Illicitaffairspart2 - Tumblr Posts

ILLICIT AFFAIRS (pt 2)

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader

warning: mentions of sexual themes, angst

note: there will be another part, because it just fits better that way

summary: you don't have much time left to make your relationship public, will Anthony Lockwood comply?

find part one here

you looked down the hall, making sure no one would see you leave Anthony Lockwoods room. the halls were clear and you quietly closed the door turning around and walking against your sister

“y/n!” she exclaimed surprised

“hey Penny” you smiled, stepping a feet to the left to distract her from the fact that you had just left the room of your boyfriend— or better — secret boyfriend

“what were you doing in Anthony Lockwoods room?” she crossed her arms. you should’ve known that it was to no use to lie so you sighed.

before you could answer, she had looked you up and down, noticing your disheveled hair and clothes, and that one strap of your bra was hanging in the mid of your arm, you pulled it up quickly and blushed under her eyes

“oh” she just said, turning angry in the next second, she tried to step around you and enter his room, to probably cuss him out, but you grabbed her arm before she could do so

“he’s showering” you just muttered. it was to no use to say anything else. what she assumed was right, you didn’t need to lie to her

“and he’s—“

“my boyfriend” you concluded

“i already suspected something was going on, all the sneaking out was quite obvious”

“sorry” you smiled softly “i’m not good at climbing out a window so it had to be the front door”

“well, why didn’t you just tell us?” she didn’t seem as angry as before, maybe hurt

“he didn’t want me to” you shrugged “he thought that if it came out then everyone would think he was just where he was because of me and not because of his skill, also he thinks that our relationship wouldn’t be permitted by you, or more so mum and dad”

“sounds reasonable” Penelope seemed to understand where you were coming from. that’s why you had always gotten along great, but now you noticed the worry. “you know that there’s not much time left, right?”

you nodded, sadly, “that’s what i’ve been trying to tell him. but he won’t let me, he doesn’t like to talk about making us public and i respect that, but”

“but there are certain things that come with being a Fittes”

“yes” your lips curved down as you nodded your head “but there’s some time left, Penny and once i tell him, i think dad would deem Anthony as a rightful husband, once the time comes to get married”

“no” Penelope breathed “you don’t understand, y/n. it’s already too late. you’d have to tell dad tonight or else—“ a shiver ran down your spine as your sister looked to the floor

“what is it?” you asked lowly

“Henry Rottwell, he’s here”

“what?” tears glistened in your eyes, as it felt like you had just lost your footing. you grabbed Penelope’s arm tightly, in fear you would fall down if you’d let go.

“but i’m not even eighteen yet”

“dad wants you to have a long engagement, just like James and i had”

“oh god” you breathed “i have to” you turned your head towards the door, leaving the rest of your sentence unfinished

Penelope nodded “tell him everything and make sure that he knows how urgent the situation is”

“but what if that won’t change anything?”

“it will, if he loves you”

“but what if he doesn’t, what do i do then?”

“as much as that may hurt, then you will accept Henry’s proposal and have a happy marriage with him, maybe even a loving one, one day”

“but is maybe enough?”

“it is” she smiled assuringly “but it will always be worth more to have him say those three words” she pointed at the door and took your shoulders, softly pushing you towards it

you knocked and waited impatiently, while Penelope walked down the long hall.

Anthony’s hair was still wet and his tie untied when the door swung open

“n/n!” he exclaimed surprsised and it was like before your world had began to burn

“hi” you replied softly and Anthony’s face grew worried as he noticed the tears streaming down your face. “can i come in?”

“of course” he stepped aside, waiting until you had settled down on the bed, before he sat down across from you

“what is it, love?”

“Penelope saw me leaving your room”

“oh no” he said, already jumping to a conclusion about the nature of your visit

“that’s not the problem”

“it isn’t? but you do want to talk about it again, don’t you?”

“yes—“

“we’ve been through this, y/n” he sighed “actually we’ve been through this just this morning”

“yeah, but this morning i wasn’t about to be shipped off and get married to Rottwell jr” you replied sarcastically, your anger about the situation taking the better if you

“what?” Anthony asked stunned

“sorry, i—“ you breathed, trying to sort your thoughts “it’s just a lot right now. my father is a fan of arranged marriages. first my brother had one, then my sister and now it’s my turn”

“oh” Anthony said “i knew your family was old—fashioned, but that old—fashioned, really?”

“i thought i had time left, Anthony, i really did. and i know that if i told my father about us, he would eventually accept our relationship and we could get married some day”

“so we’d have to get married in a few months or what?”

“no, we could have a long engagement and get married after i finished college”

“and then what? we buy a nice house, settle down and have children?” your heart fluttered, because you thought that he was warming up to the idea

“yeah, eventually”

“i don’t want that, y/n” Anthony said and you swore that you could feel your heart break in that very moment

“what?” you asked, unsure if you had heard him right

“that’s not the life i want, n/n” he repeated

“that’s not the life you want? or that’s not the life you want with me?” you hoped he would say something, anything, but he kept quiet, which was answer enough

“do you love me, Anthony Lockwood?” you asked standing up from his bed, another set of tears streaming down your cheeks, as you watched his eyes find the floor beneath you. “do you want me to get married to some douchebag and be shipped off to god knows where? do you want that?”

“of course i don’t, but at least you’d have anything you’d need. with a husband like Henry Rottwell, there’s nothing in your way”

“but i don’t want that, i only want you”

“yeah, maybe now”

“not just now, okay? i love you” you started sobbing and your heart broke even more at his expression. he smiled softly, like he was trying to soothe you, like it wasn’t even hard for him

“it’ll go away” he said softly and you looked at him in betrayal

“do you love me?” you repeated the question from earlier and the silence that followed pierced through your heart like a gun that had been fired at you. “i’ll leave you to it then” you muttered quietly and you could’ve sworn that it would’ve taken you longer to leave the room than it actually did, considering all the pieces of your heart, you had to pick off the floor and fit back into your chest.

maybe those pieces just stayed there with him, in this room, in this house that had caused you pain, now that you learned what it felt like to have loved and lost.

maybe Penelope was right and that maybe that you would have with Henry Rottwell would be enough. it probably would never be like what you had with Anthony, but you had no other choice.

at least you knew Henry, he was nice for the most part, a bit pretentious at times, but he was alright and he respected you, at least you would marry a friend and maybe you could even love him some day.

ILLICIT AFFAIRS (part three)

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader

warning: angst

note: at the end of this part, you will be able to choose your own ending!! and I'm so sorry this took me so long to finish

summary: it's too late, Anthony has made his decision and you're ready to accept your destiny

part one, part two

taglist: @cat-lockwood @theamuz @archiveoftara

not long after your conversation, Penelope had come to your room to help you get ready. she had dried your tears and helped you to slip into another uncomfortable dress, that was so tight, it would hopefully hold you together, at least for tonight.

she had took you into her arms, to show her love and her sympathy, you watched her as she tidied the table and packed away the make-up she had brought, she was the future you had ahead of you.

she had married James years ago, and you loved him like he was your real brother. you knew that Penelope loved him now too. maybe you could love Henry one day.

"ready?" your sister asked softly, studying your form. before you could answer, there was a knock at the door, you rose to your feet as your face lightened up and Penelope watched your expression change, when it was only James in front of the door.

she swore her heart broke a little for you.

she watched as James hugged you and you seemed to find a little bit of peace in the arms of a man you had looked up to for so long, even if it wasn't the one you had been wishing for.

you walked into your bathroom to get your purse as Penelope and James talked quietly in the other room

"how is she?" Penelope had told her husband what had happened about an hour before

"one moment she seems like she is fine, and then I watch her face get hopeful at the mere thought that he might change his mind"

"he won't, will he?"

Penelope shrugged "I don't know him. she showed me a few photos and talked about him highly, but does he really love her if he lets her suffer like that?"

"I don't know" James showed her a high lipped smile "maybe he thinks that's best for her, I mean I didn't always knew it, but I know that you're best for me, maybe she will experience the same with Henry some day"

"hopefully" Penelope nodded

you walked back into the room and send them both a big smile, that was even faker then londons claim to solve the problem until next year. "can we?" you asked and James and Penelope send each other a look, that you missed because you had already walked to the door, waiting on them to follow you downstairs.

"where's Matthew?" you asked as you three walked down the hallway. normally your brother would be joined by his wife, Sarah. but she was heavily pregnant, so he would be attending alone this year

"probably already downstairs, he wanted to see your earlier, but I thought you had enough on your plate then"

"thank you" you send her a tight lipped smile, which she couldn't quiet tell was real.

"oh my beautiful daughters, evening James" your father greeted upon your arrival in one of the private family rooms.

you smiled at your family, no one really noticed that you tried your best to hold back tears.

“y/n! hello” your brother stepped forward and engulfed you in a hug. you broke it as fast as possible nearly breaking down in the comforting arms.

your brother looked at you weird, but before he could say something else, your mother had replaced him, inspecting your dress. “an old one of Penelope? beautiful my dear” she nodded approvingly and you turned to look at your sister, who smiled in relief.

“sha’ll we?” your father outstretched his arm, so your mother could take it. James and Penelope did the same and Matthew stepped next to your side.

“if it’s alright if i’m bringing you out tonight?”

you smiled, gladly taking his offer, you felt like you needed somebody next to you tonight.

your family walked down the hallway and down the stairs. “i know something’s bothering you, y/n”

despite you having a rather big age difference to your siblings - 7 years to Penelope and 9 years to Matthew - you three had always been close. and each one of you could tell when something was wrong with one of your siblings.

“yeah, actually” you smiled bitterly, trying to bite back the tears “i’m supposed to get engaged tonight”

“what?” exclaimed Matthew loudly, stopping in the middle of the way. to your luck, your family didn’t notice that.

“it’s alright”

Matthew shook his head “no it’s not! you’re way too young and by the time it would be your turn i would’ve been able to convince dad that you wouldn’t have to go through with it”

you smiled at him, sadly. “oh, matty” you gulped “you would do that for me? even if it would be totally unfair to you and Penelope? you had to go through with it, why shouldn’t i?”

“because i don’t want this for you, n/n. i hope that you’ll be able to make your own decisions once the time comes, and surely not when you’re barely seventeen.”

“it’s not that bad, Matthew. it’s gonna be Henry Rottwell, i know him”

“yeah, but do you love him?”

you and Matthew had begun to walk again, quickly catching up to your family

“no, not him”

“not him?”

“it doesn’t matter, it’s over and too late anyway”

"you know, you can tell me anything, right?"

you just nodded and Matthew sighed, accepting the fact that you wouldn't lose another word about what or better, who was bothering you.

"good evening" your father said loudly as your family entered the big ball room. the guests cheered upon your arrival and you looked around the room, trying to find Anthony, you weren't able though.

the party had been going on for a few hours, you mostly had spent it in your siblings company, not keen on talking to any strange people tonight.

it was then, that your father wanted to talk to you in another room. Henry Rottwell was there when you entered and you knew what was about to happen.

"hey" Henry smiled upon your arrival. you returned the sentiment and sat down beside him in front of your fathers desk.

"I presume I don't have to tell you, why you're here, y/n"

"no" you shook your head and your father smiled

"alright" he nodded in Henry's direction. "you can proceed, mr Rotwell"

you knew how these things took place, your siblings had told you enough already, it was always the male part of the relationship, who would ask for the hand in marriage in front of both the daughter and father of the other family.

"thank you, mr Fittes" Henry turned to look at you "you already know why I'm here, y/n. our families decided that we would make a great match. we will have beautiful children and unite two of the most important families in England. what do you say, will you marry me?"

you turned your head and looked at your father "we've already talked about the details, you will get married in august, we will start preparing right after you've finished school"

"so soon?"

"don't be afraid" Henry smiled friendly "I promise I will be a good husband"

"I don't doubt that" you shook your head "I had just hoped, to finish college before we-"

"college?" your father laughed at you and never in your life had you felt smaller

Henry send you a look and you could tell from his eyes how much he was dreading this, he seemed to have a lot of sympathy for your situation, born into such a powerful family and being a woman.

"that's ridiculous, y/n" your father finally spoke "what do you need a degree for? you both could live a comfortable life from the marriage portion alone and some day Henry will take over his fathers agency"

"and what about me?" you asked, already feeling the tears coming, Henry grabbed your hand and even if you wanted to do anything else in the world, you were happy to have him at your side

"you will bear and raise your children of course, now please, that's enough. do you accept his proposal?"

you knew that there was no sense in saying no, so you turned to look at Henry, who send you such a boyish smile, that you nearly forgot all the worries in the world

"I accept your proposal"

"terrific!" your father cheered. he got up from his chair and hugged you and shook Henry's hand. "follow me, children, we will announce the news immediately.

you followed him down the hall. Henry squeezed your hands three times, which made you look up at him. "everything's gonna be alright, I promise"

you nodded, just wishing this night to be over, so you could spend it crying yourself to sleep.

"dear guests!" your father said loudly, gathering the attention of everyone in the huge ballroom "I'm happy to announce my youngest daughters engagement to Henry Rotwell" the people cheered and you smiled uncomfortably

you nearly collapsed when you found his eyes for the first time this evening. he looked so deeply saddened at the news and you gulped. it wasn't like you had broken up with him. he could've had you, if only he wanted it.

so you forced yourself to look away and smile through the pain, just hoping that it would go away some day.

CHOOSE YOUR ENDING:

X CLOSURE

"yes, I got your letter, yes, I'm doing better. I know that it's over, I don't need your closure"

X AFTERGLOW

"It's all me, just don't go, meet me in the afterglow"