James Potter Fanfiction - Tumblr Posts

In Another Life

Click here for my masterlist.

Prompts - anon - ‘I can’t help but wonder if I told you sooner, would I be where she is now?'

If somebody were to ask James Potter what Y/F/N Y/LN was to him he would have smiled, it would have been a smile that spread across his whole face, a smile that made his eyes light up and he would have told whoever had asked him that Y/F/N Y/L/N was one of his best friends, his family. He would gladly take any chance he could get to talk about you, the same way he did with Sirius, with Remus and Peter too. 

If somebody were to ask you what James Potter was to you it would have been an entirely different reaction, if the person was looking close enough. To some people they would see a smile that seemed sincere enough, would hear you say he was your best friend but other people, if they looked deeper would see a completely different reaction. Sure they would still see a smile but they would notice that it didn’t quite meet your eyes, that it seemed strained, almost shaky. Of course they would hear you say that James Potter was your best friend but they would also hear the sadness behind those words, the longing. Whereas James could talk about you for hours, you would move the conversation on as quickly as you could.

You and James had made fast friends after both being sorted into Gryffindor and after spending seven years together, practically joined at the hip, it wasn't a surprise when you found yourself having romantic feelings for him. It must have been around fourth or fifth year when you realised you fancied him, around the same time everyone else your age was starting to actually like the idea of having a relationship…around the same time James Potter realised he liked Lily Evans.

You watched as he pursued her, watched as childish pranks turned into mature and serious displays of affection that eventually won the girl over. You watched as every moment of their relationship played out before your very eyes. You were the one James turned to when it came to wanting an opinion on important dates, on gifts and you smiled, each time you forced a smile onto your face and shoved your feelings down and helped him whenever he asked.

The moment that broke your heart the most though was when James showed up at your door one afternoon, you remembered it clear as day. He had looked nervous, more nervous than you’d seen him in a long time, and you had immediately invited him in, the two of you taking a seat on the couch. 

“What’s wrong?” You had asked him, watching as he smoothed his palms against his thighs before taking a breath and moving one hand to pull something out of his pocket. 

You physically felt your heart shatter as he opened a black box and presented a ring. It was a beautiful ring and you hated it. 

“What do you think?” James had asked after a few moments of silence passed between you. 

You blinked back the tears, refusing to cry in front of him, and instead forced another smile and looked from the ring to him before nodding, telling him it was perfect. That seemed to be the thing to relax him and a grin spread across his face as he started talking about how he was going to ask her out and all you could do was smile.

With the threat of the war hanging over everyone in the wizarding world, James and Lily decided to marry quickly after the engagement. Nothing extravagant, family and friends gathered together to witness the couple's marriage and you found yourself in line surrounded by other guests, making your way into the venue.

“Bride or groom?” A wizard at the door asked you and all you could do was stare at him for a moment. 

Despite being in love with James Potter you did actually like Lily, she was your friend and it only made your feelings all the more worse. Such formalities seemed strange when you knew them both so well.

“Bride or groom, miss?” The wizard asked you again and you shook your head.

“Sorry, um, groom.” You said in a small voice, stomach in knots as it felt like you were about to step into some sort of nightmare, perhaps you were already in one. The wizard smiled, pointing you in the direction of the groom's side of the room.

You had always known there was no chance of a relationship between you and James, not when he looked at Lily like he did but there was a part of you, a part of you that you hated, that had hoped for…something.

James Potter would always be your almost, the one that was meant to be but never could.

With a deep and shaky breath you smiled at the wizard and forced your feet to move. Once you were in the room your eyes immediately locked onto James. He looked handsome, of course he did, standing at the front of the room, talking with Sirius with a nervous but excited look on his face.

You felt your forced smile soften into something real because despite everything you really were happy for him. He was so in love with a girl who loved him as deeply as he did, he had found happiness even with everything going on. As much as you wished he had found that with you, you were happy for him. 

Despite being happy for him though you really couldn’t wait for this day to end.

It wasn’t long before everyone was seated and the quiet murmurs of conversation stopped as music filled the room and the guests rose from their seats. You stood and turned to the back of the room, breath catching as you saw Lily in the doorway. 

She looked beautiful. 

The dress she wore was gorgeous, hugging her waist and flowing out around her feet, a train following behind her as she walked the length of the aisle, holding a bouquet of flowers and a bright smile on her face that almost looked painful.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you desperately tried to fight them back as you took a shaky breath. It was real before, it had been real from the moment James had shown you the ring but now, watching her, you couldn’t help but wonder how different things could have been. How if you had told James how you had felt all those years ago things might be different. If you had told him would that be you walking down the aisle with a real smile on your face as opposed to the fake one you had worn for years?

Lily Evans really did make a beautiful bride and stood next to James, the pair of them so obviously in love with each other, you couldn’t help but finally let a few tears fall, choking back a sob as they said their ‘I do’s’.

You’d managed to stay to yourself after the ceremony, the party taking place at the Potter’s, which had been decorated as beautifully as everything else surrounding the wedding. Thankfully, James was so busy mingling with guests you had gotten away with isolating yourself, standing to the side of the garden with a drink in your hand trying not to look at the happy couple.

You had tried for years to push your feelings down, to accept that nothing would come from them and that they would only damage your friendship with James. Logically you knew all of that but emotionally you just couldn’t let go. James was one of the few good things in your life, the few solid things that you could always count on and it hurt, it hurt watching them together no matter how irrational it was.

You’d lost track of how many times you’d fought back tears today, cursing yourself as your eyes started stinging against and scrunched them shut as tightly as you could, effectively shutting out the rest of the guests and missing the way James spotted you from the other side of the garden and excused himself from the conversation he was having to make his way over to you, a frown on his face as he stepped closer.

“Hey,” He said softly, knocking his shoulder against yours gently and not missing the way you jumped.

“Hey.” You replied just as quietly, hoping that there was no proof of the fact you were on the verge of tears.

“Why are you over here?” He asked, keeping his voice at the same level, if you were closer to the party you would have struggled to hear each other but this far away it was fine.

You stayed silent for a few moments, taking a breath and forcing another smile on your face before turning to face him.

“Needed a minute,” You finally said and watched as his concerned look seemed to deepen, “How’s married life?” You asked to distract him, pointedly ignoring the pain in your chest at both the topic and the laugh James gave.

“Merlin, if you’d have told me how much talking I’d have to do I might’ve reconsidered the whole thing.” You let yourself chuckle along with him, hoping that it sounded convincing.

“I’m happy for you.” You told him and watched as his chuckle faded into a soft smile. Unable to stop yourself, you leaned your head down so it was resting against his shoulder and James didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around you, letting his head rest on your head, placing a soft kiss to your hair.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my whole life, Y/N/N,” He told you and you could hear the sincerity in his tone, his voice almost a whisper as he spoke, “I just keep thinking, how did I get so lucky, you know? I found my soulmate and I got to marry her, how often does that happen?”

What a question, how often does somebody meet their soulmate and it actually works out for them? You could answer that, you could tell him that people rarely got that lucky and instead would spend the rest of their lives in love with somebody who they could never have, you could tell him that the ache in their chest should get easier to live with but it didn’t, it never would.

You pulled away from James, feeling a new set of tears well up, or maybe they were the same tears, either way you pulled away from him.

“You sure you’re alright?” James asked again, noticing the wetness in your eyes but you just nodded, lips thinning into a smile before you took a breath.

“Congratulations James.” You whispered and turned away from him, making your way across the garden and into the house, missing James’ frown.

You found yourself locked in the toilet, this time you were unable to stop the tears from falling down your face uncontrollably, your back pressed to the door and a hand over your mouth in a weak attempt to muffle any sobs that escaped. 

You knew you had to get back up, knew you had to go back out there and you knew, above all, you had to move on. You knew you could do the first two even if it would take everything in you to go back out but the third one, you knew it was impossible.

You would spend the rest of your life in love with a man you could never have.

Eventually you forced yourself up and splashed some water on your face, trying to get rid of any traces of tears before you left the room and headed back outside…just in time for the first dance.

Sirius spotted you and smiled softly, gesturing for you to join him as he stood with the guests to the side to watch the dance. Music filled the air and the couple started to move beautifully together just as you reached Sirius.

Sirius didn’t say anything, he didn’t take his eyes off of Lily and James but he did wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you into his chest. The two of you had never spoken about it but you knew he knew. 

You didn’t dwell on the thought though, didn’t care how pathetic you seemed to Sirius, you just kept watching the scene in front of you and couldn’t help but picture yourself in Lily’s place, an unfair thought but one that appeared anyway.

Maybe in some other world you were with James, maybe you were looking lovingly into his eyes whilst he held you close and whispered things that made you giggle. Maybe all these people were watching you and him move around elegantly to the music and maybe somebody else was standing to the side wishing they were you. 

Maybe you were by his side in another life.

But this was the life you had, a life where the man you loved had married another girl, a life where you hadn’t even gotten a chance with him, a life where your days were numbered due to the war and a life where you would never, ever be able to stop loving James Potter.

______

James Potter Taglist (link in bio to add yourself) - 

@haroldpotterson, @rottenstyx,  @asherhunterx, @secondaryjob, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair,  @mrs-scottmccall,   @j-cat,  @cinderellacauseshebroke,  @black-rose-29,    @chickensrule,  @rosaliedepp,  @divanca2006,  @silverose365,   @tc-blossom,  @transparentweaselpartyeagle,  @mystic-writings,  @touchdeprivedwh0re, @alexxavicry,  @sweetdreamsjg,  @alwaysclassyeagle, @carmellasworld, @labellapeaky,  @maeve-7,  @lazysheepperfection, @serrendiipty, @father-violet, @izzyyy-1, @morganaah, @kaitieskidmore1 , @loki-laufeysons-wife​, @srhxpci, @mrslizzyolsen​, @idli-dosa, @eichenhouseproperty, @ack3rlevi, @lovelyvante

Holding On & Letting Go

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Angstember Prompt - "I really hope you get her someday."

Even at eleven years old you knew James Potter was going to be an important person in your life. Of course back then you were only young, you didn’t know what lay ahead during your seven years at Hogwarts but you knew there was something about James Potter, something about the confident eleven year old who took one look at the scared muggle born girl on her own and immediately ushered her into his cart and walked next her to get sorted.

You remembered that day so clearly, almost like time hadn’t passed. You remembered James helping you adjust to magic, helping you with whatever you were confused with without hesitation. You remembered how James had dragged you outside, insisting that one of the best things about magic was flying, remembered how he had grinned as you refused to mount the broom only to compromise with you and before you knew it you were on a broom, James behind you as you went on your first flight.

You had years’ worth of fond, happy memories attached to James. For the first few years at Hogwarts there were no bad memories, sure the two of you had arguments but they were resolved before the day was over. You and James were attached at the hip, it was rare to be seen without the other, and so it didn’t surprise Remus when you told him at the beginning of fifth year that you had a crush on the boy.

You’d liked him for a while now, half way through third year you realised you liked him more than a friend but you hadn’t been too concerned with trying to figure out your feelings at thirteen. Now however you were fifteen, everyone around you was getting into relationships and you’d had years to think about what your feelings for James meant.

You also had a year of watching James’ crush on Lily Evans, watching as he made an idiot out of himself over and over again in an almost desperate attempt to capture her attention. Whilst Sirius laughed and encouraged it, you sat on the sidelines, a feeling in the pit of your stomach you couldn’t quite place but ignored as best you could. 

Fifth year came along and James hadn’t been as focused on Lily, instead he reigned himself in, offering up polite conversation to the girl but not much else. That was when you had confessed to Remus your feelings for James, knowing the boy would never share your conversation with him but still feeling like speaking the words aloud would cause something to shift. 

Remus had smiled at you, encouraged you to tell James how you felt, confident James felt the same for you. At first you had been adamantly against Remus’ advice, not wanting to mess up the dynamic you had with James but one night, long after everyone else had gone to bed and you and James had snuck out to lay out by the lake, looking up at the stars you had whispered your feelings to him.

The few seconds of silence that passed after your confession were torturously slow but then James had turned to you with a soft smile and asked you to go with him to Hogsmeade that weekend and you felt a weight you hadn’t known was there fall from your shoulders. 

From there it was easy dating James, the two of you already spent most of your time together anyway and five years of being friends made it feel like you knew everything about the other. There was no awkward getting to know each other phase, no uncomfortableness, it felt like nothing had changed except now you finally got to kiss him. 

It was easy to ignore at first. For the first few months of your relationship with James it was easy to get lost in him, so absorbed by the happiness you felt that you didn’t even realise it at first, not until the whispers around you got louder and the sympathetic looks multiplied. 

That’s when you noticed James’ straying eyes, the way he‘d leave your side and you’d spot him sitting with Lily or how even when she wasn’t involved in the conversation her name still somehow managed to get brought up.

You wanted to continue to ignore, to just remain oblivious and not have to deal with it and despite feeling like an idiot that’s exactly what you did. You refused to acknowledge any feelings James might have towards Lily, refused to listen as people told you it was only a matter of time before the two of them became a thing. If you went to bed with tears in your eyes some nights, having to share a room with the girl you were sharing James’ affection with then nobody had to know.

Just because his feelings for Lily had seemingly returned, or more accurately never left but had been buried for a while, didn’t mean he was any less involved with you. He was still there with you every day, still held your books, walked you to class, snuck the two of you out of the castle and asked you on dates. He still spent his nights with you tucked under his arm in front of the fire and smiled at you like he always had.

It almost made you wonder, one night alone in bed, if he was even aware of his own feelings for Lily, if he realised just how much he liked her. That’s when you paused, your breathing stopping for a second before you sucked in a sharp breath. What you and James had was comfortable, it was familiar, it reminded you of home when you were in his arms and you had to wonder if he felt the same. Surely he couldn’t, right? No matter how much you wanted to believe otherwise you had spent months ignoring the fact that when he walked into a room his gaze seemed to land on Lily before it did you.

The realisation had your heart breaking and you felt the tears sliding down your cheeks as you tried to muffle your cries. You had fallen for James, loved him as a best friend and as a boyfriend, though you’d yet to admit that one out loud, and you knew, no matter what happened between you and James, you knew he would never want to hurt you.

Somehow, even with the ache in your chest, you managed to fall asleep that night dreading your date to Hogsmeade the next morning.

The two of you sat opposite each other at a small table by the window, drinks in hand as you half-heartedly listened to James rambling on, your thoughts still very much still on the same train of thought as they had been last night.

“Hey,” James called softly, gaining your attention as he touched your hand, “you alright?” 

You were silent for a moment, completely unsure about how to answer that question. You knew your relationship with James was over at that point, if you were being honest it had been over for a long time but even now you were hesitant to admit it, hesitant to bring it to attention but you knew you needed to. 

At the end of the day James was still your best friend, even if that would sting for a while, and you had only ever what was best for him. If Lily Evans was what was best for him, or at least what he thought was best for him, then who were you to stand in the way?

Still it didn’t mean your heart wasn’t shattered.

Just as you opened your mouth to answer him you watched as his eyes flickered to the side, over to where the door was. Without needing to look you already knew who had just walked into The Three Broomsticks, you watched as James’ face lit up, a smile tugging unconsciously at his lips as his eyes followed her and still you turned your head slightly so you could see her, feeling your own eyes fill with tears.

Resignation was clear on your face even as your eyes fell closed to stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks. You took a breath before turning back to James whose gaze was on you again, concern written across his features.

“I really hope you get her someday.” You told him shakily, two tears trailing down your right cheek as you spoke.

Those weren’t exactly the words you thought you were going to use to start this conversation but ultimately they seemed right. Despite how much your heart ached, despite how much you wished it was you he wanted to be with, at the end of the day all you wanted was him happy.

You watched as the concern on James' face turned to confusion, his eyebrows knitting together as he tilted his head. 

“What?” He finally asked, his confusion just as clear in his tone as it was on his face.

“You like her, James.” You told him, watching as his eyes widened as they moved to look at Lily again before he turned back to you, shaking his head as he did. “It’s ok, I’ve known for a long time I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“I like you, Y/N/N.” He told you firmly, sounding like he truly believed those words and you didn’t doubt it.

“I know,” You told him, a smile making its way onto your face despite the fact that more and more tears seemed to fall from your eyes. ‘I know you do but I’m not her.” Your voice broke as you spoke, the words had you fighting back more tears.

“Y/N,” James tried again but you shook your head.

“Your whole face lights up when she so much as enters a room and when she talks to you, Merlin’s beard, I’ve never seen you smile brighter. I wish it was me, James, believe me I wish more than anything I was the one who could make you that happy but I’m not and I love you so much that I just want you to be happy…even if it’s not with me.” As you spoke you had to pause, needing to take a shaky breath as the tears continued to pour from your eyes.

James’ eyes widened at the love confession casually thrown into the speech, something you hadn’t even meant to let slip out but didn’t regret. They weren’t spoken to make him feel back but more so because you wanted him to know, know how much he meant to you and how much you really didn’t want there to be any hatred between the two of you.

You watched his eyes drift over towards Lily again before he looked to you, looking equally as heartbroken as you felt.

“I love you, you know that right?” He asked you, eyes pleading with you to know he was being honest and you couldn’t help but laugh softly despite the tears as you nodded.

“I know you do, baby,” you whispered, laugh fading into a shaky smile and you watched as James’ own eyes became watery, “just not like how you love her.” 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N/N.” He apologised, words shaky and broken as he reached out and took your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

“I know you are.” You said again, squeezing his hand back and watching as a tear fell down his cheek. “I meant it, you know.”

“Meant what?” He asked, the two of you keeping your voices low as you spoke.

“I really do hope you get her.” You told him and watched his eyes shut as he shook his head, opening them to look at you with wide, apologetic eyes. 

Before James had the chance to reply you brought his hand up to your lips and pressed a gentle, barely there kiss to the skin before letting it fall back to the table and giving it a final squeeze. With that you pulled away from him and stood up, watching as his face seemed to crumble even more as he watched you.

He opened his mouth as if to say something more but seemed to decide against it as it fell closed. Instead he forced a shaky smile onto his face as more tears made their way down his cheeks. You smiled back at him, feeling too many emotions to make sense of as you turned away from him and out of the inn, ignoring the looks people sent you, not even caring about what a state you’d look like now with tears still falling down your face.

As you began your walk back to the castle alone you knew, despite how much you were hurting right now, despite how much you wanted to curl up in your room and cry until everything felt better, you knew you had done the right thing, not only for James but for yourself. 

For months you’d let your relationship continue despite knowing about his feelings for Lily, all because you weren’t ready to let him go. You still weren’t ready to be without him in all honesty but you knew it wasn’t fair to yourself to stay with somebody who wasn’t as all in as you were.

You would always love James Potter, it seemed impossible that there was a universe out there that could exist without you loving him. Even if you had to do the hardest thing and let him go it didn’t mean you loved him any less, Merlin, it probably showed you loved him more, the fact you were willing to let him go, willing to put his own happiness above your own. You would always love James Potter, it was just one of the many facts of life, even if he didn’t love you back, even if it meant watching him with another girl, your love for him would never fade.

____

James Potter Taglist /

@haroldpotterson, @rottenstyx, @asherhunterx, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair,  @j-cat, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @chickensrule,@rosaliedepp, @ppgrayson, @onyourgoddamnleft,  @divanca2006, @silverose365, @tc-blossom, @mystic-writings, @touchdeprivedwh0re, @alexxavicry,  @alwaysclassyeagle, @carmellasworld, @labellapeaky, @maeve-7,  @serrendiipty, @father-violet,  @izzyyy-1,  @morganaah, @kaitieskidmore1, @mrslizzyolsen, @idli-dosa, @eichenhouseproperty, @lovelyvante, @siriusstwelveyears, @daisyfreshwhore, @polyglot-noodle, @bubsonnobx , @f-sant, @fairydxll

pretty nice | j.p.

tw: crying, fluff

james potter x reader

James' keys rattled softly in the doorway as he stepped into the house, his eyes already darting around the living room looking for you. It was your day off, and he had bought back your favorite noodles just because. Dropping his bag on the couch, he clutched the box of food in his hand and climbed up the stairs excitedly, a wide grin on his face. Lethargy seeped into his bones, but his heart swelled with excitement at the thought of being wrapped in your loving embrace.

James rushed toward your room, opening his mouth to call out your name, but the words died in his throat when he caught sight of you. You sat on your bad, knees up to your chest and arms wrapped around yourself, body wracking with sobs. He felt his heart sink when he noticed how you were trembling, how the tears dribbled down your chin.

He pushed the door slightly so as to not scare you but you flinched anyway, glancing up once to look at him before a louder sob escaped you and you glanced back down embarrassedly. He makes a wrangled sort of noise in his throat and rushes towards you, dropping the box of noodles onto the bed without a care. He really did try to go slow, but in his defence, he couldn't help giving you a hug when you looked up at him with that pretty tear-stained face.

James wraps you up into his arms and you gratefully reciprocate, burying your head in his chest and inhaling the scent of his deodorant. "Dove," he coos, rubbing circles onto your back and pressing small kisses to the top of your head. "What happened?"

"Sorry," you croak out between sobs, "I don't know why I'm crying. I just- I heard a sad song and it all came out." His eyebrows scrunch up anxiously and he sighs. "That's okay, lovie. You're okay. You can let it out," he whispers, half relieved and half worried at your explanation. That sets on a whole new wave of tears, and James makes a pitiful noise before he starts to kiss your hair and whispers sweet nothings into your ear. He squeezes you protectively in his embrace, and he smells like home. He is home.

Soon, your tears slow and you pull away slightly to wipe at your eyes. Sniffling, you look up to find him smiling softly at you, and you do your best to smile back. It mustn't have been a very convincing smile, because he frowns before he dips down to kiss the tear trails on your cheeks. You blush slightly, veering your face away. "Sorry about breaking down like that," you mumble.

"Nonsense, dove. Nothing to be sorry for. Do you feel better now?" James asks gently, rubbing his hands up and down your sides as he presses a quick kiss to your nose. You giggle as you feel the ticklish sensation, and that earns a real grin from him and he kisses your nose again. "Loads better," you smile, squeezing his waist tightly and nestling your head in the crook of his neck.

"I got you your favorite spicy noodles by the way," he says, gently swaying you in his embrace. "Really?" you mumble, sounding dangerously close to tears again as your heart swells with gratitude. "Thank you. I don't deserve you," you mumble, more to yourself than to him.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head again, before pulling away slightly to press one to your lips. A smile starts to curve your lips and you peck him again, adoration bubbling up within you. James starts to grin cheekily and nuzzles his nose into yours. "Don't say that again, lovie. You're wrong. You deserve all the nice things in the world, and I think I'm pretty nice, don't you?"

Hello. I don’t really know how to do this properly

Can you make something where the reader is like two/three years younger then the marauders and like grew up next to James so he’s like her older brother type thing? Completely fine if not but this has been stuck in my head

(zero romance pls if you do pls)

thank you so much for the request!! ♡ i tried to play around with the plot a little :)

always | j.p.

tw: fluff

james potter x reader (platonic)

Your hands instinctively come up to shield your face as confetti rains down in the Great Hall for the third time that evening.

A frown settles on your face as you slowly lower your arms, feeling the split second when your hand comes into contact with a drink on the refreshments table and knocks it to the ground. A frustrated groan escapes your lips.

You flick the remnants of the drink off your hand and sigh, moving away from the table to go lean on another wall. You shuffle your way through the various couples giggling and dancing and snogging, feeling your resentment grow by the second. Once you’ve safely reached the other side of the mob in the middle of the hall, your eyes rake over the place.

As usual, Hogwarts was shimmering with splendour for the annual ball. Fairy lights adorned the ceilings, and decorated tables were laden with every type of food you could think of. The long tables in the centre had been cleared to allow for dancing, while the Weird Sisters played popular tunes at the front of the hall.

You tried not to let it get to you, but as you awkwardly shuffle around to make way for couples trying to get past you, a dull ache makes its way into your heart.

Kingsley Shacklebolt had very sweetly asked you to the school dance a couple of days ago and you had agreed. The whole evening had been spent in preparation for tonight, doing makeup with the girls and putting on your lovely dress adorned with golden butterflies. But Kingsley fell terribly ill an hour before the dance, and couldn’t muster the strength to even get out of bed.

It was unfortunate, something you were so looking forward to going wrong like this. Especially since you really really liked Kingsley.

You sigh, loneliness and embarrassment starting to get the better of you as you resign yourself to staying as an onlooker. Couples fade in and out of your vision, twirling and prancing around. A huff of resentment escapes you as you try not to glare too hard at those having fun.

Just when you stand up straight, deciding that there was no point staying, you feel a hand on your shoulder and startle. Turning around, you come face-to-face with a grinning James Potter.

“Hey Pickle. You doing good?” he asks, his smile widening as he sees the frown on your face.

That was what James had called you since you first met on the Hogwarts express years ago, a timid first-year crashing straight into the most popular third-year in the school. You bumped into him while holding a jar of pickles (god knows why), and ended up hurling them all over him. He laughed it off while you apologised incessantly and cleaned him up. He thought you were adorable.

That day, James pestered you about yourself till you snapped, and the two of you were inseparable ever since.

“No, Potty. I’m not doing good. Kingsley’s sick,” you mutter, trying to veil the hurt in your voice with anger. He lets out a sympathetic coo and softens, his hand moving down to take yours.

You sigh, your anger dissipating to leave disappointment. “I’m gonna leave,” you murmur, turning around to get to the door. But his grip on your hand remains firm. You turn back around, brows furrowed in confusion.

He's smiling at you, tugging on your hand with that mischievous James Potter twinkle in his eyes. “Come on, Pickle.”

“What?”

“Come on. One dance?”

“Jame-“

“Pickle! You’re no fun. Pleaaaaase?”

You groan, mocking reluctance as you let yourself be led by him as he pulls you to the dance floor. “I can’t dance.”

“You don’t have to, I can do it well enough for the both of us,” James grins. He wraps his arm around your waist, takes your hand in his other one.

He pokes at your hand, gesturing for you to put it on his shoulder. You sigh and do as you’re told. He gives you a small smile and you soften, unable to help smiling back in return.

As the two of you position yourself, the loud manic pop music previously playing comes to an end. A gasp escapes you, your eyes lighting up as you hear the first notes of ‘O Children’ start to play. A childhood favourite, your mum’s go-to song to sing.

James chuckles, slowly starting to sway you along to the beat.

‘Lift up your voice, lift up your voice…’

You move along with him, closing your eyes and feeling the rhythm.

‘Children!...’

James’ footing is perfect, yours is haphazard. His movements are elegant, yours rusty. His dancing on beat, yours attempting to be. But the smile that graces both of your faces is the same.

‘Rejoice, rejoice…’

A giggle escapes you as he twirls you around, both of you bursting out into laughter as you trip on his shoe and your face lands smack on his chest. None of you pull away.

You stay like that for a while, your face buried in your shoulder as he holds you close. The two of you move from side to side in time with the music. You melt into his touch, feeling all your disappointment disappear as you tenderly dance to the soft tune.

“Thanks, James,” you murmur gratefully. He smiles down at you.

“Hey, none of that. You’re my Pickle - of course I had to pester you to dance, I always will,” he chuckles, ruffling your hair. You grin into his shoulder, playfully punching him in the stomach.

“And this song better be playing at your wedding. I need to show everyone, especially your future husband, just how much you suck at dancing.”

“James!”

He laughs, wincing as you pull away to smack him on the shoulder. He pushes you back, but catches you before you tumble to the floor. The two of you are clutching your stomachs and each other’s hands.

You and James dissolve into heaps of laughter and joy, just like you always do.

Hello. I don’t really know how to do this properly

Can you make something where the reader is like two/three years younger then the marauders and like grew up next to James so he’s like her older brother type thing? Completely fine if not but this has been stuck in my head

(zero romance pls if you do pls)

thank you so much for the request!! ♡ i tried to play around with the plot a little :)

always | j.p.

tw: fluff

james potter x reader (platonic)

Your hands instinctively come up to shield your face as confetti rains down in the Great Hall for the third time that evening.

A frown settles on your face as you slowly lower your arms, feeling the split second when your hand comes into contact with a drink on the refreshments table and knocks it to the ground. A frustrated groan escapes your lips.

You flick the remnants of the drink off your hand and sigh, moving away from the table to go lean on another wall. You shuffle your way through the various couples giggling and dancing and snogging, feeling your resentment grow by the second. Once you’ve safely reached the other side of the mob in the middle of the hall, your eyes rake over the place.

As usual, Hogwarts was shimmering with splendour for the annual ball. Fairy lights adorned the ceilings, and decorated tables were laden with every type of food you could think of. The long tables in the centre had been cleared to allow for dancing, while the Weird Sisters played popular tunes at the front of the hall.

You tried not to let it get to you, but as you awkwardly shuffle around to make way for couples trying to get past you, a dull ache makes its way into your heart.

Kingsley Shacklebolt had very sweetly asked you to the school dance a couple of days ago and you had agreed. The whole evening had been spent in preparation for tonight, doing makeup with the girls and putting on your lovely dress adorned with golden butterflies. But Kingsley fell terribly ill an hour before the dance, and couldn’t muster the strength to even get out of bed.

It was unfortunate, something you were so looking forward to going wrong like this. Especially since you really really liked Kingsley.

You sigh, loneliness and embarrassment starting to get the better of you as you resign yourself to staying as an onlooker. Couples fade in and out of your vision, twirling and prancing around. A huff of resentment escapes you as you try not to glare too hard at those having fun.

Just when you stand up straight, deciding that there was no point staying, you feel a hand on your shoulder and startle. Turning around, you come face-to-face with a grinning James Potter.

“Hey Pickle. You doing good?” he asks, his smile widening as he sees the frown on your face.

That was what James had called you since you first met on the Hogwarts express years ago, a timid first-year crashing straight into the most popular third-year in the school. You bumped into him while holding a jar of pickles (god knows why), and ended up hurling them all over him. He laughed it off while you apologised incessantly and cleaned him up. He thought you were adorable.

That day, James pestered you about yourself till you snapped, and the two of you were inseparable ever since.

“No, Potty. I’m not doing good. Kingsley’s sick,” you mutter, trying to veil the hurt in your voice with anger. He lets out a sympathetic coo and softens, his hand moving down to take yours.

You sigh, your anger dissipating to leave disappointment. “I’m gonna leave,” you murmur, turning around to get to the door. But his grip on your hand remains firm. You turn back around, brows furrowed in confusion.

He's smiling at you, tugging on your hand with that mischievous James Potter twinkle in his eyes. “Come on, Pickle.”

“What?”

“Come on. One dance?”

“Jame-“

“Pickle! You’re no fun. Pleaaaaase?”

You groan, mocking reluctance as you let yourself be led by him as he pulls you to the dance floor. “I can’t dance.”

“You don’t have to, I can do it well enough for the both of us,” James grins. He wraps his arm around your waist, takes your hand in his other one.

He pokes at your hand, gesturing for you to put it on his shoulder. You sigh and do as you’re told. He gives you a small smile and you soften, unable to help smiling back in return.

As the two of you position yourself, the loud manic pop music previously playing comes to an end. A gasp escapes you, your eyes lighting up as you hear the first notes of ‘O Children’ start to play. A childhood favourite, your mum’s go-to song to sing.

James chuckles, slowly starting to sway you along to the beat.

‘Lift up your voice, lift up your voice…’

You move along with him, closing your eyes and feeling the rhythm.

‘Children!...’

James’ footing is perfect, yours is haphazard. His movements are elegant, yours rusty. His dancing on beat, yours attempting to be. But the smile that graces both of your faces is the same.

‘Rejoice, rejoice…’

A giggle escapes you as he twirls you around, both of you bursting out into laughter as you trip on his shoe and your face lands smack on his chest. None of you pull away.

You stay like that for a while, your face buried in your shoulder as he holds you close. The two of you move from side to side in time with the music. You melt into his touch, feeling all your disappointment disappear as you tenderly dance to the soft tune.

“Thanks, James,” you murmur gratefully. He smiles down at you.

“Hey, none of that. You’re my Pickle - of course I had to pester you to dance, I always will,” he chuckles, ruffling your hair. You grin into his shoulder, playfully punching him in the stomach.

“And this song better be playing at your wedding. I need to show everyone, especially your future husband, just how much you suck at dancing.”

“James!”

He laughs, wincing as you pull away to smack him on the shoulder. He pushes you back, but catches you before you tumble to the floor. The two of you are clutching your stomachs and each other’s hands.

You and James dissolve into heaps of laughter and joy, just like you always do.

james potter masterlist — 𖤓

❤︎ — fluff | ☁︎ — angst | ✿ — san’s favs

pretty nice — james finds you crying ❤︎

always — you're lonely at the annual dance, and james wants to dance with you ❤︎ ✿

beautiful — james likes lily, right? ❤︎ ✿

in another life — james wanted kids, you didn’t. you see him and lily with harry years later ☁︎ ✿

kiss and make-up — james helps you do your make-up ❤︎

heyyyy do you think you could write a James blurb where reader hangs with Severus and Lily (she's a Snape but it's not really common knowledge as she's a few years younger) and everyone thinks James likes to come around for Lily but it's actually for the reader? I love your work btw!!!

yes, of course!! and thank you ♡

beautiful | j.p.

tw: fluff

snape!reader, james potter x reader

A frustrated sigh escapes Severus’ lips as you flick a petal at him for what seems like the umpteenth time that evening. You can feel the quivers in Lily’s body from where you’re laying on her lap as she laughs.

O.W.L.S. had just ended for your brother and best friend, so you dragged them down to your usual spot beneath the silver-leafed tree for a picnic. Lily was concentratedly twining vines together, crafting a daisy crown.

The light breeze caused her auburn hair to cover her face as she worked, the sun hitting her face in all the right places. She looked like some sort of heavenly wood nymph, you thought as you stared up at her. She was really really pretty.

Meanwhile, Severus was engrossed in some old, weathered-down potions book - furiously scribbling down notes for god-knows-what. Your legs were propped up on his lap as you threw the petals which occasionally fell from Lily’s flower crown at him. His expression was growing more cross by the second.

Your brother starts to grumble at you under his breath as a petal drifts straight into his nostril. A giggle bubbles out of you as he sneezes and the petal shoots out his nose, not missing the huff of annoyance he let out.

“If mother hadn’t instructed me to take care of you,” he mutters, a hint of irritation in his tone as he rubs his nose, “I would’ve tossed you into the black lake already.”

Lily grins, flicking your forehead as you bat your eyelashes at him playfully. “You love me.”

“Lies.”

“You bought me a whole bag of chocolate last weekend!”

“That was merely because-”

Your brother’s rambling comes to a halt, his eyes suddenly narrowing as he glares at something across the field of grass. His mouth twists up into a disgruntled frown.

You follow his line of vision to see none other than James Potter stumbling towards your clique, casting dirty looks at his friends behind him as they urge him towards you.

A sigh escapes you before you can even think about it. It annoyed you greatly, whenever James came crawling after you all like a desperate dog, just for the sake of Lily.

That was all it was, you tried to convince yourself. You told yourself that the acidic burning sensation of your heart in your chest was just because it was frustrating how obsessed he was, how his eyes lit up whenever they landed on Lily, how he stumbled over his words whenever he was near.

He was annoying, a stupidly beautiful wanker with an achingly gorgeous smile and eyes so bright they could rival the stars.

But you knew why you really hated him, and it frustrated you immensely. You despised him for liking Lily, hated his guts for not liking you instead. It was sickening, the way he gazed at her. And it was even more disgusting how envy took ahold of your entire being when that happened.

It gutted you, whenever you saw him looking at your best friend with heart-eyes. But it was obvious why - she was everything a guy could ever want, and she was a perfect girl for the golden boy. How could you even think about rivalling her?

What upset you the most, though, was how Lily always seemed to ignore him, looking away and rolling her eyes when his eyes met hers. You wanted to shake her, yell at her for being so ungrateful and wrack some sense into her brain. But all you did was stare quietly at the ground whenever James was near, zoning out so you didn’t have to hear the sickeningly mushy stuff which surely poured out his mouth in front of Lily.

So it was an understatement to say that your heart stopped when you heard your name coming out his mouth. You furrow your eyebrows, snapping back to the present as you press your palms down on the grass to lift your head from Lily’s lap. “What?”

James was looking at you anxiously now, with that glimmer in his eyes and a nervous smile. “Y/n, I um… I asked if you’d like to go to Hogsmeade with me? Tomorrow?”

You blink, the cogs still turning in your head. It was unfathomable, James Potter asking you out. Surely, it had to be a joke or a dare or something. Or maybe he meant to ask Lily, that was probably it. He had just asked the wrong person and was too nice to go back on his word, right?

“But you like Lily!” you blurt out immediately, a pang of hurt overwhelming you, for both you and your best friend. James’ eyebrows bunch up in puzzlement, his lips slowly twisting up into an almost comical smile. “Lily? You think I like Lily?”

You were sure you’d get whiplash from how fast you turned around to look at Lily, seeing her eyebrows bunched in confusion. “So, you don’t like me, Potter?”

He chuckles, a bit of the tension leaving his muscular frame as he shakes his head. “Redhead, you’re cool and all. But Y/n….” His gaze flicks over to you, and the affection in his eyes made you want to melt into a pool of hot mush.

Lily starts to smile, before it turns into a full-blown grin and she turns to you, nudging your elbow suggestively.

“Me?” you question slowly, suspiciously. You didn’t want to admit it, but your heart felt like it was going to burst even at the prospect of going out with him. “You like me?”

James immediately nods, turning slightly red at how long it was taking him to get an acceptance from you. But then again, he thinks he’d wait a lifetime for you to say yes, and he’d wait forever even if you said no.

Just then, you hear a loud cough on your left, and turn to see Severus glaring at you with a deadpan expression on his face.

You feel an arm bristle the hair on your head as Lily reaches over from your right, mussing up your brother’s hair. You laugh as he swats her away, tsking and cursing under his breath. “Shut up, Sev. Let my girl have her moment.”

Severus, to his credit, does shut up. Though he still has that bleary, stormy look on his face.

You turn back to James, slightly dizzy as the thought began to plant itself in your brain. The smile on his face was asking a million questions, holding a hundred insecurities. Yet you knew that there was only one right answer to them all.

“Yes,” you say softly, your lips beginning to curve upwards. Your heart was beating so loud, you were sure he could hear it.

“Yeah?” he asks, starting to grin. He lets out an exhale and scratches the back of his head, smiling at the floor before looking back at you. “Alright, then. I’ll pick you up outside the Great Hall, 5pm.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” He beams at you, and it’s the most beautiful you’ve ever seen a person look before. “Bye, Y/n. And redhead, and Snivellus.”

James winks at you before turning around, causing your heart to jump and lodge itself in your throat. He jogs back to his group of friends waiting with wide eyes and bated breath.

A moment later, you can hear the cheers and whoops from across the field.

You turn back to Severus, afraid of what you’d find. He’s gazing at you with a terse expression on his face as you gulp anxiously.

“I’m sorry. If you’re not okay with it…”

“No. You are not going to bail out on him,” he says, the firmness in his voice catching you by surprise. “I know how long you’ve been waiting for this. And this is something you need to learn to do, getting your hands on the things you want. You’re a Snape, you always get what you want, you hear me?”

You nod helplessly.

“And if what you want is Potter,” he sneers, “Then Potter it is. Just don’t expect me to play nice.”

A small smile graces your lips. “Thank you.” You know he’d understand what you meant, all the things you were thanking him for.

You can see him start to soften, though perhaps that frown would be etched on his face permanently. He sighs, “Yes, yes. You’re welcome.”

Lily squeals and forcefully turns you towards her, gripping your hands. “This is awesome.”

“You’re just glad he doesn’t like you.”

“Am not!” she exclaims, but the mirth in her eyes betrays her.

You sigh, smiling bemusedly as you lie back down on her lap, watching her continue to craft the flower crowns. Maybe you’d give James one tomorrow, though you doubt he could look more beautiful than he already did.

Hi, i wanted to request a james potter x reader thingy :))

So the idea is that james and reader broke up during hogwarts/directly after because they had the children talk, james really wants to be a father but reader is terrified of pregnancy so they break up. But over the years the reader keeps yearning for james and eventually they meet again when james and lily are together and have baby harry and its just really angsty 😭😭

Hope all of this makes sense i thought of this while listening to a song lyric

thank you for the request babe i love how your brain works <3 this is quite angsty so hopefully you like it! and now i’m curious to know what song 👀

also here’s some shameless promotion for @astonishment’s series with the same name, it’s deliciously tragic (☹️☹️☹️) and everyone should check it out!!

in another life | j.p.

“Calm down, babe,” Sirius mutters as you walk in step, looping his arm through yours.

You nibble on your bottom lip anxiously, sighing as you glance over at him. “It’s not that easy, Siri. I’m seeing him after what — four years? I can’t just calm down!”

He rolls his eyes, reaching towards you and thumbing at your lip to save it from your torment. “You’re seeing me after four years.”

You turn to Sirius, and he huffs out a laugh at your deadpan expression. “Well, you never asked me to marry you.”

Sirius wiggles his eyebrows, his lips curving up into a grin. “Marry me?”

“Fuck off, Black.”

James and Lily Potter were holding a meet-up of sorts, and had invited most people in your year at Hogwarts. You were hesitant to go, given your history with James, but Sirius insisted you tag along. You knew he, Remus, and Peter had stayed in touch with James. Rightfully, you ought to have too. But neither of you tried to; maybe you both knew it was better that way.

Sirius simpers, coming to a halt in front of the large black gates of the mansion. He reaches forward and begins to twist the lock, and you instinctively reach over and grab his hand to stop him. He turns to you, confusion twisting his features. “What are you — oh. Oh, sweetheart.”

He softens when he sees the expression on your face. You’re biting your cuticles, and the anxiety in your features is palpable. Sirius sighs and firmly pulls your hand away from your mouth, intertwining your fingers together. “It’s gonna be okay. Just be cordial with him. There’s no bad blood, right?”

“Right,” you mutter, albeit uncertainly.

“But, um…” he sighs, dropping your hand to rake his fingers through his hair. “There’s something I should’ve told you before. But I didn’t wanna freak you out.”

“What?”

The apprehension in your tone causes Sirius to wince. “James and Lily, they… they’ve got a baby.”

There’s a beat of loud silence as the fact sinks in, a mount of uncertainty and hurt settling in the pit of your stomach.

“Oh.”

You’re trying not to show it, but the heartbreak on your face is painfully obvious. Sirius pouts, moving to take your hand again. “Babe, I’m sorry. I should’ve –”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, the gates swinging open to reveal a beaming James Potter.

“Pads,” he grins immediately, eyes locking on Sirius as he moves towards him and swoops him into a quick hug.

You take the moment to look James over. He looked exactly like you remembered — messy curls, toned biceps, that movie-star grin. Yet something felt different, in the way he pulled Sirius into a hug without all the raucous fervour he would’ve at 16, how he held him so gently at arm’s length while talking to him. He’d softened, you realised, from the responsibilities of fatherhood and being a husband.

They pull apart a moment later, and his gaze drifts to you. His smile loses a bit of its sunshine, not softening but not quite dimming either. “Y/n, hey.”

There’s a moment of hesitation as he looks at you, but then he seems to decide upon giving you a hug too.

“Hi,” you mutter as he shortens the distance between you, needling his arms under yours to press them to your back. You embrace him in return, and a sudden pang of hurt shoots through your heart at the familiarity of the action.

Perhaps he was remembering it too, from the way he tightened his grip. Both of you were heavy on physical touch, and it was undeniably the best part of your relationship back in Hogwarts — how he’d always have a hand wrapped around your waist, how you’d wake up to cuddles and hugs every morning. You didn’t exactly have anyone to hug anymore, living alone.

So you convince yourself that the reason you hold on to James for slightly longer than necessary was because you craved human touch, not because of… anything else.

Finally, James pulls away, his arms dropping to his sides as he gives you a small smile. You plaster one onto your face too, for his sake. “So,” he starts as he turns around, beginning to lead you and Sirius into the mansion, “how’ve you been, Y/n?”

You can feel Sirius’ gaze burning holes into the side of your head, but choose to ignore him. “I’ve been great, yeah. You?”

James nods. “That’s cool. Yeah, I’ve been good too. Things have been fun, but kind of busy; you know, with work and Lily and the baby…” He seems to realise what he’s said, and clears his throat awkwardly. Oh, of course. The baby.

Sirius is beside you in an instant, arching his eyebrows and nudging your elbow to respond.

“Oh, um… congrats on the baby, by the way.”

James turns around to face you as you walk, and you give him a grin to prove that you’re being genuine — to show him that it didn’t feel like there was a knife being twisted in your gut every time the word baby was brought up.

His eyes soften, and you know he can tell how you’re feeling. But he gives you a grateful smile, and says no more as the three of you come to a stop in front of the house.

“By the way,” James mutters as he pushes the door open, “you guys are like, an hour early. You’re the only ones here.”

You immediately turn around to glower at Sirius for subjecting you to more torture than necessary by bringing you early. But he all but smirks as he follows you in.

Your eyes coast around the mansion, taking it all in. It’s decorated in a minimalist aesthetic, white couches and brown rugs. It was pretty, that was for sure; but you couldn’t help but think how different it was from James’ place in the dorm — posters and stickers all over the walls, boisterously red curtains and LED lights. It used to be so full of life.

Honestly, you might’ve guessed an old couple lived here, if not for the small signs of their life as a family — the pacifier on the dining table, a cradle at the far end of the living room, and the heart-shaped photo frames lining the walls.

James watches you, a small smile playing on the edges of his lips. “You like it?”

He knows you wouldn’t like it, it’s everything you aren’t. Your dorm had been just like his; trying to fit as many vinyls and posters onto that small space next to your bed as possible. There would be fairy lights in every corner and succulents on the nightstand, a dreamcatcher which he’d gifted you hanging right above your bed. You were messy, as a person, and with your love too. You thought he was messy as well; but apparently he’d gotten his shit together already.

“Yeah, it’s simple. Pretty.”

“Honey —“ Lily bustles out the kitchen, a small gasp escaping her lips as she sees you and Sirius. She’s holding a ladle in one hand, and has her other arm wrapped around a baby perched on her waist.

You don’t register it when she kisses your cheek and hugs you, asks you how you’re doing and leads you to sit on the couch. Your gaze is locked on the baby, every second spent staring at him worsening the nauseous feeling at the back of your throat.

You must’ve asked for his name, because the word, “Harry,” registers in your head. This beautiful baby, with Lily’s deep green eyes and James’ luscious curls, was Harry.

Would you have named your baby Harry? Probably not, it was too generic. But it was too late now, to pick out names and choose a less boring aesthetic for a house together.

You had lost your chance back in seventh year, that night when you were laying on James’ bed, limbs tangled together as he raked his hands through your hair with all the love in the world. You’re gonna be my husband one day, you’d whispered, feeling so much affection for him you thought your heart would burst. Yeah, baby, he’d replied with a soft smile. We’re gonna live in a mansion, with our dogs and children and —

Children?

I don’t… I don’t want children. And that’s where it all started going downhill, that’s the moment James’ smile turned upside down and his hand dropped from your hair. It had turned into an argument, a screaming match — and eventually a reason to break up. James couldn't understand much you feared it, the pain of pregnancy and the exhaustion that came with motherhood. And some part of you knew that you weren’t blameless either — calling him awful things and accusing him of not loving you; though love was all he ever gave till the day you told him it was over.

The feeling of Sirius’ nails digging into your palm brings you back to the present, and you see him nodding absentmindedly as Lily rambles about how much trouble Harry’s been, and oh, she’s picked up a hobby of crocheting, and…

You flit your eyes to look at James sitting opposite you, gazing at you with his brows pinched in concern. Your emotions must’ve been obvious on your face, then. But he immediately looks away when Lily calls out to him, holding up Harry for him to carry.

You watch silently as James squeezes into the chair next to his wife, taking the small, lovely baby between his large, calloused hands. He smiles at Harry, looking at him though he was the most precious thing on earth. James’ fingers bunch Harry’s tiny shirt as he brings him close to his face, gently pressing a kiss to his forehead. Lily’s head lolls onto James’ shoulder as he shifts Harry into a comfortable lying position in his arms.

There you have it. The perfect family, with the gorgeous wife and the adorable baby and the man who could’ve been yours if you wanted.

It’s too much for you to take, and Sirius squeezes your hand as you start to shake. Harry coos, and you melt at how James’ face breaks into a sunny beam. He tilts his head to press a soft peck to his wife’s hair, and there’s so much love in that simple gesture that you feel like you could die.

You feel Sirius’ worried gaze on you, your hands trembling and your knee bobbing up and down. The taste of blood from how hard you’re nibbling on your lip is grounding; it brings you back to yourself, who you are, and not who you could’ve been.

“Hey,” he murmurs softly from beside you, but it doesn’t get lodged into your brain. The only thing you feel is your vision of the perfect family blurring, soft streams of regret rolling down your cheek. Sirius makes a small noise of pity from beside you, and James looks up instantly, eyes widening as they lock on you. Lily is fast asleep, baby Harry staring at you with his thumb stuck into his mouth.

“Y/n, you okay?” James asks gently, but you don’t reply, still looking at him with that distraught look on your face. You open your mouth, but you don’t seem to have the vocabulary to express the heartache you felt right that moment. It felt strangely like grief; like you were mourning for the version of yourself you never got to meet, for the version of James who didn’t have the chance to be yours.

James' mouth twists downwards in a frown as he stands up and steps closer towards you. It’s like an alarm is set off in your head, and you immediately jolt back to the present, sucking in a deep breath.

Your legs act of their own accord as you stand up, Sirius’s hand falling limp on the couch as he looks up at you in surprise. You gulp down the lump in your throat and fiercely brush the tears away, James coming to a halt in front of you. “Y/n, baby —“

“I’m not your baby.”

James slaps a hand to his mouth, eyes as wide as Harry’s now. “Fuck, no, it — it just came out. I didn’t mean to. Shit, you’re crying.”

“I’m okay,” you warble. James opens his mouth to retort but you don’t let him, knowing that the longer you spent here, the more the gaping hole in your chest would grow. You couldn’t bear it anymore, watching James with his wife and wishing it was you instead. The worst part was that it was all your fault, your stupidity and your rejection.

“I’m fine, really. I…I’m gonna go now, it was nice meeting you. Convey my love to Remus, Peter and the girls.” You pick up your bag, moving to the front door with a befuddled James tracking your movements.

“Y/n —“

“Bye, James,” you call out halfheartedly as you slip into your shoes. He comes to stand at the door, rocking Harry from side to side. He looks almost disappointed as you make to leave.

“I’m sorry.”

You look up, surprised. “It’s not your fault.”

James’ lips pursed together with guilt, seeming like he wants to say something as he opens and closes his mouth. He finally sighs, “It’s not your fault either.

It was startling, how he still knew just the right thing to say — he always had. The regret that had been clogging up your heart for years was drained out upon hearing that one sentence. James didn’t hold the utter failure of your relationship against you, and that was enough. If you couldn’t have his love, at least you had his forgiveness.

You give him a half smile and nod, turning around to leave. You’d go back to yours, more of a house than a home. But at least no one but yourself could hurt you there, there was no one to turn away and no hearts to break. No one to love.

“Hey.”

You spin back around to face the door, heart stopping upon seeing the moistness in his eyes. You hear the scratchiness in his throat as he sucks in a deep breath.

“James…”

“No, don’t — don’t say anything. I just wanted to tell you, um…” he defeatedly runs a hand through his hair and exhales shakily. “I hope we worked out, you know, in another life.”

That catches you off guard, your heart involuntarily squeezing in your chest. James looks almost embarrassed as he says it, but you see the vulnerability in his eyes. He was right — maybe there was some planet on which you were less of a coward, another world where he could put a ring on your finger. He’d been yours to lose in this life, perhaps he was yours to love in another.

You clear your throat, feeling nausea brimming in the pits of your gut. “Yeah, I… I hope so too.”

You spare yourself one last glance at him before turning towards the exit, praying he didn’t see the tears dribbling down your cheeks.

You squeeze your eyes shut and will yourself to trudge forward, before he can call out to you and break your heart all over again.

In a few long strides, you’re out the gates; out of James’ life again.

halle this is soooo good i eat up your writing every single time!! 🫶 sirius being mean made me so sad haha but i love that reader got hurt (oops but it’s the best form of hurt/comfort)! also i’m in love with your remus ugh he’s so sweet and perceptive. you did it again babe i love this series🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐓: Chapter Three.

After breaking your ankle in the wake of a break up, you're determined to get through your senior year without any interference from James Potter. That is, until his loyalty to loose cannon Sirius Black lands him straight in your lap. Or, rather, your kiddie-skate group.

CW: language, abandonment, falling, mentions of broken bone and reconstructive metal work, cheating.

ITN Masterlist

You –

The ice is smooth, freshly pressed by the Zamboni. You should be nervous. Usually, you’d be nervous. But you’re tired. Exhausted, actually. If Pince knew how much you want to turn boot and skate off the other side of the ice, she’d probably have an aneurism. This is it: your chance to become a National Champion. The gateway to worlds, to the Olympics. And all you can think about is the gaping hole in your chest, the knot your stomach has wound its way into. The sound of James’ truck door slamming an echo in the back of your head.

The crowd is silent, and your programme music starts. Four minutes. You only need to make it four minutes. Four minutes until you can walk away and spend the summer wallowing. Four minutes that hang over you like a heavy weight.

You know this routine like the back of your hand. You’ve practiced it so much you could do it in your sleep. Spins, jumps, twists. Every one of them brings a different memory. James picking you up off of your ass, frustrated and angry, sending you back to try again with encouraging words and an even more encouraging kiss. He’d cheer when you landed and buy you chocolate cake on the way home.

The music is loud and overwhelming. It grates on your skin. Images of James, of your happiest moments, of everything you lost – they spin and jump along with you. Heavy as the rain that soaked you on the twenty-minute walk back to your apartment that night. It hurts too much, burns too hot.

Pince likes to say that careers can end in a split second. You know well that they can. All it takes is a bad jump, a distraction. You’ve seen it happen. Countless young athletes losing their careers over one bad move. One fracture, one broken bone, one chip on the ice. One second and it’s all gone.

One second and you’re on the ice.

One second and the resounding crack of bone slices through the crowd.

One second and the lights have gone up.

One second and your entire life leading up to this moment flashes before your eyes.

One second and the world stops.

One second before the shattered sob leaves your throat and it all goes black.

Your ankle clicks and crunches when you roll it. It’s uncomfortable, but not sore – and as much as you hate to admit it, Pomfrey is right; that’s progress. Your toe touches the ground, your calf burns, your ankle hits a breaking point. With a wince, you straighten it, repeat the motion. The stretch room off the back of the rink is empty this early in the morning. The hockey team doesn’t come in for practice for another two hours, the ice is fresh, and as soon as the feeling comes back to the ball of your ankle, you’re going to make use of the free time.

With a breath, you pull your leg up, run the edge of your nail along the skin of your scar. There’s no feeling against the skin, there. It comes and goes, the numbness. Your doctor’s say it’s a side effect of the surgery, the damage to the nerve endings, the pins, the screws. Your finger trails a pattern up your leg, back down, over the ragged ridges of the marred skin. It’s starting to feel normal, the ways you need to live your life. Stretches every day, physical rehabilitation, being barely able to wear heels, mobility, and flexibility issues. Lily likes to joke that you’re a walking-talking-live version of the Met Office. The change in weather is, admittedly, easier to assume with the metal work in your ankle.

It’s been hard – rehabilitating. It’s been sore and scary, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. Remus talks, often, about the limitations that his condition puts on his career. It’s nice, in a twisted sort of way, to have someone who knows your pain. In comparison, your pain is a nick on Remus’ radar. His pain is chronic, his bones brittle and damaged. His career will be short lived – but, you know without a doubt that his time in the NHL will be legendary, regardless.

The feeling comes back slowly, to the slow rhythm of your finger tracing up and down. You stand, after a while, and reach for your skate bag. You don’t bother with shoes, socked feet padding against the rubber flooring all the way down to the team box. To your surprise, the ice is populated when you get to the plastic door into the benched area. Sirius and Remus are skating laps around the ice, passing a puck back and forth. They don’t have their kit on, just joggers and their team sweatshirts. James is in the same attire, socked feet kicked up on the bottle shelf beneath the boards. His hands are stuffed in his pockets, hood over his hair. Stray, dark strands of chocolate brown curling out the sides. He looks tired. Exhausted, even.

His eyes follow Remus and Sirius around the rink, ever the dutiful, attentive captain. You know there’s millions of play ideas running through his head, critiques on players that aren’t even in James’ eyesight. It’s astounding, though you hate to admit it, how good of a leader James is.

“You’re all here early.” You say, setting your skate bag beside James on the metal bench.

Your ex startles, eyes wide behind his glasses when he looks over. It’s odd, to think over the Summer he’s somehow forgotten to remember your schedule. He used to know it off by heart. You skate every Saturday morning before the hockey team starts their practice. Realisation crosses his features, like the ghost of a past life passing through his eyes. “Shit, I’ll pull them off. Sorry.” James apologises, pulling his feet from the shelf and sitting forward like he’s getting ready to call Sirius and Remus in.

“No, it’s fine. I’m cool as long as they are.” You take a seat, unzipping your skate bag.

James nods, swallows. The silence is thick, almost suffocating. There’s no flirty conversation, no teasing, no kind words of encouragement. Things have changed. As much as James promised they wouldn’t – they have. It has a lot to do with how things ended, you suppose. As long as you were together, you’d always thought it’d be your careers, the distance, that split you up. Your ex-boyfriend places his feet on the rubber mats below the bench, bounces his legs. “They’ll stay out of your way, just watch out for stray pucks.”

“Got it. You okay?” You ask as you sit down to tie your skates. “You look exhausted.”

James’ hazel eyes follow Sirius and Remus around the rink. You don’t think they’ve noticed your presence, yet. Content in their own world. “Yeah. All good.”

It’s a lie. You both know it. But you’re not the person James is going to talk to about that, anymore. You don’t have a response for him, so you take your skate guards off and leave him to stew in the box. The air is cold against your face, a pleasant feeling. Sirius and Remus have scratched the ice a little with their skates and sticks, but it’ll be fine. They hear your blades scratching the closer you get, turn to you as you approach.

“Hey, I just want to run my routine a couple times before tomorrow. I’ll try stay out of your way.” You tell them.

Sirius’ eyes flick to James almost protectively, like he’s checking his captain, his best friend, is aware of your presence. Since you and James broke up, you haven’t heard much from Sirius. It’s not that he’s picking sides – though, you wouldn’t blame him for picking James. What they have is unique. They’re bonded. But it hurts a little. Stings, because there was a time where Sirius was one of your best friends. You’d all been close. It feels now, like Lily and Remus are the only ones who make an effort.

“You have practice tonight, your ankle going to be okay?” Remus asks, pushing the puck back and forth absentmindedly.

“How’s your knee?” You deflect.

Remus bites back a grin and scoffs good naturedly, but Sirius’ eyes fly down to Remus’ knee as though he’ll be able to see through layers of clothes and skin, right down to the muscle. He looks almost panicked. Then, he looks back up, icy blues lit with a fire you’ve never been on the receiving end of. “He’s fine.”

“Relax, Sirius. I know he is.” Your eyes burn, a little, “I’ll try stay out of your way.”

Remus mutters something to Sirius – likely chastising him. You’re on the other side of the rink, pretending not to care, so you don’t hear it.

They stay out of your way for the majority of your ice time. Only one stray puck gets in your way, and James calls out in a panic when you almost land on it. Instead, you miss a jump and shout a shaky thanks as you clamber back to your feet on the ice. He stays firmly in the box – making you wonder why he even bothered to come to the ice this morning, at all. Not that it’s any of your business. Remus and Sirius run drills on one half of the ice whilst you weave in and around them. It’s not until you’re on your last run through that your foot goes numb. It’s quick, instant. You land on your ankle, there’s no feeling there, your leg buckles.

You hit the ice with a nasty amount of noise. Skates scraping and clashing, a whoosh of pained air. Your hip hurts, a searing pain that you already know will need to be iced. It takes a minute to gather your surroundings, turning until you’re sitting up. “Jesus,” You mutter, angry. It feels like this will never end – the numbness, the frustration, falling. It’s been months of your ankle going numb mid practice. Months of falling on your ass. “Fuck!”

Remus is at your side in an instant, Sirius close behind him. “Okay, up. Up, C’mon.”

You know you can’t get up, but you refuse to admit why. No one knows. Not even Pomfrey, not even Pince. You can’t run the risk of needing a surgery to fix the nerve endings. Can’t risk having to sit this season out. “Remus, give me a minute.”

“No, the longer you sit there, the less likely you’re going to go again. Up. Now.” Your best friend holds his hand out.

He’s just trying to help. But there’s anger simmering in your chest. Hot and raw and you want to lash out. For the first time, you think you understand why Remus is the way he is. So, you look at him, really, truly look at him and you think he understands. James crouches in front of you, eyes brimming with concern. You hate how much relief the sight of him brings you. Remus turns and drags Sirius off. They go back to their own corner of the ice. Your eyes well with tears.

“What’s goin’ on?” James asks.

His hands rest on the skate covering your bad ankle. You can’t feel them. The thought panics you because what if? What if one day, the feeling never comes back and it’s too late? James notices the fear in your eyes, his finger reaches up to press into your calf and you flinch. A look of understanding passes across his features, brows scrunching and dipping in the middle. “No one knows?”

“No one can know.”

James looks like he disagrees, but he nods. “I’ll bare your weight to get you up. Feet flat or Remus will notice, but weight bare on your good ankle.”

He doesn’t have to do this. He shouldn’t care. It’s not his role, anymore. But you nod, regardless. Even if the idea of him helping you lights a furious rage inside of you because how dare he act like he gives a shit now? You need to get off the ice, though. So you give him both of your hands, left blade flat on the ice as he pulls you up. Your hip screams at you, but you ignore it in favour of James’ socked feet. He’s run out onto the ice without shoes on.

“You’re going to get frost-bite.” You murmur, eyes flicking up to find his already on you.

He looks sad. Nostalgic, maybe. “Worth it.”

Your heart cracks open in your chest as you let James lead you off of the ice, all the while praying he doesn’t go full James and snitch on you to Pince, thinking he’s doing you some sort of favour. You have it under control. You’re dealing with it.

Maybe just not as well as you’d originally thought.

Regulus –

Barty is lying, rather annoyingly, half on Regulus’ legs and half on the bed. But he won’t ask Barty to move. As much as a distraction he’s made himself, Regulus finds he quite enjoys the idea that Barty wants to be this close to him. The sketch book on his lap stares up at him tauntingly. There’s half-finished scribbles of planets and stars; none of which Regulus has the energy to perfect. He does, however, have a strong notion to draw the way Barty’s body is curling around his legs. Regulus isn’t sure how to feel about that, so he ignores it; because if he thinks too much about it, he’ll start to push Barty away.

He’s aware that this isn’t going to last. Just like he’s aware that after his thesis paper is published, he’ll be returning to Grimmauld Place. Taking over Black Industries is probably at the bottom of the list of things Regulus wants to do with his life. But the thing about Barty Crouch is that he’s persuasive. He’s irresistible, as Regulus has come to realise. It’s more than just his regal looking cheek bones and sinful smile, his toned body, and tattoos that make Regulus more inspired to draw than he ever has; if only to one day see one of his drawings on Barty’s pale skin – it’s also his carefree attitude, his rebellious nature, and the big, bold, ‘fuck you’ middle finger he holds up to the world that makes Regulus want to get wrapped up in him and never get free.

He wishes he could keep Barty, but he can’t. So, he won’t draw him. For now, he’ll enjoy his rebellious streak brought about by the sarcastic, smart mouth, piece of shit guy he met in the art supply store in the spring and worry about the calendar counting down his return to Grimmauld place later.

Admitting defeat, Regulus places his sketchbook and pencil on his bedside table. Barty stirs at the movement, head straining to look at Regulus with a devious grin. He threads his fingers through the soft strands of Barty’s inky black hair and smiles softly. It’s obvious his smile isn’t believable, because Barty huffs, pushes himself up until he’s straddling Regulus’ hips. He’s not in the mood for whatever Barty is about to initiate, but Barty seems to notice that because his eyes soften. “What’s on your mind?”

Regulus studies Barty. He really is very beautiful. He’d be easy to draw. The itch is there. But he can’t. So, he won’t. “I was thinking that I can’t focus when you’re lounging over me like a stray cat.” It’s obvious in his voice that it’s a lie. But the good thing about Barty is that he doesn’t push Regulus to talk when he clearly doesn’t want to.

“We both know that you’re the cat, in this relationship, Regulus. You’re all claws and uptight attitude.” The boy on top of Regulus quips, a smile that tells Regulus he’s rather pleased with himself.

He rolls his eyes. “I’m not all claws.” Because Regulus knows he’s uptight.

Barty grins. It’s charming and knowing, practically dripping with sin. He reaches for the neckline of his t-shirt; acts like he’s going to pull it upward. “Should we look at my back?”

Regulus holds the hem around Barty’s waist and tugs, scowling. “No, let’s not.”

Barty laughs, collapsing on top of Regulus. He enjoys the weight, presses his fingers into his shoulder blades because he knows he likes rough touches. Gentle touches make him jumpy. He listens to Barty laugh for a while, enjoys the sound of it vibrating against the skin of his neck. He stares at the ceiling and wonders if he should tell Barty that one of the reasons he’s struggling to draw is probably because his estranged brother has cropped his ugly head up.

Barty is good with advice. Mainly because the majority of his advice is to get high and ignore all of your problems. His mother would pitch a fit if she knew all the shit Regulus was getting up to, these days. She calls once a week, always short and curt. It’s more of a call to make sure Regulus is behaving, than to check in on how he’s actually doing. He’s not sure what he’s going to tell her when she asks who his student assistant ended up being. If she knew, she’d likely pull him out of university all together and ban him from leaving the house ever again. Not that he had any choice in who it was.

“Sirius is my student assistant.” He breathes out, the admittance bringing a hollow ache to his chest.

He doesn’t talk much about Sirius. Mainly because it hurts, leaves a bitter taste in his mouth that as much as he tried, nothing was ever good enough for his older brother. Not enough to make him stay. And Regulus knows that expecting Sirius to stay was unfair – maybe it’s more to do with the idea that he left him there. Scared, alone. Baring the crown that Sirius found too heavy. Barty lifts his head until his eyes meet Regulus’. Reading, trying to gage how he should treat this. He’s not sure if he wants Barty to get him high and help him say fuck you to his problems, or if he wants him to offer to kick the shit out of Sirius.

“Okay. Go on.” Barty urges, fingers tracing Regulus’ collar bones.

The feeling grounds him as he huffs and closes his eyes. Thinking. Trying to sort through his emotions because, really, he’s not sure how he feels about it.

“He said I’m just like our father. I was a dick to him.”

Barty smiles sadly. “You were surprised to see him.”

“I knew I’d see him, eventually. I mean, I’ve done a good job of avoiding him. But I thought, maybe naively, when I came to Hogwarts that maybe there’d be a chance he’d want to explain. But he didn’t. He just looked at me with pure hatred and stormed off into the stacks.” It sounds childish, the way Regulus’ voice takes on a petulant whine.

But Barty nods, like he understands. He doesn’t. He doesn’t have siblings, but he does have an uncomfortable family situation. So, he’s sympathetic, at least. “Maybe he’s scared to apologise because he thinks you won’t hear him.” Barty offers.

“Maybe. Or maybe he’s just an asshole.”

The other boy scoffs amusedly, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, maybe.”

“You think he’d want me to be a part of his life? If I could forgive him.” Regulus asks, hating how insecure he sounds.

Barty presses his lips to Regulus’. It’s soft, caring. Rare, for them. “I dunno Sirius. I’ve never met him. But I do know that anyone who doesn’t want a part of you in their life is a fucking idiot. And you don’t need another idiot in your life. You already have me.”

He likes that answer, so he kisses Barty until they’re both a mess of tangled limbs and swollen lips. Until it turns out that there’s other ways to forget his problems. And all of them suddenly have a lot to do with Barty Crouch.

James –

He’s pacing. He knows he’s pacing, and he knows that his footsteps are clunking against the wooden floorboards, and that Remus will likely lose his mind if he continues. But James can’t stop. It’s how he thinks, how he processes. Years of thinking on his feet, of having to have a mind as sharp as a tack, having to move whilst processing a hundred different outcomes. The only outcome he can think of right now is you hating him even more than you already do when he inevitably goes to Pince and tells her that your ankle isn’t properly healed.

He did the necessary reading to conclude that prolonged numbness is definitely not a normal side effect of having a reconstructive surgery. A temporary side effect, yes. But it’s been months since your surgery. That’s not a good sign, according to a very reliable source (if you count Reddit as a reliable source; James isn’t sure if he does). And he knows he’s catastrophising. He’s prone to it. But he’s worried. And wouldn’t he rather you hate him that little bit more and eventually be able to get back on the ice next year (after another surgery, Reddit had confirmed) than risk it all now and never skate again? James doesn’t feel qualified to make that decision. He hasn’t been a captain long, and even then, it’s not like he’s in charge of people’s livelihoods. He wouldn’t have taken the job if that was the case.

James knows how much Nationals means for you – it’s the gateway to the World Championships, to the Olympics. He cost you that last year, and he hates himself for it. Is he really willing to do that to you again? He’s not sure. So, he paces. He loses count of how many times he picks up his phone and almost hits the green call button next to your name. He’s not even sure you’d answer, even less sure of what he’d say to you if, by some miracle, you answered. ‘I think you should miss out on Nationals again, this year, have another risky surgery and hope for the best. Okay, bye!’ doesn’t exactly seem like a good plan to him.

Remus is the embodiment of exhaustion when he pushes James’ bedroom door open and leans against the frame like a parent ready to chastise their hyper-active child. James cringes. Remus needs all the rest he can get. Between hospital appointments, hockey, and his classes, he never stops. “Sorry. I’ll try be quieter.” His voice comes out rushed and anxious, an alarm bell sounding off to alert Remus of his worry.

The taller boy tilts his head and studies James. Sometimes, he loves how perceptive Remus can be. It helps offence, and it generally means that he’s a better friend. But now, he shifts awkwardly because for the second time in the space of a year, he’s keeping a secret from his best friend. He hates lying to Remus. But your words play on a loop in his head. No one can know. You’d been so scared. Terrified, even, at the idea of everything you’ve worked for over the summer being ripped away from you. Call James selfish, but he doesn’t particularly want to be the one to do it. Even though he knows he should because it will be better in the long run.

“Or” Remus suggests, “You could stop pacing and tell me what’s going on with Y/N.”

James opens his mouth. Subsequently closes it because he doesn’t know what to say. He won’t betray your trust. He hates lying to Remus. But he knows, ultimately, if he really doesn’t want to talk about it, his best friend won’t push him.

He feels himself shrug, his best attempt at feigning nonchalance. “Don’t know what you mean.”

Remus’ honey eyes read like a book. He knows James is lying, scrutinising him whilst simultaneously trying to figure out why he’s lying for you. As far as Remus knows he’s on bad terms with you. And technically, that’s true. But James would give anything to fix that. He just hasn’t figured out how, yet.

“You know,” Remus pushes off the door frame, ever the one for imparting wisdom in the most dramatic of ways and pushes his hands into his pockets. “If I didn’t know well enough, I’d say you’re trying to decide her future for her. I can tell you right now, that won’t end well. Whatever it is she’s hiding, I’ve been there. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but one she has to do on her own.

“Don’t make her hate you any more than she does now, James. I’m still rooting for you.”

“You know?” James asks, throat dry.

“About the numbness or you cheating on her?” Remus asks. He doesn’t wait for an answer before he leaves James standing, alone, in the middle of his room with a sinking feeling that he’s let everyone down.

He’s not sure how Remus knows. Maybe you told him even though you’d told James you weren’t going to tell anyone.

An amicable breakup, you’d suggested. It’ll save us both the embarrassment.

He hates himself. Hates himself for all of the things he wishes he’d sat you down and forced you to listen to over the summer. Hates that he didn’t fight for you more. There’s so much you don’t know. So much you don’t want to hear. So much James wishes he’d done differently. Starting with how he wishes he’d run out onto the ice, consequences be damned, the minute he saw you land on your ankle, the minute he heard you sobbing in pain. He wishes he hadn’t walked away, feeling sorry for himself that he’d ripped Nationals from you. That, despite how hard he’d tried, he’d still failed you.

And he hates even more that he even considered doing it for a second time.

James sits on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, and he decides there and then that he’s not going to tell Pince. But he is, even if you fight him every step of the way, going to find a way to fix this for you. You’ll have a chance at Nationals if it’s the last thing James does.

And it starts with a call to Euphemia Potter.

kiss and make-up | j.p. 💋

a/n: i know i said i was gonna take a break but… i just HAD to get this out of my system 🤭

summary: fluff!! james helps you do your makeup

James’ hand comes up to cup your cheek and you bristle, giggling as his fingertip tickles your nose.

“Babe, seriously. I can’t work if you don’t keep still,” he murmurs, bemusement lacing his words as he repositions your face.

You apologize and bite down on your lower lip to stop the smile from spreading across your cheeks. You decide that he deserves some credit for his efforts to doll you up; so you try your best to stay put.

The tip of the eyeliner feels tingly against your skin as James traces it onto your eyelid. You sneak a glance at him, eyebrows furrowed in concentration and tongue jutting out of his rosy lips. You’d give him a big fat kiss if it wouldn’t ruin the make-up he’s been diligently working on for the past hour.

“How’s it look?”

“Shush,” he mutters, tilting his head slightly as he adjusts the wing on your other eye, squinting in an attempt to do some detailing.

Marlene’s band was doing a gig at the biggest pub in town, so you were going down with Lily and Mary to watch her play. The boys were invited too; but were more interested, according to Sirius, in going actual clubbing than listening to some emo rock band.

But your boyfriend had really wanted to spend the night with you, and he claimed that it was not just because you looked really hot in your little dress. So he decided to make it up to you by doing your make-up.

James lets go of your face to lean back and admire his work, and that’s when you notice a dark smudge on his cheek. This time you can’t stop the laughter from bubbling out of you.

“What?” he asks, horrified when you clutch your stomach. His expression only worsens your giggling, an amused smile slowly creeping its way onto his face.

You shake your head, pressing one hand to your mouth to muffle your laughter as you tug him towards you with the other.

Grabbing a wet wipe from beside you, you gently thumb at the eyeliner on his cheek. “You’ve got it on your face, idiot.”

“Oh,” James mumbles, and your grin only widens when his cheeks redden. It’s your turn to grab his face, trying your best to rub the stubborn smudge away. His glasses slide down his nose unceremoniously. You suppress a smile as you push them back up.

You feel his eyes on you when you turn him this way and that, nails poking into his cheekbones. Then, slowly, a small smile makes its way onto his cheeks.

A soft sigh escapes his lips and you halt, locking eyes with him bemusedly. “What?”

“Nothing, you —“ he sighs again. gazing at you with a soppy smile on his face. “You look gorgeous, you know?” he mutters. “Like, you’re always pretty, but right now you’re extra pretty. I wish I could kiss you.”

Your heart stutters at his slushy mess of words, and you feel the overwhelming urge to leave your lipstick stains on him, every part of him you can reach.

A huff of laughter finds its way out of you, cheeks heating up embarrassingly. “I wanna kiss you too, hon. But this lipstick’s too cute.”

James pouts. “Cuter than me?”

“Oh, definitely,” you drawl, but you let him press his lips to yours anyway. He leaves the house later on with one black stain and six lip-shaped ones peppered all over his cheeks.

Request #2 | James Potter x Fem!Reader

Re-uploading due to me being shadow banned :(

Warnings: James is an idiot, mentions of him liking Lily, mentions of insecurity (reader), mentions of food and eating, mean/out of character Lily, most definitely typos and grammatical errors as it’s not proofread, slowwww burn (ish), overexerting, strict parents, swearing, lots of mentions of physical activity

Word Count: 10k

James Potter Masterlist

The library is one of your favourite places to be. It’s quiet, peaceful, and the best part is everyday you are in a new universe. Whether that universe is fighting dragons, or travelling to a new distant land, or your favourite… finding love in the most unexpected situations. But, this week, you aren’t allowed to be engulfed in such fairytales, not with N.E.W.T.s coming up. Definitely not with your family breathing down your neck about how you must achieve a perfect score. Your nightstand overflowing with letters and howlers, not to mention the lack of Hogsmeade trips.

“Y/N Y/L/N! If you think we would send you off to some foolish trip with your N.E.W.T.s coming up, you are wrong! What kind of parents do you think we are? This is your fut—”

“This is your future–bla bla bla,” you mumble, tossing the piece of parchment on your nightstand. It topples to the ground with an inaudible thud.

Everyone is out at Hogsmeade today, so you are alone, well almost… “Remus,” you whisper. “Remus!” A little louder.

His head snaps to look in your direction. “Oh! Hi Y/n.” He walks to you with a kind smile. “What are you doing here?”

“Studying,” you answer. “Speaking of…” Your eyes trail upwards to a book that you can’t quite reach on the shelf. “Help a poor girl out?”

He chuckles, “Sure.” With ease he plucks the book off the shelf.

“Thank you,” you say when he hands it to you. You avert your gaze from the book to him. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at Hogsmeade with your friends.”

He shrugs. “Studying,” he answers with the same energy as you had.

“Parents pressuring you as well?”

You both casually stroll to one of the empty wooden tables and sit.

“No, no,” he assures, quickly. “Nothing like that, it just… keeps me distracted you can say, especially when I’m… stressed.”

You nod in understanding. “I know… it must be difficult for you… well then!” You clap, snapping the both of you out of a grey daze. “Want to be my study partner?”

Keep reading

Okay what about James and reader who doesn’t like physical touch normally but likes being close to James and he’s surprised cause she doesn’t normally like it but he loves it anyway (Also Happy New Year <3 🎊)

my first james fic!! i hope you like this, my dear. happy new year! | fem!reader, fluff, 1k

James has been infatuated with you from the start, of course. Not that he'd tell you that. He's barely maintaining his composure around you as it is, and now you're his girlfriend. He supposes that he's got nothing to be embarrassed about, really. He's managed to keep it together long enough for you to figure out that you, for some reason, like him enough to date him. He liked being friends with you but he loves this. 

Before, he always tried to be very carful with your boundaries -- he still is, obviously. You don't like to be touched with familiarity without warning, and he sees how even a casual hand on your back can make you tense. It's no trouble at all for him to let you dictate when you want hugs or an extra hand or anything at all, even if he's normally quite tactile. Everyone abides by your comfort level, no problem.

In hindsight, he should have realized much sooner that you liked him because you've always let him touch you more than anyone else. His elbow is the one you go for when you need to be steadied, his side the one you tuck into in a crowd, his cheek the one you kiss goodbye. 

And now that you're dating? Well, the boundary has shifted, for sure, but he's not entirely sure to what degree. He really needs to ask you about it. Because, as it is, you're touching him much more. So much that he feels dizzy with it sometimes, which is a little embarrassing considering you're sleeping together these days. An arm around his waist shouldn't make him feel so...much.

You're walking home from the pub one night in the middle of the street when he decides to ask you.

"And then Remus said that the bird had not only gotten into the pantry, but it got into Sirius' weird collection of --" You look at him and frown when you find that he's already staring at you, looking lovesick as anything. "James, are you listening to me?"

"Not really," he says. "You're so pretty that I think my ears stopped working." You blow a raspberry at him and tighten your hold. Your arms are linked together and you've got one hand on his bicep, fingertips gently stroking the denim of his jacket. His hands flex in his pockets. 

"Darling, can I ask you something?" he says. He hopes the pet name will offset the next bit. "I don't want you to take it the wrong way, though."

You laugh and it makes his stomach turn over. "Great way to start." You reach out and push a loose lock of hair back from his forehead, careful not to knock his glasses. 

"Just listen, alright?" He can feel every point of contact between you like a live wire. Maybe he can convince you to take a shower with him tonight just to feel your fingertips on his scalp. "You aren't very, uh, touchy," he says. "I know that. We all know that."

You hum and squeeze his arm a little. Good sign, he thinks. "But I..." His face feels hot. Why is this embarrassing? He's got you in his bed, hasn't he? "You don't seem to mind when I do it?" His voice goes up at the end and he feels a bit like a schoolboy talking to his first crush. You must know that you're the only one who can get him like this.

You tug him to a stop and turn in the middle of the street to look at him, eyebrows high on your forehead. Fuck, he thinks. You really are pretty. Your mouth opens and what comes out is a peal of laughter. Your hands unwind from his arm and settle loosely at his collar as you laugh with your entire body. James wonders if he should be offended. 

"Hey, now," he says. "I'm just checking. I'm five seconds way from shoving my cold hands up your shirt to see if you like it then--"

"I wouldn't mind," you interrupt him, giggles fading. "James, I don't mind when it's you. I thought it was obvious that I've never minded. I mean, you're my boyfriend now." You look at little shy as you clarify the end bit. He tries not to smile too wide so you don't get embarrassed, instead squeezing your hip with one hand. 

"I sure am," he says softly. "But, why? Why don't you mind with me, I mean?"

You shrug. "I don't know," you say, smoothing down his collar. "It's just different with you. Because it's you. I don't know how to explain it." 

He softens even more. What is he supposed to do with all of the affection he has for you? If you didn't want him to touch you as much, he'd figure it out, but he's glad that you allow it. "Okay," he says. He runs a hand up and down your side and you lean into his chest more heavily. "I like touching you, is all. I like having you close. But tell me if you ever don't want it, alright?"

You nod. He knows that you know this, but it's good to remind you that he's not trying to take you for granted in any way. "James Potter," you say. He shivers a little. "You're such a sap." Before he can tease you back you throw your arms around his neck and kiss him right there in the middle of the street. It's more smile than kiss but he doesn't mind. "Is this close enough for you?" you say against his mouth. He pinches your ribs before he circles your waist with his arms and gently walks you backwards a few steps, lips trailing up your cheek. 

"I'd like to touch you at home now, please," he says. You wiggle out of his hold and jog ahead of him, spinning on your heel.

"Race you!" you call. The breath is knocked out of him at your smile. He's absolutely pathetic for you and he doesn't care one bit. 

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, masterlist here!

How about ploy marauders going to a party and Sirius promised to do readers make up, but is late so the other two are making an attempt. Sure they might know how to do Sirius's messy style, but do they know big dramatic styles? Can James do a perfect wing?

<3 fem, 1k

“Can you stay still?” Remus asks, turning your face a half inch where it’s held in his hand. 

“Can James stop kissing me?” you ask. 

James pulls his face from the curve of your neck, the warmth of his lips lingering on your skin. “Sorry, are you busy?” 

“You’re supposed to be helping.”

“Don’t act like you weren’t enjoying yourself.” 

You smile. Remus rubs the softest curve under your eye with his thumb, the tip of his tongue sticking out between his lips. He doesn’t know he’s doing it, concentrating instead on your face and the wetness of your makeup where it’s beginning to sink in. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he sighs. 

“You know better than I do,” James says. 

You don’t know a thing about it, that’s why you’d arranged for Sirius to do your makeup tonight before Marl’s birthday bash, but where is your awful boyfriend? Late, decidedly unavailable for makeup-ing. 

“You’ve done his mascara a thousand times,” James argues with Remus. 

“Yes, but Sirius has never asked me to do his blush.” Remus’ hand moves to the side of your face. “You are lovely, though. I think using only a little of everything is working in our favour.” 

“Sirius only lets him do mascara because he already has nice eyelashes,” you worry. It won’t matter if Remus messes up or doesn’t get close enough to the root. 

“Yes, and because he likes it when Remus holds his face like that,” James points out, eyeing Remus’ hand where it stays at your cheek. Remus has long fingers, ever-so slightly thick with two golden rings that kiss your chin as he lets his hand fall, and he’s always gentle. 

“James, I’m tapping out.” 

James pretends to roll up sleeves he isn’t wearing, your bulkiest boyfriend in a short-sleeved t-shirt that showcases the lean muscle of his forearms, the not so lean ridges of his biceps. They tense as he sits up, his knee jabbing yours, the bed creaking dangerously beneath your angled weight. “What’s there left to do? She’s gorgeous.” 

“What did you want?” Remus asks you. 

“Uh, I wanted, you know…” You sound ridiculously shy. You wish you could just do all of this faff by yourself rather than force their attention, but neither boy seems annoyed. “He does that smudgey eyeliner, it makes my eyes look bigger. And lipgloss, but I can do that myself.” 

“Are you kidding? That’s the best part,” James says. He gives you a smile confident enough to reassure you and handsome enough to make you shy from his touch all over again. “Pass me the black pencil, Remus. I’ve got this.” 

James does not got this, his expression melding from happy, adoring, to perturbed, and then annoyed. “Aw, I’ve fucked it.” 

Remus shakes his head vehemently. “You haven’t! We just need a wet wipe.” 

They search the room for Sirius’ wet wipes and come up empty-handed. A towel is wetted and taken carefully to your eyes instead, cold and rough on your eyelids. 

“Be gentler,” Remus whispers. 

James is practically atop you know, your chin tilted up to his hand. “Sorry,” he whispers in turn, then to you solely, “‘m I hurting you?” 

“No.” You’re whispering too. It feels appropriate; they’re both very close to you, and this movement might fix or ruin your makeup with the party’s start time drawing ever closer. 

“I think I’ve fixed it,” James says, taking the pencil up again, the nib soft as it rolls over the corner of your eye. “Sirius can perfect it in the car, right?” 

“I thought you were good at everything?” you ask. 

James turns your face up impossibly higher, craning his head down for a peck. “Yes,” he whispers severely, “I’m good at everything. But Sirius is usually better. Quick, let’s find your lipgloss before we’re late.” 

Remus tries to tell James that it isn’t true, a serious conversation at a bad time, and James won’t listen to a word of it. They quibble over who’s doing your lipgloss, bathe you in compliments when they’re done —aw, dove, you look so cute, and cute? she looks perfect— then suddenly an abrupt beep is sounding outside. The three of you scramble into your jackets and down the stairs, meeting Sirius where he leans against the car. He throws the keys to Remus, ushering you into the backseat with him for some last minute clean up. 

“Hey, they’ve done a good job,” he praises, another hand on your face to turn it up kindly to the light. “Did you bring your lipgloss?”  

You nod quickly and dig for it in your jacket. 

“What!” James says from the front, turning in the passenger seat to complain. “That’s the one thing we did perfectly.” 

The car starts. Remus laughs to himself behind the steering wheel. 

“Did I say otherwise?” Sirius asks, letting his fingers curve toward the back of your neck. Pale in the light, eyes lit with something funny you’ve yet to hear, he dips in close to you and talks quietly, “I’m sorry, I promised I’d do your makeup for the party. But you’ve all done well without me, you look perfect, especially your lips.” 

“Then what did you want it for?” you ask, confused, your seat belt pulling as Sirius encourages you forward. 

“To reapply.” He taps your neck with a fingertip. “Spare a kiss? I promise I’ll fix any mess.” 

Commotion from the front seat.

“James–” Remus warns. 

“What? I want to watch.” 

“Freak,” Sirius says lovingly. 

“How am I a freak? She’s my girlfriend, you’re my boyfriend, and you’re doing that voice like you’re gonna lay her down in the back seat.” 

“James.” 

—

requests r open!! pls think about reblogging if you enjoyed, I hope u did either way!!!

quidditch games; j.p.

pairing: james potter x fem!gryffindor!reader

synopse: in moments of frusturation, not even your rivalry with james will get in the way of the victory

warnings: sort of rivals to lovers?, swearing, a little of wolfstar, fluffy fluff

word count: 1.6k

a/n: i had so much fun writing this. please beware that i understand NOTHING of quidditch :)

.

James was breathing hard. His ears were ringing with the howling of the wind, and his eyes tried to focus on the game.

It was the last quidditch game of the season, and it was not going well. The game was hot for both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw; the latter had come up with a new and brilliant tatic between the chasers and it was making James' life difficult. His hopes on winning the game were getting lower and lower, as the Ravenclaw seeker was significantly better than Gryffindor's. He was growing frustrated.

So far it was tied, 78-78, but it seemed like the blue team was always one step ahead and-

And there it was. Another lost point.

Things started to get slightly violent about 30 minutes ago. James tried his best to keep his game clean, but it was hard when one of the Ravenclaw's players tried to hit him with his broom on the face. Yeah, the little shit was going to die after this.

Screaming was heard from all around the stadium and James was sure he heard McGonagall swear at everything and everyone, but elegantly of course.

He looked around, almost desperately. No, he was not going to loose this, he worked way too hard, and he wouldn't let anyone get in his way-

Except you, maybe. Yeah, you weren't exactly helping.

"You fucking arsehole! Right! You have to go to the right! Don't you fucking know how to read new tatics?!"

"Shut the fuck up, Y/L/N!"

Your relationship with James Potter was, to put it simple, complicated. Which was not simple at all.

Sometimes it seemed like you were about to kill each other, and others it was like you were about to snog on the wall. Usually, it was a strange mix of the two.

The tension was thick, and everyone was just waiting for it to snap.

"Why don't you fucking make me, you wanker?!" you yelled at him in anger.

You were currently leaning against the rail, your hands gripping it tightly, standing up. You were on one of the highest spots of the stadium, surrounded by students of all houses and all ages, right next to Remus. Remus sighed in exasperation in his seat when another screaming match was about to happen. They did this all the time.

When then Madame Hooch started to argue with one of the Gryffindor chasers and the Ravenclaw’s beaters because of another fault, the game stopped momentarily, and James flew to your level with a scowl on his face.

“So what do you think we should do? You really like to argue when you’re not even in the place to do so, don’t you? What the fuck do you think I’m trying to do? Loose?” James seethed.

“Oh, you’re not? Could’ve fooled me,” you huffed.

You were close, faces inches apart. You kept glaring at the other, and for ten solid seconds, neither said anything. The wind was making your hair too messy and tangled up, and your cheeks were flushed. You had your eyebrows furred as you looked at the infuriating boy, and as hard as it was for him to admit it, you looked so beautiful.

Those around you quieted down, Remus even closed his book, as they looked at the two of you. Yells and screams could still be heard all over the place, as the other players were still arguing above you.

You sighed. “They always start with the opposite side of where they ended. Like a braid. The beaters do the absolute contrary to distract you when they throw the bludgers at you. You have to get your team’s shit together, Potter, you can still win this.”

James pressed his hands on his face and then brushed them through his hair. You could tell how stressed he really was. “I’m trying but I just can’t- I’m not sure the seeker can do it, and I don’t know-” his voice cracked. Your eyes softened at the sight.

You grabbed his face with your hands. “James Potter, you are going to fly up there and win this bloody game, got it? We both know you can, so stop doubting yourself, it won’t get you anywhere. Now get your arse back, it’s about to continue,” you fiercely said. 

James nodded, his face still cradled in your hands, and gave you an adorable grin. “Ah, what would I do without you and your annoying- and hot- self Y/L/N?”

“Get out of here, you dickhead,” you rolled your eyes, but you couldn't help the smile that made its way towards your lips. James winked and flew away just as the whistle went off again.

You seated back next to Remus, ignoring the eyes on you, and trying to focus on the game. “Will you stop? Sirius might get jealous,” you told him.

“I’m just thinking,” Remus started, “How could you still not be together? I have a bet going on, and I don’t really like to lose to Padfoot.”

You grabbed his book and hit him in the head with it. Remus laughed but you ignored him. You could tell that they were playing better now, more neatly and precisely. They started to block the passes of the blue chasers more frequently and goal more often.

James was yelling around, giving instructions and tips and feedback on the plays and moves, organizing his team. You saw him fly up to the seeker momentarily and tell him something, give him a pat in the back, and he went back almost instantly, ready for the next goal.

10 minutes later, the game was 98 - 106 for Gryffindor, and, for the first time, the seekers quickly moved. It was the first significant appearance of the snitch, and the crowd went crazy. They were almost there- both seekers side to side upwards, hands extended and-

“-AND GRYFFINDOR WINS THE QUIDDITCH HOUSE CUP WITH 256 POINTS!” There it was.

You screamed in delight and jumped off your seat, bringing Remus with you, and hugged him. “We won! They won! He did it, Moony, he did it!” you laughed.

“That they did,” Remus yelled proudly, smiling widely.

“Party in our Common Room! I’m just kidding Minnie- Oh? Actually I am not!” Sirius screamed into the microphone of the commentator, his arms around an euphoric (and sweaty) James. 

“Come on, let’s go!” you pulled Remus with you.

.

The common room was wild. People everywhere, food, music, it was quite the party. You were currently waiting with Remus and Peter for the boys to come back, and everyone was very excited to see them. 

You were in the middle of laughing at something stupid Peter said when the portrait opened.

You immediately caught his eyes and took him in. His shining glasses, his black hoodie, which was matching his unruly hair. And while the others cheered, you tried to look for him, only to find him already looking at you.

You gave him the biggest smile he had ever seen, and waved excitedly at him.

James shaked his head and tried to make his way towards you. People were trying to talk, hug and congratulate the boy, but his mind was too preoccupied with something else. So, he started to rush in your direction and when you took notice of it, you went towards him as well.

As soon as you were close enough, James opened his arms and you jumped on him, involving your arms around his neck and legs around his waist. You laughed when he started twirling around with you in his arms “I told you! I fucking told you! This victory is basically mine, because without me, you would never- Hmph!”

James interrupted you by placing his lips on yours, and gave you a hard, loving kiss, pulling back when everything fell silent.

Your eyes widened. James fucking Potter just kissed you after all. But you soon got over the shock, and after one final glance at his honey eyes, you grabbed his face for the second time that day and kissed him back.

With all the cheers, the screams, the laughs, and the intoxicating feeling of James, everything blurred around you.

You could feel him smile into the kiss, and you giggled in it while running your hands through his soft locks. 

“Thank- kiss- you- kiss- so- kiss- fucking- kiss- much- kiss,” James said between kisses, the euphoric feeling from earlier still running through his body (along with a million butterflies).

You pulled back after a while, remembering that at least two hundred people were looking at you. Your cheeks flushed slightly at the thought but you didn’t really find it in you the energy to care.

“This doesn’t mean I don’t hate you though,” you breathed, eyes closed in a blissful way as James leaned his forehead on yours.

When you opened your eyes, however, he was looking at you happily. “Don’t worry, I hate you too,” James smirked. He then mumbled, “Smartass...”

“Oh, I’m sorry, what was that? ‘without Y/N we wouldn't even have come close to winning?’ What?” you teased him.

“Don’t get all proud of yourself now, it was me who played, after all, you didn’t do anything, besides seating there with Moony-” James pretended to be offended, but the twinkle in his eyes sold him out. He was still holding you, and your arms wrapped around him tightly, not wanting to let go. 

“Please, says the one who couldn't figure it out the other team’s play.”

James dramatically gasped. “Says the one who doesn’t even know how to ride a broom!”

“That’s what she said-”

“I know how to ride a broom, alright? What the hell do you even know about it? With the way you were first playing earlier it almost made me plead Hooch to send you back to the first years classes!”

“How fucking dare you-” James pouted and you laughed at his face. He beamed not even two seconds later and kissed you again, swaying the both of you from side to side.

“So this is what we have to endure now?” Remus sighed, wrapping one arm around Sirius' shoulders.

“Oh, I’m going to love this, they’ll never hear the end of this,” Sirius said excitedly. His eyes then widened. “Oh my god, Moons-- Are we like that?” Sirius asked, horrified.

“Yes!” yelled Peter.

And finally, everything was just how it should be.

the art of letting go; jp x sb x rl

pairing: james potter x sirius black x remus lupin

synopse:  James always wants to take care and love the others so much, that he sometimes forgets to do so with himself. thankfully, he has two amazing boyfriends to do so.

warnings: slight angst, panic attacks, self hate kinda, poly relationship, maybe peter redemption, hurt/comfort, too many italics

word count: 4k

a/n: long time no see :) literally love the idea of these three together. i’ve only read things where james is the one putting sirius and remus back together, so why not change that? also, if you don’t like, don’t read.

James always felt a necessity to care. To give. To love.

He had been this way since a little boy; always making sure his mum, Euphemia, and his dad, Fleamont, were alright, and helping with everything he could. 

This need only grew when he went to Hogwarts and met his friends, Peter, Sirius and Remus. Lily, Marlene, Dorcas. Even people he didn't know that well, from other houses. 

James always wanted to take care and love the others so much, that he sometimes forgot to do so with himself. 

. 

James had been feeling blue for a few weeks. Not that it mattered, his problems were nothing compared to the others. 

When Peter felt insecure about his body, James was there to tell him he was awesome, and that not everyone could have the same, intitulated perfect, body shape. He even got Peter going out with a pretty Hufflepuff in the meantime. None of the Marauders have been seeing much of Peter lately. 

When Sirius was enraged and frustrated with another less than caring letter from Walburga Black, James was there to make him smile again and go to the Honeydukes with him, just to cheer him up. James was there to hug him and tell him that he loved Sirius, and that he would always have him. Sirius never would stop grinning for the next few days when James was like this; always by his side, or on his lap, hugging him constantly.

When Remus was feeling closed off from the world, mind travelling back to dreadful bright moon nights, James would hold his Moony, would lull him to sleep and try to do his homework. James would fold his socks. James would convince the House Elfs to make Remus' favourite chocolate cake, and he, Sirius and Remus would stay up together, sharing cuddles and hugs (and kisses). 

So, yeah. James really should pull himself together because he didn't have the right to feel sad. To want to cry. To want someone to hold him instead. He had lovely parents, he was a star player in his quidditch team, girls and guys threw themselves at him left and right, and he had the bestest friends and boyfriends anyone could ask for. He had the perfect life, he always heard. 

"Honestly, James, you're just so amazing. I don't know what I would've done without you. You're just so perfect, your life's perfect," Peter once commented. "And you're really smart, which is also cool and-" 

James then tuned him out. Peter was lately spending less time with James, Sirius and Remus. James logically knew why; he had a girlfriend, he had made new friends, he wanted to give the rest of the Marauders space for their relationship. He had even started to sleep in Longbottom's dorm, which had a free bed, and the two of them had become the greatest of friends. Logically, James knew this. 

But, at the same time, he couldn't help but feel like he made something to draw Peter away. Like James failed. When, in reality, Peter would always be grateful to James to pull him out of his shell, and find the relationships that he was longing for. He had a beautiful, kind girlfriend. He had other friends. He felt at home with the Marauders. The bitterness that sometimes Peter would feel disappeared completely. Peter would always be grateful for having a friend like James. 

James just didn't understand this. And for that he would always disagree with Peter- James really wasn’t amazing. 

. 

At first, he could fake it. The sadness and the growing despair inside him. He would smile, he would joke, he would be confident. Even Padfoot and Moony, the ones that knew him the most, the ones that he loved the most, didn't really notice something at first. And why would they? Even James didn't know what was wrong. If he ignores it, it will go away, he's sure.

However, slowly, Sirius and Remus realised that something was wrong. They just didn't know how truly wrong it was. 

The first time it was after a Quidditch game against Hufflepuff. They had lost, and it was thanks to James. At least he thought it was. He couldn't get one goal right, and their point disadvantage was so big, that even after the red seeker catched the golden snitch, it wasn't enough to win. 

Remus thought it was just a bad game, even though he did find it odd. He couldn't see James' face from the standards, so he would have to wait until he could hug both of his boyfriends to give his signature comforting smile and say 'Don't worry, next time it will be better'. 

He had been waiting outside of the Griffindor's locker rooms, where the team would shower after the games, for about 15 minutes now. 

The door opened and Remus turned his head towards it's way, expecting to find a wet haired Sirius with his arm around a pouting James. Instead, he only found a frowning Sirius, and no James. 

"Where's Prongs?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow and opening his arms for Sirius. Being the tallest one with 6'3, Remus leaned his head on Sirius's, kissing his hair. Sirius, not very much behind on the height department being only 2 inches shorter, nuzzled his nose on Remus' chin. 

"Something's not okay, Moony," Sirius closed his eyes, frown deepening. 

"Watchu' mean?" Remus said, still looking towards the door to see his other love. 

"Prongs. James. His eyes... he was really sad." 

"Well, I mean, it wasn't the best game, I know, but-" 

Sirius pulled back slightly, mouth still frowning and eyes swimming with worry. "It's not that, Moons. He was just... I don't know, you'll understand when you see him, but he just kept his eyes down the entire time, said to the team that he was sorry for disappointing us, and went to the shower. He's still in there. He told me to come get you and for us to go get dinner and that he would meet us in the dorm. Something's not okay, Remus." 

It was now Remus' turn to frown. This wasn't like James. After a bad game, James would get out of that locker room, his hair wet and messy, glasses crooked, and his arms crossed, all while pouting like a child. He then would come into Remus arms, and ask demand him to carry him towards the dorm, not carrying who saw them. Sirius would be close behind, talking exasperatedly and dramatically about the game to Remus and James would sulk and hide his face on Moony's neck, while his legs would wrap around his waist. Being the smallest of the three at 5'10, this really wasn't a problem for Remus. 

But this didn't happen. Sirius and Remus shared a worried look but went to the Kitchens, hand in hand, to go get dinner and bring it to their dorm. They asked for an extra treacle tart for their bespectacled boy. 

And when James finally got there, almost half an hour later, with his eyes lost and a tired smile, neither said anything. They only held him and kissed him throughout the night.

  . 

  The second time it happened was during Transfiguration. It was known that James Potter was quite good at it, and it never failed to make Minnie very proud (insert a rolling of eyes and a reluctant smile by the elder professor). 

They were being given back their papers, the ones they did the previous week. McGonagall said that she was proud of the class, that they all did good. When it got to James' turn, she gave him the smallest smile, and continued to give their papers away. A big, bold red 'A' was written on the corner of the page. Acceptable. 

Huh, James thought. Okay then. He usually got an O, as he always did outstandingly well in these, but apparently he really wasn't that good. 

"Hey, Potter, how did you do? An 'O' again?" Lily Evans exclaimed from a few seats at the front, turning around and flashing her daring but nice smile. They had studied together for this paper. James noticed the 'O' on her paper. 

Students were talking excitedly to one another, eager to show their good grades. James looked at her and smiled weakly at her, but to others it seemed more of a bashful smile. "Not this time Evans, got an 'A'." 

He noticed the noise lower slightly, his friends  glancing his way with a curious look. Lily was surprised, but tried to hide it by shrugging it off while saying something akin to "Oh, that's also alright then". James knew she didn't mean it, but it sounded a little condescending, like when you're talking to a small child. He looked down at his red 'A' again. 

He was a good friend. He was good at Quidditch. He was bright at Transfiguration. At least he thought so. As the days passed, James was starting to doubt it. 

He missed the look Sirius and Remus gave him from each of his sides. He didn’t really notice the arm Sirius wrapped around his waist or the hand that Remus was now stroking. James could only hear the blood rushing through his ears, and he lost himself in his own head. He almost didn’t catch the dismissal from McGonagall. He unwrapped himself from his boyfriends hold and rushed out of the classroom, his paper grasped tightly in his hands. His ears were ringing, he didn't hear the calls of his name; McGonagall wanted to talk to him, having noticed his growing silence in her classes. Lily wanted to apologise, for having come off as rude, when she saw the glare Sirius sent her way. Peter wanted to show James his 'E', excited for his good grade. Dorcas and Marlene wanted to go on a walk, to tell him the newest gossip. Sirius and Remus just wanted their Prongs back, but he didn't hear them at all. 

  . 

  "I am scared, Rem," Sirius quietly admitted that night. 

"I know, Pads. Me too," he whispered, still running his fingers through James' raven hair. 

It was almost midnight. Peter was spending the night with his girlfriend, and while Sirius and Remus loved Peter, they were quite happy for the privacy. Especially now. 

James was on top of Remus, head resting on his chest. His back was towards Sirius, who wrapped his arms around James torso, cuddling into Remus' side. They had only found James hours after the Transfiguration incident, hidden under his Invisibility Cloak on his bed (even though it was their bed, transfigured into a bigger king size, so the three of them could sleep comfortably together). 

"I don't know what's wrong. He won't talk to me. To us. I just want our James back, Remus," Sirius continued, voice quivering from the lump in his throat. His eyes were suspiciously watery. 

"I know, love, I know," Remus sighed tiredly, kissing Sirius on the lips and pressing a long kiss on the top of James' head. 

Neither said anything when a lonely tear escaped James' eye. 

. 

Christmas was approaching now. Classes were ending today, and most of the students were happy to go back home and see their family. 

It was breakfast, and James was sitting next to Remus, Sirius across them along with Peter and Frank. James was munching on his toast quietly, head leaning on Remus' shoulder, while Remus wrapped his arm around James' waist. 

It was obvious to everyone now that James Potter was not okay. But one look at Sirius and Remus' faces and their opinions and thoughts would be immediately shut down. 

The boys were talking with Lily, Marlene and Dorcas when an owl came in and dropped a letter on James' lap. James cleaned his hand with his napkin and opened a letter that was clearly from his parents. He couldn't wait to go home. That was probably all he needed, to go home for a few days, and when he came back he would be completely normal again. At least, what was normal for James. 

He knew that his boyfriends were worried, if the constant affection and reassuring "I love you"'s were anything to go by. He loved them so much it hurt him, and he hated himself for doing this to them, but he couldn't do anything about it. He didn't know how to. James didn't even know what was wrong with him, why he was sad. 

James felt his heart stop at his mother's writing. 

  Dear, 

Your grandfather Henry passed this previous night. Monty and I will travel to London, for his funeral, this afternoon. It may be better for you to stay this Christmas at Hogwarts, sweetheart, as we'll only be back by next week to sort everything out.

We're really sorry dear, We promise we'll make up to you. Say sorry to Sirius and Remus for us, our celebration will have to wait. 

We love you. Merry Christmas.

Mum and Dad. 

  Oh. Okay then. 

James heard Remus' sharp intake of breath from beside him. He knew he was reading from over his shoulder. 

"Jamie-" 

"S' okay, Moons," James said, slowly removing Remus' arm from around him. 

"No, please wait-" Remus tried once more, reaching his arms towards his James. His James that was hurting badly and he couldn't do anything to stop it. 

The slight desperation in Remus' voice startled the others; if the usual calm and collected Remus Lupin was that worried, it was definitely not good. 

"I'll be right back, Rem. Don't worry." 

And with that James left the Great Hall. 

  .

  Hogwarts was almost empty by the end of the afternoon. The majority of the students went back home. Sirius and Remus stayed, refusing to go anywhere. 

The Gryffindor Common Room was filled with Christmas decorations to the brim. The light was dim, candles flying around. The harsh rain and wind from outside filled the silence. Being the only one there, Sirius was cuddled up under a big, cozy blanket, his and his boyfriends favourite, on his favourite sofa, looking longingly at the fireplace. He was waiting for James to return from wherever he went to hide. Remus was finishing his shower back in the dorm. 

It had been a while since Sirius was happy, as he couldn't when one of his favourite two persons wasn't. The quidditch game, the one where all of this started, had been today three weeks ago. The full moon was a week after that. It has been a difficult month in general. 

No matter how much he thought, Sirius didn't know what was wrong with James. He had always been proud of himself when it came too reading Remus and James. He knew them like the palm of his hand, they were his soulmates. It made him anxious not knowing what was wrong with one of them. 

The sound of a portrait opening shook him out of his thoughts, and Sirius snapped his head in the sound's direction. 

There, looking completely exhausted, was standing James Potter. His eyes were red, as if he'd been crying non-stop for hours. His breathing was loud, and Sirius was sure his lover's heart was beating way too fast. 

Sirius Black was completely terrified because, as he'd come to realise, James Potter was reaching his breaking point. James opened his mouth and Sirius held his breath. 

"Where's Remmy?" He asked quietly. So quietly that Sirius only heard him because they were the only ones there. Because the only thing that could be heard was the distant sound of rain and ravished breaths. Remus by now must have finished his shower. He must have, Sirius thought. 

"He's just finished showering, Prongsie," Sirius's voice trembled slightly. He was sure that still, James didn't notice. 

"Oh," his voice was soft, resembling the one of a small, innocent child, "Okay." 

James looked out of the window, eyeing the rain. His mind was slipping, James realised. James felt small and sad and desperate and so tired. He wanted to count the tiny drops of rain that were painting the dark sky. He wanted to scream. He wanted Sirius and Remus. His ears were ringing again and James would've laughed at the thought if he could. They have been doing that quite much lately. 

"I'm sorry-" James' voice broke. "I'm so so sorry, Siri. 

And James finally let go.

  .

  Sirius saw James fall to his knees, Sirius saw James crying. The crying became almost immediately heart wrecking sobs. 

Sirius jumped, and ran the fastest he ever had towards James. "Oh, my love," Sirius cried and pulled James into his arms. James gasped and pressed himself hard into Sirius body, as if trying to get out of his own and mold with him. Sirius was also crying in pain, as he could now see all of the despair James was in, but also in relief because he knew that this was necessary. James needed to break so he could heal. He needed to let go, and Sirius and Remus would be there to help pick up the pieces. It really was what he needed, what they all needed. 

"Sirius," James called, body trembling, crying hysterically. 

"I'm here, James, I'm here." 

Sirius couldn’t really register his voice yelling for Remus. He picked James up, and walked the fastest he could to their dorm. 

When he got there, Sirius threw the door open with one hand, the other still carrying James, who had legs wrapped tightly around the others waist, arms around his neck, hands mindlessly pulling at his hair, eyes tightly shut as the pain consumed him. James' sobs wouldn't subside, and his voice would be calling for either Sirius or Remus, saying that he was sorry and that he needed them and that he couldn't and that he was sorry again. 

"Remus!" Sirius frantically called. "Remus, Remus!" 

Remus rushed out of the bathroom shirtless, only having time to pull up his grey sweatpants. The sight in front of him would forever be the most heartbreaking thing in his life. Sirius with his eyes wide and hair completely messy, with tears running down on his face. His expression was of pain and fear. In his arms was a desperate James that sobbed and called for him, clinging to Sirius as if he needed him to survive. It was probably true anyway. 

"Remmy, please, I'm sorry-" James continued, stuck in his own mind. 

"I'm here baby, I'm here," Remus immediately rushed towards him, taking James into his arms to give Sirius some rest, and cupping his swolen, wet, red face with one hand. "You're okay now, Jamesie, we're here and we're not going anywhere. I love you." 

Remus went to their bed, holding James tightly. He leaned his back on the headboard, keeping James on his lap. Sirius went to the bathroom and he came back with a soft towel, tissues and a glass of water. He put all of the items on the little table besides their bed and pressed himself into Remus' side, who let go of his arm to wrap around the balck haired boy. Sirius pressed his face into the back of James' neck, kissing and murmuring words of love into it. He felt James' frantic heartbeat start to slow down after a few moments that seemed too long and Sirius released a sighed of relief. Remus, who was previously nuzzling his nose on James' head, threw his head back, leaning it on the headboard as well, looking tired. 

No one said anything for a few moments. The boys were waiting patiently for James to get out of his head, to collect his thoughts, to calm down. Sirius laced his fingers with Remus', who squeezed his hand. 

"It-it started at the beginning of-of November more or less," James started, stuttering and fumbling over his words. Sirius put his arm around James' belly, and stroked the exposed skin, as his hoodie had rolled up. "I just- started to feel over, overwhelmed at taking care of everyone, and I felt sad. But, but I thought it wasn't important compared to all of the-the shit you two and the others have to face sometimes. So I just ignored it and, and kind of suppressed it." James furred his eyebrows, trying to concentrate, but the trembling of his voice didn't seem to want to stop. 

"Shh, it's alright, baby, don't worry. Take your time," Remus quietly, but lovingly, reassured. 

James nodded, cuddling more into Remus' warmth and grabbing the hand Sirius had on his stomach. " And it just- and it just kept getting worse. I just kept feeling more sad , and I was just so afraid of hurting and disappointing you..." He trailed off, lonely teats still running through his face. "I guess I just stopped caring about me, to the point where I didn't know what to do." James' voice broke and his lovers held on tighter to him. 

He paused for a few seconds before he continued. "And when I went back to the Common Room, and saw Pads all cuddled up with our blanket... and, and he was frowning and his eyes were sad- I couldn't help but blame myself and feel like I disappointed you, and all of what I was trying to hold together these past few weeks just- just snapped." 

"Oh, love, " Sirius sighed, stroking his thumb over the hand he was holding. Sirius then sat up straight, turned James back to Remus' front, and moved so he was right in front of the other two. He then grabbed James' face with both of his hands, while Remus wrapped his arms around James' waist and rested his face on James' shoulder. "I want you to get this through inside that thick head of yours, alright?" Sirius quietly demanded. "You should never ever feel like you don't matter, okay? Your feelings are just as important as Moony's and mine. You shouldn't feel like you don't matter, my love, because you do." 

Remus lovingly kissed James' neck. "Padfoot's right, Jamie. And you could never disappoint us, baby, we love you so much." 

James nodded softly, trying to get their words inside. Yeah. He can do that. He teared his eyes from Sirius' handsome face and looked down. Wow. I am such a fool.

"James." Remus murmured, noticing his boyfriend getting lost in his mind again. He continued to press small kisses to the raven haired boy. First his neck, then behind his ear. His jaw, his cheek, his temple and his hair. Just letting him know that he would always take care of his boy. Remus and Sirius would show James forever that he matters. That he is loved, that he is bewitching, smart and beautiful. Never again, Remus repeated in his mind.

Sirius lifted James' head once again and stroked his cheek adoringly. His hazel eyes were slightly dazed as he looked at Sirius. James gave him the littlest and sweetest smile. He looks so small, Sirius' mind echoed. And so precious. His boyfriend was absolutely adorable like this. In Remus' lap the size difference stood out; his hair was a mess and his glasses were crooked. His eyes were reddened and occasional sniffles were heard. His oversized black hoodie made the scene all the more cute. Not resisting, Sirius kissed James deeply and delicately, still stroking his face. Remus sighed contentedly and continued to press small kisses to whatever skin came across.

They stayed like that for a while. Throwing meaningful words of love and touches of affection. It was not until James finally slumped against them, with closed eyes and slow breaths, that Remus and Sirius pulled back and layed down, pressing James between them before all of them went to rest.

Sirius kissed Remus forehead and Remus kissed Sirius lips. Both of them pressed many tiny kisses into James' head, watching a peaceful smile appear. And it was then that it was clear:

James would always be okay, with his Remus and his Sirius, as long as he learned to just let go.

OKAY I KNOW I’VE BEEN OFFLINE FOREVER BUT I SWEAR I WILL POST A FIC TOMORROW

it’s a short little james x reader fic

it’s cute and sweet and made me cry a bit (happy tears i promise)

I did it! I got an Ao3 account!!

the user is

queer_alienbean

I’ve already posted my fics on there, so if you prefer to read on Ao3, they’re there!

the voting was pretty clear😂 I will post the jegulus fic on Ao3 as soon as my beta readers read it

If your requests are open i wanted to request something from James Potter x reader angst obvious, where James is tired of Lily ignoring him so he starts dating y / n because he knows she loves him, they spend months together and Lily finally agrees to go out with james and he immediately goes with her, y/ n realizes that james never loved her

somehow or other we need james to regret it so maybe lily just used james, and he realizes how kind and cute was y/n

thank you, if you dont write this no problem

When I ruled the world.

James Potter x Fem!Reader. Summary: "You're one lucky girl" the Ravenclaw girl stopped her reading when she saw you. "James Potter" she said; "What a man". TW: MeanGirl!Lily Evans.

"So?" He asked, his pretty eyes and his smirk directed to you. James face was the pretties thing you've ever seen, his checks would turn into a beautiful shade of pink when he was sweating and running too much, just like now. "Whatcha' say?"

You blinked a few times, confused, happy, and honored to say the truth; "You want me, I mean, ME..." Making a remark on the last word you continued with your sentence, your fingers were playing with one another and you moved your foot in a nervous way, you looked everywhere, expecting this to be one of other Marauders prank. "...to be your, your girlfriend?"

"Yes" James smiled, wide and bright. He seems excited, you thought. He seems honest.

But no matter what he would say, there were a few things that you were unable to fit in the line of the history.

"Weren't you in love with Lily Evans?"

You asked, now in a lower voice since all of the Marauders and some Gryffindors were around the scene, not wanting to end in shame. James Potter having his first formal girlfriend was surely a big fuss.

"No" He simply said, and then laughed "Ok, I liked Lily" He remarked the "ed" in past; "But that was just, you know, it was puppy love. A child crush" He took your hand and left a kiss on it, James had a funny way of talking, it could make you believe in every single thing he was saying, his voice was soft, calm and it had that beautiful charm that those singers from the 60's would only have.

"I saw you trying to flirt with her"

You say, feeling insecure about his intentions.

"Yes, you see, when Lily and I became friends" He stopped for a second "I realized that when I flirt with her it annoys her, and I just think it's kinda funny. But that's it, I swear".

He seems honest. He seems real. And the bad thing about a rich only child with a tendency to always get what he wants and an arrogance bigger that the mere castle you were standing on was that, in fact, they knew how to lie, very, very well. But he looked honest. And how could you say no to those cute curls and those ocean blue eyes.

So you smiled, as you only know how, because James Potter was your puppy love and it went evolving till he became the man of your dreams. And now you were having the opportunity to live the dream.

"Yes" You say with your voice full of emotion and James smile got bigger too "I want to be your girlfriend, James Potter"

James has always been the theatre kid, he liked to make a big fuss of everything and he detested to share the attention, so when he was the first Marauder with a proper girlfriend, he had to trough a party. It had to be so big and so noisy to make Lily Evans know that James Potter has now a girlfriend.

James Potter was no Lily Evan's bitch anymore. He was a handsome man. The most handsome there was. He was charming, he was rich and you could swear was made by the gods above. He couldn't possible be spending all the time going after the same girl, he had to live.

"I thought you said Lily Evans was the love of your life" Sirius said, lighting a cigarette and lying on his bed.

"Yes, and she is" James simply answered.

Remus looked at him completely confused "Is your mind set on the state where you say that sometimes the love of your life it's meant to know but not to be"

James denied, laughing.

"I think he's more of a 'While the one isn't here, enjoy the wrong one' kind of guy"

"That's wrong"

"C'mon, moony. Why would it be?"

"That girl is completely in love with you"

"And I love her too" James says "We've been friends since kids. I just don't have the same kind of love she has for me, but I mean, I'm doing her a favor" James walks through the room looking for his Quidditch practice stuff. "She's always been head over heels for me. Take it as my charity work of the year"

"That's so wrong, Prongs" Sirius objects and Peter nods in agreement.

"C'mon, guys. What was I supposed to do? I'm tired of Lily ignoring me"

You felt your sighs conspiring against you when they started to desperately want to go out in the moment James was walking to you.

You look at him, sweating for Quidditch, but his curls prettier as only they know how to. You could get lost in James eyes, and anyone could, those deep ocean blue had something that would let you thinking. You would find peace at his eyes. Hell, you could swear that, if the one who must not be name was still alive, James Potter could've fix him by just looking at him.

"James, you're killing me" You wanted to give him your life. You kissed his sweaty cheek and he smiled, waving a moment to Lily who passed behind and then going back to you again. "I'll give you my life"

He chuckles, cheeks turning ever more pink "Stop, [y/n/n]"

"And listen to me James Potter" You say before taking a small towel from your back and start to clean his face "If my life doesn't fit you, you can make the mess you want with my heart and become the tailor of it"

"You're such a hopeless romantic"

You continue with his ears and let another kiss, this time in his lips; "How does it feel?" He murmurs in respond, you understand that as a 'what' and continue "That I like you so much, my love" You finish to clean his face and smile at him "That if one day you go with someone else, I'm going too"

James nods in disavowal and laughs at your joke. You didn't mean it literally. Because it was that. A joke.

"I swear, baby" James says "I know, I just can feel it"

"You're so ridiculous, Jamie"

"Noooo" He whines and comes closer to you; "The world put you with me"

"It was just our moms" You laugh.

"But the world put our moms together so we could be together" You mouthed a 'Dramatic' and he continued talking "And, I swear to you, my love; I'm not me without you"

"James..."

You warn before he could say something else.

"I mean, without you I think I'm just a Potter but you make me James"

You nod at him, trying to make James get in bed. He was so drunk right now, and you knew he will regret it tomorrow.

"Go to sleep, James"

"I love you so much, my beautiful girl" He says. "I'll gif you the stars if you want"

"I know"

"I'll gif you whatever you want"

You smile "I know, Jamie"

"Everything I am is yours" He says, eyes open, at this point you were surprised he wasn't falling asleep, on the contrary, he was well rested "Just give me a smile, for me"

You show him your tooth while smiling and he closes his eyes while chuckling in a dreamy way.

"If you want I'll give you the 24 hours my day has"

"I don't want that, Jamie"

"You don't want to spend 24 hours with me?" He asks, his eyes tearing but not because of sadness, but for how drunk he was.

"Of course I want, darling"

"If you want I'll take your hand for my whole life, and we'll walk through it. Holding hands" He says, voice starting to get tired and sleepy "Nothing can ever happen to me as long as you love me"

"James, go to sleep" You say, not getting used to how sweet your boy was. Not only when drunk, but he got specially cheesy when drunk. And they say "Drunks and kids always tell the truth".

"Ok, I'll go to sleep. If you give me one last kiss for the night" And you do, you take his lips and kiss him, and it feels as if you wouldn't be able to do tomorrow.

"I love you" He states and you shock. "It's ok if you don't say it back" James strokes your hair with sloppy movements "I'm not asking anything more than what you want to give me"

Soft strokes and some petting is what makes James wake up as they draw his skin. He chuckles and you smile, you're always looking for his soft and calming voice.

"Go to sleep, baby" You say when he stars to open his eyes "It's Sunday morning".

And the months were going by, and James found what he was looking for, if not more. And Lily realizes that loosing James was not worthy.

Everyone was congratulating you, you were the lucky one, you were the one that everyone wanted to be because every single girl at school wanted to date James Potter. And Lily hated that. Even if she didn't want to be with James, he wanted what he represented. He wanted people to want to be her, not you, but her. She was the perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect friend, she needed to be the perfect girlfriend.

Remus laughed at what you said, he was tutoring you since you had problems with your last charm exam.

"So, [y/n]" Remus asked "How's everything going with James?" He smiled "I know he was your first crush since..." He made a pause "Well I just remember you went to Hogwarts together and you were already so in love"

"Well..." You started, dreamy voice and your eyes starting to shine "He was an amazing kid" You stated "He was the only thing I knew back then" You sighs, exhaling love over your pores "And he was sooooo so pretty" He shuts up and then talks again "He IS so pretty"

"So you go over looks" Peter intervenes for the first time, you laugh and look at him with cuteness.

"You know I don't" She continues "He's in fact a really good person; I mean, have you ever knew a boy more romantic and retailer? And he has such a way with words, he makes me feel like the most amazing girl on earth, he's always bragging about having me and he makes me feel so worthy"

Remus looks at you and he envies James for a second, he being able to find love with a girl like you is something Remus is gonna be happy for always, but he can't deny sometimes it was overwhelming, because he thought he could never get that love for himself.

But he was happy for both of his friends.

"You truly are the ideal couple"

"I know" you bragged, playing with your hair, so happy and so in love.

James stops a little from what he's doing and makes sure the door is looked and the silence charm is on. She looks at Lily pinned on the wall, skirt up and panties down. She's soaking wet and James is hard.

"James" She moaned "This is wrong" She opened her eyes and made him look at her face, pink cheeks and red lips slightly open with messy orange hair "This is so wrong" She faked worry "You have a girlfriend"

James murmured something, kneeling and while putting Lily's tight on his shoulder, he looked at her and said, with a short breath and horny voice "Fuck her".

"You' looking for James, love?" Sirius ask, looking at you and helping you to carry your books to the Marauders room.

"Imma' wait for him in your room" You answer shyly "If it's no problem"

Sirius smiles and takes you to the room "Nop. Let's go, I need help with my homework"

After a little fight with Sirius because he wasn't exactly the most patient person and you weren't the best teacher, your boyfriend arrived.

"James!" You yelled when your boyfriend appeared, you got up from his bed and went straight to hug him "I missed you so much"

James tries to comb his messy hair and rubs his hand with his trouser. "I missed you too, baby"

You leave a kiss on his cheek and pull him to the bed. Sirius looks at him confused. He know that hair, and he can recognize that smell. His zipper was half way to being up and he knew James was doing the walk of shame, it had been something he has done so many times for him not knowing how it looks like.

"Sirius said he was gonna give us a few time, along with Peter"

Sirius reacts after hearing his name and trying to not get mad at James, hoping and praying it was just a misunderstanding, he excuses himself.

"And Remus is studying"

You start, kissing his neck and taking your hands to his torso before he stopped you;

"I'm tired, darling"

"Oh" You say "It's ok" You get off from him and fix your uniform "Rough day?"

"Something like that"

James leaves a kiss in your forehead, dragging you into a hug. You are so pretty, he thought. It's really sad you're not Lily.

On the way to your trip, way to Hogsmeade. James was feeling particularly drag to Lily, but you were convincing yourself it was just because they were friends. They were very good friends.

"Jamie" You murmured, trying to find his hand to hold it but he dropped it. You tried again, thinking it was unconsciously and he didn't mean it. "I'm cold"

You say, hugging your coat when you can't reach his hand. He turns his eyes away from Lily to look at you and tell you; "Dar- [y/n]..." You frown at that "I'm gonna take Lily to see this store, since she asked me, you know"

You nod your head at his words "You're going with me to the library?"

"Tell Remus, he likes that stuff too"

You bite your lips trying to hold back your tears. He wouldn't hold your hand. He didn't call you "darling". He couldn't go with you. He send you with Remus. And even tough you love Remus, Remus is not your boyfriend, you don't want to be clinging to him, you want James, you want to hold James hand, you want him to give you his glove, to you, not to Lily.

"Ok"

You say with a tiny voice, the product of the tears you were retraining. He thought it was because the weather was cold, and it wasn't like he did care.

"Remmy" You whine while seeing James and Lily walk away. "Go with me"

"Sure, baby"

James was beyond excitement every time he sees Lily, but his eyes do not lie, and their shine belonged only to you, yet it seemed to not be enough. Because everyone wanted Lily Evans. The perfect Lily Evans, they were just meant for each other, they were Gryffindor king and queen. Not you and James, that was just one illicit affair from the king towards the kingdom, but they condole it long enough so he wouldn't be bored till the queen was there.

You were in the common room, sitting next to James and Lily next to her, they were talking while you were resting your head in his shoulder, yet unable to process his feelings and lying to yourself about the love he promised. You move to find another position and put your legs in his so you can lie on the couch.

But you see Lily throwing a look at him, and she touches his tight, and that's when he winnows your legs to make spacer for Lily instead.

And if somebody dares to ask, you could explain in heavy detail how your heart was slowly getting smaller, you could see how James took the only thing you had left between his hands and started to squelch it.

And in that moment, it hit you. He doesn't care. He never did. He was in love with Lily, but you were there, available. And he was bored. You were serve in a gold platter to him and it was you who have him and it was easier to get with you that chase Lily. You were his second option.

You got up from the couch and excused yourself from the common room.

You looked back at James and he was dumbfounded with Lily while she was looking at you, mocking and happy she got away with whatever her plan was. Not that it was completely her fault. James should've respect your relationship. James should've keep his promises.

You saw him the very next day, after he didn't bother to look after you, not in that moment, not later to kiss you goodnight. You knew you weren't prepared to talk to him, his past actions still burning heavy in your chest, your words couldn't possible scape your mouth even if you wanted to. So you just went by him. Ignoring everything he could say and running from his touch. Not that he did care. Lily was always there behind him.

By the time you were ready to talk, it just had been about two days and a few hours. But he went to Lily, looking comfort in the only person who he though he could rely. Of course he went.

You drag him out of his comfort and demand his time for you

"I want to break up with you" You say. Simply.

Letting all the anger you felt slip out of your mouth. He stars to prepare his mouth to lie to you and you cut him before he has the chance; "Please, don't you dare to say you love me"

"But I love you, [y/n]"

"Please stop, James"

"I don't know why you're making this. I-I"

You cut him, abruptly, annoyed. "Oh, you really don't fucking know? What about Lily, James? What about fucking Lily Evans?"

And James took that personal, because even if you never were suspicious about him cheating, he did, he did he ditched you to fuck Lily, and while you were just emphasizing her name, in his guilty conscience, it meant more.

"I mean yes, we were a little too much together but it was nothing serious. You know we're friends"

"You dropped my fucking hand to go with her, James. You dropped my TWO legs, just to let hers rest in your thigh" You feel your chest get heavier as the difficult to breathe it's more and more "You stopped yourself from calling me 'darling' in front of her"

You knew that if James apologized you will through everything for him, but even tough you weren't the type that he liked, you still holding into the belief that it's all been worth the fight.

James felt loose. Suddenly, having Lily around wasn't enough anymore, and most of the times she wasn't even around. She was always so busy. Lily would never let her responsibilities or plans to go with James. Not even when he needed it the most.

Not like you.

His heart was walking the corridors but no one could hear the message they were holding, not even you. You couldn't even look at her. And he would find his eyes clipped on you, waiting for you to realize he's looking at you and look at him.

He just want you to look at him.

But he would never ask you for any more than what you can give him.

"[y/n]" He said, with the saddest voice you've ever hear coming from him "Can- Can we talk for a moment?"

"Sure"

You say, sweet and kind. You cared. And it was a light of hope for James.

"I miss you so much"

You frowned and then smiled "Yes, I miss you too, James" You say and he smiles "You were my best friend"

"I was your boyfriend"

"I prefer to remind just the good things from people"

James' smiled disappears "You have no good memory from boyfriend James?"

"Should I?"

"I couldn't been that bad"

"James..." You start, cleaning with your hand some fluff from his shoulder "When you're in a relationship, it feels amazing. But, when in any given moment, you realize your partner is in love with someone else, and has always been, no amount of good moments can erase the feeling of being use"

"I wasn't using you, [y/n]... I"

"You were always in love with Lily, James. You were with me but your heart belonged to her. You belong to her. Not to me, and that's fine. I just want you happy. That's what love its"

"Ho- You, did you feel out of love?"

"Go to class, James"

"No" He insisted, holding your arm to not let you go "I know there's not a thing I could say or do for you to change your mind. I won't ask you for forgiveness or to stay, I just want to know; when did you decided this all was not worth fighting anymore?"

"I've gotta go to class, James"

You say and quickly sneak away so he can't hold you anymore.

"Oh, my, god" Marlene says, clearly mad "The fucking nerve some men have"

"The audacity" Alice replays.

You only smile and nod, finding your comfiness in the couch. James enters the room, the Marauders following behind, walking directly to their room, and when they cross the door, James breaks.

"I shouldn't have leave her"

Remus was about to say something but he just shuts, palming his back and trying to comfort the crying boy.

"Are you ready to tell us what's wrong, Prongs?" Sirius asks.

"Lily is cheating on me"

Peter laughs, earning deadly glances from Sirius and Remus, he shrugs and speaks "Well, honestly James, [y/n] was supposed one of her best friends, if she did that to her It shouldn't be a surprise for you"

"I'm her boyfriend, Peter"

"You can trust someone who stars a relationship with you by cheating on someone else"

James knew it was true. But he was still heartbroken, and he knew it wasn't because of Lily. It was because of you. He dies a little bit inside every time you ignored him, and he could feel he completely died when he saw you kissing a Slytherin boy.

A Slytherin boy.

Now, you were cheering for Slytherin, you were wearing green at the games, and you were no longer screaming James Potter.

It was Regulus Black now. You screamed Regulus Black at the top of your lungs. You kissed Regulus Black at the end now, no matter if he looses or wins, you were kissing his pale cheeks and combing his curl hair.

Regulus was so gentle with you, and he could notice at how he would hide his face in your shoulder when Slytherin loose instead of yelling the frustration out with you around.

James Potter lies in bed now, he cries himself to sleep, and now he feels what you felt. He would spend his days looking for the love that he had but now belongs to someone else.

Regulus Black was now the lucky one. And James was just some misfortune king.

He used to rule his world, now he wakes up alone, wishing he had something someone else had, sweeping the happiness he once used to own and everyone used to envy.

Now the new king was Regulus Black. He had everything. And everything was you.

And he discovered that the castle of happiness was built upon pillars of salt. There was not a single word that could’ve been say that would ever feel honest again. And his kingdom fell into lies, turned into poison and negation, People couldn't believe what he had become because he was trying so hard to convince himself he will be happy again. Just like he felt when he ruled the world.

Late Night | Poly!Jegulus x GN!Reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: James Potter x Regulus Black x GN!Reader WC: 1,005 CW: unhealthy sleep schedule, poly relationship, insomnia(??), slight anxiety, mentions of food (cookies), james worrying, no use of Y/N Author's Note: Damn haven’t wrote anything in a few weeks hope this isn’t like terrible 😅 Summary: You and Regulhs are being night owls

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹

James shot up when he heard what sounded like something being dropped on the floor. 

He immediately put his glasses on and looked to his side, getting a rush of anxiety when he realized he woke up alone. 

You and Regulus weren't there and it had to be at around two or three in the morning considering it was pitch black outside. 

James immediately got out of bed and walked out of the room as quickly and quietly as he could while he felt his heart beating out of his chest and his mind raced.

What if someone was in their home? What if someone was hurting you and Regulus? 

James cursed at himself when he realized he came out of the room empty handed. How did he manage to forget his bloody wand?

He felt as if it was too late to turn back now.

While James was looking around their home in search of you and Regulus he noticed that there was light coming from the kitchen. 

With furrowed brows he proceeded to the kitchen with caution, his mind still getting the best of him.

He peeked into the kitchen and James felt all his anxieties wash away but his confusion only heightened. 

There you and Regulus were talking in hushed voices while… eating cookies?

Were you and Regulus having cookies?

Without him?

James never felt so offended in his life. There you two were the loves of his life having snacks without him! Especially when the three of you should be asleep.

A true betrayal. 

“What are you two doing?” James asked, making his presence known. 

Regulus and you looked up at James slightly startled and looking like two kids who were about to be scolded. 

Which you and Regulus both knew was a possibility since James often stresses about the importance of a ‘healthy sleep schedule’.

Whatever the hell that means.

You immediately grabbed a cookie holding it out to James giving him the biggest smile you could manage attempting to distract him from the fact that it was the middle of the night. “Cookie?” 

Regulus just dropped his head looking down while shaking it obviously not impressed with your attempt to distract James. 

Apparently James wasn't impressed with your attempt either since he took the cookie you had offered him with a quiet ‘thank you’ but then he decided to repeat his question.

How Rude. Literally not at all.

“What are you two doing?”

“Nothing much, you?” Your response earned a small frown from James and a small smirk and chuckle from Regulus.

Regulus proceeded to wrap an arm around you, kissing your head softly trying to hide his amusement from James. “We've been caught darling. No use trying to get out of it now.”

“Worth a shot.” You muttered while shrugging. 

Regulus just chuckled again thinking to himself that you might be spending a little too much time with Barty.

“Are either of you going to answer my question?” James asked concerned and slightly irritated but you knew his irritation was only coming from a place of worry.

James had a tendency to worry a lot about the people he carried about.

Especially you and Regulus. 

Since you could remember James has worried about yours and Regulus sleep schedules. You two could stay up all hours of the night, sometimes even days and you both could function properly which worried James since sleep is very important in maintaining a healthy body and mind. 

“We couldn't sleep so we decided to make cookies.”

“We tried to stay quiet so as to not wake you but someone dropped the backing sheet.” Regulus looked at you with a teasing look in his eyes as you glared at him while you muttered something about it being an accident.

James continued to look at you with a concerned look in his eyes but he couldn't help but feel his irritation faded since he had always found it hard to stay upset with you two especially when you both were the cutest people he has ever had the pleasure of laying his eyes on.

He just couldn't help but worry about your wellbeing. 

“Why didn't you wake me? I could have tried to help you two sleep.” 

“Jamie, it wasn't going to happen for us. It's just one of those nights.” You sent a small smile to James while grabbing his hand, pulling him towards you and Regulus gently. 

Regulus pushes some of James' hair out of his face so he could look in James' eyes; those eyes that Regulus loved with all his heart. “There was no point in all of us being awake mon amour.”

“Plus Jamie you get kinda grumpy when you don't get your beauty sleep.” Regulus nods in agreement while James just scoffs at the both of you but the small smile on his face shows he means nothing by it.

“That's beside the point. You could have still let me try… I just worry about you two sometimes.” 

Regulus pulls James closer so that the three of you are in a hug. “We know mon cerf, and you've done so amazing at helping us but sometimes old habits die hard and that's okay. Just because there's a few setbacks doesn't mean you've failed. We appreciate you so much.”

“We promise that we’re okay. Sleep just doesn't always come easy for us and that's not your fault.”

James sighs and nods, resting his head on you. “You're right, both of you.”

“Yeah. We normally are.” That earns a laugh from both of your boyfriends. 

James goes to give you a kiss on the cheek with a smile on his face while he whispers ‘I love you’. 

James stayed up with you and Regulus for as long as he could, finishing off the rest of the cookie and cuddling on the couch while watching movies.

You and Regulus stood up for most of the night till eventually all three of you were fast asleep on the couch in each other's arms.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹