Holding On & Letting Go

Holding On & Letting Go

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Angstember Prompt - "I really hope you get her someday."

Even at eleven years old you knew James Potter was going to be an important person in your life. Of course back then you were only young, you didn’t know what lay ahead during your seven years at Hogwarts but you knew there was something about James Potter, something about the confident eleven year old who took one look at the scared muggle born girl on her own and immediately ushered her into his cart and walked next her to get sorted.

You remembered that day so clearly, almost like time hadn’t passed. You remembered James helping you adjust to magic, helping you with whatever you were confused with without hesitation. You remembered how James had dragged you outside, insisting that one of the best things about magic was flying, remembered how he had grinned as you refused to mount the broom only to compromise with you and before you knew it you were on a broom, James behind you as you went on your first flight.

You had years’ worth of fond, happy memories attached to James. For the first few years at Hogwarts there were no bad memories, sure the two of you had arguments but they were resolved before the day was over. You and James were attached at the hip, it was rare to be seen without the other, and so it didn’t surprise Remus when you told him at the beginning of fifth year that you had a crush on the boy.

You’d liked him for a while now, half way through third year you realised you liked him more than a friend but you hadn’t been too concerned with trying to figure out your feelings at thirteen. Now however you were fifteen, everyone around you was getting into relationships and you’d had years to think about what your feelings for James meant.

You also had a year of watching James’ crush on Lily Evans, watching as he made an idiot out of himself over and over again in an almost desperate attempt to capture her attention. Whilst Sirius laughed and encouraged it, you sat on the sidelines, a feeling in the pit of your stomach you couldn’t quite place but ignored as best you could. 

Fifth year came along and James hadn’t been as focused on Lily, instead he reigned himself in, offering up polite conversation to the girl but not much else. That was when you had confessed to Remus your feelings for James, knowing the boy would never share your conversation with him but still feeling like speaking the words aloud would cause something to shift. 

Remus had smiled at you, encouraged you to tell James how you felt, confident James felt the same for you. At first you had been adamantly against Remus’ advice, not wanting to mess up the dynamic you had with James but one night, long after everyone else had gone to bed and you and James had snuck out to lay out by the lake, looking up at the stars you had whispered your feelings to him.

The few seconds of silence that passed after your confession were torturously slow but then James had turned to you with a soft smile and asked you to go with him to Hogsmeade that weekend and you felt a weight you hadn’t known was there fall from your shoulders. 

From there it was easy dating James, the two of you already spent most of your time together anyway and five years of being friends made it feel like you knew everything about the other. There was no awkward getting to know each other phase, no uncomfortableness, it felt like nothing had changed except now you finally got to kiss him. 

It was easy to ignore at first. For the first few months of your relationship with James it was easy to get lost in him, so absorbed by the happiness you felt that you didn’t even realise it at first, not until the whispers around you got louder and the sympathetic looks multiplied. 

That’s when you noticed James’ straying eyes, the way he‘d leave your side and you’d spot him sitting with Lily or how even when she wasn’t involved in the conversation her name still somehow managed to get brought up.

You wanted to continue to ignore, to just remain oblivious and not have to deal with it and despite feeling like an idiot that’s exactly what you did. You refused to acknowledge any feelings James might have towards Lily, refused to listen as people told you it was only a matter of time before the two of them became a thing. If you went to bed with tears in your eyes some nights, having to share a room with the girl you were sharing James’ affection with then nobody had to know.

Just because his feelings for Lily had seemingly returned, or more accurately never left but had been buried for a while, didn’t mean he was any less involved with you. He was still there with you every day, still held your books, walked you to class, snuck the two of you out of the castle and asked you on dates. He still spent his nights with you tucked under his arm in front of the fire and smiled at you like he always had.

It almost made you wonder, one night alone in bed, if he was even aware of his own feelings for Lily, if he realised just how much he liked her. That’s when you paused, your breathing stopping for a second before you sucked in a sharp breath. What you and James had was comfortable, it was familiar, it reminded you of home when you were in his arms and you had to wonder if he felt the same. Surely he couldn’t, right? No matter how much you wanted to believe otherwise you had spent months ignoring the fact that when he walked into a room his gaze seemed to land on Lily before it did you.

The realisation had your heart breaking and you felt the tears sliding down your cheeks as you tried to muffle your cries. You had fallen for James, loved him as a best friend and as a boyfriend, though you’d yet to admit that one out loud, and you knew, no matter what happened between you and James, you knew he would never want to hurt you.

Somehow, even with the ache in your chest, you managed to fall asleep that night dreading your date to Hogsmeade the next morning.

The two of you sat opposite each other at a small table by the window, drinks in hand as you half-heartedly listened to James rambling on, your thoughts still very much still on the same train of thought as they had been last night.

“Hey,” James called softly, gaining your attention as he touched your hand, “you alright?” 

You were silent for a moment, completely unsure about how to answer that question. You knew your relationship with James was over at that point, if you were being honest it had been over for a long time but even now you were hesitant to admit it, hesitant to bring it to attention but you knew you needed to. 

At the end of the day James was still your best friend, even if that would sting for a while, and you had only ever what was best for him. If Lily Evans was what was best for him, or at least what he thought was best for him, then who were you to stand in the way?

Still it didn’t mean your heart wasn’t shattered.

Just as you opened your mouth to answer him you watched as his eyes flickered to the side, over to where the door was. Without needing to look you already knew who had just walked into The Three Broomsticks, you watched as James’ face lit up, a smile tugging unconsciously at his lips as his eyes followed her and still you turned your head slightly so you could see her, feeling your own eyes fill with tears.

Resignation was clear on your face even as your eyes fell closed to stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks. You took a breath before turning back to James whose gaze was on you again, concern written across his features.

“I really hope you get her someday.” You told him shakily, two tears trailing down your right cheek as you spoke.

Those weren’t exactly the words you thought you were going to use to start this conversation but ultimately they seemed right. Despite how much your heart ached, despite how much you wished it was you he wanted to be with, at the end of the day all you wanted was him happy.

You watched as the concern on James' face turned to confusion, his eyebrows knitting together as he tilted his head. 

“What?” He finally asked, his confusion just as clear in his tone as it was on his face.

“You like her, James.” You told him, watching as his eyes widened as they moved to look at Lily again before he turned back to you, shaking his head as he did. “It’s ok, I’ve known for a long time I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“I like you, Y/N/N.” He told you firmly, sounding like he truly believed those words and you didn’t doubt it.

“I know,” You told him, a smile making its way onto your face despite the fact that more and more tears seemed to fall from your eyes. ‘I know you do but I’m not her.” Your voice broke as you spoke, the words had you fighting back more tears.

“Y/N,” James tried again but you shook your head.

“Your whole face lights up when she so much as enters a room and when she talks to you, Merlin’s beard, I’ve never seen you smile brighter. I wish it was me, James, believe me I wish more than anything I was the one who could make you that happy but I’m not and I love you so much that I just want you to be happy…even if it’s not with me.” As you spoke you had to pause, needing to take a shaky breath as the tears continued to pour from your eyes.

James’ eyes widened at the love confession casually thrown into the speech, something you hadn’t even meant to let slip out but didn’t regret. They weren’t spoken to make him feel back but more so because you wanted him to know, know how much he meant to you and how much you really didn’t want there to be any hatred between the two of you.

You watched his eyes drift over towards Lily again before he looked to you, looking equally as heartbroken as you felt.

“I love you, you know that right?” He asked you, eyes pleading with you to know he was being honest and you couldn’t help but laugh softly despite the tears as you nodded.

“I know you do, baby,” you whispered, laugh fading into a shaky smile and you watched as James’ own eyes became watery, “just not like how you love her.” 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N/N.” He apologised, words shaky and broken as he reached out and took your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

“I know you are.” You said again, squeezing his hand back and watching as a tear fell down his cheek. “I meant it, you know.”

“Meant what?” He asked, the two of you keeping your voices low as you spoke.

“I really do hope you get her.” You told him and watched his eyes shut as he shook his head, opening them to look at you with wide, apologetic eyes. 

Before James had the chance to reply you brought his hand up to your lips and pressed a gentle, barely there kiss to the skin before letting it fall back to the table and giving it a final squeeze. With that you pulled away from him and stood up, watching as his face seemed to crumble even more as he watched you.

He opened his mouth as if to say something more but seemed to decide against it as it fell closed. Instead he forced a shaky smile onto his face as more tears made their way down his cheeks. You smiled back at him, feeling too many emotions to make sense of as you turned away from him and out of the inn, ignoring the looks people sent you, not even caring about what a state you’d look like now with tears still falling down your face.

As you began your walk back to the castle alone you knew, despite how much you were hurting right now, despite how much you wanted to curl up in your room and cry until everything felt better, you knew you had done the right thing, not only for James but for yourself. 

For months you’d let your relationship continue despite knowing about his feelings for Lily, all because you weren’t ready to let him go. You still weren’t ready to be without him in all honesty but you knew it wasn’t fair to yourself to stay with somebody who wasn’t as all in as you were.

You would always love James Potter, it seemed impossible that there was a universe out there that could exist without you loving him. Even if you had to do the hardest thing and let him go it didn’t mean you loved him any less, Merlin, it probably showed you loved him more, the fact you were willing to let him go, willing to put his own happiness above your own. You would always love James Potter, it was just one of the many facts of life, even if he didn’t love you back, even if it meant watching him with another girl, your love for him would never fade.

____

James Potter Taglist /

@haroldpotterson, @rottenstyx, @asherhunterx, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair,  @j-cat, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @chickensrule,@rosaliedepp, @ppgrayson, @onyourgoddamnleft,  @divanca2006, @silverose365, @tc-blossom, @mystic-writings, @touchdeprivedwh0re, @alexxavicry,  @alwaysclassyeagle, @carmellasworld, @labellapeaky, @maeve-7,  @serrendiipty, @father-violet,  @izzyyy-1,  @morganaah, @kaitieskidmore1, @mrslizzyolsen, @idli-dosa, @eichenhouseproperty, @lovelyvante, @siriusstwelveyears, @daisyfreshwhore, @polyglot-noodle, @bubsonnobx , @f-sant, @fairydxll

Silent Suffering

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Angstember Prompt - Crying into somebody's chest

Pairings - Obi-Wan Kenobi & Reader, Anakin Skywalker & Reader (can be read as pre Anakin x Reader too!)

Despite having your own Master you still found yourself spending most of your time in the company of Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Padawan Anakin Skywalker. More often than not you accompanied Anakin to his lessons with Obi-Wan, whether it be lightsaber training or mediation. 

The training a Padawan undertook was long and gruelling, days seemed to drag as you were taught the ways of the Jedi. Your Master was a cold man, he lacked the patience needed to train a Padawan which led to him snapping at you whenever you were made to train with him. Obi-Wan, however, was everything a Jedi Master should be, where you struggled to mediate, to shut your mind off to any and every outside distraction, your Master would snap and push you without proper guidance, Obi-Wan was the exact opposite. You still remembered the first time you’d mediated in front of him, how much you had struggled to do what came easily to most Jedi and you fully expected Obi-Wan to lose his temper with you, only to be shocked when he sat down in front of you and spoke, his words soft and gentle as he guided you and for the first time ever you felt yourself fall into that peaceful state easily. 

From there you had been eager to learn under Obi-Wan’s guidance. Compared to Anakin you felt your training was far behind despite the fact the two of you had started training at the same age though you hadn’t met until a few years later when your Master’s had been sent on a mission together with the instruction to bring their Padawan’s along.  

It was from that mission on you had become a permanent attachment to their duo, spending time with them even if it did take you a while to open up to them. The kindness they both showed you was such a stark contrast to how your Master treated you that you couldn’t help but stick with them.

Obi-Wan had wondered whether he should put a stop to how involved in their lives you were becoming. When you started joining Anakin’s lessons he had debated over what to do but Anakin seemed to like the challenge of a new opponent, one whose moves he couldn’t predict as well as he could his Master’s so Obi-Wan let you stay until he became as attached to you as he was his own Padawan. Watching as you grew in your training, how you seemed to thrive under his gentle guidance and encouraging words and sought out his advice on how you could improve made his heart warm and he knew that he wasn’t going to put a stop to you joining them.

Throughout the years Obi-Wan had tried to talk to you about your Master, about why you seemed behind in your training and more inclined to let Obi-Wan teach you. Each time you gave a vague answer, one that never answered his question before quickly changing the subject or darting off somewhere before he had the chance to ask you more questions. 

Anakin had also asked you about your Master, never having heard much about him. Anakin could never imagine training under another Master when he had Obi-Wan and knew that something wasn’t right between you and yours but as you did with Obi-Wan you did with Anakin and did your best to avoid answering the question. 

As the years went by and you got older your Master’s outbursts seemed to become more frequent and less justified. Some days he would yell at you when you weren’t training, when the Council sent you on missions together. You and your Master had never particularly gotten along well but the last couple of years had been worse than when you were a child.

You ignored it though, content to find comfort from Anakin and Obi-Wan, content to hide away with them when things became too much. You knew both men knew something was wrong but you had refused to talk about it and over time they didn’t ask as much as they used to, knowing full well you weren’t ready to talk about it yet.

One morning you found yourself in a training room, Obi-Wan walked around you and Anakin as you both duelled against the other. Years ago it was a challenge, neither one of you could predict the other's next move, the next step but now after years spent at each other’s side, being taught by the same Master it was easy to see four moves ahead. 

That didn’t mean the two of you went easy on each other, if anything it meant the two of you were more cocky, riskier in the moves you made and by the time the doors to the training room opened the two of you had worked up at sweat, panting as you grinned at each other as Anakin managed to get you on the ground with his lightsaber pointed at you.

“Alright, that's quite enough you two.” Obi-Wan told you with a smile.

Anakin holstered the lightsaber and reached a hand down for you, your grin still firmly in place as you slipped your hand into his and let him pull you up.

“Don’t worry, Y/N/N, one of these days you’ll beat me.” Anakin told you, his entire face lit up as he threw an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into him.

“Please,” you scoffed, letting yourself enjoy the closeness before playfully pushing him away, “I was just going easy on you.”

“Padawan,” A cold voice from the doorway said, causing you to flinch slightly, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Obi-Wan or Anakin. “We are being sent to aid the clones.”

You had to force your feet to move, to follow your Master out of the room, forced yourself to ignore the worry you felt coming from the two Jedi left behind in the training room. The air was tense as you followed him into the craft and even more so once you were up in the air and he turned his cold gaze towards you.

“Spending time with Kenobi and the Skywalker child again, Padawan?” He snarled and you barely suppressed a shiver.

This was the cause of many arguments and despite how much you dreaded your Master’s temper you would take any anger he directed your way so long as you could seek comfort from Obi-Wan and Anakin. You knew it wasn’t the fact you were so close to the two that angered your Master, though it certainly didn’t help matters, but it was an easy thing for him to target, an excuse for him to actually be angry at you.

You had no idea what you had done to cause so much hatred from your Master, since you were a child he had never had a nice word to say towards you. You remembered being so young, so upset that he seemed to hate you and tried so hard, did everything right, to get him to like you.

Nowadays you had accepted your Master’s anger, accepted you would never find the reason for it and stopped trying to please him, stopped seeking out his approval. You suspected Obi-Wan had a large part to play in your acceptance, the man was the complete opposite of your Master and where your Master shot you harsh words and hateful glares, Obi-Wan easily countered it with kind touches and soft words. 

And then there was Anakin.

Anakin wasn’t foolish, he could see that you and your Master didn’t get on and though he had questioned but never pushed the matter, he had become an expert in reading you. He always seemed to know exactly when you needed him, was always there with a shoulder to cry on and distractions that often pulled the two of you into some kind of mischief that Obi-Wan never scolded you too much for because he too could see when things had gotten bad.

You loved being a Jedi, loved helping people and saving them but some days you wondered what would have become of you had you not met Obi-Wan and Anakin. Would you have stayed with the Jedi or would you have left the Order many moons ago? You believed you would have left, if you hadn’t had Obi-Wan and Anakin’s kindness to counteract your Master’s harshness. You truly didn’t think you could survive the years spent as a Padawan, not without the Dark Side spreading through you until you were consumed by it .

“Stupid girl wasting your time with those two, though I suppose I cannot expect much better from someone so foolish.” Your Master spoke, pulling you away from your thoughts and bringing your attention back to him.

You barely suppressed a sigh but knew if you let it escape you’d be done for. The words you could take but if he ever saw signs of you fighting back against him, even something as little as a sigh or squaring your shoulders back, you knew that the consequences would be bad. 

It was a lesson you had learnt the hard way and your side still burned from where the Force lightning had been directed.

Instead you sat there, still as a statue and watched as one of the clones announced your Master was needed elsewhere. Once he had left the room you let yourself relax and looked towards the clone, Daar, and shot him a grateful look, smiling as he nodded back at you.

You were close to many of the troopers and knew that they saw how your Master treated you, he didn’t hide it around them, not when he could order them to stay silent and they couldn’t disobey him. A few had offered to though, they had come directly to you and told you they would gladly disobey orders if you asked them to. You had smiled at that but each time had told them to do as your Master said, no point the clones being punished when you could take what your Master gave.

The rest of the trip was blessedly silent, the clones coming up with a reason to keep your Master in another section of the craft and it wasn’t long before you were landing. 

The entire mission was a mess, that was the only word for it. Your orders were to protect both the people and the Senator but your Master seemed to only hear the last part of those orders as he laid out his plan that willingly sacrificed the people of the planet to get the Senator away safely.

The people were starving, held captive by the droid army and from your position you could see many slaughtered innocents. You grimanced before turning back to your Master as he spoke, your eyes wide as you listened to him, he was not a kind man but this was extreme even for him. How he was a member of the Jedi order, a Jedi Master, was completely beyond you.

“We can’t let him do this.” You told Daar as your Master left the craft, lightsaber already out as he and some clones fought droids in order to make it to the palace.

“What do you suggest we do instead?” Daar asked and all the remaining clones turned towards you, each of them waiting for orders from somebody who did not have the authority to give them but all of them willing to follow them no matter what.

You stood silently for a moment, shocked at how the troopers didn’t hesitate to turn to you, to let you give the orders but then a smile broke out on your face and you nodded. Nothing good would come from this for you, you would be punished both by the Council and privately by your Master but you refused to just let the people of this city die for no reason, not when you could save them.

“Out here we only have the droid army in our way, let Master deal with whatever member of the Empire is holding the Senator captive. You think we can get the people out?” You asked Daar and he shot you a grin as he nodded.

“Course we can, right boys?” He asked and the troopers gave a cheer causing your smile to widen.

From outside the craft you could see your Master had made progress with the droid blocking the entrance to the palace, his gaze turning back towards you and calling for more clones.

With a final glance at all the troopers, your gaze landed on Daar who gave you a softer smile and nodded causing you to nod back. The troopers put their helmets on and you all left the craft, you spared a final glance back as you all made your way in the opposite direction to see your Master’s furious glare towards you.

The droids seemed to multiply, for everyone you took down five more appeared. The troopers were fairing no better and there were a number of casualties but eventually you fought your way to where the citizens were being held. It took some effort to free them as droids fought back and you had to deal with your Master yelling every hateful word and threat he could think of through the comms but eventually the droids were down and stopped coming and you ushered the people towards your ships.

Your Master and the Senator, as well as the people who had been trapped in the palace with him, all stood around the crafts and you ignored your Master as you passed him, thankful when Daar put himself between the two of you so he couldn’t grab you and began handing out the food rations you had brought with you.

You tried to drag it out for as long as possible but eventually you had to leave. Boarding the ship, your heart was in your throat and anxiety pulsed through your veins, you waited for your Master to dole out whatever punishment he saw fit but it never came and that only made you more scared.

Daar noticed your anxiety and sat down next to you ignoring the glare your Master sent towards the two of you and patted you knee gently.

“You did go out there today.” He told you, the words quiet but the genuineness of them was clear and you couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your lips.

“Thank you,” you said, keeping your voice just as quiet, “I’m just glad we were able to save everybody.”

The trip back to Coruscant didn’t take too long, something you both hated and were grateful for. You weren’t foolish enough to believe you could slip away before your Master got a hold of you, knew what was to come but still once the ship landed you tried to leave as quickly as possible.

“Not so fast, Padawan.” Your Master snarled, his hand reaching over to wrap around your bicep, grip so tightly you winced and knew bruises would form but they would be the least of your worries after he was done with you. 

You could see the troopers behind him, could see Daar take a step forward but you shook your head as discreetly as you could, watching him step back reluctantly.

“Come with me.” The tone of the man’s voice was low and harsh as he dragged you away from onlookers.

It wouldn’t be long until you were called before the Jedi Council, your Master had already given the briefing through holocomm, but it was enough time for him to pull you into his quarters, far away from any witnesses and leave you crying out, withering on the floor as you felt the lightning produced by the Force spreading and burning your body, sweat pouring from you as you tried to fight against it but it was useless as you were pinned down by the Force.

Your Master gave you enough time to go to your chambers to clean up, tears and sobs leaving you as you tried to pull burnt fabric from the burns and covered it in as much bacta salve as you could.

You cupped water into your hands before splashing it across your face, desperate to hide evidence of what had happened. Despite it though you didn’t regret your actions, so many people were alive because of you and you would gladly go through that a thousand times if it meant they were safe.

Your Master showed up at your door and grabbed your arm again, dragging you down to where the Council members were gathered. He stopped abruptly outside the door and pressed his hand into where he had burned causing you to wince and bite back a sob.

“If you know what’s good for you you’ll keep your mouth shut.” He warned before standing up tall, a friendly look spreading across his face as he entered the room and greeted the members of the Council, you following behind and keeping your gaze down.

As you stood there you had to fight down protests, felt the anger rise in you as your Master painted a picture completely different to what had happened. As he told them his plan was to save the Senator before helping the citizens but you had jeopardised the entire mission as well as the lives of all the innocent people and the Senator’s to prove yourself. 

The pain in your side made it unbearable to stand but the hatred you felt in your veins, a deep anger you had never felt before made it hard to keep your mouth shut. How dare he, how dare he say you needed to prove yourself! It had never been about that, you only wanted to help people, you didn’t care if the Jedi Council took notice of your actions so long as the people who needed your aid were safe.

Once he was finished you finally looked up and came face to face with a sea of disappointed looks. The only person who didn’t look disappointed was Obi-Wan, instead he had a small furrow in between his brows as he looked between Master and Padawan, seeing something the others weren’t.

“A common occurrence, this is becoming.” Master Yoda said and your jaw clenched under the effort to stay silent. Of course the Council member’s thought you disobeying orders was a regular thing because no matter what you did your Master always, always, found a way to make it seem so. 

You managed to keep quiet, staring straight ahead, knowing that any attempt to counter your Master’s story would only end badly for you. The burning pains in your sides only reminded you of that, reminded you of what your Master was capable of.

“To add, have you anything?” Master Yoda asked you and it took every ounce of strength you had to not fall to your knees before the Council and beg with them to help you, to protest your Master’s fabrications, to show them what he did to you but you knew it would amount to nothing, your Master had taught you that long ago that Master’s could give out whatever punishment they saw fit.

As you shook your head you felt your anger spike again, though it seemed impossible that it could do so. From your side you could practically feel your Master’s smugness coming from him in waves.

The room stayed silent for a moment and you took the opportunity to look at Obi-Wan, his eyes already looking back at you. You watched as the man’s face softened though you could practically see how fast his thoughts were running as he knew something was wrong.

Obi-Wan had known for a long time something was not right. For years you had been by his side, he had watched you grow from a small, shy little thing into the young woman you were now. He had trained you, had brought you onto his missions with Anakin and watched you thrive under his guidance. He rarely got the chance to see you with your Master but the times he did, especially now, the person you were around him was not the person Obi-Wan knew. 

“Archive security, you shall do.” Master Yoda announced and Obi-Wan barely suppressed a sigh at Yoda’s choice of punishment, you weren’t going to like this at all.

“Archive security?” You repeated, the words coming out of your mouth without your permission. Your tone was complete disbelief as you stared at the Council member’s, watching as Obi-Wan rubbed at his forehead.

“A problem, you have with this?” Master Yoda asked and yes, yes you did have a problem with this because even though it got you out of missions with your Master it also meant it got you out of missions with Obi-Wan and Anakin and left you behind, alone with your Master.

You were desperate for that not to happen, you couldn’t cope with being around your Master anymore than you had to be. You knew it was a bad idea to argue with the Council, to do something else to anger your Master but still your mouth opened, words ready to fall when Obi-Wan cut you off, probably saving you from a worse punishment.

“Y/N.” He warned, his tone soft and gentle as you turned to look at him.

Obi-Wan shook his head and you silently pleaded with him but knew that even he couldn’t do anything to get you out of this. He had no proof beyond his own doubts and unfortunately that wasn’t solid evidence.

Oh stars, he thought to himself as he looked at your wide eyes, why won’t she just tell me what’s happening so I can help?

“No problem, Master Yoda, forgive my outburst.” You apologised robotically, hands clenched at your sides as you listened to Master Yoda dismiss you.

You bowed towards them, side burning at the movement and you barely choked back a sob at the pain but made your way out of the room.

You stood outside the Council doors, cursing the face that you were forced to remain here, alone without the two people you cared most for, the two people who made your Master’s actions easier to deal with. You longed to tell them about the burns covering your body but Master’s could do as they saw fit to punish their Padawan and you knew they would only turn you away.

“Y/N,” Obi-Wan called softly as he slipped from the room.  

Your head shot up to look at the man and you couldn’t help but let your thoughts run. Obi-Wan wouldn’t turn you away, right? In all the time you’d known him you had never seen him harm Anakin, no matter how badly his Padawan messed up. Perhaps if you told him, maybe he wouldn’t disagree with your Master’s way of dealing with you but maybe would help you patch yourself up.

Obi-Wan gave you a kind smile as he gestured for you to walk with him, each step sending a new wave of pain through your body.

“What really happened out there?” He asked softly as the two of you walked side by side.

You stayed silent for the longest time, thoughts running wild as you debated whether to tell Obi-Wan what was happening. You trusted Obi-Wan more than anybody, knew his kindness better than most and by the time the two of you arrived at his quarters you still hadn’t made a decision.

Obi-Wan let you remain silent, he could see the thoughts in your head, could see the frown on your face as you battled over what you could tell him. He could see the exhaustion coming from you, could see your anger and how you were ready to let it out. He hoped he could help, hoped you would finally tell him what happened behind closed doors.

The man let you through the doors first before following after you and gesturing you over to the sofa, raising his eyebrow as you grimanced whilst sitting.

“I wish you had been my Master.” You finally spoke after a long period of silence, the words so quiet Obi-Wan would have missed them if he wasn’t sitting so close to you. 

“As do I, young one.” He told you, taking your hand in yours and giving it a gentle, encouraging squeeze.

At his words, your eyes filled with tears, the exhaustion and pain and anger you felt all became too much suddenly as the tears fell down your cheeks one after the other, your breaths coming out as shaky sobs.

Obi-Wan’s own eyes widened at the sudden onset of tears but he didn’t hesitate to comfort you. He pulled you softly against his chest and you willingly went, hand gripping his cloak as he held the back of your head, running his fingers soothingly through your hair. 

The tears refused to slow and you stayed buried against Obi-Wan’s chest for a long time, the man's arms around you, holding you in place as he murmured gentle words of comfort, not rushing you to calm down but allowing you to work through it.

He could tell you had been holding onto these emotions for a long time, the tears coming from you ached his heart and he wanted nothing more than to wrap you up and keep you far away from your Master who was no doubt the cause of all of this. 

He didn’t let his own anger show, didn’t want you to think he was upset with you at all. It was rare for Obi-Wan to feel such anger, he liked to think by now he had a pretty good grip on his emotions but listening to you, your tears soaking his robes as you sobbed into his chest, he couldn’t feel much but anger.

At some point the tears subsided into sniffles, your eyes red and blood stained after crying for so long. Obi-Wan felt your breathing even out and thought you had fallen asleep, especially as you cuddled further into his chest but then you began speaking.

“I only wanted to save them.” You told Obi-Wan, your voice croaky from sobbing uncontrollably but also emotionless, “He was going to let them all die and I wanted to save them.”

“I believe you.” Obi-Wan told you and the honesty in his voice had you letting out a shaky breath.

“He punishes me,” You said, eyes falling closed as you forced yourself to keep talking, “it doesn’t matter what I do, he always finds a reason to punish me. Some days he doesn’t even need a reason.”

Obi-Wan’s own eyes fell closed as he dreaded your next words but asked anyway.

“How does he punish you, young one?” 

You were silent again and Obi-Wan, despite not wanting to hear the answer, needed to. He needed to know so he knew exactly how bad things had got, so he knew just how to help you.

“He uses the Force, uses lightning.” You said, the words bringing on a fresh set of tears but you kept them trapped behind your eyelids, pushing your face further into Obi-Wan’s chest.

Obi-Wan felt his heart stop at your answer, his blood running cold as mental images filled his head of you being burned with Force lightning. How had he never noticed? His grip tightened on you, his arms holding you closer but at your wince he pulled away like he himself had been burned.

“Y/N,” He said, the word so soft as he looked at you. You didn’t let him say anything else, you’d come this far you might as well go further and with that you pulled your cloak away and lifted your shirt enough for Obi-Wan to see the fresh burns as well as the old ones.

Obi-Wan gasped, his hand moving to touch the fresh one before pausing. There was fabric that seemed to have melted into your skin and he winced as he continued to stare. He had seen a lot of injuries in his lifetime but that had to be up there with some of the worst.

“Y/N,” He breathed out, his gaze shifting from your burns to your face, silent tears making their way down as you let your shirt cover them again.

Obi-Wan reached over to wipe at your cheeks, moving towards you and placing his lips to your forehead, letting them linger there before he pulled away.

“We have to inform the Council.” He told you softly and you looked at him, shaking your head but he cut you off before you could speak. “Y/N, he cannot be allowed to stay, what he has done to you is-” Obi-Wan cut himself off, not having the words to describe the pain inflicted onto you.

“Master’s can punish Padawan’s however they want.” You told them, the words were void of emotion and almost robotic, like you were repeating words you’d been told for years and Obi-Wan didn’t doubt that.

“No they cannot.” He told you, voice firm and you looked at him with wide eyes. “How many times has Anakin messed up since being my Padawan? I’ve lost count and I have never inflicted pain upon him. He gets a scolding and if the Council sees a harsher punishment is needed they will see to it but never would it be something that would harm the Padawan.” 

The words made your eyes water even more as you felt foolish, of course you should have known that.

“Don’t be so harsh on yourself, he made you believe something for a very long time. He manipulated you into keeping this pain a secret. You are not to blame, I promise you the Council will see that too.” Obi-Wan told you and you nodded, tears sliding down your face again and you wrapped your arms around him and cuddled into his chest again.

Obi-Wan held you close whilst making sure he wasn’t hurting you and swore he would see to it that your Master was dealt with. 

Anakin walked into his Master’s chambers after roaming the Temple looking for you after hearing about what had happened on your latest mission and stopped just inside the doorway as he took in the scene of you sobbing into Obi-Wan’s chest.

You hadn’t heard Anakin enter the room but Obi-Wan did and he glanced up at Anakin with a sad smile as he held you. He was glad Anakin was here, he wanted to keep you out of this meeting though he knew the Council would want to speak to you, he wondered if perhaps any of the clones had seen anything and would be willing to speak up about it.

He gestured for Anakin to come closer and you jumped when you felt Anakin sit beside you, relaxing when you saw it was him.

“I know archive security is boring but that’s a lot of tears.” Anakin said softly and you couldn’t stop the choked laugh that escaped you causing the two men to smile.

“I have to speak with the Council,” Obi-Wan told the two of you and you turned to look at him with fear shining in your eyes. From behind you he could see Anakin’s questioning look but just shook his head. “If you want to be there whilst I tell them you can be but it’s completely your decision.”

“I’ll stay with Anakin.” You told him softly, sniffing as you rubbed at your eyes. “You can tell him.” You allowed, gesturing to Anakin as you leaned back into Obi-Wan, even more exhausted than you had been before.

You listened as Obi-Wan filled Anakin in on what he had missed, listening with a small smile as Anakin fumed on your behalf, threatening to go and deal with your Master himself but Obi-Wan assured him it would be dealt with and that his only job was to look after you whilst he spoke to the Council.

That seemed to calm Anakin down and he nodded, sitting back down next to you and letting Obi-Wan transfer you from his arms to Anakin’s, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before he stood and readjusted his cloak. 

“You know where I’ll be if you need me.” Obi-Wan said before he turned to leave the room.

Anakin looked down at you as you lay on his chest and smiled softly. He wished Obi-Wan would allow him to deal with your Master but knew you needed him more. 

“Come on.” Anakin said, nudging you up softly being mindful of the injuries Obi-Wan had told him about. He knew sitting on the sofa wouldn’t help your wounds and instead stood, smiling at the soft whine of protest that came from you before you took his offered hand and let him lead you over to the bed.

You had to admit it felt much better to be laying down and as Anakin pulled you back into his arms you couldn’t help but relax, feeling better than you had in a long while. It seemed bizarre that Obi-Wan was going to talk to the Council about this, that it wasn’t normal and the Council were going to have something to say about it. 

It almost felt like a dream, like you’d wake up with your Master standing over you with a smirk on his face.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Anakin whispered as he pressed a kiss to your hair and you smiled, hand holding the fabric of his shirt and cuddling further into him.

“You didn’t know.” You whispered back, eyes heavy as they fell closed and you couldn’t find the strength to open them again.

“Nobody will ever hurt you again, I promise.” You were certain that was a promise Anakin couldn’t keep, no matter how hard he tried but you appreciated it all the same. 

Cuddled up in Anakin’s arms, in Obi-Wan’s moments before, felt safe. It was as safe as you had felt for a long time and knowing that the two of them cared so much about you, that they were willing to speak up for you and, in Anakin’s face, threaten the man who had caused you so much harm, had you believing that things would be ok. Once your Master was gone and you had only the two of them you truly believed that, in time, you would be ok.

--

Obi-Wan Taglist -

@paintlavillered, @captainamericasdaughter15, @alexxavicry, @bubsonnobx, @starkillerrr, @heyitsaloy, @maybell88

Ours

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Prompts - Seems like there's always someone who disapproves, they'll judge it like they know about me and you

It was no secret, no matter how much it had started as one, that you and Obi-Wan shared a bond deeper than friendship, a bond that seemed to run soul deep, unable to be broken by the Force itself. It was a bond that had been forming for many years now, somehow still growing bigger and more stable as time went on. You’d felt drawn to Obi-Wan, the Padawan a few years older than you who hadn’t hesitated to take you under his wing as you arrived at the Temple, the Padawan who you spent each day with. 

Master Qui-Gon had watched his Padawan carefully, the man was far more lenient with the way of the Jedi, with the code they should follow. He was content to sit back, to watch as his Padawan grew up and began to navigate his feelings for the younger Padawan he had befriended years ago. He knew the Council didn’t like it, he saw the weary looks that were shot your way as you and Obi-Wan were more than happy to sit alone together, blocking out the rest of the room, the rest of the world, to focus on each other.

Master Windu had warned him more times than he could count that he should put an end to this friendship, that nothing good would come from whatever it would grow into, Qui-Gon had quietly disagreed as he looked to his young Padawan, he thought the bond that was forming would only mean great things. Master Yoda had also pulled him aside to speak of attachments and what that would lead to and again Qui-Gon let him talk but ultimately did nothing to stop the two of you from being friends.

He had always known the two of you would be more than friends, it was rare for Jedi to create the kind of bond the two of you had, to be able to speak freely between your minds, to feel each other’s emotions as if they were your own and yet when Obi-Wan had confided in him that such a bond existed, fear clear on his face that Qui-Gon would march the two of you to the Council and order the bond to be broken, Qui-Gon wasn’t surprised. He wasn’t surprised that the two of you were so deeply entwined with each other, he had been shocked to learn just how developed the bond was but not shocked by its existence. 

You and Obi-Wan weren’t foolish, you weren’t oblivious to the stares and the whispers that were sent your way, you just didn’t care enough to put a stop to them, why should you? It wasn’t forbidden to be friends and you and Obi-Wan had grown up side by side, hardly ever without the other. 

Whilst Master Qui-Gon was supportive, encouraging whatever was happening between Obi-Wan and yourself, your own Master had tried for many years to put a stop to it. It hadn’t worked, of course, his attempts only managed to put a strain on your relationship with your Master until you found yourself training alongside Master Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, much more content to learn at Obi-Wan’s side.

For years you had remained oblivious to your feelings, content to just have Obi-Wan at your side and bask in the friendship he offered to you. It was only as you grew older that you realised just how deeply you liked him, realised that the bond the two of you shared was a gift from the Force and not something just anybody could do. Even when you didn’t know just how deeply you felt for Obi-Wan you knew you had formed an attachment to him years ago, you knew that attachment had formed the day he smiled at you and offered to show you around. You knew the attachment was strong, knew that if something ever happened to Obi-Wan you would turn the galaxy upside down for him without hesitation.

Obi-Wan knew he felt the same for you. After countless nights of staring up at the ceiling, confused and scared that he was a terrible Jedi but not wanting to give you up he had finally sat down with his own Master, thankful that the man was much more relaxed about the Code and encouraged him to see where the Force would lead you and him. It was a conversation he needed, one that he could meditate on after being assured that not all attachments were bad, after Qui-Gon had asked him if he felt like his relationship to you would lead Obi-Wan down a dark path. Obi-Wan knew that if anything happened to you he would be devastated, he would be heartbroken, his whole world would become empty but he didn’t think it was bad, he didn’t think it was a dark attachment, he didn’t feel possessive over you, he only felt fondness, he felt happy and light, he felt love and loved in return.

Obi-Wan liked to think he was a good Jedi, he liked to think he followed the rules and would make a good Knight one day and yet he saw the disapproving stares of the Masters as the two of you wandered the halls together, he felt their weariness through the Force and doubted himself. It never lasted long though, only until he saw you again and you made the risk of not being a perfect Jedi worth it.

Years passed and you and Obi-Wan continued to grow closer. The two of you were practically one with each other, if you were looking for Y/N, all you had to do was find the Kenobi boy and vice-versa, people hardly spoke only one of your names, instead they said Y/N and Obi-Wan because that’s how it was, it was always the two of you. 

The Jedi Council had spent years frowning and disapproving but had never outright said anything to either you or Obi-Wan, they had spoken to your Master’s about their thoughts but nothing beyond that. It was something that was monitored carefully as if they were waiting for one of you to slip and turn to the Dark Side. You silently thought it was stupid of them to be so mistrustful of the two of you, whilst between you and Obi-Wan you were the more reckless and far more lenient with the rules, neither of you had shown any signs from straying from the Light Side, Force forbid you love the boy you had spent all your days with though.

The day you and Obi-Wan finally stopped dancing around your feelings and spoke about them was rather anti-climactic. With how built up the whole situation was, with how much disapproval was surrounding the bond you shared it felt like when Obi-Wan had cupped your cheek in his hand and pulled you in for a soft and slow kiss that something ground shaking should have happened, something beyond the fireworks and butterflies you felt. It felt like you were supposed to pull back and see a Sith eyes staring back at you or were meant to feel angry and murderous, instead you felt happier than ever pulling back and sharing a wide smile with Obi-Wan being pulling him back to you.

You had agreed quickly though that it stayed between the two of you, best not to give the Council a reason to act on their feelings. Keeping it a secret was easy enough as nothing seemed to change between you two, only that now you could actually kiss him whenever you wanted to. Your chambers were much too dangerous however, what with your Master still hating your connection with Obi-Wan, at least with Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon was more than used to seeing you in their quarters, though the first time he had walked in on the two of you making out of the sofa had left you and Obi-Wan blushing madly and refusing to so much as look at the Jedi Master for days after much to his amusement. 

As time passed you and Obi-Wan only became closer and you couldn’t understand just why the Jedi forbid attachments but kept silent on the matter. In all the years you’d known Obi-Wan nothing seemed bad about your connection and yet all it took was one day to show you exactly why the Jedi Order didn’t allow relationships like the one you shared with Obi-Wan.

It was how you found yourself in the turbolift surrounded by other Jedi who shot you looks but ultimately remained silent. The silence was so loud, you knew they all knew what had happened, knew you had been called to the Council room and their silence made you want to get out at the next stop and take the stairs just to be away from them. You wished Obi-Wan was with you, wished he was there to take your hand in his and whisper through your bond that everything would be alright even if it wouldn’t. He wasn’t there though, instead you were stuck in the turbolift giving you time to the strangers who glared and stared at you.

When the door finally opened you didn’t rush from the turbolift, instead you walked at your normal pace, forcing one foot in front of the other and held your head high as you made your way to the Council room. Though you looked calm inside you were terrified, surely they wouldn’t force you to leave but when it came to attachments the Jedi weren’t known to brush it off, it was a wonder you and Obi-Wan had been allowed so much leeway this long. You were sure you mostly had Master Qui-Gon to thank for that, knowing the man had been taking the brunt of complaints for years and yet had never once discouraged yours and Obi-Wan’s relationship.

You were really glad the man was in the meeting today.

It didn’t take too long before you were stood before the Jedi Council, cold looks sent your way but the Master’s shields were so secure you couldn’t feel their emotions, couldn’t determine just how bad this was going to be for you. You stood in silence, waiting for one of them to speak first, waited for them to express their disapproval, to judge every aspect of your relationship with Obi-Wan like they were privy to the ins and outs of it.

“Reckless, young Padawan, you have been.” Master Yoda spoke finally and even as every part of you wanted to shrink against the words, wanted to curl in on yourself, you refused and instead stood straight, pushing your shoulders back and swallowed around the lump in your throat.

“Many lives, you jeopardised. The mission, all for Padawan Kenobi, you risked.” You knew he was right, you couldn’t argue with his words but you stuck by your actions.

What should have been a simple mission with Obi-Wan aiding Master Qui-Gon on a diplomatic trip ended with Obi-Wan and the Senator being capture for days on end with the Council doing little to help, having no ransom demands, no threats, or taunts to go on and no trail to follow.

You had gone to them and told them you could help but they had brushed you aside. You knew if Qui-Gon had been there he would have allowed you to speak but he was still on the planet Obi-Wan had been taken from. 

You could feel nothing but pain coming from the bond between you and Obi-Wan, feeling it as if it were your own. You tried to call to him but he never answered and you couldn’t blame him, not when you could feel the pain and torture he was feeling. You tried to send as much positivity, positivity you didn’t even feel, through the bond, not even sure if he could feel it through the pain but you needed him to know he would be ok, that you were going to get him one way or another.

Stealing a ship wasn’t your finest moment but you could feel Obi-Wan slipping away as each day went by, all the while the Council sat in their meeting room, trying to find out where Obi-Wan was. You had never had to locate Obi-Wan using your bond, there had never been a need for it when you spent every day together, give or take mission days, but you knew you could do it, you knew you could find him.

And you had found him, he wasn’t the only one who had been taken, there were many citizens in the holding place. You hardly spared them a second glance, focus only on finding Obi-Wan so much so that you didn’t hear the person sneaking up behind you, only barely avoiding the blaster shot and watching as it hit a Twi’lek, her body slumping over but you didn’t have time to dwell on it as you pulled your lightsaber out and deflected more blaster shots, not even looking at the bodies around you.

Eventually you were surrounded on all sides and were giving as good as you got, only pausing when you felt your bond with Obi-Wan fill with a pain that almost sent you to your knees before the bond stuttered. Panic surged through you and it hadn’t taken you long to deal with the people shooting at you, leaving their bodies behind as you let the Force guide your way to Obi-Wan.

You froze in the doorway, only able to stare at his body trapped in a containment field, he was being forced upright but his body still sagged in pain, blood pouring from his lip and he looked a mess. Before you could even think about walking towards him a blaster shot ran past your head forcing you to look away from Obi-Wan and begin fighting with the only person in the room with him, as well as the two droids either side of him.

This was the first time you had ever been in a situation like this, one where you had to fight without a Master overseeing your actions but you didn’t have time to dwell on it, didn’t have time to think about anything other than getting Obi-Wan from the containment field and as far away from this place as possible. With only that thought in your head it was surprisingly easy to deal with the human and droids until only you and Obi-Wan remained in the room.

Getting him from the containment field had been easy enough with some help from the Force, carrying this weight over your shoulder was less easy but you managed, walking right past all the other people who had been taken, knowing that somewhere among the people was the Senator that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had been tasked with protecting but your only goal was getting Obi-Wan to safety.

And now Obi-Wan was tucked up in a bed at the far side of the healing chambers and you were stood before the Council ready to accept whatever punishment was decided for you, knowing full well you didn’t regret your decision and would make the same choices again in a heartbeat.

“Anything to say, have you?” Master Yoda asked and you wondered whether you should defend your actions or just accept the punishment and get back to Obi-Wan. 

You found your gaze seeking out Master Qui-Gon, his eyes already locked on you, giving you an encouraging nod to do whatever you thought was best and as much as you wanted to be at Obi-Wan’s side you also wanted to speak.

You knew anything you had to say would not settle the Council, in fact you were aware that your words would do quite the opposite and cause them to question your loyalties, to see just how far the bond between you and Obi-Wan, how it went much deeper than they thought.

Even before you realised your feelings for Obi-Wan you had never understood why Jedi couldn’t fall in love, why attachments were such a bad thing. After realising you were in love with your best friend you hated the rule even more, hated that your own feelings had to be squashed to nothing to serve the greater good, that all you were supposed to have was your duty. 

“I won’t apologise for my actions, Masters.” You began, watching as a smile spread across Qui-Gon’s face. “My goal was to save Obi-Wan, to save the man who I knew was barely holding on, a man who went through pain for days as you sat in this very room doing nothing productive to find him. I came to you all and offered my assistance, told you I could find Obi-Wan and yet I was dismissed whilst he was hurting. Had I been listened to I could have led you to Obi-Wan and with more aid you could have gotten the Senator and the others but I am only one person and I was only there for Obi-Wan.”

The room was silent, nobody willing to admit that you had a point, you had come to them but they had dismissed your plea to help as a way of inserting yourself into the rescue mission to see what was happening. 

However, they could also see the attachment clearly, see how you only focused on Obi-Wan when any other Jedi would have focused on the citizens taken. Qui-Gon was the only Master smiling, the rest sat with frowns and far away looks as you stood tall, waiting to see which Master would break the silence first.

“There is a reason attachments are forbidden, young Padawan, it is an easy fall to the Dark Side from there.” Master Windu said and you just about refrained from rolling your eyes but you needn’t have bothered suppressing it as Master Windu clearly picked up on it. “Surely even you can see that, blinded as you are by your attachment to the Kenobi boy. What would have happened if he was already dead? You may have killed them to save the boy but what would you have done to get revenge.”

“I am not going to go Dark Side, Master Windu, just because I care for Obi-Wan. You can speculate and call upon what if’s all you like but I won’t fall.” You said, voice calm and steady, not daring to show any of the  anger you felt, knowing it would only fuel their doubts about your loyalty. 

You hated how the Jedi only seemed to see things in black and white, how they couldn’t see the middle ground. Love didn’t always have to be a thing to be feared, a thing that would turn a good Jedi to the Dark Side, how the smallest attachment would be catastrophic. 

“Promise that, you cannot. Easy to fall should anything happen to Padawan Kenobi, it will be.” Master Yoda said and you knew there was no arguing with them, knew they had already made their mind up over the situation.

“What is my punishment, Masters?” You sighed softly, just waiting to be with Obi-Wan now. 

You glanced over at Qui-Gon as you heard a soft chuckle, watching as the others glared at him but he didn’t pay them any mind, instead focusing his attention on you and sending you a warm smile.  

“Your punishment, young Padawan, is no more missions until we decide you pose no risk of falling to the Dark Side, you will be in Archive security. When we deem you fit to return to duty and will not be paired alongside Padawan Kenobi.” You barely suppressed the outraged exclamation at not being paired with Obi-Wan anymore, especially when everyone knew the two of you worked together perfectly, completely in sync like you were the same person, always knowing the others move without having to exchange words but you choked it down, refusing to show them how much it affected you.

“Master Windu-” Qui-Gon began but was cut off by the man before he could speak further.

“The decision is final and Padawan Y/L/N should be glad that is all the punishment is.” Master Windu said and you knew to him he thought he was right but to you, taking you away from Obi-Wan was the worst punishment he could give.

“Do you really think it wise to separate them? Not even you can deny how well they work together.” Master Qui-Gon said and you felt a warmth run through you at Obi-Wan’s Master, at the Master who had practically taken you on as his own with no complaints, the man who had encouraged and approved of your ever growing relationship with Obi-Wan.

“The decision is final.” Master Windu said, his voice cold and stern, telling you there was no room for discussion. “Oh, Padawan Y/L/N, one more condition of your punishment before you leave.”

“Yes, Master Windu?” You tried to take a calming breath, tried to push all your emotions into the Force but found it didn’t help.

“You are to end your relationship with Padawan Kenobi immediately.” As the words left Master Windu’s mouth you felt your eyes fill with tears, a laugh of disbelief escaping you as you shook your head. “That is non-negotiable, Padawan Y/L/N.”

You shook your head again, never really having stopped, refusing to even entertain the idea. Instead of saving anything, instead of waiting to be dismissed you turned around and walked out of the room, ignoring the annoyed call of your name telling you this meeting wasn’t over. It was, it was well and truly over because if they thought they could ask that of you, demanded that of you, and you would stick around they weren’t as smart as people gave them credit for. 

You stormed through the hallways, glared as people stared at you in the turbolift. Ignoring the whispers that followed you down to the medical quarters you quickly made your way to Obi-Wan’s bed, drawing the privacy screens to finally block everyone out. 

You wished some days you could just leave, you knew Obi-Wan would follow you. The two of you could just run off together, hide away on a far off planet, a little house just for the two of you. It was a great dream but you knew deep down that wasn’t the path for either of you. You had always known Obi-Wan was destined for something more, something amazing and you could feel you were meant to be at his side, helping him when he needed guidance. 

Your anger could be felt so strongly, you had always known that once you and Obi-Wan got together that the stakes would be high, there was so much on the line and it was always going to be risky but it had finally come to a head, the Council finally deciding that your relationship was dangerous. 

You couldn’t help but scoff at the thought, how anyone could associate Obi-Wan and being dangerous together was beyond you.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you weren’t glad to see me alive.” Obi-Wan’s voice broke through your thoughts, instantly cutting through the anger you felt.

Your head lifted to his, eyes still watery and a few tears had made their way down your face causing Obi-Wan’s concerned look to deepen. 

“What happened, dear?” He asked softly, sitting up in bed and only feeling a twinge of pain after being in the bacta tank for so long.

You could only shake your head, seemingly unable to produce any words as more tears filled your eyes. 

“Come here.” Obi-Wan murmured, shifting over in his bed and pulling the thin covers back for you to climb in next to him.

It was exactly what you needed, crawling into the small bed with him, cuddling into him until an outsider wouldn’t be able to tell where you ended and Obi-Wan started. Obi-Wan didn’t rush you to talk even despite his worry, he just wrapped you in his arms and let you cry into his chest. Whispering soft, comforting words whilst his hand slipped into yours, entwining them together, the hand tough from years of wielding a lightsaber but seemed like it had been made perfectly for you to hold, feeling like your hands belonged together.

“Why do they get to speculate if our relationship is wrong, Obi?” You whispered into his chest after some time had passed.

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but frown at your words but before he could say anything you were speaking again.

“They don’t know anything about me and you, they don’t know that I could never fall to the Dark Side because when I’m around you I feel lighter than ever.  I feel my happiest and yet they want to take that away from us, they get to decide the verdict, decide how our lives should be lived.” You ranted, finally able to speak freely knowing Obi-Wan wouldn’t share your words with anyone. 

“What happened?” Obi-Wan asked again when it was clear you weren’t going to say anything else.

“I was called before the Council,” you said, shifting to look up at him just in time for him to see you roll your eyes causing him to smile, “they wanted to discuss my punishment.”

“Your punishment? You saved my life, how could they punish that?” Obi-Wan asked in confusion, leaning into your touch as you brushed a piece of hair back from his forehead before letting your hand trail down to cup his cheek, thumb brushing across his cheekbone.

“I rescued you without their permission, even though when I tried to go to them nobody listened. When I rescued you, Obi-Wan I could feel you dying through our bond, I could feel the pain they inflicted on you and the life draining from you and I acted on instinct. I killed the people who took you hostage and other hostages died because of it and when I got you I left them and the Senator there.” You told him and he could see on your face you didn’t regret it. 

“Thank you for saving me.” He murmured, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours softly, feeling you relax further into him as you kissed him back, pulling him impossibly closer before the two of you pulled away, foreheads resting against each other. “What did the council say?” He whispered, no need to be any louder from this distance.

“That we can’t work missions together anymore,” Obi-Wan’s eyes widened at that, not completely shocked but it was no secret the two of you were an incredible duo, the bond between you only strengthening your success. “I’m not to be on missions until they give me permission and we have to break up.”

Obi-Wan could only stare at you, your eyes filling with tears again as you scrunched them shut in an effort to stop them falling. Obi-Wan shifted and pulled you into his arms, tucking you under his chin and feeling you bury your face against him. 

For a while the two of you stayed silent, content to be in each other’s arms as you let the words hang in the air. Your stomach felt sick as you waited to hear what Obi-Wan had to say, he had always been more concerned at following the rules, at being a good Jedi compared to you.

“I love you, Y/N,” Obi-Wan murmured and the smile that spread across your face couldn’t be stopped, “I love everything about you and no snide remarks from the other Padawan’s or verdicts from the Council is ever going to change that. We knew this wouldn’t be easy, hoped that they wouldn’t find out but knew they would eventually and they might think they hold power over us but they can’t take what’s ours, they can’t take our love away from us. You know you just have to say the words, I’d leave this Temple with you in an instant, I’d follow you to the end of the galaxy and all you have to do is ask.”

“You’re meant to be here, Obi-Wan,” You said, pulling back again to smile up at him with watery eyes and he couldn’t help but smile back. “And I’m meant to be by your side. It’s not going to be easy but you belong here. We’ll make it work, I don’t care how hard it gets so long as you’re mine and we have each other. I love you, Obi-Wan.” 

“You have too much faith in me, dear one.” Obi-Wan told you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I will be yours until you no longer wish to have me, no matter what the Council demands.”

“Then you’ll be mine forever.” You grinned up at him and he mirrored the expression before leaning down to kiss you again, this time more wildly, with a hunger that only your lips could ease. 

“Forever it is, my beloved.” He murmured against your lips before leaning back in to kiss you, fingers tangling in your hair as you gripped his shirt, only pulling away when it became necessary to breathe.

It was easy to forget about the Council member’s decisions, easy to forget about the looks you received walking through the Temple, easy to forget that there was a whole world beyond the privacy screens as Obi-Wan pulled you into his chest. The two of you comfortably tangled around each other as you closed your eyes, the earlier blood boiling anger you’d felt completely gone after being with Obi-Wan and it was easy to drift off in his arms. 

Neither of you were naive enough to think it’d be easy to hide your relationship from the Council now, knew that the next few weeks, months, even years would be long and difficult but like you had said so long as you had each other the two of you could get through anything. So long as you had each other, loved each other with every fibre of your being then not even the Council could take that away from you. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi Taglist - 

@paintlavillered​, @captainamericasdaughter15​, @alexxavicry​, @bubsonnobx​, @starkillerrr​, @heyitsaloy​

I've Been Waiting For You

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Angstember Prompt - “Don't look"

It seemed like a lifetime ago you were in an entirely different place, despite the repetitiveness of the days each of them was still different enough that you held your breath every morning when one of the many men watching the growing group of people came in. All different types of people were being held, men, women, girls, and boys of all ages. 

You knew that the day was guaranteed to have some sort of pain, at least one moment but usually more than a handful where you just wanted to curl in a ball and cry. The days were long and the nights even longer, when you finally did have a moment’s peace it was spent on edge, silently begging somebody to come and rescue you, begging for anybody to save you.

One day things changed, it started out much the same as any other day with one of the men barging into the room but instead of yelling for you all to get ready he walked further into the room, two other men following close behind, and made his way to you. The smirk on his face had your stomach churning and you knew something worse was coming.

You hardly put up a fight as your wrists were bound together behind your back, how could you when they hardly fed you? The small bit of food you did get was shared with the younger children, the look of hunger and fright on their faces managed to get you to shove your own hunger down. 

From there you were led out of the room, scared eyes watching your every step until everything went dark as a blindfold was placed over your eyes. You felt your breathing quicken, tears filled your eyes but you scrunched them shut tightly to prevent them from falling, knowing that whatever was about to happen would only be ten times worse if they saw you crying. 

You didn’t know what was to come but you did know that when somebody was taken from the big room you were all forced into they never came back. Screaming could usually be heard once they were taken and everybody assumed the worst from that point.

It wasn’t until you felt the cold air that you paused, the man behind you shoving you forward causing you to stumble over your feet before you righted yourself and continued on. You couldn’t remember the last time you had actually been outside, for so long you had been trapped within the walls of wherever they were holding you and despite your desperate, silent pleas to be rescued you had long since given up hope of it ever actually happening.

You forced a sob that threatened to escape your throat down, knowing that you weren’t actually free, in fact it was probably the opposite. You felt yourself get grabbed by the man behind you, his large hand wrapping around your bicep as he stopped you only to shove you into a car seconds later. You were forced between two of the men that had led you out whilst the other drove, no words being spoken the entire journey as you tried to prepare yourself to die.

You couldn’t say how long the car ride lasted, the blindfold that was still tightly in place prevented you from even taking a guess at what time it was. It seemed to take forever though before the car pulled to a stop and the doors were being opened. 

The man to your right shoved you out of the car, you had almost fallen to the ground if not for one of them catching you by the arm again. He dragged you along with him, the air around you felt colder now so you assumed at least a good few hours had passed since you’d gotten in the car.

You tried to steady your breathing but found it was too difficult, your breath coming out in fast bursts that ached your chest. You flinched as a loud knock filled the silence, the sound of a heavy door opening coming a moment later.

The air in the room was almost suffocating compared to the cold outside but it finally forced a deep breath out of you. Music could be heard alongside several different conversations that you couldn’t make out and the smell of cigarettes and alcohol filled the room. 

You were dragged through the room, walking until you were forced to stop and the blindfold was ripped from you. Despite the darkness of the room you still had to blink hard to adjust to it, low lights that barely lit the room up but did well enough of a job that you saw a group of men all sat around a table, half-drunk glasses scattered in front of them and they all had their attention on you. Hungry eyes darting up and down your figure as you resisted the urge to shudder.

“You always do bring such beauties for me.” A man at the head of the table grinned and you just about suppressed a grimace at the expression. 

“Boss said she’s all yours, payment for the ammo.” One of the men behind you said and this time you couldn’t hide your reaction, it was only a widening of your eyes but you knew the man at the table had seen it as his grin widened wickedly.

“A pretty payment indeed.” He replied, his eyes having yet to leave you even as he waved a dismissive hand to the two men who had escorted you in. 

Once the men had gone the man at the table stood and you forced yourself to stand still as he approached you, his hand coming up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before his fingers grazed your cheek.

When he flicked a blade in front of you, however, that’s when you couldn’t hide your flinch, the blade coming closer towards you had you fighting to stay still.

“Relax gorgeous,” He murmured softly, the blade cutting away the rope restraints on your wrists and the man brushing his thumb over the raw skin. “I’ll take real good care of you.”

Months passed much the same as they always had except this time instead of answering to the group of men who had originally taken you, you now answer to Julian. He treated you just as poorly as the others had, fed you just as little though thankfully you didn’t have to share with anybody. You had long since given up on your silent prayers of rescue, came to the realisation nobody was coming, that this was your life now.

Every night without fail you went to bed sore and with tears falling down your face unsure of just how much more of this you could take.

Bruises seemed to cover most of your body, a brutal beating from Julian after a rival gang had betrayed him. You were left curled up, unable and unwilling to move. Months and months of constant beatings and you couldn’t do it anymore. 

You stayed where you were for a while, probably would have stayed there even longer had you not flinched into a sitting position, every part of you aching and protesting the move but the reaction was automatic when hearing a gunshot, the shooter seemed to keep his finger on the trigger for a while as it didn’t pause, it just continued shooting.

Julian ran into the room, pale faced with sweat pooling on his forehead as he looked at you with wide eyes. You didn’t have time to react, before you knew it the man was yanking you up and placing you in front of him as he backed out of the room, his gun stretched in front of him to your right, visible to you as you looked at it in fear, knowing that with one wrong move and the man wouldn’t hesitate to take your life.

Eventually Julian made it to the safe room, it was only small, the doorway disguised so that it couldn’t be found in a situation like this. Julian kept you in front of him, kept his gun raised and the only sound to be heard was his heavy breathing as you tried to stay as silent as possible even with the tears making their way down your face, mixing with the dried blood that had poured from cuts made by his rings earlier. 

The silence seemed to last for hours, tension heavy in the air as the sound of gunshots finally stopped. It was so silent that the sound of heavy boots outside in the hallway could clearly be heard from behind the safe room door, Julian's grip on your arm was painfully tight as he held you in place. You weren’t exactly sure what his plan was, he had made a lot of enemies with other gang members in the time you had known him and not one of them would hesitate to kill you to get to him, all he was doing was buying himself maybe a few more seconds.

The door opened and your eyes widened at the man before you, two guns were held in his hands as he filled the doorway, the light behind him making him look even more dangerous though you supposed the blood covering him also helped with that image. 

The man didn’t move, just stood before the two of you and you felt Julian’s fingers digging into your skin somehow even tighter than they already had been, you were close enough to feel him shaking as he shot his own gun.

You flinched at the deafening noise right next to your ear, tears flowing faster down your face because despite the fact you knew the man wouldn’t keep you alive if it meant killing Julian there was some part of you, some small part that you thought had died a long time ago, that hoped the man would help you get away from this gang, from Julian, but Julian had ruined it.

Your eyes fell shut, not wanting to watch as the man who could have changed your life was killed.

Instead though you heard the sound of the other man’s gun, one single shot came from him before you felt Julian slump forward against your back. You hadn’t even fully registered what had happened, barely felt his weight before you were being pulled away from Julian. The stranger moved the guns to rest on his back as one arm wrapped around your shoulder and the other guided your head to his chest, holding you against him so you couldn’t move.

“Don’t look,” He murmured to you when you tried to pull away to look into the safe room, “He can’t hurt you anymore, I promise.”

With those words you began to sob, for the first time in years you didn’t try to suppress the noise, you just let them out as the man guided you from the building, never once letting go of you. 

By the time you got to the man's van your sobs had calmed into sniffles and shaky breaths even as the tears continued to flow down your cheeks, the man held the door open for you and you climbed in despite your reluctance to let go of him. The man gave you a soft smile, a stark contrast to how he had looked before in the doorway, taking his jacket off and wrapping it around you before shutting the door gently and making his way over to the driver's side.

The journey was silent, you didn’t know where the man was taking you but you didn’t care. It felt easy to trust the man, maybe trust wasn’t the right word but you certainly didn’t think he was a part of another gang. You had met many gang members and none of them had ever been quite as gentle with you.

Eventually the two of you pulled up to an apartment complex and Frank was the first to get out, you sat in your seat staring up at the building unable to remember a time when you yourself had lived in a crappy run down building with family members you couldn’t quite recall. 

You jumped slightly when the man opened the door for you, you knew he had seen it but didn’t comment on it, instead he gave you a small smile and held a hand out for you which you took gratefully. It was slightly overwhelming walking into the building, even more so walking into the man’s apartment and being greeted by an excited dog jumping up at you.

You couldn’t help but flinch as it did, your experience with dogs was limited but the gang had some that they used to scare people and it worked, the dogs weren’t afraid to attack when commanded though you did feel awful for them once you saw exactly how the members trained them to do it.

“Down,” The man commanded, not having to raise his voice or lift his fist to get the dog to listen and you watched in slight awe as the dog whined but did as his owner told him before trotting off to a dog bed in the living room. “He’s a big softie really.” The man told you and you couldn’t help the small, barely there smile that pulled at your lips, something that hadn’t happened in a long time, as the man shot his dog a soft look before turning his attention to you just in time to watch you shiver slightly.

“I’ll get you some clothes,” The man told you, gesturing for you to follow him into a bedroom.

You stood in the doorway, arms wrapping around yourself to fight against the chill. You were glad for the man's jacket covering your less than clothed body. The lack of clothing was something you had long since grown used to, not having been allowed to wear proper clothing since you were taken and you couldn’t but feel excited at the chance to wear some, to actually be warm and covered for the first time in years. 

“They’ll be a bit big but they’ll do,” he said as he handed you some clothing, “Come out when you’re ready.” 

He waited until you gave him a nod before he left the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click. You could only stare down at the clothing in your hands for a few moments, brushing your hands along them and feeling how soft they were.

You eventually managed to move again, peeling off the jacket and the little clothing you had before changing into the man’s clothes, blinking against the sudden wave of tears that filled your eyes again, completely overwhelmed at everything around you, at the fact that you were finally free from the men who had taken you, free from Julian and his men.

Once you were done you opened the door, your old clothes bundled in your hands as you looked around and spotted Frank in the kitchen, two steaming bowls in front of him. 

“Give me them,” he said, reaching to take the old clothes from you and not even hesitating to throw them in the trash much to your amusement and you couldn’t stop the small giggle that left your lips, the man’s face lighting up at the sound. “Sit down, got some soup for you, eat as much as you want.”

The two of you sat at the small table, knees brushing against each other as you picked the spoon up and brought it to your lips. Despite it being such a plain meal to most, to you it was the best thing you had tasted. It warmed you from the inside and you couldn’t stop yourself from scooping more into your mouth.

The man ate his own soup at a much slower pace, watching you with amused eyes though a sympathetic smile played on his lips. So many questions flooded his head, how long had you been with Julian’s gang, how long had you been beaten and starved, when had you been taken, were there more of you?

He waited until you had finished, until you had declined another bowl before he broke the peaceful silence that had settled between you as you ate. 

“You got anywhere to go kid? Any family?” He asked gently, not wanting to upset you but if there was somebody out there for you he’d make it his goal to get you back to them.

You shook your head, looking away from him as you did. Obviously you were sad about your family but over the years you had sort of forgotten things about them, you knew the basics, remembered how many people made up your family but forgot what they looked like, forgot exactly where you had lived with them. You were so young when you were taken the few memories you did have were quickly replaced with ones from the first place you had stayed immediately after being taken. 

This life was the only one you truly knew and that was terrifying.

“That’s alright,” Frank told you softly, causing you to look up at him with wide eyes, watching as he reached over slowly and took your hands in one of his to stop you from nervously picking at the skin. “You can stay here.”

“Thank you,” You told him, voice breaking as tears filled your eyes again and several managed to trickle down your cheek, “Thank you for saving me.” 

Frank smiled at you as he leaned over to raise his hand that wasn’t holding yours up, keeping his movements nice and slow so you could see exactly what he was doing. He gently brushed the few tears that trailed down your cheek away, smile widening as you leaned into the touch as he thought about how long it had been since somebody touched you without bad intentions. 

Frank swore in that moment he would never let anybody hurt you again and the people that had already done so were next on his list. He was going to make sure every single one of them paid the price for what they had done to you.

______

Frank Castle Taglist /

@call-me-a-fool , @sylvies4ever  @lucyysthings , @freeshavocadoooo , @writeroutoftime ,  @mrslizzyolsen ,  @avengersbabe13 , @bxmaaa , @lucyysthings , @currentobsessionrabbithole , @myguiltypleasures21 , @luluwinchester , @polyglot-noodle , @alexxavicry , @bubsonnobx , @eddiefrickenmunson , @valluvsu

Narcos Masterlist

Click here to add yourself to the taglist!

- Answer Honestly

- Easier With You

- Haunted by the Look in Your Eyes

- Anything For You

Your Jedi

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Angstember Prompt -  "I thought I might find you here."

When you and Anakin first met you were nothing more than the Senator’s daughter. You knew one day you would have to take your family’s seat in the Senate and dreaded when such a day would arrive. Anakin had heard you complain about it on several occasions, watching you rant as he smiled over at your pacing figure. It never took long for you to calm down once you saw his smile and often ended with you flopping down next to him, your head on his shoulder.

Anakin had been a good friend, brought to your side after several attempts on your life. At first you had resented the Jedi guarding you, insisting it wasn’t necessary but then you had met him, one easy smile was all it took to silence your complaints. 

From there the two of you became fast friends, Anakin taking your protection seriously but he wasn’t stifling like the other bodyguards were. With Anakin he was more than happy to sneak out of your house, more than happy to explore the planet with you so long as you stayed by his side. It wasn’t a shock when you found yourself catching feelings for the young Jedi, you saw him every day and he was always more than kind to you. He treated you like an actual person, somebody who could be joked around with rather than a political ally. 

Even though he treated you normally, he made you feel special. It was in the little things he did, whether it was remembering your order from the little Twi’lek run bakery or knowing when you needed to get away from the palace and getting you out as quickly and discreetly as possible, taking your hand in his and leading you down to the lake on the grounds, the two of you sitting there for hours talking about nothing and everything. 

You let yourself fall further and further in love with the young man even though you knew it would only break your heart. Jedi weren’t allowed to date, they couldn’t form attachments or love others as you wished Anakin could love you. It didn’t matter to you though, you didn’t need Anakin to love you, so long as you had him at your side you could be content with what you had. 

Of course sometimes Anakin was pulled away from you when he was needed for a bigger mission but he always came back and you were always waiting for him. 

There was one particular mission that changed everything for the both of you. 

Anakin hadn’t been able to tell you anything about this mission, not because he wasn’t allowed, which he definitely wasn’t but that never stopped him, but because Obi-Wan commed him in the middle of the night demanding he meet him on another planet and to be prepared for anything. 

You had woken up to Anakin bursting through your door, frantically throwing his robe on and attaching the hilt of his lightsaber to his hip as he explained to you he had to go and would be back soon. 

In his hurried state he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead that had you feeling heat in your cheeks before he left, smiling over his shoulder at you as you called a ‘may the Force be with you’ after him. 

From there, there had been nothing but silence from Anakin for a month and a half. Luckily though you were the daughter of a Senator and if you wanted information it usually wasn’t too hard to get. However, information surrounding the Jedi mission seemed to be on a need to know basis and none of your usual contacts could tell you anything. It didn’t matter though, you had gotten quite used to listening in on conversations, blending into your surroundings so people forgot you were there. 

Anakin and Obi-Wan had been sent on a mission undercover it seemed, from what little you were able to pick up on. Apparently it hadn’t gone well and the man they had been sent for had figured out who they were. 

You took that to mean the worst and after hearing somebody say the Council was worried that they had had no contact with either Jedi your stomach turned sick. It was the longest you had been away from Anakin where you weren’t also able to talk to him and your fear only got worse as the days went by. 

You became more closed off, more and more snappish with people who tried to get you to do your duties. More than once you’d stormed from rooms, uncaring about the scandalised looks, important figures shot you and the embarrassed ones coming from your parents. You barely slept, kept awake at night by terrible dreams of all the things that could be happening to Anakin. You wished more than ever that you had a connection to the Force, wished to have a solid connection in your mind to Anakin like he shared with Obi-Wan so he could tell you where he was, so you could save him like he had saved you more times than you could count. 

You hated feeling so useless, hated that Anakin was out there, trapped on some planet you didn’t even know the name of, with no idea what was happening to him. The only people who knew the full details seemed to be the Jedi Council and they weren’t exactly going to give you any information, no matter how important your parents were. 

More days passed and you were forced into a meeting room, forced to sit in on a Senate meeting between your parents and other Senators from four different planets, you hardly bothered to remember their names. You had no idea what was being discussed, paid no attention and didn’t bother to feign like you were. It didn’t go unnoticed but you missed the looks of disdain from the Senators and the disapproving looks from your parents.

“You will work alongside these people one day,” your father told you once the other Senators left, turning straight to you with a shake of his head. “You have to earn their respect and this attitude is not going to do that. It makes you look like a petulant child. I know you’re worried for your Jedi but that is no excuse for such behaviour.”

You rolled your eyes at his words but couldn’t stop the warm feeling in your chest. Anakin was your Jedi and you had no idea what you would do if he didn't come home to you.

Around the two month mark you were a mess. There wasn't a better word for how you were feeling. With every night that passed the nightmares that plagued you grew worse to the point where you were now on day four of having no sleep. You could barely bring yourself to eat, sick with worry for your Jedi and even the thought of food had your stomach churning. 

One night you woke up panting, sweat pooled on your head as you shot up and clutched the bedsheets. It took you longer than usual to calm down enough that you could breathe properly though your breath still came out shakily.

Unable to sit in your room, you forced yourself out of bed, needing a moment to fight against the shakiness you felt before you slipped into a pair of shoes and threw a robe over yourself. 

Making your way out of the palace was easy enough and without a real destination in mind you found yourself walking the grounds aimlessly, the cold air doing you a world of good. Without meaning to your feet carried you down to the river, body seemingly on autopilot as you were taken to the spot Anakin had found for the two of you long ago. 

It was far enough from the palace that it couldn’t be seen, a giant tree decorated with pink and purple flowers provided shelter from the sun and from anyone who might be nearby. 

It was a beautiful place, one that never failed to calm you. It did the job tonight even if being here sent an ache to your heart. Since discovering this place you had never come here without Anakin and it felt strange to do so now but it also brought you a sense of calm, like you could feel Anakin all around you. 

You wished for his safe return every minute of the day, prayed that the Council would find them and bring Anakin home. Your heart ached for him, your mind filled with words that you had never let yourself speak for fear of him leaving, now wishing he was here to hear every word of it. 

He might not have been able to return your feelings but at least he would know how you felt, he would be able to find peace and warmth in the knowledge that you loved him more than anything in the galaxy, that no matter what you would always be waiting for him. 

Your mind wandered far enough off that you became unaware of your surroundings, unaware of the sun beginning to rise and of the leaves crunching from not far behind you. 

“I thought I might find you here.” A familiar voice, one you had missed for weeks, for months said, causing you to whip your head around so fast it hurt. 

You didn’t say anything for a moment, frozen in place and only able to stare as if it were a ghost before you rather than the Jedi that had come to be yours. 

“Anakin?” You finally managed to force out, voice breaking as tears filled your eyes. 

You were on your feet in a matter of seconds, running straight at Anakin with no warning but it didn’t matter, the Jedi was ready to catch you, arms already open for you. The second you were in his arms, crashing into him so hard he had to take a few steps back just to keep the two of you up, Anakin wrapped you up tightly holding you close to his chest.

You held him back, hands fisting the robes he wore as you buried your face in his chest, tears flowing uncontrollably down your cheeks as you sobbed into him. One of Anakin’s hands shifted to tangle into your hair, holding your head close to him as his other rubbed circles into your back, tears filling his own eyes and some trickling down his cheeks.

“Anakin.” Was all you were able to sob out and Anakin softly shushed you, pressing his lips to the top of your head and letting them rest there, not pulling away from you.

“It’s alright sweetheart, I’m here, I’m back.” Anakin murmured into your hair and you grip tightened on his robes as another sob left you, Anakin continuing to whisper soft reassurances until your sobs finally turned into sniffles and gasps for breath.

“I was so scared.” You whispered into his chest and had you not literally been wrapped around each other he would have missed the words. “I was terrified of what had happened to you.” 

“Look at me,” He said, pulling back only far enough so that he could rest his forehead on yours, the hand in your hair moving to cup your cheek. “I’m ok. I’m so sorry, it was supposed to be an easy mission and then, well everything went as badly as it could but I’m ok, me and Obi-Wan got away and the Council got us out.

Your own hand came up to cup his cheek, your thumb running along his cheekbone as you listened to him speak. Two months he had been captured for, two months he had gone through things that would haunt him for a long time if that look in his eyes told you anything. 

Two months of not knowing, of being sick with worry, all vanished as you looked at him. He was a little skinnier than the last time you had seen him, cheekbones more prominent and he had dark circles under his eyes. There were a few cuts on his face, a bruise you could see fading on his wrist and he looked exhausted.

Even with the exhaustion on his face you could still see how relieved he was, relieved to finally be rescued, to be home, to be with you. For two months his thoughts stayed on you, through every beating and interrogation, through every hit and burn his thoughts stayed on you, on making sure he got out of this so he could see you again, so he could hold you in his arms and never let you go.

To finally be here, to finally have you in his arms, to have you this close to him, to feel your shaky breaths on his face made everything better. It made the pain he still felt more bearable. It was all he had thought about, there were times when he truly thought him and Obi-Wan were going to die, that by the time help came for them they would be long gone. Even when he felt his hope slipping his thoughts still went back to you, of how you would react to hearing the news. Nobody would think to tell you first, to give you warning. As far as the Council was concerned you were nothing more than a mission to him, an order to keep the Senator’s daughter safe because she was an easy target and had absolutely no concern for her own safety. 

And of course that was all you had started out as, a mission for him, a task to keep you alive. It was a mission that if the Council knew just what it had caused, knew the feelings it stirred within Anakin’s mind and heart, they would have regretted it. They spoke so much about how Jedi should not form attachments, how love would lead them to the Dark Side and then forced him onto a mission he hadn’t wanted where he had met the girl of his dreams.

Anakin loved you, more deeply than he had loved anything in his entire life. He could see why the Jedi could think it was a bad thing, all the love he felt for you was overwhelming at times. He knew he would do anything to keep you safe, anything you asked of him without a moment's hesitation. You held so much power over him, power you didn’t even know you held and yet Anakin wasn’t scared, he didn’t think he’d ever be tempted to the Dark Side because of the love he felt for you. If anything, the way you had him wrapped around your little finger and the love he felt was enough to keep him Light Side forever, he would never fall because he knew that wasn’t a path you could follow. You were the best person he knew and he would do anything to be the best person in your life.

Anakin couldn’t help himself, after two months of being tortured alongside Obi-Wan, forced to listen to his Master in pain, forced to spend two months away from you, Anakin was a weak man. He had kept himself back for years, told himself it was not the Jedi way to form attachments but who was Anakin kidding? He knew he felt more deeply than most of the Jedi and for years now he knew he was too attached to you to even begin breaking the string tying you together, the two of you so entwined it would be an impossible task.

Without warning, without hesitation Anakin leaned down. There was hardly any distance between the two of you anyway, foreheads pressed together as you breathed each other's air. He barely had to tilt his head before his lips were brushing against yours, it was a soft touching of lips and yet it created so much electricity between the two of you.

Anakin waited for a reaction before he deepened the kiss but he didn’t get a chance as you pulled him closer, seemingly waiting for his lips against yours for as long as he had been. Once you pulled him close, lips slotting against each other the energy shifted instantly. Gone was the soft, barely there touch of lips and in its place was desperation, longing, fear, relief, too many emotions to name crammed into one messy kiss. 

Anakin’s hands cupped your face, pulling you impossibly closer as your hands moved to his chest, gripping the fabric in your hands as you savoured everything about the kiss, the way his were slightly chapped against your own, the way his hands felt on your face and the way the sparks seemed to fly.

Anakin, unlike you, could feel the Force around the two of you, practically singing in happiness as you kissed each other until you were breathless and then some, only pulling away when the need for air truly became too much. The two of you stayed close though, bringing your foreheads back together and panting as you caught your breath.

“I should get captured more often.” Anakin murmured playfully, smiling down at you and laughing as you pulled away from him, just far enough so you could slap his chest before cuddling back into him.

Anakin smiled into your hair, settling your head under his chin as he held you close, more than content to enjoy this moment. 

“You ever do anything like that again-” You started but Anakin cut you off with a soft laugh and a kiss to your hair.

“Trust me, I don’t plan to ever be away from you for that long again. I don’t know what was worse the torture or not seeing your beautiful smile for two months. Stars, I nearly told them what they wanted to know just to see you again.” Anakin told you, grinning at you as you pulled your head back to look up at him, rolling your eyes at his words but not denying him of the smile that spread across your lips.

“I’m glad you’re home.” You told him softly and his grin faded into a smile as he kissed your forehead and held you to his chest.

The Jedi temple had never truly been his home, he used to think his small hut back on Tatooine was his true home but standing here with you, in your spot by the lake, sun rising and casting a soft orange glow across the planet, he knew in his heart this was his home.

Not the planet, not the beautifully rich palace behind him but the girl in his arms. You were his home, you would always be his home and you would forever have his heart. It was yours to hold, yours to cherish and yours to break. 

If it were anyone else before him he might have been terrified at the thought but because it was you it didn’t even cross his mind to be scared of what was to come. He trusted you with his life, with his heart, with everything. He knew you were the one for him, you were his love and he would do everything he could to keep you and the love between you safe.

Anakin Skywalker Taglist -

@captainamericasdaughter15, @daisyfreshwhore, @alexxavicry, @mukbee, @bubsonnobx, @starkillerrr, @heyitsaloy ,@midnightsmelodies, @f-sant, @fairydxll, @midnightlikeschezyt