Illicit Affairs - Tumblr Posts

don’t blame me // illicit affairs - taylor swift

You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else. The Eras Tour — Foro Sol Stadium, Mexico City

Illicit Affairs

Jaime Lannister x Stark!Freader

NSFW: praise, teasing, cunnilingus, affair, unprotected sex, breeding kink (if you squint)

Summary: You and Jaime have been sneaking around for a while but seeing as how you've caught feelings you decide to break it off. It doesn't go according to plan.

4.7k words

The minutes ticked away as I sat in this vacant bedchamber. I was waiting for Ser Jaime Lannister to make his appearance. When I first saw him back home in Winterfell I was no better than my little sister Sansa, fawning over handsome knights. He was beautiful, blessed by the seven with looks, brains, and strength. I didn't mean to fall as hard as I had, and once he caught on he entertained my interest. Which led me here, two months into a secret affair with the Kingslayer himself. I had to end it. It was not only deadly but it had just turned into a painful endeavor. I couldn't stand to hear his sweet words as he purred into my ears, his voice as soft as the fur cloak I had worn in the North.

The door opened and shut quickly and I looked up. There stood Jaime, already messing with the buckles on his wrists, already trying to free himself of his armor. His hair was perfect and he smiled at me softly but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Whether he was tired or worried I couldn't tell. He walks to the edge of the bed and grabs my hand and kisses my Knuckles. I curse myself for the way my heart leaps at the simple gesture, at the way his eyes stare inquisitively into mine.

“How was your day?” He asks softly. I had to remind myself, I came here to end things.

“It was alright…I guess.” I look away and try to sound disinterested.

“Not much of an answer is it?” He asks, idly stroking my hand. “You weren't out in the city in broad daylight were you? Cersei has been getting suspicious.” How ridiculously stupid of him to say. All he was concerned about was his twin sister getting angry with him as much as he tried to act like he cared for me. I scoff and look at him with annoyance.

“I'm a Stark, of course I was out in the daylight! Don't worry, I used Maegor's tunnels to get here.”

“You’re not concerned about getting caught?” He asks, his fingers continuing across my skin, but this time, they take a firm grip on my hips, as if he needs it to support himself in this moment. He lets out a deep breath, his lips hovering by my ear. “If she finds out about us, she will kill you.” He punctuates the sentence by kissing my neck gently, causing me to sigh.

“Mmm as you've made me aware.” His hands travel up my waist as he presses me against the plush bed, his lips against my skin in a way that makes the muscles in my stomach ache with anticipation. I try to force down my body's reaction to Jaime's but it's no use, my stomach keeps turning flips.

“I’m serious, love,” he whispers, his breath hot against my skin. “I’m not kidding when I say she will have your head on a spike.” I had to say something, I had to or I would let this happen again and again.

“Jaime…” I try, his name tumbles from my lips like a plea, causing him to groan and keep trailing kisses from my collarbone to the shell of my ear.

“What am I supposed to do if she finds out? I can't let anything happen to you.” There it was, his words. They were like a poison added into a sweet wine. If I were more foolish I would drink my fill of his poisoned words and slip into a drunken bliss that would eventually lead to my demise but I saw them for what they were. Poison. I push him away lightly to catch my breath and shake my head.

“I can't do this anymore.” I say simply. Multiple emotions flashed across his face at once. Offense, Confusion, maybe even disappointment. His hand was still on my hip.

“You….want to end this?” He asks, the confusion lacing his words, his green eyes narrowed studying me to see if I was joking or not. No. No I didn't want to end this, I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I wanted to bear his children, take his name, be his wholly. I didn't know how to respond. Yes. Say yes. I decided to go with the most infuriating response.

“This isn't honorable…this…what we're doing.” I finally say, not able to make eye contact with him. He didn't see this as me lying about wanting this to end, thank the gods. He saw this as me being embarrassed at my dishonorable actions. He chuckled humorlessly and grabbed my chin to make me look at him.

“Honorable?” He shakes his head “There's very little that is honorable about what we're doing love, but it doesn't mean I want you any less.”

“Jaime, I can't keep doing this.” I repeat a little stronger. He simply stares at me blankly and I think for a moment he may be having some episode as he stares at me unblinking.

“If you want me to stop, I will,” he says softly. “But you must look at me and tell me to my face that you want nothing to do with me. Otherwise… you know I won’t let you leave this room.” I gather all my thoughts, pushing down the tears, pushing down everything in my heart and say as coldly as possible,

“I want nothing more to do with you.” The look he gives me says that there are words on the tip of his tongue, begging to be said aloud, Instead, he nods.

“If that is what you want…” he says. “I won’t bother you any longer.” He backs away from me and I stand, clenching my fists.

“I'll see myself out.” I choke out. He continues staring at me, something lingering just hidden behind his eyes.

“See yourself home.” He says emotionlessly. “Don't do anything stupid love, King's Landing is an increasingly dangerous place for a Stark nowadays.” I nod and pull my hood over my head, slinking out the door into the cover of the dark halls. That was the end of things. I would stay away from Ser Jaime, I would never have to burden myself with knowing that his twin sister may swipe me from my bed or try to sentence me to death for some imagined treason. But as much as I tried to force it down, my feelings for him would never subside. Mine was love while his was lust.

~~~~~~~

I hadn't seen him all day, I had just went about my day as uneventful as possible. Taking a walk in the garden, listening to the smallfolk bringing forth their troubles to the crown, and sat with my father as he pondered over dozens of parchments. The sooner I forget my feelings for Jaime Lannister the better.

The moment I open my chamber door, there he sat on the corner of my bed. Our actions mirrored those of yesterday. He sat on the edge of the bed nervously and I walked in after my long day, swinging the door closed just as quickly as I opened it.

“Jaime! You're going to get us killed! What if I had an escort or worse, what if father had been with me?” He stood and walked over hastily, grabbing my hips and pulling me in for a hug.

“Have you any idea what you put me through last night?” He demanded, his face buried in my neck. What had gotten into him?

“I'm sorry you didn't get to bury yourself in my cunt last night.” He pulls away and looks at me. He looks…hurt?

“Is this what you think this is? That I just use you?” I don't answer I simply stare at him in confusion and concern.

“Jaime…what happened after I left last night?” He sighs and places his forehead against mine.

“I thought I was going insane,” he whispers. “You came in and told me to stop and I just… let you go. Do you know how hard it was, to just let you walk out that door?” I feel tears pricking at my eyes and I place a hand gently on either side of his face.

“I'm confused…I thought that you…that this was just an arrangement?” He closes his eyes and chuckles humorlessly.

“No love, this hasn't been an arrangement for quite some time and last night…last night I was ready to beg you to stay.” He admits. I could tell this took a lot of courage for him to admit. His hands tighten on my hips. “Gods woman I shouldn't love you as much as I do…it's stupid, and dangerous, and its absolutely idiotic.” I pull away and look up at him, holding both of his hands now.

“You say this but you've been pulling away as of lately…” He looks at me confused.

“Pulling away? And what about you? Did you think I wouldn't mind you telling me that this was just a quick tumble? Because I did love, every single time.” He whispered. I needed clarification, just yesterday I had thought that his feelings had been a fabrication, that he was toying with me, playing some horrible cat and mouse game. Now he was telling me that he truly did love me.

“What about the letters? You used to write me the most beautiful letters, they were practically poetry. Talking about my beauty and your plans for the night, they had thought and feeling behind them. Then they turned into…” I sigh thinking of how rapidly the pretty notes turned into nothing more than a sentence telling me where you would be waiting for me and when. He could see that I was going to get upset if I continued to speak and placed a hand on my cheek again, wiping a tear from my cheek.

“Don't you see…that was my bloody stupid, desperate way to protect myself? If I kept giving you the letters I wanted to give you, Cersei would eventually find out, everyone would know and I can't let that happen love.” He says softly.

“How do you really feel Jaime?” I ask breathlessly, he smiles at me and places a tender kiss to my forehead.

“You beautiful fool. I'm in love with you. I've tried to stop this, to get over you, to make this just a quick, meaningless affair. But I can't. I can't do any of it. I can't stop myself from thinking of you, every bloody second of the day.” I struggle to find words but he keeps talking. “You’re too smart, too young, too beautiful, too pure, too honourable for me. But Gods, do I love you, love. I love you so much it literally drives me mad. And no one must know. You know why?” I simply nod.

“Because Cersei will have my head.”

“She will kill you in unspeakable ways and no one would be able to stop her. Not me, not the King, no one. That's why she can never know.” He stresses.

“Why did I have to fall in love with the one man who could never love me openly?” I ask with a sad sigh. He cups my face with both his hands, his thumbs gently brushing the skin of my cheeks.

“I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anything,” he says, his voice hoarse. “It doesn’t matter that I can’t love you in public, or that I can’t marry you, or take you to my bed as a Lord would his lady…” He sighs, burying his head in the crook of my neck once more. “Being unable to love you openly doesn’t mean I love you any less.” I hold his head against me, petting his hair.

“In another world, I'm the lady of Casterly Rock and we have a few little Lannister cubs running around our feet.” I muse. He lets out a soft chuckle, his breath warm against my neck.

“In a perfect world,” he murmurs. “I’d be able to wake up next to you every morning and go to sleep next to you every night without having to hide it. We’d have a whole mess of kids, and I wouldn’t have to sneak around to kiss you like a bloody commoner.” I gently drag him to the bed, laying down with him and pulling his head against my chest. He follows you to the bed silently, his head resting against my chest, his hand resting in the small of my back, holding me against him. “I know you’re worried,” he mutters quietly, listening to the sound of my heartbeat. “I know you’re scared. But don’t think for a moment that I don’t love you, or that this isn’t as real for me as it is for you, love.” He reassures me. He's always been good at that, even when I wholeheartedly believed his words to be poison.

“I would just like to forget our troubles...if only for a few minutes.” I sigh. “I'd like to pretend that we do have that life we've imagined.”

“So would I,” he whispers, his hand tracing small patterns on my skin. “It would be nice not having to sneak around like thieves. To kiss you without having to worry if a servant will stumble upon us… or Gods forbid, if Cersei stumbles upon us…” He lets out a quiet sigh, burying his head in the crook of my neck. “For a few minutes,” he murmurs. “Let’s pretend that we’re not on borrowed time, hmm?” I place a hand to his face and kiss him gently, almost nervously. He let's out a strangled moan at the tenderness of it. I can taste the saltiness of tears, whether they were mine or his I couldn't tell. It's a bitter reminder that this thing between us wouldn't last. But I decided to ignore that and indulge myself. His hands travel downward, wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer, his body aching for the touch of mine. His tongue slips into my mouth, finding mine his body suddenly all need, all urgent, like he’s starving for more. I gently tug at the hem of your shirt. I want to take my time with you. “Gods…” He pants, sitting up and tugging the shirt off and tossing it to the side. I take both my hands and run them over his chest causing him to let out a deep, ragged sigh.

“Slowly...we never take our time. I'm not even sure I've gotten a good look at you before…” I say, my hands trembling as I stroke his chest. I felt almost like a virgin again with how nervous I was.

“We’re always in a rush,” he whispers, his hand taking hold of mine, his skin shivering at the feel of my palms against his chest. He guides my hand down to his stomach. I could feel his heart almost hammering out of his chest. “This time, we’ll go slowly,” he murmurs, running his lips along my jawline.

“Jaime…are you also ridiculously nervous?” I felt stupid asking that question.

“Gods, yes,” he sighs, his forehead rested against mine. “I feel like a bloody green boy. My heart’s beating so fast I think it’ll explode in my chest, my hands are shaking, my stomach is in knots, and every inch of my body is aching for you.” It gave me some semblance of relief to know that he was also nervous and so I nodded.

“I feel the same way...I feel more nervous than I did when I lost my maidenhead actually.” He lets out a low, almost hoarse chuckle as he looks down at me, his eyes roaming over my face, taking in every detail of my features.

“I don’t know why we’re both so nervous,” he sighs, letting his fingers run slowly over my collarbone, tracing the outline of your skin making me shiver. “We’ve done this before. I’ve taken you before. Yet, I feel like I don’t know what the hells I’m doing…”

“Maybe it's the knowing…knowing for sure that it's not just meaningless.” I suggest.

“Perhaps yes,” he murmurs, his hand traveling to my stomach, bunching up my dress, revealing more and more of my skin. “Maybe it’s the fact that now…” He lets his hand slip under the soft material of the dress, his fingers dancing across the inside of my thigh, I fight the urge to close my legs “Now we both know exactly how we feel.” I fight the urge to close my legs as I look up at him and place my clammy hands on his back. I pull away long enough to pull my dress off and lie back down, his hand gently strokes up my chest and cups one of my breasts. Any other time he would've cruelly pinched one of them and pulled but today he was gentle and that made me more excited than anything he could've done. “Don't be nervous Love…” He purrs, feeling how hard my heart was pounding.

“You first.” I tease breathlessly. He smirks against my skin and trails kisses from my neck and down, slowly, lovingly, meticulously until his head was settled between my thighs and I could feel his hot breath on my soaked core. He reaches up, stroking my trembling stomach with a purr as he lovingly nuzzles into my cunt, his nose bumping my clit causing me to moan and arch up into him.

“I'm sorry love, you're going to have to use your words and tell me what you want, I seem to be a bit tounge tied at the moment.” He teases before planting his face squarely between my legs and focusing solely on my clit, his skilled tounge moving in circles as he roughly grips my thighs to keep me from squirming away.

“Gods…gods be damned Jaime!” I yelp. He almost chuckles at my reaction, the sound a low growl against my skin.

“Is that really all you have to say?” he mutters. “You know, love, you were more articulate the first time we did this.” He taunts. I whine and arch up.

“That was different, gods be damned you know what I like!” He chuckles at my whining and looks up at me.

“I do. But I want to hear it from you, I want to hear you tell me what to do.”

“Slow…languid…” I pant, weaving my fingers in his hair, urging him to continue. He hums in understanding. Slow and languid. His tongue flicks against my skin, tasting me, savoring me. He lets out another almost growl, his hands grabbing my hips, holding me in place.

“You taste good,” he mutters, his voice low and rough. “Like sweet summer wine.” I try to keep a loose grip on his beautiful golden hair trying not to hurt him as I start to lose myself.

“Jaime...you know just how to make me feel good.” I praise.

“I’m glad I have at least one talent,” he murmurs, his tongue working languidly on my cunt, dipping inside of me before coming back up to circle my clit. He idly licks until he reaches a place that causes me to gasp. He had gently sucked on my clit. He looks up at me, his eyes gleaming, and I could feel his smirk. “Found a sensitive spot, love?”

“Yes ser don't stop.” I beg.

“Wouldn’t dream of it…” he mutters, his tongue and lips moving over my skin again, his hands sliding up and down the inside of my thighs. “I could stay like this all day, love, tasting you, listening to you…” I can barely think, lost in ecstasy.

“I-I would let you…" I stammer. This causes him to raise his head with a mischievous smirk.

“Would you beg for me to stay between your legs or would you order me to?” I smile and tighten my grip on his hair causing him to gasp in a painful pleasure.

“Which would you prefer?” I ask.

“Both. I want you to order me to continue then beg for my mercy.” He says. I bite my lip and shove his head back down.

“Well get to work then.” I command.

“Yes, my Lady,” he mutters, his words dripping with innuendo and sarcasm as he lowers his head, his lips and tongue returning to their slow, purposeful assault on my cunt. I moan and arch into his mouth. I loved the feeling of his moans and how expertly he worked me to my orgasm. Looking down at him I could tell he had no other thought other than pleasing me. I didn't take long before my thighs were fighting Jaime's grip, as I was getting close.

“Ser Jaime…I'm close…please please ser Jaime.” I stammer feeling the pressure in my belly begin to build.

“So polite…are you close already?” He purrs, still licking.

“Yes ser.” I confirm. All of that pleasure fades as he pulls away, his chin and lips glistening with drool and cum.

“Are you ready for me love?” He asks, I nod and sit up, helping him with his trousers and small clothes. He leans his body over mine my legs around his hips just so, his chest pressing against mine, his heart hammering in time with mine. He brings his lips to my ear, his voice almost a whisper. “I love you,” he murmurs. “Gods help me, I love you so bloody much….” I gasp as he slowly slips inside of me, it felt better than the other times knowing that he felt the same way about me that I did about him.

“I love you too Jaime…with every part of my soul.” I say, kissing his neck.

“I swear, I’ll find a way to be with you,” he mutters as his hands find my wrists, pinning them to the bed on either side of my head. “Not like this, sneaking in the dark… I swear to you, love, I will find a way to have you, to be with you….” His lips move to my neck, his tongue tasting the skin, leaving a trail of hot kisses. I hold him closely as he thrusted into me, slow but deep strokes. I held him so tightly. As if his body could seep into mine.

“I would love that…more than anything.”

“You deserve more than this,” he mutters huskily, his lips moving to my collarbone. “You deserve a soft bed and a castle and all the things a lady’s meant to have, not me sneaking in and out of your room at night like an… an animal…” He struggles for words, panting with the pleasure of the moment. I mewl and bite my lip

“I would give anything to be Lady Lannister, to be your wife and have your children...but if this is the only way I can have you I'm happy with that.” He responds with a strangled moan, his grip on my wrists tightening.

“You shouldn’t,” he mutters, his forehead resting on mine. “You deserve so much more than I could ever give you, love… more than being my concubine, more than sharing my bed like a common whore…” I kiss him hard to stop him from talking.

“Dont you dare try to break this off after ive poured out my heart and soul.” I scold. He responds with a deep, ragged moan, his eyes slipping shut, his whole body shuddering.

“I-I’m not!” he insists, struggling to get the words out. “I could no more break this off than I could stop breathing or stop my heart from beating.” His eyes flutter open again, his green gaze fixed on mine. “I’m just trying to tell you what you deserve, love,” he mutters softly. “And what I’m not able to give you…” I can feel my end rapidly approaching so I hold you tighter burying my head into your neck.

“I don't care about any of that Jaime...all I need is your...love” I pant. A strangled moan tears through him, his body shuddering against mine.

“You have my love,” he mutters huskily, his lips finding my ear. “And my heart, and my blood, and my soul, Gods be damned, it’s all yours, love, every bit of it…”

“Now all I need is for you to finish.” I purr into his ear. He groans and another broken moan pours from his mouth.

“Is that an order?” He asks.

“Yes, and you're honor bound to follow orders.” I tease. He nods.

“As my lady commands…as always.” He pants and his thrusts quickly become sloppy as he chases his orgasm. As mine snaps in the deep pit of my stomach I yelp and muffle my scream in his shoulder. I feel him spill inside of me and I pet his head as he slowly slows down before stopping. I let him stay there as I pet his head. Part of me wished his seed would take, wished it would stick and take root in my womb but the rational part of me knew that I shouldn't hope for that. We stay like that for a long time, his body covering mine, his lips leaving kisses on my skin, both of us trying to catch their breath. He looks up at me, noticing my expression, the way I seem to be lost in thought. “What’s going on in that head of yours, love?” he asks, his voice low and soft. Before I could answer there's a knock on my door and my expression is one of pure terror.

“Shit. Hide. Now, go hide.” I command. He nods and slips off the bed and rolls right underneath it. I clear my throat and call out for the person to enter and as the door opens I spot his shirt on the bed. I quickly stuff it under the blankets with me and look up to see a guard.

“Apologies my lady but you're needed down at the royal stables.” He says. I cock my head to the side.

“The stables?”

“The new mare is about to foal and the stable hand needs someone good with horses.” I simply nod.

“Ok. I'll be right there. Leave me.” I command, the guard nods and leaves. The second Jaime rolls out from under the bed I hop out of bed and struggle to get my clothes on. “Wait a few minutes before leaving ok? I love you, I'll see you tonight.” I turn and he's struggling with his trousers.

“Yes, love,” he mutters quietly, running a hand through his sweaty, messed-up hair, trying to neaten it a bit. “I love you, too. Be careful. And…have you seen my shirt?”

“Oh yeah...I suppose I have to give that back don't I?” I say, throwing it at him. He catches the shirt, wrapping it around his arm before stepping closer to me running his hand over my hair, pulling me closer, gently pulling me into a kiss.

“I hope you weren’t planning on washing it before giving it back,” he murmurs, his eyes wandering over my body. “If it smells like you, I’d rather keep it.” I kiss him again, just as gently.

“I guess you'll just have to give me one to wear all the time.” I purr. He responds with a low, rough chuckle, his hands moving to my hips, pulling my body closer, his lips working along my neck.

“All the time?” he mutters. “Do you mean I get to see you wearing nothing else but my clothes?”

“Mhm…yes ser.” I tease. His hands bunch up the skirt of my dress, his lips on my shoulder

“Gods yes,” he almost moans. “The thought of you only in my shirt, your skin bare - seven hells…” He paws at my hips under my dress trying desperately to go another round.

“Nuh uh.” I scold “I need to make my way to the stables, I can't go another round.” He gives a frustrated groan, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me tighter against him, burying his face into my neck, his body already getting very worked up, again from the feel of it.

“Damn it, love, you can’t just drop that on me and then tell me to not touch you,” he mutters. “It’s too cruel…” I pull away and smile.

“I love you, I'll see you as soon as possible.” I say. He lets me go somewhat reluctantly, but not before giving my ass a gentle, yet firm, squeeze as I move away from him.

“I love you too, love,” he mutters as I exit, his eyes roaming over my body almost greedily. “Be safe.” I turn and blow him a kiss before shuffling off to the stables.

So much for summer love and saying "us".

I'm trying to find a way to link my Instagram account to Tumblr so I can share my edits here too. If anyone knows please help me.

By far this is my favourite edit I have ever made. Hope you all like it.

@taylorswift @taylornation

@taylorswift @taylornation

𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦, 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘐 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯.

-epiphany (Taylor Swift)

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@taylorswift @taylornation

"𝓓𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓷𝓸 𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓭𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓫𝓵𝓾𝓮

𝓑𝓾𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾."

-hoax(Taylor Swift)

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@taylorswift @taylornation

𝕭𝖚𝖙 𝕴'𝖒 𝖆 𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕴'𝖑𝖑 𝖐𝖊𝖊𝖕 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖇𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖒.

-peace(Taylor Swift)

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𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒆𝒔

- my tears ricochet (Taylor Swift)

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"𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝 , 𝐓𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮."

-invisible string (Taylor Swift)

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"𝙸𝚏 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝

𝚆𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢?"

- the 1(Taylor Swift)

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𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚛𝚢

@taylorswift @taylornation

"𝕬𝖓𝖉 𝖜𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝕴 𝖇𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖐 𝖎𝖙'𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖆 𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖕𝖎𝖊𝖈𝖊𝖘."

@taylorswift @taylornation

I can't get enough of all the songs on FOLKLORE. The Stories that @taylorswift tells are brilliant. Everytime I listen to the album or any song of it, a new idea pops in my head. Unfortunately I can't deliver all of them but here's another one for THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY.

@taylornation

Ivy - Taylor Swift

I love your fics!! Could you do a Lockwood x reader fanfic for illicit affairs? Like the reader could be related to someone high up in DEPRAC or Fittes and Lockwood doesn’t want people to know they’re tgt bc he’d be accused of trying to get favours or smthin but reader rlly wants ppl to know n is getting fed up with hiding. A healthy dose of angst would be 10/10 <3

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader

warnings: mentions of sexual themes

summary: you want to make your relationship public, anthony doesn’t. you don’t think you can accept that any longer, but at least for tonight you can

note: i loved this ask!! illicit affairs is one of my favorite songs of ms taylor!! i’ve decided to split it into two parts, just because it feels better for me. part two will be out tomorrow!!

part 2: tomorrow

"why does it matter anyway?" Anthony asked and you could hear the desperation in his voice

"it matters to me, Anthony" you answered calmly, tired of all the fighting you both had done in the past week. it wasn't like you always fought, this wasn't a usual state for your over two year relationship.

you were used to a loving, considerate boy and you knew that he would do anything for you. just not that one thing and that's why it wasn't enough for you.

you continued to fight while you walked around the room, collecting your items of clothing.

"y/n, please" Anthony sat down on his bed "we've been over this, I explained it to you more than a million times"

"I know" you replied tiredly

"let's just not fight anymore" he stood up and brought you close to his body

"okay" you muttered and you hated yourself for always giving in. you just loved him too much to maintain you restrain.

you put on your jacket and walked to the door

"make sure nobody sees you leave" it almost pained him to say what he always said

"no one will see me" it pained you to reply what you always replied

***

you were sitting at the large table in the entrance hall of the house you lived in. you nearly jumped to your feet when you noticed Anthony and his friends walking into the room.

they were led into the hall by your father, the son of Marissa Fittes. that was merely Anthonys problem about your relationship, he didn't want anyone to think he was just dating you for favours, you had told him a million times that that was rubbish and he argued a million times that it would matter. you could never agree on the matter.

you noticed Penelope walk in behind the agency and you felt it was rude to just sit and watch, so you stood up, flowing the material of your dress, as you joined your sisters side.

"I'm sure you've already heard of them, but these are my daughters" your father introduced you both "Penelope and y/n"

you expressed your greeting, Anthony's eyes staying a bit too long on your face. your father cleared his throat and you lost the boy's attention.

“Lockwood and co are our special guests for the ball tonight, that’s the least we could offer, after the job they did for us last year”

there had been a rather big problem in one of the houses your family owned. the haunting had be caused by a scandal, a forbidden relationship that escalated in the walls of the house and led to one of the affair partners dying at the hands of the other. your family had been able to suppress all the runout and stop any information on going out, but they had to get rid of the problem nonetheless.

that had been when your father had found the little three people agency. they had promised to get rid of your problem as quietly as possible. nothing ever got out.

that’s actually how you had met Anthony. because unbeknownst to your father, and not allowed you often spend time in the garden of the haunted mansion. that’s were you had first met Anthony, you remembered it like it had been yesterday

***

you were sitting in the garden, picking flowers. the golden august sun was displaying on your features and warming your skin. your dress was flowing a bit from the wind and your hair would now and then flutter in front of your face

"oh hello" a voice suddenly said, noticing you between the high grown grass

it was a boy, he was about your age and despite the summer heat, he was wearing a suit and a long black coat on top of it

"hi" you smiled, laying your head to the side and further inspecting him. his hair was short, and his skin was light, which made the dark circles under his eyes even more prominent.

“eh— i’m Lockwood, Anthony Lockwood” his hand jolted forward and you shook it while you grinned at him

“n/n” you said “just n/n”

ever since then he had found you intriguing, how you would sit in high grown grass in front of a haunted mansion, peacefully picking flowers. that’s why he loved you, you mostly did the things you did out of pure joy for them.

after your first meeting it seemed that Anthony Lockwood would just not leave your mind. you had found out later that it had been similar to him, always thinking about you in that dress, sitting in a field of flowers.

so you started to meet every few weeks, casually talking on your run to arif’s, or meeting each other on the street. coincidental meetings turned into dates and you spend more and more time with each other.

but as much as you wanted to tell the whole world, Anthony wanted to keep it a secret. even to Lucy and George, you weren’t more than friends to them.

***

“can i come in?” you asked after you had knocked on the door softly. there were some muffled words you couldn’t quite make out, but it sounded like a yes, so you slowly opened the wooden door.

“n/n” Anthony smiled, ushering you into the room he would spent the night in, and closing the door behind you “what are you doing?”

“i wanted to see you” you spoke softly, gripping his tie with both your hands. his hands wandered to your waist almost naturally “and i wanted to ask you if you’d like to accompany to the ball later… maybe we could slip away later”

“it’s a bit risky, don’t you think?”

“isn’t that what makes it fun in the first place?” you brought him down by his tie, his lips meeting yours. you deepened the kiss, walking you backwards and enjoying the control you had over him

Anthony laid on the bed, while you sat on top of him, straddling his waist. “we shouldn’t do this, y/n”

you raised your brows, slipping off your dress, leaving you only in your underwear

“okay, maybe we can be quick”

you giggled and rushed forward, crashing your lips onto his.

maybe you would always give in when he was telling you to, but at least you had the same hold over him, neither one could resist the other and that was part of the dangerous game you were playing.

and you didn’t know it yet, but you were about to lose.

ILLICIT AFFAIRS (pt 2)

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader

warning: mentions of sexual themes, angst

note: there will be another part, because it just fits better that way

summary: you don't have much time left to make your relationship public, will Anthony Lockwood comply?

find part one here

you looked down the hall, making sure no one would see you leave Anthony Lockwoods room. the halls were clear and you quietly closed the door turning around and walking against your sister

“y/n!” she exclaimed surprised

“hey Penny” you smiled, stepping a feet to the left to distract her from the fact that you had just left the room of your boyfriend— or better — secret boyfriend

“what were you doing in Anthony Lockwoods room?” she crossed her arms. you should’ve known that it was to no use to lie so you sighed.

before you could answer, she had looked you up and down, noticing your disheveled hair and clothes, and that one strap of your bra was hanging in the mid of your arm, you pulled it up quickly and blushed under her eyes

“oh” she just said, turning angry in the next second, she tried to step around you and enter his room, to probably cuss him out, but you grabbed her arm before she could do so

“he’s showering” you just muttered. it was to no use to say anything else. what she assumed was right, you didn’t need to lie to her

“and he’s—“

“my boyfriend” you concluded

“i already suspected something was going on, all the sneaking out was quite obvious”

“sorry” you smiled softly “i’m not good at climbing out a window so it had to be the front door”

“well, why didn’t you just tell us?” she didn’t seem as angry as before, maybe hurt

“he didn’t want me to” you shrugged “he thought that if it came out then everyone would think he was just where he was because of me and not because of his skill, also he thinks that our relationship wouldn’t be permitted by you, or more so mum and dad”

“sounds reasonable” Penelope seemed to understand where you were coming from. that’s why you had always gotten along great, but now you noticed the worry. “you know that there’s not much time left, right?”

you nodded, sadly, “that’s what i’ve been trying to tell him. but he won’t let me, he doesn’t like to talk about making us public and i respect that, but”

“but there are certain things that come with being a Fittes”

“yes” your lips curved down as you nodded your head “but there’s some time left, Penny and once i tell him, i think dad would deem Anthony as a rightful husband, once the time comes to get married”

“no” Penelope breathed “you don’t understand, y/n. it’s already too late. you’d have to tell dad tonight or else—“ a shiver ran down your spine as your sister looked to the floor

“what is it?” you asked lowly

“Henry Rottwell, he’s here”

“what?” tears glistened in your eyes, as it felt like you had just lost your footing. you grabbed Penelope’s arm tightly, in fear you would fall down if you’d let go.

“but i’m not even eighteen yet”

“dad wants you to have a long engagement, just like James and i had”

“oh god” you breathed “i have to” you turned your head towards the door, leaving the rest of your sentence unfinished

Penelope nodded “tell him everything and make sure that he knows how urgent the situation is”

“but what if that won’t change anything?”

“it will, if he loves you”

“but what if he doesn’t, what do i do then?”

“as much as that may hurt, then you will accept Henry’s proposal and have a happy marriage with him, maybe even a loving one, one day”

“but is maybe enough?”

“it is” she smiled assuringly “but it will always be worth more to have him say those three words” she pointed at the door and took your shoulders, softly pushing you towards it

you knocked and waited impatiently, while Penelope walked down the long hall.

Anthony’s hair was still wet and his tie untied when the door swung open

“n/n!” he exclaimed surprsised and it was like before your world had began to burn

“hi” you replied softly and Anthony’s face grew worried as he noticed the tears streaming down your face. “can i come in?”

“of course” he stepped aside, waiting until you had settled down on the bed, before he sat down across from you

“what is it, love?”

“Penelope saw me leaving your room”

“oh no” he said, already jumping to a conclusion about the nature of your visit

“that’s not the problem”

“it isn’t? but you do want to talk about it again, don’t you?”

“yes—“

“we’ve been through this, y/n” he sighed “actually we’ve been through this just this morning”

“yeah, but this morning i wasn’t about to be shipped off and get married to Rottwell jr” you replied sarcastically, your anger about the situation taking the better if you

“what?” Anthony asked stunned

“sorry, i—“ you breathed, trying to sort your thoughts “it’s just a lot right now. my father is a fan of arranged marriages. first my brother had one, then my sister and now it’s my turn”

“oh” Anthony said “i knew your family was old—fashioned, but that old—fashioned, really?”

“i thought i had time left, Anthony, i really did. and i know that if i told my father about us, he would eventually accept our relationship and we could get married some day”

“so we’d have to get married in a few months or what?”

“no, we could have a long engagement and get married after i finished college”

“and then what? we buy a nice house, settle down and have children?” your heart fluttered, because you thought that he was warming up to the idea

“yeah, eventually”

“i don’t want that, y/n” Anthony said and you swore that you could feel your heart break in that very moment

“what?” you asked, unsure if you had heard him right

“that’s not the life i want, n/n” he repeated

“that’s not the life you want? or that’s not the life you want with me?” you hoped he would say something, anything, but he kept quiet, which was answer enough

“do you love me, Anthony Lockwood?” you asked standing up from his bed, another set of tears streaming down your cheeks, as you watched his eyes find the floor beneath you. “do you want me to get married to some douchebag and be shipped off to god knows where? do you want that?”

“of course i don’t, but at least you’d have anything you’d need. with a husband like Henry Rottwell, there’s nothing in your way”

“but i don’t want that, i only want you”

“yeah, maybe now”

“not just now, okay? i love you” you started sobbing and your heart broke even more at his expression. he smiled softly, like he was trying to soothe you, like it wasn’t even hard for him

“it’ll go away” he said softly and you looked at him in betrayal

“do you love me?” you repeated the question from earlier and the silence that followed pierced through your heart like a gun that had been fired at you. “i’ll leave you to it then” you muttered quietly and you could’ve sworn that it would’ve taken you longer to leave the room than it actually did, considering all the pieces of your heart, you had to pick off the floor and fit back into your chest.

maybe those pieces just stayed there with him, in this room, in this house that had caused you pain, now that you learned what it felt like to have loved and lost.

maybe Penelope was right and that maybe that you would have with Henry Rottwell would be enough. it probably would never be like what you had with Anthony, but you had no other choice.

at least you knew Henry, he was nice for the most part, a bit pretentious at times, but he was alright and he respected you, at least you would marry a friend and maybe you could even love him some day.

ILLICIT AFFAIRS (part three)

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader

warning: angst

note: at the end of this part, you will be able to choose your own ending!! and I'm so sorry this took me so long to finish

summary: it's too late, Anthony has made his decision and you're ready to accept your destiny

part one, part two

taglist: @cat-lockwood @theamuz @archiveoftara

not long after your conversation, Penelope had come to your room to help you get ready. she had dried your tears and helped you to slip into another uncomfortable dress, that was so tight, it would hopefully hold you together, at least for tonight.

she had took you into her arms, to show her love and her sympathy, you watched her as she tidied the table and packed away the make-up she had brought, she was the future you had ahead of you.

she had married James years ago, and you loved him like he was your real brother. you knew that Penelope loved him now too. maybe you could love Henry one day.

"ready?" your sister asked softly, studying your form. before you could answer, there was a knock at the door, you rose to your feet as your face lightened up and Penelope watched your expression change, when it was only James in front of the door.

she swore her heart broke a little for you.

she watched as James hugged you and you seemed to find a little bit of peace in the arms of a man you had looked up to for so long, even if it wasn't the one you had been wishing for.

you walked into your bathroom to get your purse as Penelope and James talked quietly in the other room

"how is she?" Penelope had told her husband what had happened about an hour before

"one moment she seems like she is fine, and then I watch her face get hopeful at the mere thought that he might change his mind"

"he won't, will he?"

Penelope shrugged "I don't know him. she showed me a few photos and talked about him highly, but does he really love her if he lets her suffer like that?"

"I don't know" James showed her a high lipped smile "maybe he thinks that's best for her, I mean I didn't always knew it, but I know that you're best for me, maybe she will experience the same with Henry some day"

"hopefully" Penelope nodded

you walked back into the room and send them both a big smile, that was even faker then londons claim to solve the problem until next year. "can we?" you asked and James and Penelope send each other a look, that you missed because you had already walked to the door, waiting on them to follow you downstairs.

"where's Matthew?" you asked as you three walked down the hallway. normally your brother would be joined by his wife, Sarah. but she was heavily pregnant, so he would be attending alone this year

"probably already downstairs, he wanted to see your earlier, but I thought you had enough on your plate then"

"thank you" you send her a tight lipped smile, which she couldn't quiet tell was real.

"oh my beautiful daughters, evening James" your father greeted upon your arrival in one of the private family rooms.

you smiled at your family, no one really noticed that you tried your best to hold back tears.

“y/n! hello” your brother stepped forward and engulfed you in a hug. you broke it as fast as possible nearly breaking down in the comforting arms.

your brother looked at you weird, but before he could say something else, your mother had replaced him, inspecting your dress. “an old one of Penelope? beautiful my dear” she nodded approvingly and you turned to look at your sister, who smiled in relief.

“sha’ll we?” your father outstretched his arm, so your mother could take it. James and Penelope did the same and Matthew stepped next to your side.

“if it’s alright if i’m bringing you out tonight?”

you smiled, gladly taking his offer, you felt like you needed somebody next to you tonight.

your family walked down the hallway and down the stairs. “i know something’s bothering you, y/n”

despite you having a rather big age difference to your siblings - 7 years to Penelope and 9 years to Matthew - you three had always been close. and each one of you could tell when something was wrong with one of your siblings.

“yeah, actually” you smiled bitterly, trying to bite back the tears “i’m supposed to get engaged tonight”

“what?” exclaimed Matthew loudly, stopping in the middle of the way. to your luck, your family didn’t notice that.

“it’s alright”

Matthew shook his head “no it’s not! you’re way too young and by the time it would be your turn i would’ve been able to convince dad that you wouldn’t have to go through with it”

you smiled at him, sadly. “oh, matty” you gulped “you would do that for me? even if it would be totally unfair to you and Penelope? you had to go through with it, why shouldn’t i?”

“because i don’t want this for you, n/n. i hope that you’ll be able to make your own decisions once the time comes, and surely not when you’re barely seventeen.”

“it’s not that bad, Matthew. it’s gonna be Henry Rottwell, i know him”

“yeah, but do you love him?”

you and Matthew had begun to walk again, quickly catching up to your family

“no, not him”

“not him?”

“it doesn’t matter, it’s over and too late anyway”

"you know, you can tell me anything, right?"

you just nodded and Matthew sighed, accepting the fact that you wouldn't lose another word about what or better, who was bothering you.

"good evening" your father said loudly as your family entered the big ball room. the guests cheered upon your arrival and you looked around the room, trying to find Anthony, you weren't able though.

the party had been going on for a few hours, you mostly had spent it in your siblings company, not keen on talking to any strange people tonight.

it was then, that your father wanted to talk to you in another room. Henry Rottwell was there when you entered and you knew what was about to happen.

"hey" Henry smiled upon your arrival. you returned the sentiment and sat down beside him in front of your fathers desk.

"I presume I don't have to tell you, why you're here, y/n"

"no" you shook your head and your father smiled

"alright" he nodded in Henry's direction. "you can proceed, mr Rotwell"

you knew how these things took place, your siblings had told you enough already, it was always the male part of the relationship, who would ask for the hand in marriage in front of both the daughter and father of the other family.

"thank you, mr Fittes" Henry turned to look at you "you already know why I'm here, y/n. our families decided that we would make a great match. we will have beautiful children and unite two of the most important families in England. what do you say, will you marry me?"

you turned your head and looked at your father "we've already talked about the details, you will get married in august, we will start preparing right after you've finished school"

"so soon?"

"don't be afraid" Henry smiled friendly "I promise I will be a good husband"

"I don't doubt that" you shook your head "I had just hoped, to finish college before we-"

"college?" your father laughed at you and never in your life had you felt smaller

Henry send you a look and you could tell from his eyes how much he was dreading this, he seemed to have a lot of sympathy for your situation, born into such a powerful family and being a woman.

"that's ridiculous, y/n" your father finally spoke "what do you need a degree for? you both could live a comfortable life from the marriage portion alone and some day Henry will take over his fathers agency"

"and what about me?" you asked, already feeling the tears coming, Henry grabbed your hand and even if you wanted to do anything else in the world, you were happy to have him at your side

"you will bear and raise your children of course, now please, that's enough. do you accept his proposal?"

you knew that there was no sense in saying no, so you turned to look at Henry, who send you such a boyish smile, that you nearly forgot all the worries in the world

"I accept your proposal"

"terrific!" your father cheered. he got up from his chair and hugged you and shook Henry's hand. "follow me, children, we will announce the news immediately.

you followed him down the hall. Henry squeezed your hands three times, which made you look up at him. "everything's gonna be alright, I promise"

you nodded, just wishing this night to be over, so you could spend it crying yourself to sleep.

"dear guests!" your father said loudly, gathering the attention of everyone in the huge ballroom "I'm happy to announce my youngest daughters engagement to Henry Rotwell" the people cheered and you smiled uncomfortably

you nearly collapsed when you found his eyes for the first time this evening. he looked so deeply saddened at the news and you gulped. it wasn't like you had broken up with him. he could've had you, if only he wanted it.

so you forced yourself to look away and smile through the pain, just hoping that it would go away some day.

CHOOSE YOUR ENDING:

X CLOSURE

"yes, I got your letter, yes, I'm doing better. I know that it's over, I don't need your closure"

X AFTERGLOW

"It's all me, just don't go, meet me in the afterglow"