I Am Growing Every Day - Tumblr Posts

i think one of the best parts of a good relationship (platonic or romantic or familial or cosmic) is recognizing that all we can do is respect and love each other

aug26 i had a really good day today :3

i felt glum for a while— though my day did start with a trip to the zoo,, so i feel silly to call myself glum /i love every emotion/

mellie and i took a long nap mid afternoon, from about 2-4. we slept opposite so it wouldn’t feel like we were bedtime sleeping.

i mealish prepped rlly good stuff for the week, like hummus, korean cucumber, tri-color quinoa, brown rice, baked chickpeas— and more! it felt rlly good to be proactive about fueling myself rlly well. healing and growing and reaping all the benefits- finally. contentment !

while i cooked, my mom was in headphone land (childhood term :3), bopping her head to the music she was working on. mink sat upstairs talking with her momma- lovely lovely lady :3. lovely ladies!

now i’m wrapping up my friday with a spotify dj sesh and skin care/self care. moisturizing and massaging and thanking my self for getting me through this day and every day. it gives me time to reflect on the day- what i can do to make tomorrow equally if not better (worse would be okay, too).

thinking of all the highlights, all the people who helped me in some way. my brother, who is showing mink and i his favorite anime currently. my mom, who told me excitedly about red pavers she got to nab for our backyard- which she works very very hard on. my mellie- who is so patient and so kind. for her helping me shell the chickpeas, laying opposite on the bed talking about our emotions that day, who grabs my glass of water, the charger, the purse (very forgetful, i am ;) )

so happy that this was the saddest day i’ve felt in so long. to finally be able to breathe through the sadness. i am so grateful that i get to continue changing and growing. i cannot wait for my future.

trying out longer style posts as well :) let me know if it’s good or too much /gen

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I spent the afternoon in the yard, blowing dandelions.

My brother was chopping them all down later in the day, along with all of the grass. The grass was fine, plain and not naturally occurring in its species.

The dandelion meant more to me. They were relentless and animate. They were host to an entire ecosystem; including humans should they care to them.

When I am having days that are unending and all consuming. Days where I feel too much in the center of it’s purpose, I run to the dandelions. I let them prickle at my legs. An entire world of pollinators, uninvolved with my previous routine. I am home here, too.

I couldn’t imagine losing them so quickly, but they are far more powerful than us. “Weeds.” They are far from it. What distinguishes wanted and unwanted? They cannot provide an answer we are looking for. It does not exist there. They will grow back. Their existence will be a pain to some, but a relief to others; to me.

Thank you for returning, I will say. Thank you for not giving up. They will not respond, and they do not need to. I am asking more of myself, now.

More than that, I could not stomach the idea of all of those wishes being torn down. Being taken away. I needed to finish its life cycle for it, now it has become human.

Each flower becomes a new hope. I am safe, I say. I am loved, I say. I am capable, I say. Halfway through the herd, I begin to believe myself. I am wanted here, I say. I am taking part in a larger process, I say. I can fulfill myself, I say.

And the seeds travel, they soar. Covering new parts of yard, sailing over fence lines, tucking themselves within other mature plants.

They do not know they will be forced to mourn later, there is too much time to celebrate.