Illicitaffairsseries - Tumblr Posts

Illicit Affairs (Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader)

A/N: A new series! I hope this is good enough because I’m still having ideas and it’s quite angsty… somehow. But, either way, I think I’ll enjoy writing this. And there will be a lot of parts, it depends though tbh LMAO but I hope you enjoy it otherwise. <3

Summary: You and she both agreed that it was just a whole “Friends with Benefits” some type of thing until you fall for her. You fall so deep that it hurts you seeing her being in love with someone else. 

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst; Heavy Smut; Cursing; basically it’s (18+)

Spotify Playlist for this series

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

So on….

I love your fics!! Could you do a Lockwood x reader fanfic for illicit affairs? Like the reader could be related to someone high up in DEPRAC or Fittes and Lockwood doesn’t want people to know they’re tgt bc he’d be accused of trying to get favours or smthin but reader rlly wants ppl to know n is getting fed up with hiding. A healthy dose of angst would be 10/10 <3

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader

warnings: mentions of sexual themes

summary: you want to make your relationship public, anthony doesn’t. you don’t think you can accept that any longer, but at least for tonight you can

note: i loved this ask!! illicit affairs is one of my favorite songs of ms taylor!! i’ve decided to split it into two parts, just because it feels better for me. part two will be out tomorrow!!

part 2: tomorrow

"why does it matter anyway?" Anthony asked and you could hear the desperation in his voice

"it matters to me, Anthony" you answered calmly, tired of all the fighting you both had done in the past week. it wasn't like you always fought, this wasn't a usual state for your over two year relationship.

you were used to a loving, considerate boy and you knew that he would do anything for you. just not that one thing and that's why it wasn't enough for you.

you continued to fight while you walked around the room, collecting your items of clothing.

"y/n, please" Anthony sat down on his bed "we've been over this, I explained it to you more than a million times"

"I know" you replied tiredly

"let's just not fight anymore" he stood up and brought you close to his body

"okay" you muttered and you hated yourself for always giving in. you just loved him too much to maintain you restrain.

you put on your jacket and walked to the door

"make sure nobody sees you leave" it almost pained him to say what he always said

"no one will see me" it pained you to reply what you always replied

***

you were sitting at the large table in the entrance hall of the house you lived in. you nearly jumped to your feet when you noticed Anthony and his friends walking into the room.

they were led into the hall by your father, the son of Marissa Fittes. that was merely Anthonys problem about your relationship, he didn't want anyone to think he was just dating you for favours, you had told him a million times that that was rubbish and he argued a million times that it would matter. you could never agree on the matter.

you noticed Penelope walk in behind the agency and you felt it was rude to just sit and watch, so you stood up, flowing the material of your dress, as you joined your sisters side.

"I'm sure you've already heard of them, but these are my daughters" your father introduced you both "Penelope and y/n"

you expressed your greeting, Anthony's eyes staying a bit too long on your face. your father cleared his throat and you lost the boy's attention.

“Lockwood and co are our special guests for the ball tonight, that’s the least we could offer, after the job they did for us last year”

there had been a rather big problem in one of the houses your family owned. the haunting had be caused by a scandal, a forbidden relationship that escalated in the walls of the house and led to one of the affair partners dying at the hands of the other. your family had been able to suppress all the runout and stop any information on going out, but they had to get rid of the problem nonetheless.

that had been when your father had found the little three people agency. they had promised to get rid of your problem as quietly as possible. nothing ever got out.

that’s actually how you had met Anthony. because unbeknownst to your father, and not allowed you often spend time in the garden of the haunted mansion. that’s were you had first met Anthony, you remembered it like it had been yesterday

***

you were sitting in the garden, picking flowers. the golden august sun was displaying on your features and warming your skin. your dress was flowing a bit from the wind and your hair would now and then flutter in front of your face

"oh hello" a voice suddenly said, noticing you between the high grown grass

it was a boy, he was about your age and despite the summer heat, he was wearing a suit and a long black coat on top of it

"hi" you smiled, laying your head to the side and further inspecting him. his hair was short, and his skin was light, which made the dark circles under his eyes even more prominent.

“eh— i’m Lockwood, Anthony Lockwood” his hand jolted forward and you shook it while you grinned at him

“n/n” you said “just n/n”

ever since then he had found you intriguing, how you would sit in high grown grass in front of a haunted mansion, peacefully picking flowers. that’s why he loved you, you mostly did the things you did out of pure joy for them.

after your first meeting it seemed that Anthony Lockwood would just not leave your mind. you had found out later that it had been similar to him, always thinking about you in that dress, sitting in a field of flowers.

so you started to meet every few weeks, casually talking on your run to arif’s, or meeting each other on the street. coincidental meetings turned into dates and you spend more and more time with each other.

but as much as you wanted to tell the whole world, Anthony wanted to keep it a secret. even to Lucy and George, you weren’t more than friends to them.

***

“can i come in?” you asked after you had knocked on the door softly. there were some muffled words you couldn’t quite make out, but it sounded like a yes, so you slowly opened the wooden door.

“n/n” Anthony smiled, ushering you into the room he would spent the night in, and closing the door behind you “what are you doing?”

“i wanted to see you” you spoke softly, gripping his tie with both your hands. his hands wandered to your waist almost naturally “and i wanted to ask you if you’d like to accompany to the ball later… maybe we could slip away later”

“it’s a bit risky, don’t you think?”

“isn’t that what makes it fun in the first place?” you brought him down by his tie, his lips meeting yours. you deepened the kiss, walking you backwards and enjoying the control you had over him

Anthony laid on the bed, while you sat on top of him, straddling his waist. “we shouldn’t do this, y/n”

you raised your brows, slipping off your dress, leaving you only in your underwear

“okay, maybe we can be quick”

you giggled and rushed forward, crashing your lips onto his.

maybe you would always give in when he was telling you to, but at least you had the same hold over him, neither one could resist the other and that was part of the dangerous game you were playing.

and you didn’t know it yet, but you were about to lose.

ILLICIT AFFAIRS (pt 2)

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader

warning: mentions of sexual themes, angst

note: there will be another part, because it just fits better that way

summary: you don't have much time left to make your relationship public, will Anthony Lockwood comply?

find part one here

you looked down the hall, making sure no one would see you leave Anthony Lockwoods room. the halls were clear and you quietly closed the door turning around and walking against your sister

“y/n!” she exclaimed surprised

“hey Penny” you smiled, stepping a feet to the left to distract her from the fact that you had just left the room of your boyfriend— or better — secret boyfriend

“what were you doing in Anthony Lockwoods room?” she crossed her arms. you should’ve known that it was to no use to lie so you sighed.

before you could answer, she had looked you up and down, noticing your disheveled hair and clothes, and that one strap of your bra was hanging in the mid of your arm, you pulled it up quickly and blushed under her eyes

“oh” she just said, turning angry in the next second, she tried to step around you and enter his room, to probably cuss him out, but you grabbed her arm before she could do so

“he’s showering” you just muttered. it was to no use to say anything else. what she assumed was right, you didn’t need to lie to her

“and he’s—“

“my boyfriend” you concluded

“i already suspected something was going on, all the sneaking out was quite obvious”

“sorry” you smiled softly “i’m not good at climbing out a window so it had to be the front door”

“well, why didn’t you just tell us?” she didn’t seem as angry as before, maybe hurt

“he didn’t want me to” you shrugged “he thought that if it came out then everyone would think he was just where he was because of me and not because of his skill, also he thinks that our relationship wouldn’t be permitted by you, or more so mum and dad”

“sounds reasonable” Penelope seemed to understand where you were coming from. that’s why you had always gotten along great, but now you noticed the worry. “you know that there’s not much time left, right?”

you nodded, sadly, “that’s what i’ve been trying to tell him. but he won’t let me, he doesn’t like to talk about making us public and i respect that, but”

“but there are certain things that come with being a Fittes”

“yes” your lips curved down as you nodded your head “but there’s some time left, Penny and once i tell him, i think dad would deem Anthony as a rightful husband, once the time comes to get married”

“no” Penelope breathed “you don’t understand, y/n. it’s already too late. you’d have to tell dad tonight or else—“ a shiver ran down your spine as your sister looked to the floor

“what is it?” you asked lowly

“Henry Rottwell, he’s here”

“what?” tears glistened in your eyes, as it felt like you had just lost your footing. you grabbed Penelope’s arm tightly, in fear you would fall down if you’d let go.

“but i’m not even eighteen yet”

“dad wants you to have a long engagement, just like James and i had”

“oh god” you breathed “i have to” you turned your head towards the door, leaving the rest of your sentence unfinished

Penelope nodded “tell him everything and make sure that he knows how urgent the situation is”

“but what if that won’t change anything?”

“it will, if he loves you”

“but what if he doesn’t, what do i do then?”

“as much as that may hurt, then you will accept Henry’s proposal and have a happy marriage with him, maybe even a loving one, one day”

“but is maybe enough?”

“it is” she smiled assuringly “but it will always be worth more to have him say those three words” she pointed at the door and took your shoulders, softly pushing you towards it

you knocked and waited impatiently, while Penelope walked down the long hall.

Anthony’s hair was still wet and his tie untied when the door swung open

“n/n!” he exclaimed surprsised and it was like before your world had began to burn

“hi” you replied softly and Anthony’s face grew worried as he noticed the tears streaming down your face. “can i come in?”

“of course” he stepped aside, waiting until you had settled down on the bed, before he sat down across from you

“what is it, love?”

“Penelope saw me leaving your room”

“oh no” he said, already jumping to a conclusion about the nature of your visit

“that’s not the problem”

“it isn’t? but you do want to talk about it again, don’t you?”

“yes—“

“we’ve been through this, y/n” he sighed “actually we’ve been through this just this morning”

“yeah, but this morning i wasn’t about to be shipped off and get married to Rottwell jr” you replied sarcastically, your anger about the situation taking the better if you

“what?” Anthony asked stunned

“sorry, i—“ you breathed, trying to sort your thoughts “it’s just a lot right now. my father is a fan of arranged marriages. first my brother had one, then my sister and now it’s my turn”

“oh” Anthony said “i knew your family was old—fashioned, but that old—fashioned, really?”

“i thought i had time left, Anthony, i really did. and i know that if i told my father about us, he would eventually accept our relationship and we could get married some day”

“so we’d have to get married in a few months or what?”

“no, we could have a long engagement and get married after i finished college”

“and then what? we buy a nice house, settle down and have children?” your heart fluttered, because you thought that he was warming up to the idea

“yeah, eventually”

“i don’t want that, y/n” Anthony said and you swore that you could feel your heart break in that very moment

“what?” you asked, unsure if you had heard him right

“that’s not the life i want, n/n” he repeated

“that’s not the life you want? or that’s not the life you want with me?” you hoped he would say something, anything, but he kept quiet, which was answer enough

“do you love me, Anthony Lockwood?” you asked standing up from his bed, another set of tears streaming down your cheeks, as you watched his eyes find the floor beneath you. “do you want me to get married to some douchebag and be shipped off to god knows where? do you want that?”

“of course i don’t, but at least you’d have anything you’d need. with a husband like Henry Rottwell, there’s nothing in your way”

“but i don’t want that, i only want you”

“yeah, maybe now”

“not just now, okay? i love you” you started sobbing and your heart broke even more at his expression. he smiled softly, like he was trying to soothe you, like it wasn’t even hard for him

“it’ll go away” he said softly and you looked at him in betrayal

“do you love me?” you repeated the question from earlier and the silence that followed pierced through your heart like a gun that had been fired at you. “i’ll leave you to it then” you muttered quietly and you could’ve sworn that it would’ve taken you longer to leave the room than it actually did, considering all the pieces of your heart, you had to pick off the floor and fit back into your chest.

maybe those pieces just stayed there with him, in this room, in this house that had caused you pain, now that you learned what it felt like to have loved and lost.

maybe Penelope was right and that maybe that you would have with Henry Rottwell would be enough. it probably would never be like what you had with Anthony, but you had no other choice.

at least you knew Henry, he was nice for the most part, a bit pretentious at times, but he was alright and he respected you, at least you would marry a friend and maybe you could even love him some day.

ILLICIT AFFAIRS (part three)

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader

warning: angst

note: at the end of this part, you will be able to choose your own ending!! and I'm so sorry this took me so long to finish

summary: it's too late, Anthony has made his decision and you're ready to accept your destiny

part one, part two

taglist: @cat-lockwood @theamuz @archiveoftara

not long after your conversation, Penelope had come to your room to help you get ready. she had dried your tears and helped you to slip into another uncomfortable dress, that was so tight, it would hopefully hold you together, at least for tonight.

she had took you into her arms, to show her love and her sympathy, you watched her as she tidied the table and packed away the make-up she had brought, she was the future you had ahead of you.

she had married James years ago, and you loved him like he was your real brother. you knew that Penelope loved him now too. maybe you could love Henry one day.

"ready?" your sister asked softly, studying your form. before you could answer, there was a knock at the door, you rose to your feet as your face lightened up and Penelope watched your expression change, when it was only James in front of the door.

she swore her heart broke a little for you.

she watched as James hugged you and you seemed to find a little bit of peace in the arms of a man you had looked up to for so long, even if it wasn't the one you had been wishing for.

you walked into your bathroom to get your purse as Penelope and James talked quietly in the other room

"how is she?" Penelope had told her husband what had happened about an hour before

"one moment she seems like she is fine, and then I watch her face get hopeful at the mere thought that he might change his mind"

"he won't, will he?"

Penelope shrugged "I don't know him. she showed me a few photos and talked about him highly, but does he really love her if he lets her suffer like that?"

"I don't know" James showed her a high lipped smile "maybe he thinks that's best for her, I mean I didn't always knew it, but I know that you're best for me, maybe she will experience the same with Henry some day"

"hopefully" Penelope nodded

you walked back into the room and send them both a big smile, that was even faker then londons claim to solve the problem until next year. "can we?" you asked and James and Penelope send each other a look, that you missed because you had already walked to the door, waiting on them to follow you downstairs.

"where's Matthew?" you asked as you three walked down the hallway. normally your brother would be joined by his wife, Sarah. but she was heavily pregnant, so he would be attending alone this year

"probably already downstairs, he wanted to see your earlier, but I thought you had enough on your plate then"

"thank you" you send her a tight lipped smile, which she couldn't quiet tell was real.

"oh my beautiful daughters, evening James" your father greeted upon your arrival in one of the private family rooms.

you smiled at your family, no one really noticed that you tried your best to hold back tears.

“y/n! hello” your brother stepped forward and engulfed you in a hug. you broke it as fast as possible nearly breaking down in the comforting arms.

your brother looked at you weird, but before he could say something else, your mother had replaced him, inspecting your dress. “an old one of Penelope? beautiful my dear” she nodded approvingly and you turned to look at your sister, who smiled in relief.

“sha’ll we?” your father outstretched his arm, so your mother could take it. James and Penelope did the same and Matthew stepped next to your side.

“if it’s alright if i’m bringing you out tonight?”

you smiled, gladly taking his offer, you felt like you needed somebody next to you tonight.

your family walked down the hallway and down the stairs. “i know something’s bothering you, y/n”

despite you having a rather big age difference to your siblings - 7 years to Penelope and 9 years to Matthew - you three had always been close. and each one of you could tell when something was wrong with one of your siblings.

“yeah, actually” you smiled bitterly, trying to bite back the tears “i’m supposed to get engaged tonight”

“what?” exclaimed Matthew loudly, stopping in the middle of the way. to your luck, your family didn’t notice that.

“it’s alright”

Matthew shook his head “no it’s not! you’re way too young and by the time it would be your turn i would’ve been able to convince dad that you wouldn’t have to go through with it”

you smiled at him, sadly. “oh, matty” you gulped “you would do that for me? even if it would be totally unfair to you and Penelope? you had to go through with it, why shouldn’t i?”

“because i don’t want this for you, n/n. i hope that you’ll be able to make your own decisions once the time comes, and surely not when you’re barely seventeen.”

“it’s not that bad, Matthew. it’s gonna be Henry Rottwell, i know him”

“yeah, but do you love him?”

you and Matthew had begun to walk again, quickly catching up to your family

“no, not him”

“not him?”

“it doesn’t matter, it’s over and too late anyway”

"you know, you can tell me anything, right?"

you just nodded and Matthew sighed, accepting the fact that you wouldn't lose another word about what or better, who was bothering you.

"good evening" your father said loudly as your family entered the big ball room. the guests cheered upon your arrival and you looked around the room, trying to find Anthony, you weren't able though.

the party had been going on for a few hours, you mostly had spent it in your siblings company, not keen on talking to any strange people tonight.

it was then, that your father wanted to talk to you in another room. Henry Rottwell was there when you entered and you knew what was about to happen.

"hey" Henry smiled upon your arrival. you returned the sentiment and sat down beside him in front of your fathers desk.

"I presume I don't have to tell you, why you're here, y/n"

"no" you shook your head and your father smiled

"alright" he nodded in Henry's direction. "you can proceed, mr Rotwell"

you knew how these things took place, your siblings had told you enough already, it was always the male part of the relationship, who would ask for the hand in marriage in front of both the daughter and father of the other family.

"thank you, mr Fittes" Henry turned to look at you "you already know why I'm here, y/n. our families decided that we would make a great match. we will have beautiful children and unite two of the most important families in England. what do you say, will you marry me?"

you turned your head and looked at your father "we've already talked about the details, you will get married in august, we will start preparing right after you've finished school"

"so soon?"

"don't be afraid" Henry smiled friendly "I promise I will be a good husband"

"I don't doubt that" you shook your head "I had just hoped, to finish college before we-"

"college?" your father laughed at you and never in your life had you felt smaller

Henry send you a look and you could tell from his eyes how much he was dreading this, he seemed to have a lot of sympathy for your situation, born into such a powerful family and being a woman.

"that's ridiculous, y/n" your father finally spoke "what do you need a degree for? you both could live a comfortable life from the marriage portion alone and some day Henry will take over his fathers agency"

"and what about me?" you asked, already feeling the tears coming, Henry grabbed your hand and even if you wanted to do anything else in the world, you were happy to have him at your side

"you will bear and raise your children of course, now please, that's enough. do you accept his proposal?"

you knew that there was no sense in saying no, so you turned to look at Henry, who send you such a boyish smile, that you nearly forgot all the worries in the world

"I accept your proposal"

"terrific!" your father cheered. he got up from his chair and hugged you and shook Henry's hand. "follow me, children, we will announce the news immediately.

you followed him down the hall. Henry squeezed your hands three times, which made you look up at him. "everything's gonna be alright, I promise"

you nodded, just wishing this night to be over, so you could spend it crying yourself to sleep.

"dear guests!" your father said loudly, gathering the attention of everyone in the huge ballroom "I'm happy to announce my youngest daughters engagement to Henry Rotwell" the people cheered and you smiled uncomfortably

you nearly collapsed when you found his eyes for the first time this evening. he looked so deeply saddened at the news and you gulped. it wasn't like you had broken up with him. he could've had you, if only he wanted it.

so you forced yourself to look away and smile through the pain, just hoping that it would go away some day.

CHOOSE YOUR ENDING:

X CLOSURE

"yes, I got your letter, yes, I'm doing better. I know that it's over, I don't need your closure"

X AFTERGLOW

"It's all me, just don't go, meet me in the afterglow"

AFTERGLOW (possible ending 1)

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader

summary: just simply "meet me in the afterglow"

warnings: a bit of angst, but not too much, there's a happy ending!!

notes: tried doing a bit of a transition here, let me know if you got it or if it was way too confusing

-> back to part three

"y/n?" a tender voice called from across the room. you turned around to notice that the speaker had already come closer and was now standing right behind you.

"Anthony" you breathed. you hadn't seen him in a long time. not in real life at least. you had kept up with his work through the newspaper, collecting every article that mentioned him and strolling down portland row any time you were in England.

of course he was still living in his childhood home, even if his agency had become far more successful over the years and he was now owning the two houses right next to number 35.

"I haven't seen you in forever" he smiled and you both looked at each other longingly, but unsure how to greet the other

"it's good to see you" you said softly and even you noticed how his features grew even softer at the recognition of the patience in your voice, that had never left, even if you had been angry with him.

"I heard you that you left England a few years ago, so it's quite the surprise meeting you here"

"I did" you laughed "I went to Harvard, got my degree and originally wanted to stay there, but then the homesickness finally got the better of me"

a month before your wedding you and Henry had decided to end your engagement, it was a mutual decision. you had a long conversation with your parents and they finally accepted that you couldn't go through with what they had in mind for you. the contact had been low for a few years, your parents not being happy with your decisions at first, but as of now, you had been able to rekindle the relationship and they had even come to America to attend your graduation three years ago.

Today, Henry was married to a beautiful girl, a friend of yours that you had introduced to him. even if your somewhat romantic relationship had ended about seven years ago, you and Henry had stayed great friends. he was actually the reason you were here tonight, he wasn't able to make it to this art gala, so he had send you the ticket, keeping in mind how much you loved those.

"what are you up to these days?" you began to walk around mindlessly through the gallery

"a lot of ghost-hunting, still" he laughed "I've got the luxury now that I don't have to take every case, makes me get hurt a lot less."

"that's good to hear! how's George? and Lucy? still by your side, I hope"

"always" he smiled widely "they're still as unbearable and loyal as ever, they're gonna jump out of their socks, once I mention running into you"

"I definitely have to meet them again soon!"

"I mean, if you're finished walking around, you could accompany me home? I was actually planning on leaving before I saw you"

"oh sure, I mean if its alright with you"

"I wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't"

"right" you laughed uncomfortably, before you followed him down the street and sat down in the cab beside him.

"the same old house" Anthony announced loudly, once the both of you had gotten out of the car

"not complaining, I love to see some familiarity, spending so much time away from home was weird" you both ignored how you had indirectly referred to his place as home, not that it was far off though. you followed him down the hallway, noticing that not much had changed over the years. and there, down in the kitchen were sitting George and Lucy, like they had been frozen in time.

"hello" you waved. Lucy's eyes shined bright in recognition and she quickly got off her chair to hug you, George directly behind her.

"what are you doing back home?" George asked

"yeah, I thought you would stay in America, I mean that's what Lockwood told us you went to-" she interrupted herself at the look that Lockwood was sending her

"that's right, but I finally decided to come back home" you smiled "I kept track off you as well"

"really?" both George and Lucy asked, but Lockwood drowned out both of them "you did?"

"yes, i've read every newspaper article and I saw a few interviews" you looked from one to the other "that's a really great reputation you've built over the years"

"I presume it's all thanks to you" Lockwood smiled and you raised your eyebrows, confused

after your father had retired and Matthew took over the business, you had asked him to keep an eye on the agency of your former boyfriend, invite them to every important event, where they could meet important people and give them the cases that the fittes agency was too busy to take.

"I wouldn't agree" you shook your head

"come on!" George whined "as if anyone had invited us to important meetings if you hadn't told your brother to"

"yeah" Lucy nodded "as if Matthew Fittes would've even known who we are if it wasn't for you"

you shook your head, laughing "I don't know what you're talking about"

later that evening, when George and Lucy had already gone up to their rooms, you sat in the library, still catching up with Lockwood, when it was eventually time to leave.

"it was great seeing you and Lucy and George as well" you smiled

"listen, y/n, what happened back then-"

"you don't have to say anything, Anthony" you said softly "I wasn't your responsibility to save me, alright? I respected your decision then and still do it now"

"maybe it should've been" he muttered and you shook your head

"living a life you didn't want to live? that doesn't seem fair to me"

"I think actually, I would've been a life I loved" he looked down in sadness "I just had to break what I loved the most"

"loved?" you breathed "you told me-"

"I lied, I just thought this whole thing would be better for you.. back then I was without means, I could barely keep the house, I didn't want to share a poor life with you"

"any life I would've shared with you would have been rich, no matter the circumstances" you paused "all I wanted was you, I would've never asked for more than just your love"

"you wanted to get married"

"my father wanted me to get married and I would've married you in a dumpster if that meant not loosing you, not loosing us"

"I really hurt you, y/n"

"you didn't just hurt me, Anthony. you ruined me for anybody else, I don't think that I've been able to love anyone since then, at least not in the way that I loved you. that's what keeps me up at night, every man I meet, has to win against you and that's just not possible"

"we were just children, y/n" he sighed "I saw it on your face back then, as your father announced the engagement and I knew that I was to blame for your pain, but there was nothing I could've given you, the way Henry could've given you things"

"do you see him here with me? Henry, I mean. do you see his ring on my finger?"

"no, but-"

"I mean you knew that we broke off our engagement, right? you must've heard.. somewhere, right?"

"yeah and-"

"why didn't you come find me then? I waited a year longer to start college, just in the hopes that you would come back"

"I thought you didn't want to see me"

"seeing you again was everything i've wanted Anthony" a tear slipped down your cheek

"I'm sorry" he said softly "maybe I could call you some time"

you laughed at his terrible attempt at making a joke "sure" you chuckled "but don't you dare lie to me again when I ask you if you love me"

"ask me right now" "what?"

"you heard me"

you took a breath "do- do you love me?"

"I do" Anthony breathed and you waited for the priests permission to kiss, before you leaned forward and pressed your lips onto your husbands.

the whole wedding party cheered and you could see Charlotte jump up from her seat at the front, running forward and hugging both your legs. Anthony took your daughter into his arms and you three shared a long hug

"mummy and daddy are finally married, chary" you laughed at her excitement as she squealed at your announcement

you let her down, so she could run back to your mum, while Anthony and you walked down the aisle together, smiling at all the people that had come to see you get married

"fucking finally" George muttered, which made not only Lucy but Matthew and Penelope laugh as well

the proposal had come two years after you had reconnected and shortly after you found out about Charlotte's existence, it had taken you quite some time to finally tie the knot. three years to be exact. Anthony was still leading Lockwood and co and you spent most of your time writing or plucking flowers from your garden. Anthony had surprised you with the little cottage right outside of London, in the countryside. he was still close enough to the agency, but out there in the green, you could raise your children and grow old together.

you had informed in of the irony quite promptly, hadn't he once told you that it was exactly the life, little house outside of the city where you would raise your children, he didn't want.

now everything was finally right. he had told you so himself. and every time you would find his eyes, you were glad that everything turned out how it did.

that evening you spent sitting on your chairs in front of the house, holding each others hands and silently watching the afterglow.

CLOSURE (possible ending 2)

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader, Henry Rotwell x reader

summary: "yes I got your letter, yes I'm doing better. I know that it's over, I don't need your closure"

warning: a bit of angst but a happy end for both of our main characters!!

-> back to part three

"y/n?" a tender voice called from across the room. you turned around to notice that the speaker had already come closer and was now standing right behind you.

"Anthony" you breathed. you hadn't seen him in a long time. not in real life at least. you had kept up with his work through the newspaper, collecting every article that mentioned him and strolling down portland row any time you were in England.

"it's nice to see you" he breathed and looked down at the girl that was tightly gripping your hand. he bend down "and who are you?" he asked softly

"that's Gracie" you answered on behalf of your daughter "she's really shy"

"oh, that's alright" Anthony smiled "I'm Anthony"

"it's good to see you as well, Anthony" the man looked up to you and got back onto his feet. "how are you doing, y/n?"

the years had gone by in a brief, you could barely make out the ten years of life that had passed on his face. today he was as successful as ever, building a big agency that had gotten more and more successful over the years, without ever losing an agent or producing bad headlines.

you had finished school and got married to Henry two months after. you had went to college, after Henry had talked your father into it. Henry had kept every promise he had ever made and you couldn't ask for a better husband. you loved him endlessly and he always expressed his gratitude to you for gifting him your three beautiful children: two boys and a girl: Liam, Noah and Gracie.

being married to Henry had been way more beautiful than you had ever expected it to be. he was patient, loving and a great father. he never left you alone when you needed him most and he made everything possible that your father had kept you from for so long. being married to Henry hadn't been a limitation but more freedom than you had ever been able to enjoy before.

of course there were times where you wondered, how your life had been if you had ended up with Anthony. it wasn't that you weren't happy how your life was, but everyone tend to wonder, right?

before you and Henry had gotten married, you had sent Anthony at least a thousand letters, you wanted to make sure that he really didn't want you. you never received an answer, not until two years ago. you had never opened his letter, scared of what he was gonna write.

you had matured a lot, at that point it had been more than nine years to your last letter, the night before you got married. and back then you would’ve probably thrown yourself down a cliff for that letter, but at the time it came, you had been pregnant with Gracie and very much happy with how your life turned out, so happy indeed that you decided that you didn't need a single world from him to leave him behind you and that everything was good as it was.

Henry entered your field of vision and you send Gracie off to her father, so that you could talk to Anthony in private.

"did you get my letter? you didn't answer, so I wasn't sure if I got the right address"

"you really have some nerves"

"what are you talking about?"

"I send you literally a thousand of them and you never replied to any, alright fine for me, but don't expect that i read whatever you had to say to me"

"I'm sorry that I didn't answer you sooner, it took me years until I was able to read them, and then I replied"

"you know what? it's alright Anthony, I left that anger behind me long ago"

"I know, I just-" he paused, searching for the right words "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am, for what I did to you. back then I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go, but after I read your letter.. it just, it destroyed me, especially because in my memory, you were still this sixteen year old girl I had left and let down. and it killed me to know that it was me who you trusted most in this world.. these letters, they were brutal, y/n"

"then you can imagine how I must've felt" you shook your head "I'm happy now, and maybe some day I can read what you wrote, but no just yet, okay?"

"you kept it"

"of course"

"I thought you had thrown it away by how you reacted just now"

"I don't want to be angry anymore, I was sad for such a long time and then so bitter and angry, that was unfair, especially for Henry. but you were a child back then as well and I shouldn't have expected for you to handle this mess"

"oh, y/n"

you smiled softly and he felt liked he was about to cry at you words "I loved you back then, you were my whole world, but Henry? he means even more to me. back then I wouldn't have thought that to be possible, but it was. I think there will always be a part of me who loves you, but that’s just the sentimental little girl who used to wish for familiarity, and now, I think she's finally gone, because you aren't familiar to me anymore"

he nodded at your words "I understand" he stepped back "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about everything"

"I appreciate that, I'm sorry as well, I shouldn't have been angry at you. like I said before, it wasn't your responsibility to save me in any way. we were so young, weren't we?"

"yeah" he laughed "young and in love" the guilt brushed over his face "sorry for mentioning it, but I just wanted you to know"

"I knew, Anthony" he raised his eyebrows "that's why you let me go, because you did love me, I just didn't understand that back then, so thank you" you paused "and to answer your earlier question: I'm doing better, amazing actually and from what I heard, you're doing more than good yourself"

he nodded, still stunned that you had known all this time "y-yeah" he stuttered "I have been able to expand the agency"

"that's good to hear"

"yeah"

"I don't know if I ever will open you letter, but just so you know, we're on good terms, okay? we grew up and moved on, but I will always care about your wellbeing and happiness, I just don't think I can be there all the time, but do give me a call once in a while, yeah?"

"I can only say the same" he smiled "I promise that I'll call once in a while"

"thank you" he turned to walk away, but you called his name one last time "just- I always thought I needed to see you again, or receive a letter back to finally get over you. I know now that I didn't need that, but thank you for talking with me"

"always" he smiled, taped his invisible hat and walked away

your eyes stayed on the man for a few more seconds. the man you had once thought hung the moon, it took a lot in you to realise that he had only been human too and you had expected far too much from him.

you watched as he exited the halls of your family's manor, in which he had broken your heart all these years ago. you noticed the familiarity in his walk, the way he moved his arms and of course his smile and the glistening in his eyes. but now it seemed to you like those little things had always been excuses to escape into your daydreams.

you had actually loved him. but love wasn't an individual case and all his familiarity had at one time turned foreign to you. the way he brushed past the people, how he looked so grown and how his eyes didn't seem to think you were the most beautiful thing in the world anymore.

and it was okay, outgrowing him meant that your relationship had at one time been so special, that you had never thought it would be possible.

but here you were, realising that it wasn't him, that you needed to get over everything, in your mind it was just yourself, holding onto a boy you had known such a long time ago. the man from moments ago was proof enough that it was time to say goodbye to the boy that had occupied your memories far too long.

"everything alright, sweetheart?" Henry was suddenly next to you and handed you Gracie, who was outstretching her little arms to finally be in her mummy's hold again.

you send one final look to the door "everything is just fine" you replied before you followed your family back to your table.

you actually never opened his letter, even if you had kept it in a little box from your youth, like a sentiment you would always have to need, you never actually did though.

Anthony called from time to time and you always spent at least a few minutes catching up.

it always made you happy to speak with him, tell him how your kids were doing and the newest painting you had drawn, he told you about George and Lucy, about the agency and how he loved what he was doing.

you were happy and you didn't miss him. you once needed him, but you didn't anymore, it seemed like it was the same for him. all along you thought that it was him who would be able to give you the conclusion you so deeply longed for, but you had been wrong, you didn't need him for that, you could do it on your own.

and the moment you realised that, was the moment you finally gained closure.