I Dont Matter. - Tumblr Posts

Having another self hatred night again tonight. Been going on for a couple days/nights straight. Though at this point I’m not sure if it could be classified as an event or just my natural state. I don’t know anymore. I can’t do anything without some form of harassment from some sources or another. I have no luck anywhere. I keep meeting people and liking them but it’s so clear that they don’t feel the same. It seems like a stupid thing to complain about I know. And I do like to be alone, but I also get lonely. More and more lately. And it’s hard having everyone always be against me. Not having anyone care about me or even want me around. Valued by no one. Loved by no one. Or even fucking liked. I hate being “nobodies type”. Worthless. Ugly. Unlovable. Never being anyone’s first choice or choice at all. Too much of a shitty person with a bad personality. Too ugly. Too worthless. Too not good enough to be loved by anyone...with the entire world being so clearly out of my league there’s no hope in even trying. I hate myself. I hate being me. And death is the only way to stop being me...I can only hope that I don’t live to see 2025. Ideally not even my birthday this year. I truly can’t do this anymore....I know it’s a stupid thing to complain about. And I know no one cares about me or my rants. Maybe that’s part of the reason here is a good place to type all of it out. Almost no one is going to read it. Those that do will skim it at best. Disregard it most likely. I have one or two random people that will just hit like on it just because they do that with all my posts for no reason. Then it will be buried by others. Like screaming into the void. Though maybe that will only make me feel lonelier...

I never feel right

I have too much energy

I'm exhausted

I eat too much

I want to eat more

I need to scream

I will die if I have to make any noise

I need to kick something

I need to be hugged and cradled and read little pointless affirmations

I need to feel right

I need to die

I need to stay alive long enough to finish school

I need to feel

Feeling is painful

I am a contradiction

I hate myself

I hate life

I don't want to be alive anymore

Please help

Somebody please rip the skin off my body

Somebody tell me it will be ok

Somebody cuddle me and keep me warm

Somebody burn me alive

I can't

Please help