Nikolai Lanstov - Tumblr Posts

adventure, danger, MONEY - thats the sturmhond I know

anyone else write loads of self indulgent fanfictions that will live in your saved files/google drive for years ? I’m looking through everything & there’s these whole novella / novels I wrote just for myself & will likely stay there forever and ever. please someone relate to this I’d like to know it’s not me

PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS ALINA PUNCHING NIKOLAI I NEED TO SEE IT

can I ask for a Tamar x reader where she is the healer in Sturmhond's crew, she and Tamar pretend to be "just friends" but for once the reader gets injured during a fight and Tamar is terrified of losing her and her first thing he does when the reader wakes up is kiss her

I better live so I can make fun of her for this

Tamar x f!Grisha Reader

Wordcount: ~1.5k

Warnings: descriptions of injury, discussions of death

A/N: Thank you for the request! I loved writing this

Summary: Y/n's always been certain she's someone who lives with no regrets, but she finds herself begging the Saints for a second chance, begging whoever’s up there to give her another shot. 

I’m fine with the situation - or I think I am. It’s easier this way, less complicated, and we can avoid unnecessary comments and conflicts. At the same time, it’s difficult to ‘act normal’ about everything when half of the time all I want to do is hold her hand, or give her a hug that lasts a few seconds too long. I’m not sure if she feels the same, I hope she does. I know it’s not a ‘friends with benefits’ situation, more of a ‘secret relationship.’ It feels cheesy, like something out of a romance novel. 

I’m working with one of the deckhands, checking in on an old injury. He’s distracted by something and I sneak a glance over to Tamar, she’s sparring with someone. I hold back a chuckle as he’s flipped right on his ass. Nobody lasts long against her. I turn back to the sailor. “You’re all set.” 

He thanks me and hops up off the crate, heading over to discuss something with one of his friends. I take over his seat and tilt my head back, closing my eyes so the sun can soak into my skin. ‘Maybe it’ll bring out my freckles some more.’ I think to myself. 

The wood next to me creaks, and I peek one eye open to check. Tamar’s sitting next to me. 

“You made easy work of him.” I tell her, mentioning the sailor she sparred with earlier. 

“Always happy to knock someone's egos down a few pegs.” She grins

I chuckle and turn to her. “Just have mercy on me.” 

She rolls her eyes. “You can hold your own.” 

“Not against you.” I mumble. That’s a sore point for me - after a year on board I haven’t been able to win against her. We tied once and I hold onto that like a grand victory. 

“You’ll get there one day” she nudges me with her shoulder. 

“I hope you’re ready for it.” 

She hums, turning her head up to meet the sun, I copy her and we sit in peaceful silence.. 

–

The pain shocks me, jolts me. I scream as I fall, a bullet hitting my chest - slightly to the left of my heart. I feel myself weakening, feel the blood dripping from me. I wiggle so my back is leaning against a crate, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself. 

“The bleeding.” I mutter to myself, “stop the bleeding. Keep the heart going.” I’m doing my best to use my powers on myself but it’s not quick enough. The fight is over, I hear the howls and cheers going up, the gunfire and clash of swords are gone. 

“TAMAR” I scream, seeing her just ahead of me, her back turned. Quick as lightning she’s sprinting to my side. She falls to her knees in front of me. I watch her eyes assess the situation. 

“Bullet.” I tell her, and point to the exact spot it hit. I take more deep breaths, trying to keep my calm, to keep myself centered - it’s not working but I feel her powers working, I’m grateful for the lessons I gave her - she picked up on healing quickly. I let a small smile drift across my face, I’m proud of her. 

“TOLYA.” I hear her scream - it sounds distant. I keep blinking my eyes, and keep fighting to stay awake. 

“Stay awake, love.” She whispers, her hands over my heart, working to try and heal it. I hear Tolya dropping to the other side, starting to work in tandem with his sister. It’s strange being healed - instead of doing the healing. 

“Hey.” I whisper, her eyes dart up towards me. “I love you.” I say, black spots start appearing around my eyes, I close them - squinting as hard as I can, I feel the tears start to leak from the corners of my eyes. If I’m dying - I'll do it with one less regret on my chest. I’m ready to accept it, to let myself be welcomed home, but before I can I hear her scream. I know I'm not awake but it pushes something forward in me, like a small tug to keep going - to try and fight. My soul is hovering - waiting, hoping for a body to go home to. 

–

There’s days where I think I know how important something is to me, how much it means, how much I'm willing to risk, and then something happens to change my entire perspective on it. 

I’ve never felt more helpless in my life. I’m out of my body - watching her cry over me. I can’t feel it, but I can see how pale and clammy my skin is. Whatever version of me I'm in right now, I still feel the ache -. I can’t feel the pain I know my physical body is in, but I can feel the heartbreak, see the devastation my injury is bringing. I know it's not my fault at all, but I’m a healer - I hate not being able to fix it, not being able to mend my broken self. Having to put my faith in others. I have faith in Tamar. I’ve always been certain I'm someone who lives with no regrets, but I'm finding myself begging the Saints for a second chance, begging whoever’s up there to give me another shot. 

The week passes by in glimpses, small dashes out of my body, watching Tolya and Tamar work constantly to keep my heart beating, to keep my blood flowing. I can see their concern and fear, but I also see their determination. If there’s any chance at me surviving - I know these two will make it happen. This version of me feels empty - I don’t have my powers. I can’t sense my own heart rate, I can’t detect blood pressure, or respiration rates, I never realized how big of a part of me my powers are. 

–

She’s singing, I realize. Sitting next to my bed and singing. Some kind of shu ballad I know she barely remembers. My out of body self starts laughing. ‘I better live so I can make fun of her for this.’ She really should leave the poetry to Tolya. But I don’t mind her singing to me, maybe I’ll convince her to do it more often. She has a nice voice - for a mercenary. 

She pauses for a moment, squeezing my hand. “I can’t lose you y/n.” I see tears swell in her eyes and have to look away. I’ve never seen her cry, Tamar’s never cried in front of me. 

–

My eyes blink open, I'm back in my body. Everything feels too bright, too overwhelming, I shut my eyes again, planting my hands firmly down on my sides, trying to push myself up into a sitting position. I groan, the motion making my ribs ache. Someone is at my side in an instant, their arm gently laying me back down. I turn my head, blinking my eyes open again, slowly adjusting to the bright lights. Bronze skin, golden tilted eyes, short dark cropped hair, a beautiful grin on her face - it’s Tamar, the first one I see. Millions of people could be in the room, but at this time, I wouldn’t see anyone else. I reach one of my arms for her, ignoring the pain in my side. She gets the message and leans down. Her hands cup my cheeks gently and she places a soft kiss on my lips. I tug at the back of her neck, trying to bring her in closer, deeper, meld her body in with mine. She just chuckles and pulls back to lean her forehead against mine. 

“You’re still hurt.” Her voice is low, but I can hear the love in it. The gentleness she saves just for me. 

“I’m the healer.” I grumble. “I’m fine.” 

“Excuse me, I’m the healer now. You’re my patient.” My eyes are closed but I can still feel her smile. 

She shifts away from me, and I start to protest but she pulls a chair up next to my cot, holding onto one of my hands. 

“I could see it all.” I tell her. “From above.”

Her eyes widen but she hesitates, like she doesn’t know what to say or how to respond. 

“I don’t want to hide anymore.” I tell her, willing my voice to stay strong. “I want everything with you, I don’t want any regrets.” 

She holds my hand up to her lips, gently turning my wrist to kiss my palm. “You’ll have everything. No more hiding, never again.” 

I break out into a grin that she matches, leaning back down to place another soft kiss on my lips. 

I hear a whistle in the background. Tamar leans up, Sturmhond is leaning against he doorframe. “I can’t say that was completely unexpected. How romantic.” 

“Get out.” Tamar snarls. He moves without hesitation, quietly shutting the door behind him. She turns to me, “where were we?” 

I laugh hard enough that I wince, my ribs aching from the movement.

Imagine if you will:

Years post Crooked Kingdom, Kaz and Inej are married. One day, Inej brings up the possibility of children. Instead of immediately shutting her down like she expected, Kaz agrees. But instead of having kids biologically, he has another plan.

That night they walk the streets of Ketterdam, and they find the children that have lost parents, that are sleeping in the streets, that spend their days searching for work so they can survive.

They offer the children a hot meal, somewhere safe to sleep. Inej can take them away on her ship if they want, back to their home country, or wherever else they want to go. Or, if they don't have anywhere, they can stay.

Kaz teaches those who stay how to pick locks, and how to find good paying (if less than honest) work. Inej teaches them how to climb and where to walk in the city to stay safe from slavers. Together they teach the children to fight.

They spend weeks on The Wraith all together, freeing the enslaved and travelling the world. There are mass sleepovers at the Van Eck mansion, where Uncle Jesper tells stories of the time their parents broke into the ice court, when they took down the biggest Barrel boss (before the biggest boss was Dad, of course) and Uncle Wylan teaches them how to play music.

They travel to Ravka, where they meet the King, who they can't quite believe once struck a deal with their father. They train with Aunt Nina, who tells them about the fjerdan soldier who gave his life to save her, and shows them her unique power.

Then one day, when their oldest children come to Kaz and ask why they were adopted. He'll tell the story of Uncle Jordie, and how Kaz knew he couldn't watch from the sidelines as the same thing happened to other children, now that he had the power to help.

Nikolai: Sorry for calling you with such urgency, but this is a war we can't win alone and we need all the possible help

Alina: Is it the fjerdans? or shu han?

Nikolai: i wish, this is an even bloodier situation. We are playing paintball against Nina´s friends

Mal: What, is that it?

Zoya: You weren't there, you don't know...

Alina: Aren't they like seventeen? And only one of them is grisha. Also, you told me they were just six of them, and all of your team´s number already surpases theirs even if we don't join. That doesn't sounds fair

Zoya: No, is not fair. We need a whole army for those little bastards but all our volunteers chickened out and ran away.

Nikolai: This is kind of their game; they have an strategist, a sneaky one you never see coming, one with perfect aim, one with no cares about the rules so just trows paint bombs, Nina is unpredictable; she sometimes does the puppy dog eyes and sometimes she lifts a hoard of zombies, and then there is the human bait guy that i KNOW is bait (he even has a shirt that says "bait" but somehow i always keep falling for that.

So, apparently Leigh Bardugo has mentioned several times that the SaB Netflix series will be like a fanfiction of the books and if that is true IT BETTER BE A EVERYBODY LIVES/NOBODY DIES TYPE OF FANFIC AND I MEAN THAT FOR ONE CHARACTER AND ONE CHARACTER ONLY, I-

Rule of wolves spoiler

I don't know what y'all thought at this point but I am laughing so hard

This man is so dramatic OMG he tells this shit to everyone HAHAHAHAHA

petition for leigh bardugo to write a novella about nikolai courting zoya, jesper and wylan living together, nina and hanne ruling fjerda, alina and mal raising their hundreds of children, and kaz and inej doing whatever cute shit they’re doing

Okay I am going to say it

✨🥰♥️💞✨🌈✨KANEJ AND ZOYALAI DOUBLE DATE✨🌈🥰😍✨💞

Okay I am going to say it

✨🥰♥️💞✨🌈✨KANEJ AND ZOYALAI DOUBLE DATE✨🌈🥰😍✨💞

Hi could we please get a really angsty fic with nikolai (with a happy ending pls) where reader and he has had a fight so they maintain the facade on the outside bc they're royals but in private it's just ignoring each other/angst?

Young Royals

A/N: ahh, this is angsty alright but it seems I'm only capable of writing hurt/comfort lately. This took a life of its own and it's long af but I hope you like it anyway x

Warnings: miscommunication, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Nikolai is a bit absent, you're a bit jealous of his relationship with Zoya

Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @agentsofsheilds , @for-bebbanburg , @randomoutsiders , @pansysgirlfriend , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @story-scribbler , @crowssixof , @odetostep,@lizzie-he4rts, @korol-lantsov, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @gallysonegoodlung, @a-c-lee, @mriddlemethis, @carnationworld,@thanossexual, @luvxginger, @sanna2020,@partiesandblurrypolaroids, @edithsvoice, @wafflesandschemingfaces (tag list form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

"Do not put words into my mouth, Nikolai."

"Please, you already have so many, my love," he scoffed and the use of the term of endearment hurt the most.

"You're making me sound like a brat while I'm providing you with a viable solution," you insisted with a flare of your hands, frustrated by his unwillingness to listen to you.

"No, you're not. What you're doing is being childish."

"I'm your queen, Nikolai. I'm only asking to be more involved."

"You're my wife, y/n, and you know nothing about politics or running a country." He retired, putting emphasis on wife. This felt a lot like being put into place. And the fact that it was your husband doing so, hurt. It was also the most you had seen him this week.

"Neither did Zoya, nor Genya or anyone who's currently running the country."

"That's different and you know it."

"Only because you're making it so," you exclaimed finally exploding. His despondency got on your nerves and this conversation was going nowhere anyway.

Surprised by your raise of voice, Nikolai stood before you just blinking at you.

Sighing, you took a step toward him, holding your hands up, "look, you're right, I don't know about running a country but teach me. I'm not stupid, I'll pick it up."

"Why are you insisting so much? You've never shown any interest in politics before." He gave you a puzzled look like he didn't really believe your intentions.

"I've never wanted to be queen before." before meeting you.

"Ah, I see," he chuckled mirthlessly, "I put you in this situation and now you're taking your revenge."

To insinuate that your marriage with him was you "being put into a situation" rather than a consensual decision you had made out of love was absurd.

Nikolai was right. You had never cared about politics or diplomacy before meeting him. You were a soldier. There was no reason for you to meddle with something that didn't concern you.

But now you were queen and you felt a responsibility towards your people. You wanted to help but so far, Nikolai hadn't allowed you to take part in any meetings. He said that anyone who needed to be there was already involved. What he didn't tell you was that while Grisha made excellent soldiers and even good councillors, one of them being a royal was a very different matter.

He had indulged his love for you by marrying you. You were his vice and he simply couldn't accept the idea of being without you anymore. He had married you, consequently making you queen, going against what his advisors told him.

While he ignored his warnings he was painfully aware, however, how difficult it was going to be for a Grisha on the throne. It was the first time something liked this had ever happened and unfortunately, the country was filled with people who resented Grisha for their powers.

Nikolai feared that the people were never going to accept you. Hence why he'd been keeping you secluded in the palace.

To be fair, you were doing a wonderful job. Like he had pointed out, you were not accustomed to politics but you made up for that with empathy and kindness. You started to interest yourself with the problem of poverty and lack of provisions for some parts of the country.

And while no one was aware of it, Nikolai often turned to you for military strategy. You were an apt soldier and had fought bravely alongside him and everyone else in the battle of the Fold. You were the very reason why he was still alive, to be honest.

While this arrangement worked for the first months of your reign, it was starting to feel an inadequate effort. You needed to do more, you wanted to do more. You didn't expect Nikolai to oppose it so vehemently.

"If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be, Nikolai, you'd do well to remember it," you pointed out coldly, straightening your spine.

"Since you seem so adverse at spending time with me or including me in important matters, I'll find someone else who will." And with that, chin held high, you walked out of the room.

You missed him. It felt absurd to say this but you missed your husband. He was always busy with meetings or official visits to some noble across the country. For most of them, he went alone or with Zoya.

You knew that she was his first in command but you couldn't help but be bothered by it. It was one thing to accept the fact that he hadn't given the role to you "because the queen cannot have that role as well", it was a whole other thing to accept the fact that another woman spent more time with your husband than you did.

Countless were the fights you had with him in this regard. But they were pointless. Nikolai was still set on not bringing you and he and Zoya were always found together.

You didn't know what hurt more. The blow at your pride for being denied a position you deserved because of who you loved, the jealousy or being punished for your identity.

One thing was sure though, it was getting too much. At first, you pulled thought for Nikolai but now that you didn't have him anymore, your efforts seemed to be in vain.

So, like you had told Nikolai, you looked for someone who was willing to teach you. You wanted to help and if Nikolai wasn't going to let you here at the palace, then you'd find somewhere else.

Count Kirigin had always been nice to you and he was a very generous host. You knew that he played a central role in Nikolai's plan so you thought that there was no one better than him.

You reached out to him, wrote him a letter in which you showed interest in his activity and asked him if he was willing to show you. Of course, anything that came from the queen or the king couldn't be denied but you knew that the Count truly enjoyed your company. If your position didn't put so much higher than everybody else, you'd even consider him a friend.

You waited for his reply before putting in motion the preparations for your departure.

In the meantime, you and Nikolai kept conducting your separate lives. Usually, you'd only see him at night when he returned to your chambers if you were still up. Now, you had decided to sleep in separate rooms too.

If he wanted a wife, then a wife he'd get. But kings and queens do not sleep together.

If the new arrangement was bothering him, you didn't know. He hadn't reached out to you nor made any move to rectify your decision.

Turns out that he wasn't even at the Palace. He had left for a mission near the border with Shu Han and wouldn't be back for at least a week. Well, then. Of course, he didn't even bother with telling you. Not even a small note.

Jokes on him though, you thought, since when he was going to come back, he'd finally get what he wanted. You weren't going to be there to bother him anymore.

Differently from him though, you did indeed left him a note. Nikolai found it a week after you had set it on his pillow. Its presence made him furrow his eyebrows since he had already been wondering where you were. You usually came out to meet him at the gates whenever he'd come back from a mission and even though you had fought before he went away, you weren't one for holding grudges. So e guessed there was something holding you.

Unfolding the paper he was met with your familiar chaotic writing.

"I don't know when you're going to find this letter but if I'm not there yet it means that I'm still at Count Kirigin's. Do not bother with writing or visiting, I'll come back when my business with him is done.

Y/n"

What in the name of every sweet loving saint???

The letter wasn't dated, no dear, no yours no nothing. Fuck. You were still mad or worse, hurt.

Asking one of the servants, he learned that you had been away for a week already. But what business could you possibly have with the Count??

Nikolai had nothing against him. Seeing Kirigin get all flustered as he tried to flirt with Zoya amused him to no end but the idea of him and you in the same house? Alone?? Unacceptable.

Not even bothering to change clothes after his long journey, Nikolai headed to the stables to ask for a well-rested horse. Luckily, Count Kirigin's estate was not too far away. A couple of hours ride.

Turns out that the Count had a lot to teach. Despite his aloof reputation and extravagant clothes, he was very observant. He lacked ambition, which was why Nikolai trusted him and had a curious way of behaving in social situations.

But Emil had been born and raised in high society. He knew how things were run even if he had no desire to be in charge of them.

So far, you'd be having a wonderful time. Emil was a wonderful host, as you remembered, but without Nikolai's presence, he was even more extravagant. He had an unexpectedly dry sense of humour and a never-ending list of jokes.

Being in the open and in the company of someone who saw y/n instead of the Queen of Ravka proved to be even more needed than you thought. You felt reinvigorated and much lighter than you'd ever been.

You had also been learning a lot. Emil had been teaching you about diplomacy. About the best ways of formulating a sentence so that you wouldn't offend anyone but still get what you wanted. He had also been talking to you about your husband's ministers. About their weaknesses and vices and what was the best way to approach them to get what you wanted.

So far, it was proving to be a wonderful decision to come here.

Whenever your mind strayed on Nikolai, you willed it to focus on something else. You didn't know if he had already come home or seen the letter. A part of you thought that if he had, he would at least write one back. But the thought felt a lot like hope and seeing as how little he saw you even before you left, you didn't think it safe to harbour it.

When Nikolai reached the estate, he was met with Kirigin's servants. They welcomed him inside and profusely apologised for the Count's absence. They told him that at this time of the day, Kirigin and his guest would usually go out on a ride but that they were also about to return.

So Nikolai waited, sitting in the most comfortable chair the Count owned, fuming at the thought that his wife had felt the need to go away and be in the company of another man.

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be Nikolai. You'd do well to remember it."

Your words haunted him. They were the last thing that you told him. How stupid had he been to let you walk away. How utterly careless of him to disregard you like that.

He had promised himself to truly talk to you about it once this pressing matter of state was taken care of. Apparently, he had waited too long.

But Nikolai knew that the problem was at the source. He noticed how hurt you had been when he made Zoya his first in command. Or how sad you seemed everywhere he went somewhere with her and didn't ask you to join.

He was doing so to protect you from the inevitable slander you'd be met with. He should have known though that putting you aside was going to be even worse. You were a fighter just as much as Zoya was, if not stronger.

She hid behind her veil of indifference and superiority while you had never lost that emphatic verve that made everyone love you so much. In his attempt to make you safe, he had only managed to hurt you.

You were a warrior. You had accepted the role of queen only because it was the only way for you to be with Nikolai. And instead of praising you by making you a warrior queen, he had decided to hide you away.

Well, no more.

If his mistakes had not ruined everything already, he was going to make everything better.

Lost in his musing, he didn't hear the sound of hooves approaching but he did indeed hear your laugh. It immediately brought him back to the present and a wave of ugly jealousy hit him.

He couldn't remember the last time he made you laugh.

"I shouldn't even laugh Emil, the joke was terrible," Nikolai hear you giggling from somewhere in the hall. So now he was Emil, huh.

"You know you can't resist my charm, your highness," Emil replied and Nikolai had to call on every bit of his self-control to not barge out of the room and punch him.

"Stop it, you know you can call me y/n."

Before Emil could reply, they had both made it to the sitting room where Nikolai was waiting for them. It looked like no one had warned them of his presence because Kirigin looked surprised then utterly mortified.

"Your majesty, I wasn't aware you were here. Please forgive me for making you wait."

"Don't fret Kirigin, it was an impromptu visit. I came to see how my lovely wife was doing." No matter how green he was feeling right now, he knew that Kirigin was loyal to him and the crown. Whatever was happening here wasn't one of his schemes.

"Of course! I'm going to send for some tea while you two get reunited." Kirigin quickly bowed before hurrying out of the room.

Nikolai met your eyes for the first time since you had arrived. If at first, you were surprised to see him, now you couldn't help but be a bit sceptical about this visit.

"What are you doing here?" you asked breaking the ice.

"You leave with only a few lines on where you're going and you expect me to just accept it?" He scoffed, his hands curling on the armrests of the chair.

"It's more than what you gave me," you quipped, crossing your arms on your chest.

Nikolai sighed while his gloved hands run through his hair. You were right and he knew it. He had been a horrible husband lately.

"I know you're mad at me, honey, but listen-"

"I'm not mad. You didn't want to give me what I wanted so I went looking for it somewhere else." Scrolling your shoulders, you interrupted him without meeting his eyes. A list of excuses was not what you wanted nor what you needed from him.

Nikolai didn't miss the innuendo. His jaw clenched, his hands closed in fists. But he willed himself to stay calm.

"You think Kirigin can give you something that I can't?" Nikolai was a master in diplomacy. Never did he get frustrated or angry or raised his voice, even with the most aggravating people. Here though, with you, he didn't have to keep a façade. He spoke through his teeth barely containing his anger.

"Well, so far, he's been giving me attention and interesting pointers that no, Nikolai, you refused to give me."

"So this is how you solve your problems? Running away in the countryside with Emil?" Nikolai sneered, his tone souring around Kirigin's name.

"Don't you do the same with your precious first in command?" Tired after your ride with Emil, you plopped down on the chair in front of Nikolai's. Completely ignoring his tone, you pointed out calmly. The perfect image of aloofness even when it was the last thing you were in this moment.

"That's different," he snapped trying to meet your eyes that were carefully analyzing your hands.

"Yes," you signed, "it seems that when I'm concerned everything is different."

"There's nothing between me and Zoya, y/n and you know it." Nikolai was getting more frustrated by the second. He came here to apologize, to make things right and so far, the conversation was going in the opposite directions.

"Maybe now, but you spend more time with her than you do with me. It's only a matter of time before it happens and you're sorely mistaken if you think I'll just stand by and watch."

"This is not about Zoya," he insisted but so far, he wasn't getting the reaction out of you he wanted. You seemed... resigned at the situation. And that worried Nikolai to no end.

"It never is."

"Why did you run away?" Opting for a more direct approach, he bit the bullet and went straight to the point.

"I did not run away," you scoffed in contempt at his choice of words, "I told you I wanted to do more and Emil is teaching me. Not everyone is so against spending time with me, you know." You shot him a glance.

It was the first time that you had looked at him since you had been left alone.

"I married you, y/n. How can you possibly believe I don't want to spend time with you?" As desperation slipped through his words, Nikolai leaned towards you in his seat. As if he couldn't bear the distance between you anymore. But you knew it wasn't that. You and he had been distant for months now.

"Because that's what's happening, Nikolai," you clipped back and Nikolai had to refrain from wincing at your tone.

"It's not intentional, my love, I've just been busy." His tone softened. It was a poor excuse of an apology but it was sadly the truth.

"But when I say that I want to join or help you with it you strongly oppose?" Again, there was that suspicious implication in your words that Nikolai just couldn't stand. To think that you believed he'd ever cheat on you with another woman when he had done so much, taken so many risks, to be with you.

"It's not what you think, y/n." He insisted again but immediately realized he had said the wrong thing when he saw you leaning back into your chair shaking your head.

"I don't think anything, anymore. Do whatever you want. You do your thing and I'll do mine. I won't be a bother to you anymore." Holding up your hands, you gestured as you spoke.

A beat. Nikolai froze in his seat at what you were suggesting.

"You're never a bother to me. Never." He leaned even forwards in his chair, basically only propping on it now. The desperation was now clear in his voice. He reached out to you to try and take hold of your hands but you were too distant.

"I love you more than anything in this world and if you think that I'm going to let you go without a fight, you're sorely mistaken." The steel determination of his words caught you off guard. Nikolai was strong-headed, you knew that better than anyone else, but it had been a long while since that determination had been directed to you.

"You already did." It was barely a whisper. The sad truth about your reality, the downfall of your relationship. The wavering of your voice, the pain in your eyes were enough to tip Nikolai off the edge.

"Milaya, please."He fell onto his knees in front of you. Leaning forward he reached for your hands that he could now hold. "I'm sorry. I put you in a difficult position when I married you and I tried my best to protect you."

"I don't need protecting, Nikolai, especially if it's by pushing me away."

"I was keeping you away from danger and I know that you're strong and capable but I hate to think of you as the object of public slander." His eyes darted between yours, frantic, desperate to make you understand.

"I'm Grisha, Nikolai. It's nothing new to me," you pointed out but then it hit you.

"By difficult position, you meant a Grisha Queen, didn't you?" Your eyes hardened at the implications, your hands going slack in his hold. You would have pulled them away if Nikolai didn't tighten his hold.

"Please, do not think I'm regretting my choice or I think you're not worthy of the title because that's not true." Pulling your hands, he tried to get you closer to him. "I fear that there will be repercussions among the people." And there it was, at last, the truth.

"And among your ministers," you added remembering Emil's lessons on the people at court and their role.

You scoffed when he stayed silent. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, my love."

"So Zoya can handle it and I can't?"

"For the millionth time," he groaned, "I don't care about Zoya."

"I only care about you and I know you can handle it. I just didn't want you to. You deserve happiness and peaceful life and I know it's impossible to have in this saints' forsaken country but I can at least try." His eyes lowered in shame and his confession sent a pang through your heart. You took a moment to take in what he said.

Never had you thought about the possibility of Nikolai's distance was a form of protection. You were a soldier of the Second Army, after all. But being a queen, especially a Grisha one, was a delicate thing.

It was the first time in history that something like this happened. Nikolai's worries were not unfounded since even after the destruction of the Fold, anti-Grisha movements were spreading fast.

It was sad to see the General's attempt of assuring safety for Grisha, provoking exactly the opposite thing.

"Oh, Kolya," returning his grip, you leaned towards him, "I just want a life with you by my side."

"As do I. I want you always and forever but above all, I want you safe. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know it right?"

"I just ask that you tell me the truth and let me play the role I've been given."

"It's not going to be easy. People at court-"

"I know. That's why I'm here. Emil's been teaching."

"Well, no more. I'm going to take care of it from now on."

"Is this a promise or a threat?"

"Rest assured my love, the difference between the two is almost nonexistent." He flashed you a smirk and you couldn't help but smile at him. Here it was, your beloved Nikolai.

"Things are going to change, aren't they?" you murmured softly as he gently rested his forehead against yours.

"We're going to show everyone what a "power couple" is." Here was his promise. Sealed with the gentlest nudging of his nose to yours. The action made you smile and your heart soar. You missed these little moments of intimacy with him.

One of his hands came to cradle your face as the other kept hold of your left hand. Your rings softly clicked as they touched. A form of reassurance.

"I love you, y/n."

"And I you, Kolya."

You were completely lost in your little bubble, even more so when Nikolai's lips finally met yours, that you had forgotten where you were. And that there was an embarrassed Kirigin outside the door waiting for the right moment to come in with tea.

sugar cube

nikolai lantsov x reader - sugar cube

summary: taking a bit of time to enjoy the sweet things in life

warnings: friends to lovers, siege and storm era nik, slight innuendo

word count: 1.2k

A/N: if you understand the reference, we can be best friends

     Nikolai Lantsov always had a tumultuous relationship with feelings.  He supposed most people did to a certain extent: crying when they didn’t want to; falling in love when they claimed to be ‘working on themselves’.  But his was always a bit more than that, transforming into a habit he jokingly called his own personal ‘small science’.

     With a slight tuning of his behavior and delivery of words altering the reactions of a crowd before him, it didn’t take long for the youngest Lantsov son to discover he had a flair for theatrics.  Rising through the ranks of the army and charming the socks off of diplomats was dumbly easy.  Under his spell, anger could be turned to pity and the tinges of loss stoked into the burning embers of a raging war.

Keep reading

a dare for a truth //nikolai lantsov

masterlist

summary: a night in Ketterdam promises Nikolai a tattoo and maybe something more with privateer! yn

pairing: nikolai lantsov x fem privateer! reader

word count: 3.5k

warning(s): tw tattoo needle

a/n: so idk if i have told yall this but english is my second language and so sometimes i interpret something incorrectly. one such occasion happened a week ago (?) i was reading siege and storm and came upon nikolai beating a tattoo against his thigh (ish? i don’t remember the exact quote) and your girl thought this meant he had a tattoo :)))) i ahd a fullblown freak out with @milkbaer, probably sent her into shock as well. but turns out that’s just an idiom. but it was a fun idea so this was born.

When Nikolai entered the bar, there was no way he could have predicted where the night would have taken him. It started out like any other evenings in Ketterdam for Sturmhond - the charming, fearless privateer. He walked into his tavern and Tome - the large, scruffy bartender yelled out his name, waving him to the counter with a couple of shots ready. Beside him, the twins would be discussing something. Nikolai usually never listened in, his attention probably dedicated to chatting up a beautiful lady. But when he heard a name - that name, he stopped whatever he was doing, perking his ears up.

“I heard Albatross got that deal with Zlatan,” Tamar said. “Worth about 2 million kruge, at least.”

It had been a given that on the True Sea, all the most expensive, most dangerous gigs were theirs. Handsome, ruthless Sturmhond, his rowdy crew and their mighty Hummingbird attracted flocks of customers far and wide with astronomical bids. They were untouchable.

However, lately, there had been talk of competition. It was some newcomer called Albatross and their ship Nameless. He had paid the rumors no mind. After all, who in their right minds would want to challenge them? And if so, it’d be a delight to see them try. But the name kept coming up. Over and over. To the point where Nikolai felt they were well past being acquaintances.

Nikolai picked up his drink, eyeing his reflection in the liquor bottle on the shelf and waited for Tolya to reply.

“Shame. We could have got that,” Tolya said.

“What deal?”

“You were listening?”

Nikolai nodded, holding out his chin expectantly. Tamar took a look at Tolya, uncertainty in her eyes. She knew how competitive he was. How he wanted to be the best at everything. Maybe this was not a good moment to tell him that there was a chance he might be or possibly had already fallen in rank.

“I can handle it. Just tell me.”

Tamar sighed and began to talk of a deal. Apparently, Zlatan wanted to stick his grubby fingers into trade between Fjerda and Novyi Zem and he had entrusted Albatross with the task. After the report, Tamar watched Nikolai with a close eye, scanning for a reaction. Anger, jealousy, anything. Yet, to her disappointment, all he did was purse his lips, cross his arms and say calmly, “Really sounds like you admire this Albatross girl.”

“Admire? This girl is my bloody hero.”

Hearing that caused a small but unpleasant jab to his ego. Maybe he should find this girl and see what her deal was. And despite the initial insignificant blow to his self-esteem, he was certain that this girl was not all mighty as Tamar made her out to be.

He laughed to himself. Who would name themself after a seagull and then not even bother to think of one for their ship?

“Albatross!”

All three heads were turned when Tome the Bartender’s voice boomed across the room. Nikolai straightened his spine, craning his neck to get a better look over the sea of people. He did not expect to get his answer almost immediately.

Albatross in his mind was anything but who she actually was. He thought she’d be an ugly hag with a bad back and a grating voice. But through the doors came a rare beauty. He could tell even in the atrocious lighting and past the thick clouds of cigar smoke. The atmosphere had changed.

“Tome knows her?” Nikolai said under his breath, turning around when he thought she caught him staring.

Tamar sighed, her eyes shamelessly glued to the figure moving closer and closer to them. “Who doesn’t? You’d be lying to say you have never heard of her before.”

“Tome! A round for the crew please!” The sweetest voice called not too far from where he sat.

“The usual, Y/N?”

“You know it!”

How well did they know each other?

Nikolai could feel Tamar itching to go and introduce herself. He twirled his drink around, keeping his eyes on the small patch of water dripping from his cold glass. Just as expected, he looked up to find his Heartrender already making her way across the bar.

“What is she doing?” Nikolai said with as much composure as he could fake.

Tolya shrugged. “Making friends.”

“Friends? Now? With her?”

“You need powerful friends as much as you do powerful enemies. Didn’t you say that once?” Tolya asked, his eyes narrowed.

“Yes, I did. But I don’t get one mixed up with the other, do I?”

“Oh shush. They are coming.”

Nikolai had never felt like an embarrassed schoolboy more in his entire life, scrambling to hide his blush and play pretend. This was not a proud moment and most certainly one he would love to forget. He turned away from them, sucked in a breath, closed his eyes and called for Sturmhond the Privateer to come back this instance.

“Albatross, it’s an absolute pleasure to meet a legend,” Tolya said from beside Nikolai.

“Oh, you’re too kind. The pleasure’s all mine.”

“We are all huge fans,” Tamar added. “Especially this gentleman here, Sturmhond.”

Nikolai put on a painted smile, twisting his head to finally match gaze with her. He had to fight to keep the smile up on his lips. She was even more gorgeous up close in her formfitting tailcoat and white breeches. He extended his hand with a courteous nod. She took his hand with a grin. Maybe this was going well. He thought to himself.

And then she said, “You’re the one who thinks I’m named after a seagull!”

Too soon. He spoke too soon.

Nikolai gave Tamar a pointed look. A death stare masked by a brilliant smile. Damn Heartrenders.

“Out of everyone, I’d expect you to know that it was a metaphor.”

Lucky for Nikolai, Sturmhond was there to save his face. The privateer arched an eyebrow and wore a quick smirk on his lips. “Me? I must have become a literary genius overnight then.”

“Tamar, let’s go look at that dart board. Will you please excuse us,” Tolya gripped his sister’s sleeves, practically dragging her away by the arm.

Y/N sat down on the stool next to his, flicking her hair out of her face. “Oh, you’re quite the poet, I hear.”

Tome placed a selection of drinks in front of her, ones that he knew she did not order. “On the house.” She blew a cheeky kiss to the bartender.

“Amongst other things,” Nikolai said, watching her interactions with Tome a little too closely. To his surprise, he wanted to know more about the girl next to him. Her sweet demeanor yet commanding presence was rather refreshing. “People talk about you too.”

“Rumors,” she smiled, shaking her head and looking away from him.

“You haven’t even heard what they are.”

Her fingers hovered over the shot glasses, finally closing around a random one. She didn’t answer his question immediately. Instead, she held up her glass to a group of people in the corner. With a mere raise of her hand, the room erupted into cheers, glass clinked together and liquor splattered around. Y/N knocked back her drink, earning a chorus of applause and whistles from her crew.

She didn’t even make a face after the shot, turning to him as though she had just taken nothing more than a sip of water. “I don’t need to hear what I have already said.”

Nikolai couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips, the Prince taking over for the Privateer. “Why? Why feed the vicious rumor mill?”

She took another glass into her fingers. “I’d much rather be the one feeding it than the one being fed to it.”

That made Nikolai laugh. He nodded, raising his glass to her. The two shared a drink in silence. He knew then that he had underestimated her. She was wiser than her years and wiser than most people he knew. Maybe that was because of her time on a ship. Maybe she was just born smarter than everyone else. Was her name even Y/N?

Finally, shots down. Nikolai decided to take his chance. “Tell me something real about you.”

“Ah, you’d have to pay me for that.”

Nikolai did not hesitate to pull out a couple of kruge from his pocket. She laughed when she saw that. “I am not a wishing well. I don’t take coins.” She had her elbow against the counter, turning to face him. “How about you play my games and I tell you? A dare for a truth.”

“Oh, not just any truth, surely.”

At this point, Nikolai knew better than to make any assumptions. Especially about her. But somehow, she still managed to surprise him.

She uncrossed her legs and slowly leaned in like a lion on the prowl. He took a breath, holding it in when her lips nearly touched his ear. She smelled of sweet vanilla and spicy tobacco. “Anything you want, Sturmhond.”

Nikolai knew it was intentional. The way she drew out his name, letting each syllable linger on her tongue for a moment before moving onto the next. And then, she sat back up, yanking Nikolai back to reality with the most innocent grin.

“Lead the way.”

...

At some point in life, Nikolai supposed he should rethink his spontaneity. It was fun and exciting in the moment but it had been responsible for many unfortunate events. He had decided, though, that he was yet to reach that point. For now, he was chasing a beautiful privateer through the streets of Ketterdam towards the harbor to her ship.

“Why Nameless?” he asked when they reached the dock, the Nameless towering over the both of them at the end of the wooden walkway. He let his eyes roam over its triangle sails, the way its body curled into a half moon shape over the night sea. It was impressive, he must admit. Not exactly dated but still commanded respect from onlookers. “Because I ran out of ideas,” Y/N answered with a shrug, a few steps ahead of him.

Soon, they boarded the nearly empty deck. Most of the crew had been out for their break. There were a couple of people left either sweeping the floors or rearranging barrels. All of whom she greeted upon boarding. The slightly damp wood panels gleamed under the moonlight and creaked under their feet. “Is that true?” asked Nikolai as she took him towards the stern of the ship.

“No,” she turned to him with a mischievous grin, walking backwards for a few steps. “This way.”

Y/N pushed the doors open with her shoulders, revealing a spacious cabin. The room was just like any other captain’s cabin, lit with oil lamps and candelabras, decorated with tones of red and gold. There was a rounded desk in the middle of the room, behind it hung two thick curtains.

“May I know my dare now?” he asked.

“In due time.” She gestured towards the table, telling him to make himself at home. And then she disappeared behind the curtains, leaving Nikolai to himself.

Of course he took her up on the offer. He leaned over the table, scanning the little trinkets scattered around from golden pocket watches to gilded compasses. In the sea of warm gold tones, he caught a curious silver gleam in the corner of his eye.

A needle.

Nikolai took it between his fingers, bringing it to the light. It was missing the threading loop that a normal sewing needle would have.

“I see you’ve found your dare,” Y/N said when she reappeared, a wooden box in her hands. Nikolai looked up, quickly noticing that Y/N had forgone her coat. She was now only in a shift shirt, the front loosely tucked in her breeches, the back hanging haphazardly behind her.

“A needle?”

“No.” She walked around the table, gesturing for him to sit down. As he did so, she placed the box down and unlatched it to reveal colorful bottles of dye and ink inside. “A tattoo.”

“You want to give me a tattoo?”

She placed a hand on her hip, staring at him with an incredulous look in her eyes. “Are you scared of a little ink?”

Oh, Nikolai was not afraid. He had a tailor who could easily remove it in the blink of an eye. But Sturmhond, on the other hand, was an Otkazat’sya with a reputation with the ladies. He put on a smile. “Make it pretty. I have many people to answer to if this goes wrong.”

Y/N reached into her kit for a bottle of dye, focused on picking out the right color. “Your mother?” She asked with a raised eyebrow, still not paying him her direct attention.

“No. Yours.”

She did not laugh at his joke, merely giving him a hint of a smile. Y/N seemed to be giving the colors a lot of thought. Picking up vial after vial before putting them down again. Nikolai tried not to stare at the way her lower lip kept rolling under her teeth.

“So how will this work?” he asked, peering into the box.

“You ask a lot of questions. Do you want to do this or not, Sturmhond?”

“If you start answering my questions, yes.”

Y/N paused when she held up a bottle of jet black ink. She gave it far more time than she did any of the bottles. This was the one. Happy with the rich shade of black she had chosen, Y/N turned to him with a soft sigh. “Fair enough.” She tugged on her gloves before leaning her hip against the desk. “I’ll give you a tattoo, anything I want. In the meantime, you can ask me anything you want and I promise I will tell you the truth.”

Nikolai kicked back his legs, leaning into his seat. “You got yourself a deal.” He waved the needle around in a taunting manner.

She snatched it from his hands, holding up a finger. “But you can’t take a peek. Not before it’s done.”

He bowed his head, “Of course.”

“Now take off your coat and lift up your right sleeves.”

“There are other ways of getting me naked-”

That earned himself a swat on the back of his neck. Even though she had gloves on, it still stung. Nikolai rubbed at the spot, eyeing her hands.

“Fine, fine. No need for violence....However, if that’s what you’re into then I am perfectly capab-”

Y/N sucked in a loud breath, ounces of patience drained from her body each time he opened his mouth. Nikolai threw up both of his hands in surrender, hiding behind them when she held the needle dangerously close to his face. “You really want an amateur to tattoo your face, do you?”

“Wait, what?” He put a gap between his fingers and peered through them to look at Y/N. “You have never done this before?”

“That’s right. This is my first time.” She would have wanted to torment him a little further, have him really fear for the fate of his pretty face. But his reaction had her cracking up much earlier than she expected. “Relax. It’s not.”

He dropped his hands, heaving a silent sigh. “Didn’t you promise to tell the truth?”

“That was not a lie. That was a joke. Now take off your jacket and roll up your sleeves.”

Nikolai didn’t have any objections this time. He peeled off his coat and swung it over his chair. And then he rolled up his sleeves. Not because he had to, because he wanted to.

Y/N pretended to fiddle with a brush, running her fingertip over the bristles and watching it spring back into place. But really, she was shamelessly staring at the ginger-haired boy now that his electrifying green eyes weren’t watching her. He wasn’t perfect. It was quite easy to pick out all the little flaws on his face: the little cuts by his cheekbones, the rough bump on his nose, his personality. Yet, somehow with all of them, he still managed to appear effortlessly attractive, even endearing at times.

“Like this?” Y/N almost jumped when he spoke. He watched her with a smirk, his sleeve rolled up to his elbow.

Of course he would like that. She rolled her eyes. “All the way up.”

Y/N thanked the Saints that he didn’t make eye contact with her as he continued to reveal more of his bicep. Maybe she should have settled for the forearm. It would make her less flustered, for sure. “Like that. Perfect.”

“Alright,” he held out his hands, “I’m all yours. Go ballistic.”

Y/N laughed, dipping her brush into the ink pot. “You wouldn’t want that.” She pointed the end of her brush towards the doors, guiding his eyes away before standing in between him and the table. She took a breath, placing one hand on his arm to keep steady. He smelled faintly of cologne. The nice kind. It was not those overly intense ones the sleazy pirates liked to drench themselves in. She liked it.

Nikolai looked away when the brush tickled his skin. “You don’t want me to look because of stage fright or do you just like a surprise?”

“Neither. Had a feeling you might boss my own project around.”

“I would never!”

She gave him a pointed looked. “You would.”

He pouted. She was right.

Y/N quickly sketched the tattoo out in the silence. Her touch was so light that he could barely feel the brush moving. He had no idea what it was, not even the faintest guess. All he knew was that it was not anything huge, probably smaller than the palm of his hand. “How does it look?”

“Good. What else do you want to waste your questions on?”

“Why Nameless?”

She smiled, twisting around to replace the brush with an actual needle this time. “I wanted it to speak for itself. It didn’t need a clever name to earn people’s respect.”

“Then why Albatross? Why not something simpler?”

She placed the needle to his skin, the cool silver kissing his skin. “Because in my case, it distracts people from the fact that I am a girl, in a man’s world.”

The words hung heavy in the air. It was the most personal thing she had revealed. And it reminded Nikolai of his own doubts years ago, trying to belong in a place not meant for him, struggling to fit in.

She broke the meaningful silence to slip in a warning, “This may hurt a bit.”

Nikolai couldn’t care less about the pain. Even when the needle pricked into his skin, he was much too distracted to notice the sting. He wanted to reassure her, like he would have wanted someone to do for him. “People respect you. Your crew, your competition.”

She smiled. “Thanks. But people respect Albatross. And most of the time, after they meet me, they change their minds. I don’t care, though. I have no problem proving people wrong.”

“You proved me wrong. And I am not usually wrong.”

“Is that so? How did I manage such a feat, then?”

“You were you. I like it.”

Nikolai took the chance to look at her, really take her in. She did not object, going on with her work like normal. He supposed she looked a bit younger than him. Might be her doe eyes. Might be her cheerful smile. He wasn’t too sure.

But Tamar was right. This girl was incredible. Cheeky, witty and kind. He had expected her to be vicious and ruthless because that was the only way he knew how to survive as a privateer. Yet, she was respectful and humble to everyone from strangers like him, Tamar and Tolya to every last member of her crew. She most definitely earned the respect she had. There was no doubt about that.

Nikolai’s continued silence worried her a bit. She had gotten used to him running his mouth nonstop, probably even preferred having him chew her ear off rather than staying in this odd silence. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He shrugged his other shoulder. “Because I like to.”

Y/N removed both of her hands. “You can stop, you know. Staring at me won’t make your tattoo any prettier. It’s done anyways.”

“May I look now?”

Y/N wiped a cool, damp towel over his skin and gave a final glance at her work, a sweet smile spreading across her lips. “You may.”

Nikolai peered over his shoulder, seeing the black ink forming the outline of a beautiful fox. He looked up at her to find her removing the gloves, placing her tools back into the box.

“I didn’t want to color it in. Might make it too difficult for your Tailor to remove, your Highness.”

In all of his years as Sturmhond, no one had ever shocked him with his own identity. The disguise was immaculate. His hair, his eyes, his nose-for Saints’ sake-looked like it had been twisted and bent several times. Yet, as startled as he was, Nikolai couldn’t afford to blow his cover now by getting all worked up. So he played it cool, the only way he knew how. “I am flattered that you think I am a Prince. Tell me, is it the handsome face that gave it away?”

“No need to play pretend. I know who you are, Nikolai Lantsov,” Y/N said, leaning in like she did at the bar. But this time, her soft lips were directly on his ear, sending chills down his spine. “Lucky for you, I don’t kiss and tell. Unless-”

Nikolai laughed, placing a finger underneath her jaw, connecting their gaze. “I believe I know a couple of ways to keep your mouth busy.”

“Like what?” she whispered.

She smiled when Nikolai sat up, attaching their lips finally in a long-awaited kiss. The night may have ended for Sturmhond but it had only just begun fro Nikolai Lantsov and his mysterious privateer.

taglist: @milkbaer @5hundreddaysofsummer

add yourself to my taglist!

I highly doubt sab is going to get the green light for season 3 or anything else beyond season 2

They honestly murdered Nikolai’s character. This character is being the only monarch who cares about his country and his people. The whole reason he created Sturmhond, the whole reason he’s a privateer, the whole reason he works for the Darkling and kidnappings Alina. This entire character is based on his love for his country and him doing anything he can to make it better for his people. It’s the whole reason I fell in love with his character, I love that he was an inventor and a strategist prince with military experience, everything you look for in a leader. And now you’re telling me that he has to be convinced to save Ravka?! It was Alina in the books who need to be convinced to save the country. Don’t ruin his entire character just to make Alina look better. No matter what you do you won’t make me like her and now they made me hate the only protagonist I liked. Fuck you.

He was the perfect balance between Alina and the Darkling. And the only hero I liked. He should be the one ruling Ravka not Zoya, he was the perfect man for it, I can’t believe LB threw away his life goal, the everything he worked for away just to have Zoya “can’t control her anger” Nazyalensky on the throne, it’s fucking ridiculous. Like Nikolai had a whole plan for democracy. 

I still can’t with Nikolai’s character, I’m on episode 4 and I can’t stand him, he feels like a comic relief, an arrogant prince who happens to be a good person. And while his whole plan about hiring the crows was strategic, it made no sense, it just seemed like an excuse for the crows kidnapping Alina and than selling her into slavery and it didn’t work because they still didn’t know why they were kidnapping her. And than he sets a trap for her to board his ship and has her convince him to save his own country like that wasn’t already his plan, it worked in books because he works for the Darkling but in the show it does not. I see no reason as to why he didn’t reveal himself before, in the books he had to drag Alina to the country and than reveal himself so she couldn’t say no but in the show she was ready, so there was no reason for him to hide his identity. And he said that he didn’t reveal it before because she wouldn’t come but she’s still with him after he revealed himself. So everything was pointless anyway.

“i won’t say i’m in love” is literally Zoya Nazyalensky trying to avoid confronting her feelings for nikolai 😘😘😘

fic for @grishaversebigbang's mini bang word count: 2k with the lovely artwork from @jellythefishhh here and @fayrism here fic summary: zoya has to go to an event in ketterdam, but she can't very well go alone, can she? accompanying her is her least favorite pirate (privateer). Kisses Over Crowns

“Zoya? Are you nearly ready? We’re comparatively later than usual.” Nikolai’s voice drifted in through the door.

Zoya assessed herself. The gown stuck to her body, displaying it. The neckline dipped to her cleavage briefly, hinting, taunting. It was blue, flashy and shiny material with gold and gray accents. It clung to her hips especially. It would do. The Kerch would love it. She barely wore any jewelry, just small diamond studs, a gold chain with the Ravkan symbol pendant and of course, the new Ravkan crown, silver and light, shaped like an approaching dragon. 

She sensed Nikolai as he entered the room. She turned around and raised an eyebrow impatiently. “Well? What are we waiting for now?”

He snapped his gaze to her eyes, not lingering where it should never have been in the first place. "I'm reconsidering going to the event at all.” He stated, in a strangled voice. 

“You’re being ridiculous, Sturmhond.”

“I'm always ridiculous. There are just sometimes you like it more than others." He grinned.

“Let’s go,” She strode forward and took his hand, leading him out of the room. He allowed himself to be led. 

Although the function celebrating the anniversary of the Council was in their wing, Zoya could not help but feel offended at the lack of acknowledgement whatsoever. They were not given directions or guidance, and their entrance into the hall was ignored. She told herself she was thinking too much. 

"What are we even supposed to do?" she asked Nikolai suspiciously under her breath, awkwardly coming to a stop in the middle of the hall. Sturmhond, she corrected herself. The Kerch were furious enough at Nikolai as it was, and she didn't like making a public appearance with a privateer (pirate), but it was the best option they had after receiving the deliberately ill-timed invitation to Ketterdam. 

"Talk, sit. Listen to very long, boring and possibly fatal speeches. Pretend to eat. Dance, perhaps.  And go back to our rooms."

Zoya batted his words away and focused on her surroundings. 

The hall's walls were grey marble, made from helpless indentures' hands, and the dome was grand and high. But it was a closed venue and there was no way for Brekker and his barrel rats to break into this place. Or at least she thought so. She wouldn't put anything past that rat. The place was hung with white banners saying things like "The spirit of profit and trade lives on!" or "Ghezen continues to bless us with prosperity!". 

He hummed to gain her attention. She looked at him questioningly, desperate to limit contact between them. "What is it, my love?" he asked. 

"I don't like making a public appearance with a pirate. Privateer.", she automatically self-corrected, much to his amusement. "And don't call me that." 

At that, he tilted his head, resumed his most mournful, confused expression, which rather looked like a sad puppy. She couldn't help but smile a little at that absolutely ridiculous face. His face broke into a grin which was so much more Nikolai than Sturmhond. She had to look away so she wouldn't kiss him. 

"Ah, well met, Your Highness, well met." a smooth voice distracted her. As she attempted to maintain small talk with the Zemeni ambassador, Sturmhond larked away, being no help at all. She suspected he was enjoying the opportunity to be carefree in front of people he usually scraped to, a little too much. 

When the Zemeni ambassador had had enough, Sturmhond steered her around the room, making it look like she was the one doing the steering. "There's that pair of awful, stuck-up Fjerdans. Saints, I think they're approaching. Quick, sweep me away to the dinner table." 

They tried to speed walk to the massive dinner table in the center of the room without attracting any unwanted attention. Sturmhond stopped a foot away from the nearest chair. "What is it now, privateer?" she impatiently snapped. Then she saw the problem for herself. There was only one seat for the Ravkan delegation. And it was labeled Privateer Sturmhond. 

"Please sit, Your Highness. I'll get them to correct their mistake immediately." he reassured her. Zoya was sure that this was very intentional, but she took her seat and waved him away nonetheless. 

The Fjerdan delegation they had tried so hard to avoid swept into their seats next to her frostily. Internally already asleep, she engaged them in small talk, doing her best to avoid tense topics. Leave the important issues for after the meals and the drinking, Nikolai had told her. She hardly thought the Fjerdans would indulge in alcohol, but she managed to steer them away from intense matters.

"General Nazyakensky! Ah, I suppose it's Queen now." came Hiram Schenck bustling into her. 

She only stared at him unflinchingly. "Those are the kind of errors which make for war offenses. It's been a year of you forgetting my title? Kindly correct this seating arrangement." 

"Of course, of course. We just kept in mind that no Ravkan monarch has ever visited Ketterdam before. Except His Previous Highness Nikolai when he was young, of course." he replied, not taking her threat of war seriously. But he should. Fjerda and Ravka had made their peace, and Ravka and Shu Han were well on their way to peace as well. Novyi Zem was already their ally. That made Ravka out to be quite the strong nation, what with the trade reforms. 

And there came Sturmhond. "Ah, has the seating arrangement been revised yet?" asking as if that weren't the very reason he had gone away. 

"Of course, Privateer Sturmhond. Right away." Schenck bowed and went away. She watched the astonishing exchange with wide eyes. 

"Is he scared of you?" she whispered conspiratorially. He grinned down at her from the back of her seat, but she refused to twist around. She settled for a few glances with her craning her neck. 

"I made sure he heard a lot of gruesome stories about Privateer Sturmhond." he murmured back. 

"Also, does he think that's a title or something?" 

He shrugged. "Or something." 

They were interrupted by a servant hastily dragging a chair towards them. “Thank you,” Sturmhond said. He sank down in his chair, groaning and working out the kinks in his neck. Zoya marveled at the sight. Nikolai could never have done something like that. He would have to sit, straight-backed, stone-faced. She supposed there was some freedom in having a privateer alter-ego. 

“Ahem! Now that we are seated, all of us,” Jellen Radmakker spoke up, standing at the head of the table, “I would like to propose a toast.” 

Sturmhond leaned closer to her and commented, ‘This is probably the best time to take a nap. I’ll wake you up when it ends.” 

Usually she would have ignored him, but as Councilman Radmakker started his speech, she half felt inclined to take him up on his offer. After an eternity, during which she could neither nap, nor talk to Nikolai, Radmakker deemed it the appropriate time to start eating. 

The food was brought in on silver plates, and served to everyone but her. Sturmhond tensed his jaw and pushed his plate toward her. “Eat. I’ll sort this out.” 

She raised her eyebrows. “Like you sorted it out the last time?” Scoffing, she pushed the plate back to him. “Sit, Sturmhond. The food’s probably poisoned anyway.”

Shrugging, he sat down. Then he waved a server over. “Ah, my good mate. Y’know who I am, righ’? Can I have another plate? Mighty good food, m’lad, mighty good food.” The server simply nodded and hurried away. 

Zoya looked at him for a long time, picked a stick of sugar up and stuck it in her mouth. “What are you, Sturmhond?” 

Instead of grinning, or offering any other snarky reply, he leaned closer and closer to her, until she felt his breath on her cheek. “Yours.” 

And that was the moment the server chose to bring another plate to Sturmhond. 

~

Everyone was done eating, and people were milling about, sweet-talking each other or just finding the way to their rooms. Nikolai would have seen this as an excellent opportunity, but Nikolai was not there. Sturmhond gently prodded her once, if she was feeling up for it. Zoya was not. 

They decided to stand there aimlessly, just to see if anyone would make overtures. A minute later, Zoya could not bear it and pulled Nikolai away, to their rooms. She bumped into something hard and …bony. 

“Watch where you’re going, dragon wench.” came the harsh scrape of, unmistakably, Brekker’s voice. She grated her jaw and slowly took a dignified step back. 

He was wearing a black suit, and an oversized black trench coat. His haircut was astoundingly bad. His skin was paler than ever and he clutched his cane in his right hand. His dead shark eyes were irritated and a little wet. 

“Mr. Brekker! How surprising to see you here!” Sturmhond calmly stabilized her and snaked an arm across her back. 

“Isn’t it? I must say, it is not at all pleasing to gaze upon your face. It’s extraordinarily ugly.” he replied drily.

“I would prefer it to have you eradicated from the earth, but who knows? That might just be the thing that brings Ravka and the Council close.” Zoya snapped. 

“A very noble endeavor, I’m sure, Your Highness, but you’ll find that the Merchant Council is currently inebriated and absolutely hates you.” 

“Indubitably, you're right, Mr. Brekker. How has Captain Ghafa been faring?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye. 

“The Wraith is doing just fine. And it better continue that.” 

“Ah, Mr. Brekker, your thinly-veiled threats are always delightful. A true pleasure partaking in conversation with your esteemed self.” 

“I doubt Her Majesty feels that way.” 

“What social intuition you have,” Zoya said in an acerbic voice. She really hated him. Saints knew why they were bothering to talk to him anyway. You know what, she would remedy that. “As truly enjoyable as your company has been, we would take your leave now.” And she whisked Nikolai away. 

She struggled to find their rooms in the sparsely-lit corridors. “What simulating conversation we just ha-,”

“Oh, shut up, Nikolai.” she lashed out, stopping and pushing him up against a wall. Zoya looked into his eyes, Sturmhond’s eyes, an odd greenish color, and only saw Nikolai’s. 

“My Queen?” he mumbled nervously. 

She shut him up with a kiss. Softly pressing her lips to his, she parted his mouth with her tongue, and her reward was hearing him moan spectacularly. Saints, she was done. Zoya pulled away. 

Sturmhond was breathing hard, looking surprised and … was that a blush she saw on his cheeks? “Nikolai…”, she teased, “Are you blushing?”

“Can we please go to our rooms, Your Highness? I’m positive they were just here.” he almost pleaded. She let the poor man drag her to their rooms. 

~

She blinked blearily. Looking around, she tried to remember where she was. Stone walls, white bed. And a solid warmth next to her. She turned around and looked at Nikolai. His red hair, his pointy chin. Nikolai, yet not. She sighed. Zoya could’ve stayed there forever, regardless of the fact that this was Ketterdam.

Slowly, she sat up, because duty called. She had slept in her clothes and jewelry. She took her diamond studs off and kept them in a pouch. Off came the pendant. She carefully reached for her crown, but her fingers just touched… empty air. Space. Nothing. Oh, she swore to all the Saints and their ugly mothers- jumping from the bed, she looked at herself in the mirror. No crown on her head. Her movements woke Nikolai, and he gazed at her sleepily. “My love?” 

“That little cockroach Brekker. He stole my crown. I’ll… Wait. Was it on my head last you saw me?” she fumed. 

“You mean in bed? Yes.” 

So… how did he? “Did we lock the room?” she asked, fear creeping into her voice. If Brekker had seen them… entangled, he could leak that for millions of kruge. 

“I… I don’t think so. Check, my love.” Urgency filtered through his words as well.

This was beautifully written.

#14.“I’m trying so hard not to kiss you right now.” Nikolina pretty pretty please, boo

Hiii anon!! 

So I wasn’t really taking requests at the time I reblogged that post (it was for future reference) BUT YOUR REQUEST WAS SO PERFECT I HAD TO DO IT

it just took me a while to get the right idea. hope you’re not too mad about the lateness >w

anyways, here we go!!

Rated T for kissies and mentions of sexy times

The thingabout Nikolai Lantsov was that he was a master at being insufferable when he reallywanted.

“I’m tryingso hard not to kiss you right now, Alina.” He whispered, lips barely moving asthey danced through the crowd, a slow and respectable waltz played by the royalorchestra.

Alina kepther polite smile plastered on her face, even though in that moment she reallywanted to roll her eyes at the prince (and maybe smack him as well), “We don’tknow each other, remember? You can’t just kiss a complete stranger.” She hissedthrough her smile.

Nikolaichuckled and turned her around, pale golden skirts following her steps beforeshe was back in his embrace, “If I recall it correctly, we did exactly that,sunshine.”

She sighed,“Doesn’t mean you can do it right now, you idiot.”

“Doesn’tmean I can’t wish to do it.”

She rolledher eyes then, safe as the crowd grew endorsed in their own dance partners. Thetruth was that she wanted to kiss him right then as well. It had been weekssince they’d seen each other and their parting had been too fast to even sharea goodbye kiss.

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