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Absolutely no one:
Shitty at his first trial:
Anyone who says this isn’t canon is a liar
Ngozi Ukazu absolutely nailed hockey culture
Seriously, my friend sent me this interview with a hockey captain from a few years ago, and I just... From the nicknames to the chirps, it just reads like @ngoziu wrote it for the @omgcheckplease Samwell team!
[Interview Transcript:
Title: Ten questions with captain Shirley
Collin Shirley led the Kamloops Blazers in scoring last season, registering 79 points, 37 of them goals. The 20-year-old forward from Saskatoon was named captain last month. KTW reporter Marty Hastings got to know Shirley and his teammates in this 10-question survey.
KTW: What’s on your iPod?
CS: I probably have the biggest mix you can find, but I love my country like a good Saskatchewan boy. [Cam] Reagan has got me into the rap lately. I usually rip him in our interviews, but it’s kind of catchy, so I like what he’s got.
KTW: What’s your favourite movie?
CS: It’s probably Endless Love. Me, Daws [Dawson Davidson], Nolan [Kneen] and Millzy [Erik Miller], we watch it probably three or four time a year. It’s unreal. We shed a few tears.
KTW: What team in the B.C. Division do you dislike the most and why?
CS: That’s a pretty easy question. It’s Kelowna for sure. It’s not even a dislike. It’s just the rivalry we have, especially after last year, losing in Game 7. It still hits pretty close to home. I like the battle.
KTW: What is your pre-game ritual?
CS: I’m always knocking on wood. Benjy [Quinn Benjafield] always makes fun of me. And I listen to music before the game.
KTW: Who is the most romantic Kamloops Blazer?
CS: Come on. That’s not even a question. Cam Reagan. He’s always got a new girl or getting over another girl. He likes talking about the dates and taking girls out. We like getting on his case about it.
KTW: If you were going to go to one person on the team for life advice, who would it be?
CS: Joe Gatenby. I’ve got to know him a little bit since he’s been traded here. He’s a serious guy and he’s really down to earth. He’s got his head screwed on right. The last guy I would go to is Cam Reagan.
KTW: What’s your favourite food?
CS: Steak, potatoes and cheesecake. I could have a bath in cheesecake. It’s unbelievable. The biggest appetite on the team is probably Jermaine [Loewen] or Reags. We always have our trips to A&W. They guys will have a burger, root beer and fries, but Reags is always getting the Chubby Chicken wraps. I have a lot of fun with him. I hope he doesn’t get too upset with me.
KTW: Who are the best- and worst-dressed Blazers?
CS: The best-dressed Blazer is, besides myself, would have to be Reags. He’s got the cool bracelets, hats and always with the nice shoes. He’s high maintenance when it comes to that stuff. The worst is Connor Ingram. It’ll be plus-25 and he wears sweatpants and a hoodie. When he stops 40 pucks a night, we’ll let him do his thing.
KTW: If you could trade lives with anyone, who would it be and why?
CS: Probably the One Direction boys, just to see how life is on the road for them and how they go about their business. Me, Daws, Needer [Matt Needham] and Millzy made a music video and threw it in the group chat. We’re pretty good. I’m right there in the mix with them. I wouldn’t be ashamed of having it out there.
KTW: If you had access to a time machine, where would you go and why?
CS: I’d probably go back to the 1980 Olympics, with the USA and the Soviets. That’s another movie I love. It would be kind of cool to see how that played out, watch the game and the events of those Olympics.]
Check Please Should Be An Animated Series
Honestly, with the fact that there are so many animated series now that a) have an older audience following and b) have an LGBT audience following, this is kind of the perfect series to adapt!
Just imagine:
Ransom and Holster have an actual theme song for “Hockey Shit with Random and Holster”! I can picture exactly how it sounds in my head, and Jack’s still the only one who can hear it
Not enough material for a full season? ANIMATE BITTY’S TWEETS/THE EXTRAS!!!
Wait, ANIMATE ASK A WELLIE! Make it another segment like “Hockey Shit”!
Also we could totally include the ghosts haunting Ransom, poor guy
John Johnson the existential goalie 110% has all of his dialogue appear in a speech bubble as he talks (though we don’t see him), but the words are Star Wars intro style
Also I just want Ollie and Wicks randomly appearing throughout the series and commenting on things
IMAGINE HEARING JACK’S VOICE WITH A FRENCH CANADIAN ACCENT
JACK SPEAKING FRENCH
JACK AS AN UGLY BABY
JACK JACK JACK JACK JACK
Bitty and his accent!!!
I’ll probably think of more later (and please add more!), but just - Check Please: the Animated Series!!!
Now you’ve got me curious! I don’t know if I matched the characters to the accents correctly, so please forgive me. I googled some accent videos just for the ones in your tags (might not all be accurate because there can be multiple accents in one state/province), and I deduced that the Haus soundscape is CHAOTIC
Jack (Montreal) - if he is a native French speaker over English (sorry I could only find a woman)
Jack (Montreal) - if he is a native English speaker over French (though this voice is WAAAAY deeper than I imagine for him)
Bitty (Georgia) - Jefferson is apparently pretty close to Madison, so I assume it’s similar?
Not sure which character actually? (Boston)
Dex (Maine) - complete with lobsters!
Holster/Nursey (New York)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwny52Ncatk
Some of these still could be wrong, and to be fair, a lot of regional accents are dying out/faded especially when it comes to younger generations. But, in conclusion, the accents that may be bouncing off each other in the Haus are C H A O T I C
Check Please Should Be An Animated Series
Honestly, with the fact that there are so many animated series now that a) have an older audience following and b) have an LGBT audience following, this is kind of the perfect series to adapt!
Just imagine:
Ransom and Holster have an actual theme song for “Hockey Shit with Random and Holster”! I can picture exactly how it sounds in my head, and Jack’s still the only one who can hear it
Not enough material for a full season? ANIMATE BITTY’S TWEETS/THE EXTRAS!!!
Wait, ANIMATE ASK A WELLIE! Make it another segment like “Hockey Shit”!
Also we could totally include the ghosts haunting Ransom, poor guy
John Johnson the existential goalie 110% has all of his dialogue appear in a speech bubble as he talks (though we don’t see him), but the words are Star Wars intro style
Also I just want Ollie and Wicks randomly appearing throughout the series and commenting on things
IMAGINE HEARING JACK’S VOICE WITH A FRENCH CANADIAN ACCENT
JACK SPEAKING FRENCH
JACK AS AN UGLY BABY
JACK JACK JACK JACK JACK
Bitty and his accent!!!
I’ll probably think of more later (and please add more!), but just - Check Please: the Animated Series!!!
★ Gale Galligan’s illustration for the Year Two Kickstarter print set! Definitely follow her on:
@robochai | TWITTER | INSTAGRAM | STORE
That middle panel though?
sooofft
*sigh* I’m so happy for those two
Check, Please! Junior Year #4 - Home Opener back« start »next
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“"I would say my estimated readership is at least 120K," Ukazu tells me in an email conversation. "10k people check out [my] updates whenever they're posted. And it might be more interesting to talk about the 5000 fanfictions that have been posted on the fanfiction site AO3." Plus, a recent Kickstarter for "Check Please" raised about $100,000 in an hour. (It eventually cleared about a quarter of million.)”
http://www.npr.org/2017/05/11/527821553/with-check-please-a-comics-creator-rewrites-the-rules-and-scores
...Should someone tell them it might not be a good idea to keep up an unfiltered link to AO3 on the NPR website? The first link right now on that page is an A/B/O knotting fic, which, you do you, fandom!, but...
Oh, this is lovely. I particularly appreciate the nod to Ransom’s friend-oriented genius.
A little AU meet-cute based on @billypoindexter‘s prompt (someone else may have already done it, but I haven’t written any zimbits in forever):
So I was watching Say Yes to the Dress yesterday and Corbin Bleu and his fiancé (now wife) Sasha Clements were on it and when they asked how they met Sasha said they met in a grocery store and she kind of recognized him, and figured he was an acquaintance whose name she had forgotten. So she goes “Hey!! How are you?” and they chat for a bit before she realizes that she knows him because he’s famous.
Bitty was rounding the end of the cereal aisle, rechecking the grocery list to see if he’d gotten everything and wondering what was wrong with the state of public education in New England that none of his roommates had apparently learned basic penmanship, when he ran into someone.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” he exclaimed, and suppressed the wince as his accent reflexively came out full force. (It was partly the apologizing, and partly that he’d learned people were more forgiving if they thought he wasn’t from ’round here. He’d decided to embrace it; if he couldn’t get rid of the accent, it might as well be good for something.)
“No, no problem,” said the person, and then Bitty actually looked at him and felt that familiar terror of countless small-town grocery runs with his mother, where they ran into someone that he knew he was supposed to know, but could not place for the life of him, let alone remember an actual name.
“Well, hey!” he exclaimed, racking his brain frantically for the reason this guy looked so familiar. Surely he’d remember someone who looked like that. Lord. There was nothing, though, so he let autopilot take over. “How have you been?”
Tall, Dark, and Handsome blinked at him. (How could Bitty have forgotten eyes that blue? What even was wrong with him today? This was ridiculous.) “Uh, okay, actually. Yup. Everything going well.”
“Well, that’s great!” Bitty glanced at his list again. “Hey, can you read this? I genuinely can’t tell if this is supposed to be English.”
The guy obligingly took the paper from him and squinted at it. “Provolone, I think.”
Bitty took the list back and stared at it for a second. “I think you’re right. Honestly, Holster.”
“I was just heading toward the deli myself.”
“How perfect! I really kind of hate shopping by myself? But this was just supposed to be a quick in and out, or at least it was until I realized I apparently live with chickens in human guise who never learned to write properly.”
By the time Bitty and The Guy checked out and parted ways half an hour later, Bitty still hadn’t recalled his name, and by then it was clearly too late to admit it.
Oh well, he’d probably remember later, when he was trying to fall asleep.
~*~*~*~
“You know,” he called pointedly from the kitchen, “y’all could make yourselves useful and help me put all these things away.”
“Yes! Bro! Did you see that pass?” Holster yelled instead.
“Beauty,” Ransom answered, and then there was the sound of a high-five.
Bitty sighed and stuck his head around the corner to see what they were yelling about now.
SportsCenter, as usual, was on, playing highlights from the Falconers’ game the night before. As Bitty watched, it switched from the on-ice play to an intermission interview.
An intermission interview. With the guy from the grocery store.
Jack Zimmermann.
“Oh my god,” Bitty said for the second time that day, hands to his cheeks, which were indeed burning up.
Holster looked over at him in concern. “Bits? What’s wrong? Why do you look like a tomato?”
“I just spent half an hour casually grocery shopping with Jack fucking Zimmermann because I thought he looked familiar and I didn’t want to admit I couldn’t place him. Oh my god, I could just die.”
Ransom and Holster exchanged glances and then they were on him. “No shit! What’s he like? What did he buy? Tell us everything!”
“I can never shop there again,” Bitty said faintly.
this gives me life. Would not be averse to more.
I wish you would write a fic where . . . Lardo doesn't know the Samwell boys yet, and posts an ad for a guy who is willing to be a nude model that she uses body paint on to create an art piece to show her professor who she is as a person for reasons. Shitty isn't the only guy who applies, but he's the only one that teases her into a full-on paint fight.
Lardo is about ready to scream. Scream and then punch the first boy she sees and then give up on this whole project, probably because she will be in jail for punching the first boy she sees but also because who knew it would be such a fucking pain in the ass to find a nude model. She’s in college now! At a hella liberal school! This should be easy!
But no. No it is not. Because since she posted the ad two nights ago, she has received approximately twenty six dick pics. And half of them were accompanied by some truly horrific pick-up line or date invitations and like holy fucking shit, what the fuck is wrong with people?
When her phone buzzes with a new e-mail, she almost doesn’t bother opening it. Sure, she had wanted to play with gender and the idea of body as a canvas for her midterm but maybe it wasn’t worth it.
Although… if she had to draw another charcoal nude figure, she might die so…
She opens it. This one is from bknight295@samwell.edu.
The first thing she notes is that there is no attachment.
Thank God.
Keep reading
The perfect way to propose to Jack Zimmermann
Bitty: Jack, you’ve already made me the happiest man alive just by being my boyfriend. But would you like to best your own record?
This is so fucking adorable.Someone write a fic off of this.
there's a little bunny in Jack's(or should I say Bitty's) kitchen!!!
Okay, this is probably not what you were expecting (honestly, I wasn’t either) but this is what popped into my head:
Accidental Mage Eric R. Bittle
You see, Mages in the modern world are very rare and very powerful and usually all born into a few select families, that peculiarly all start with the letter N, end with the letter L, and have a Q somewhere in the middle. Obviously, Bitty does not belong to this family but because magic has always been known to do what it wants, Bitty ends up with Magic anyway.
It was just that no one knew it. No one even knew to look for it.
Growing up, Eric R. Bittle was so busy hiding things – namely,, the disgust he felt whenever he saw a human being in camo and his attraction to the male figure – that he didn’t manage to notice all the downright strange things that happened around him rather frequently. The fact that if he were in a really sad mood, it would always rain. The fact that he could sometimes turn off the lights in his room by blinking his eyes. The fact that one time, he wished hard enough for his pie to be done baking right this second and it was.
And so, Eric R. Bittle failed to realize that he was, in fact, a Mage.
But, Petals! you say. What the fuck does this have to do with a bunny??
And to that I say:
ACCIDENTAL MAGES CREATE ACCIDENTAL FAMILIARS.
If asked, Eric R. Bittle would say that he acquired Senor Bunny as a baby present from his mother. If Suzanne Bittle were asked, she would say that it is one of the few baby toys Coach Bittle brought home. If you were to take this information to the football coach in question, he would look quite confused and say that he thought Suzanne received it as a Baby Shower gift.
The truth of the matter is this: At approximately 7 months, Senor Bunny popped into existence and into Bitty’s crib. Because before Mages have the power to summon living familiars, they unthinkingly create stuffed familiars.
Were Bitty born into a Mage-family, this would be an immediate sign that he inherited the gift of magic and trained accordingly. As it is, he was not. And so this act of spontaneous creation went completely unnoticed.
First and foremost, familiars are beings of protection. They guard their Mages from magical danger and keep watch for dragons, evil spirits, and other nasty things- such as legos left on the floor and cough syrup. A newly formed familiar such as Senor Bun cannot protect against human things, but Bitty has never stubbed his toe in his room and has never had to sharpen a pencil. Also, for all the things that Senor Bun cannot help with, he can at least listen. Which some would say is actually the most important function of a familiar.
So Bitty grew up with Senor Bunny and felt an attachment and never questioned why Senor Bunny did not seem to get gross and/or ratty with age.
He also did not question how Senor Bunny got to Samwell, when Bitty was quite certain he had made the decision to grow up and leave his stuffed rabbit behind (especially when he was going to be living in a dorm). Instead, Bitty unpacked him, smiling fondly thinking of his Mother packing Senor Bunny up good at safe and continued with his day.
Now, Bitty has Jack. And, more importantly, Jack has his own apartment. His own apartment that must also be kept safe. And so, even though he still has no idea of his own powers, Bitty created a familiar for that apartment as well.
If asked, Jack would say that Bitty brought the bunny as a welcome present. Bitty thinks that Jack bought it to make it clear the kitchen is his.
Neither think to question it.
In fact, no one ever questions it. When Lardo finds a painting of a bunny in Shitty’s apartment (that she will later move into), she just assumes that it was a present from Bitty. Shitty assumes it is a present from her. When Ransom and Holster find bunny salt and pepper shakers in their new apartment, they also assume gift from Bitty (even though Bitty has not yet been to their apartment, did not help them pack, and does not actually know their address. Ransom and Holster are not very bright.) When Bitty moves out, Chowder cries when he sees the rabbit tablecloth on the kitchen table and in the next four years it stays at The Haus (it disappears when Tango and Whiskey graduate), no one once wonders how it stays perfectly clean and never gets lost, even during a SMH kegster.
Of course, when Bitty turns 25 and he wakes up with a live bunny on his face, he will question that.
But that’s a different story.
Don’t think about Dex with a full sleeve of tattoos.
Don’t think about a decent portion of Dex’s sleeve being representations of people who mean the most to him.
Absolutely don’t think about what tattoos he’s added for each member of the team.
A day in Nursey's life
1. cracked his head skateboarding 2. Got yelled at as Dex was on the phone with 911 3. Tried to get the trick right again while waiting for the ambulance
Me: *rereading a fanfic for the 17th time* ah, yes. *sips tea* a true literary classic
When you’re not in the fandom but hear a gay ship went canon
LISTEN bitty and holster are like the dynamic duo for being dramatic and petty. Sometimes holster will dramatically slam bitty’s door open and fling himself practically into bitty’s lap and be like “you’ll never GUESS what I just heard William Poindexter say” and bitty will literally shove his textbook and homework off the bed and gasp and be like “TELL ME”. And then they literally just spend three hours bitching and gossiping
At Mitch Albom’s “Hockey, the Musical!” For Holster, Bitty, and Check Please! fans everywhere! @ngoziu
I’m a proud member of the bitty is cute without a tooth club shitty come at me bro