Ignore This - Tumblr Posts
Moody, caffeine-fueled late-night diary post. Pretend I'm not here.
I've had quite enough of almost-right, of over-compensating for problems people haven't noticed yet. Maybe the problem is that I never offer up any -me- for people to know about. I give them plenty of other things to know about, like Spanish verb structure and the personal habits of reptiles. But no me. I can sometimes gather all the information I need to know whether or not to trust somebody in a week. But they can't tell about me. Somebody called it mysterious. I call it hiding something. What am I hiding? It's like I'm insecure about my insecurities.
People in their element are like people outside at sunset, except when they're in their element it's their personalities that look beautiful. You can tell they're truly happy and that they're excited to share that joy with someone else. That's probably the easiest way to fall for somebody, is to catch them at the one thing they love the most and share it with them. It's not real, though. I wish it were.
Too quiet. I feel too quiet, like a corpse. Like a suburban block without a dog. Like a row of foreclosed homes, with their little paper notices hanging up like sticker tags on dollhouses. It's unlike me not to be worked up about anything.
Today (or, I guess, yesterday) I saw two kids pelt a seedling-green frog with rocks by a decorative pond. A smooth stone greater in mass than the frog itself struck it in the skull, and the frog sank beneath the water. It didn't come back up. The children's mother paid no attention to their actions until I ran and stopped them from gathering more rocks. They were laughing.
questioning system culture is being forgetful a bunch and figuring its normal since everyones a bit forgetful and then thinking back and realising oH SHIT I CANT REMEMBER LIKE HALF OF MY LIFE WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN
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_________________________________ Quotev | Ao3
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I am fully prepared to make courting rituals part 3 into just Sebek.
Ya'll want all of Diasomnia tho :( (-Silver. We need more silver content though... I'll just make an imagine for him later)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I kinda understand PMMM rebellion now and now Im just waiting for the new movie
I'm just here to say....
Hagakure looks pretty.
I will not talk about the pain today. Maybe tomorrow. Today, I'll pretend I know nothing. I'm legally blind today.
Me: I’m bi.
Some random homophobe: you’re going to hell then.
Me: this isn’t hell?
This is why I hate the debate of Dazai would choose Oda over Chuuya. Would he really? because I feel like without Chuuya he wouldn't even have considered Oda request.
Oda's request would have just proved Dazai's (suicidal) point that life means nothing, that it doesn't matter what side you're on, or whether you're a good or bad person.
But since Chuuya made him WANT to live, is why he considered that request, because Dazai knows that life isn't completely meaningless, Chuuya showed him that.
Because Chuuya showed Dazai that life is somewhat worth living, that makes it easier for Dazai to consider oda's request, because it wasn't about just doing good because there no meaning, it's about finding more meaning in the thing that you never considered exploring.
For all we know Dazai's life has been bad to say something, Chuuya was a highlight of the little good he had in his life and was a beacon of the present good in it, while oda's request was casting light on the possible good in the future.
So to reiterate, Dazai wouldn't choose Oda over Chuuya, because without Chuuya, Dazai wouldn't have been alive to meet him, much less care about him or Ango.
The same way that Chuuya wouldn't choose the Mafia over Dazai, if force to pick between the two Chuuya would pick Dazai without second thought, Chuuya would destroy the world and himself for Dazai. Chuuya may be loyal to the Mafia but his loyalty lays with Dazai.
And Dazai may have left the Mafia and followed Oda's dying wish, but Dazai never risks Chuuya, Dazai is willing to let Oda's wish burn with the world for Chuuya. Hell Dazai was ready to let Yokohama get destroyed just to prove that Chuuya human, why would Dazai care that Chuuya human? Because Chuuya cares about whether or not he's human, so it matters to Dazai.
Dazai is Chuuya's humanity, and Chuuya wants so desperately to be human, Dazai ability is truly a gift to him, and one he adores full heartedly
Chuuya is Dazai's reason to live, not much to say to it, Chuuya highlights the good that Dazai struggles too see, he makes Dazai consider things he thought useless, and he lets Dazai feel more comfortable in the fact that his existence doesn't have to have meaning. (And Chuuya ability is something that Dazai finds beauty in, it something he finds mesmerizing to the point where he can just stop and stare and just forget about all the bad things even for just a moment)
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Tldr: Oda just gave him something to fill his need for a meaning to life and living, while Chuuya makes him not care/think about whether life needs meaning or not to live.
Chuuya made Dazai want to live.
Oda made Dazai want to change.
Hi
hey so this is a test to see if I can actually post anything at all, then imma make like an about me post and tHen post smth i was working on (the thing wasn't posting earlier so im making sure I can post lol it mighta been too long for poor tumblr to keep up haha)
Hi
hey so this is a test to see if I can actually post anything at all, then imma make like an about me post and tHen post smth i was working on (the thing wasn't posting earlier so im making sure I can post lol it mighta been too long for poor tumblr to keep up haha)
Yay! A new design for my page!
RIP old one: 2013-2017
CAT IN DA ELEVATOR
HE RIDE WITH ALEXO IN DA ELEVATOR
WHY? YOU ASK
CAUSE HES A CAT IN DA ELEVATOR
@pmseymourva
Mr Stan is currently unavailable at the moment but will be arriving shortly! I’ll make sure to let him know how patient you have been.