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PENNY LOVE THIS IS SO CUTE

(⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) ⠀ ── ⠀ STARGAZING !

pairing. nishimura riki x gn!reader genre. fluff, nonidol au, one sided attraction word count. O.4k warnings. not proofread penny speaks! i like the stars :(

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the harsh blades of grass tickled your skin, causing you to squirm in discomfort. your arms would cross, uncross, you’d sit up, lay back down, scratch your arms in annoyance — you just couldn’t find the right position. you faulted yourself for not bringing a sweater, but it was only sundown when you and riki had arrived to an open field to bask in each other’s presence and enjoy a picnic he had asked his hyungs to arrange for the both of you. it was dark now, the both of you gazing at the stars up above.

he took note of how you wouldn’t sit still beside him. he had already packed away the picnic blanket, but he didn’t want to see you grow irritated because of the grass. so, the only choice was to give you his jacket.

he had taken it off briefly and left it in his lap, and it wasn’t like he was going to wear it again or lay on the grass, so he passed it to you, letting you take it and wear it. it was enormous on you, considering how much riki loved oversized clothes, the leather engulfing you entirely. it was cozy, though, and it allowed you to lay back on the grass with no problem.

the silence was comfortable, something that you both grew accustomed to in your time of being friends. but it was cut short when you decided to speak.

“do you think we’re friends in every universe?” you questioned, your eyes gazing at the beautiful stars in awe, watching how they glowed against the dark sky.

the view was gorgeous, but it wasn’t the view riki was admiring. his focus was on you, the only view he’d love to have for the next years to come. he could see the way your eyes gleamed, absolutely marveled by how the moonlight cascaded down on you. if you were the sky, he would be the stars, making sure every single one of them shined as bright as they could, just for you.

it took a bit for him to reply to your question, but the answer was a no brainer — of course he believed you two would be friends in every universe. he even hoped you’d both be something more… but he can’t be too greedy. he already loves having you as a friend.

his eyes darted away from you the moment he saw you glance up at him, not catching the way he stared at you.

“yeah.. i think we’re friends in every universe, too.” he replied, peering up at the illuminated sky.

his reply caused you to break out into a shy grin, your eyes studying the stars once again, enjoying the pleasant silence that fell upon the both of you once more.

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© kissofhoon, 2024

Bucky and his Napping Adventures

For @ simp

Part of @marveltrumpshate

taehyung’s ending ment (201010)

I love you ♡ (trans)

Throughout the entire drama, Dongsik's smiles are a mask or a shield. Here, it feels like the soft breeze and welcome quietness that comes with the end of a storm.

i want to talk about this scene, how the ambient noise/birdsong is the only background audio, music intentionally absent to make the viewer focus and feel the weight of it (the same choice was made for the end of the handcuff scene earlier in the episode where you can hear juwon’s shaky breaths), juwon’s small sigh relevant in how his shoulders rise and fall right before dongsik’s smile, the quietness during dongsik’s slow smile, the framing of it as if we are taking it in from juwon’s eyes….. anyone else feel shy watching this like you’re intruding? lmao

an incomplete collection of tweets i consider to be short poems

I tried Procreate dreams finally

It’s. Okay… needs a lot of work

Have a bit of Sonknux angst I did around 2 am

Wells Fargo, the second largest U.S. bank by number of branches, just launched an ad that depicts two women practicing sign language before they meet the deaf child they plan to adopt.

In other words: *four hundred sobbing emojis and heart emojis in succession*

hey dude im on Loves You island and all of your friends are here too. what time are u planning on getting here? we are gonna order pizza

The Angry Lizard Thing

Summary: The Bohemian Rhapsody premiere is tomorrow night, and you can’t help but wonder if the writing you did for the script was good enough. But Rami, as well as someone rather unexpected, is there to comfort you.

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none :) just a bit of swearing i hope that’s okey

A/N: I literally have no clue where I wanted to go with this it’s lowkey Garbage but pls enjoy anyway! trash writing is better than no writing amirite

Tomorrow was the big day.

After months, no, years of hard work, the time had finally arrived. Bohemian Rhapsody was premiering in under twenty-four hours.

To say you were nervous was a major understatement.

You sat in bed, staring blankly at your bent knees forming a roundish mountain shape under the covers. You kept thinking about different scenes you weren’t completely happy with. What if you had gotten Freddie to say something different? Would he have really said what you had written, and re-written, and re-written again in the script?

If only you could’ve just talked to Freddie yourself. Maybe you wouldn’t have been this nervous.

A quiet laugh coming from the entrance to your room snapped you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see your boyfriend, Rami, gazing at you in amusement.

“What?” You asked, pulling the quilt closer around yourself. He shook his head as he crawled in the bed beside you.

“I asked you a question,” Rami answered, wrapping his arms around you without hesitation. It was second nature to him now that you had been dating for almost a year. “Twice actually. But you stayed sitting like that… just kind of in a daze. Everything okay?”

Keep reading

Tears of Glass & Marble

Artist!Hyunjin x cursed statue!fem reader

Words: 11.4k

Genre/theme: non idol!au, fantasy, reincarnation, smut (MDNI 18+)

Warnings: use of Y/n, blood, Major Character Death (don’t worry he’s okay tho), angst with a happy ending, pet names (mi amor, muse), body worship (they’re in love your honor), reunion? sex, unprotected sex (👀👎), oral (f receiving), praise, creampie

**The lovelies in the poll have spoken, so eat well babes thank you for your input 🫶🏻💗 It got kinda long but this shit is soft as hell 🤭 got me all blushing and teary eyed at some points 🫣 Please check out my other fics and leave any and all feedback, I love to hear it! 🫰🏻 This is not meant to represent any persons in real life and is a work of fiction. Do not repost or translate ©jagibangbangchan**

Ari’s masterlist

Time had an interesting way of shifting one’s perspective on life, and the only thing Y/n had left was an excess amount of time. Fate had taken everything from her and forced on her an existence of solitude and near insanity. Funny then that fate would turn around, with enough time, just to give everything back.

Somewhere in the distant past

Once in her life, she’d been immensely happy. A successful sculptor, often hired by the wealthiest of society, she was a master of carving and shaping marble into the softest form with the most incredibly subtle detail. Her talents were renowned throughout the highest houses, and once she had even been honored to capture in sculpture the form of someone of royal status.

With the commissions she made from these art works, she lived comfortably with the love that fate had granted her. Hyunjin, an ethereally beautiful man that possessed an exquisite talent for painting, his portraits and painted landscapes covering the walls of their shared home. He was less inclined to sell many of his personal paintings, but did profit from his talent by creating portraits for the same wealthy families that hired her.

However, one unexpected event can shatter even the most serene and comfortable life, a fact Y/n discovered the day her reputation brought her a new wealthy client, the day she rejected the commission of the rich man who would tear apart her world.

Hyunjin had left early in the morning to meet with a wealthy madam that wished to commission a portrait from him. Not expecting any company, Y/n had settled into a relaxing day in her study, smoothing over the rough edges of the current sculpture she worked on. A harsh banging on her door was followed by the sound of it crashing back on its hinges, startling her terribly.

Lord Choi Seongsu was not a man to be taken lightly, his wealth and power built on fear and blood money. He stormed into her study, demanding that she create a sculpture of him for his family manor. With a hand over her heart to calm herself, Y/n stepped off her ladder and bowed, asking for more details of what he was looking for. He was insulting and abrasive, belittling her skills as an artist and her life’s purpose as a woman. She held her tongue, aware that she was in the presence of someone of higher standing, but he was angering her more with every word he spoke. He finally gave her the information she needed, but when told how much time it would take and how much it would cost, he became belligerent.

Y/n reeled as he slapped her across the face, falling back against her sculpture, rocking it on the stand. Lord Choi attempted to grab her, but she pushed him off roughly, running into another room while he staggered and slammed the door behind her, locking it quickly.

‘Come back, you bitch! You think you can just demand that kind of money from me?!’

‘Go away! I have friends in the high families, they’ll find you if anything happens to me!’

Y/n’s voice trembled as she yelled, wishing with everything in her that Hyunjin was there with her. But her love wasn’t home so there was no one to help her until the man left.

Lord Choi was silent at her words, psychotically fuming but also knowing there was a chance she was right. He needed to do some checking on her reputation, but a twisted smile crossed his face as he decided her fate now rested in the hands of someone more sinister than himself.

Y/n didn’t hear anything else from the other side of the door, except the sound of retreating footsteps and an eerie silence. Too frightened to leave the room in case he was still waiting in her study, she curled into a chair and held herself tightly as she quietly cried.

Hours later, Hyunjin returned to a heavy silence in the house, an uneasy feeling stirring in his gut.

‘Mi amor? Where are you?’

He walked into her study, noticing her current work was askew on it’s pedestal, a smattering of supplies dropped across the floor like someone had bumped the table. He heard a muffled cry from behind the bedroom door, turning to it quickly but finding it locked when he grabbed the handle.

‘Y/n, are you in there? What’s wrong, mi amor?’

Y/n was flooded with immense relief at the sound of Hyunjin’s voice. Standing and ripping open the door, she threw herself into his arms, taking a shaky breath as he immediately hugged her back tightly.

‘What happened? Are you alright?’

Y/n shook her head against his chest, his hand coming up to hold the back of her head gently.

‘No, I had a rather frightening visit earlier from a potential client named Lord Choi. I had to threaten him with our wealthy friends to get him to leave me alone, as he grew very upset about the cost of my labor.’

Hyunjin looked down at her, shocked and angry that someone would treat her like that. He’d seen several rich assholes get all up tight about how much she commissioned for her artwork, but he’d never heard of any of them becoming violent, to the point that she would lock herself in another room. Sliding his hand into her hair, he leaned her head back and saw her cheek was beginning to bruise. Clenching his jaw, he fumed at the audacity.

‘He hurt you? How fucking dare he touch you at all, inexcusably with violence.’

Y/n shook her head at him sadly, reaching up to hold the wrist of his hand laced through her hair.

‘As much as your anger warms my heart, there’s nothing to be done, love. We have no status against him, and his wealth would silence us, if he doesn’t do it himself…’

He pulled her against his chest again and held her tighter, rubbing her back and shoulders soothingly.

‘I’m sorry, mi amor, the rich are a bane on this world. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help.’

‘They are a bane that keeps us housed, my Jin, and you are here now, that’s all that matters.’

They held each other in comforting silence for a moment before Hyunjin leaned back, cupping her bruised cheek so tenderly as he pulled her into a soft kiss. Y/n melted into his achingly familiar lips, every fear gone from her and everything right with her universe again.

They retired for a quiet night, Hyunjin luring her into his charms until she was a dazed, panting mess where she was spread beneath him. After he’d replaced every fear she’d had with a pleasure only he could provide, she fell asleep in Hyunjin’s arms, unaware that it would be the last loving moment they would share for several lifetimes.

Spells and curse-craft were taboo subjects among those in everyday life, but they were a hidden dark tool of the wealthy and elite, the arcane and supernatural simply another way for them to achieve whatever they desire.

Lord Choi was one who exploited such powers, a curse user often being sent from his home into the homes of his enemies. His reasons were petty, anyone who disagreed with him, rich or poor, became any enemy worthy of destroying.

After leaving Y/n’s study, he’d immediately returned to his manor to locate the sinister curse-user in his employ. The shadowy figure found him first, seeming to sense his master’s intent.

‘You seek me, my lord?’

‘Yes, I have an urgent job for you.’

The gaunt man bowed, motioning to walk with him as he relayed his instructions.

‘The woman must suffer before she alerts someone who might defend her. A cruel irony in her fate feels appropriate. No miserable artist, a woman at that, can speak to me with such disrespect. I will erase her very name from history if I have to, even the wealthiest of her friends will have a price they’re willing to accept to forget her. If anyone interferes with your duties, kill them.’

‘A cruel irony, my lord? She is a sculptor, correct?’

The curse user smiled cruelly when Lord Choi nodded.

‘I have the perfect fate for her, my lord, leave it to me.’

Many times through the years did Y/n think back on this day, a day that started so normal and ended in such tragedy.

Laying in Hyunjin’s arms still as they peacefully slept, both were unaware of the same shadowed figure that stalked the halls of their cozy home.

He lay the groundwork for his curse the moment he entered the house, taking inspiration from the numerous sculpted works displayed around the lower floors. Ascending the stairs as quietly as he could, the curse-user froze at the very top when a loose board protested loudly under his weight. He listened for a moment, his breath held as he waited to hear any movement. Nothing stirred, so he relaxed minutely and continued his journey towards his destination, the curse layering the upper floor as well.

Hyunjin wasn’t sure what woke him, his eyes fluttering open to the picture of her bathed in moonlight, naked in his arms as though she were made to be there. He captured the sight for a moment, committing it to memory and hoping he could successfully paint it later, though he doubted the warm feeling would be the same.

Suddenly parched, he gently extracted himself from around her, stretching with a quiet sigh as he moved to open the door and get a drink of water.

Startled, both men froze at the sight of the other. Hyunjin’s blood ran cold to see the dark figure in his house, immediately connecting the dots that this is what woke him. The curse-user acted on instinct from where he’d crouched in front of the door, remembering his master’s orders to eliminate anyone who interfered with him cursing the sculptor.

He swiftly stood, clamping one hand over Hyunjin’s mouth as he pushed him against the hallway wall, drawing a long blade from his belt and stabbing it sickeningly upward into Hyunjin’s heart.

Pain seared through Hyunjin’s chest, with no time to react he was powerless as he choked a gurgled yell against the attacker’s hand. His head rapidly grew fuzzy, his arms losing their strength faster than he could believe.

No…what is this? Am I…dying? No! Y/n, please wake up!

All of this rang through Hyunjin’s head as he beat weakly against the curse-user’s hold, but no words left his mouth, the hand still clamped firmly around his jaw. He could feel the warmth of his blood running down his side and leg, his breathing growing shorter as he slowly lost the strength to stand.

Sliding him down the wall until he was sat, the curse-user sneered at Hyunjin as he saw the fight leaving his limbs.

‘Not easy to fight back as you bleed to death, is it boy? Don’t worry, I’m not here to kill your girl, no…she’s going to live for a long, long time. Maybe then she’ll learn not to disrespect those who are above her.’

His hissed words were heard as though Hyunjin were underwater, his head lolling to the side against the grip over his mouth, using the last of the strength he could feel leaving his body to gaze at her still sleeping form. Tears ran from his eyes as he etched the image of her so peaceful into his mind for the last time. Darkness clouded the edges of his vision, his last thought echoing through time.

Anywhere in forever, mi amor…I will find you again.

Y/n shifted awake as her back grew cold, opening her eyes as she realized Hyunjin was no longer in the bed behind her. Sitting up, she looked around but couldn’t see him in the room either.

‘Hyunjin? My love?’

When no response came from him, she draped herself in the sheet and moved to get out of the bed. The moment her feet touched the cold floor, terror shot through her entire being. Fear that felt so instinctual her skin seemed to crawl with it, choking her breath, and causing her heart to hammer wildly beneath her ribcage.

At first she thought that same fear had frozen her legs and kept her from moving, but with another attempt to step toward her bedroom door, Y/n started to panic when her legs were unmoving from the knee down. She couldn’t wiggle her toes, and she tried to convince herself that it was a trick of the light that made her feet look as pale as marble.

‘Hyunjin? Jin, please! Where are you?’

Her cries echoed through the empty house, still no response coming from him anywhere. A deadening feeling began climbing it’s way past her knees, Y/n looked down in horror as the sheet around her thighs melded to her skin, turning into a flawless swath of silky marble. The realization that she was being cursed came with a flood of conflicting emotions; Where was Hyunjin? Who was cursing her? Was she going to die?

She thought she should be crying, but she’d heard stories from the rich people that she’d worked for and she knew only the wealthy would send a curse-user after someone, and so instead she was filled with rage.

The squeak of the bedroom door had her looking up, hope in her eyes to see Hyunjin standing there, ready to help her as the deadening feeling traveled farther up past her hips and to her waist.

Luckily she couldn’t feel her stomach anymore as it turned to the same stone as her legs, or it would have lurched at the sight of the stooped and shadowy figure that stood before her instead of her love. She knew in the back of her mind that he was the one responsible for cursing her. Hatred, frustration, fear, and rage all crossed her face, her mouth trying to open as she prepared to unleash hell in her words, but suddenly she could no longer speak. Forget speaking, she could no longer breathe…

‘What’s the matter, woman, curse got your tongue?’

Craning her neck to look down as much as she could, Y/n realized the dead feeling had spread through her arms and all the way to her shoulders. Draped elegantly in her bedsheet, she was now almost completely turned to stone.

This can’t be happening…why is this happening? Please, Jin, where the hell are you?

Looking back up at the intruder, only desperation filled her eyes now as she begged for anything. Giving into her silent plea, the curse-user cruelly granted her one last sight before she was frozen forever.

Stepping to the side, Y/n felt her heart shatter, the pieces tearing her from the inside as he revealed the slumped form of Hyunjin behind him. Sitting unmoving against the wall in a pool of his own blood, she could see no movement or breath from him, the image of his glassy, lifeless eyes turned to her burning itself into her memory for eternity.

NO! Hyunjin, my love, no!

In her mind, she screamed and cried, thrashed and tore at her hair. It was impossible, there was no way…no way that Hyunjin was dead. Their love was infinite, he’d promised her forever, how could the universe take him from her like this?

On the outside, she could only manage the tortured expression of lost love, and a single tear that managed to escape. It clung to the edge of her eye, never falling as it froze, numbness spreading over her entire body as she became a perfect marble statue. She could only watch as the intruder approached her then, whispering as though it was a great secret only she could know.

‘You really should have known better than to disrespect someone like Lord Choi. He sends his regards and hopes that you enjoy the rest of your lonely eternity.’

Modern Day

Y/n discovered that eternity held such darkness. Unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to do anything but spiral in the confines of her mind. Every stage of grief racked her frozen body, her emotions and memories her only solace and the prison that she could never escape from.

Years passed her by and time flowed around her and through her like the wind through a field of grass. She lost sense of what exact year it was, which museum or art school she was transported too and forced to be studied, which people were marveling at her craftsmanship without knowing the darkness of her secret.

The curse didn’t allow her to sleep the same way humans might, her mind stuck in an endless loop, her only respite being a waking dream that allowed her to relive her memories. After several hundred years of this endless cycle she had grown numb to the sharpest edges of her pain, even the saddest of memories sparking a twisted sense of comfort.

She would surface every so often to see if she’d landed somewhere interesting and learn what time period it was, but being a statue was rather boring and in five hundred years, nowhere she’d woken up had seemed very exciting for very long.

So she lived in her memories, the sight of Hyunjin still haunting her even in waking moments. No matter how much she forced herself to relive the happy or soft memories of him, they were always shattered by the image of his lifeless eyes.

The latest waking dream she found herself in was the worst in a long while. The dream started with that horrible night, the guilt she felt over not hearing him die manifesting in the imagined sounds of Hyunjin’s rasped breathing surrounding her.

‘Please…mi amor…help me.’

Y/n was used to the panic now, almost relieved to see him in such detail as she knew she still remembered him, even if his memory still scarred her. She was not accustomed, however, to when the memory changed.

Suddenly, Hyunjin stood from his pool of blood, standing before her in an instant, gripping her jaw in his bloody hand as he whispered intensely.

‘I can see you, mi amor…wake up!’

Y/n had never woken into the current time so quickly. Like jolting from a nightmare, and though she couldn’t feel her heartbeat, she knew it would’ve been hammering after a dream like that. Never before had it changed, he’d never moved, and he’d never spoken to her like he was right in front of her.

She gazed around as much as she could, considering her eyes couldn’t move, to try and distract her from her fear and realized she was in a different place from the last time she’d woken up.

The ceiling was vaulted, high above the large room that was filled with the evening sun as it streaked through the wall of windows running along one side. The soft marble and tiled walls glowed with warm light, a serene quiet filling the air around the array of other statues and sculptures positioned throughout the space.

She was displayed on a higher pedestal than she was used to, her gaze scanning the entirety of the room from her vantage point. There were velvet ropes around her pedestal, a placard standing near her that she assumed held a description of her exhibit.

A museum. Have I finally made the classics?

Y/n mused at her small joke, scanning the room again to acquaint herself. She almost forgot about her fear entirely as she realized she recognized the other statues that stood in the room around her. Every single one was carved into her very muscle memory as she’d spent hours upon hours perfecting the details of each piece. They were hers. The entire exhibit, each statue and its placard, was dedicated to her…

Wow…perhaps I should have been awake. It seems someone has curated my life’s work. I suppose I have made the classics then.

Y/n was astonished. She’d discovered that a few years after he cursed her, Lord Choi had gone around to the wealthy families that had commissioned her work and paid to convince them to forget her name. He tried everything in his power to erase her from history, simply because she’d offered him a price he disagreed with.

However, she could see now that he had failed. Someone remembered her, and if statues could weep, she would with tears of near joy.

She felt content in this space in a way she hadn’t felt anywhere else, being surrounded by her work again almost feeling like she was being brought home. The only differences were that she hadn’t been part of the exhibit to start, and when she originally sculpted the works in that room, Hyunjin was with her through it all. Even this many years later, the memory of him often still hurt like the first day.

Before she could begin to wallow into her past again, Y/n was drawn to the soft sound of footsteps wandering through the exhibit. Despite how boring immortality could be, she always loved to see a person when she first woke up, eager to spot the evolution of fashion and technology. Slowly snaking through the different statues, stopping occasionally to read an inscription, a tall, ethereal man with dark hair approached her.

Impossible.

Y/n was sure the wave of shock that coursed through her was strong enough to crack the marble she was made of.

No…that’s impossible.

She could live and die a million lifetimes, but Y/n knew she would recognize his silhouette in any universe. The angle of his nose, the curve of his plump lips, his long and delicate hands that only crafted beauty and pleasure.

I saw him dead…it’s. not. possible.

His features were carved into her heart more permanently than any statue of marble. As the man stopped in front of her, reading her description before backing up slightly to admire her in full, Y/n felt her heart beat for the first time since the day he died, the face of her lost love gazing up at her.

Hyunjin?

Hyunjin honestly couldn’t tell you why he’d suddenly decided to study the art of sculpting. He was a painter, not a sculptor, and while of course he appreciated other forms of art, even his best friend Seungmin had said his sudden switch-up was strange.

Truthfully, he’d noticed a flyer on the subway for the opening of a new sculpture exhibit, a finally completed dedication to an unknown artist of renowned talent. The way the style itched at his brain intrigued him, like seeing the face of someone you recognized from a dream. Figuring it wouldn’t hurt to just visit and see what it was about, on his next free day, he texted Seungmin about his plans in case anyone was looking for him, and then caught the subway across town to the museum.

The moment he set foot into the exhibit’s room, something heavy washed over him. Hyunjin knew the feeling of deja vu well, he’d found himself experiencing it many times as he pursued his art career, but this was deja vu so severe he had to lean against the wall for a moment.

What the hell?

He shook his head slightly to clear it, moving more slowly as he weaved through the different statues on display. Each one had a plaque that told the story of the aristocrat or royal-someone that the statue depicted. Beneath each familial description was the estimated date for when the statue was completed. A number on the pedestal of each one showed Hyunjin the chronological order of the artists work, and as he walked them in ascending order, he still carried the feeling of deja vu.

He knew he’d never seen this exhibit before, it had just opened, and yet every single one of the statues sparked a feeling of familiarity. None of the placards held the name of the artist, and as he reached the last date marked statue, he paused at the sight of a larger placard than the others.

The Last Work of the Artist Unknown

This exhibit is a sad testament to the savageness that is the flow of time. Through a hundred years, our curators have found these marvelous works of art that showed the masterful touch of the same artist. A signature style and eye for detail, this collection portrays the beautiful journey of one who’s name has been lost to history.

The final statue before you is the most recent dated work of this talented individual, and it seems also their last work. The peak of their craft is shown in the smooth embellishments and hyper-realistic expression carved into her beautiful face. Unlike the other commissioned pieces, however, this piece has no story. She is as unknown as the artist who carved her, and no matter how we wish to erase the torment from her face, the only solace we can grant her is that even unknown, she and her creator will be remembered.

A deep sadness filled him as he read the inscription, unknown regret and longing in his mind of a time he’d never known.

Stepping back with a shaky breath, Hyunjin finally looked up at the statue before him.

Stunned.

He was utterly and completely stunned.

Hyunjin had seen many paintings, photographs, and sculptures that could astonish even the toughest art critic, but he knew somewhere deeper than his heart, down to his soul he knew that she was the most beautiful work of art he had ever witnessed.

He gaped at her in awe, the delicate craft that shaped her showing in the curves of her figure, the soft look of the marble sheet as it draped across her body filling Hyunjin with a deep longing to pull it from her and feel her warm skin.

That shocked Hyunjin back to reality slightly as he thought, warm skin? Why would I think that about a statue?, looking at her more intensely as his eyes trailed up to her face. He again felt a hint of recognition, like he’d seen her face in a forgotten dream, and he was suddenly floored by sharp grief at the tortured expression she carried.

An image flashed through his head, a woman laying naked in a white bed as moonlight shone across her sleeping form, pain following it as he winced at the sudden ringing in his ear.

Shaking his head again, Hyunjin’s mind was swirling with a dizzying mixture of emotions and a growing headache. Looking up at her cautiously again, he still carried the heavy feeling of grief, but decided he needed to sleep off his impending headache before he tried to think any more.

Casting a longing glance at her one more time, he slowly made his way out of the museum, determined to learn more about her and the exhibit, and unable to fight a dragging feeling as though he were leaving something behind.

Neither of them slept very much that night.

Not that Y/n actually slept, but now she was fully aware, determined to watch for him to return, hope for him to return. At this point she didn’t care how it had happened, simply to have seen him alive was a balm on her broken heart. Her excitement was only sobered by the thought that he would never return to the exhibit again, but she found herself stubbornly ignoring that thought as her field of view stayed alert on the entrance to the exhibit.

Hyunjin didn’t sleep for a very different reason. After he made it back to his apartment, he completely ignored Seungmin and secluded himself in his room to research the exhibit. Hours of staring at his screen gave him little more than the information he could already find while at the museum.

The only new thing he’d learned was the name of the man who curated the final stages of the collection, and who’d sponsored the exhibit at the museum, a wealthy business man named Choi Jongho.

Growing frustrated, he shut his laptop down and rubbed his eyes with a groan, his headache really not helped by all of his screen exposure. Hands still pressed against his eyes, Hyunjin’s mind wandered over the heavy feeling of familiarity he felt throughout the exhibit. Again the memory of the sleeping woman flashes through his mind, his confusion only adding to the growing pressure in his head.

Heaving a sigh, Hyunjin left his room to eat a midnight snack, taking two pain meds to try and sleep through the pulsing behind his eyes. As he settled into his bed finally, his unconsciousness came quickly, his sleep anything but restful.

Hyunjin had never been one that remembered his dreams, though he knew he had them often, but the moment his eyes closed, he was trapped in the most vivid dreams he’d ever experienced.

A beautiful woman running ahead of him in a vast field of flowers, her hand stretched back to him as he reached for her. Catching her and rolling through the grass as her laughter rang through the air.

The cold biting against his cheeks, his arms wrapped around the same woman under a large blanket, the two of them gazing at a sky filled with more stars than could be seen today as she intertwined their hands.

Her gorgeous face again, laughing hysterically at him as she smeared oil on his cheeks, a startled gasp followed by more laughter coming from her as he responded by flinging paint through her hair.

A breathed moan echoed in his head as he saw her spread beneath him in soft pleasure, her hair a messy halo against his pillow as he made love to her.

Hyunjin jolted awake from the last dream, chest heaving and covered in a thin sheen of sweat as he panted. The tightness in his gut said he was embarrassingly affected by the phantom feeling of her under him, taking a few seconds to collect himself before he slipped into his bathroom for a cold shower.

He leaned his head against the tiles as he stood under the spray, remembering each dream for the first time in his life. Why was he having such vivid dreams of a woman he didn’t know? It carried a sense of familiarity with it that he realized was similar to the feeling in the exhibit, shocked at his next realization that he did recognize the woman. The statue, the unknown artist’s final work, depicted the woman that now filled his dreams. Maybe he did know her?

Hyunjin shook his head at his own ridiculousness. How could you know her, pabo, her statue is five hundred years old. He climbed out of his shower, dried off slowly, and returned to his bed as though on auto pilot, his mind still confused and anxious.

He tossed and turned for the rest of the night, only dozing until he heard the sounds of Seungmin shuffling around in the living room. Dragging himself from his bed, he slipped on a hoodie and met Seungmin in the kitchen where he was preparing coffee.

Seungmin chuckled at the sight of a sleep-deprived Hyunjin, pulling down another mug without him having to ask.

“You look like shit. What happened, did you lose a fight with the monster in your closet?”

Hyunjin glared at the back of Seungmin’s head, plopping himself into a kitchen chair with a groan and laying his head on the table.

“Well you always look like shit. And be a little quieter please, my head has been killing me.”

His voice was muffled, but Seungmin got the idea, rolling his eyes as he set Hyunjin’s mug in front of him.

“I know you’re not hungover, so what’s wrong with you? You better not be sick, I can’t afford to stay home from work right now.”

Hyunjin contemplated what to say as he sipped at his coffee. He’d known Seungmin for a long time, their friendship seeing some pretty strange times and making it through, but he still wasn’t even sure about what was going on and he was afraid Seungmin would laugh and say he was insane.

His silence worried Seungmin a little, hearing no snarky comeback was very uncharacteristic of Hyunjin. He moved to stand across from Hyunjin, poking him gently in the forehead to gain his attention.

“Hello? Anyone up there?”

His tone was sarcastic, but Hyunjin could tell he was concerned, so he steeled himself before he quietly said, “I think I might be going crazy?”

Seungmin was silent for a beat, resisting the urge to make a pabo joke as he realized Hyunjin was serious.

“Okay…why do you think you’re going crazy?”

Hyunjin sighed, slightly relieved Seungmin didn’t laugh at him, before he collected his thoughts.

“Well…you know that new sculpture exhibit I told you about? I visited it yesterday.”

Seungmin nodded, remembering the text he received before Hyunjin caught the train. He watched Hyunjin nervously wring his hands, mind jumping to a million different ways this conversation could go.

“I don’t know how to explain it…but I knew every statue on display. And not in the way it would be if you went with me to a well known art exhibit, but in the way like I was…there when all of them were made?”

“You were there?” Seungmin asked, guessing from his tone that he was definitely too young to have actually been present.

“Well, obviously not! Every statue is over five hundred years old, of course I wasn’t there, but I just felt deja vu and I swear I knew their faces…ugh I don’t know Seungmin.”

Hyunjin dropped his head into his hands with a huff, Seungmin patting his head in an awkward attempt to reassure him.

“I started to get a headache in the exhibit…and seeing flashes of memories, I think? One of the statues looked really familiar, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her before. The artist has no name, and the last statue has no model dedication, but I just have this feeling of…recognition. I tried to do some research when I came home last night, but I could only find the name of the exhibit’s curator.”

“What’s his name? Maybe we could send him an email or something and see if he’ll meet us so we can ask him some questions.”

Hyunjin looked up, wondering why he didn’t think of that.

“Choi Jongho. He’s a business man from a wealthy family. But why would he answer an email from us? And what would I even ask him? ‘Hey why am I having weird dreams about one of the statues you found?’ Because that wouldn’t get me escorted out for being a crazy person.”

Seungmin ignored his rambling as he scrolled on his phone, finding a business profile on the Choi’s company website that held the public emails of each member of the Choi family. Finding Jongho’s at the bottom of the list, the youngest son of the family, he copied it into a new email and typed out a message asking if he would be willing to answer more in depth questions about his new exhibit.

Not even 5 minutes later, he’d received a response with a time and address for a meet up.

“There.” He cut off Hyunjin’s rambling, turning his phone to show him the message. “Whether he thinks you’re crazy or not, at least you’ll get a chance to talk to him soon.”

And crazy wasn’t exactly the word Jongho would have used to describe the request he’d received from that random email. He’d had many people ask him for interviews and statements about finishing the collection and opening the exhibit, but something in his gut told him that the two men who walked into his gallery now were not here for journalistic reasons.

Hyunjin was speechless as they walked into the Choi family gallery. The family’s personal collection of generations of curated artwork, Hyunjin felt like he could wander around for hours and never grow bored. Turning in a wide circle as he stared around in awe, he bumped into Seungmin as he stopped short, bowing slightly to the suited business man that approached them.

Jongho smiled as he watched Hyunjin’s reaction, guessing that he’d be the one with the most questions. Bowing back to them both, he motioned around him.

“Welcome, gentlemen. It’s refreshing to see at least one fellow art lover walk through our doors for the first time. I am Choi Jongho, the one you emailed about the questions you had regarding the new statue exhibit at the museum. If you’d follow me, I have a smaller room where we can sit and talk.”

Hyunjin and Seungmin both introduced themselves and bowed to him again as they followed him into a cozy study, the walls lined with more collected art, the old bookshelves holding their own impressive collection of rare and antique novels.

Just as Hyunjin went to sit, a portrait next to Jongho’s desk caught his eye. His heart stuttered as he saw the woman from his dreams, the beautiful woman in the statue, her softly smiling image preserved in oil paint on canvas.

Approaching it slowly, any words the other two spoke at him went unheard. As he stood before the portrait, it was as though his entire world view came into focus. Instantly transferred through time, he saw his hand raised to the canvas, the painting incomplete but with the brush secure between his fingers, his muse posed beyond the edge of the easel, her loving smile blooming warmth in his soul.

Hyunjin was brought back to the present by Seungmin grabbing his shoulder. He looked at him dazed, worry lacing Seungmin’s face as he saw that Hyunjin was crying.

“What happened? Why are you crying suddenly?”

Hyunjin shook his head, unable to form any words that would be a decent explanation for what he saw and felt.

Jongho watched the entire scene curiously, more intrigued than ever with the tall man’s connection to the exhibit.

“Do you recognize that portrait?”

Hyunjin turned at Jongho’s question, uncertain if he should tell them his suspicions. Jongho approached his other side, all three of them now standing before her portrait.

“When I received your message, I had hoped that I may learn something as well from your curiosity. There are many who are interested in the notoriety of someone in my family curating and donating such a large project to a public museum, but I see now that neither of you are even slightly interested in topics of that matter. If I had to guess…I would say your questions stem from you recognizing the last and unknown statue in the exhibit, considering your recognition of a portrait of the same woman.”

Seungmin was stunned with Jongho’s quick analysis of the situation, something telling him this man knew more than he let on. Hyunjin was still quiet, gazing at the portrait before he spoke lowly.

“I don’t know if I’m crazy or not, but I’ve been having dreams and flashes of memories that feel as though they’re mine even if I’ve never lived them. It started when I entered the exhibit, I had such a strong feeling of deja vu, like I’d watched each statue be carved over hundreds of hours. The final statue…this portrait…I know her face. I can see her in so many different scenarios, so many memories that aren’t mine but that I can still feel in my heart.”

Hyunjin’s gaze was distant, Jongho smiling sadly as he put the pieces together.

“There are secrets that the rich keep only for themselves.” Jongho gained their attention with his soft words. “One such secret is hardly to be believed, but the evidence I’ve found has forced my belief. Years ago, one of my ancestors was a cruel man that made the base of my families great fortune through fear mongering and bloody violence. I found a record of him when I was a child, but my intrigue also led me to the discovery of my ancestors use of cruel and arcane arts to achieve his goals.”

Seungmin and Hyunjin listened with rapt attention now, something telling them that Jongho knew what was wrong with Hyunjin.

“You’re not crazy, at least not to me.” Jongho smiled dryly, “That was were my search for the unknown artist started, a page in the records showing a list of wealthy families from the time that had all been visited by my ancestor. Once I had the connection, I found the pieces of the puzzle through the statues that were completed. My family has always collected art, and fortunately they had already collected a few of the statues without realizing that they were done by the same artist. It took me until this last year to find her statue, however. It seems my ancestor is the reason that she is unnamed, and after finding the final statue, I felt obligated to ease the tortured expression on her face and atone for my ancestors cruelty.”

Jongho gazed at her portrait sadly then. “My ancestor held a record of a curse-user that worked for him, his signature way of eliminating his targets being something cruelly ironic to their way of life. My theory…is the curse-user is somehow responsible for the artists disappearance from history, the cruel irony being their art works surviving without knowing the talent behind their creation.”

As interested as he’d been in Jongho’s altruistic motives in creating the exhibit, something dark scratched at the edges of Hyunjin’s memory with the mention of the curse-user. He had another brief flash of the past, a dark figure crouched before him, the glint of a silver knife covered in blood, a naked woman sleeping peacefully in the moonlight.

With growing certainty, Hyunjin looked back at her portrait.

In the heavy silence, he let his embarrassment fall away, turning to the other two with a hesitant look on his face.

“Do you…believe in past lives?”

Seungmin almost laughed in his face, but the serious look on Hyunjin, and Jongho’s, faces made him seriously consider. Past lives? Is that what was causing Hyunjin’s headache and weird dreams? He was remembering his past life?

Jongho folded his arms as he thought, asking “Your name is Hyunjin, correct?”

When Hyunjin nodded, he reached out and flipped the woman’s portrait around, revealing a letter on the back, the ink showing the age.

You deserve so much more than paint on canvas. The stars, the very heavens above would not be enough to portray my love for you, but to have your beauty frozen in time for me to cherish will be enough for me. May you have the happiest of birthdays, my muse.

Anywhere in forever, mi amor, your Jin.

Hyunjin felt more tears run uncontrollably down his face as he read the message. A letter that, without a doubt, he’d penned to the beautiful woman in the painting.

“I…painted this. I know I did…I remember.”

His whisper was hoarse, his fingers tracing the delicate shapes of the letters before he flipped the painting back around to her face. Jongho nodded, “There is a collection of paintings in the museum, all of them done at the same times that correspond with the statues of those wealthy families. Each one done by the same artist, in the style of this portrait as well, and all carry the signature of a man named Jin.”

Suddenly, Hyunjin remembered.

The house they shared, her study filled with half finished marble and carving tools, his easels and paint supplies surrounding him, her smile as she watched him paint.

The night he’d died…

‘Not easy to fight back as you bleed to death, is it boy? Don’t worry, I’m not here to kill your girl, no…she’s going to live for a long, long time. Maybe then she’ll learn not to disrespect those who are above her.’

The hissed word of the curse-user as he watched Hyunjin bleed out rang through his head like he’d heard it just moments ago. ‘…she’s going to live for a long, long time’? What did he mean by that?

Like lightning struck him twice, he realized what ‘cruel irony’ the curse-user had trapped her in. To some it would sound outlandish, but Hyunjin was suddenly deadly certain that he did know the unknown artist’s final statue. He knew her better than himself, she was the unknown artist, she was alive…and he loved her.

Turning to Jongho desperately, he held his shoulders tightly, his eyes reminiscent of a mad man’s.

“Can you take me to the exhibit? Please? I can’t explain it but I do know her, I know the unknown artist. Actually never mind…it’ll be faster if I just run.”

He turned to run from the room, fully prepared to sprint to her if he had to, but Jongho grabbed his collar, Seungmin pulling him back as well.

“Woah, woah, just slow down. I’ll take you there, I don’t know what’s going on but you’re not running all the way across town to the museum. Besides the exhibit would be closed by then, so I’ll let you in.”

Hyunjin was practically shaking with adrenaline, Seungmin holding him tightly to stop him from bolting as Jongho led them outside to a fancy black car.

Hold on, mi amor, I’m coming.

To say Y/n was surprised would be an understatement. Gazing out over the exhibit had slowly grown tiring, each dark haired man that entered her sight making her heart jump before being disappointed that it wasn’t Hyunjin. She’d given up for the day, seeing as her exhibit just closed, when rapid footsteps alerted her to the three men approaching.

Like the first time, her heart stuttered at the sight of him. He looked more beautiful than she even remembered, a warmth filling her that she’d been unable to feel for so long. She didn’t even pay attention to the other two that accompanied him as they approached her pedestal, frustrated when they drew close enough that they were below her eye line.

Hyunjin gazed up at her again in awe, grief and regret swirling through him as the feeling of familiarity made sense this time. Seungmin was also admiring her, still not entirely sure what was happening, both of them unable to get any clear explanation from Hyunjin while Jongho drove them there.

Jongho, however, had guessed more of the meaning behind Hyunjin’s words than Seungmin, looking up at her with a generation’s worth of guilt written across his face. The thought that she had been alive this entire time and he’d been so close to the truth ate at Jongho, but he shook his head as he resolved that he would fix his families mistake and hope that she forgave him.

“Hyunjin, don’t climb on the pedestal…come with me and we can get a ladder.”

Hyunjin stopped midway through analyzing if he would be able to climb up to her height, sheepishly turning to follow Jongho, the two of them swiftly returning with the ladder. Seungmin unhooked the velvet ropes in front of her and helped Jongho hold the ladder steady as Hyunjin climbed until he was face to face with her for the first time in five hundred years.

For them, time stopped.

Hyunjin finally saw her the way he’d dreamed. Up close, every moment of their life together swept through him like a warm breeze. His hand trembled as he slowly reached out, cupping her cheek as though she were made of glass, not marble.

Y/n felt the weight of her curse more than she ever had before. All she wanted was to throw herself into his arms, feel him alive against her once again. The familiarity in his eyes told her he knew who she was, he remembered her.

She’d never known if there was a way to end her curse, some sliver of hope that she would ever escape her terrible fate. But as he held her face so tenderly, she knew he was the only one who ever had the chance to free her.

His warmth seeped into her skin, her heartbeat thumping in her stone chest as the fated tide of their combined love became too strong to be contained by mere marble. Hyunjin threw any doubt he had to the wind, leaning forward to press his lips against the stone of hers as he whispered,

“I’m so sorry, mi amor, I’ve kept you waiting for so long.”

The dam in Y/n burst when he kissed her, the tinkling of a single glass tear causing Jongho and Seungmin to look up. Both were confused to see Hyunjin kissing a statue, but it quickly turned to astonishment as they watched the statue disappear.

Every tear she’d wished to shed over so many years finally poured from her eyes as they fluttered shut. Her lips softened against Hyunjin’s, her arms reaching out for him as he stepped onto the pedestal for support when her legs lost strength. Their arms circled each other tightly, their kiss breaking as she gasped before sobbing into Hyunjin’s chest. Tears of relief ran down Hyunjin’s face, his voice broken as he whispered into her hair.

“But I found you, Y/n, I’m here.”

Being a cursed statue one moment and human the next can be a very shocking experience for everyone involved, it seems.

Y/n hadn’t felt so many emotions and sensations in a long time, and the shock on her body had her slipping unconscious after crying so hard. They’d managed to get her and Hyunjin off the pedestal and down the ladder without getting hurt, Hyunjin still holding her in his arms where he now sat against the pedestal’s base. He brushed his fingers gently over her face, still amazed that she’d known him in the past, amazed that she’d been cursed and alive this whole time.

The tense silence was broken as Seungmin cleared his throat.

“Umm…as strange as this all is, we probably shouldn’t be found in the museum with her considering she was a statue until a minute ago.”

Jongho nodded, “Hyunjin, are you alright to carry her?”

Hyunjin shuffled her around in his arms as he nodded, picking her up bridal style and carrying her as though she were still a priceless work of art.

The car ride was equally as tense, Jongho finally speaking lowly. “If I had known she was alive…”

Hyunjin just shook his head, his eyes still not leaving her. “There’s nothing you could have done, Jongho. You did everything possible by putting together the exhibit of her work, making sure that she was remembered despite your ancestor trying to erase her. And because you did that, I remembered her. I remembered her and now she’s free.”

Hyunjin looked up at him in the mirror then, his gratitude shining in the tears along his lashes.

“Thank you…”

Jongho smiled, turning back to the road and feeling the guilt begin to slip away at Hyunjin’s words. He drove them to their apartment with Seungmin’s guidance, handing him a business card with his personal phone number on it.

“I would be very interested to speak with her…if she wishes to whenever she’s adjusted.”

Seungmin nodded and waved Jongho off as Hyunjin was already in the building. Once in their apartment he went directly to his room, laying her gently on his bed.

Sitting back, Hyunjin was hit with the gravity of the situation. What happened now? What was he supposed to say to her? What if she wanted to leave and never see him again?

Before he could spiral much further, Seungmin put a hand on his shoulder, the gentle pressure doing wonders to ground Hyunjin. He took a deep breath, “I’m sorry Seungmin…I don’t even know what else to say. This whole thing is a huge confusing mess.”

Seungmin shook his head as he said lowly, “Let’s just get some food ready, and you can change her out of her five hundred year old sheet…then we’ll take it one step at a time after she wakes up. It’ll be okay…just keep reminding yourself that you saved her.”

Hyunjin nodded, following Seungmin out of his room. His nervousness grew as they busied themselves with preparing everything, anxious to know what would happen when she finally woke.

Two days passed before Y/n finally opened her eyes. Hundreds of years had she been deprived of a restful sleep, the weight of her body unfamiliar as she sank into the comfort of her half-awake state. Her awareness was slower to catch up, the realization that she was laying down causing her to jolt upright quickly.

She pressed a hand to her head as the sudden movement made her dizzy, the strange room slowly coming into focus as she looked around. She sat in a soft bed, her body covered with a large shirt instead of her bedsheet. A warm light came from the lamp that rested on the desk in the corner, the top of it covered in scattered art supplies and open sketchbooks. The walls held sketches and paintings that were partially finished or beautifully completed. The style took her breath away, the delicate strokes shown in each vibrant color, a perfect reflection of his past life and one she would recognize anywhere.

Hyunjin…is it really him?

She remembered the kiss, feeling his warm lips for the first time in years. If it broke the curse, it had to be him…right?

Shuffling to the edge of the bed Y/n attempted to stand and leave the room, but the moment her legs were under her, they crumbled as they were unused to holding her on their own. Landing with a thump, she groaned as her knee reminded her of the feeling of pain before looking up when the light from the hall illuminated her form as the door swung open.

Hyunjin heard the thump from his place on the couch, the last two days fraying his nerves as he checked on her constantly and listened for any sign of movement. Grabbing a glass of water and immediately running towards his room, he paused at the sight of her awake and on the floor next to his bed.

They held each others eye for a frozen moment, tears brimming along her lashes as she took in the sight of him again. Not with her as a statue, not with him bleeding out, but finally face to face, and she couldn’t stop the tears that slipped as she whispered at him.

“…are you?…Hyunjin?…are you really my Jin?”

Hyunjin’s breath caught as he set the glass on the floor, kneeling in front of her with his hands out as though he wished to caress her face, but he hesitated.

“I don’t know…”, he whispered back. “I am Hyunjin, and I remember, I do…Y/n…but I don’t know if I am who I was then. But I swear, I will do anything I can to help you now.”

Tears laced his eyes as she listened, the forgotten feeling of her heart pounding in her chest enough proof to her that her lost love kneeled before her. She reached for him then with a watery smile, his arms automatically accepting her as he picked her up off the floor and set her gently on his bed again.

“You don’t have to do anything for me. You set me free, a debt I can never repay you for. There’s nothing to prove.”

Her voice was still soft, hoarse from no use for a very long time. Hyunjin felt like he was home with the sound of it, quickly grabbed the water and holding it for her as she sipped it gratefully.

“I want to help you, though. I meant it when I said I remember…mi amor…and I would feel like a complete ass if I just abandoned you in a time you knew nothing about.”

Y/n looked up at him as he whispered her beloved nickname, the recognition in his eyes the same that she saw in him at the museum. She chuckled as his declaration, her heart brimming with warmth at the idea that he would stay with her.

“Then you are still like you were in the past…loving, selfless, dramatic…”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but grin at her playfully when she teased him, falling into a pattern of conversation and jest that felt as natural as breathing.

“I’m afraid I was born with the drama, so I guess it transcends time.” His face grew serious then, his hand coming up to brush her hair behind her ear. “But…I left you alone…suffering for over five hundred years. That’s not selfless. It’s only right that I take care of you now, I have a lot to make up for.”

Her eyes closed as the warmth of his hand again seeped into her cheek, igniting her desire for him. Y/n blushed at the sudden feeling, looking away from him sheepishly as the tension between them thickened.

Hyunjin stopped her with the hand on her cheek, sliding his fingers under her chin to tilt her head back up. He shouldn’t feel such a powerful urge to kiss her, technically they barely knew each other, but that didn’t stop him from leaning towards her, his eyes trained on her lips.

Y/n held her breath, conflicted over the same fact of them not really knowing the other, but the less rational side of her, the side that yearned for him for five hundred years, screamed at her to let him make her feel again.

“Tell me if you don’t want that. Whatever you want, I’ll do anything to make it happen, even if it’s not me.”

“No!…no it’s you.” She leaned up to meet him half way, her voice still soft but growing desperate. “I can see in your eyes that you remember, I trust you Jin and I know I’m safe now. Whatever happens, I just hope you’ll let me stay.”

Hyunjin smiled brightly, her heart flipping when she saw he still had his dimples, his other hand coming up to cup her face as he pulled her into a tender kiss that healed every crack that time had wrought in her soul.

Her hands gripped the front of his shirt tightly, unbidden tears running down her cheeks again at the overwhelming amount of good feelings that came with the knowledge that she was free, this was real, she’d found her love once again.

He brushed his thumbs under her eyes to dry her tears as he pulled away, whispering, “Please stay.”, before pulling her back into a more passionate kiss. Y/n whimpered against his lips, trying to pull him closer but only succeeding in pulling him off balance, Hyunjin letting out a muffled squeal as he fell forward.

Barely catching himself from squishing her, he pushed himself up only to be frozen at the sight of her beneath him. As if she’d jumped from the past itself, or from his very dreams, she was flushed from his kiss and gazing at him with desperate eyes. The difference now was she was real, and an added bonus for Hyunjin was she was naked in only one of his shirts.

Throwing rationality to the wind, Y/n gave in to her need to feel Hyunjin after so long apart, the problems of the future fading into the background as they both reveled in finding their other half. Reaching up to smooth her hands through his hair and scratch her nails along the back of his neck, she was thrilled to see it still drew goosebumps from him, his arms trembling as he fought the urge to settle on her fully. Her whispered words were as desperate as her eyes,

“I’ve been trapped in darkness for so long, the last memory of your eyes haunting me with a lifeless stare. You say you remember me, but please Hyunjin, help me know you.”

Hyunjin shuddered a breath as she drew him into a kiss again, his weight settling onto her as her legs slotted around his hips. Like two pieces of a puzzle, they fit as though carved from a single being, the growing heat in their kiss threatening to meld them together for eternity.

He slipped his tongue into her mouth when she gasped at the feeling of his hands sliding over her bare skin.

“I don’t remember my dreams usually,” his voice was hoarse now, thick with need as her own hands began to explore, “but I will forever remember dreaming of you like this.”

Y/n couldn’t help smiling giddily at him, feeling like she was in a dream herself, one that she decided she’d never want to wake from.

“Show me.” She pecked his lips once, twice, “Show me that you remember, what you dreamt of. Please, my Jin.”

Hyunjin groaned, dropping his head into the crook of her shoulder, letting his instincts take over and immediately finding her weak spot behind her jaw, her arms holding around his neck as she gripped the back of his shirt.

“Don’t worry, mi amor, I’ll show you.”

He steadily restarted his hands journey underneath her shirt, sliding it up with his fingers as they pressed familiar paths into her skin. She arched her back and lifted her arms as he removed it completely, leaning back onto his knees to admire her, reminiscent of how he’d gazed at her in the museum. Seeing her naked before him, it was as though no time had passed. Every one of her curves was made for his hands, Y/n shivering as his warm palms smoothed over her thighs and his long fingers traced her figure, reacquainting himself with her beauty.

“…you were a pretty statue, mi amor…but to see you like this now, I can guarantee no work of art would ever be able to replicate the masterpiece that you are in the flesh.”

Her heart hammered at his words, a pretty blush dusting her face as she hid behind her hands. Damn him, five hundreds years and he still has a silver tongue.

Hyunjin chuckled at her shyness, stripping himself equally naked before leaning up to gently pull her hands from her face. Settling on her again, he kissed the tip of her nose.

“Also good to see you’re still as shy as you are beautiful.”

Y/n whined at him, cheeks warmed by the sound of his laughter again. Pulling her into a soft kiss to distract her, he slid one hand to her chest, fondling her breast as he parted from her lips, beginning to trail his across her jaw and down her neck farther. He took his sweet time, truly showing her that he remembered everything about her body.

By the time Hyunjin had kissed and love-bit his way down to settle between her legs, Y/n was panting and running her hands over every part of him she could reach. From his position, he admired the subtle marks across her soft skin that showed his path, his eyes finally settling on her core, a shiver running through him now from excitement that only came from familiarity.

Within seconds of his eager mouth connecting with her clit, Y/n was convinced. He definitely remembered parts of their past, nothing else could explain the way he had her rocketing towards her high without any buildup. He knew exactly what to do and where to lick to drive her over the edge. A lack of any physical sensations in hundreds of years had Y/n entirely shaken as her orgasm hit her like a brick. She unintentionally clamped her legs around Hyunjin’s head, a groan of appreciation leaving him as he gripped her hips, willing to drown in her essence as she trembled against his face.

Hyunjin rubbed her thighs soothingly as she relaxed her legs, no longer suffocating him, but now entirely breathless herself. Wiping his mouth on the sheet, he climbed back over her, kissing her softly when she pursed her lips at him.

“My consensus…you absolutely have some of your memories.”

Hyunjin laughed at her dazed words, the bubbling in his chest making him feel like he could fly. They kissed again, deepening it more slowly this time, her hands trailing down his body now, hoping to learn if he felt the same beneath her fingers.

He gasped into her mouth this time as she wrapped her hand loosely around his hard cock, slipping it against her entrance before lining him up herself.

Hyunjin pulled back, something in him needing to see her as he bottomed out. Y/n’s eyes fluttered at the feeling of him stretching her again, a string of fate solidifying as their hips joined.

They lay still for a moment, basking in the knowledge that they were completed, finally whole again after the retched events that fate had planned for them.

Wrapping his arms around her securely, Hyunjin began moving slowly, letting her adjust but also savoring the feeling of her clenching around him. She looped her arms around his shoulders again, their foreheads resting against each other as his pace increased, her breathy gasps brushed across his lips.

Y/n felt tears brimming in her eyes again, the pleasure she’d only ever felt with Hyunjin overwhelming her. Her fingers dug into his skin, his lips meeting hers desperately as they fell into each other’s love. The sting of her nails pushed Hyunjin closer, feeling proof that she was alive, she was holding him so tightly as though she wished their bodies were one and the same.

The desperation in her hold and her kiss had Hyunjin angling his hips, increasing her pleasure, and his own, and wordlessly promising her that this was real. He pushed every promise into her kiss, the glide of his tongue along hers a testament to his loyalty to her, the precise movement of his hips repeatedly hitting her sweet spot acting as his vow to never leave her again.

Breaking the kiss for air, Y/n breathed a moan against his lips as she felt herself approaching her high again.

“Hyunjin~…my Jin, please I’m so close.”

“Let go, my muse, let me feel you give in to the pleasure I deprived you of for too long. I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be here for you again and again.”

Punctuating his words with deeper thrusts, Hyunjin slid his hand between their bodies, rubbing her clit perfectly as her back arched with a gasp. Her nails left small indents in his shoulders as her mind went white, a moaned sob leaving her as the most intense orgasm washed over her.

Hyunjin gasped as well, almost whining at the feeling of her clenching so tightly around him. Holding her against his chest, he buried his face into her neck as he followed her into his high, pressing himself as deep as he could go and again wishing they could meld into one.

The calm after their mutual storm was like a field bathed in sunlight after the rain. Y/n was more than content, her body melting from the aftershocks of her pleasure, the warmth of Hyunjin on top of her, and inside her, bringing her a deep sense of peace. As he lifted his head, she brushed her fingers through his hair with a soft smile, one that he mirrored as he took her hand, kissing her palm before he brushed the hair out of her face.

“My Jin…”, she whispered, “I’m so happy you found me.”

Accepting his fate happily, Hyunjin pressed a loving and lingering kiss against her smile, one that traveled through time to the happy life of a sculptor and her painter.

“I told you, mi amor, I love you…anywhere in forever, I will find you again.”

TEACHER'S PET - J. YUNHO

SUMMARY : being a fan of Jane Austen's novels, you should have guessed that your attraction for complicated love stories would put you in trouble at some point. but you wouldn't have imagined that the trouble in question would be named Jeong Yunho - your favourite professor.

-> pairing : literature professor!yunho x student fem!reader

-> words count : 30.4 k

-> genre : college au, smut & angst

-> warnings (w. some spoilers of the plot) : soft!dom!yunho x sub!reader, teasing, dirty talk, praising, marking, hair pulling, doggy, protected and unprotected sex, creampie, body worship, use of 'good girl' and 'slut', oral (f. and m. receiving), deep throating, cum play, manhandling, fingering, begging, riding, semi-public sex, yunho has a big cock, hand kink, facefucking, drunk sex, yunho is calling reader angel (yes, that's a warning), age gap (8 years), mention of fwb relationship w. san, cheating, mentions of family issues, self-depreciation

+ the way i'm depicting yunho does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.

-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language

-> author's note : should i say sorry for the enormous word count ? maybe. will i apologize ? not at all because i'm so fucking proud of this fic. it might be one of my favourite things i've ever written, i quite fell in love with reader this time lmaoo. i started the process of the plot back in january, and it took me more than 3 months to write this but it's amazing in my opinion, so i hope you'll like it as much as i loved writting it ! also that is such a detail but yes, prices are in euros in this fic because i'm french and i cannot physically write dollars and not feel weird, i'm sorry, bear with it. i should also say sorry for the angst but it don't wanna either, i already cried to myself when i put it into words, it's your turn to suffer.

-> playlist : older by isabel larosa - white mustang by lana del ray - crazy in love by sofia carlberg - middle of the night by elley duhé - reflections by the neighborhood - daddy issues by the neighborhood - babydoll by ari abdul - easier by bernard park - i love you by billie eilish

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist

Jeong Yunho had been the big sensation and the object of all conversations since he started teaching at your university. It was during your freshman year that he joined your college as the new professor of British literature. And honestly, just knowing that you wouldn’t be forced to listen to an old man repeating the same story about how he almost won the Pulitzer Prize twenty years ago over and over was already a relief. But the fact that your new teacher was also very attractive did get you even more interested in his classes. 

Of course, at first, you were like all the other girls on campus, gushing over how handsome Mr. Jeong was, and how well the suits he always wore were perfectly fitting his tall frame. But you quickly discovered a dedicated and very good professor. He helped your whole promotion to go over all the things your old teacher should have presented to you, and thanks to him, you passed your exams. So even if you couldn’t ignore that he was very, very hot, you were mostly glad to have a professor as passionate as you about literature - his handsomeness was only the cherry on top. 

Every time you had a class with him, you knew that this was about to be a good day, because they were always stimulating and never boring. And maybe, just maybe it was because you were always trying to contradict him. In your defense, Mr. Jeong always led you to approach a new subject with an interesting or controversial point of view, and you were often disagreeing, or had things to say about it. And since not many people in your class were really interested in British literature and were only here to admire your teacher for one or two hours, it was not rare for him and you to end up debating about anything and everything. And today was no exception.

“- What do you want me to say Y/N ? This is how things are, I can’t change them.

- Then you’ll have to convince me, Mr. Jeong.”

Your professor chuckled while shaking his head. You were always like this, always trying to get him to surrender and admit that you had the right answer. Yunho didn’t really understand if it was because you liked to be right or simply because you loved a little bit of challenge, but either way, he appreciated how attentive you were to his classes, and how you were trying to question everything every single time. It was stimulating for the class, for you, and even for him. 

“- In this precise case, it is not my job to do that. The fact that you have your opinion on the subject is a very good thing, but there is no right or wrong answer. What we are trying to do here is simply to interpret what message Poe wanted to convey, we can never be sure if our interpretation is the one he had in mind. And I would love to continue this debate but it’s time for you to go, so don’t forget to read the extract of Wuthering Heights I gave you and I’ll see you next week.” 

You rapidly packed up your things to run back to your dorms. Friday often meant a girl’s night out with your two best friends, and you wanted to have enough time to get ready. You three always got to the same bar where you met each other, one of the first nights you went out during your first year of college. You crossed paths with Lola first, the barmaid having messed up both of your cocktail orders. And both of you clicked instantly, despite her being two years older than you. At one point, while you were dancing together, you noticed a girl alone being clearly annoyed by a guy who repeatedly tried to touch her. So your new friend and you acted like you knew her and forced the guy to go away. It turned out that the girl you had kind of saved, Dia, was in the same major as you. You ended up spending the night all together and you kept in touch after that.

And despite Lola having finished her studies before Dia and you, she stayed around the city because of her work. So once in a while, you took the opportunity to go out at the bar where you met. And tonight was one of those nights, and after the exhausting week you had, you kinda needed it anyway. Your roommate, Dajeong, helped choose your outfit and you got ready together because she was also going out with some of her friends, chatting about your days and the new rumours about the basketball team. And of course, you had to dress up a little, putting on a skimpy, little black dress that did wonders to underline the curves of your body. During these concert nights you were going to, there were always a lot of pretty attractive men playing instruments, and that kinda got you going. So you didn’t put away the thought of finishing the night in someone else’s bed. 

Dia picked you up to go to the bar where you joined Lola and immediately ordered your favourite drink. It felt good to finally rest after the awful week you had. It all started on Monday, when you slept in and missed your first class of the morning. And because you had to rush to the second, you forgot your lunch at home and the charger of your laptop. On Thursday, you forgot about the work session you had with some of your classmates for a group project and arrived late. And finally one of your professors claimed to be disappointed in you because you handed him your assignment one hour late because you had an unplanned class at the due date. So yeah, you really needed this drink with your friends. 

“- So I didn’t warn you beforehand, but I’m gonna sing on stage tonight !”

You looked at Lola, dumfounded, while Dia squealed excitedly beside you. Your older friend had tried to make her music known for the past year and it was finally starting to work out for her. Lola was incredibly talented, so you were certain that she would succeed and you were also very very happy for her, a big smile stretching your lips as you gave her a hug.

“- Girl ! That’s incredible ! I’m so proud of you, you deserve it !”

Dia joined your hug, the three of you giggling.

“-  I’m so fucking exited, we were waiting for it !”

It was still a little early, but the bar was already filled with people, and even if it was still pretty cold outside, you were immediately hit by a wave of heat as soon as you stepped in. You really loved the atmosphere of these kinds of nights, where everyone was friendly because they were only there to spend a good time. Lola had to go backstage to get ready, but you quickly stumbled on some of Dia’s friends with whom you talked for a while and since the vibes matched, you decided to stay together to enjoy the concert. One guy had particularly tried to get your attention, and you weren’t mad about it with how good he looked. He was very tall, and could seem intimidating but whenever he smiled or laughed, you could see how kind and sweet he was. While he was saying something to one of his friends, you quickly tapped on Dia’s shoulder.

“- Hey, what’s the name of your friend that’s very tall ?”

She answered you with a smirk, and mischievous glint in his eyes when she leaned towards you.

“- Why ? Does he interest you ?

- Maybe. So ?

- His name’s Mingi. Have fun girl.”

You slapped her arm lightly, rolling your eyes at her comment. But truly, you didn’t mind the playful bantering between the two of you, loving it even. You let her go back to her conversation while you offered yourself and Mingi another drink since you had finished your beer long ago. It happened that Mingi was just as interesting as you thought he would be, and you even spent the first few performances of the night simply talking with him, too immersed in the discussion to acknowledge your surroundings. It’s only when Lola got up on stage that you started to pay attention, cheering for her after she introduced herself to the public. 

And honestly, she nailed it, hyping the crowd like she did that for her whole life. Dia and you surely clapped and screamed for her the loudest. Lola came to you as soon as she got off the stage, hugging both of you and thanking you for coming to see her and cheering for her. She looked the happiest when she was singing, and you couldn’t be more proud of her as all of Dia’s friends were congratulating and praising her. And from this point on, you didn’t have many clear memories, only knowing that you got drink after drink, getting more comfortable with each one. 

Usually, you wouldn’t be all over someone you had just met, but Mingi was really a good guy, he was attractive and you were drunk, so you didn’t mind the way he was kissing you shamelessly, only kissing him back and letting him roam his hands all over your body. But as always when you were tipsy, your mind was jumping from one thing to another. It didn’t matter that you couldn’t see neither Lola nor Dia around anymore, all you wanted was another drink right now.

“- I’m gonna get one more beer, want one ?”

Mingi tried to stop you when you got up, stumbling a little while standing on your feet, the world spinning all around you.

“- Don’t you think you already drank enough Y/N ?

- You’re cute worrying about me ! I’m okay ! I’ll be back in a minute !”

You were practically screaming, and even with the loud music and voices of people around you, you were very loud, making your way over to the bar while chuckling to yourself the whole time. You dropped onto one of the stools in front of the bar, ordering yourself another beer. It’s only when you turned your head on your right side that you noticed someone you knew quite well. 

“- Mr. Jeong !”

The said Mr. Jeong was straddled by your loud voice and even more by your body colliding with his as you kind of dropped your weight on him, circling him with your arms as if you were trying to hug him. For a few seconds, your teacher remained frozen in place, not knowing how to react, before his brain seemed to reactivate again, and pushed you off of him, holding you by your shoulders. Only a quick look at your flushed cheeks, lazy smile and glossy eyes was enough for him to guess that you were drunk. 

“- Y/N ? 

- That’s me ! What are you doing here though ? Teachers are not supposed to go out !”

Yunho couldn’t help but laugh quietly at your behaviour. You were always so neat and put together during his classes, always so focused and organised. So to see you let loose like this, wearing a skimpy little dress, obviously very drunk and your speech so slurred it was actually hard to understand you, was really a shock. 

“- You’ll be surprised to know that I have a life outside of being your teacher.”

Yunho knew that he shouldn’t find the pout on your lips cute, but he did. 

“- ‘m not surprised, you too hot to be a teacher.”

He blamed the alcohol for the way his heart started beating faster at your comment, and even more when you leaned against him once again, breathing in his scent. 

“- ‘m so tired… 

- Where are your friends ? Maybe they can get you home.

- Don’t know…”

You were starting to feel really dizzy. And not the kind of daze when you’re just feeling the agreable effects of all the drinks you had, it was the kind of daze when you’re starting to feel bad, when your head starts to hurt and all you want is your bed and silence. Yunho tried to observe the crowd and spot the friends he usually saw you hanging with around campus, but no one was in sight. So he stood up, paying for his last drink, before helping you walk towards the exit. 

“- Where we going ?

- I’m driving you home. You’re clearly drunk and you lost your friends, it’s not safe for you to stay here alone.” 

You were too far gone to be embarrassed about your behaviour, or to resist too much, so you let your professor drag you to his car and help you get inside, even buckling up your seat belt for you. You only find it in yourself to give him your address, and text Dia to warn her that you were getting home before dozing off. Yunho had to wake you up when he parked in front of your dorm. 

“- We’re here, Y/N.”

You whined, claiming you were comfortable and didn’t want to move, that it was cold outside and the heat in his car was far much better. Yunho sighed while getting out of the car. Helping one of his drunk students get home was not really on his bingo card of the week, but he couldn’t risk you getting in a dangerous situation. He opened the car door on your side after having taken off his jacket, handing it to you as he helped you get out of the vehicle. No words were exchanged as you put on the black leather jacket that was obviously ten times too big for you, drowning your silhouette inside of it. But you could feel the warmth that Yunho’s body had left, and it made the cold of the wind outside less chilly. 

“- You will be alright to get inside alone ?”

You nobbed your head, the nap you took during the way back to your dorm having sobered you up a little. Now, all you wanted was to wrap yourself in your sheets because you were starting to feel the second-hand embarrassment of this whole situation. 

“- Thank you Mr. Jeong.

- You’re welcome Y/N, drink water and take a lot of rest, okay ?”

You nobbed once again, feeling your cheeks heating up when he pressed your shoulder lightly. You didn’t find anything to answer so you decided to simply get inside, not seeing how Yunho kept an eye on you until he was sure you got inside, and only did he drive off. When you pushed the door open, Dajeong was not back from her party yet, so you were met with a silence that instantly eased your headache. You rummaged through the drawers of the kitchen to find some painkillers and a glass of water, gulping the medication down before heading straight to your room. You hadn’t the energy to take off your makeup, nor your outfit, slipping in bed with Yunho’s jacket still on. But it smelled good, it was so warm, like a little cocoon you loved to be wrapped into. And maybe that was why you dreamed of him that night.

The days after this hell of a night, you were hit with the most terrible feeling of embarrassment and guilt you’ve ever felt. Embarrassment because it was definitely what you should feel after having to be driven home by one of your teachers because you were too drunk, and at that, a very attractive and smart teacher - and also your favourite one. Also to be seen in a state like this by him had you mortified. You always tried to remain serious and professional in front of Mr. Jeong, and you never wanted your personal life to interfere like that with your studies. Guilt because he was certainly there to enjoy his own night out and you wrecked that by forcing him to look after you like a little child. You even threw a tantrum because it was too cold, and every time you saw the jacket you even had the audacity to sleep into, you felt even more bad and ashamed of yourself. You didn’t even dare tell Dia and Lola who helped you get home, claiming it was only a guy you knew. 

You also didn’t want rumors to spread. They were fast to go around students, and if you handed Mr. Jeong his jacket back after his class, it would have been enough for people to believe that you two were in a relationship. So you decided to go and see him after his classes in his office, to be sure that you wouldn’t be bothered. You had buried his jacket at the bottom of your bag, as if everyone had X-Ray vision and could see what was inside, walking as fast as you could through the hallways. You had done nothing wrong, but it still felt like it and you had to mentally prepare yourself for the conversation that was going to happen. 

The door was open when you arrived at his office, but you still knocked on it lightly to signal your presence. Mr. Jeong immediately looked up from the assignments he was grading, smiling when he saw it was only you.

“- Come on in Y/N, and close the door behind you.”

You were fairly unable to utter a word, sticking to nodding your head as you did what he told you. Usually, when you came to his office, you would immediately sit down, but you didn’t feel at ease at all today, too shameful to even look at Mr. Jeong in the eyes. 

“- Do you feel better than this weekend ? You didn’t seem very well yesterday either.”

The fact that he was still worrying about you was making you feel even more uncomfortable. 

“- Uh, yes, thank you. Actually I came by to apologise for my behaviour. I was very drunk, and I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. Thank you so much for driving me home, and again, I’m sorry for how I acted and if I said anything disrespectful to you. And here’s your jacket, I washed it for you. And again, I’m so, so sorry.”

You got the jacket out of your bag, putting it on his desk, neatly folded. Your heart was beating unsteady and your breathing was loud. You couldn’t even remember if you actually said anything weird to him, but knowing you and how you had no filter when you were wasted, you surely did. Mr. Jeong stood up to get his jacket back, hanging it on the back of his desk chair. The smile on his lips was reassuring and sweet, and he didn’t seem mad at all, but you couldn’t help the anxiousness from taking over you.

“- It’s not that bad, it has already happened to everyone to be drunk and do stupid things, believe it or not, it happened to me too.

- To bother your teacher because you were completely wasted ?”

Yunho chuckled at your remark, and he was happy to see a small smile spread on your face too. You were always trying to not look him in the eyes since the beginning of the week, and you seemed very embarrassed when Yunho didn’t want you to be. He did that out of kindness, because you were one of his favourite students and also because he couldn’t let you alone when you were in this state, he couldn’t have looked at himself in a mirror if he had let you without anyone to look after you when you were so vulnerable. 

“- Maybe not, but you get my point. It didn’t bother me, and you didn’t say anything strange, don’t worry. We can just forget all about that if you prefer, but I can assure you that you did not do anything wrong Y/N, I’m just happy I was able to get you home safely.”

Your shoulders immediately relaxed, and it was as if you could breathe more easily. You knew that your professor was honest, that he wouldn’t lie to you about something like that. 

“- Thank you so much for taking care of me. I gotta go for my next class now, but really, I’m very grateful Mr. Jeong.

- No problem, just be more careful next time.

- Of course. Have a good day !”

He greeted you back, watching as you left his office and closed the door behind you. And finally, Yunho allowed himself to slump back in his desk chair, sighing loudly. He didn’t lie to you, didn’t tell you that to make you feel better. Except the fact that you did say that you found him hot. That compliment really messed up with his mind. You were always so serious and focused during his classes, and of course, it was obvious you wouldn’t spend your weekends locked up in your room, but seeing you like this was so new, so unusual. The way you looked at him, the way you touched him, the way your dress was riding your thighs up, the way his jacket was now smelling like your intoxicating perfume - the scent of you invading the room little by little. Everything about this was making him see you in a whole different light. 

The only thing Yunho promised himself when he became a professor was to never, ever, find one of his students attractive. Maybe it was because he was young, and much closer to your age when he started teaching, and that he quickly noticed the eyes some of the girls were giving him. Anyway, he swore on his dignity and morals that he would never have this type of thoughts about a student. But now that he got to see you in your skimpy black dress, which was hugging every one of your curves perfectly, while looking him in the eyes and confessing how hot he was may have him reconsidering his decision.

He knew he shouldn’t see you this way, he knew he shouldn’t search your profile on instagram, knew that he shouldn’t look at your photos nor check you out in your pretty little outfits that you loved to post. But he did it anyway, scrolling through your account as if he was a teenager all over again. And when he stumbled over the photos you posted this summer, body on display in your little bikinis, he knew he had to stop before his thoughts started to drift to places he shouldn’t. Because it was dirty, it was disgusting and he shouldn’t think about you, his student, this way. This should have been enough to stop his mind from going back to this night, but it didn’t. And Yunho felt incredibly bad for not being able to control himself.

You felt a little better since your conversation with Mr. Jeong, reassured that you did not say anything weird to him, and that you haven’t made him uncomfortable. That didn’t ease your mind from the fact that you slept in his jacket and even had the nerves to feel cosy because you were surrounded by his scent. But you tried your best to forget it all, just like he advised you to, even if you had to be honest and admit that you did often think about the way he held you by your waist when he helped you walk to his car. 

You shook your head as you tried to concentrate back on the synopsis of the book you had in hand right now. You decided to go to a book shop with Dia this afternoon after your classes. It was something you loved to do together from time to time, always promising yourself that you won’t buy anything but coming back home with at least one new book anyway. You were not paying attention to your surroundings, entirely focused on the book you were looking at, and you didn’t feel it when someone came up behind you. 

“- I see that you’re very dedicated to my classes Y/N.”

You turned around quickly, not needing to see him to recognize the familiar voice of your teacher. He was standing there, dressed more casually than the usual suits he was always wearing for class, only in black pants and a creamy sweater. You tried not to make the blush on your face obvious as you composed yourself before answering. 

“- Well, your recommendations are always great Mr. Jeong, so I might listen to you once again. But only if it gets me one bonus point on my next assignment.”

Yunho couldn’t help the cheeky smile that spreaded on his face whenever you teased him. It wasn’t the behaviour students should have towards their teacher, but he liked it too much to ask you to stop. 

“- You know very well that I don’t get corrupted this easily. 

- And if I bring you some chocolate ?

- Then I might reconsider your proposal.”

You were ready to add something when you were interrupted by the loud ringtone of your phone. You excused yourself and turned around to answer the call. Yunho didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation with a certain “Sannie”, but at the same time, if it was that private, you would’ve walked away, right ? He wondered if you were used to giving surnames like that to every one of your friends or if this guy could be your boyfriend. But why would that interest him in the first place anyway ? It wasn’t like he cared if you were single or taken. And it was none of his business, but still, the question slipped past his lips when you hung up. 

“- Was that your boyfriend ?

- Oh, no, not at all ! San is my best friend, he has been since we were kids.”

Yunho only nodded, already feeling the second-hand embarrassment of asking such a personal and inappropriate question. He needed to get out of here so you didn’t notice the way his ears were heating up, and you gave him the perfect opportunity to do just that. 

“- I have to go but I’ll get this one. 

- Feel free to share your thoughts about it. 

- I’ll do it, thank you. Have a good day Mr. Jeong. 

- You too Y/N.”

And you left with a warm smile, asking yourself if you would have a stranger interaction than this one in your life. How come that one of the most handsome men you’ve ever met, who also happened to be your teacher, wanted to know about your love life ? You didn’t know how to handle this fact, didn’t know why he asked you that either. But it was messing with your head, making you think about things you shouldn’t, about things you never even considered before this night. Well, that was a bit of lying to yourself. Because you did think about him in this light before, did dream about him touching you in such inappropriate ways for a teacher and his student. But you pushed these thoughts away, not ready to dig into why he was making you feel like that and wouldn’t leave your mind.  

And Yunho couldn’t help thinking the same : how he didn’t see you like that before having you all pliant in his hold, before seeing you wearing your little black dress, before hearing you calling him hot. But if he was honest with himself, he did think that you were pretty during the first class you had with him. He did think on numerous occasions that you were smart and the kind of person he would love to go out with. But he couldn’t. Because he was your teacher, and because he was a lot much older than you. It would be inappropriate. 

Even with all of these considerations in mind, Yunho couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances at you every time you stepped a foot into his classroom. He tried to be as subtle as possible because he didn't want to make this situation even weirder than it already was, especially for you. Little did he know you did the same, observing him every time he wasn’t looking your way, struggling to not blush whenever you felt his eyes on you. And Yunho kept telling himself that he couldn’t do that, that it was not right to look at you the way he did, to think about the things he was thinking about every time his eyes landed on you. But he couldn’t stop it. It felt wrong, but for some kind of reason, he was unable to forget about you. 

“- Did the Mr. Jeong hype finally get to your head ?”

You wiped your head towards Dia, heart beating unsteady. She couldn’t know about what happened almost three weeks ago, right ? No she couldn't have guessed, except maybe if someone saw him driving you home. But your friend only chuckled and slapped your arm when she saw the defeated expression on your face.

“- You look like you saw a ghost ! It’s alright bestie, I wouldn’t judge you for finding him handsome, it’s a fact everyone already established.

- Why are you saying that now ?

- Because you’ve become very distracted whenever we have classes with him, and you don’t participate as much as before. Is it because you finally see him like we all do ?”

You groaned and shook your head, but Dia was too close to the truth to not unsettle you. You knew that you did nothing wrong, that it was normal to think that your obviously very attractive teacher was, in fact, very attractive. But you couldn’t kill the guilt creeping in every time you looked at his hands handing back the papers a little too long, or when you caught yourself wondering if his skin smelt as good as his leather jacket did. 

“- First, I’ve never said that he isn’t good looking, and second, I have enough decency to not drool over him during said classes.”

Lie. It was a complete lie. But Dia didn’t need to know that. She didn’t need to know that your professor had invaded your thoughts in a way you didn’t think would be possible, and in a way that was definitely not appropriate. 

“- Decency doesn’t exist when he enters the equation.”

She was not entirely wrong, but you couldn’t let her win, because it would be like admitting to yourself that you did thirst over your teacher, more than you would like to. Luckily for you, Yunho quickly started his class and strangely enough, for the first time since the bar incident, you succeeded in following everything he was saying and not getting too distracted by his hands, or by his smile. 

“- Before I let you go, I wanted to inform you that I decided to create a debate club. I’m aware of what you must all think about these : that they are boring and never pick the subjects you want to discuss. That’s why you’ll be the ones to propose the subjects we will tackle, and you’ll be free to talk about anything you want. It can be music, politics, literature - anything. As long as you respect each others’ opinions, it’s okay for me. If you’re interested, write your name on the sheet on my desk before leaving and that’s all for today. Thank you for your attention, and have a good day.”

Conversations about Mr. Jeong’s propositions were already erupting all around the classroom. You spotted some serious students you already had study sessions with writing down their names, and a bunch of girls who just wanted to check out the teacher for one more hour per week. Dia already warned you that she didn’t have the time to engage in such activities, but you thought it couldn’t be that bad of an idea. After all, you really loved to discuss with people, and this was the perfect occasion to do so. And no, it was not because your professor will be there. Not at all. It only happened that he will animate the whole thing, it was only a coincidence. You got a pen out of your bag and started to write down your name when his now familiar voice interrupted you.

“- I could’ve bet on this.”

You didn’t dare lift your head and meet his gaze, because locking eyes with him in class was one thing - he was far away from you - but having him so close to you suddenly made you nervous. 

“- Am I so predictable ?

- A little, but I’m not complaining. I know that at least one person will actually come and that I will not be alone.”

This time, you had no other choice but to look at him as you had finished writing your name and had no excuse to look at the piece of paper anymore. You knew you shouldn’t feel like this, but your heart still missed a beat when your eyes finally dived into his. You quickly avoided his gaze, pretending to put your pen back in your bag while you searched in your brain to offer him a clever response. 

“- You know me, I’m always here when it comes to debating. 

- I wouldn’t have expected less from you Y/N.”

The way he said your name shouldn’t have made you blush, but it did. You rapidly excused yourself before literally running away from the classroom and all these feelings that shouldn’t invade your mind. It even made you hesitate on your decision to join the debate club. But you didn’t want Mr. Jeong to think that you were not serious. So you went anyway. And even if, as you predicted, not that many people showed up, you still had a good time. You were even able to not think about him in ways you shouldn’t too often. That was until he insisted on giving you all his personal phone number, so he could organise things more easily and give you the opportunity to see museums or expositions you could later discuss on. That was a perfectly sensible decision, obviously.

However, that night when you laid in your bed and couldn’t fall asleep, your fingers hovered over his contact. It was stupid to even think about it. Why would you even send him a text ? And to say what ? Ask him if he had a good day ? Or if he planned anything for the next reunion ? It was stupid, yeah. But you were one click away from sending a text. You threw your phone to the other side of your bed, running your hands over your face. You were so stupid. Stupid for thinking about Jeong Yunho as anything else than your teacher, stupid for thinking that he would even look your way, stupid for thinking that you were any different from all the girls who were swooning over him. You were just like them and even worse. 

The next meeting with the debate club came too quickly for your liking as you were not mentally prepared enough to see the teacher you couldn’t help thinking about all day long. But this was not what occupied your mind today. No. It was this one girl who thought that she was always right just because she said so. Ever since Mr. Jeong announced that the subject was going to be about music and the sense of community it could create, she hadn't shut up, interrupting everyone as if her opinion was more important. And she wouldn’t stop whining about the fact that music was too commercial these days and that there was nothing original anymore, when her playlist was essentially composed of trending songs and Taylor Swift (not that you had something against the girl, you loved some of her songs, but she was far from not being commercial.) And when you tried to argue that, no, music was not only commercial, that there were still good artists and groups that did it because they truly enjoyed and loved making music, she would get mad. Everytime someone else would defend your point of view, she would accuse them of teaming up against her. 

And you were actually a little mad at your teacher for not jumping in and telling something to this girl who was clearly being unreasonable. You ended up saying that you didn’t want to talk anymore, because even if you were not one to give up, you clearly noticed that you couldn’t win this time. You spent the rest of the debate sulking and stealing glances at Mr. Jeong, who was just observing the chaos. You didn’t understand why he would not intervene, and yes, you got that he wanted to let everyone express their opinions, but was it relevant in this case ? You packed up your things rather quickly ; this whole situation put you into a bad mood, and you just wanted to forget it. 

“- Y/N ? Are you alright ?”

His voice straddled you as he came closer to you, letting all the other students go out behind the two of you.

“- Oh, uh, yeah, I’m good. Just a little frustrated, but it’s alright.

- I understand, but this moment is also made for that, even if you’re not agreeing with her, you have to respect it. 

- I know, I don’t have a problem with her not being on my side, I just don’t like it when people victimise themselves to make me feel bad and let them have the last word. That’s not what a debate is about.”

You tried to stay focused on your bottle of water in your hands, and to not stare at him too much. He was wearing one of his black suits once more, and even more since the bar incident, it was doing something to you. 

“- Well, I can’t say you’re wrong, but not everyone here is as mature as you are. You have to take it into consideration. And it is by talking with people like you that people like her will get it and grow up.”

You shrugged, turning your head to the side because you couldn’t hold his gaze anymore. You knew deep down that he was right, but you were too frustrated to admit it right now. 

“- I’ll let you sleep on that Y/N, but don’t let it deter you from coming next time, your interventions are important and I value them. A lot.”

You nodded before saying your goodbyes and quite literally running away from him, once again. He couldn’t make you feel so frustrated you wanted to break something, and the next second made your heart beat like crazy. Because his words surely did. You knew by the way he was often relying on your answers in class that he must appreciate you as a student, but to be aware that he also liked who you were as a person was something else. It was getting bad, really bad, because you couldn’t keep under control the feelings he made appear in you. And you knew it was wrong, knew that he was your teacher, knew that he probably - surely - didn’t feel the same, but you were already in too deep. 

And Yunho couldn’t help thinking the same as he watched you go away. He shouldn’t feel such attraction for his students, and he shouldn’t try to get closer to you, and he shouldn’t try to do all these things that led you to be alone with him. But still, he chose the next subject because he knew he would get a reaction out of you, because he knew it would get you all passionate about it and he loved when you were like this. 

He didn’t miss his shot because you were the first to talk when he announced that today’s session will be about Jane Austen and feminism. Yunho knew she was one of your favourite authors as you often quoted her in your assignments and used her novels as examples, so he was even aware of your opinion on them. Thus as he was regularly doing during his classes, he decided to go against your views, just to see how you would react. It was wrong to do it only to see you get passionate and involved and slightly mad at him - because you both knew that he already told you that he agreed with your ideas. 

“- I understand what you’re saying Y/N, but the fact that Austen never got married but still insisted on talking about marriage in every one of her novels could also show that it was a dream of hers, and not feminism.”

Again, you were feeling so frustrated against your teacher. But this time, it was directed straight to him. You couldn’t figure out why he would do this, nor why he was so dedicated to debating with you in particular, and not with all the other students that were agreeing with you. 

“- On this aspect, her personal life has nothing to do with it. On the contrary, it reinforces what she’s showing. In Pride and Prejudice for example, Lizzie doesn’t accept Darcy’s proposal until he changes and really proves that he loves her. Plus Darcy doesn’t do all these things so she would agree to marry him, he does it only because he loves her truly. She depicts marriage as something you should do out of love, the only happy marriages in her novels are the ones where the two parties are in love with each other. Like Jane and Bingley, and you can contrast with Lydia and Wickham and how their union is never shown as a good thing, for either them or the Bennets’. I think she never got married because she despised the men of her era, and that they wouldn’t meet her expectations, because she wanted a marriage of love, not of arrangement, or relationships or money. That’s why she is showing them so much in her books, because it reflects how she didn’t like the view on marriages during the Victorian era and the sexism she was surely enduring because of her being a writer and not trying to hide it.”

You barely breathed in between your sentences, and when you finally stopped talking, you felt like you just ran a marathon. Mr. Jeong’s gaze never left yours as you spoke, and the intensity of it was making butterflies come alive in your stomach. It was as if you could feel the tension emanating from him, from his eyes staring down at you. He seemed to snap out of his haze when someone voiced out their agreements to your little speech. And after that, he quieted down just as you did. But you could still feel him stealing glances at you, and you couldn’t help doing the same. 

He was wearing another one of his suits - a three piece grey suit, with thin, white strips on it. He had let go of the jacket a long while ago, and had rolled the sleeves of his shirt up his forearms. And you knew you shouldn’t find that attractive, but you did. You did and it was wrong ; because he was your teacher, and because you were supposed to be a little mad at him for refuting the obvious. 

So like a replay of last week, you stayed back, taking your time to pack up your things and waiting until everybody else left to talk to him one on one. Maybe it wasn’t what a good and well behaved student should do, maybe it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do when you were feeling so attracted to him. Maybe. But you still carried on with your plan, trying to not get distracted by his handsome face, and his pretty hands arranging some papers on his desk. 

“- Why do you keep on pushing me to justify myself like that ? It’s embarrassing, and everyone was so silent afterwards, it was as if I said something wrong, and it’s not agreeable to feel like you are being ridiculous.”

You never had enough nerves to talk to one of your professors like that, but maybe it was the fact that you had a pretty shitty week, or that the way he was looking at you had you feeling some ways you didn’t want to, but you felt a sudden rush of energy and courage coursing through your veins.

“- You did not say anything stupid Y/N, it was very clever on the contrary. And the reason I keep doing that is because I know you have it in you to argue with me and produce this kind of well organised speech. That’s where I want to bring all of my students, but you can always improve and develop your skills. This is what I’m training you for.

- I’m not practising to go to war, Mr. Jeong. All this is not necessary if it makes us feel bad. And why would you do that in front of other students when we already talked about this in class and they all saw you agree with me ? 

- I told you, it’s only because I want you to be able to justify your answers with precise examples like you did today, because it’s important for your future assignments, for your thesis and even just in everyday life. 

- But you know I’m already able to do all that, so why would you seek out my responses everytime ? It feels like you’re targeting me.”

Your cheeks were heating up as time went on, not only because you felt hot from the way all his attention was entirely focused on you, but also because you were so frustrated you could’ve yelled at him. But you had to remind yourself that he was your teacher and that you couldn’t be that disrespectful, that this was the closest you could get to having an argument with him without getting kicked out of your university. He had come closer to you as the discussion progressed, and the sudden proximity between your two bodies didn’t help with your red cheeks. 

“- Yes, I’m targeting you, because I know you’re capable of coming up with things like this, and that you teach a lot to other people by doing so. I love to see you being passionate and invested in the subjects you’re talking about, it makes it fluid to listen to and to understand. Plus, that’s a debate club, disagreeing with you is my job here.”

You wanted to stay calm and collected so bad, wanted to stay as composed as he always was but you couldn’t help how he heightened all your emotions by his mere presence. And the compliments he was giving you didn’t help you relax either. 

“- Yes, okay, but not when you said you approved my views two weeks ago just to change your mind now and make me look like I’ve been talking nonsense all this time. 

- Don’t rely on me and my opinions Y/N, rely on you and what you’re thinking. Do not let other people dictate what you should think on a subject you know and love. 

- I know that, I’m not dumb, but you’re not just everyone else. You’re my teacher and you know what you’re talking about while I don’t. I’m only making assumptions and theories when you give us facts. It’s not the same. 

-  I don’t know it all, what we're making when talking about books and authors who are not here to confirm or deny is always assumptions. You know that I agree with what you said, you know my opinion on Austen and that’s all that matters. 

- But you made it look like what I was saying was irrelevant, you made me look like a fool and I don’t like it, especially when it’s coming from you.”

The two of you had gotten closer and closer, and you were now facing each other, with nothing in between to separate you anymore. Suddenly, you felt an overwhelming need to breathe in his scent, to take the step ahead that was distancing you from him and cut off the act. 

“- What do you mean especially when it’s coming from me ?”

Your breath accelerated when Yunho stepped forward one more time, getting way much closer than decency would allow. But you didn’t make any movement to escape. Because deep down, you wanted this, you craved this. You saw his hand coming up to your face before feeling his fingers brushing against the skin covering your jaw, leading you to raise your head and dive into his eyes. You’ve never seen him from this angle, but with the light of the late afternoon casting shadows on his face, he had never looked prettier.

“- I asked you a question, Y/N.

- I… It’s inappropriate, I shouldn’t say it, I shouldn’t even think about it.”

Despite your words that should deter him from going any further, he swiped his thumb across your bottom lip, smearing your lip gloss. You could hear your own heart beating, aware of every breath you took and every movement of your body. When your eyes met his once again, it was as if adrenaline was spreading through your veins, a sensation that gave you the impression that you were flying. Your gaze flicked down to his lips one second too long for him not to notice and that was Yunho’s last straw as he let his hands drop down to your waist. 

“- I don’t think I should think about what is on my mind right now either.”

As if it was the hint you needed, you grabbed his neck to pull him down to your level. Your lips brushed against his one time, and the next time they met, it was for a real kiss. Yunho squeezed your waist tighter, tugging you closer to him as he let his desire take over his reason. He shouldn’t do that, but your lips tasted like the vanilla chapstick you were always putting on during his classes and that he was dying inside to kiss away. 

It was like your mouth had a mind on its own, kissing your teacher like your life depended on it. You weren’t thinking about the fact that anybody could come in and interrupt you, you weren’t thinking about the fact that what you were doing was forbidden. All you felt was the softness of his hair between your fingers, his large hands on your lower back, and his tongue playing with yours. It all felt too good to stop. 

“- Where are you going ?”

You were putting on your shoes when Dajeong’s voice interrupted you, a knowing smile on her lips. She knew very well where you were going every time you left late at night, during the weekends, she just wanted to tease you.

“- San invited me over, I’m gonna stay the night.

- Of course you are.”

She gave you a little slap on your ass before going back to the series she was watching on the living room TV. Usually, you would’ve laughed or been as excited as her to see your friend but not today. When San had proposed to you to come to his apartment to fool around, you weren’t surprised. It happened often, when neither of you wanted to be alone, when you needed someone to relieve the pressure. And most of the time, you really enjoyed the time you spent together, fooling around without any feelings. But tonight, it was for more selfish reasons that you said yes. 

Because when San was touching you, you were only able to think back to how Yunho’s fingers squeezing your waist felt. And when he kissed you, you could only think back to the way Yunho’s lips made your whole body come alive again. And when he fucked you, you wished it could be Yunho instead. You felt bad, both because you were using your friend to quit thinking about someone else, and because that someone else was your teacher. 

It shouldn’t have felt so good to kiss him, it shouldn’t have sparked a flame and made you crave more, it shouldn’t have made you want to drop to your knees for him. You should’ve been disgusted with yourself and what you did, you should’ve been apologising to him the very next day. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate this moment, nor to forget it. It was engraved in your memory, enough for you to search him up on social media even when San was holding you in his arms, both of you still naked. It was wrong, once again, but you already crossed the line too many times to count, so who cared anymore ?

For a few weeks, you didn’t even dare to look at him too long, afraid to remember once again how delicious his lips felt on yours. And you didn’t feel his eyes following your every movement like you grew used to. It felt weird, to not have his gaze focused on you, and to see him avert even looking your way during each one of his classes. You stopped going to the debate class, and you stopped answering every one of his questions during lectures. 

And Yunho felt like he had fucked everything up. He should’ve stopped when he started to be attracted to you. He should’ve stopped when he started to seek out your presence even more. He should’ve stopped before kissing you. After you ran away last time, he considered sending you a text to apologise, and ask you to not say anything about what happened. But he didn’t, he wanted to let you breathe and have some time for yourself. Except that he started to get worried about the situation. You hadn’t tried to talk about it with him, you hadn’t come to the debate class since this incident. He spent all his time trying to figure out how to handle the mess he created. That was the question going through his mind once more when you stepped into his classroom for the debate club, looking around to see that no one except you and him were here. 

“- Uh… I’m sorry, did I miss something ?”

Yunho turned to you, and for the first time in weeks, he really looked at you, taking in your silhouette and your outfit - one of the little skirts you loved so much, and your signature black, thigh boots. He should’ve been stressed to see you again, anxious to have to talk to you about this kiss. But instead he felt relief wash over him, and it was like he could breathe again. He looked down at the paper covering his usually organised desk, realising that he had to answer you, even if his voice was shaking a little. 

“- I cancelled today’s reunion, I wasn’t feeling very well.”

You nodded your head, looking around the classroom as if you were searching for something. You debated in your head if you should address the subject with your teacher or not. You were too nervous to talk about it, afraid that he would act like it didn’t ever happen, or worse, as if it didn’t mean anything to him. You were about to go away, to run away, like the other time, when you heard his voice behind you, loud and clear. 

“- Wait ! Please, wait. We need to talk.”

You hesitated for a few moments, your hand hovering above the doorknob. Yunho saw your arm drop by your side before you turned around, taking some steps in his direction, and he was already relieved that you weren’t going to find him disgusting or scream at him. He didn’t need much time to figure out what he was going to tell you, having replayed this exact scene again and again in his head, too many times for his own good. 

“- I have to apologise for what happened last time. It was never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable, or to scare you away. And I’m also sorry for kissing you like that, it was wrong of me, I should’ve never done that. We can forget all about it, or you can do whatever you want because I’ve done enough to make things worse.”

You stayed silent, for seconds that felt like hours for Yunho. He prayed inside that you were going to forgive him, that you were going to tell him that it was okay, that you would simply not talk about it ever again and let him feel guilty about this for the rest of his life. 

“- It’s okay Mr. Jeong, it was a mistake, it could’ve happened to everyone. And I have some parts to take in this too. But I understand. It was a mistake anyway, it didn’t mean anything.” 

It didn’t mean anything. These were the words he unconsciously hoped you wouldn’t pronounce. Because even if he tried to deny it, it meant something to him. It meant so much that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It meant so much that everytime he sat at his desk, he thought back to the moment he kissed you. It meant so much that even weeks later, he still didn’t forget the taste of your lips, the feeling of having you so close to him. And he craved it. He needed it again. 

“- It’s okay if you want to think about it as a mistake.

- Why are you saying that ?

- Because for me it wasn’t.”

His eyes crossed yours, enough for him to see this little spark he noticed before he captured your lips last time. Maybe it wasn’t only a mistake for you either. Maybe he didn’t fuck it all up. Maybe he still had a chance to make this right, if there was any way to make all of this right.

“- It did mean something to me. I… I haven't stopped thinking about it. I can’t focus on anything else other than you.”

It was as if your breath was knocked out of your lungs again. He did that too much lately. But the intensity with which he was staring at you and your lips, and his confession had your heart feeling weak. And surely, you shouldn’t indulge in your fantasy. Surely, you shouldn’t let yourself get seduced by your teacher. But you were already in too deep, and you couldn’t ignore anymore the way he was making you feel. 

“- I can’t either. I think… I think you should kiss me again, maybe it’ll help.

- Maybe you’re right.”

Yunho bypassed his desk, and you joined him, throwing yourself in his arms. He cradled your face between his hands, and this time he didn’t hesitate when he put his lips on yours, sighing in relief when the taste of your vanilla chapstick invaded his senses again. And the way you were tugging at his suit jacket to pull him closer to you told him everything he needed to know. 

“- Fuck… I missed you so bad Y/N, thought I had messed up everything.”

You stared up at him, now able to see the lust, the desire he had for you going through his brown eyes, and it made your inside flip. You had dreamt about this so much, even if you would’ve rather died than admitted it. But it was true. You were dreaming about having him so close to you, about having him tell you how much he wanted you, about having him just like this. 

“- You didn’t, not at all.”

That was all the talking that was made. Because you already talked too much, and even if he loved hearing your soft voice, all Yunho needed right now was to taste you again, to drown himself in your body and your addicting, intoxicating scent. You didn’t stop him when he reached for your thighs to lift you up and drop you on his desk, not caring about the assignments sheets you were sitting on. 

You discovered the way his lips against yours felt again, savoured the way his tongue played with yours again. And you loved it just as much as the first time, maybe even more. Because this time, you were truly desperate to feel as much as him as possible. You reached to grab his waist, spreading your legs and bringing him even closer to you. And Yunho complied, because he was just as desperate to finally have you all for himself. He let his hands wander from your back to your thighs, and feeling up your bare skin under his fingers was already driving him crazy. 

You tilted your head to the side when Yunho displaced his kisses from the corner of your mouth, to your jawline and then the side of your neck. He was almost devouring you, but you weren’t complaining : it was exactly what you wanted, exactly what you needed. You felt his hands creep up higher, reaching for the hem of your skirt, and his hot breath hitting the now wet skin of your neck. 

“- Do you know how bad I wanted to do this every time you walked in my classroom wearing those skirts and these boots ? Do you know how hard it was to not think about doing exactly that whenever you were looking at me ?”

You let out a moan, not really knowing if it was because of what he just told you or because of the fact that he just gave you a hickey. Your heart was beating too fast, adrenaline rushing through your veins as Yunho kissed down your clothed-covered body, making his way to where his hands were still laying. But it was only when he dropped on his knees and pushed your legs apart some more that you realised what he was doing, your words getting stuck in your throat and being replaced by a pathetic whimper when he kissed the inside of your left thigh instead.

“- Is that okay ?

- Y-Yes Mr. Jeong.

- Call me Yunho, will you ?”

You quickly nodded your head, already far too gone because of his feather like touch everywhere except where you needed him the most. 

“- Good girl.”

And as if it wasn’t already enough to get another noise out of you, he pushed your skirt higher up your thighs, revealing your soaked panties to his hungry gaze. Immediately, he dived in, licking a strip of your arousal through the material of your underwear. This time, another moan escaped you and it encouraged Yunho to push the piece of clothing to the side and taste your juices for real. The groan he let out against your folds had you shivering ang trying to close your legs around his head. But he was holding them with an iron grip, making it impossible for you to move. 

You threw your head back when he sucked on your clit for the first time, one of your hands flying to take a hold of his hair, keeping him just where he was. He ate you out just like he kissed you - hungrily, like a starved man, like it was his last meal. And you were loving it all, trying to keep down your noises because anyone walking by the classroom could hear you and decide to walk in, and you could get in trouble. But the thrill of getting caught was making everything feel so much better. 

“- Feeling good, angel ?

- Yes, so good, don’t stop please…”

The nickname had your legs trembling in no time, and the way he was lapping at your cunt had you close to the edge already. You could feel your pussy clenching around nothing as he sucked on your clit again, making more of your juices come out that he didn’t waste any time licking up. The force with which he was holding your thighs open made you wonder if he could use the same strength to put you in all the positions he wished, if he would use the same strength on you to make you unable to move and fuck you until you passed out. 

“- Yunho… I’m close…”

He hummed against you, doubling his efforts to bring you to the edge. He didn’t need to do much, because you had been waiting for this for too long, and because he felt too good to resist. As you felt your orgasm wash over you, your hand that wasn’t busy in his hair gripped the first things you could reach - one of the paper scattered on his desk, and you couldn’t even feel guilty about the way you crumpled it between your fingers, the rush of pleasure taking over you so strongly you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything else. 

When you had regained enough consciousness for your legs to support your weight again, Yunho helped you come down off his desk, his hands not leaving your waist even when you were standing in front of him. You smiled when you saw how much you had messed up his hair, as they were going in every direction, and you tried to smother it a little. 

“- Let me see you this week-end if you are free. I want us to talk, and I want to take my time with you, make you understand everything you make me feel.”

And you agreed. Of course. But you started to regret it when you found yourself all alone, in the room of the hotel Yunho had sent you the address of. You were aware that you couldn’t just welcome him at your dorm, or go to his apartment either, because there were risks that someone would recognize you. So here you were, waiting for him. Despite what had happened earlier this week, it still felt incredibly wrong to be there, to do what you were about to do. You looked around the room, where nothing felt familiar and everything felt odd, as if you shouldn’t be here. You were almost ready to leave when the door opened and Yunho entered. 

He was dressed in a pair of black pants, some sneakers and a beige pullover. His casual outfit clashed with the slightly revealing white dress you were wearing underneath your trench. And you felt ridiculous for thinking that putting on something like this was appropriate, though nothing about this situation was appropriate. 

“- I’m sorry, I couldn’t find anywhere to park my car.”

Yunho’s voice broke down the heavy silence hanging in the air, but it didn’t dissipate the strange atmosphere. The room was filled with tension, with unspoken words, with something dangerous and forbidden, but so tempting. 

“- It’s okay, I haven’t been here for long.”

The moment was awkward, neither one of you knowing what to do with themselves. You couldn’t tell him that you were about to leave when he arrived. And he couldn't tell you that the real reason he was late was because he hesitated before coming. But all it took was one eye contact, one look a little too insistent at each other for your lips to find themselves once again, as if they knew better than yourselves what you wanted. And suddenly, nothing felt weird anymore, nothing felt wrong anymore, and everything was finally fitting perfectly - from the way he was holding your waist, to the way the skin of his neck felt under your fingertips. 

“- I missed you.”

The words he whispered against your lips made you feel everything you’ve been needing without knowing it. And you thought that maybe, this wasn’t such a big mistake. And when Yunho’s hands found their way underneath the skirt of your dress to caress the soft skin of your plush thighs, your brain disconnected, letting your emotions control you instead. You got rid of your trench, the material falling to the ground and soon joined by his jacket. You didn’t resist when he grabbed you by your waist to hold you flush against him and kiss you again, finally letting your hands slip under the hem of his pullover and touching his skin. Once again, the way he was kissing you left you dizzy, unable to think about anything other than him. 

“- This dress… 

- Do you like it ? Or is it too much ?

- Fuck, no, it’s…”

He took another look at the way the white tissue was hugging all your curves just right, underlining your silhouette and making you look like an angel. And the fact that you dressed up just for him made his hunger for you grow even more. So when he felt the urge to kiss you again, and again, and again, he gave into it, like he had wanted to for so much longer than he thought. 

“- It’s perfect, you’re beautiful.”

You wanted to compliment him right back, but he didn’t give you enough time to do so, mingling his tongue with yours instead. And you didn’t complain, because you couldn’t get enough of the taste of his lips, of the way his big hands were guiding you to sit on the bed, of the way he was looking at you. You watched closely as he got on his knees to get you rid of these thigh boots that were driving him crazy. Then, he helped you out of your dress, revealing your white lingerie set. 

You thought you would’ve been shy, or embarrassed to let him see you like this. But all you felt right now was desire, and confidence. You smiled when you saw him lick his lips while staring down at your body, and while he wasn’t paying attention, you started to unbuckle his belt. Yunho let you do what you wanted, obeying when you asked him to take off his pullover. When you managed to get rid of his pants, you finally allowed yourself to properly drool over him.

You looked up at him from your sitting position on the bed, while he was still standing in between your legs. It was like crossing his gaze at this precise moment made you realise how real all of this was, and you were hit with the fact that you were really going to fuck with your teacher. But you couldn’t find it in you to fight the feeling anymore. It was too late anyway, you couldn’t go back even if you wanted to. 

So you did nothing to stop him when Yunho pushed your shoulders so you would lay on the bed. You did nothing to stop him when he started to kiss your neck and covered the skin in his marks. You did nothing to stop him when his hands began to roam all around your body because he couldn’t choose only one spot to touch and focus on, because he needed all of you. 

“- I thought you wanted to talk.”

But with the way your fingers were threading through his hair as he massaged your breast over your bra, you definitely weren’t up to talk either. 

“- We’re gonna talk, but after I’ve fucked you.”

He punctuated his sentence by pushing your boobs out of your bra and leaning down to suck on your right nipple. And you couldn’t contradict him when all you were able to do was moan and ask for more. Yunho slowly made his way down to your panties, kissing every part of your exposed skin until he could remember every mole and imperfection of your body. And by the time he took off your underwear, you were already dripping wet and you couldn’t breathe properly anymore. 

“- Please Yunho, please don’t tease…

- Why’s that angel ? You need me that bad ?

- Yes, yes I need you, I want you.”

Finally hearing it from you and not from the dreams he was making did it for Yunho as he searched for a condom in his jacket’s pocket, while you were throwing away the last pieces of clothing separating your skin from his. And you couldn’t help admiring him and his tall frame, his sculpted back, the veins in his hands and arms, his abs slightly peaking out. Everything about him, every inch of him was perfect, made by the Gods. 

And you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his cock either, following his every movement as he got rid of his boxers and put the condom on. It was big, but just as pretty as him, and you already knew he would fill you up just right. When he was close enough to the bed again, you grabbed his hands, pulling him to lay on top of you and kissing him like it was the last time you could taste his lips. 

“- Please Yunho, fuck me…”

And he couldn’t do anything else than do it, sliding right in with how wet you were even if you could still feel the way his cock was stretching you out. But you couldn’t help the moan escaping you when he bottomed out, nor could Yunho stop himself from groaning at how tight you were clenching around him. 

“- Feeling so good around me angel, like you were made for me.”

You were ready to answer, but the force with which he thrusted inside of you stopped you from doing so, uttering a strangled noise instead that was quickly replaced by endless whines and moans as Yunho started to fuck into you. It was as if he knew exactly how to make you feel good, as if he already knew your body like the back of his hand. He found his way to your waist again, pinning your hips down to the mattress so he could do what he wanted, fuck you like he had been wanting to for far too long. 

You could feel your mind drifting far away as all the tension you accumulated these past weeks left your body, washed away by pleasure and desire, washed away by the way Yunho was looking down at you with hooded eyes, lips parted and letting out the most sinful sounds you’ve ever heard. But you needed to feel him even closer to you, impossibly closer to you. So you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him down against you. He reached for your legs, guiding you to bend them more until he could hit this sweet spot that made your head fall back with a cry of his name. 

“- I’m not gonna last long angel, been waiting for this for too long. 

- Me too, I’m close, please… 

- You sound so hot when you’re begging.”

You made sure to remember this piece of information before abandoning yourself to the feeling of his cock hitting all the right spots, and of his skilled fingers teasing your clit, the combination making you clench around him impossibly tight as the wave of your orgasm crashed over you. Your release triggered Yunho as he buried his face in your neck, groaning about how good you felt while filling up the condom with his cum. And the crazy thought of him filling you up instead crossed your mind, and it made the feeling of slight overstimulation even more intense. 

You were so out of it that you almost didn’t feel the moment when Yunho got up to throw away the condom. You had purposefully decided to not think about all the consequences that what you just did implied, you just wanted to enjoy this a little longer. So when he came to lay down with you again, you got closer to him immediately, like magnets who couldn’t resist the attraction. His fingers brushing against your cheek encouraged you to turn your head to the side, diving in his hypnotising brown eyes. You stayed like that for a moment, simply looking at each other without saying anything. And as if it was the only thing your bodies knew how to do, you joined your lips again. 

This time, it was slower, more sensual. If before you were devouring each other, now you took your time to savour the taste of his lips and tongue, to appreciate the way his hands were gliding on your skin, tracing invisible patterns on your lower back. It felt so much more intimate than what all this should have been, but it was too late, so you might as well fuck it all up completely. 

This time, Yunho didn’t rush anything, letting you decide on the pace. He let you do what you wanted when you got on top of him, let you deepen the kiss, he let you caress and discover his body. Your kisses wandered from the corner of his mouth to his jawline, going down to his neck, his collarbone, his pecks, his abs, his v-line, careful not to leave any marks on him. You could hide the single hickey he gave you, but you didn’t want to take any risk. When you reached his inner thighs, his hands had made their way to your head, his fingers tangling between the messy strands of your hair. You looked up at him, the desire pouring from your eyes making his heart beat faster. 

“- Can I ?

- Do whatever you want, angel.”

You smiled before you resumed your soft kisses along the skin of his thighs. But this time, you let them go up to his hardening dick. It was even prettier up close - and you’ve never thought you would say that about a dick one day, but you’ve never thought you would fuck with your teacher either. You kissed his length from the tip to the base, before running your tongue along the path you had traced. The action got a gasp out of Yunho, and you could feel him staring down at you as you kitten licked his flushed tip a few times. You wanted to take things slow, to remember this for as long as possible, but you were craving his taste, craving to feel him even more so you just took him into your mouth. He was big to say the least, and you could feel him, heavy on your tongue, stretching your throat as you started to bob your head up and down, stroking with your hands what you couldn’t fit in your mouth.

Yunho watched you intently, mouth slightly open and letting out sighs and grunts because you just felt that good. The sinful vision you offered was enough to make these weeks of mentally torturing himself totally worth it. Maybe he shouldn’t love the way you were making him feel, maybe he shouldn’t love the way you were whining around his shaft, maybe he shouldn’t love the way saliva was spilling out from the corners of your mouth. But he couldn’t care less when he gripped your hair harder and you moaned around his cock, eyes watering and nails digging into the skin of his thighs. 

“- Shit angel, you’re taking it so well. You’re so good to me.”

You hummed around him once more, resisting the urge to gag around him, relaxing your throat until you could take all of him in your mouth. You felt Yunho sit up straight, so he could get a better look at the way his cock was sliding in and out of your lips with ease. The sight was truly mesmerising, and he wanted to engrave it in his memory. 

“- I want to fuck your throat so bad, angel. Will you let me ?”

The pleased sound you let out after he grazed your scalp a few times let him know how willing you were to do just that. Yunho pulled on your hair roughly, forcing you to take all of him, until your nose was rubbing against his stomach and your hands were desperately pawing at his thighs. His thrusts were slow but hard, just what you wanted, just what you needed. 

“- You’re such a good girl Y/N, fuck, you’re going to make me cum. I can do it inside of your pretty mouth, right ?”

You agreed with strangled noises as best as you could with the way he was ruining your throat, but it was enough for Yunho to understand and a few seconds later, he buried himself as deep as he could one last time, cumming down your throat with a loud moan of your name. You did your best to shallow everything, some drops of the sticky substance spilling out. Yunho didn’t waste time picking them up with his fingers, sliding them between your lips instead of his cock, commanding for you to lick them clean, which you gladly did. When he finally let you breathe again, your throat was sore, but you were so wet you could feel your juices sliding down the inside of your thighs. 

“- Open your mouth for me angel, yes just like that. Good girl.”

Yunho grabbed you by your throat bringing your face closer to his and kissing you messily. He didn’t care that he just came into your mouth, he didn’t care that he could still feel his own taste on your tongue as you made out with him, on the contrary, it made everything so much more intense, so much better, so much more special. 

“- Was it good ?

- It was a perfect angel, you’re perfect.”

His hands slid down from your neck to your ass, guiding you to sit on his lap. His touch made you shiver, your back arching unconsciously. 

“- Want me to return the favour angel ?

- Yes please, I want your fingers…”

Yunho pushed you so you would lay down on the bed again, his fingers immediately dipping to your core, brushing lightly against your clit. His fingertips glided with ease against your slit, collecting your juices and spreading them everywhere. And you were hypnotised by the sight, thinking about how well his long fingers would fit perfectly inside of you, how they could reach your sweet spot so easily. 

“- You’re so wet, Y/N, you’re dripping on my hand.

- Please, Yunho…”

The way you were begging for him, the way you were calling his name, the way you were grabbing his biceps, trying to entice him in finally pushing his fingers inside of you - everything was driving him crazy, you were driving him crazy, and he was convinced that he didn’t want all of that to ever stop. His gaze was fixed on your face scrunching up with pleasure when he finally put one finger inside of your clenching pussy. 

“- Feels good ?

- Yes, so good.

- You want another one ?

- Please…”

Yunho bit his lip when he watched you take his second finger with ease, relishing in your sweet voice moaning at the way he was able to reach so deep without making any efforts. You were being so good, and he didn’t have to do anything for you to do so. You were pleading for him so easily, like it was natural, and that was making him feel even more dizzy with want and desire for you. He started to pump his fingers slowly, the squelching sounds from your wet cunt echoing through the room along with your whimpers for more. His other hand creeped up to your thigh, making sure to keep them open. Pleasure was clouding your mind, but your eyes were unable to leave the sight of the veins bulging in his forearms as he fingered you restlessly, thinking about all the ways he could control you, about all the positions he could put you in if he wanted to. 

And when it all started to feel too good, you plopped down against the pillows, not able to hold your own weight anymore from how his fingers were making you feel. Whenever he was curling them against that one spot, your brain turned to mush, and you could only whine and cry for more. You closed your eyes, already feeling close to your relief, but not wanting him to stop. 

“- Yunho… 

- What do you want, angel ?

- I-I want you to fuck me again, please…”

He didn’t let you have any time to think as he bent down to kiss you again, as a reward for being so good to him, so good for him, so perfect for him.

“- Cum on my fingers first, and I’ll fuck you as many time as you want, okay ?”

You nodded energetically, too turned on to think about anything else that wasn’t him. He let down your thigh to circle your clit, efficiently bringing you to your climax in seconds. Your nails dug into his biceps as the rush was taking over you, clenching around his fingers and moaning so loudly he was certain that the people in the room next to you could hear you scream his name. But he loved it, he was loving all of this a little too much. 

But Yunho didn’t ask himself more questions as he got up to find another condom in his pockets. He didn’t dare interrogate why it felt so good when he entered your pussy for the second time. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know why hearing you moan his name again and again made his heart beat faster. All he wanted right now was you, all he needed right now was you and your perfect body. 

This time, he wanted to feel you, to really feel you. So he purposely slowed down his thrusts, and even when you wrapped your legs around his waist, all he did was to suck another hickey in between your breasts. It was frustrating, but it also felt insanely good, the type of pleasure that made you unable to think, that made you go to another world because it just felt that good. You knew you were babbling incoherently, mewling for him to go faster, but you were already too far gone to care about how desperate you must look. 

In the heat of the moment, Yunho didn’t think twice before grabbing your wrists and pinning them down to the mattress, but you only whined and clenched around him tighter as an answer. And that made him lose control, his thrusts becoming more sloppy, without any rhythm, because you just felt that good. 

“- Yunho ! I’m gonn- Ah ! Oh my god…

- Cum for me angel, fuck, let me hear you.”

His words pushed you over the edge, the overstimulation from your two previous orgasm making this one feel even more intense and fulfilling. Your moans were high-pitched, but you couldn’t keep your voice down, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything else than Yunho, Yunho, Yunho. You could hear him groan as he pulled out, throwing the condom away to pump himself on top of you. He only needed a few seconds to cum on your chest, the white fluid soon covering them and even that felt good. 

You felt so out of your own body that you almost didn’t register when Yunho grabbed some tissues to clean your skin. But the ringtone of your phone was like a brutal reminder that this was only a little bubble that couldn’t last forever. You got up from the bed to answer your phone, Dajeong on the other line reminding you of a gathering with some of your friends that you had completely forgotten, too focused on Yunho and what you just did. As soon as you hung up, you started to put your clothes back on. The awkward silence from before was coming back, but you didn’t want to end it like that. You wished you could’ve stayed with him a little longer, but you had to be realistic : you weren’t his girlfriend and you’ll never be. But when he grabbed your arm and kissed you passionately while you were fully dressed up and he was only wearing his underwear, it felt exactly like that. 

“- Text me later, okay ? I still want us to talk.”

This was becoming too serious for you and you could feel your heart beating too fast for your liking when he cradled your face in his hands to force you to meet his eyes. 

“- So you want to see me again ?

- How could I not ?”

You simply smiled and kissed him again before you left. Your legs were still weak, and when you looked at your reflections in the mirror of the elevator, it was like what you did was written all over your face - in your smudged lipstick and your ruffled hair. But it felt too good, and you were already addicted. You knew it would not be easy to stop, but you preferred to pretend that it could last forever for now. 

You were afraid that everything would feel weird, that you wouldn’t even dare to look at him, or that maybe he would be the one putting an end to all of this. But he didn’t. And the way he was looking at you during his classes could only mean that he craved you just as much as you craved him. And stealing glances at each other was basically all you were able to do for the whole week, because you had a ton of assignments to work on, and because he had too much work. Both of you agreed through text that it was too risky to do anything on the campus, that nothing should happen again in his office. 

However, that didn’t stop your mind from coming back to when he ate you out on his desk, or to him fucking you, or to the way his cock was feeling so heavy on your tongue. And that didn’t stop Yunho from thinking back to your plush thighs clenching around his head, or to your taste, or the way you were screaming his name when he was hitting the right spot. Every night when you came back from your classes, you laid down on your bed, trying to make the aching in your core go away, but the only thing that could satisfy you was him, and you knew it. 

Your frustration reached its peak on Friday when Lola cancelled your night out because she had to work early the next morning. You knew it wasn’t her fault, that it was her colleague for calling in sick just so she could go see her boyfriend, but it still annoyed you, and it was the cherry on top. This whole week would have been stressing enough, but the fact that Yunho made eye contact with you whenever he could, and that he purposefully brushed his fingers against yours every time he handed you some documents added to your irritation. 

You didn’t think twice when you sent him a text, asking him to join you to the hotel because you needed him badly. You didn’t feel ashamed of how desperate and needy you were, because you were too horny to care about the fact that you shouldn’t miss him so much after only one week of not seeing each other. And maybe Yunho should have resisted more but he longed for you, he had wanted you all week and he couldn’t contain his desire anymore. 

This time, he didn’t even greet you when he entered the hotel room, going straight for your lips and taking control of the kiss, devouring your mouth as if you were his oxygen. Maybe you should've talked before doing this again, but lust was clouding his and your mind, none of you thinking about anything else than releasing the tension. 

Soon enough, the floor was covered in your clothes as Yunho manhandled you on your knees, ass up and face down in the pillows, two of his fingers already buried deep inside of you. If last time, he wanted to take his time, today he just needed to ruin you, to break you down, to see you cry for him. And that was exactly what you wanted him to do, what you needed him to do to you. Your brain had already been disconnected, the words coming out of your mouth against your will. 

“- Please Yunho fuck me, please wanna feel you raw, want you to fill me up, please…”

His fingers stilled inside of you for a few seconds, almost making you cry out at the loss of stimulation. What you were asking him to do was crazy, it was not safe, but the way his dick throbbed made all the thinking for him - he wanted that, he dreamt about that.

“- Are you sure about that angel ? 

- Yes, please ! I’m on the pill, I’ll take a plan B, but please I need you, please…”

It was still dangerous, it was still nonsense, but Yunho wasn’t thinking with his brain anymore, nothing logical was crossing his mind anymore. 

“- Fuck, you’re going to kill me Y/N.”

But he loved it, and he loved how tight you felt around him when he pushed his cock inside, loved how he could feel you even better like that, loved how pliant you were in his hold. He gripped your waist as he bottomed out, forcing you to stay still and all you could do was moan out his name like a prayer, because you could feel everything, because it felt even more intense like that, because his strength excited you. And Yunho didn’t hesitate when he started to pound into you, the feeling of your bare cunt around his dick making him delirious. You arched your back more, trying to fuck yourself against his cock because you always wanted more, you always craved more. 

“- You’re such a slut, angel. Fuck ! You’re letting me fuck you raw but you get shy when I look at you, uh ? You’re so fucking naughty.”

You adored it when he called you his good girl, but the way he was holding the back of your neck to keep your head buried in the pillow, and the way he was ruining you felt just as good. The adrenaline rushing in your veins had you getting closer to the edge so quickly, but you didn’t want him to stop. You were unable to say anything else than his name, choking on your words, mewling from the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. 

And Yunho wanted to talk dirty to you, to whisper all the things he knew you loved in your ears, but his mind was clouded with want, and he couldn’t think straight. All he wanted was to spill his load inside of you, do the things he imagined when he was alone, these things he forbade himself to think about. But now he could, and he never felt better than buried deep inside your tight cunt. 

“- Gonna cum inside of you, okay ? Gonna fill you up like the slut you are, angel.

- Please !”

The moan he let out when he stilled inside of you was so erotic you could’ve come only listening to his voice, but the feeling of his cum painting your insides white was what made it for you, your body growing limp in his hold. His grip on your neck and hips tightened, maybe enough to leave you with some marks but you didn’t care. Both of you had trouble coming down, but when you were finally able to, Yunho helped you lay down with him, your head resting on his chest as you were still trying to catch your breath. You felt his fingers brushing your hair away from your face and you looked up at him, your heart skipping a beat when your gaze crossed. 

“- I wasn’t too rough, right ?

- No, it was perfect, I loved it.”

You smiled at each other, and even if it felt too intimate, and even if it was what couples did and not whatever the two of you were, he leaned down to kiss your lips softly. 

“- I loved it too. I think I just want to keep spending a good time with you, I don't want things to get more complicated than they already are, if that’s okay with you. Let’s keep it as simple as possible, yeah ?

- Yeah, I’d like that.”

You were the one to kiss him this time, as if you wanted to seal your agreement, as if it was a silent promise. 

“- Where are we going ?

- It’s a surprise. You can choose the music if you want.”

You didn’t waste any time going through Yunho’s playlist, teasing him about some songs you didn’t think he would listen to and finally settling on a Lana del Ray song. It had been a week since you decided to just do what felt right and not think too much, and he had asked you if you were free to spend your Saturday with him. Of course, you said yes, but you didn’t think that he would pick you up in his car and drive you somewhere, thinking he just wanted to change from the hotel you were always meeting up and show you another place, but it felt like he was literally taking you on a date. 

You watched the landscape unfold through the car window, casually chatting with Yunho about how your week went, about what you ate yesterday, about which book you read lately. Sometimes, you thought that the age difference between the two of you would make things awkward, or that it would clash with your opinions. But it was the exact opposite. Your conversations felt natural, as if you had known each other for decades, as if eight years weren’t separating you. You were twenty-two, you were an adult and you could make your own choices, but sometimes, you were worried about the way he was perceiving you. 

“- Y/N ? We’re almost there.”

You looked down at your phone, seeing that it had in fact been over an hour since he had picked you up and you apparently fell asleep. You yawned as you checked your makeup and hairstyle in the mirror of the sun visor, glad to see that your little nap hadn’t messed up anything. When Yunho stopped the car, you were in a narrow street, where not many stores could be seen. You were about to get out when he asked you to wait, getting out himself and making his way over to the passenger door, opening it for you and offering you his hand to help you out. And smiled up at him as you got out of his car. 

“- You’re such a gentleman.

- For you ? Always.”

His cheeky smile made you giggle, but the fact that he didn’t let go of your hand as he walked you to one of the few shops on the street made your heart skip a beat. He did nastier things to you, said words that would have made anyone feel embarrassed, but for some reason, this small gesture dusted your cheeks in a pink tone that wasn’t due to your excessive use of blush. 

“- I really wanted to show you this place, I think you’re gonna love it.”

He held the door for you, a little bell ringing as you entered a cute, little bookshop. The smell of old pages invaded your nostrils as Yunho guided you through the shelves with a hand on the small of your back. You couldn’t help looking all around, stunned by how much books were in there, by how many you recognized the titles of. The atmosphere of the whole boutique was welcoming and warm, the sunlight reflecting through the coloured glass of the front window displaying moving shadows everywhere and adding to its charm. 

“- You like it ?”

You turned to him with a big smile on your face, almost ready to squeal with excitement. 

“- Of course I like it ! If I could spend my life there I would !

- No one’s stopping you angel.”

A big smile spread on his face as he kissed your forehead and let you wander around, eyes opening wide every time you saw a title you recognized. You were fitting perfectly in the setting with the black bow in your hair, your little brown skirt and your white turtleneck. Yunho was so lost in his contemplation that he almost didn’t hear the lady holding the shop coming out of the stocking room.

“- Yunho ! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you there !

- Yeah Mrs. McMillan, I’m sorry I’ve been quite busy.”

The old lady shook her head, her long, white hair flying around as she did so. 

“- I’ve already told you to call me Isabel, honey, I’m not that old ! And you brought a pretty girl along this time.”

Yunho turned back to you, watching you fondly as you piled up books in your arms, and soon enough the stack would be higher than you. 

“- Is that love I’m seeing in your eyes ?

- No, not at all, she’s only a friend.”

Putting that label on you made his heart ache, because he knew you were so much more than that, and Isabel seemed to know it as well because she looked at him with a gaze filled with disapproval as you came to the counter, still smiling. 

“- Y/N, this is Isabel McMillan, she has been selling books here since I’ve been alive. 

- Nice to meet you Mrs. McMillan ! I have to say that this shop might become my new favourite place, there’s so many things there, it’s incredible !”

Your excitement was contagious as a smile took over the old woman's features too, softening at having someone as passionate as you to compliment her. 

“- Don’t take on your friend’s bad habits, call me Isabel, sweetheart. I’m glad you’re enjoying my hard work. 

- I really do. If I could, I would buy half of these books but sadly I cannot.”

As Isabel noted down the title of the books you wanted to buy - because she didn’t want to use technology, saying it was too tiring to learn these things at her advanced age - Yunho couldn’t detach his eyes from you. 

“- Since you’re with Yunho, and because I’m starting to like you, young lady, I’m going to offer you a little reduction. It’s rare to see people being so dedicated to literature these days, it will not do any harm to my business to encourage you to come again.

- Thank you so much ! But I’m gonna tell you a secret : I would’ve come back, even without that.”

The old lady laughed out loud, along with you and Yunho joined the two of you, because your good mood was infectious. 

“- Do you still have the book I asked you to put away last time ?

- Of course, honey, I’m a woman of words.”

She crouched down behind the counter and came up with a book she handed him. 

“- I’ll pay for it, and all the ones Y/N is taking.

- What ? No, Yunho this is almost fifty euros, it’s too much.

- Can’t I spoil you ? It’s my pleasure angel, I wanna do this for you so let me, okay ?”

The nickname had you unable to hold eye contact with him much longer, and you folded, letting him pay for your books, with butterflies coming alive in your stomach as he held the door for you again on your way out. And Isabel watched all this happen, and she couldn’t help scolding Yunho in his head for being so blind about his own feelings, for being so blind to the way you were looking at him with heart eyes. But after all, it was none of her business. 

“- Put the books in my car, then we can go grab a coffee if you want. 

- I’d like that, yeah ! And thank you for the books, you didn’t have to. 

- Yes, but I wanted to. Stop worrying about that okay ?”

You nodded as you reached his car and you dropped the books on his back seat. But before you could close the door, he handed you the book he took for himself. 

“- This one is also for you. I saw it last time and thought that you might like it. Maybe you could read it while I’m reading one of yours, and when we’re done, we could hand it back with annotations and talk about it. What do you think ?”

When you looked up at him, he looked anxious, maybe because he thought that you wouldn’t like his idea. But you did, the simple fact that he thought about you when seeing this book made you feel dizzy. 

“- I think I love this idea. Wait a minute.”

You turned around, rummaging through all your new books in search of the one you saw and that you bought for the sole reason that it reminded you of him. 

“- I picked up this one thinking about you, actually, so you might read it as well.”

You handed him the book, and he took it gladly as you grabbed the one he picked up for you too. You finally closed the car door and you both headed downtown to find a coffee shop. The first time your hand brushed against his, you didn’t dare to take it. And the second time, he didn’t dare to do it. So the third time, you took a deep breath and intertwined your fingers with his, and he gave your hand a little squeeze, both of you wearing a bright smile on your faces. 

The coffee shop you found was surprisingly pretty empty considering it was a Saturday evening, but you were glad there were not that many people. When you approached the counter, you were ready to recite your favourite coffee order when Yunho took the lead and listed down your usual as if it was written in his mind. You couldn’t even listen to the rest of the things he said to the cashier, focused on why he knew that when you never told him. He must’ve noticed you blankly staring at him, because he turned to you with a little smirk. 

“- What ? You’re surprised I know this ?

- Yes, a little. How did you figure it out ?

- Well, you always come to my classes with the same thing, it was not difficult to notice.”

You rolled your eyes, mainly to hide how flustered the information made you feel. 

“- You’re so obsessed with me.”

As the cashier put your orders down on the counter and announced the price of your drinks, Yunho mouthed “Yes” to you as he paid again for the both of you without letting you enough time to even reach for your purse. And before you could even start to protest, he effectively shut you up by kissing your cheek and dragging you along with him to find an isolated table where you both sat down. As always, the conversation flooded naturally, and you were not thinking about anything displeasing - in this instant, you were truly happy. 

And Yunho was happy too. So when you proposed to play a card game, and that the winner could ask the loser a question about anything, he agreed, even if it was silly, it was okay because it was you. You asked him what his favourite colour was, why he wanted to become a teacher, what he would say to Oscar Wilde if he could talk to him. And he asked you which Austen novel was your favourite, why you wanted to study literature, what your biggest dream was. You were so immersed in your little game that the staff of the coffee shop had to ask you to leave because they were closing the place, and the sky was indeed darker as you got out to walk back to his car. 

He opened the door for you again, and as you watched him make his way to the driver seat, you couldn’t help asking yourself if that was really all he wanted from this afternoon. After all, even if you didn’t put a label on your relationship - if you could even call it that - you knew deep down that the main reason he was seeing you was sex. And if he didn’t plan on having sex with you now, does this mean that this meeting you didn’t dare call a date was only that ? But then, it took you down a rabbit hole of never ending questions that you didn’t want to dig into.

Sensing that your mood was a little down, Yunho didn’t dare to talk too much and disturb you, even if he didn’t understand why. You had a good time, you couldn’t stop smiling and you really seemed to enjoy hanging out with him. And the thought that you could be questioning yourself about your situationship made him a little nervous, though it shouldn’t because this was what it was - a situationship. And it didn’t matter if you made his heart beat faster everytime he saw you. And it didn’t matter if you made him feel alive for the first time in years. It didn’t matter because having more with you was simply impossible. When Yunho parked in front of your dorm, all the serotonin from this day had been washed away with the doubts filling him up.

“- Thank you for everything Yunho, I had a great time.”

But your smile seemed fake, it didn’t reach your eyes as it usually did. And Yunho felt his heart clench painfully. He didn’t want you to feel sad with him. Never. You were supposed to enjoy his company as much as he enjoyed yours. 

“- Are you really alright ? If I overstepped, tell me, please. I don’t want you to keep these things from me Y/N.”

You sighed as you turned your gaze away from him, but his hands on either side of your face forced you to look him in the eyes again. Why did he have to be so perfect all the time ? It would’ve made things so much easier if he didn’t care about you.

“- You did nothing wrong, I’m just thinking too much. 

- About what ?

- I just think we should be more careful if we start going out like that because someone could recognize us. And you could lose your job, or I could get kicked out. I’m probably just being paranoid but…”

That was not the problem, but you didn’t want to talk about the real reason you were feeling so melancholic. Because it would probably ruin everything, and you needed him too much for your own good, you needed him too much to risk losing him.

“- You’re not being crazy, okay ? I understand, and if you’re afraid we might meet someone we know, we can go somewhere else next time, anywhere you wanna go, i’ll take you. How does that sound ? 

- Good. It sounds good.

- Then we’ll be doing that.” 

You nodded, and even if you still felt a little bad, one look from him was enough to make you feel better, to make your worries all go away. So even if your heart was screaming for you not to, you let him kiss your forehead, and then your lips, so softly it made you weak in the knees. But it felt too good to ask him to stop. So you didn’t, and you just kissed him back until you were out of breath. 

“- I’m gonna go, I have to work on your assignment because fucking the teacher won’t get me a free pass, right ?

- That’s the spirit angel, I’m always expecting the best from you.

- Then I have to start now. Be careful on the road, Yu.”

He nodded and watched you get out of his car, not leaving until he saw you get inside the building of your dorm. And then only did he authorise himself to let out a sigh. Because you were too sweet to be true, because you gave him a little nickname that had him feeling much more things than he shouldn’t, because your scent was still lingering everywhere and it was driving him crazy. You were driving him crazy, to be honest. 

And it was bad, really bad. Yunho didn't mean for things to go this far, but he felt like he couldn’t stop now. And if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want to stop now that he had a taste of you. However, it still felt incredibly wrong to go home to his girlfriend when he had spent the day with you and that he didn’t think about her only once. The smell of home cooked food hit him as soon as he stepped inside, and the weight on his shoulders even more heavy as he announced that he was home. 

“- You’re coming back late, baby ! But that’s okay, at least everything is ready for dinner, I made your favourite !”

Guiltiness was creeping up inside of him with every word she said, and everything sounded so fake when he served her his lie about having an important meeting with his colleagues. She didn’t deserve this, she didn’t do anything for him to stop loving her. On the contrary, Hana was always sweet and caring, she was there for him and had been for years. But maybe it was the problem. Maybe it has been too long.  But Yunho perfectly knew the real reason, it was just too painful to admit it, and it would make things too real. 

For a while, he preferred to ignore the fact that you were making the flames come alive again in his heart. He preferred to ignore how much stronger his feelings for you were than for his girlfriend he was supposed to love and cherish and marry soon. But was it really a crime when everything she was doing, everything they were doing seemed faked, forced, done out of habit rather than because of true love and affection ? Yunho knew that he was already in too deep with you to stop, and the way Hana was not paying attention to what he was saying was making him feel a little less remorseful about the way he was only seeing your face when she was kissing him good night. 

Work and classes have been hectic for the both of you these past weeks, so Yunho’s proposal of a getaway trip to the beach this weekend felt like a bubble of oxygen. Sure, you had seen each other, but for never more than a quickie. Sure, you didn’t stop sending each other texts and photos to keep up with your days, but you wanted to hear him calling you angel again. And even if it was supposed to be only that, even if you shouldn’t want that, you still missed spending time with him, talking with him. So you held on to the promise of this little break with him to finally breathe and relax.

When you finally spotted his car parked a few streets away from your dorm, and his tall frame leaning against the drivers’ door, the wind blowing his perfectly styled hair, your heart started to beat faster. The rush you got everytime you laid your eyes on him never flattered. And you didn’t really think about it when you ran to him and threw yourself in his arms. You could hear him chuckling as he buried his face into your neck, holding you closer to him and spinning you around. Both of you needed this hug, and Yunho couldn’t ever get tired of your addicting scent, breathing you in for a moment before he cradled your face into his hands to kiss you like he had wanted to these past few days.

“- I missed you, angel. 

- We literally saw each other yesterday.

- But not like that.”

This comment was enough to make heat rise into your body again. But you simply slapped his chest playfully as he giggled like an idiot. But he didn’t mind your teasing, it was entertaining. Like the gentlemen he always was, Yunho opened the door of the car for you. Every time he drove you somewhere, you felt like a passenger princess - getting to choose the music, opening the windows whenever you wanted, holding his hand when he didn’t need it. The weather was starting to warm up a little, and you smiled as you felt the pleasant air hit your face, making your hair fly in every direction. 

And yes, Yunho felt a little guilty for cancelling plans he had with his girlfriend to take you to the beach, but he needed it. He needed to escape from his life and his routine for just one day, but more importantly, he needed you. He didn’t want to spend his weekend with her family, he wanted to spend it with you. And as he watched you run towards the water, squealing as the cold liquid touched your bare feets, he felt like it was worth it. Your long skirt was floating around you to the rhythm of the wind, and to him, you’ve never looked more beautiful than right now - with your hair all messy, and the brightest smile he’s ever seen on your face directed at him, asking him to come with you. 

There were only a few other people on the beach, allowing you to be as affectionate as you wished. The picnic both of you had prepared was spent between sweet kisses and mindless conversation. And then, Yunho laid down to rest his head on your lap while you read another book he had given to you. You mindlessly started to run your hands through his hair, smiling lightly when he released a satisfied sigh, relaxing even more. And Yunho swore he could’ve fallen asleep just like that - with the sun warming up his body and your presence warming up his heart. 

“- It’s been so long since I’ve last gone to the beach…”

Your self-reflection steered Yunho out of his slumber, looking up at you to find you entirely focused on the landscape in front of your eyes. Suddenly, your tone was a lot more nostalgic, and he couldn’t help his curiosity. Because yes, he knew your body like the back of his hands by now, and he knew what you were liken but he knew so little about your past, about you - the you he was starting to fall in love with. 

“- But you grew up close to the ocean, right ?

- Yeah. We used to go every weekend, it was always the best day of the week and I was so excited to go every time. But when my parents started to fight, we stopped going. Apparently, it reminded them of too many memories and they had no time to do that anymore. I tried to go alone once. I was maybe eight ? I don’t remember well, but I know that I got scolded so badly I’ve never tried it again, even as a teenager. And I kinda had an apprehension to go see the ocean again. 

- I didn’t know that. I’m sorry for proposing that, we can leave whenever you want if you don’t feel comfortable, angel.”

Your eyes finally came back to him, smiling softly at him as you pushed a strand of his hair away from his forehead, your touch making goosebumps come alive on his skin. 

“- It’s okay, I’m over all that now. And when I think back about it, these trips were never perfect. My parents were already fighting back then, I was just too young to understand what it meant. But today I’m here with you, so I knew it would be nothing like that. You make everything better, Yu.”

You leaned forward, pecking his lips for a second or two, but it was enough to make Yunho smile again. He had no idea your childhood could’ve been so chaotic, and from what you told him, he could easily imagine the classic scheme through which you went. And it made sense with the women you were today - strong, independent and determined. But he also learned that you needed him to baby you sometimes, and he was always willing to let you fall into his open arms every time you needed to. And the fact that you were slowly opening up more and more to him everyday felt like a reward. 

“- What was your childhood like ?

- Well, I have a pretty conservative and religious family, and I’ve always felt like I’ve never belonged with them. My parents love me, I know they do, but it’s like I don’t fit in with them, you know ? It’s a strange feeling, but I’ve always been the rebel one : I didn’t do the studies my parents wanted me to do, and I didn’t follow every one of their rules as I grew up, and I’ve never had the same faith as them. I think that’s what disturbed them the most. 

- The feeling of being a disappointment, and of going against the flow is never easy to deal with, especially as a kid. But look where you are now. They should be proud of you for doing a job you love. At least, I’m proud of you.”

This time, Yunho made the first move to kiss you. 

“You’re really an angel, too good to be true.

- I could say the same about you.” 

Because he simply had that aura that made you feel safe, that made you feel comfortable, that made you feel at home. Every time you looked into his eyes, it was as if nothing else existed, as if he was the only thing that was real. But you didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to dwell on what it meant, didn’t want to think about the fact that this won’t last forever. Instead, you kept on talking, telling each other some childhood memories. And it all felt so peaceful, like you were all alone, like it was both of you against the rest of the world, like you were in a little bubble that could never burst. 

And Yunho really wished he could stay like that with you forever, but the sun was starting to go down and the wind was turning colder. You could’ve fallen asleep on the ride home, lulled by the way he was quietly humming to the songs of the playlist you choose. This day made you forget about everything else, made the stress go away, made all your worries disappear. But you knew it was not only because you got away, but mostly because Yunho was with you. He always had that effect on you, no matter how hard you tried to resist it. You didn’t want this day to end, you didn’t want this feeling to ever go away. So as he parked near your dorm, you kissed his lips one more time.

“- Do you want to come up ? My roommate is not here. 

- What about being careful, angel ? Anyone could recognize me here. 

- It’s Sunday, everyone is either locked up in their rooms working or spending the day out. No one will see you. Please ?”

The fact that you started to kiss down his neck as well as your pleading eyes were close to breaking Yunho’s resolve. He knew he shouldn’t let you have this much of an effect on him, but you had that effect and he couldn’t deny the way he weakly said “yes” and let you drag him to your dorm room. But the way you were giggling against his lips as you pushed him to sit down on your bed made him forget all about his doubts. As you dropped to your knees on the ground, settling between his legs, Yunho couldn’t help the shaky breath that escaped him. 

“- I think I have to pay you back for today, don’t I ?”

The smirk playing on your lips as you unbuckled his belt and helped him get out of his pants did nothing to calm his heartbeat down. And the way you were always so eager to take care of him, to have your mouth on him, did nothing to help either. But it felt too good, so he didn’t stop you and let you kiss his tip one time before you started to kitten-lick his cock. 

“- Fuck, don’t tease, angel. 

- But you look so pretty like that.”

Your pouty lips made him want to spoil you but also to be a little mean. But you were such a good girl for him, taking all of him in your mouth. Everytime you were getting down on your knees for him, Yunho couldn’t help the rush of adrenaline going through his veins.  He threw his head back when he felt your cheeks hollowing, sucking him in deeper. He wanted to stay like that forever, with you drooling around his cock, and his hands buried in your hair. But he needed to have his mouth on you too, to make you feel good. So he took advantage of your size difference to throw you on the bed with ease, pushing up your long skirt so he could dip his head under the material and lick a strip of your wet cunt through your panties. 

“- Yunho… Please, don’t tease.

- But you look so pretty like that.”

You smiled as you lightly slapped his shoulder, eliciting a few chuckles from him before he helped you get out of your underwear and finally got a taste of your cunt. You could only see the top of his head, but the way he was subtly nibbling on your clit had you closing your eyes to appreciate the moment even more. His tongue lapping at your cunt was sending you to places you’ve never been, and you couldn’t care less about the other people at the dorm who might hear you whining his name loudly. This day was so perfect, Yunho was so perfect. You couldn’t ask for more. Or you could, but you would be pushing your luck, and you didn’t want anything else if it meant you could be with him in some way. But you didn’t want to think about all that right now, so you pushed his head further in between your thighs. 

“- Don’t stop, please…”

Yunho groaned against your folds, doubling his efforts to bring you to the edge, practically making out with your pussy at this point. But you didn’t mind, not at all. You wanted him, wanted every little part of his body and soul to be yours. As you felt your orgasm approaching, you started to grind against his face, moaning at the way his nose was bumping against your clit every time you rocked your hips. And when you came with a cry of pleasure, Yunho made sure to hold your thighs open for him to eat you until he had gulped down the last drop of your juices. 

“- How do you taste better every time ? I’ll never get tired of it.

- Good. Because I don't want you to stop.” 

Both of you were still half clothed, but you didn’t mind it as Yunho came up to kiss your lips, his tongue finding yours easily and his hands grabbing your breast over your top like a second nature. Everything felt so familiar, so right, like you were where you should be. Your lips were sealed to his, from the moment he pulled out his condom to the moment his cock entered you, only separating for a brief instant when you moaned in harmony. 

And no words where needed as he made love to you. Because there was no other way to define how he was fucking you, to define the tenderness of his touch, the fondness of his gaze, the softness of his breath hitting your skin. Every sound he elicited from you was immediately drowned in his mouth, your hands tugging at the material of his shirt as you felt close to the edge again. You felt full of so many emotions you couldn’t even name them all, but you knew that Yunho was the only reason you were feeling all that. 

“- I’m close…

- Me too, angel…”

The words you’ve been meaning to say for some time almost slipped past your lips as you felt the rush of pleasure course through your body. And if Yunho hadn’t nuzzled his head into your neck, he would’ve probably been about to say them too. As you came down of your little paradise where nothing existed except for him, you realised how close you’ve been to fuck it all up. And you didn’t want that - you were going to take everything you could have from this relationship, and no matter the state you would end up in, it would be worth it because it was him. 

“- Hey ! Watch where you’re going Y/N !”

Dajeong kept you from walking straight into the door that opened just in front of your face. You sheepishly thanked her, and tried to not get lost in your thoughts again.

“- You seem absent since yesterday. Did something happen this weekend ?”

You knew exactly why you were so absorbed, you knew it. But you couldn’t say it, you couldn’t talk about it with her. It would mean putting Yunho in a dangerous situation, and yourself too. And what would she think of you ? You were always the first one to comment on how stupid all the girls crushing on your teacher were, and now you were the one who ended up in his bed every time he needed you.

“- It’s nothing, I just… Don’t know what to do about something and I’m thinking about it a little too much.”

Your eyes travelled from your friend by your side to Yunho’s silhouette. He was standing near the door of his office, having a lively conversation with a woman you’ve never seen before but you supposed that she was one of his colleagues. You had no right to be jealous. And you weren’t. Not really, at least. You were not jealous about seeing him with someone else, you were mentally prepared for that to happen. But you were jealous of how good she looked beside him, thinking about how ridiculous you must be whenever you were going out with him. Your age difference was visible, and everything felt much more right when he was with someone his age. But you quickly averted your gaze from them, not seeing the pained look on Yunho’s face as he turned his head your way. 

“- You wanna talk about it tonight ? 

- I don’t know, it’s complicated.”

Dajeong smiled at you and grabbed you by your arm, trying to cheer you up a little. She didn’t like to see you down - you were always so energetic and joyful, it felt odd whenever you were like that. 

“- No matter what you decide, I’m here. And I’m keeping you home for a movie night anyway.

- I'd like that a lot. Thank you.

- I told you, I’m here for you.”

You thanked her again and tried not to think about Yunho for the rest of the day. You weren’t even mad at him, except the fact that you had no right feeling like that, it was mostly because you realised that you really couldn’t be with him for more than what you already were. And it hurt more than you think it would have, because even if you tried to stop yourself from daydreaming about a future with him, you still did, and you had started to believe that it could happen, that it could be true. But you had to be sensible and remind yourself that it was impossible, that even if there was the slightest chance that he loved you, he could never do it in the open, and you were not ready to stay a secret your whole life. But you still went to his office after your classes because he had asked you to. When you entered the room, Yunho was waiting for you, anxiously chewing on his nails. He gestured for you to close the door behind you and when you made sure it was locked, you took his hands in yours, confusion lingering in your eyes. 

“- What is it Yu ? Are you alright ?

- I should be the one asking you that.

- Why ?

- Because of what you saw this morning. It’s not what you think, I swear there’s nothing between us, she’s just another teacher I’m working with. I’m not doing any-

- Stop.”

And he did it, mouth closing shut as you tried to not let all the doubts and the melancholy that invaded you today be perceived in your voice or your touch. You stood on your tippy toes to kiss his lips softly, hoping that it would calm him down a little. 

“- I didn’t think anything about it, okay ? I’m not mad, or sad, or anything else. And you can do absolutely what you want, you know, it’s not like I’m your girlfriend or anything. I don’t have a word to say about your relationships.”

The words hurt you, but they hurt him too. He knew you weren’t his girlfriend, he made that clear enough so you understood that nothing like that could ever happen. But it still felt wrong to hear you say that, he still felt bad at seeing the slight discomfort in your eyes. However, you didn’t let him reflect on that too much as you let go of his hands. 

“- Don’t worry about that, okay ? I have to go, I have plans with Dajeong for tonight but text me if you need anything.

- Yeah, have a good night angel.”

You smiled at him before leaving and Yunho’s heart clenched when he saw you go out one more time. Every night you spent together, you had always left before him, and every time, he wished you could stay a little more. And every time, he prayed that it would not be the last time he was going to see you. Even if everything about this was wrong, he didn’t want it to end, and for once, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to think about himself, to put his happiness first and not everyone else’s opinions. 

That’s why when you told him you had a really bad day, a few weeks after this incident, he decided to think about what made him happier lately and put you first. So he picked you up after class, without telling you where you were going, but it had become a habit of his to never reveal the destination of your little adventures. The ride was silent, the music being the only sound disturbing the quiet atmosphere, but as soon as Yunho parked on the hill that overlooked the whole city so you could see the sunset, you bursted into tears. Yunho pulled you into his lap, running his hands through your hair to calm you down, and encouraging you to talk to him. 

“- Tell me what’s going on, angel. 

- I’m just… Everything I do, it’s never enough. There’s always someone who’s doing it better, there’s always someone to remind me that I’m enough. I’m never enough, for anything or anyone.”

Seeing you like that broke his heart, but Yunho didn’t let his own emotions overpower him. He cradled your face in his hands, whipping your tears away tenderly. 

“- You are enough Y/N, you’ve always been enough and the way you’re feeling right now does not reflect what you really are. You’re doing so much all the time, and for everyone. I promise you are enough, angel. And I’m proud of the person you are, I’m proud of you.”

You nuzzled your head in his chest, a little more serene than five minutes before, his scent soothing your heart and your mind, and his touch so soft and delicate you could’ve fallen asleep in his arms. You stayed like that for a moment, not needing to say anything else as his presence was enough to get you to relax, and you couldn’t say if you spent ten minutes or an hour like that, but you felt so peaceful you didn’t want to move. Whenever you were with him, it was like a little bubble engulfed the two of you, and that nothing else existed beside him and everything he was making you feel. 

“-  Thank you, Yu.”

And you pecked his lips to reinforce that idea. And Yunho pushed away a strand of your hair before he kissed you too, deepening it when you whimpered against his mouth and wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him closer to you. And you stayed there, simply making out and quietly talking about nothing and everything. But it was enough to calm you down. And it was enough for Yunho to be sure about what he wanted to do. But not now. Not when you were so vulnerable he felt like you could break in his arms. 

“- Can you take me home ? I’m tired.

- Of course, angel. I just need to stop by the gas station.”

You nodded and kissed him one last time before getting back in your seat. Your mood was much better on the way back, casually chatting with Yunho as he drove you home with his hand comfortably resting on your thigh. You mindlessly played with his fingers, not really paying attention to the road. You only registered the notifications noises from his phone when he was out and paying for his gas. You glanced at his illuminated screen, not really wanting to know who was texting him but just out of habit, and the nickname of the person texting him was all you needed to know. “My girl 💕” was enough to understand that you weren’t the only one, that he wasn’t as invested in this relationship as you. You were aware of all these things, but to be hit by the realisation, to be faced with the truth was harsh. When he sat back down in his seat, you had to brace yourself so the tears wouldn’t spill from your eyes, so the words you were about to scream at his face wouldn’t slip out from your mouth. 

“- Are you alright, angel ?

-  Hum, yeah, I just wanna go home and sleep. Don't worry.”

You offered him a little smile and he caressed your cheek, but you had to mentally restrain yourself from pushing his hand away. You let him drive you home, forcing yourself to smile and seem normal and composed. Only when you were snuggled underneath your blankets did you allow yourself to let the tears fall freely from your eyes. You were expecting this to stop at some point, but not like that. You were trusting him, you thought he was telling you the truth, you thought that what would separate you would only be the fact that it was impossible, but not that. 

It was so unlike him, always so kind and gentle, always thinking about you and your comfort first. That was surely why you never thought he would do something like that. But after all, you should've seen it coming. This was truly too good to be true, too perfect to last. But you would've wanted it to last for a little longer, for forever. And coming back to reality was hard, it was like waking up from a dream to realise you were only living in a nightmare all this time. That night, you fell asleep with his scent still lingering on your clothes, and dried tears covering your cheeks. 

The next morning, you weren’t doing any better, if not worse. The truth was sinking in, and you were not strong enough to answer his texts yet, leaving him on read and purposely ignoring his demand to see you today. You got up from your bed either way, only because you needed to eat to compensate for your empty heart, and that what Dajeong must have cooked smelled really good. 

“- Wow ! You look like a zombie. A cute zombie, but still a zombie.”

You smiled a little, but it didn’t reach your eyes. You sat down on the stool of the kitchen, watching your roommate finishing up your meal, mind clouded with thoughts of him even if he was the last thing you wanted to think about. 

“- On a serious note, are you alright ?”

The casual question made you tear up again, and you had to take a deep breath so you would not cry again. Dajeong turned off the stove and came to sit down beside you, one hand resting on your shoulder as she encouraged you to talk to her. And you did. You told her everything about what had been going on between Yunho and you for months. It felt like it all started yesterday, like it was only a dream. But with the way it was about to end, you rather have not started this at all. 

“- I would’ve never thought that you would be the type to go out with our teacher. 

- I know. There’s just something about him that I can’t get enough of. I… I think I love him.”

It was the first time you dared to say the words. But it was true. You loved him even if you tried to resist it, even if you tried not to succumb to the temptation he was. But you gave in, and you were happy for as long as it lasted. You knew it would hurt, but you didn’t think it would hurt that much. You underestimated how important he became, how much you relied on him for everything. 

“- And it’s not even the fact that he has a girlfriend or someone else that makes me mad, I was okay with that because I had come to terms with the fact that I will never be more than what we were. But he treated me like I was more, he made me think that he cared about me just to pull out something like that. And I had to find out, he didn’t even have the balls to tell me himself. 

-  He’s a coward, I must admit. And he clearly doesn’t deserve you. He could have never loved you like you need to be loved, you’ll always be a secret with him. It’s better like that. 

- Maybe. But it hurts.”

Some tears escaped your eyes again, and Dajeong didn’t hesitate before pulling you into a tight hug, caressing your head as a way to calm you down. She knew how much a heartbreak could hurt, especially when it ended up like that, especially when it was as intense as what you had. 

“- I know, lovely. It’s gonna take time, but it’s gonna stop hurting eventually. But I think you should talk with him, ask him clearly what’s going on before completely cutting him out of your life. You need closure, you at least deserve that.”

You nodded as Dajeong proposed that you spent the day together, doing some skincare and talking again and again about the same people for the hundredth time while watching some silly movies to cheer you up. And you did exactly that, trying to not think about him for at least one day. You were anxious to go back to class on Monday, fearing that everything would be awkward, or that he would completely ignore you. Somehow, you found the courage to send him a text throughout the weekend, simply to tell him that you needed some space, some time to think about you and him. You didn’t see the point of lying to him, and you silenced his notifications just after. You were strong enough to answer him, but not to witness him pretend and care about you.

Your resolve started to crumble when you saw how miserable he looked the next few days in class. His eye bags were terrible, and he seemed to have lost all his energy. Usually, Yunho would animate all his classes and passionately teach you his subject, but lately, he was only giving you some group work to do, keeping his interventions to a minimum. He spent his time sitting at his desk, either trying to grade some papers or zoning out, looking through the windows. Everytime his sad eyes fell into yours, your heart clenched and ached. But you didn’t have the strength to confront him about what you saw on his phone. You wanted to talk to him, you wanted him to deny, to tell you it was not what you were thinking and that you were the only one - even if you knew it was impossible and that dreaming about it made everything hurt ten times more badly. 

You missed him. You missed hearing his voice, his laugh. You missed his smile, and the dimple he had when you made a terrible joke he couldn’t help giggling at. You missed his touch, the way every time his skin was against yours everything else disappeared. You missed being in his arms, and the sentiment of security it gave you. You simply missed him, and having to see him everyday without being able to look at him for more than a few seconds was a torture. And even if you had unblocked him because you were weak, you continued to ignore every one of his texts and calls either way. It was painful, but a lot less than if he told you face to face that he had someone else, that he lied to you, that he made you fall head over heels for you before fucking it all up, before crushing your heart in between his fingers. 

One day, when you came back to your dorm, you found flowers waiting for you by the door. There was no card with it, but Yunho was the only one who knew that lilies were your favourite flowers. And you cried again when you opened the trash can only to find yourself unable to throw the bouquet away. So you kept it, putting it in a vase and placing it on the kitchen’s counter, seeing him every time you looked at the flowers. 

Another day, when you handed him back an assignment and that your hand brushed against his, it was like time stopped for a moment. Your breath was knocked out of your lungs as you looked up at him, and the plethora of emotions you caught dancing in Yunho’s eyes was enough to bring you back to when he was calling you angel, to when he was treating you like the most beautiful girl in the world. You ran away as quickly as possible, because you were on the verge of telling him that you loved him, and that it would only make things even more complicated than they already were. You felt so stupid for falling for your teacher, but you felt even more ridiculous for believing that you could be more than a side piece to him. 

However, that didn’t stop you from looking at the texts he sent to you, asking you to come meet him in his office because he wanted to explain everything properly. You heard Dajeong words ringing in your head as you took a deep breath and entered the room you had grown familiar with. His scent surrounded you immediately, and Yunho jumped upon your arrival. His glasses were sitting on the bridge of his nose, and his hair were completely dishevelled. You still managed to be smitten by his ethereal beauty. But the way he was looking at you with such desperation forced you to avoid his gaze quickly. 

“- Y/N…”

His voice broke down, and your heart broke too, a little more every time he tried to start a sentence. Yunho wanted to forget everything, to hold you in his arms and promise you the world. But he couldn’t, and the way you were hugging yourself made him want to get down on his knees and beg for your forgiveness. In all honesty, he would do it in the blink of an eye if you asked him, he would do anything if it meant you would forgive him. But it was nearly impossible, and he was well aware of that, but you deserved an explanation - that and so much more. 

“- What did you want to tell me ?”

Your tone was harsher than you wanted it to be, and you didn’t dare look his way, and Yunho didn’t dare make a step in your direction, afraid that you would run away again. But he had to tell you the truth, he had to be honest for once. 

“- It’s not what you think, angel.

- Please, spare me with that, I’m not blind, nor an idiot.

- No, you’re not… And that’s why you deserve to know what is going on. The message you saw the other night was from… My girlfriend.”

You knew it, but to hear him say it was different. It hit exactly the right spot to reopen some wounds that had never healed. You already felt on the verge of tears, but you tried to keep them under control, gripping the handles of your tote bag to ground yourself in reality and brace yourself for what was coming. 

“- But I don’t love her anymore, it's been a long time since I’ve stopped feeling anything for her. We met when we were in highschool, and we were a good match at that time. She was my friend before becoming more, but after all this time, there's nothing left of what I felt for her in the beginning. We were only kids, I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life and my family had already planned my future with her. They want me to marry her. But I don’t, not at all. But if I leave her, I know that they will never want to see me again. So I stayed with her but you made me realise what it was to live and be happy again, and that I don’t want to marry someone I don't genuinely love.”

While he was talking, Yunho took some steps in your direction, trying to maintain eye contact with you even if all he wanted was to slap himself in the face for how stupid he had been to think he could handle this the way he did it, to think that you would never discover his secret. At least, you were here. At least, you were listening to him. It should mean something. It should mean that everything wasn’t over yet, right ? Yunho held on to that, but when he tried to reach for your hand and you took a step back, your eyes glistening with tears, it was hard to believe that everything could be alright. And to know that he was the reason you were crying made him feel even more guilty.

“- I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, angel. I wanted to do it a million times, but I was so afraid of losing what we had, I didn’t want to freak you out. And I couldn’t lose you. You are my oxygen, my breath of fresh air in the middle of all this mess, and I need you. I promise I wanted to tell you everything the night you discovered it. But you became so quiet all of sudden, and when I looked at my phone, I assumed you had seen her text. But I swear on my life, I wanted to tell you. I should’ve never lied to you in the first place, I know that, and you can’t imagine how sorry I am.”

You were now sobbing uncontrollably, trying to cover up your voice with your hand, but the hot tears falling down your cheeks were enough proof of how affected you were. Yunho wanted to cradle you in his arms, to protect you from the world like he always did, but he couldn’t shield you from himself and his mistakes. He was supposed to be your safe place, your comfort zone, not to make you feel like that.

“- Do you understand how bad I felt when I saw this message, Yunho ? I… I knew this wouldn’t last, but to realise that you lied to me all this time was even more painful. You made me believe that we had a future together, and you treated me like your girlfriend even when I was not, even when you had someone waiting for you at home. And it hurts.”

Your voice broke down on the last words. You felt pathetic, some kind of silly, naive girl who couldn’t see what was right in front of her eyes, some kind of idiot who thought that it could end well, that it could end without you suffering too much. 

“- I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. And I’ll spend the rest of my life apologising if that’s what you want. We can have a future together, I want a future with you.

- I can’t see it. I-I can’t ask you to leave her, and to turn your back on your whole family for me. ”

One tear rolled down Yunho’s cheek, and you wanted to wipe it away, but he did it himself before you could do anything. It was better like that. If you felt his skin against yours again, you didn’t know if you would be able to finish what you started. 

“- I could do it. If it’s what it takes to keep you with me I’ll do it. I’ll do anything. I love you, Y/N. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. I love you so bad it makes my heart ache. I’m ready to do everything it takes to be with you. Everything.”

You should’ve been happy to hear these words you were longing for him to say, only weeks prior. But right now, it only broke your heart more, it only pushed the knife a little deeper into your open wounds. 

“- That’s not what I want for you, you deserve better. I don’t want to fuck up your whole life, even if it meant I could love you.

- But you are my whole life, you’re the only thing I need.”

You wanted to believe him. You wanted to say yes so bad. You wanted to fall back into his touch, to fall back into his arms. But you couldn’t. Still, you let him caress your cheek, swiping his thumb against it to get rid of the tears that had dropped there. It was like you could finally breathe, as if the weight on your heart and the knot in your throat had disappeared only because he touched you. He always had that effect on you. But you had to leave, you had to leave or you would cave in and you knew it wasn’t good for you. So you took his hand in yours, pushing it away slowly, as if not to scare him away. You looked up into his teary, brown eyes. It broke your heart to see him in such a state, but you had to think about yourself too. You had to take care of yourself now that he wasn’t here to do that anymore. 

“- I’m sorry, I need some time to think. I’m… Not sure I can love you like this anymore. I’m sorry.”

He tried to smile at you, but it was joyless, without this little sparkle in his eyes that you loved so much. 

“- You don’t have to apologise, angel. You did nothing wrong, I’m the one who fucked up. I’m the only one to blame here. Take all the time you need, I’ll wait for you.”

You nodded, and you finally let go of his hand, painfully slow to feel his touch for as long as possible. You took a last look at him before turning away and unlocking the door of his office. 

“- Goodbye, Yunho.”

It felt like you were saying farewell, and Yunho wanted to run after you, to beg you to let him still be a part of your life. But he had to respect your choice. So he stayed still, standing there as if it could freeze time in place and give him the ability to come back in time and do things differently. But it was too late, and the only thing he could do was give you space and hope you would grant him a second chance, and hope you would be kind enough to forgive him even if he didn’t deserve it at all. 

You thought that clearing up the situation with Yunho would make it easier for you to move on and forget him as you had initially planned, but you clearly were in the wrong. Feeling his eyes on you was even more painful now. But at least, he seemed to have found his energy back. It was the only thing that made you feel a little better. Because you felt like shit, even if you tried to convince yourself that what you did was for the best, that you couldn’t be together, that you had to be sensible, you didn’t want to do all that. You craved his touch, his kisses, his loving gaze. You craved him and his soothing aura. You craved his love. You wanted him back, but everything was so complicated, everything was so messed up, you weren’t even sure it could work. 

Even if Yunho respected your wish for space and time, he still hadn’t stopped texting you throughout your days - reminders for you to drink, eat and rest properly. You never answered but you saw the messages and it was all that mattered to him. And even if he tried to come back to his daily life, to his routine, he couldn’t. You had taken such an important place in his heart that everything felt empty without you and your smile to brighten his world. Nothing felt as appealing as before. Reading couldn’t take his mind out of things anymore, because he could only see your annotations on the ones you had given to him. And everytime he passed by Mrs McMillan bookstore, his thoughts immediately came back to you and how pretty you looked that day. 

So when some colleagues from the university invited him to have some drinks after work, he said yes. Yunho hoped that some alcohol and talking about anything and everything could take his mind off of you. But all it did was make it worse. With each drink, he felt the urge to call you even stronger. All he wanted was to at least hear your voice, hear his name fall from your lips, see your face, even if the pain he caused was written all over it. 

“- Angel…

- Yunho ? Why are you calling me ? Is there something wrong.”

He sighed in relief at finally hearing your voice ringing in his ears again, at finally hearing you say his name. He preferred the surname you had granted him, but he would take everything that you were willing to give him. 

“- I just… I miss you, and I need you, and I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you again. Because I feel like I didn’t apologise enough.

- It’s okay, I swear. I told you I need some time. Everything is…. Puzzling.

- Still, I’m sorry. 

- I know you are.”

There was silence, but the fact that you hadn’t hung up yet made a little bit of hope blossom in his heart. Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe there was still a world in which you could grant him your forgiveness. 

“- I can’t imagine my life without you. I tried. But I can’t. I need you, angel.

- You know that we can’t, that I can’t. You have a girlfriend, and your family, a career. I can’t just come in and mess up everything.

- I don’t care about all of that. If I’m with you it’s worth it. Please, angel, let me at least see you, even if it’s the last time I get to have you. I want you, one last time. After that, I’ll let you go if that’s what you really want, and I promise you will never have to worry about me again.”

You stayed silent for a while again, your defeated sigh being the only noise echoing through the line.

“- Okay. But this is the last time.”

However, when you joined him in the hotel room you had grown familiar with, you didn’t want it to be the last time. You wanted to stay in his arms forever. You didn’t talk, afraid of the things you could say, afraid you would beg him to stay, to come back, to do exactly what he swore he would do if only you asked him. But you tried not to think about that as you let him kiss you tenderly, as if you were going to break under his touch. And you might, because you needed him so bad it made everything hurt when he was not there.

No words were exchanged as you got rid of your clothes. No words were exchanged when you pushed him down onto the bed and straddled his thighs. No words were needed when you kissed him for the first time in weeks. It felt like you could both finally breathe, like you felt alive again, and it made all the pain go away for just a moment. 

“- I missed you, angel, missed you so fucking much…

- Me too, Yu.”

This was all you were able to say before he shut you up with another desperate kiss, making out with you as if it was the last time he got to have your lips on his - and maybe it would be. So you just decided to shut off your brain, simply running your hands through his hair and thinking about nothing else. You wanted to take your time and appreciate his touch, his eyes and the way he was moaning under your hands, but it felt like you were in a hurry, quickly discarding both of your underwear and sinking down on his cock. You gripped his shoulders, closing your eyes as you let yourself bask into the feeling of finally being full. But your desire took over you, grinding on his dick desperately.

And Yunho couldn’t look at your face, couldn’t see your beautiful eyes without thinking back to them filling up with tears the day he messed up everything between the two of you. But his body was overwhelmed by the feeling of you wrapped around him after weeks of only being able to look at you from afar, relying on his souvenirs to remember what it felt like to kiss you. He desperately wanted to engrave your face in his memories and keep it there forever, but it was too hard. So instead, he just flipped you over the bed, burying his head in your neck to not be tempted to cross your gaze anymore. But his hands still found their way to yours, fingers intertwining as he sped up the pace of his thrusts, both of you moaning in harmony. 

It wasn’t as intimate or as emotional as Yunho wanted your last time together to be like. But the alcohol was clouding his mind even more than everything he felt for you, and the urge to make you his - even if you weren’t, and that you would never be - was taking over him more and more with every clench of your cunt around him. 

“- Fuck, angel… Tell me you love me please…”

You didn’t want to, because you knew how that would make both of you feel, but the words spilled out from your lips before you could stop it, squeezing his hands tighter. 

“- I love you, I love you so much…”

It was enough for Yunho to feel a rush of emotions and desire flood through his veins, his thrusts becoming sloppy and losing any kind of rhythm. It all felt too much, from the way he was hitting your sweet spot to the way his little whines mixed with “i love you”’s that made your heart throb and your mind wanting to hear more of them. It all felt too much to the point you felt on the verge of tears as he laid on top of you, trying to regain some consciousness. But you were fully aware of everything that had just happened, and even if you wanted nothing more than to spend another night in his arms, you knew it wouldn’t do you any good. So you stayed like that until he fell asleep, murmuring again and again against your skin how much you meant to him, that he needed you. And then you ran away, putting your clothes back on in a hurry and checking out your appearance in the mirror of the elevator you had grown familiar with. Except that this time, there was nothing left from the joyful sparkle that usually brightened your eyes whenever you left the hotel. All you could see was how miserable he made you once again, all you could see were the tears cascading down your cheeks and along the marks he left on your neck. You slapped your hand on your mouth, pathetically trying to cover up your sobs. It hurt even more than that day, for some reasons. It all hurt too much to hold it in. 

When Yunho woke up in the morning to an empty bed, he was not surprised, but he was still disappointed. He wished he could have woken up one last time to your pretty and relaxed face, he wished he could have held you through the night one last time. Even if it happened only a few times, when you were too tired to go back to your dorms, it still felt incredibly right to open his eyes and see you all cuddled up against him. Getting up and leaving the room he had so many memories in revealed to be a lot more difficult than he thought it would have been. He took his time getting dressed and making sure he didn’t forget anything before slowly closing the door behind him. Taking a quick look at his reflection in the elevator’s mirror like you did only a few hours ago was enough to notice how wretched he was. His hair were a mess, his eye bags were even worse than a few days before despite him having overslept, and his clothes were wrinkled. But the way it was written all over his face was even more telling. 

The ride back to his apartment was like a walk of shame - because he had promised to his girlfriend that he would be back before 2am, because he made you suffer again, because he felt like shit, like there was no escape from this situation he put himself in. Yunho only had time to hope that Hana was still asleep but as soon as he opened the door, she jumped from her spot on the couch where she had apparently spent a lot of time worrying, seeing how panicked she seemed. 

“- Where were you !? You told me you would be back last night and it’s fucking 10am, Yunho !”

Her anger was totally justified, but the only thing he wanted to do right now was to just be swallowed by the floor, or to curl up in his bed and not get up for the next three years. 

“- I’m sorry, baby, I…

- You what !? It’s the fourth time you’re pulling something like that on me this month, what is going on !?”

Yunho was ready to serve her another well prepared lie, the ones he kept on telling her since he started ditching her to be with you. But he just couldn’t bring himself to say that they all got back to one of his coworkers apartment to keep drinking after the bar closed, and that his phone died so he couldn’t warn her about it, and that he was too drunk and out of his mind to think about borrowing one of his colleagues’. He couldn’t lie to her right now, he couldn’t anymore. And as if it was now a habit every time you sneaked into his mind, he felt tears prickling his eyes, dropping his head low like the coward he was because he couldn’t bear to see her hurt, to see her crying because of him too. And as it had become quite usual for him through the course of these last weeks, apologies slipped past his lips. 

“- I’m sorry Hana, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry… 

- Yunho… Tell me what happened, talk to me. You’ve been so distant and quiet lately, it’s not like you to be so… So absent.”

He wanted to answer, to finally tell her the truth, to tell her everything, but he couldn’t get any word to leave his mouth, only quiet sobs resonating in the hallway as he tried to stop the tears from running down his cheeks. Slowly, Hana got closer to him, taking his hands in hers and guiding him to the couch where he sat down without any resistance and let her pull him into a hug. She could hear his voice shaking and breaking down everytime he let out another apology. It took a long moment for Yunho to finally be able to calm down and find his words back. And when he did, it didn’t make things easier, it didn’t make telling her easier. 

“- I… I met someone.”

The sad but knowing smile spreading on her lips told him everything he needed to know. Because, of course, she was not dumb. Of course, she had understood a long time ago what was going on. Of course, Yunho was the only asshole, the only one to blame for everything he put her, and you, through. 

“- I expected you to say that. 

- I’m so fucking sorry, Hana. I never meant for that to happen, I hadn’t even thought about doing that before I met her. And once it started I couldn’t stop, and when I wanted to tell you everything, it was already too late to not hurt you, and I just got carried away. I’m sorry, I really didn-

- Stop ! Just… Stop.”

So Yunho did, anxiously watching her as she ran a hand through her hair, probably trying to come up with an easy way to tell him that he was a bastard. Which he was, to be honest. 

“- I’m not an idiot. I know that you stopped loving me years ago, Yunho. And I’m not blind either, I saw how you got that sparkle in your eyes back one day, and I knew very well it was not because of me. And before you say anything about being sorry, I know it. I know you are, and I know that you wouldn’t have wanted to hurt me even if I’m just a friend in your eyes. 

- Hana…

- Don’t look at me like that, it’s not a big deal. We’ve been a couple since highschool, it was impossible for us to keep on loving each other until the end of times. I stopped feeling any romantic feelings a while ago, too. Our families are simply what they are, and we can’t change them. But I’m kind of glad you gave us a valid excuse to break up.”

Yunho couldn’t help the giggles that escaped him. She always had that dark humour that he loved so much, and that nobody got except for him and her. 

“- You did not just forgive me for cheating on you because you wanna break up, right ?

- Oh, I certainly did !”

Both of them laughed it off, and it was like a weight was lifted off of his chest, like he could finally breathe a little better. Not as well as when he was with you, but it was a little less bad, now. 

“- You’re sure you wanna do this ? You know how much trouble we’re gonna get into if we break up, right ?

- I know, and trust me when I tell you that I’ve thought about it a lot before. And I’m ready, I don’t want them to dictate my life anymore. I think you can understand that better than everyone else.

- Yeah.”

Silence fell back onto the room, and Yunho never felt more at home in his own apartment than after having agreed to break up with his years-long relationship. But he knew it was better like that, knew that they both needed to finally close this chapter of their life and take a new beginning. 

“- We’re still friends, though, right ? I still need to hear you spill all the tea about your weird coworkers.”

Hana laughed loudly, and the smile spreading on her lips had never been this wide since so much time that he almost forgot what she looked like when she was happy. 

“- Of course ! And I wanna know all the updates about that girl, because she must be brave to want to engage in a relationship with you.”

It was his turn to smile and let happiness fill him again. Why he waited so much time to finally be honest with her when it was clear that they had no feelings for each other anymore would certainly forever be an enigma. But at least, they were both free. At least, Hana could find someone that will truly love her, that will love her like she deserved to be loved. And Yunho didn’t know if that would be enough to convince you that he was serious about you, that he truly loved you, but he had to try. Because you were worth every tear he shed, and all the pain in the world. He would go through these weeks of anguish again and again if it meant you would take him back. 

But Yunho had always been a gentleman - and yeah, it was ironic to describe himself like that after everything he had done - and he let you have as much time as you needed, as much space as you asked for. And even when the urge of letting you know about everything that happened was strong, he resisted the temptation to call you, or to send you a text he knew you would not read because you stopped doing that since that night. 

Everytime his gaze crossed yours in class, it was as if the first time he kissed you in that empty classroom replayed in his mind, it was as if he could still see himself wearing his leather jacket more often only because it still smelled like you and your perfume, it was as if he could still hear you say you loved him for the first time. Everytime his gaze crossed yours in class, he wished you wouldn’t shy away, he wished you wouldn’t look so hurt, he wished he could go back in time and not do all the mistakes he did, he wished he could do everything right and make you happy, and love you right. 

Still, he let you run away after every class so you wouldn’t risk staying in his presence too much. Still, he let you slip through his hands a little more every time you answered his questions about books he had given to you without that energy and passion you had when it was only the two of you in that hotel room, when everything was still perfect. But it also felt like if he didn’t do something right now, you were gonna leave and never come back in his life. He had to do something, he had to stop being a loser, he had to show you that you were never the second choice. 

You were surprised to find another bouquet of lilies on your doorstep before going to class on a random Wednesday. It had been weeks since you last talked to him outside of classes, and it had been more than two months since you last looked at his texts. You weren’t strong enough to block his number again, but you tried not to open the messages anymore. This time there was something written on a little note ; him asking you to meet him by the hill he showed you the night it all went down if you were willing to listen to him, and that if you didn’t come, he would understand that you didn’t want to see him again and that he would leave you alone, no questions asked. 

You thought that you would hesitate more, but in your heart, you had already made the decision to go as soon as you saw the bouquet of your favourite flowers he managed to remember even months after you told him. When you parked your car at the spot he had showed you, his was already there. Yunho was waiting for you, contemplating the cityscape, leaning against the hood of his car, hands in the pockets of his black pants, his white tee moving along with the wind. He looked good in anything, but these simple outfits were always making him look so cosy that you wanted nothing more than snuggling in his arms. 

The warmer wind of the end of spring hit your face as soon as you put your feet outside, the breeze making your hair and the skirt of your flowy dress fly around like you were in some type of dramatic movie. Expect that in those, it always ended well, and that you knew for a fact that your happy end was impossible. But Yunho turned to look at you almost in slow motion, and this time, you couldn’t avoid his intense stare, and this time, you wanted to dive back into whatever the two of you had. 

“- You came.”

His voice was steady, but you could still hear the relief seeping through his words.

“- You asked.”

It was as simple as that, as simple as breathing and walking, as simple as reading and writing. He asked, he called, and you were there in a heartbeat because you would sell your soul for him. 

“- We broke up. We agreed that we didn’t love each other anymore for a long time, and that it was the best decision for both of us.”

You wanted to be sarcastic, wanted to tell him something along the lines of “you want a medal or something”, but it was only because you didn’t know how to deal with that information. Because you didn’t know if it meant anything to him, if it meant anything to you. Before you could think about a kinder response, Yunho continued. 

“- I told you I was willing to do everything if it meant I could be with you, and I was serious. This is the first step, and I’m gonna go all the way even if you’re not willing to give me a second chance because you made me realise how wrong I was all this time.

- But you have a family, friends and a job. You won’t give all that up for me, I don’t want you to. 

- Angel, I’m taking all these risks because it’s for you, because I want you to see that I’m ready to do anything it takes to be with you, and that I’ll keep proving that you didn’t make a mistake by choosing me if you’re letting me come back into your life. My family gave up on me a long while ago, it’s only time for them to understand everything they put me through. And I believe that my friends will be wise enough to choose to support me, because you’re my happiness, and that’s what they should wish for me. 

- Yes, but you’ll still be my teacher. 

- I’ve been your teacher until then and it didn’t cause any problems, did it ? And even if I got in trouble, I know we would figure something out. You mean everything to me Y/N, and I will spend the rest of my life making myself worthy of you if you let me because I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else before.”

Your mind wanted you to say no, but your heart was begging for you to say yes, to give in, to let yourself be happy. And for once, you decided to stop being reasonable. For once, you decided to let things go, to let him guide you through it, to let yourself live.

“- You already are. You’ve always been worthy of me, Yu. I-I love you too, I love you so much.”

This time, when tears started to run down your cheeks, Yunho didn’t hesitate one second before pulling you into his arms, running his fingers against your back to soothe you. The way you immediately circled his waist to have him closer to you made his heartbeat pick up, and you chuckled lightly against his chest when you noticed it. And you stayed like that for who knows how long. The only thing you were aware of was that you’ve never felt as good as when you were in his arms. And maybe it was wrong, maybe it was a mistake. But it felt just right, it clicked perfectly, like the last pieces of a puzzle you had forgotten on your desk for years and that you finally came back to complete only now. When you raised your head to look him in the eyes, Yunho smiled, and you couldn’t help doing the same, especially when he kissed your forehead, and then your nose, and then your lips. 

“- In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

You wanted to slap him for being so cheesy, but the way your heart missed a couple of beats at the intensity with which he was looking into your eyes rendered you unable to talk, unable to think about some quote to say back to him. 

“- If you keep on confessing to me like that, I might give in, you know…

- Don’t worry about that, angel, I have a ton of citations you’re gonna love.”

His boyish grin made you smile wider, and you couldn’t help the urge to kiss him again, because now you had the right to do so. Being the teacher’s pet had its downsides, but in terms of love confessions, you were certain that Yunho would never run out of ideas. And you were okay with that, because as long as he was with you and that you were with him, there was no way something would go wrong. You smiled at him, and he smiled at you, and as the sun set behind you like in the romance movies you despised, you thought that maybe, happy endings were not so bad in the end, especially when you were the one getting kissed passionately at the end of the film.

-> i don't allow any copies, translations or reposts of my work.

-> moon dividers by @samspenandsword

ateez masterlist (fill in this to be added) :

@sharonxdevi @hann1bee @lil-kpopstan @foxinnie8 @riraives

Here’s an animation meme that was popular on the clock app a couple months ago featuring Anders.

starting the song of achilles. i’ve heard good things about it (and by that i mean it made a lot of people cry). idk what else to say besides the fact that i’m a little scared but very excited to read this.

future me, thoughts?

two days later (i think) and i’m back and ready to ramble! also, spoilers ahead.

i smiled a lot and squealed a little as i read, so nothing out of the ordinary. now i’m gonna drop some lines from the book...

His gaze, which had been following the circling fruit, flickered to mine. I did not have time to look away before he said, softly but distinctly, “Catch.” A fig leapt from the pattern in a graceful arc towards me. It fell into the cup of my palms, soft and slightly warm.

what was this. this. this made me squeal and i’m still not sure why. maybe it’s bc i would’ve squealed if i’d seen this in person... (also, i’m now realizing i don’t really like the way “squeal” looks.) but the FIGS the figs the figs!!

“Show me your hand.”

I did, palm out. He rested his own palm against it.

i liked this. yup, i did.

His lips were parted slightly, an arm thrown carelessly above his head. He looked different in sleep, beautiful but cold as moonlight. I found myself wishing he would wake so that I might watch the life return.

HELLO do you hear me screaming??? that last line in particular got me.

This morning he had leapt onto my bed and pressed his nose against mine. “Good morning,” he’d said. I remembered the heat of him against my skin.

i’m so... my heart was so warm. this made me so happy. it was just a “good morning” and a touch, but it was so innocent and sweet.

He ran at me, pushed me backwards onto my cot. Leaned over me. ... His hair fell around me, and I could smell nothing but him.

this... this seemed a little less innocent but still innocent imo... also got me smiling like an idiot. anyways...

He watches me. It seems that he is waiting.

he was always waiting for him to be ready. for him to realize that he’s ready. for him to take that small step. achilles was so patient with patroclus. and then the KISS omg that got me. i knew (more like hoped) it was coming but i still let my jaw drop. and when achilles ran off, i knew why... they were on the beach. but it was still upsetting. and my jaw dropped again when thetis lifted patroclus off his feet, hand around his throat.

“Patroclus.” Pa-tro-clus.

I did not move.

The knees lifted, and hands reached down to turn me, gently, over. Achilles was looking down at me.

“I hoped that you would come,” he said.

i thought patroclus wouldn’t be able to catch up to achilles but achilles actually waited for him!! he didn’t wanna go without him!!

Achilles’ eyes were bright in the firelight, his face drawn sharply by the flickering shadows. I would know it in dark or disguise, I told myself. I would know it even in madness.

this made me heart thump so fast. also when they talked about how much they’ve changed physically... and achilles traced parts of patroclus... YUP.

“You would not be displeased, I think. With how you look now.”

this. this is a great way to tell patroclus that you think he’s attractive. almost seemed nonchalant.

I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.

this made me feel so many things. oh to know and love another person like this.

and then the prophecy... hector... and this line:

“Well, why should I kill him? He’s done nothing to me.”

somehow... i had this feeling... i went, yeah, achilles, you keep telling yourself that.

I thought, This is what Achilles will feel like when he is old. And then I remembered: he will never be old.

ouch.

His gaze was on me always, preternaturally sensing the moment when a soldier’s eyes widened at the easy target I presented. Before the man drew another breath, he would cut him down.

yes yes yes. i loved this. achilles literally protecting patroclus on the battlefield, like it’s primal.

His hands were in his lap, spear-callused but beautiful still. No hands had ever been so gentle, or so deadly.

patroclus has seen so many men fall at the hands of achilles. he saw, firsthand, the strength, speed, and accuracy of those hands and he still thinks of them as beautiful, gentle and kind.

but y’all... my heart dropped when patroclus said:

“... Put me in your armor, and I will lead the Myrmidons.”

he froze the first time he stepped onto the battlefield. i don’t blame him at all, but then he wanted to throw himself headfirst into battle. i thought, this isn’t gonna end well, he’s gonna die the second he steps out there. he’ll trip or drop his spear and it’ll be over... but he actually fought and he did it well. it was as if he was possessed by achilles, just by wearing his armor, which sounds pretty incredible.

but then he tries to climb the walls of troy??? idk what possessed him to do that, and then apollo... and then hector... and then pain. and patroclus couldn’t even rest peacefully bc he wasn’t buried properly bc achilles wouldn’t let him (or rather, his body) go. and when patroclus visits(?) achilles in his sleep and asks him to bury his body... and achilles wakes up and weeps over the body... y’all...

and achilles returned hector’s body, which made me a bit emotional. and then he burned patroclus’s body and collected the ashes himself and asked to be buried with him... that made me a bit more emotional.

and then apollo again and paris with the arrow... and i thought, well at least they’re together now. and they can rest peacefully, but nope. first it was:

His ashes settle among mine, and I feel nothing.

and then it was:

“A slave has no place in his master’s tomb. If the ashes are together, it cannot be undone, but I will not allow my father’s fame to be diminished. The monument is for him, alone.”

that hurt, especially bc patroclus saw this happening and couldn’t do anything about it. and then poor briseis... i liked her and i’m glad patroclus helped her. i wasn’t very surprised when she kissed him though, kinda expected it seeing as he saved her and was very kind to her. and she was pretty brave.

anyways, patroclus bonded with thetis??? and she added his name to the grave?? and (basically) sent him off to achilles!!!!

and then they finally meet again and it’s really sweet and i’m really happy for them... but there were little tears, which i don’t understand. maybe my brain is still trying to process this... but either way, it was a beautiful book. (maybe i’ll reread it one day.)