Kanej Headcanon - Tumblr Posts
The crows at an amusement part
Nina:
Every five minutes or so, you’ll see her with different food. Popcorn, cotton candy, breadsticks, hotdogs
Wait till she finds the waffle stand
“THESE ARE SO GOOD THIS IS THE BEST OMG I NEED MORE SOMEONE BUY ME MORE PLEASE I NEED IT IT IS MY DRUGGl”
Her hands are full with food
I feel that she’s that type to wear the merchandise
Takes a lot of pictures and it annoys Matthias and Kaz
“OH MY GOD MATTHIAS TAKE A PICTURE OF ME HERE” *poses*
“AND HERE!” *poses*
She loves roller-coasters or any ride that involves heights but she screams as if she was burning in hell
Money-spending spree for her
She likes winning prizes in one of those mini-games and if she doesn’t win she does it again and again and again
She updates her Instagram every ten minutes or so
Wylan:
Balloon collector??
He likes going on the carousel ride with Jesper
Wylan dragged Kaz into it too
He’s literally having the time of his life on the carousel
He HATES those big, tall rides but:
“Cmon Wylann don’t be a chicken” says Nina
“But-“
“CHICKEN”
“...fine”
He shuts his eyes tightly every drop and clings on tight to Jesper
He also likes to spend his money on unnecessary merch. He’s rich so who cares
Kaz
Not sure why he came but he’s here anyway
A little kid thought that he was one of the cosplayers there:
“Mummy look! A villain!”
“WTF?”
Inej gives him the hoho-u-better-shut-ur-mouth look
yea he’s morally grey 🙄
As we know, since Wylan managed to drag him on the carousel, as he’s riding it Nina and Inej laugh their ass off and Nina takes pictures of him
He glares.
Like ok imagine this:
Instead of look upfront he looks to the side of the people watching, and gives the kazzle dazzle glare. ✨DEATH glare✨
Hah and you thought they stopped taking pictures. They kept doing it
He stole “something” from “somewhere”(as he says)
On the roller coaster ride he sits next to Inej.
He won’t admit that he was terrified of the drop, he didn’t scream but he held on to Inej’s hand tightly
He carries the map around
On one of the mini-games, he won a crow plushie and gave it to Inej
Inej
She had a great time
most of her time is spent next to Nina
She pays for everyone’s meals. She’s seen with a breadstick, nothing else.
Inej managed to sneak into the front row in the line
She LOVES the big, tall rides. She isn’t scared of it. She deals with heights anyway as the Wraith
I feel like Inej likes the attraction rides. She points out to the decorations.
“AWW I LOVE THISS”
Inej and Jesper compete in one of the mini-games. It gets super intense.
She wins almost all the time but Jesper insists on a rematch.
At some point, Inej let’s him win
Inej bought them all merchandise
Jesper
He’s dressed, top to bottom, in merchandise.
The hat, the shirt, the pants, his sandals. All from his last visit
Both him and Nina are stocking up on food
His hands are filled with balloons, food, shopping bags
As they were queuing for the roller coaster, “if I die and either of y’all survive, make sure I have an open casket”
“Jesper you little sh-“
He screamed really loud on the roller coaster and after that, he dramatically ‘fell’ because he was ‘dizzy’
I suppose he rode all the rides there is in that amusement park but he likes the chaotic rides the most
He, Wylan, Nina and Matthias does face painting. Not like Matthias had a choice
On one of the performance, Jesper managed to steal the show and all eyes on him
“What is Jesper doing up there- OH MY GOD”
Matthias
I feel like both Matthias and Kaz spent the most time together. In silence. Sitting on the bench, waiting
He prefers the calmer rides like the boat ones. Little does he know that boat rides aren’t calm
He loves the attraction rides. He finds them fascinating. One of the attractions were about Fjerda and guess who complained
“What the- this doesn’t look remotely close to Fjerda! What is this? I’ve never seen that? Is that suppose to be a wolf? That looks like a dog!”
“Drüskelle. Calm. Down. Shut. Up. No. One. Cares. ”
He takes a lot of pictures of Nina. Pretends he hates it though. Something about keeping many picture of Nina gives him joy
Nina forced him to wear a lousy looking T-shirt that says ‘MAGIC IS REAL!” that she got for him in one of these shops
He gets a slushee I suppose. The ice reminds him of home
“Now that was fun innit?” Jesper says as they walk out. “Where are we going tomorrow?”
Imagine if you will:
Years post Crooked Kingdom, Kaz and Inej are married. One day, Inej brings up the possibility of children. Instead of immediately shutting her down like she expected, Kaz agrees. But instead of having kids biologically, he has another plan.
That night they walk the streets of Ketterdam, and they find the children that have lost parents, that are sleeping in the streets, that spend their days searching for work so they can survive.
They offer the children a hot meal, somewhere safe to sleep. Inej can take them away on her ship if they want, back to their home country, or wherever else they want to go. Or, if they don't have anywhere, they can stay.
Kaz teaches those who stay how to pick locks, and how to find good paying (if less than honest) work. Inej teaches them how to climb and where to walk in the city to stay safe from slavers. Together they teach the children to fight.
They spend weeks on The Wraith all together, freeing the enslaved and travelling the world. There are mass sleepovers at the Van Eck mansion, where Uncle Jesper tells stories of the time their parents broke into the ice court, when they took down the biggest Barrel boss (before the biggest boss was Dad, of course) and Uncle Wylan teaches them how to play music.
They travel to Ravka, where they meet the King, who they can't quite believe once struck a deal with their father. They train with Aunt Nina, who tells them about the fjerdan soldier who gave his life to save her, and shows them her unique power.
Then one day, when their oldest children come to Kaz and ask why they were adopted. He'll tell the story of Uncle Jordie, and how Kaz knew he couldn't watch from the sidelines as the same thing happened to other children, now that he had the power to help.
kanej rant bc i felt likt it and what else do i have to do
every touch would ahve meaning. every. single. touch. even when people think it doesnt, like (jsut casual-gang-people thing) they both feel it reverbrating inside their souls, how lucky they are to have this.
inej would slowly start visiting more and more and eventually (like whar 35-ish) she'll jsut stay. wylan and jesper figure that smth musthave happened, but its not until she comes to stay at their mansion do they actually realise the ring. the. ring. jesper is secretly mad about not best-manning and stuff, but inej comments that they havent had a proper ceremony yet. and one day kaz asks jesper njfekojmerflz and . kaz thinks abput getting married in a church but she smiles and tells him that she could never have a man of so little faith say vows in a holy place. so its on a ship. nina visits. kaz- during his vows- jsut says 'its always been you, 'nej.' and ofc he wouldnt sdo proper vows theyve already told each otehr how much they loved eachoth, etc. etc. and they kiss shyly. first public kiss EVER. though they can kiss in private, its been a lot of time- but still yk. wow this is incoherent
ok but??? this is so interesting and deserves to be explored on a deeper level. it is technically canon that kaz always knows when inej is there. "once he had seen her it was like he'd been able to keep seeing her" right? but then again isn't the Orpheus myth literally just about love and how no matter how much reassurance you feel you need to see for your own that the love of your heart is okay? and doesn't this exact thing betray him at the end of soc and van eck kidnaps her because of that one tiny flick which was basically his body's intuition always looking for her.
I fear that Kaz Brekker, much like Orpheus before him, would be unable to stop himself from looking back to see that Inej was alright
This is gonna be rushed but...
Inej and kaz getting married and they into the carriage and then Inej noticed there not heading back to Kerttdam but to lji and kaz brings her to his childhood home where they now live as inej and kaz rievtvelds and have a child named either alina or some reason the name sasha comes to my mind or jordie If kaz would be comfort with it if not I think they would name him Matthias and the two of them are just deeply in love and spend the rest of their lives happy ....
Would this happen 100% no but let me just dream this is so sweet
Kanej Headcanons
Let me be clear, these are headcanons for once they've both done a lot of healing
Because there's a lot of physical closeness here
Inej loves to just plop herself down on Kaz's good leg and let him rest his chin on the top of her head
Kaz is secretly going mad with joy every time she does, but he tries to play it cool
He has so many pet names for her, but his favorite thing to call her is treasure
You might think Kaz is the more protective one, but it's actually Inej
She gets very upset when he faces ableism and will threaten to give others a bad leg to match his
He thinks it's the sweetest thing ever
"I am a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man, but I still want my husband to wrap me up in blankets after a hard day and cuddle me and kiss my face while he hand feeds me." -Inej Ghafa
Oh did I mention they're married?
They probably had two weddings, one in Kerch and one in Ravka
Kaz probably likes giving Inej expensive gifts that she says she doesn't need
He also likes to have her lay on his chest when they go to sleep at night
Her weight is comforting
Every day he tells her that she's his queen