds with a strained hum but you know it's just him being melodramatic because he could never truly be mad at you. "Do you wanna tell me what's on your mind? I'm all yours if you come on out from under the covers."

Gojo shifts his body weight around and tufts of white hair start to peek as he gradually pulls the blanket down until you meet his azure gaze and he receives your sweet smile. "Hey there, is everything alright? Did I do something to upset you?" The tender warmth of your hand finds its home on his cheek with a gentle caress and he sighs contently at the familiar touch. You're patient as you wait for him to gather his thoughts, your fingers moving to his soft tendrils in soothing motions and he inches closer to you.

"You've never done a single thing wrong ever. You are perfect," he begins slowly. "I just missed you and ever since I got back from my mission you were too busy with the kids (Megumi and Tsumiki) that we haven't had any time together and I just wanna be with you." Gojo confesses as he's playing with the hem of your shirt, feeling a bit vulnerable to look you straight in the eyes. "Oh, and another thing... I'm not actually sick I only said that so you'd notice me more."

"Thanks for being honest with me. And I knew that you weren't sick. For someone who's supposed to be good at anything he tries, I'm glad that you turned out to be a pretty bad liar."

Gojo's face heats up at that and he unceremoniously buries his face in your lap from embarrassment, as muffled words of "Oh, so you knew. I thought I was pretty convincing" managed to reach your ears.

"Tell you what, how about we have ourselves a nice picnic this weekend? Just the two of us, I'll find someone to watch the kids. And I think maybe spending an afternoon in the sunshine will do us some good. What do you think?"

Gojo suddenly lights up at your proposal. "I think you're wonderful for planning the perfect date."

"You're sweet for giving me so much credit." Your soft laughter quickly melts his heart and he returns your affections, feeling a little more in love with you as you're both sharing a moment together. "I love you."

"I love you so much more, my sweet angel."

HE'S NOT SPECIAL

suna x gn!reader | won’t lie. was Fully thinking of miguel o’hara while writing this. i left it vague so u can project anybody though. LOL

suna’s been glaring at you wrapped in a blanket on your phone for the past 10 minutes.

a blanket in one of your favourite colours that you love that he—your boyfriend, he comments to himself—bought for your birthday.

a blanket you’re now kicking up every 15 or so seconds as you loop edits of something, someone, that’s caught your attention more than him in his time of need.

“babe.”

“hm?”

you don’t turn to him when you respond, you don’t pause the video or even lower the volume. rintarou huffs before climbing under the blanket with you.

his arms wrap around your stomach, and he rests his forehead against the back of your head. for a second he could almost forget you weren’t paying attention to him, until he hears you make a noise—a squeak? squeal? giggle? at a new edit you’ve found.

this time, instead of ignoring it, rin lifts his head to watch with you.

“this is who you’ve been posting recently, right?”

he knows he’s right. he pays attention to everything you talk about.

“yeah, isn’t he so handsome? oh my god when he says—” the character’s voice line cuts you off, and you let out another noise before slightly rolling forward and kicking the blanket again.

your boyfriend debates whether he should be offended or find your reaction endearing. (in an offensive way.)

“i could do that.”

“do what?”

“say the thing he said.”

you don’t respond for a few seconds before breathing out a confused laugh. “...okay?”

“he’s not special.”

this time you really laugh. “okay?”

“why don’t you kick your feet when you watch me?”

“what—hey, you don’t know that i don’t,” you protest, finally turning to look at him. “are you pouting?”

“no.”

he is. he has been the entire time, he notes, as he forces himself to stop. you put your phone down and jokingly coo, reaching to squeeze his cheeks. “aw, you’re jealous—”

“no i’m not. that’d be dumb.”

“my rin’s jealous,” you sing-song, and rintarou almost hates how his heart jumps at the way you call him yours. he glares at you while you squish his face together and you laugh again. “okay, okay, i’m sorry. i’ll stop watching edits now.”

still smiling at him, you let go of his face and hug him back. then you lean forward to press a kiss to his lips and rin relaxes into it, fingers ever so slightly pressing into the small of your back after successfully getting your attention back.

you pull away to murmur a few inches away from his lips. “just for the record, i’d still pick you over him.”

rin huffs warm air against your skin before nuzzling into the crook of your neck, content. “good.”

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i cant tell if this is true or he just knew all of it

i just know oscar piastri stayed up for three nights in a row, wikipedia articles up on three different screens & flash cards out to get this trophy

Songs that remind me of OM! Characters pt.1

Lucifer

NEED TO BE MIG’S BIMBO DOLL!!!

I wanna be a Bimbo Doll!!!!

tags/tw: written in third person, afab parts and pronouns, porn with no plot, public sex, caught in the act, thigh fucking, groping and unprotected p in v (wrap ur willie before u get silly)

authors note:Miguel is a loser, like armpit licker, toe sucker loser (no hate if thats ur thing don't let a internet weirdo yuck ur yum just not my cup of tea) no armpits are licked and no toes sucked in this fic tho

Of course Loser!Miguel has a pretty little Bimbo!Wife. With titties so big she accidently closes cupboards when she reached for something inside all the time. Who wears those pink velvet Juicy Couture tracksuits with big gold hoop earrings and is a complete and utter airhead. She’s the only adult he's ever seen skip before, but he didn't care one bit.

Bimbo!Wife chatters all about her day while she sits on Loser!Miguel’s desk at the lab. She’s babbling on and about a sale at some boutique she likes, rambling about all the cute clothes she bought. But Loser!Miguel’s isn’t listening, all he’s thinking about is his face buried in her soft, ample tits as she struggles to take his fat cock.

Loser!Miguel’s dick is so big it’s almost pathetic. His sweet Bimbo!Wife can barely take half of it, her poor pussy is too tight and his cock far too big for him to be inside her completely. She’s still talking, fussing over her hair while looking at herself with her heart shaped compact mirror. His thick cock was throbbing as his eyes landed on her pierced nipples pushing up against her tight top then up to her plump lips painted in shiny gloss.

Loser!Miguel called her over to his side of the desk, interrupting her to tell his dear Bimbo!Wife he wanted to show her something on his work monitor screen. Smiling sweetly, she bounced over to look, her palms on the desk as she bent to look. He was still seated behind her, thinking with his other head, he placed his big hands on her hips.

Loser!Miguel kneaded the ample fat over her ass, cupping her cheeks and slowly dropped to his knees. Pulling her pants down to her ankles, he ran his calloused hand over her soft thighs. He buried his nose into her folds, licking greedy stripes over her clothed sex. Bimbo!Wife’s sweet whines filled the sterile lab.

Loser!Miguel’s rough hands rubbed up her hips and down her thighs, his tongue pressed flat against her sensitive clit. She arched her back, grinding her warm cunt against his nose. His rough hands squeezed her hips, clapping and rubbing her cheeks. Poor Bimbo!Wife bit her soft bottom lip and wiggled her hips, bent over the desk.

Loser!Miguel gripped the back of her soft thighs and suckled and nipped at her soft skin. Leaving hickies and gentle bite marks on her flesh, sucking hard on the smooth skin. His tender lips left her body with a lewd pop and left behind a red mark, poor little Bimbo!Wife shuddered and arched her back a little. Loser!Miguel slapped her thick ass to watch the fat bounce and hear her squeal.

Loser!Miguel got to his feet, ripping off Bimbo!Wife’s panties off and took a moment to admire her pretty pink pussy before undoing his belt and slipping his slacks down ever so slightly. His throbbing cock twitched and strained against his boxers, smiling sadistically now that he had her in the position he wanted her in, she squeezed her thighs together while the tip of his member poked at the back of her legs.

He cupped her full breasts, rolling her perky nipples in his fingers as he began to thrust his hips to fuck her fat thighs. The top of his cock brushed back and forth against her wet core as he humped her. She gripped onto his desk for balance, soft moans and mewls rolled off her lips as her tits began to bounce in sync from his pelvis smacking against her ass.

With one arm wrapped around her neck and under her chin in a headlock and his free hand clasped over her hand. As much as Loser!Miguel loved hearing Bimbo!Wife’s squeals and whimpers, he couldn’t risk being walked in on in the lab, not while he was supposed to be working. His glasses began to slide down the bridge of his nose as he thrusted his dick between her plush inner thighs.

Loser!Miguel was practically drooling, the only thing better than fucking Bimbo!Wife’s thighs were her pussy of course. He was such a simp, he could easily be manipulated into doing whatever Bimbo!Wife wanted to if she wasn’t such a ditz. Though his card was usually nestled between her pillowy tits for “safe keeping”. Miguel would just fuck her throat if she over spent, which usually led to him wishing she’d buy more things so he could feel her lips on him like that.

Looking behind him to make sure no one was walking past his private lab and pulled away from Bimbo!Wife. Giving her ass a quick smack, making sure to leave a handprint behind, he bent her over the desk completely so he could tease her pretty pink pussy with his angry red tip that was already leaking pre cum. Her cheek and tits pressed up against the top of his desk as he slowly began to feed her inch after inch of his throbbing cock.

Sinking deeper into her tight cunt, he stuffed his ring and middle fingers into her mouth to suck on to prevent her from moaning too loudly. With his right hand he rubbed circles over her pulsing clit, making Bimbo!Wife’s back arch and shoulders shake but all noises were muffled by Miguel. He got full body chills once he got deeper inside her, biting his bottom lip, he was determined to get inside her completely for once.

Shoving his length deeper into her, she fought back a screech. Loser!Miguel’s eyes rolled back as he lazily thrusted into her, her tight velvety walls cradled his length. Squeezing him softly as he began to mold her to be his sweet little fuck toy. His pelvis began to smack against her ass, the fat over her butt began to bounce and clap a little, filling the quiet lab with the sound of skin slapping skin and Loser!Miguel’s whimpers. The sounds alone made the knot in the pit of Bimbo!Wife’s tummy tighten. 

Bimbo!Wife’s doe eyes rolled back into her head as she hollowed out her cheeks to deepthroat her husband's long fingers. Loser!Miguel’s thrusts got sloppier and faster by the second, ramming his tip in and out to kiss her cervix. Fat tears of pleasure (and maybe a little pain even) spilled down Bimbo!Wife’s red cheeks, his thumb digging into the side of her face to keep her from jerking away.

He thrusted harder, bending over her to get closer to her. The plaps got louder and louder, and both their orgasms drew closer. Loser!Miguel pulled his fingers from Bimbo!Wife’s mouth and gripped her hair. Still rubbing her clit, she whined and the knot in the pit of her stomach snapped. Which, of course, was met with excessive praise with Miguel.

Loser!Miguel whispered his praises and dirty words into the shell of her ear, he fucked her through the high of her orgasm as it washed over her in waves. A ring of cream wrapped around the base of his cock, his abs twitched as he left the inevitable release that heated his body up. 

Just as Loser!Miguel pulled out completely besides the tip to piston back into her to cum inside her tight pussy, the door slammed open behind them. Whipping his head around to see his own boss. His face immediately went pale, but sweet sweet Bimbo!Wife didn’t even notice. Once she felt his absence inside her, she began to roll her hips to fill the void.

“O’HARA!!” His boss screeched, his cheeks red, only then Bimbo!Wife jolted and looked up. Then it was her turn to turn as white as a ghost. 

Bimbo!Wife and Loser!Miguel sat on the curb outside the lab, waiting for the bus. A box of things from Loser!Miguel’s desk sat beside them, his head in his hands as he mumbled to himself, attempting to self soothe after what was probably the most embarrassing moment of his life.

“....I heard Alchemax is hiring….?” Bimbo!Wife offered meekly, playing with her hair. Loser!Miguel stopped talking to himself for a second to think. Bimbo!Wife gently rubbed his shoulder. “You need me to suck you off in the bus stop bathroom?” She cooed, to which he sniffled and nodded. 

I feel like Robert chase would be really bad at dancing but like upsettingly confident in his ability of it

It's crazy how seunghyo always risks de@th around seokryu like-😭😭

Tom Riddle was not a wattpad sugar daddy

WARNING: This post is just for funsies okay, do not take anything I say too seriously 💞💞

I HATE when people mischaracterise Tom Riddle.

He was a poor orphan living through the second world war. No, he would not spoil you.

He was a grass and a complete nerd, no matter how much anyone wants to deny it.

I personally love the idea of Tom being a cold, harsh, mysterious, enigma. But seriously? Do you think he'd allow people to see the bad side of him, wouldn't it threaten his reputation.

Also, this is an unpopular opinion, but I don't think he'd sleep around or date anyone, and if he did it'd only be to seem more normal and fit in better.

He is one of my favourite villains and constantly misrepresented like pookie was not openly a weirdo until he knew he could get away with it. 😔

toby says the most homophobic stuff ever, will laugh and ridicule gay people but listens to weezer

"pathetic wet dog of a dwarf" i'm screaming

Currently rewatching Adventure Time, so here's Simon being everyone's favorite dad!

should I text him?

his hands …

Hallo! My name is Inigo Montoya.

You killed my father.

Prepare to die!

A little portrait of Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride I did back in 2014

Done on 6x6 inch Aquabord with Winsor & Newton Gouache Paints

Sending Big Hugs from the Hobbit Hole. ♥♥♥

Scott