Juliet O'hara - Tumblr Posts
I love Scary Sherry because I love how it gives us a first glimpse of Juliet as kind of insane and rather than Shawn being like damn she's not just the hot cop I flirt with anymore he's like omg. she's crazy that's even HOTTER
psych fic recommendations (either spoiler free or don't spoil past season 5):
when lassie was fighting with juliet about the detective test and shawn was just like "oh the DET? yeah i took that when i was 15. i got 100"
Lassie: "I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy." I would. Pussy.
Shawn: "I’m not gonna sink to their level." I will. Coward.
Jules: "I’m the bigger person." I’m 152 centimetres tall. Give me the gun. Bitch.
Psych 🍍 + text posts
Psych incorrect quotes: a series (cont. 🔥🪦👁️)
—————
Shawn: You can punch me, kick me, pull my hair.
Shawn: I am a-ok being stabbed.
Shawn: Biting and scratching are on the table.
Shawn: You can use fire.
Juliet: These are the ground rules?
Lassiter: Is there anything off limits?
Shawn: Damnnnnn Lassie
Shawn: You got something really sick you wanna do, huh?
———
Gus: We never should’ve come here.
Shawn: No guts, no glory.
Gus: Are you ever scared of anything?
Shawn: Yeah, dying alone.
Shawn: That’s why I brought you here with me.
———
Shawn: I don’t have rizz.
Shawn: I have big green eyes
Shawn: and many
Shawn: MANY
Shawn: unsettling things to say.
Very long rant about ads under here, big vent moment bc I'm gonna fucking commit crimes, also there's a poll if your interested
Yo I'm just saying if peacock doesn't stop playing 2 minutes of ads every 5 minutes when I'm trying to watch psych I'm going to fucking implode and commit unspeakable crimes. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY THIS FUCKING MUCH JUST TO WATCH PSYCH. LIKE ITS LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON I USE PEACOCK. LIKE I DONT WANNA FUCKING BE SOLD SHIT IM WATCHING
MY FUCKING SHOW
WHY THE FRESH DIDDLY
FUCK
Am I getting 6 ad breaks
FOR A T H I R T Y MINUTE EPISODE
Like I'm at a point where I can't even watch it bc the ads interrupting so much make me so enraged. Maybe I need therapy, but fuck it can't just be me. And like I wouldn't be as mad if it was before and after.
BUT AN AD BREAK AFTER LITERALLY ANYTHING HAPPENS??????
Idk maybe I'm just fucking insane
WHY TF AM I SO MAD THAT JULES BROKE UP WITH SHAWN BECAUSE OF THE PSYCHIC THING!? LIKE HO PLS WE BOTH KNOW THAT'S REALLY IMPOSSIBLE AND AFJFJFJEKDJKDKFKFLSLFJSLSK HOW DID IT EVEN AFFECT THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO THAT DEGREE? YES I KNOW HE LIED THAT'S BAD BUT DANG WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVE? AT THIS POINT LOVE MEANS NOTHING RIGHT? I DON'T EVEN THINK THE LIE WAS THAT BAD CUZ BE BFFR OR AM I JUST A HATER? SORRY THIS WAS NOT SO GIRLBOSS OR GIRL'S GIRL FOR ME TO SAY BUT I DO NOT THINK IT WAS THAT DEEP. SHE THREW AWAY A MAN SHE CLEARLY VERY MUCH LOVED BECAUSE SHAWN WAS DISHONEST ABOUT ONE THING WHEN HER LYING FATHER HAD LEFT HER AS A CHILD AND NOW SHE PROJECTS HER TRAUMA IN HER RELATIONSHIPS AND omg was the daddy issues that bad? ANYWAYS I WOULD'VE TOTALLY UNDERSTOOD HER IF SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM IF HE ACTED EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE OR EMOTIONALLY DISTANT BUT NO SHE BROKE UP BECAUSE HE LIED ABOUT BEING FRICKIN PSYCHIC BUT HONESTLY WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS AND EVERYONE KNEW-
I will shut up now before I get cancelled and yeah thank you guys for reading this rant.
Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end
"I`m so happy for you both! What about the earrings tho" shawns version and yes they come out to their respective besties the same way bc they`re soulmates
Santa Barbara's insanest polycule
Okay hear me out
A Psych Au where the core four swap narrative roles in the story.
Shawn is Gus - After running around the country taking over 30 odd jobs, he comes back to Santa Barbara and ends up getting a cushy job as a pharmaceutical salesman - it pays pretty well, keeps him close to Gus and he's pretty decent at it (it also gives him a company car that he rarely uses because of his motorcycle but don't tell his boss that). Gus ends up accidentally spilling case details to him so he ends up begging Lassie to let him help.
Gus is Jules - He ends up being inspired by Henry and pursues policing (Henry is happy at least somebody took after his example), passing the detective's exam shortly before the show actually starts, getting paired with new transfer Juliet O'Hara. Gus is still a massive nerd but a lot less of a coward than in canon due to the time he's been in the job.
Jules is Lassie - She ended up developing a very rough exterior after working in Miami (considering its crime rate that's fair) and comes off across as rude and unpleasant, that along with her being more deeply affected by 'Frank O'Hara's A+ parenting' causes her to be a lot less pleasant than normal, over time though she mellows out again to being closer to the Jules we know and love.
Lassie is Shawn - He used to be SBPD head detective until some stuff happened and he's no longer on the force as a result. After a little bit though, he can't help sticking his nose in crime scenes - resolving to simply just become a P.I.
I could rant a lot more about this but at the moment I'm just screaming the base idea into the void.
Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end
Juliet: Would you shoot your best friend in the leg for a million dollars?
Shawn, to Gus: You shoot me, and when my leg gets better, we buy a mansion, 12 Ferraris, and a private plane.
Gus: You can shoot me too and then we'd have two million dollars!
Shawn: Good thinking. Fuck the system.
Juliet: Why are you two like this?
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He's Dead! If Shawn had answered truthfully and ended up matched with Lassie
Poor Gus thinks he's gonna lose his job and get arrested
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He's Dead! If Shawn had answered truthfully and ended up matched with Lassie
Poor Gus thinks he's gonna lose his job and get arrested
Hello, tumblr user. Before you is a tumblr post asking you to name a female fictional character. You have unlimited time to tag a female character, NOT a male one.
Begin.
What NOT To Do On A First Date
Summary: Lassiter has a date (finally)
Notes: Welp. Was supposed to be a oneshot. Guess it’s a two-shot now, lmao
Part two of Social Norms and College Dorms
—————
Two stressful hours later and Lassiter had completed his exam. As he packed up his things, Juliet tapped him on the shoulder.
“How do you think you did? Did the notes help?”
“Pretty sure I nailed it thanks to those notes.”
“Good, I’m not sure if Professor Spencer would’ve gone easy on you if you did bad on the exam.” It was true, the man could be a real hardass on students. He’d never let up on anyone, and Lassiter had even heard rumors that the professor held the same standards on his own kid as the students. “Anyway, I saw there was a new coffee place out on 7th street. We could go there?”
“Actually, I’ve already got plans to go there.” The words slipped out before he could even think.
Juliet stopped right there. “Ooo, really? Are you going with someone?” She let out a tiny gasp. “Are you going out with someone?! Who is it? Do I know her? What’s her name?”
Lassiter’s head spun at the rapid-fire questions, and he began to regret opening his mouth. He knew what she would do if she knew he was going on a blind date. Well, not exactly blind date, per se. He knew what he looked like. Along with one fact about him, which was that he smoked weed. But it was thanks to that that Shawn had found his way to Lassiter’s dorm, consequently leading to this date. So he guessed that maybe weed wasn’t all that bad. In certain circumstances.
Then the meaning of exactly what Juliet had said hit him. She’d said ‘her’. Her name. Not ‘his’, not even ‘their’. Her.
That’s when he realized he’d never told her he was pansexual. He could’ve sworn she was the only person other than his mothers that knew. But apparently not. He must have dreamed of their conversation about his sexuality or something.
Lassiter realized Juliet was looking at him expectantly, and remembered that she’d asked him several questions. For the first time in a while, he was at a loss for words. How would he explain to her that he was meeting up with another guy? Should he lie and make something up? Did he even really want to tell her? But he couldn’t just say nothing, that would be rude to do to his only friend (he may not know much about social etiquette, but telling a friend to buzz off when they’re being genuinely curious was one thing he knew not to do).
“Well, if you must know. I am going on a date-”
“Oh my gosh Carlton, that's great! I’m so happy for you!”
He smiled awkwardly at the praise. “Eheh, thank you, uhm. And no, you wouldn’t know… her. She’s… Lauren’s… friend?”
If Juliet had noticed the hesitancy in Lassiter’s voice, she didn’t give any indication. “Well, I’m really happy for you. I hope it goes smoothly.”
A small genuine grin formed. “Yeah, thanks-”
“Oh! A word of advice:” She motioned him a little closer when she said her next sentence. Under her breath, she said, “try not to bring up the dead clown story. I know you think it’s funny-”
“It is funny!” He tried to defend himself.
“But the last time you did that I had to pick you up from a restaurant fifteen miles from campus because your date left you.”
Lassiter opened and closed his mouth. Juliet wasn’t wrong. He had in fact waited and waited patiently at the table for his date to come back from the bathroom, eager to continue in the telling of his favorite story. Lassiter had acquired it by being in, what he would consider, the right place at the right time. He couldn’t fathom why some people who were standing nearby had to consult with an on-site therapist (who was most likely there for the children that would be scared of the circus performers).
Anyways, they were getting off track.
“Just remember to be yourself, okay?”
———
Lassiter sat nervously at the tiny booth, hand subconsciously reaching to the back of his head to tug at a clump of hair. The moment he touched the nape of his neck he drew his hand back, silently reprimanding himself. He really needed to stop doing that before it became a habit. Hell, it was already becoming one.
He settled for grabbing a stray pencil from his bag and twirling it in his fingers. It didn’t have the same satisfactory effect as tugging his hair did, but it would do for now.
Lassiter checked his watch. 12:07. Shawn was late. ‘It’s fine, it’s just seven minutes. Maybe he’s caught up in something else and that’s why he’s running late. Yeah, yeah that’s it.’
It didn’t do much to calm his nerves. He started twirling the pencil faster, and his foot began to tap on the wooden floor. He should probably take this time to study. Yeah, that was a good idea. He set the pencil back down and reached into his bag once more, this time grabbing a small set of notes dedicated to psychology. He had a test later that day, but not one that was as important as the Criminology exam he finished not long ago. It would only be a simple quiz reviewing the content of what they’d learned over the past couple of weeks.
But he couldn’t focus on any of it, his mind constantly wandering to the guy he was supposed to be meeting with. He looked back down at his watch. 12:19. Okay, whoever this Shawn guy was must’ve been a dick. Because who makes someone wait this long?
‘Calm down. Just wait a little longer. He could still show up.’ Even as he reassured himself, he could feel his hope dwindling, an uncomfortable feeling of chagrin taking its place bit by bit.
12:24 now. Lassiter couldn’t take it any more. He’d been stood up, plain and simple. He shoved the pencil he’d been fiddling with and the notes he’d been trying to study into his bag once more. Slinging the straps over his shoulders, prepared to leave, quickly stepping out of the booth and rounding the corner-
BAM
“Oof!”
Lassiter collided into another person, hard. It was with such force that it caused the both of them to tumble onto the floor. He held his forehead in pain. He’d hit something with it, something big and slightly pokey. Without even thinking, he began to say, “Hey, watch where you’re-!” when he saw who he’d run into. It was Shawn, the guy Lassiter had been waiting for nearly half an hour to show up.
But before he could begin to feel anger at Shawn, he noticed how he was clutching his nose. He must have hit it with his forehead during their collision not but a few seconds ago.
“Ow! Fuck- oh yeah, that stings. Shit shit shit…”
Well, that was one way to make a helluva first impression.
———
Lassiter was once again sat in a chair, nervously tapping his foot and grabbing at his hair. He didn’t try to stop it, letting the hair-tugging happen to try and calm down somewhat.
“-just remember to keep that on for a month, and then come back and we’ll take it off for you.”
“Alright, thanks!”
Looking up, he saw Shawn walk into the waiting room, a large and very obvious cast covering his nose.
Without missing a beat Lassiter leapt out of his chair and over to Shawn, quickly closing the distance between them. “Are you good? I didn’t hit you too hard, did I? I can pay for the bill, it’s my fault-”
“Woah woah woah, chill! It’s no biggie. I’m still on my dad’s health insurance so I just used that. And it was a clean break, so it should heal just fine.”
Lassiter breathed out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness, he didn’t know if he’d actually be able to pay for the medical bill. He had no clue how much it would’ve even added up to. “Okay, good. That’s good.” He then realized he should probably apologize for, well, breaking the guy’s nose. “Hey, look. I’m sorry about running into you and breaking your nose. I thought you weren’t gonna come and that you’d stood me up- not that I didn’t- you were taking a while, so I just- I mean, if you’d been in my shoes-”
Lassiter was stopped in his rambling by the feeling of Shawn’s lips pressing against his own. They tingled with electricity. He closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. It was unlike any other he’d had, and he’d been kissed a lot.
He felt Shawn slowly draw back. He opened his eyes again and saw that he had a stupid grin on his face. “You were rambling.”
Lassiter didn’t say anything. His brain was on autopilot, so he blurted out “Did you know I once saw a clown die?”
Shawn stood there for a moment, processing what he’d said.
‘Oh no, why did I say that. Dammit now he’s looking at me weird. God, I should’ve just listened to-’
His thoughts were interrupted by a burst of laughter from the man in front of him. It sounded a little weird, considering his nose was covered up by a thick cast. “No way! What happened?”
Wait. Someone wanted to listen to the story? He didn't see any signs in Shawn’s body language that said otherwise. “Well, it’s an interesting story…”
———
Lassiter didn’t think twice before unlocking Juliet’s dorm room with a spare key she’d gifted him and flopping on one of her bean bag chairs, a dopey grin plastered on his face.
Somewhere from the tall bed above him, she poked her head out. “Good date?”
Good? That would be an understatement. Despite the rough start, he’d had an amazing time with Shawn. Once they’d left the hospital they decided it would be better to visit the arcade. Actually, that had been Shawn’s idea, Lassiter just went along with it. And he was glad he did. Shawn had cheated on a bunch of the games and won a shit ton of tickets. Instead of being cliche and buying a stuffed animal however, Lassiter chose to use the tickets on a giant rainbow slinky — “Just like you!” Shawn had exclaimed — of which was now stuffed safely in his backpack.
Lassiter just kept smiling goofily to himself. “Yeah. Really good date. He was great.” They’d already scheduled to meet again at the library the next day. And he couldn’t wait to see him again.
“Wait. He?”
Oh yeah. He never did tell her about that small detail, did he?
———
Ao3 link
psych characters as cat memes
lassiter
juliet
shawn
gus
woody
