Notproforanyonejustforme - Tumblr Posts
I sometimes hate my parents for being so caring. Istg i skip one meal or refuse some snacks they offer me and they're all over me asking if im ok and shit .They just forced me to drink vitamins because i skipped dinner
I just feel like i dont want this bad enough bcs i just fucking binged. And i didnt even think twice before i showed the handful of crisps down my fucking throat. God i hate myself. Im such a fucking pig.
I feel like i've been going back and forth in the last few days. I haven't posted since the binge a couple of nights ago.But schools just really stressing me out.But yeah I did 22/2 fasts for the last 2 days. Skipping breakfast and lunch was supprisingly easy but i do have to eat dinner with my family. I also went jogging for two days in row and I'm gonna try and go out tonight as well. Also been getting really dizzy, but ig that means i'm doing something right so i just ignore it.
Anyways im gonna try updating on my daily kcal intake and the workouts i did that day.
I've lost quite alot of weight and i'm quite happy, but still the fear of gaining it all back sits in the back of my mind, waiting for the day i get over my calorie limit so it can inveigh me about it, drive me to mark my thighs with scars that scream i hate myself.
It's so scary, but it is me who chose this, it is me who does this to myself, which makes it even more frightening.
Some of my favourite thinspo
Some daily thinspo 4 myself:)
These last couple of days have been so tough
I think i've lost my period, and ihqven't been able to poop for around 3 weeks now:/
I went to see a dermatologist because my skin has been just horrible and she basically told me i've got to eat more.I wish i didn't go because now i don't have an excuse to not eat as little as i used to.I went with my dad who is now making me eat 'for him' so i am basically being forced into recovery without even making it to my GW1:/ I'm still not sick enough. I'm not skinny enough to recover.
But i saw two of my friends i didn't see in a very long time and they both said i look smaller so that felt kind of nice :,)
Some thinspo for the tl
Rules for myself for the rest of the summer xoxo
If you can get out of eating breakfast do it , don't snack on anything during the day
If you had to eat breakfast mame sure you burn all the calories of by lunch time
Eat lunch at 4 or 5 pm if you are with otger people
No eating past 5
Working out either by walking or cycling, and do the hot girl challenge+ skinny girl diet idc if its a feast you'll feel gross if you binge again( also wouldn't it be embarassing to start your diet over for the 3rd time and not being able to stick to one of your goal weights for longer than 2 days just because you can't resist some stupid chocolate.)It'll still be there when you are at 40 kg. It'll all still be there when you are skinny,you just have to control yourself.