Optimi Gang - Tumblr Posts

TFA Optimus: If I'm ever murdered, please leave my case unsolved.

TFP Optimus, exasperated: Why?

TFA Optimus: I wanna be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

G1 Optimus, to all the other Optimi: Alright, listen up, you little shits!

G1 Optimus: Not you, TFA. You’re an angel and we’re glad to have you here.

Bayverse Optimus: Do you think we went overboard with the party decorations?

G1 Optimus: Nah, it's cool.

TFP Optimus: The backyard is on fire.

Shattered Glass Optimus: Aesthetic.

shh theyre preparing for tfa op's birthday

my three horsemen of chaos: g1, sg, and bayverse

G1 Optimus, to TFA Optimus: Okay, now observe.

G1 Optimus: EVERYONE, The floor is now lava!

TFP Optimus: *helps Cyberverse Optimus onto the counter*

Bayverse Optimus: *stands in the same place, deadpan*

Shattered Glass Optimus: *pushes IDW Optimus off the sofa*

G1 Optimus: As you can see, there are three types of people.

idw optimus joins the chaos!

Shattered Glass Optimus: So, uh, any acolytes or priests or somethin’ around?

Bayverse Optimus: I’m somewhat familiar with religion, what is it?

Shattered Glass Optimus: Cool, so like, how do I get to heaven through violence?

Bayverse Optimus: It’s called a crusade, and you need a god’s permission first.

TFA Optimus: I need you to check under my bed for monsters.

Bayverse Optimus: Look, I appreciate your confidence in me, but if there's a monster it's gonna kill us both.

Shattered Glass Optimus: No, no, you misunderstand. I have a “resting bitch” face.

Shattered Glass Optimus: Bayverse Optimus, on the other hand, has the “I want you all to die” face. It’s a subtle but crucial difference.

G1 Optimus: I have a science headcanon.

TFP Optimus: Please, just say you have a hypothesis.

G1 Optimus:

G1 Optimus: So anyways, my science headcanon is –

Bayverse Optimus: Can you imagine not being you, and just living out your days as a weeping willow, though? Beautiful? By the water? Unburdened?

Shattered Glass Optimus: I wanna be the one from Harry Potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything.

TFA Optimus: Bayverse Optimus, you meditate? That’s… actually kinda cool.

Bayverse Optimus: Yes. I picked up the habit after a while.

Bayverse Optimus, gesturing to the place where all the different Optimi are: It’s also mostly a fifteen minute break from this on-going disaster.

TFP Optimus: All I’m saying is 99% of the time, when random crap happens, you are somehow involved!

Shattered Glass Optimus: Can’t you have a little faith in that last 1%?

TFP Optimus: All the Optimus Primes will be able to work together to reach a common goal and achieve peace. What could go wrong?

20 Minutes Later…

Shattered Glass Optimus: *trying to strangle someone*

G1 Optimus: I’m the real Optimus Prime!

Cyberverse Optimus: No, I am!

TFA Optimus: WHTA WHAT WHERE AM I WHO ARE YOU

TFP Optimus: This probably wasn’t such a good idea…

Bayverse Optimus, out of nowhere: MURDER!!!!

Cyberverse Optimus: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.

Bayverse Optimus: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.

Shattered Glass Optimus: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!

G1 Optimus: You know, TFA Optimus, when you generalize, you tell general... lies. TFA Optimus: ... TFA Optimus: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns...?

Cyberverse Optimus: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Cyberverse Optimus: I need my socks.

(yes i know they don't wear socks but this fits ok)

G1 Optimus: If you water water, it grows. TFP Optimus: … What? Cyberverse Optimus: They've got a point.

Shattered Glass Optimus: What is this!?

TFP Optimus: That’s the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend.

Shattered Glass Optimus: Ow! Make it stop!

TFP Optimus: Surrender to your kindness, Shattered Glass Optimus. It’s nice to be nice.

Shattered Glass Optimus: Your guilt is strong, but it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

G1 Optimus: Strength isn’t your strength, adorable cuteness is.

TFA Optimus: Can I use it to control others?

G1 Optimus: Well… yes, sure. Just be righteous about it.

i am only familiar with 8 transformers continuities

;w;

i should do more research

what have i become

personal hc: beast wars optimus (optimus primal oops) hates birds because they remind him of dinosaur megs