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happy birthday

Let me introduce you to my ultimate anime crush 🥹🥹

Say hello to rocko 😁

(Ps: he’s THE ideal bf😭)

I just recently started liking Sakusa fics and this one touched my heart ☺️

Touch-Averse | Kiyoomi Sakusa x Reader

✧ Summary: Physical affection was something you loved, and while Sakusa was not exactly the biggest fan, you didn’t want to encroach on him. You weren’t expecting your boyfriend to get jealous!

➳ A/N: Hey! This has been waiting around for so long; I think I steered a little too into the angst with this one asfdgfhj ;-; ➳ Tags: Angst with a happy ending, komori is a lil shit; ➳  Masterlist 

—xXxXxXxXxXx—

By all intents and purposes, Sakusa was the perfect boyfriend.

You were friends before through Komori since junior high and one thing led to another before the wing-spiker finally asked you out. You knew long before as his friend that he was averse to physical contact — even if it was under two layers of gloves.

No, the germaphobe kept everyone at a distance further from arms length. He wanted to keep things neat and orderly and straying from that made him uncomfortable.

And it warmed your heart that, despite this life-long struggle, Sakusa still let you into his world in little ways.

He would hold your hand through the halls of school (of course, you had to thoroughly wash your hands first and then get his personal approval). And, on lucky days like when Itachiyama won their practice matches that week, Sakusa would kiss you on the forehead openly in public.

All you had to do was vocalize things, keep the roads of communication between you two and he would respond. If you wanted to come over to his family home or vice versa — just let him know ahead of time and he would be happy to accommodate you. You want to go on a date to the arcade? Sure, send him a text and he’ll pencil you in for a couple days from now. A part of you also liked wearing his sweaters, the ones that plastered his last-name across the back. And on request, Sakusa let you wear his own to school.

Sakusa was generally aware of your needs and was not against being vocal about your relationship. You knew all about this prior to being his official girlfriend and had even found it endearing how much he cared about your personal health.

All it took was a look. 

A single look was enough to plant the seed of doubt and make it take root. 

Keep reading

I just recently started liking Sakusa fics and this one touched my heart ☺️

Touch-Averse | Kiyoomi Sakusa x Reader

✧ Summary: Physical affection was something you loved, and while Sakusa was not exactly the biggest fan, you didn’t want to encroach on him. You weren’t expecting your boyfriend to get jealous!

➳ A/N: Hey! This has been waiting around for so long; I think I steered a little too into the angst with this one asfdgfhj ;-; ➳ Tags: Angst with a happy ending, komori is a lil shit; ➳  Masterlist 

—xXxXxXxXxXx—

By all intents and purposes, Sakusa was the perfect boyfriend.

You were friends before through Komori since junior high and one thing led to another before the wing-spiker finally asked you out. You knew long before as his friend that he was averse to physical contact — even if it was under two layers of gloves.

No, the germaphobe kept everyone at a distance further from arms length. He wanted to keep things neat and orderly and straying from that made him uncomfortable.

And it warmed your heart that, despite this life-long struggle, Sakusa still let you into his world in little ways.

He would hold your hand through the halls of school (of course, you had to thoroughly wash your hands first and then get his personal approval). And, on lucky days like when Itachiyama won their practice matches that week, Sakusa would kiss you on the forehead openly in public.

All you had to do was vocalize things, keep the roads of communication between you two and he would respond. If you wanted to come over to his family home or vice versa — just let him know ahead of time and he would be happy to accommodate you. You want to go on a date to the arcade? Sure, send him a text and he’ll pencil you in for a couple days from now. A part of you also liked wearing his sweaters, the ones that plastered his last-name across the back. And on request, Sakusa let you wear his own to school.

Sakusa was generally aware of your needs and was not against being vocal about your relationship. You knew all about this prior to being his official girlfriend and had even found it endearing how much he cared about your personal health.

All it took was a look. 

A single look was enough to plant the seed of doubt and make it take root. 

Keep reading

I just recently started liking Sakusa fics and this one touched my heart ☺️

Touch-Averse | Kiyoomi Sakusa x Reader

✧ Summary: Physical affection was something you loved, and while Sakusa was not exactly the biggest fan, you didn’t want to encroach on him. You weren’t expecting your boyfriend to get jealous!

➳ A/N: Hey! This has been waiting around for so long; I think I steered a little too into the angst with this one asfdgfhj ;-; ➳ Tags: Angst with a happy ending, komori is a lil shit; ➳  Masterlist 

—xXxXxXxXxXx—

By all intents and purposes, Sakusa was the perfect boyfriend.

You were friends before through Komori since junior high and one thing led to another before the wing-spiker finally asked you out. You knew long before as his friend that he was averse to physical contact — even if it was under two layers of gloves.

No, the germaphobe kept everyone at a distance further from arms length. He wanted to keep things neat and orderly and straying from that made him uncomfortable.

And it warmed your heart that, despite this life-long struggle, Sakusa still let you into his world in little ways.

He would hold your hand through the halls of school (of course, you had to thoroughly wash your hands first and then get his personal approval). And, on lucky days like when Itachiyama won their practice matches that week, Sakusa would kiss you on the forehead openly in public.

All you had to do was vocalize things, keep the roads of communication between you two and he would respond. If you wanted to come over to his family home or vice versa — just let him know ahead of time and he would be happy to accommodate you. You want to go on a date to the arcade? Sure, send him a text and he’ll pencil you in for a couple days from now. A part of you also liked wearing his sweaters, the ones that plastered his last-name across the back. And on request, Sakusa let you wear his own to school.

Sakusa was generally aware of your needs and was not against being vocal about your relationship. You knew all about this prior to being his official girlfriend and had even found it endearing how much he cared about your personal health.

All it took was a look. 

A single look was enough to plant the seed of doubt and make it take root. 

Keep reading

I just recently started liking Sakusa fics and this one touched my heart ☺️

Touch-Averse | Kiyoomi Sakusa x Reader

✧ Summary: Physical affection was something you loved, and while Sakusa was not exactly the biggest fan, you didn’t want to encroach on him. You weren’t expecting your boyfriend to get jealous!

➳ A/N: Hey! This has been waiting around for so long; I think I steered a little too into the angst with this one asfdgfhj ;-; ➳ Tags: Angst with a happy ending, komori is a lil shit; ➳  Masterlist 

—xXxXxXxXxXx—

By all intents and purposes, Sakusa was the perfect boyfriend.

You were friends before through Komori since junior high and one thing led to another before the wing-spiker finally asked you out. You knew long before as his friend that he was averse to physical contact — even if it was under two layers of gloves.

No, the germaphobe kept everyone at a distance further from arms length. He wanted to keep things neat and orderly and straying from that made him uncomfortable.

And it warmed your heart that, despite this life-long struggle, Sakusa still let you into his world in little ways.

He would hold your hand through the halls of school (of course, you had to thoroughly wash your hands first and then get his personal approval). And, on lucky days like when Itachiyama won their practice matches that week, Sakusa would kiss you on the forehead openly in public.

All you had to do was vocalize things, keep the roads of communication between you two and he would respond. If you wanted to come over to his family home or vice versa — just let him know ahead of time and he would be happy to accommodate you. You want to go on a date to the arcade? Sure, send him a text and he’ll pencil you in for a couple days from now. A part of you also liked wearing his sweaters, the ones that plastered his last-name across the back. And on request, Sakusa let you wear his own to school.

Sakusa was generally aware of your needs and was not against being vocal about your relationship. You knew all about this prior to being his official girlfriend and had even found it endearing how much he cared about your personal health.

All it took was a look. 

A single look was enough to plant the seed of doubt and make it take root. 

Keep reading

hey guys!! i need help finding a fanfic again. 😔

it's a sakusa one this time. its where sakusa is a germaphobic and you got your period, so you have a really bad cramps and just wanted to cuddle with him but he declined saying no you might get blood on him. then the next day he told kimori and got scolded, kimori said that y/n is already having period since teen and knows how to take care of it so that it wont leak.

thats all i can remember 😭

  soft launch ᵕ̈        timeskip! sakusa kiyoomi x gn reader ˎˊ˗

⋮⋮ ˒ ₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ 𖥻 ⿻ : it's just a silly   ⋮⋮  little tiktok, nothing major ... ⋮⋮  right ?

📋 content     ♡ # 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧 🐮     ♡ # 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵 🥛     ♡ # 2.6k 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴

🎶 on shuffle “ never lose me ” - flo milli ( specifically the trending clip of " yeah he my man , he was never your type . if you try me , ho it ' s on sight " , but whatever tiktok audio you ended up using is up to you lol <3 )

🧸 directory ‹ ✩  like what you read ? check out more of my blog !  •ᴗ•

💬 kuroppiii ─ “ first time i ' ve pulled myself together to write about sakusa bc when i think about him , i simply can ' t think straight . an exaggeration ? man i wish !! ”

you weren’t anyone special, really. you lived your life, pursuing your goals and hobbies, spending time with those you love. there were things you were good at, sure, but any sort of recognition or praise for those things only ever came from those closest to you. if you walked down the street, no one would bat an eye. "ordinary" couldn't have described you any better.

your boyfriend on the other hand, star wing spiker and outside hitter of the msby jackals, jersey number 15, sakusa kiyoomi certainly was a bit extra-ordinary in the public's eye.

if you took any of his official social media accounts, they easily skyrocketed ahead of any of your accounts in the sheer numbers of following or likes or views. but that's only natural, as the reasons you love your boyfriend–talented, cool, handsome–surely would be shared by the thousands he's subjected to by being in the limelight of the popular and successful pro-volleyball team.

but what else is natural, is that you've always wanted to be able to "soft launch" him, your boyfriend. you've scrolled through your tiktok "for you" page and your pinterest feeds and have undoubtedly saved every "soft launch inspo <3" post you've seen.

the idea was just perfect, you thought–sakusa often prefers not having his face in photos or videos anyway.

to sakusa, however, well... he didn’t really get it until you sat down and had to explain it. you always found it ironic he was never the most active online despite having the bigger following count between the two of you, after all.

“so you want to go public?” he asked, a bit of surprise in his voice.

"well, yes. but also no," you tried to clarify, leaving him with an even more perplexed face that tugged at your lips as you smiled and calmly continued with your elaboration.

you and him have discussed how to navigate your relationship with his volleyball stardom in the past before. it's not like your closest friends and family didn't know about your relationship, but granted, some of your more casual friends and acquaintances who followed your socials probably didn't entirely know either.

the general public definitely did not know, though, of course. but that's why you'd just post something on your accounts, significantly smaller than his.

“are you okay with that?" you made sure to confirm with him, after explaining your thought process on the whole idea.

he came over to you and placed his hands on your hips gently, a concentrated look in attempts to understand your idea adorning his features as he spoke, “i mean, i'd love to be able to finally let everyone know about us–but really it's up to you if you're okay with it. when it comes to things like this—always has, love.”

and what he said was true, from the moment you started dating he was always trying to protect your peace from the media and reporters and cameras. to him, you were like his private repose from all that. but admittedly, as time went on, you both came to realize keeping your relationship under wraps could get pretty hard at times, especially when you wished to go on normal dates out and about instead of resorting to small secluded get-togethers with the handful of people you who knew or nights spent inside your home.

you shook your head as you reached up to brush some of his curls out of his face, revealing his beauty marks above his eye—brows subtly knit together as he considered how your idea might play out in the longrun.

his arms lovingly pull you even closer as you reassure him, "it's just my friends and family who might see it, anyway. it's just a fun little thing to do, omi, that's all!"

،   そ   ✧   の後    🌱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 ...

a few days later, you and sakusa had an event to attend with the rest of his team. it was a nice dinner so you were all dressed up–the perfect get-up to record a small tiktok or two to satisfy your boredom as you waited for your boyfriend to finish getting ready himself.

as you scrolled through your saved audios, you stood by the humble expanse of wall where sakusa had some of his volleyball medals and trinkets displayed in your shared apartment. then it hit you: this would be the perfect opportunity for that soft launch you were thinking about.

he didn't even have to be there, you could just have his framed "sakusa 15" jersey and recognitions with his name on it in the background as you sang along to a song. it was simple. a little ostentatious? maybe. but you thought it was subtle and fun enough to entertain the people who followed you and were going to see it.

so you picked an audio and started recording. your accessories for going out that night glimmered with the gold medals on the wall in the dim lights of the apartment as you lip-synced to the lyrics, showing off your outfit with a slightly sly attitude of making claim to your relationship with sakusa–claim to what rightfully was yours.

but just as the timer on your video was up, you hear sakusa’s voice approaching from down the hallway, his watch clattering as he's trying to put it on, "what are you doing?"

you break out into a sheepish smile as you rush over to end the video timer manually, "nothing! let's head out!"

in the car on the way to the event, you posted the video and thought nothing about it. no tags, no caption, no nothing–just something cheeky for your friends and family to see and hopefully get a small kick out of.

،   そ   ✧   の後    🌱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 ...

late the next morning after you wake up, you stretch over to your bedside table to grab your phone to do a first-thing-in-the-morning doom scroll. sakusa's still peacefully snoozing away–head tucked under your jaw, soft breaths fanning your neck, arm secured around your waist, and legs tangled with yours under the sheets–when you open up one of your socials and realize you've gained thousands of followers overnight... literally.

you swipe past notifications of your friends texting you dozens of messages to see that hundreds of comments have flooded the most recent post you made–pictures of you and those same friends on a day out in the city–no sakusa in sight yet a lot of the new comments gave mention to him.

almost thinking you're still asleep and dreaming, you scroll through the words total strangers have left for you. it was such a mixed bag: some were mean, some were just confused, and some were even very nice, complementing you on your appearance.

there were a few, however, that mentioned a certain "repost".

"here from the repost"

"RAN to see this after seeing the repost"

"it's been less than a day and there's already so many comments about the repost lol"

and so you go to look up your name with the word "repost" attached to it, and are met with dozens of articles about your "viral tiktok reposted by msby's sakusa kiyoomi seemingly hints at volleyball star's secret relationship".

shocked, but still trying not wake up said volleyball star with your reaction as he clung to you on your shared bed, you quickly switch over to your tiktok to look back at the video you had posted just the night before.

surely enough as you let the video play out, the buttons on the right-hand side of your phone screen displayed astronomically larger numbers than that you've ever seen something you've posted in your life track before.

as the video plays the moment sakusa had called out to you–with you smiling to somewhere off camera before getting up close to the camera and cutting off the recording–you look down lower on the screen and see “msby sakusa reposted”. his official account. (you knew this bc he had you help him set up his personal one, the name of which you set up to come up as simply his nickname amongst friends "omi" with the cleaning sponge and bubbles emoji.)

hearing the audio of the video, you can feel sakusa stir at your side, his brows furrow against your skin as he peeks out from under his messy bedhead of curls to look at what you could be watching so soon after waking up.

after processing it was a video of you, one of his hands wordlessly part from where it was snaked around your waist and reaches up to tap on the little heart icon on the side of your screen.

then his hand returns to where it was, and he retreats back to the space between your collarbone and your jaw, hoping to quickly be lulled back to sleep just for a bit more before you two would have to get up and get on with your day.

but after a brief moment, you can suddenly feel the vibration of his voice against your skin, groggy and sloughed down by drowsiness to a deep treble as he lazily mumbled, “oh... that was your phone. was wondering why it wasn’t liked yet. i could've sworn i did already...”

his words set loose butterflies in your stomach, knowing despite his limited time spent online, he still does everything to let you know he loves you, even if it takes making a small heart icon light up on a video you post. but soon that warm feeling goes away, as your concern quickly overcomes it given the current situation at hand.

“omi," you coo, an attempt to not let on in your voice how you were slightly freaking out as to not disturb his peaceful state, "did you repost it? my video?”

“of course i did,” he replied in a heartbeat. you could feel his breathing start to slow down, him on the brink of slipping back into continuing his slumber.

you also felt he didn't quite realize the implications of what he did.

“you looked nice in it,” you hear him drawl out, after being met with your contemplative silence.

you hummed as you asked a follow up question, “did you do it with your personal account?”

“mhmm,” he sounds so content when he hums back in reply, bliss apparent as he spoke being tangled up with you as sunlight peeked in through the bedroom windows.

one of your hands paused the tiktok from playing and departed from where it clutched your phone to comb through sakusa's hair–partly to calm your nerves and partly in adoration at the realization he was so eager to show you his affection, that he didn’t check which account he was on before he reposted your video.

you tried your best to say your next words carefully and gently, “well i don’t think you did, babe."

"hm?"

trying to act nonchalant about it, you continue, "i gained, like, a thousand followers while we were sleeping.”

"hm?!!"

you no longer feel his curls under your fingertips as he retreats from his little hiding spot, now confronting your phone screen where surely enough, he caught a glimpse of the numbers your video was doing, as well as the little tag that, yes, it does look like he reposted your video using his official msby account.

he was wide awake now as one of his hands go to rake through his locks, and he starts rambling despite how his voice definitely wasn't caught up from his sleep yet, “y/n, angel, i'm so sorry. i didn't even check, i should've. i should've been more careful. now everyone know's about it, and it's all my fault. is anyone being mean to you about it? i can say something, or post something, right now, or—“

you cut his running mouth off with a kiss, dropping your phone in your lap to cup the sides of his face before you pull away.

"you're not... you're not mad at me?" he asks softly, eyes searching yours nervously.

a moment ago you were feeling a little more than uneasy at the thought that you weren't going to be just an ordinary person anymore. but now, seeing how much sakusa cared and doted over you, you realize you'll be fine. because you won't be dealing with it alone. you had someone extraordinary to be by your side each step of the way.

“no, omi. i'm not mad," you tell him through a warm smile, "at least we don't have to hide it anymore."

you feel him slightly nod in your hands, still on edge as he intently listens and hangs onto your every word. you could never get mad at that face. you can't resist the urge to brush your nose against his because of how cute you thought your boyfriend was.

"and besides, it still wasn’t a hard launch. we don't have to confirm anything just yet. so by social media rules... i can still post some more soft launches before we do that, no?" you say with a hint of mischief in your tone, making sakusa break out into a smile as he chuckles and places his hands over yours at the sides of his face.

"y'know what we always say," you continue with a more genuine voice, barely above a whisper, "we won’t let them get to us. we don't owe them anything–let them figure it out. what’s done is done, so let’s just have fun with it, okay?”

you're blessed with the sight of sakusa's dimpled smile growing even wider and before you know it he's all over you, on top of you smothering you with kisses, making you laugh as you try to pry him off of you.

he finally pauses to hover over you, his eyes with the slightest creases at their corners because of how he was smiling down at you, “thanks for bearing with me. not just my social media incompetence, but–for dealing with my… everything, i guess. i love you.”

the sheets ruffle around you as you gingergly wrap your arms up and around his neck, “i love you too omi. always will.”

you reach to grab your phone, buried somewhere in the blanket draped over the two of you, and sakusa rolls off of you as he finds it first and hands it to you. now it was your turn to ramble on, “how about we do the one where you stand behind me and hold the phone really high? or the one where you pick me up and spin me around in a random parking lot? or maybe i should make a video wearing your jersey–? oh my god that'd be diabolical, don't you think omi?"

he laughs into your shoulder at your eagerness as you spend the rest of the morning scrolling through soft launch videos online that you can save to copy later.

“i’ll do anything," he tells you, "i want to show you off–because now i can properly do it the way you've always deserved, love.”

       ⇩  ⇩  ⇩ 𝘽𝙊𝙉𝙐𝙎 ::

a few weeks (and a few more soft-launch tiktoks you both had fun with) later, although you and sakusa never publicly confirmed anything yet, his fans practically accepted that you and him were an item.

you even had the pleasure of seeing some fan-made edits of you come across your feed and appreciatively dropping a few likes on them yourself. but there was one in particular when you peeked into the comments of the video.

the original poster had commented on their own edit: "GUYS SAKUSA GAVE MY EDIT A LIKE WTF???"

you laughed out loud at the comment, considering as how your dear and darling boyfriend had never mentioned his apparent viewing and liking of these edits of you online as of late.

your boyfriend may have learned his lesson about public reposts, but it looks like his attempts at covering up what he hits "like" on needed a bit of work, too.

Sunshine

small pregnancy mention. boyfriend!kiyoomi part III!!

There’s a feminine voice coming from the bathroom when Atsumu enters his hotel suite.

“Don’t you think you’re being just a little over dramatic?”

There’s a light sound of clanking when he sets his overnight bag to the side, water running and the sound of fizzling foam. Sakusa’s feet make shadows under the door as Atsumu creeps closer, and shallows his breathing to effectively eavesdrop.

“No.” He huffs like he’s pouting, and the voice giggles. “I’m gonna die here, you know. I hate sharing a room.”

“Mmh.” You hum. “Does that apply to me?”

“You’re different.”

Atsumu gapes a little.

There’s… no way Omi’s gone and found himself a girlfriend. No way. I mean, sure, his body’s a ten but-

“You’ll live, baby. I promise.” Your voice breaks a little from the wavering reception of the hotel suite. “Plus, Miya’s your friend. Better him than anyone else, huh?”

Sakusa huffs. “Yeah, but he’s a pig. At least Shoyo-kun knows not to leave his dirty socks laying around.”

Atsumu grins. He didn’t disagree! Before furrowing again. Wait, he calls him Shoyo-kun?

“Doesn’t that guy also stay up till like 3am? I remember you being really grumpy about that last time you shared a room.”

Wait, last season?

“Yeah.” Sakusa sighs, and there’s a rush of water that muffles him for a moment. Muted voices cottoned by white noise and Atsumu nearly starts to back away when the water finally stops.

“I miss you so much.” He hears clear as day, but even then Atsumu debates if he imagined it.

“I miss you too, Omi.” You sigh, a faint rustling hissing through his speaker. “It’s just three days. Then I’ll be all over you again.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Atsumu blows out a breath through his nose. This is definitely his girlfriend. He’s never heard Omi speak like this to anybody. - And he’s seen him with his mom before. Hearing Omi talk so sweetly almost makes him feel like his brain is making it up, and he’s all but pressing his head against the door just to be sure that this is a real thing.

“‘You eaten yet by the way? I can send you some money so you can-“

“I’ve eaten, baby, yes.” You chuckle. “What is your deal? Money’s not a love language, you know. - My friends think you’re my sugar daddy.”

“I’m a pro athlete.” He says frankly. “And I don’t like seeing you spend your hard earned cash when you could be spending mine.”

“What’ll be the point of me working then?”

“Exactly, quit your job.” And the way he says it has you full out laughing.

“You know, if you’re gonna turn me into a housewife, I’d like to see a ring first.”

Sakusa’s voice sounds muffled under a towel when he retorts. “That can be arranged.”

You guffaw this time, a little airy, a little ugly. “Yeah? Well the sooner you get home the sooner you can make an honest woman outta me. Hell, next thing I know you’ll have me barefoot and pregnant.”

“Don’t just say things like that, I can’t get off with Atsumu in the same room as me.”

“Goodbye, Kiyoomi.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” And the desperation in his friend's voice nearly inclines him to audibly scoff in disbelief. This guy’s really hooked, huh?

“Yeah, sunshine?”

“I love you.”

Atsumu starts to choke on his spit.

Laptop

Fool (Sakusa Kiyoomi x F! Reader/OC) Ch. 1

DISCLAIMER: This is my first proper fanfic here on Tumblr, so feedbacks are highly appreciated! :) Also, FEM Pronouns are used, so if that’s not your cup of tea, you can skip this. This hasn’t been properly proofread yet, so there are some errors.

CHAPTER 1 Giggles and chatters filled the room as the bride and her entourage get dolled up.

"You excited? Nervous?" One of the bride's maids asked the bride, simultaneously plucking her veil from the mannequin.

Before she could respond, the door opened, "Stop playing with that," they heard the bride's mother chide playfully.

"I wasn't," the bride's maid said shyly, putting down the veil. 

Her mom went behind her, helping the stylists with the bride's gown.

"You look lovely, sweetie," Her mom said, smiling softly. 

"Thanks, mom," she said, as loud as a breath, "I can't believe this is happening. It feels like a dream. Oh my God, what if something goes wrong? What if the flowers are all wrong? What if Omi decides getting married isn't for him? Or what if-"

"Hey! Stop. Nothing's going to go wrong," Her sister, the maid-of-honor, said as she stood behind her and gently held her shoulders, "I checked, everything's fine. And I assure you Omi will not change his mind last minute, he's not like that. So relax. Okay?"

"Okay," The bride said, willing herself to calm down.

"Besides, Sakusa would be a fool not to marry you."

Sakusa would be a fool not to marry you.

---------

In the other room, Kiyoomi Sakusa stood in front of the mirror, fixing his necktie and cuff links for what seemed like the millionth time. "If you don't stop, I will choke you with that," He heard his cousin, Komori said, walking up to him. Kiyoomi glared at him, opting to say nothing and went back to fiddling with his tie. "We asked him to stop, like, 30 minutes ago. Even told him we'd tie him to a chair. Eh, tough luck."

They heard someone, Bokuto, say, as he emerged from the room's en suite.

"Did you wash your hands?" Kiyoomi asked, well it sounded more like an accusation, "Can't have your germs ruining my wedding."

"Yes, your highness," Bokuto said teasingly, "I even put some of that fancy-looking hand sanitizer you brought with you. It's off brand for you though."

"It's hers. She told me it's her wedding gift for me. Told her she's the best gift I could ever have," Omi answered, a small smile appearing on his face.

"Kiyoomi Sakusa," A voice suddenly exclaimed, it was Atsumu Miya, "I never thought you'd be this sappy. Then again, I never thought you'd get married, but look at where you are."

"Shut your mouth before I shut it for you," Omi threatened, eyeing Atsumu from the mirror.

The boys continued to tease chat with each other, until a knock resounded in the room.

"You boys ready?" Omi's brother asked. They all looked at Kiyoomi, who seemed to have gone paler.

"Don't worry Omi, everything's going to be okay," Komori said, patting Omi on the back, "I'm sure she's just as excited as you are."

I'm sure she's just as excited as you are.

But it wasn't that Kiyoomi was worried about. Of course she was excited, he should be too, this was all they've been talking about for a year. But why did it feel like he wasn't? Like the bile coming up his throat was out of fear rather than excitement. His hands, usually calloused and dry from volleyball, started to feel cold and clammy. It was unsettling. At the back of his head, something's nagging at him. He just knew something was wrong.

--------

Looking at the sea of people from the altar, he felt a sense of déjà vu. He's seen this setting somewhere. His brother's wedding maybe? But the feeling was way too personal to it to be something he momentarily experienced. Dwelling on that thought didn't really help Kiyoomi's nerves. In fact, they appear get worse. Not even the giggles of his little cousins could distract him. 

Dark eyes swam amongst the guests. What are you looking for? He asked himself. What was he looking for? Or who was we looking for.

He found his answer in the pair of warm grey eyes looking at him mournfully. Why does she look familiar? He questioned himself. Maybe she's a friend of his fiancée? Maybe someone he knew before the accident? He did lose quite a lot of his memories, and even after two years, some of it haven't returned.

Before he was able to turn to ask Komori, who was dutifully standing behind him, the wedding march began playing, signalling the entrance of his bride. Kiyoomi looked straight on, at the double doors, telling himself that all of these are just wedding jitters, and when he saw her, he knew everything will be fine.

Except it wasn't, because when she walked in, it wasn't her he saw, it was someone else. It was like a memory of his was being played right in from of him. The same warm grey eyes, looking at him with bashfulness and so full of love. 

He blinked and it was gone. 

His real bride now stood before him. He furrowed his brows, what just happened?

"Hi," She whispered, as her father gave handed her off to Kiyoomi, "You look nice."

He smiled, looking more uncomfortable than shy, "Yeah, you too."

Her smile faltered, she felt something was off. However, she shook it off as she heard the priest start speaking.

Things were going well, at least that's how it appeared to those watching. It was all good until it wasn't.

As the priest announced the exchanging of vows, Kiyoomi knew he made a mistake. He was already with someone else. Someone who wasn't the girl in front of him. His eyes darted around the room, dark eyes searching for warm grey ones. Amanai. Amanai Kanoka. That's her name. She was his girlfriend before the accident, before he lost his memories. He was supposed to be with her, not the one in front of him.

"Mr. Sakusa, I believe you've written your own vows?" The priest asked.

His hands started sweating and shaking.

"I-uh-" He started, feeling around his suit pocket for his vows, "Yeah, I-uh-"

His bride looked at him worriedly, "Omi, is everything alright?"

Kiyoomi sighed, "I can't."

Sakusa would be a fool not to marry you.

"What?" She said, thinking she misheard him.

"I can't marry you," He said, louder, allowing almost everyone to hear.

"W-what?" She stuttered, hands started shaking.

"I'm already with someone else," He said, looking on to the audience, straight at Amanai Kanoka.

"W-who...what...I-I don't understand," His bride, well ex-bride, said. She looked at him as saw his eyes weren't directed at her. She followed his eye sight and found him looking at, who she thought, was supposed to be his ex-girlfriend.

They never really broke up, you know? A voice in her head said. But she left him, because he can't remember. Another voice countered.

"What's there not to understand," He exclaimed, rather harshly, "I can't be with you when I'm obviously already with someone else."

He looked backed at her, his "supposed bride-to-be". Her eyes were welling up, and unfocused. He knew he hurt her, but can she blame him?

"I, I'm sorry," He started, "I hope there's another way, but..."

He tried to make things better, although obviously impossible. He can't say anything anymore. What are you supposed to say to someone when you broke their heart? On their wedding day no less?

He looked back at Amanai. She was gone. He heard the doors open and saw her walking out. Without a second thought, he followed her. He stepped down the altar, and ran towards the huge double doors, leaving his ex-fiancée to pick up her broken heart.

Next part

Fool (Sakusa Kiyoomi x F! Reader/OC) Ch. 2

Prev. part

CHAPTER 2

She felt her knees buckle. Had Atsumu been a second slower, she probably would have collapsed. The echoes of the huge doors being shut slashed at her heart, even worse when she saw him follow her.

"Tsumu..." She called softly, cling on his suit jacket, "This was supposed to be my day. Our day..."

"Shh, I know," Was all Atsumu could say. Because truthfully, what could you say to a girl who's been left by her fiancé at the altar. On their wedding day.

Everyone seemed to get over their shock and started to chatter amongst themselves. 

The bride's parents, even Kiyoomi's, quickly rushed to the girl's aid.

"Oh dear, we're so sorry. We don't, we can't explain what happened," Kiyoomi's mother started, she didn't know what to do. Her son just up and left. His ex-fiancée was a crying mess on the church floor.

"It's okay," The girl's mother stated, "There's nothing we could've done."

With that, she helped her daughter up, and left the church, her husband and eldest daughter trailing behind.

--------

As fast as her legs could go, Kanoka ran. She knew she shouldn't have gone to the wedding. But she couldn't help but want see Kiyoomi one last time. At least before he was a married man. She didn't expect for him to remember her.

"Amanai, wait!" She heard him call.

She didn't stop, only willed herself to run faster. However, even with her volleyball training, Kiyoomi was faster. He caught up to her, and quickly grabbed her hand, pushing her to a halt.

"Please," She heard him say.

"What do you think you're doing, Sakusa?" She asked, trying to keep a strong facade, not looking at him.

She knew if she did, her resolve would break.

"What do you mean 'what am I doing?' I'm trying to get back with you? To you?" He answered, matter-of-factly, like all of this was a normal thing. Like he didn’t just leave a girl at the altar.

"Get back with me?!" Amanai parroted, now fully looking at Kiyoomi, "Sakusa, you were about to get married?!"

"Yeah, but..." He started, memories coming in waves, "I was with you, before the accident..."

He looked at her eyes, he felt at home. At peace. At least that’s what he tried to tell himself.

"We never really broke up."

"I mean, sure, but..." She said, confusion flooding her, "But this all seems so wrong."

They both stayed silent. Yes, logically, this was wrong. In his head, Kiyoomi knew this was wrong. His mind told him to go back to the church and finish that wedding. But in that moment, Kiyoomi felt like leaving was the right thing to do. I mean, how could he commit to someone else, when his heart was still with another, right?

"What are we going to do now?" Amanai asked, looking anywhere but at the man still holding her hand.

"Maybe we could, you know, try again?" Kiyoomi offered, "Pick up where we left off?" A second. Then two. Then three. And another.

Amanai held her breath. Was she really willing to break someone else's heart to save her own? The answer was simple.

"Okay." She said, finally looking at Kiyoomi's eyes, "Let's try this again."

Kiyoomi let out a breath, and smiled.

"Okay." He said, smile appearing to have gotten bigger.

They stayed in silence for a few seconds before, unexpectedly, Kiyoomi pulled Amanai in to a bone crushing hug.

"I missed you," He whispered.

I missed you, too. She said to herself. She knew she did, but she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. "I know."

Kiyoomi was back. In her arms. She was holding him, in person. Just like before. However, even the blindest of people could see that things weren't what they used to be.

----------

Although on the outside, things seemed to be back to normal, Kiyoomi knew they weren't. Atsumu and Bokuto glared at him every chance they got, and Hinata and Komori looked at him with pity when they make eye contact. Plus, his relationship with Amanai wasn't like what it was back then. They seemed to be fighting over the littlest of things, things he couldn't even remember them fighting about before. And with the Olympics nearing, practices have been doubled. Needless to say, Kiyoomi was tired. Not to mention, and a certain someone had been on his mind as of late.

"What?!" He shouted at Atsumu, tossing the ball to the side, hard.

Had Hinata not been fast enough, it would have hit his head.

The blond Miya had been glaring at Kiyoomi for the past 10 minutes, and purposefully flunking his sets so that the Outside Hitter would miss his spikes.

"What do you mean, 'what?!' ? You know what you did!" Atsumu exclaim, pushing at Kiyoomi.

"If you plan on talking about her, I suggest you shut it, before I shove a ball right at your ugly mug," Kiyoomi threatened, hard eyes focused on Atsumu.

"Do you even know what you did to her?! How broken she was?!" The setter continued, ignoring the other's threats.

"Tsumu, this isn't the time," Bokuto whispered from the side. Trying to diffuse the situation.

Fortunately, Atsumu heard, however it didn't have the desired effect.

"So when, huh? When are we going to tell this idiot how broken he left her that day?! How we had to watch the light in her eyes slowly die?! How we had to help her, for two longs years, pick up the broken pieces of herself he left behind?! When?!" Atsumu shouted, angry tears falling as he faced Kiyoomi.

Kiyoomi felt his chest tighten. He knew he broke her heart, but he never thought to what degree, or how much. He assumed she would've been okay after a few months.

Oh, how stupid he was to think that.

He was stupid for leaving someone who even after three years, unknowingly had his heart. Amanai never had it in the first place. Sure he thought that when his memories came back, but looking back on it, he realized, he only craved for Amanai because she was his past. Something he knew of, something he was certain.

She wasn't. She was new. A breath of fresh air in his polluted daydreams. He got scared. Scared of something new, because no one made him feel that way before. He didn't know what to do.

Now he did. He knew what he had to do.

However, staring at the elegant silver envelope resting in his hand, he knew he was too late. And as he sat there in his three-piece grey suit, he knew he could never have her back.

She started helping out at the restaurant a year after. It was a good way to distract herself.

Watching her smile, something that was used to be directed at him, as she danced with a certain dark-haired Miya, painfully tugged at his heart.

He told us she was a breath of fresh air. Something he really needed after looking at Tsum-Tsum's face all these years-Ow! It's true!

His hand clenched the champagne glass tighter. His head filling with "what if's" and "what could have been's".

I was surprised when he told me he asked her to marry him. He never really talked to me about it before. Guess she really has that charm, doesn't she?

Kiyoomi chugged his drink. That was supposed to be him. He was supposed to be the one dancing with her in front of their friends and family. He was supposed to be the one whispering sweet nothings and 'I love you's' in her ear as they listened to their friends share anecdotes about their love life.

He was supposed to be Osamu Miya. He, Kiyoomi Sakusa, was supposed to be her husband.

Looking at the pair, he knew he was way too late.

He knew, he was a fool to not have married her.

a/n: first piece for Sakusa! i had this lil scenario in my head for a while but wasn't sure who to write, decided it's s good start to one of my favorite boys. hope you like it! Likes, comments and reblogs are so so appreciated <3

honorable mentions: crackfic? fluff, mentions of a fight, 1k, cursing

synopsis: sakusa had a bad day, so you give him a massage.

Sakusa sighs.

It's a sound of contentment; at how your fingers move on his skin, applying just the right amount of pressure on his overly tense muscles, drawing circles with your thumbs.

He doesn't say much, but you know he's enjoying this. Sakusa isn't a man of many words; and even though that's never a problem for you, it's also the reason you fought that morning.

It wasn't anything worth fighting, it was just him being petty. There were times Sakusa could say something that would break your heart, but he would always choose silence when it came to apologizing.

Still, as soon as he stepped into your shared apartment, you knew something was wrong. Not because of anything particular showing on your boyfriends' handsome face- no, Sakusa didn't show his emotions; he was bad at showing the negative ones just as much as any other emotion.

He often looks irritated, at most, today he looks tired. Gaze lidded and lips pressed together slightly, anyone could tell he wasn't over the moon, but not many people could tell how bad -terrible- of a day he was having.

His gaze darts around the room until they find you; you're lying facedown on the couch, face smushed on the edge of a pillow as you bite on your bottom lip.

You don't feel it when your mountain of a boyfriend makes his way to you, the curly-headed boy with heavy steps, don't feel his somber gaze, only softening staring at your face.

You're frowning, phone screen illuminates your knitted brows at whatever you're watching, earphones on your heas giving out just a muffled voice. Sakusa is unaware of the smile settling on his lips as he reaches you.

Muscle memory does him dirty, Sakusa finds himself an inch away from planting a kiss atop your head, but the heavy feeling in his chest reminds him of the fight you had that morning.

"Omi?" You raise your eyes from your phone, as you feel his presence, eyes meeting the tired-looking ones, looking at you afflicted and defeated. You wait, but Sakusa doesn't utter a word, his gaze falling on his hands, adam's apple bobbing with his gulp.

You sigh, bringing yourself upright to face him. You can guess he must've had a hard day, you know he wants to apologize and pull you in his arms to wash the heavy day off, but you also know he's too stubborn and maybe a little scared to do any of that.

So instead, you bring your dainty hand forward to touch his, fingers reaching at his hesitantly. "Hey, Omi."

His hand grasps yours immediately, holding it between his rough ones and squeezing it as if reminding himself- you're still here. "Bad day?" You ask, but you don't need to hear an answer, you can already tell.

He doesn't answer, either, turning his head away from you and refuses to meet your eyes, but it only makes you smile. Sometimes he reminds you a little too much of a little boy.

"'m tired." Sakusa's voice rumbles as he finally gives in. "It's all too much."

You can tell. Sakusa's been in a foul mood for a while now, he's often stressed and frustrated- but he was careful not to show you anything, so you always had to piece together bits and pieces and guess what he was feeling.

"I know," your soft voice assures him, your fingers tracing shapes on his arm and giving him the kind of comfort he craves. "I know, love."

You bite your lip worriedly, eyes wandering over your boyfriend, rolling his neck with a groan; your eyes follow his movements as Sakusa brings his hand to his shoulder, flexing the muscles there uncomfortably.

And just then, an idea befalls you.

"Omi? Omi turn your back." You usher, your fingers grip the hem of his shirt, pulling it off of his curly head as he gives you confused stares, but hesitantly assists you, nonetheless.

"Love, what are you- oh." Sakusa blinks as he feels your fingers graze his skin, you lay your hands on his sculpted muscles, thumbs kneading into his strained back. "Ah."

You can't help a smile creep on your lips as you watch your boyfriends' eyes flutter close, mouth falling slightly agape to the feeling on his back. His back is hard as a rock, you realize, eyes widening when you feel how strained he is.

"Omi?" You call out to the boy who has his eyes closed, burrows furrowed, focusing on the slight burn of his shoulders. "Oh, god." You frown behind him, "you're so tense."

It takes Sakusa a few seconds to answer since he's too busy relishing in your touch. He doesn't say much, but the sigh that leaves his lips is enough to tell you how he feels. "Ah- love just a little low- mmh!"

The circular motions you're doing with your fingers have Sakusa putty beneath your touch, and you can't help but chuckle at him. When your fingers knead into a particularly hard spot, he jumps in his place with a curse muttered under his breath.

"What the hell?" You mumble, trying to relax the area but failing. "Omi, you're too tense! How can you even live like this?"

A chuckle rumbles behind his throat, and he looks up to meet your eyes. "You know, that has a name." He jokes, groaning right after as you push a little too hard on his back.

"Oh, really? And what's it's name?"

"Atsumu."

His answer has you breaking out in laughter, and him never losing his composure only adds to it. Finally, a smile ghosts his lips as you shake your head from side to side. "I'm not joking," he says smiling, "and the one next to it, a little low- mmh, that one-" Sakusa winces, "that's Komori."

"Is it now?" You laugh, pressing your fingers in Komori and make Sakusa take a deep sigh.

You work your touch on his back in silence, the thoughts of that morning still fresh in your minds, but it's only left as a bittersweet taste.

Wanting to dispute the grim thoughts you have and go back to the laughing banter you had with your lover, you speak up, once again. "I wonder where I am."

Sakusa's eyes snap open as he hears your voice, but there's no hesitation in his movements as his much bigger hand closes on yours, pulling it forward and placing it right on his beating heart.

His hand enclosed around yours as he presses yours on his chest, the movement feels way too intimate. He doesn't look at you, his obsidian eyes trained on his feet, but the slight blush of his ears gives away what he's feeling.

It's a silent apology, you realize. As you feel his fastening heart, feeling how nervous, how guilty he is.

You lean forward, just enough that your lips touch the smooth skin of his cheek. I love you, too, you think.

.when you were mine - sakusa kiyoomi

.pairings sakusa kiyoomi x gn!reader

.genre angst, break up, lovers to exes, hurt no comfort

.ongoing | completed

.tw cursing(?)

.wc 2.4k

SUMMARY

Leaving Sakusa Kiyoomi was hard, but staying with him was harder.

Keep me in your arms again, I pine for the warm feeling of home where our limbs laid restlessly in our bed. I long for the touch of your fingertips and the ghost of your breath. I yearn for the mixed laundry in our room, and how you tried your best to keep the colours from mixing. Your efforts were far from being in vain, rather it was my fault for never trying hard enough for you. Trying hard enough for us.

I awaken alone now, with your side of the bed empty, and cold. A naked pillow with no head to call its own. The nights are darker, where the winter season couldn't hold a candle to the hiemal desolation that hibernated in my heart.

The coffee is bitter; dark and too acerbic for my own liking. The taste lingers too. It's pungent, and the scent wafts around the house until I leave it.

It's practically embarrassing to walk the streets without your hand intertwined in mine, I feel discomfited at the fact that I can no longer grab a hold of your hand in order to find sanctuary, the same hand I would grip onto afraid that I would lose you in broad daylight, the same hand that embraced your body every night that we slept, and the same hand that would wipe away your tears in the evening.

Yet it was twilight when you left me. I felt your presence begin to dissipate within the air as I slept for longer, so when the chill of a human's existence or lack thereof, had held me in the night, I woke up: to see nothing on your side.

And it all came flashing back to me, why you had left. Why you had packed your bags, why you cried as you removed most of your belongings into one suitcase.

ー

"You're late home today."

"Yeah."

Pure silence grows in the atmosphere and neither of us speak. You seemed expectant that I would answer you, but I couldn't tell at the time.

"...Do you want to tell me why?"

"Do I have to? I'm tired today."

"Okay. There's food in the fridge if you ever get hungry."

ー

The awkwardness that grew in our relationship may have driven you more and more to leave, and it's my fault for not trying. The effort that I lacked for our relationship had been made up for by you, and it had taken all of your energy alongside it, and quite possibly, your love for me.

I drained you by loving you languidly, I emptied your void by not filling it the way you had wanted me to. I expected you to make all of the first moves, and that you would do all the work for me in this relationship, and that I had to do nothing.

But you said to me that you were fine with getting hurt, so long as it were for me. So why are you leaving now, when you were the one who promised that you would do everything to make me happy, are you tired of me? Have you had enough?

Our solicitous tête-à-têtes had soon enough squandered from the depths of our hearts and eventually reshaped themselves into a mandatory chore made from the top of our heads, maybe to remind one another that there could've been a spark, that maybe our love was salvageable; even though you knew full well I could not respond in the healthy ways we knew I should have.

I've grown to detest the very sight of bookstores, or gardens. They were your favourite date idea and we hadn't been to either one of them together in months. But to my dismay, your favourite library had sent me an email, notifying there was a book yet to be returned, and we had to pay a small fine.

The nostalgia seemed to creep back up into my memory as I took steps closer to return the book Essays of Love that had been contained carefully in the tote bag which you bought me from our uni days.

ー

"I know it's not much, but we're starving students, and I thought this would suit your coat that your mom bought you." You shot a tender smile towards me, as you handed the off white bag with intricate black brushes against the material, that unexpectedly did suit the coat my mother had purchased for me.

"You didn't need to do this." I remember that I had pressed a small kiss against the pads of your knuckles as we stepped closer in proximity in the blistering winters of Tokyo; the neon lights of the building illuminating the features on your face in which I grew accustomed to.

"I know. But I love you."

"Thanks."

ー

"That'll be ¥1000." The local librarian speaks, aggressively typing against the keys of her board, and simultaneously writing swiftly against the yellow pad paper which had notes we both knew would be futile in the future.

Handing her the money, I gave a quick thank you before making my way back home in the dark afternoon of December. Meandering around the town wasted too much time, and the solitude which had consumed my being after your departure soon became an obligation in my life, and there could be no other way to regurgitate these feelings of drab emptiness and neglect. But I finally had time to think to myself for a bit though. As calamitous my mind was, the inhospitable temper of the winter night kept me company and I was numbed to the glacier like climate during my promenade.

I treated you with a manner that seemed perfectly fine to me, but neglectful to you and I became too expectant of your actions, anticipating for you to ask to hold my hand, or to request that I hug you in the night, and that I could pass you the box of tissues beside me; and I thought as though it was enough for you.

It's strenuous to walk around our home when everything is painted with you, when your hairbrush still abides on the edge of the vanity of our my room. When your mismatched socks still dawdle in the hallways and into my vision as I walk up the stairs every passing day after you left, or when your old shirt still situates on your side of the bed just as I had positioned it so.

Once again I yearn for you, just like those nights ago, and the pain comes washing back like a tide, exposing my most vulnerable aspects. The curtains close and I can finally let my bottled up ardour burst, chest heaving, lips trembling with an audible quiver every few seconds. Lachrymose eyes and a runny nose could only be a brief description of the inexpressible emotions bubbling up within my soul.

Sheer agony engulfs itself within me and I lose all senses of sanity as I think of how I've lost you, how you've left me, and how I can never get you back.

ー

"Kiyoomi?" His head had never turned so fast towards the reverberation of your voice. There you stood in your glory, wearing what he knew you would consider "indoor clothes", holding a bag in your arms as well as your keys to the house.

"What are you doing here?" Flicking the tears away and regaining his posture, he looms over you, observing your current state.

You didn't look any better, skin pale, lips chapped and hair disheveled, if anything, you seemed worse than he did, yet you had too much pride in your personality to admit that.

"I've come to collect the rest of my belongings." Sharp and clean was the cut. Enough to slice through Kiyoomi's heart, and you could hear it if you listened closely.

The impending outcome of your relationship had come to its destination, and he deemed it unacceptable, as he tried to grasp you in his clutches whilst you pack away the rest of your belongings, taking Kiyoomi's heart with you.

His countless cries echoed in your shared bedroom, as he attempted to take your clothes back out of the bag you had brought alongside you.

"Just one more day, please, stay with me. And I'll let you go." As heartbreaking as it would be to him, you scoffed, taking his words like a joke, like it was offensive of him to even step near you.

"Stop trying. I'm sick of this, I'm sick of you. Where was all of this six months ago? Why are you acting up now? Stop being selfish and let me go." Yanking your wrist away from him, you zip up the bag bringing the rest of your belongings, ignoring the clenching sensation going wild in your chest.

His countless tries to win you back into his arms for the night had failed to his dismay, and you had vanished into the twilight to a destination he would never figure out. Your relationship together had begun deteriorating the moment you'd granted him anything he wished without wanting something in return, or in this case, his love.

The neglect he'd provided you had only driven you to do more for him, maybe to please him, to make him look your way; but to no avail would he send an ounce of his undivided attention towards you, the love of his life for who knows how long. It was an ongoing cycle, and it wasn't until six months later you'd realise you wasted all of your time and energy on a man who wouldn't exert the same impression just to remind you that he did love you back.

Yet somehow, you knew that no matter how little he had shown you that he'd loved you too, there was a voice in the back of your head that would try to reassure that maybe, truly, he did love you the same way you loved him, but it was just that he struggled. But you'd gotten rid of the voice in that part of your head, you knew it would only hurt you to keep defending Kiyoomi in this empty relationship. Pretending to yourself that some day he'd say those three words back and not just some half assed "Me too" or "Thanks" was ruining you more than staying with him, so maybe leaving was for the better.

Although it was true that Kiyoomi was never an affectionate person in the first place, you'd assumed that he'd changed for the ones that he loves, as any normal person would do, but he would never budge out of his shell, only breaking what was left of your heart. His introversion seemed to keep up for three or more years, or however long it was the two of you dated, he'd never keep track as he deemed anniversaries to be "unnecessarily difficult to plan".

So moving on from him would be the best decision, even though you'd loved him since you were 17, and you had known no better, than to love Sakusa Kiyoomi, Itachiyama's Ace Spiker. Even though it was going to hurt, and the process would be long and hard, you knew it'd be for the better and the both of you would grow up to be happier people. After all, you're only 23.

"Goodbye, Kiyoomi. I-" It was a growing habit to always say 'I love you' before departing from him, maybe to encourage him to say it back. Although looking at where you are right now, you knew it'd be best not to say anything at all, just to save yourselves the pain.

He's fumbling through his words, before he finally stammers. "I lo-love you."

It was enough to make you stop in your tracks, but it could not fully equate to the agonising memories where you'd wait hours and hours every day just to make sure he got home safe. It could not amount to the times you had wasted to put an effort into the relationship only for him to hand back a yawn alongside a wave of his hand saying, 'Not today.' None of it could measure to the countless dates, movies, dinners he had missed, using the excuse of his practice.

You were never an important priority of his in the first place, and it finally came to be that you would never be a priority of his in the future. Staying with him for longer would only be a constant reminder of how little he tried between the two of you, and it would just be a shot to your ego at this point.

"Please say something." His voice is quiet and hoarse, barely trembling out the syllables that you could only jusy decipher. He attempts to close thr gap between the two of you, stepping closer with his hands reached out to grab yours, and you walk further back, shaking your head, shattering his heart on impact.

"No." You firmly reply. "I'm sick of waiting, I'm tired of having to lie to myself and everybody else about how you're doing when the last time I've been able to check, you would only wave me off and say 'night'. What the hell is that, Kiyoomi?" Your words shoot towards him like a shot of a new venom, and his body freezes, unprepared for your next response. "I don't want this anymore."

He shakes his head in refusal, not ready to face the facts. "Don't say it," he hushes you, "please, don't say anything. Just stay with me, I'll be better. I know I will."

The newfound urge to suddenly plead you back into his life almost convinces you to retract your statement, and just go back to him. Go back to staying in the quiet, lonely home, where you would spend most days wondering if Kiyoomi was even going to be back today. However, you shake your head again, and give him a pitiful smile, ready to crush his heart with your bare hands and let the remnants crumble for him to clean up.

"I don't want you, Kiyoomi. So just let me leave." You try your hardest to ignore the collapse in his expression as he finally hears your farewell. Taking the bag you had filled with the rest of your stuff, you walk away from Kiyoomi, with his cracked sobs in the background begging you to stay.

It's hard to miss the wails of the man you once loved when it's thrown right at your face, and you no longer have an obligation to wipe his tears away. The sobs get fainter and fainter, and you take a breath of relief as you finally feel free from the shackles that love had kept you under.

a/n hi lol this was kinda sitting in my drafts so i just like did what i could im sorry for the half assed ending im so tired these days :(( and its been like months since ive been on this account

~This is a repost from my old blog~

SᴀᴋᴜAᴛsᴜ

ғ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs ➪ ᴠᴇʀʏ ʙʀɪᴇғ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴀ ᴘᴜɴɪsʜᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪɴ sᴜɴᴀs, ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴɪᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ғʟᴜғғʏ <3

|ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2|

ɪ ᴍɪss ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ </3

he's so brat coded

I swear I don't just draw Sakusa, I've just been in a mood lately.

shout out to my computer for trying to correct Kiyoomi to "gloomily". close enough, i guess.

the amount of effort i put into writing the msby 15 backwards only to remember afterwards that i could just flip the canvas. *sighs heavily* it's fine. im not mad about it.

sigh

My hair is getting too long so it's been living in this silly little ponytail and it made me want to draw college era Kiyoomi, studying for finals and his hair is too long so he tied it back.