Israel Hands - Tumblr Posts

for one, I absolutely adore Israel Hands- but I will forever be bitter about how people have switched up on him.

season one? instantly my favourite but I find like three people who agree with me like BRO

then finally when we Izzy fans get sustenance from season two, everyone suddenly loves him. TOOK YOU GUYS LONG ENOUGH.

I'm bored, so have a (possibly) triggering first chapter look-see of my Ouizzy fic "A Dance With The Devil" that I'm gonna post. I plan to rewrite it to be more canon-accurate but also throw in a little personal spice since I love writing angst.

Also! For those of you who happen to read it anyways, I'd absolutely LOVE some feedback. (That includes the negative feedback. I don't get better unless it's given, and I strive to better my writing). Alright, let me put the trigger warning so we can be prepared!

TW/CW: implied/explicitly expressed abuse, canon typical violence, panic attack, mild aggression, and mentioned amputation and consumption of a toe.

⚠️Reader's discretion is advised.⚠️

Chap 1: Izzy's Torment.

Edward was in a horrid mood again.

Well, Blackbeard.

As typical, Izzy tried keeping things running as smoothly as possible, only speaking when spoken to and snapping orders at the crew if any were caught slacking. He spent the majority of his day limping around the deck, weight leaned on his cane. His foot fucking hurt, and the bandages around it chafed and caused the somewhat healing wound to open and bleed.

Izzy bites back a curse. Literally just a week ago when Blackbeard returned from being willingly captured by the English, Izzy had been force-fed his toe. He remembered that night with very little fondness despite the relieving excitement that coursed through him seeing that dark, malicious glare from Blackbeard. He swallowed thickly, once again reliving having to consume a piece of himself. How fucking poetic.

Leaning against the railing of the Revenge, Izzy stared out into the expanse of water surrounding the ship. The sun was hanging high in the sky, beating down on the deck in exhausting heat. He pulls away, sighing roughly and turned heel towards the lower decks to check in on the crew, to make sure they weren't slacking. They had a tight schedule, and Izzy made sure of it so they would stay busy.

As he descended, he could hear soft murmurs and hurried conversations before they went completely silent. Izzy's stony glare cast over the crew as they stand awkwardly in a circle, eyes directed at the ground as if in submission. Maybe it was genuine submission- that's all Izzy had disciplined into them in his fourteen hour power-trip when Edward was gone.

"What's with all of this... nonsense? Having a little chat with each other? Talking feelings?" Izzy rasps in lilting sarcasm, leaning on his cane with a scowl. No one responds, all except Jim. Their eyes remained trained on the ground, something unusual and out of character to their normally intense glare.

"We need an intervention." Their voice was slow but sure, and then the intense stare strays to Izzy. There was a small shock that ran through him, so subtle he wasn't sure it even happened. He nods his head upwards, chin slightly higher in curiosity.

“An intervention, ay? Ed wouldn't be too fond of that.” Izzy points out, tapping his cane against the floorboards to emphasize it. He sauntered forward, his scowl turning softer. “It's suicide to try and talk him out of this.”

“Still- it'd be better. For all of us.” Frenchie piped in, nervously looking anywhere that wasn't the shorter-statured man. Izzy had noticed the bard was very iffy about eye contact, fluctuating between a hard stare and no eye contact at all. The first-mate didn't know what to make of it, and instead decided it wasn't worth his time- knowing Stede Bonnet's crew, they'd have Izzy soft-side up and forcefully coddled like he was part of their crew. Part of them.

“Get back to work. Fuckin’ useless twats.” Izzy snarled, turning away. A deeper part of him knew that Jim was right- hell, even Frenchie! Of all people, excluding Jim, Frenchie actually had a point- one stating that sitting idly by would only make things worse. Izzy would never admit it, even in his dying breath that he agreed with Stede fucking Bonnet's maniac of a bard. Shame worms its way up Izzy's spine, settling in the center of his chest like a weight in his ribcage.

He… wanted to mutiny against Blackbeard. The one thing Izzy swore his life to uphold the name of, and here he was regretting his choices. A sickening feeling sits ominously idle in his gut, like a viper waiting to strike… waiting until Izzy is distracted. The first-mate swallowed back the rising pain in his throat, stalking off to the top deck and not even waiting to see if the crew listened.

He found himself below deck in his cabin. He was pacing the cramped room, hands tangled in his graying hair, trying to calm the raging storm of emotions in his mind. Izzy was never one for emotions, always keeping them bottled up until they all came out in spiteful insults and barked orders. Right now was not one of those times.

In a swift attempt of releasing his pent up self-destructive loathing, he grabbed a stool and threw it against the wall, the wood exploding into splintering shrapnel as it made impact. Izzy let out a strained shout, heaving in breaths as his attempt of control became vain. He had never let the thought of mutiny cross his mind.

“Fuck. Fuck!” Izzy growls, sitting roughly on his rickety cot and burying his face in his hands. He was sure his death was imminent if Blackbeard heard any whisper or word of possible opposition. The crew would die alongside Izzy if they didn't cower to the Kraken's absolutely mental demands and pressuring emotional manipulation.

Izzy Hands wanted to turncoat on Blackbeard, the man- no, the myth- he helped create. To break the promise he had made so long ago that it became the very air he breathed to upkeep. All for just a little taste of comfort in a trying time that won't last. He was stupid for letting himself be so… invested in the damn crew. How they felt, how they saw him, how they fucking bitched and moaned about how horrible Blackbeard treated them and yet, Izzy understood. How, he'd never know and even if he did, he'd never tell.

Of all people, Israel Hands understood their pain. Of all things, he could empathize with their distaste and wariness of Blackbeard's volatile behavior. The only grace Izzy gave the crew was being the one who took the brunt of all of the Kraken's anger and physical violence. And he wanted it. He deserved it.

A strangled sob left him, his heart hammering in his chest as his throat felt like it was closing. The walls felt like they were closing, his vision tunneling into the abysmal darkness of his own mind, eating away at whatever control he had garnered before it all went black. Silent. His body ached, his chest tightened and he couldn't breathe. He blindly grabs at his shirt, the collar, ripping at his clothes just for some air. Another noise left him as his struggles proved fruitless and he felt suffocated in the weight of this newfound desire to flee. To run from his past, his choices, his actions.

And as if it were as sudden as it set in, he calmed. His breathing was still yet heavy and sharp, sweat soaking his brow and clothes. He was shaking, hands gripping the front of his leather vest like his life was on the line. And it was. If he even told Ed about any of this, he'd lose another toe- no, his entire foot, maybe his life. He inhaled sharply, shakily. He had to set this right.

Whatever it was he needed to do, he'd do it. He stiffly removed his hands from his shirt, gingerly flexing his fingers to get feeling back into them. Smoothing back his disheveled hair and wiping his forehead with his sleeve, he took in a steadier breath. He'd steel himself, force back all of this panic and anguish and become Izzy Hands again. Cold, stoic, and damn near emotionless. Calculated- not some emotional disaster who couldn't even fathom not being dependent on his captain.

Izzy Hands is so Lana Del Ray coded. Like, there's just a vibe that correlates between them. I look at him and see a sad wet cat who deserves a nice, warm bath and a good fluffy towel, and all I hear is shit like Summertime Sadness in my mind-

(I actually really like her music)

Did a little something with some buddies for a trend (3 artists 1 base on TikTok) and decided "why not do Izzy during the Kraken Era?" I spent 7 HOURS on this fucker and I am actually proud of it- probably the better Izzy pieces I've done and will most likely ever do. I'd love some feedback, if any are willing 🫶

Every time I see an image of Izzy Hands where it's lower than his waist, the Ghost Stories dub pops into my head.

"Nice ass-"

"Do not lust in your heart- Jesus, you're right."

I went down the Stizzy pipeline and I'm not proud of the man I became.

(I'm literally just writing a domestic date night fluff oneshot about them. That is literally all there is.)

Have I mentioned how much I fucking love Izzy Hands

His full name is Israel which is cool as hell

Historically he’s like 16 🤔

He has grey hair

He lives in the walls

He’s fallen over multiple times

He can use a sword

He hates unicorns

He is a unicorn

He’s homophobic

He’s gay

He’s swallowed at least 2 of his own toes

“Foot” 😑

He’s probably an alcoholic

He wears one glove

While drunk and missing one limb he managed to rip the legs off a decorative horse on the front of the ship (HOW??)

“I suppose they look like sausages”

He can sing

He can sing in French as well

The little X on his cheek

He wears makeup

He says FOCK

He’s indestructible (almost whoops)

What kind of last name is Hands

He’s played by Con O’Neil (do I need to elaborate?)

Short 🤏

His VOICE is PERFECTION

He has a horse leg

✨“ooohh… oohh… daddy…”✨

He got hit in the face with a sandwich

He doesn’t get paid enough for this shit

He knows songs that won’t even be invented for another 300 years

Emo

“👌”

He’s a silly billy

I tried to hug izzy through my laptop screen the entirety of episode 4

Hey so I’m not an Izzy apologist. I think he’s weird and neat but like objectively awful. That said, Love Me Dead by Ludo is his pre series breakup song for Blackbeard. Not Ed. Blackbeard. I won’t be taking questions.

I’m not an Izzy stan(tm) but I don’t think he’s like the biggest most evil pos ever. I think he’s an entertaining weird little angry dude who has done some bad junk. (Ed and Stede have also done pretty bad junk Fam.) And I don’t ship him with Stede or Ed, cus like that feels unhealthy and also not my bag.

Tbh, I ship him with therapy and probably some kind of mobility aid for his toe situation. Id also like him to have some real friendship this season.

But damn, some of y’all want him to like die. Or be homophobic so badly. Like why would you wish for that in this show? Why would you want to bring that into this amazing bubble? He’s an asshole for sure, but not cus he’s homophobic. He’s just a jealous, horny, repressed little boob.

Stop passing moral judgments on others because they like Izzy. Other people having fun and stanning him doesn’t hurt you. Like I don’t want to sound condescending and pull the age card, but I swear people who hate him that viscerally come off as just really young and imature to me.

People are complicated. It’s okay to have a redemption arc. It’s ok for Izzy to grow and for people to want that. It’s okay for characters to be morally grey. It’s okay for middle aged pirates to have some baggage. So yeah, It’s okay to hate him. It’s okay to not want him around. It’s not okay to piss on everybody else’s fun because they don’t agree with your particular moral judgements. Go hydrate, nap, and take a couple breaths.

Izzy “reluctant homemaker” Hands

If the crew don’t throw Izzy overboard soon I’m going to throw Hands… literally

I love this but I would like to propose: end of season 1, Ed has just had his heart broken, he’s trying to cope with the loss of Stede from his life so suddenly and unexpectedly.

He latches onto the first person that distracts him from his heartbreak. And finally, finally Ed is reflecting back what Izzy wants him to… Izzy.

This is why Izzy is so victorious in his last scene despite… everything. Because finally he can see himself reflected in Blackbeard in ways he never did before- all the sadism and masochism. And what’s the first thing Izzy and Blackbeard do? Strand the rest of Stedes crew. Not only does this eliminate the memories of Stede but removes any (in Izzys mind at least) threats to Edwards affection.

He’s not going to let that go easily.

I loved what you said about Ed matching his response to the person he’s latched onto, and I’d propose that rather than growing in the next season, Ed fully has the capability to just sink into his role as Blackbeard, as dictated by Izzy, but the moment that Ed realises the full extent of what he’s done is the moment he finds himself beyond the people he interacts with. And only then can he and Stede reunite (maybe with a bit of an angst sword fight for the ✨spice✨).

i wonder how many men izzy has seen ed become fixated on before his current fixation on stede bonnet

because in the beginning he's so used to it and indulgent to a certain extent - he's a little bit irritable about it, and he acts TIRED of it, but you get the sense that he's used to this, right? blackbeard has these little fixations, these obsessions, and he gets over them

except this one, he doesn't, and i'm like

isn't it so telling that izzy sends calico jack

because it's like, oh, you're fixated on this current man? you're changing your entire personality to suit his needs because you're packing so much rejection sensitivity dysphoria and desperation for other people's approval and support?

okay. well, i'll just send the last man you were obsessed with

and one of two things will happen - you'll realise how stupid you're being, how weak you've been letting yourself get soft and stupid with stede fucking bonnet, how he's guaranteed to get you and the rest of us killed, on top of embarrassing you in the meantime, and jack will get you out of the way

or he'll see what you are.

he'll see what I know about you - he'll see that this is a habit for you. he'll see that he's not special, that none of us are special for long, because you pick a guy that's new and novel and exciting and fun and you'll keep him for a while and then jump right onto the next one

and he'll see that whatever he thinks he likes in you, all this softness, is just a mirror. it's not fucking real. it's just what he's putting on because you're so desperate for him to fucking like you

and the thing is i don't know what's better, like

if izzy was the object of ed's obsession once upon a time, and ed focused on izzy, desperately mirrored his personality, desperately hung off of izzy's approval, the way he does off stede and jack, the way he probably did for hornigold and has for other men - or, and i think this is the more likely one, like.

if ed's never seen enough in izzy to be worth obsessing over. if he's liked izzy and loved him and needed him but has never fixated on izzy like he has on these other shiny new men, because calico jack and stede bonnet were just so new and so exciting and such adventures, and izzy's never been that. izzy's never been an adventure: he's been solid, steadfast, and he's stayed.

and that's why, in izzy's mind, he understands ed and deserves him more than any of the others, because he's the only one that stays even once that fixation has worn off - or more accurately, he's never been fixated on at all

and obviously like. izzy's fucking wrong, in so many ways, because stede doesn't love ed because of how ed boosts his ego - he's in love with him, but also like... ed fundamentally doesn't know himself. he's only just starting that journey of like, interiority and self-awareness and it's going to be a journey, and i do think it's important that he's separate from stede for at least a while so that he does let himself be his own person for a while instead of trying so hard to reflect stede but like

fuck. fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!

gay pirates

i think izzy hands has a cat and/or dog allergy

so we have the scene where ed seems almost confused by "his" policy of no pets on board

it could be explained by a number of reasons, but i do get a feeling that izzy does a lot if not most of blackbeards recruiting, so i think it stands to reason to believe that he's the one telling new recruits to kill their pets

do i have any grounds to make that claim? no, but i find the idea hilarious

he wants to be so tough and like blackbeard and gets taken down by some dog hair

"my babygirl would never!" ,,,bestie that is a feral deranged middle aged morally gay obsessive pirate masochist. he will do ANYTHING

Tiny Izzy Hands from season 2 of Our Flag Means Death. I still can't forgive them what they did to my boy :(

You can find him here, if you want one!

Dear OFMD fandom, and most importantly dear Frenchie x Izzy fandom inside of OFMD.

Let me recommend my own writings to consideration of reading. (I don't know what the fuck people say while posting their fanfictions.)

Sing back the melody: Modern Soulmate AU. One shot, finished.

Cursed by you: Frenchie is actually a witch in disguise. In progress.

Just a bit of fanfiction...

I don't like Izzy.

I like-like Izzy.

My nemesis: Ha-ha! I found your secret weakness!

Me: Oh, no! How did you find out that I really like the character type of middle-aged, misunderstood villains who realise their mistakes and try to redeem?

My nemesis: ...the what now?

Ouizzy modern AU where Frenchie introduces his new boyfriend, Izzy to his friends. And they all think that he got himself a sugar daddy 'cause Izzy is the assistant of high CEO or similar stuff Edward Teach while Frenchie is a street musician.

Only it's plot twist, the other way around.

Frenchie is actually wealthy, because he’s a succesful scammer stealing money from the rich. And in reality, Izzy was fired from his job a few weeks ago (because of a Bonnet-related incident, of course).

But none of his friends know this, and especially not Izzy who can't understand it for the love of god how can his failed artist bf buy everything he looks at for longer than two second.