Incorrect WoF Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Qibli: what would you do if i accidentally killed you
Winter: i wouldn't do anything i would be fucking dead
Moon: *is sad*
Darkstalker: *stars breakdancing gently* what's wrong bestie
Willow: I wish you’d just admit when you’ve made a mistake
Sundew, stirring her coffee: fuck you, I prefer it with salt.
Winter: the stars look beautiful tonight
Qibli: you know what else looks beautiful?
Winter: what?
Kinkajou, squeezing between them: me
Tsunami: lately Clay has gotten into ‘dad jokes’, but what’s worse is that Peril actually likes them.
Clay: I had a nice vacuum cleaner but I had to sell it.
Clay: it was just gathering dust!
Peril, laughing hysterically: that’s what it does!
Tsunami: every time I think my hell can’t get worse, life finds a way.
Kinkajou, bolting upright at 2am: why are they called birthdays and not birth anniversaries
Moon, beside her:
Moon: Kinkajou, love, light of my life, sweetheart, what the fuck
Moon, after receiving a vision: I... I just saw... a trillion different realities... folding onto each other like thin sheets of metal... forming a single blade.
Darkstalker: yeah, yeah, the time knife, we've all seen it.
wof characters as quotes from me/my friends
glory: "all ears are gay"
peril: "are squirrels canines?"
snowfall: "piss is better than cheese"
tsunami: "it smells like incorrect math equations and fatherless children in here"
cricket: "wait do people actually have ass hair???"
turtle: "dr doofinshmirtz is a very much trans dilf"
swordtail: "i unravel my penis like a fire hose"
kinkajou: "my love language is getting my ass slapped"
qibli: "i am experiencing the feminine urge to be vulgar"
sundew: "i think i'm a fucking wizard harry"
winter: "a good 4-month long coma ought to put some spring in my step"
Turtle: *writing a letter* dear Kinkajou, if you’re reading this-
Sunny: can she read?
Turtle: oh, no.
Turtle: dear Qibli, if you’re reading this to Kinkajou…
Sunny: can… can HE read???
Turtle: …
Turtle: dear Moon-
Peril: When someone upsets Clay, I usually advise them to start writing a will.
Moon: Why? He’s not the type to seek revenge.
Peril: No, but who knows what I might do?
Moon, yelling over everyone’s thoughts: HI, KINKAJOU!
Kinkajou: Are you yelling at me?
Moon: No, I’m not yelling. I just have a lot of thoughts in my head.
Baby Peril, after fifteen minutes of awkward silence: Scrambled eggs anyone???
Clearsight: We all have our demons.
Clearsight, dragging Darkstalker into view: This one’s mine.
Winter, to Moon: Moonwatcher. You are way too telepathetic.
Ruby: You’re a monster. You’re an ACTUAL monster.
Baby Peril: NO IM A DRAGON! I’M A DRAGON!
Turtle, to Moon: Are you telepathetic?
Moon: I’m… pathetic. Don’t worry about it.
(The FoeslayerXArctic family is trying to have a normal game night for once in their lives and needs to come up with some house rules)
Darkstalker: I doubt I inherited my most annoying traits one hundred percent completely from mother.
Arctic: You certainly did, you little mongrel.
Darkstalker: Mongrel? As in, a mixed breed of questionable heritage?
Arctic: …huh. Yeah.
Darkstalker: Rule three, it’s unwise to slander someone’s parentage if, in fact, YOU are their parent.
Arctic: I can accept that. Rule four, never mention this conversation, or my part in it, to anyone.
“Well, you know what they say, when life opens a door, it closes every door on the map.”
-Qibli, probably
Sora, panicking at a job interview: I don’t actually want or need this job, I just really want to get out of the house and be around other people sometimes, otherwise I’ll go insane and, uh, I dunno blow up a library or something.
Sora: (somehow gets the job)
Fathom, watching Darkstalker enchant Arctic, panicked out of his mind: What do you see, Clearsight? Clearsight what do you see???
Clearsight: I see impending doom for the… for the foreseeable future…