Jujutsu Kaisen Oneshot - Tumblr Posts

He Might Not Look Like He Gets Bitches (but honey, that dick was 11 inches)

Pairing: Inexperienced!Choso Kamo x Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, smut, fingering, clit rubbing, reader teaches Choso, oral (both f and m receiving), handjob, p in v, no protection, creampie, (slight) tummy bulge, loss of virginity (Choso), not proofread

WC: 1.5K

(18+) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

“What are they doing there?”

Your head jerks sideways towards Choso as he speaks, then goes back and forth from Choso to the movie playing on the TV, where two actors had involved themselves in a passionate make out session. “They’re kissing…?”

He tilts his head in confusion, “Why?”

You try to sound as casual as possible as you say, “Because the characters are attracted to each other.”

“Attracted… to each other…” he repeats your words, making you unsure of whether you’re supposed to be teaching him this. Before you can say anything, he shifts in his seat as he says, “I want to try it.”

“Okay, you will do it–”

“Can you teach me?”

Your breath hitches at his forwardness. “You want me to teach you how to kiss?”

“Yes,” he says with a little too much surety.

“Now?”

“Yes.”

You slowly move closer to him until you’re straddling him. You feel his breath hitch as you cup his face slowly, his deep brown eyes sinking into yours. “Ready?” you ask, your voice imitating a hum of assurance. He simply nods in response. You start by kissing his cheeks, already feeling the goosebumps at the back of his neck. You then kiss his forehead and nose. He lets out a small whimper when you finally peck his lips, his head jerking forward, wanting more. He immediately reaches for the TV remote and turns it off, which makes you giggle. “Eager, are we?” You peck his lips again, to which he nods needily in response.

You finally crash your lips against his, moving softly. He tenses up at first but melts into it eventually, his yearning lingering in every movement of his lips. 

You break the kiss, “You like that?”

He seems too overwhelmed to speak. The only word he can get out is “More…”

You kiss him again, this time more passionately. You slowly insert your tongue in his mouth, to which he jerks a little before melting into the kiss once again. Eventually, he begins to move his tongue against yours. Sounds heavy breathing fills the room.

Breaking from your kiss, you begin to kiss his jaw, then neck. Choso whimpers at the feeling. He lets out a hitched breath as you feel his pants tighten beneath you. 

“Hahh, wha-” Choso pants.

You stop doing what you were doing. “What’s wrong?”

“I feel… weird down there,” he says, “It hurts.” You chuckle softly, “Oh, honey, you have a boner…”

“A what?” “A boner. It’s completely natural. It happens when you’re aroused.” “Aroused…” he repeats as though the word is foreign to his tongue.

“Sexually excited,” you explain further, causing a blush to creep up his pale cheeks.

You return to your previous position of kissing him, trailing your kisses from his jaw to his neck as you tug on the hem of his shirt. He lifts himself up as you take his shirt off and trail your kisses down to his torso. His breath shifts from being fast to being heavy. 

As your mouth reaches the top of his happy trail, you look up to him and touch his crotch over his pants.

“Ngh,” he whimpers, “It hurts…”

“Yeah?” you coo, “I can fix that.”

You unbuckle his pants, sliding it down to the floor as you stare at him sitting with only his boxers. You rub his cock through his pants, making him moan needily. 

“Can I take these off?” you ask, hooking your fingers on the waistband of his boxers. He nods frantically.

The moment the boxers come off, you are surprised at how big he is. You take his cock, needing both your hands to jerk him off. His head falls back on the couch as he moans at your touch. You finally put him in your mouth. 

“Ohh yeah yes mmm,” he moans as you bob your head, letting his tip hit against the back of your throat. “Y/N… so good… right there yeah yeahh.”

Before you know it, he shoots his cum inside your mouth. You swallow and look up at him with a smile. “Feel better?”

He looks down at you with a mixture of surprise, confusion, and satisfaction. “What was that?”

“That was an orgasm. You just came.”

He is still panting. “That felt amazing.”

You chuckle. “I’m glad it did.” You straddle him again, your lips meeting his in an even more passionate kiss. This time, you moan into his mouth. His hand rakes over your body, sliding under your shirt as you hum.

“Can I take this off?” he asks and you nod in reply. You raise your arms as he takes off your shirt and reveals your bra-clad torso. He trails his fingers along the line of your lace bra. “Pretty,” he mutters before unclasping the hook to expose your perky tits. He reaches to grab them, his thumb flicks your nipples and you stifle a moan, your arousal pooling in your panties.

“Fuck, Cho… I need you…” you manage to say.

“Can I do the same to you?” he asks, sounding a little unsure of what he’s saying. “The thing you did to me?”

You don't waste a moment to breath out, “Yes, please.”

You lay on your back on the couch as he follows your path by kissing your jaw, then neck, finally reaching your tits as he sucks on your nipples, making you let out a soft moan, the sound music to Choso’s ears. He mimics your work as his mouth wanders down to your stomach, right above the waistband of your shorts. 

“Can I open this?” he asks. You lift your hips up in response and he slides your shorts down to reveal your lace panties, already wet from desperation. He slowly touches the wet patch, making you groan. He slides your panties off and the only way you’d describe the way you spread your legs is pathetic.

He takes a deep breath as your pussy comes into display, his eyes intensely observing every inch of your exposed body. He reaches his hand to touch your pussy lips.

You guide his fingers to your engorged clit. “Here… touch me here, please,” you pant out. “That’s the clit, the most sensitive part of female genitalia.”

He rubs slow circles on your clit, your eyes rolling back in response. “The clit,” he repeats. 

“Ngh, fuck, yes, baby,” you moan out. Inserting two fingers into yourself, you show Choso how to finger someone. Choso replicates your actions with two fingers while his thumb focuses on your clit. 

With that move, you absolutely lose your mind. Your eyes roll back and you let out a long moan, arching your back. “Yes, fuck yes, baby, keep going ahh ahh just like that mmmm fuck yeah yeah.”

He positions his head between your legs, his warm breath hits against your pussy before he starts nibbling at your clit while his two fingers hit your g-spot. You let out even louder moans, losing yourself into blissful pleasure you never want to return from, never want to be found again. 

You feel yourself tighten, the familiar anticipation rushing through your body before you let it all go with a loud moan. Choso sits up, his eyes raking over your glistening pussy with utter fascination as you look up at him panting. 

“Was it okay?” his nervous voice speaks.

You take a few breaths to collect yourself before answering. “That was amazing, baby.” He blushes in response. You notice his bulge again. “Cho, are you hard again?”

He looks down in embarrassment. “Oh, uhm– yeah.”

You crawl up to him and straddle his thighs which makes his breath hitch once again. You remove a few strands of hair from his face and cup his cheeks. “Do you trust me?” you ask him.

He doesn’t waste a breath. “Yes.”

You take his cock from beneath you and rub it before slowly inserting it in your pussy. The face Choso makes at that sensation can only be described as euphoric. “Are you okay?” you ask.

“Yes,” he breathes out desperately, “Yes, yes, please keep going.” With permission, you fully insert him inside of you, feeling a bulge inside your stomach. 

“Oh, fuck, you’re so big mmm,” you gasp out. “Can I move?” Choso nods and you begin to bounce slowly, gradually building up your pace. Every bounce, every thrust takes you both to the twilight zone. The sounds of pleasure echoes through the whole room.

“Oh, I’m close,” Choso says. You reach down to rub your clit to stimulate yourself. His eyes widen as he sees you do that and reaches his hand to pleasure you instead. It doesn’t take long for the both of you to spill out your cum. 

You get off him and lay on your back against the couch, panting heavily. Choso relaxes onto the couch with his head leaned against it. He looks between your spread legs, taking in the sight of his juices coming out of your pussy. 

“Are you okay?” you ask once again.

“Never been better.” 

A/N: Not me writing this while never having held hands romantically (I've never even had a talking stage).

The sky cried for them, its tears falling in unrelenting streams, soaking the earth. Cold, unmoving, their bodies were no longer their own. The rain whispered against their skin, tracing the stitches that bound their foreheads—a mockery of their once-proud existence, now defiled by others’ hands. It dripped on the grey asphalt, mingling with the dried blood and the dirt, weaving sorrow into the fabric of the air. The rain did not cleanse; it eroded.

(The strongest died with his eyes still open, but he couldn’t see anything anymore.)

Gojo’s body was cold, his skin pallid like porcelain shattered and hastily glued back together. His big blue eyes, hidden beneath lids that would never open again, had once seen everything, grasped the infinite. Now, that limitless was shut by the cruelty of a world that had always demanded too much from him. Threads wove across his face, a visceral mark of the man he was no longer. The weight of the rain traced the lines of his jaw, pressed upon his chest, and the cold crept in as if to claim him entirely, drop by drop, plic, plic, plic.

It seems the void had finally reached Satoru.

Far from him, Geto’s body laid in shadow, missing from the narrative, equally silent, equally lost. Suguru had been snatched from the earth, perhaps entombed in some forsaken corner, still bearing the weight of a cursed love. His once warm, knowing smile was twisted in a way that felt wrong, stitched up by hands that didn’t know how to shape his suffering. His body had forgotten how to feel. He had fought for something once, something that fluttered like fragile wings, only to watch it wither. The same black stitches crept over his brow, crossing the lines of his face.

There was no peace, no quiet resolution. Only the earth beneath them that accepted their weight with indifference.

In another universe, perhaps they would have found peace. In another universe, perhaps they would have laughed about the absurdity of it all. They would have walked shoulder to shoulder, they would have tasted the salt of shared tears, spared one another the agony of what was to come. In another universe, they wouldn’t have had to die like this—alone, their bodies repurposed.

But in this one, they were cursed.

(And hope hanged itself in that instant.)

The rain did not relent. It washed away nothing but left behind the stark truth: they were no longer saviors, no longer gods. The water soaked through their clothes, binding them together in death, but there was no warmth. They were remnants of a world that had moved on, bodies violated by forces they could not resist, puppeteered by unseen hands even after their souls had departed. Their bones weren't allowed to crumble into the earth with grace, to be mourned, to fade away like normal men.

Regret hovered above them, bitter and thick, clinging in the air like smoke. It lingered, as if the world itself could not decide whether to mourn or forget. The scars of their betrayal—by the world, by each other, by themselves—ran deeper than the stitches on their skin, of the love twisted into something unrecognizable. They had once been so much more than this, but in the end, they were corpses. Dead, but not allowed to die. Even in death, they were never their own. Empty, used, discarded. Was this what it meant to be strong?

(Strength was a lonely thing.)

Wherever Suguru’s remains lay, they were forever connected to Satoru’s—two souls intertwined even in absence, caught in a dance of grief and longing. The earth, soaked in sorrow, became their rained graves.

The stitches they share would remain long after their bodies decayed. At least now, in death, they were closer than ever before.

The water fell, and it seemed as though it would never stop.

this was a slight breakdown a few days after seeing a lot of gojo's heartbreaking artworks—i was actually going to post it like 2 am while drugged with sleep. i plan to either delete it and pretend it never happened or post it on ao3. for all that matters, i know gojo didn’t have a proper funeral in the manga, and that he isn’t actually buried or anything like that. i confess that i haven’t finished the manga, so i had to do some research to find out that geto’s body is gone—beforehand, i just had the idea to talk about their corpses. since it’s all a matter of context, i hope you don’t mind the poetic license i took. see what i refer to as “earth” as a metaphor for death and “rain” as something like their connection/friendship, or as anything else you choose. all of this is quite hypothetical. this isn’t necessarily a romantic matter, but feel free to interpret it however you wish. i hope you liked it! also, english isn’t my first language, so i’m sorry for any possible mistakes. please like or repost if you enjoyed, it means the world <3

how is this so accurate???? i feel called out about gojo and my obsession with other white-haired characters ahhhhhhh

(hi megumi, nanami, choso, and sukuna)

Calling out jjk simps

Well hello everyone, this has to be the most random post I've made but here's the things I've noticed about each jjk simp.

Aot version here

Disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and shouldn't be taken to heart, what I say is meant to be taken as a joke and not offend anyone.

Yuuji simps: You guys are just like him a ball of sunshine, honestly most optimistic people ever and full of energy but also very delusional, like come on we all know there won't be a happy ending in this one, I know you hope there will be but you have to come to terms with it someday. You know every Britney song by heart.

Megumi simps: In a world where everyone wants his father you choose him (or you want both, I won't judge), either you guys have the same fuck my life energy or you're actually friendly and kind, it's the fucked up hair isn't it? Also you spend longer than you should imagining what it would be like to walk his dogs with him or playing fetch with them. MCR Stan.

Nanami simps: You guys have taste, either you have your life together or it's complete chaos but you crave stability. Daddy issues, but you actually know what's good for you, pretty sure you'd want him to be a stay at home husband. If you're a manga reader I'm sorry, I won't roast you you actually make good decisions.

Toji simps: DADDY ISSUES, but you're also self distractive. Everything about him screams run but y'all ignore every red flag just because he's a badass dilf, he'd scam you out of every cent you own, he'd probably lose your house gambling and you'd still do anything for him, you deserve better. He's hella hot tho same. Also you scare me and every time I open tik tok it gets worse

Sukuna simps: ISSUES, straight up, y'all possessive as fuck, you probably change your appearance and rebrand yourself every week. If toji simps ignore red flags you're colour blind. You don't want him to change for you, you like him just the way he is, murderous with 4 arms and all. You get upset when someone says "he's yuuji with tattoos". Addictive personality. You like degrading others, but you wanna be degraded. You probably simp for someone else junichi suwabe voices.

Gojo simps: Lord have mercy, nothing actually gives you serotonin as much as gojo taking his blindfold off and saying domain expansion. I just know you want him to beat you up like you were jogo. No, you can't fix him, btw how's your obsession with white haired characters going? we both know he ain't the only one. The only music you listen to is labelled 'a gojo satoru playlist' or 'god complex playlist'.

Geto simps: honestly, I really like you you're the chillest, y'all pretty and not over the top also you keep quiet a lot WHERE ARE YOU ALL GETO SIMPS HAVE MY HEART. Firm believer that the back is the sexiest part of the body for obvious reasons, you're a - ok being called a monkey, anything for master geto.

Choso simps: I actually lied before, you're the chillest of all, another group that knows what's healthy for you, he'd treat you right, I can't roast you. Probably goth fashion, either stoner rock or metal enjoyer.

Naoya simps: I KNOW THIS ISNT YOU, LOOK AT ME, YOURE BETTER THAN THIS, I KNOW YOU THE REAL YOU.