High Society - Tumblr Posts
MESSAGE!
when women act like the mother in romantic relationships
the truth is women have some accountability when it comes to them not getting what they want from men
i’ve been so attentive to it lately, but sooo many women are treating men like delicate flowers and mothering them
here’s a few examples just from this month
i’m at starbucks and this woman walks in with her husband, she has a backpack on one shoulder, she’s carrying her small baby on the other shoulder, and using her right hand to push the baby’s stroller, you can tell she’s struggling, meanwhile her husband next to her is literally carrying nothing, doing nothing to help her, being generally useless, and this woman has the audacity to tell this grown man, “go sit and i’ll order for us”, not only does he obey he doesn’t care to even take off the load of the backpack, baby or the stroller !
talk about treating your husband like a child
another example i notice all the time since the city i live in is super touristic is this, almost always, in couples, of all ages young and old, i always see the women asking for directions, asking the bus driver where the destination of the bus is, asking for help translating stuff, these men sit behind letting mommy do all the work, and i literally have to compose myself because why is the woman doing all the work while the man is sitting behind like a spoiled princess waiting for his girlfriend to bring back the correct information on where to go
there are endless examples but the truth is, a lot of you don’t know how to separate romantic love from your mother instinct
as soon as you get involved with a man, you want to do everything for him, make his life easier, protect him from basic everyday responsabilites, and you think that’s showing love when that’s literally just what a mother would do with her child
stop taking the lead with everything, stop calling for the waiter, or asking to be moved to a better table, let the man handle it
stop trying to plan the itinerary, and pack the luggage, and make checklists to make sure you forgot nothing, let the man handle it “oh but i can’t trust my boyfriend to plan a trip because bla bla bla”, he will never learn if you don’t let him and 99% of the time he’s just faking being bad at things so you do them instead
stop telling men to go sit while you go order the thing, or browse the store or demand to speak to the manager, let HIM handle it
stop trying to prevent men from making mistakes and protecting them from their own stupidity and lack of initiative, let him get sick for eating the expired food, he’s a grown man he should know better to read a food label, let him get constipated because he doesn’t know how to balance his diet, let his favorite white shirt get red in the wash, he should learn about separating colors
men learn through action, and consequences, not when you continuously protect them from life
generally, just stop trying to baby-proof life for your man, that’s how he grows to resent you and simultaneously rely on you for everyday things, you get stuck with the role of the care taker and wonder where it all went wrong !
do you see a lot of obvious hypergamy in your circles?
My experience with “Old money”& “New money” in Europe and England 🇬🇧🇪🇺🏛️💰
Europe 🍷📚💼
I come from a young country, so there is no “old money” circle to speak of in the sense of wealth spanning several generations of a family. All money here is relatively recent.
Older HNWIs (my parents' generation) mostly married people from the social circles they grew up in—uni or friends—and they usually became wealthy together. It's also the story of my parents.
In the older generation, I know a few hypergamous couples. Usually, the woman is the second wife/partner to a wealthier older man after his divorce or becoming a widower.
The children of this older generation are my age. Almost all of them are marrying people from the same background/social class. These people are mostly low key and hardworking.
No one is flashy in their everyday life, but you'll eventually find out about expensive cars, boats, yachts, watch collections, numerous properties they're renting out, vacation homes etc.
It's different with people who are the first generation of “new money”, usually self-made men in their 30s and 40s. In these couples who have just entered “new money” circles, I guess hypergamy is more frequent and obvious.
The aesthetic for women in this circle is different flavors of high maintenance. Everyone in this circle, men and women, enjoys showing off to some extent, expensive bags, watches, jewelry, cars, vacations, media appearances.
The “new money” people and children of HNWIs are like night and day, even though we're the same age.
The funny thing is that because pretty much everyone who's rich here made their money in business, these two social classes often intersect, working together as business partners. But socially, there's a very clear divide.
England 🏇🎻🍾
As for my experiences with “old money”, I was educated in England and still maintain ties there. England is populous so there's a huge variation of “new money”, and I won't get into that.
“Old money” English people can fly under the radar of foreigners at first glance because they have all those funny unspoken rules that new stuff and mainstream status symbols are gauche (eg. furniture, electronics, Birkins). Their residences are likely to be falling apart. This is perceived as "character" and "charm" in England.
But then you learn about their niche hobbies such as flying internationally regularly to watch their favorite sports team's matches, hunting in African countries, funding random vanity projects to keep their wayward kids out of trouble (they all give up in a year), and traveling between their various estates to just chill.
I enjoy visiting my English “old money” contacts, they are polite and generous, they can be genuinely sweet. But it's also obvious that they won't ever consider outsiders part of their circle, thus making hypergamy all the more challenging. You don't "network" with these people, the circle is closed.
There's this persistent, slightly sour undercurrent that collectively, they're not taking you seriously at all. Social class is set in stone in England, you don't transcend your station in life no matter how rich you become or what family you marry into.
I detected this undercurrent quite early when I moved to England and it put me off trying to get closer to them in whatever capacity. I didn't feel that it was worth it because I already have money. Hypergamy in this environment, taking into account the cons I sensed, wouldn't be a significant enough life upgrade for me. As an outsider, I could never be sure about their intentions.
Being easygoing and not nosy inadvertently turned out to be the right approach to keep lasting, if superficial connections with them.
There has been some interest of romantic/sexual nature on their side.
An anecdote I can share is once an older gentleman tried to set me up with his “tall and blonde” son. I already knew him well at that point but I still questioned his motive. I was young, sweet and naive, and at the time many wanted to take advantage of these qualities. Or maybe he genuinely thought well of me. Perhaps he wanted to test me, see what I'd do, for pure amusement. Who knows.
Grace Kelly and Frank Sinatra in High Society (1956)
OK HS updates today! Posting this here so I'm obliged to finally do it today
I maybe busy plus the next update is a written one so... It might get late... Sorry😬might drop a lil chapter thou💜
Grace Kelly behind the scenes of High Society (1956)