Phastos - Tumblr Posts
This is a joking rant so don’t mind me
I love Drukkari fanfiction, they’re usually so cute and adorable. But some of it is so unrealistic. Like what do you mean Makkari was living peacefully in America during 1775? I’m not sure if people remember but that’s when slavery was around. Also, why don’t people ever mention slavery, homophobia, or ableism in this fanfics. Like how do you wanna write about World War Two, the plague, etc but not slavery. You can’t write them thought out all of history but ignore racism because I’ve seen fanfictions where they’re in certain years and they talk about how Makkari or Phastos was chilling in America like why are you lying?
Also I low key wanna see the eternals jump some racists for Makkari, Phastos, Kingo, etc. like jump them like the characters in JJK be jumping curses.
The Eternals of my Marvel/DC/Sky High Crossover Universe
Eternals:
Ajak
Ikaris
Phastos
Gilgamesh
Thena
Kingo
Makkari
Druig
Sprite
The fact that Phastos probably spent .03 seconds coming up with the alias Phil Stoss and then his husband took his last name is so funny to me
*Y/N, druig, and Kingo are sitting on a bench*
Phastos: Why do you guys look so sad?
Y/N: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*Phastos sits down*
Kingo: The bench is freshly painted.
Eternals STEM TRIO: Chaotic Siblings from Infinity to Beyond Part 1 of ???
Pairing(s): platonic!Phastos x Persephone!Eternal (Sephia) x Hecate!Eternal (Kaetlyn); Phastos x Ben; Ikaris x Persephone!Eternal (Sephia); Druig x Hecate!Eternal (Kaetlyn) Word Count: 2.1 k Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, or Eternals; I only own the two characters I made up and their offsprings. Author's Note: A big shout-out to my girl @ethereal-athalia for indulging my madness! I couldn't come up with half of these ideas without you, and answering all of my manic ideas and questions Warning(s): neurodivergent characters being neurodivergent, Ikaris being an idiot, Druig being a simp for his wife, Kaetlyn being her own damn warning, Phastos being tired, discussion of sexuality and the journey of identifying, Kaet & Sephia having offspring (eventually), some sexual themes (but most crack), profanity
Before Tenochtitlan
Phastos along with our girls make up the ultimate STEM dream team that could literally achieve anything.
Phastos is physics, technology, astronomy, mathematics, architecture, and engineering; Kaet is magic, medicine, biochemistry, healthcare, and anatomy & physiology; Sephia is agriculture, zoology, biology, chemistry, food science, and environmental sciences
But whenever Phastos gets stuck on a math problem, the first person he’ll go to would be Sephia
Oh yeah, this pink flower goddess is huge math nerd. Her mind is wired a bit differently from others, and numbers just make sense to her.
And while sometimes her short attention span will get the best of her, when she is in the zone, she is in the ZONE
One time she and Phastos were stuck on a math theorem during the Renaissance, and didn’t sleep for about a week straight.
Kaet ended up using her shadows to swaddle them straight jacket style for them to sleep, literally to only wake up 3 hours later with Sephia poking her cheek to wake her up to tell her that they proved it.
But Kaet is also the biggest hypocrite because she will research and dissect organisms for days on end with Phastos too.
These three invented the term “insomnia.”
Phastos does typically have a healthy sleeping schedule unless he is really focused, Sephia is the same in a slightly more extreme manner, but Kaet will deliberately not sleep until she has found her answer or satisfied with her work.
Everyone wants her to sleep, and her reply will probably be something along the lines of “can’t die, won’t sleep, suck my magic dick.”
The only one that can really manage to get her to sleep at times is Druig, and that’s during the times he has to physically pry the tools out of her hands and strip her down and wrangle her into a shower before forcing her to cuddle with him to sleep
He’ll also make sure to sneak in some sexy times with her in the shower for good measure
Honestly, Kaet lowkey really loves the attention and will purposely stay up to late just to rile Druig up
Listen, she can't help it if all that pent up energy transitions to mind-blowing sex
But she also wants to find out the physical limits of her own bodily functions by staying awake as long as possible, and to see if she’ll eventually hallucinate.
"I want to see if this rib cage can turn into a xylophone"
Once it got so bad that Sephia made a sleeping powder of dried gardenias and valerian to blow in Kaet’s face. She immediately conked out, and sleep for a solid week.
When Ajak confronted Sephia, her only response was so fucking chaotic and unhinged.
“Oh, don’t worry, Kaety’s not poisoned. She’s just drugged.”
And everyone just stared at her while Sephia was smiling like there was nothing wrong in the world.
On the plus side, she monitored Kaet’s vitals and functions in her coma and was able to get some really great data on the benefits of those plants used for anti-anxiety and insomnia medication
This launched an era of the two gals cultivating and drying various plants to be used as medicine for various ailments and even pain relievers
They definitely used the other Eternals to test the drugs (mostly Ikaris) and some of the side effects were…interesting to say the least
One-time, Ikaris was so high off this preliminary version of anesthesia from poppy seeds that he might have gone on a 3-hour spiel about how Sephia’s hair was so super pretty, and how it smelled so nice, and how it looked so soft, and how he would cut his own ear if it meant he could see her boobs and cu-
Don’t worry the drugs kicked in again before he could finish (in more ways than one lol)
Speaking of Ikaris, while Kaetlyn is the most protective over she sweet Sephia, Phastos is a VERY close second
This inventor man does not believe for a second that this puffed-up chested man with his dumb quaffed hair is good enough for Sephia
Sephia would be the only Eternal who is genuinely interested and fascinated by Phastos' ideas and inventions, and will ask very good questions
And he's beyond grateful for her
On another note, just imagine the dread that overtook Phastos when Ajak basically assigned him on Kaet & Sephia watch duty.
Poor man just wanted Arishem to send him to another planet right then and there.
So…when Phastos learned that Ajak died, he was extremely sad…but mostly terrified because this meant only one thing now
HE had to be the mother figure of both Kaetlyn and Sephia
Throwback to the image at the top is literally all you need to know about the dynamic between this man and the two gals he’s in between
Fun fact about Sephia: sometimes she will be really quiet, and her mind will be like a million miles away, and then she will think of the most random stuff and start giggling like crazy
Phastos actually thought she was possessed by a demon and wanted Kaet to perform an exorcism…only to remember that Kaetlyn is even crazier
Phastos has seen Kaet do the Naruto run before it was even a thing at the most random times and always with the most chaotic crackling laughter the world has ever known
Kaet has purposely summoned and captured the weirdest monsters and ghosts FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE of freaking out Phastos
Migraines have become a good portion of this man’s daily lifestyle
But luckily, Sephia is there to save his mental health by brewing the most calming tea and shoving a super fluffy animal for him to cuddle with whilst asking him questions about his inventions
The three came up with their own STEM TRIO manifesto around the same time the Magna Carta came out
Phastos and Sephia are each other's worst enable when it comes to missing social engagements because they will literally come up with the worst excuses for their absence when facing Ajak's interrogation
"Phastos, why were you not at the party last night?"
"I-" "He had to help me make a contraption to help an aging ape give birth to a mutated baby"
"..." "..."
"What she said"
"Sephia, these celebrations are in your honor, it offends the chief if you do not make an appearance."
"Maybe the chief should stop mistreating his goats, and then maybe she would consider"
"Yeah! Tell 'em Phastos!"
Meanwhile, Kaetlyn and Druig are watching this entire exchange and feeding each other snacks as Kaet is sitting on Druig's lap
When Kaetlyn and Sephia left with Druig at Tenochtitlan, they secretly came back and begged Phastos to go with them as they were setting up the community
When Phastos refused, the three promised each other that they would always make sure to keep in contact with one another
Lordy Lord, pray for Ben when he's given the shovel talk by these two girls
Although in the end, they are like the sisters he's never had, and only Phastos is the one who is bothered (not really) by their constant unexpected visits
Modern Times:
When Phastos found Ben and started dating him, Kaetlyn and Sephia fully vetted the poor human
They remembered how broken and devastated their brother was in the aftermath of the Bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and they were not about to let someone else hurt him
By the way, Kaetlyn and Sephia were the first Eternals to know Phastos was gay since they were the only ones he trusted to come out to
It was the same the other way around too
Phastos was the first one ever to help Sephia really understand her sexuality (demisexual) since she thought something was wrong with her since she had never really felt any sexual attraction like that to anyone ever in the 7,000 years she lived on Earth
She has tried throughout multiple occasions tried to have sex, but it never really worked out and she never felt those feelings associated with sexual attraction
For the longest time, she thought she was asexual until Ikaris turned out not to be dead from the sun, and she’s connected with him on a more emotionally intimate level than ever before, and now she’s feeling all these new feelings that are scaring the crap out of her
There were instances that she felt attraction and even had fantasies over certain fictional characters but she to experience something in her head as a fantasy as opposed to experiencing it in reality was a whole different topic of conversation
And she’s even experienced romantic feelings whenever she tried to put herself in relationships, but those romantic feelings only stayed romantic and she never felt any sexual feelings
So, when those new feelings emerged…a conference call was set up between the STEM Trio and it was a chaos call that was primarily about going over literature of the sexuality spectrum and the fluidity of identification
When Ikaris had trouble wrapping his head around it when Sephia came out to him, he ended up getting a whole explanation on it from Phastos and Kaet over Zoom
But yeah, these three are each other’s ride or die at any point of time
They literally choked down their hatred for this man so that their girl could have the chance to be in a happy relationship
On the plus side, these three always went to Pride together
Druig usually stayed at the Amazon during these events because he’s not a big fan of the crowds and despises the practice of rainbow capitalism
Once gay marriage was legalized, both Kaet and Sephia were the witnesses for Phastos and Ben’s courthouse wedding
Phastos DID try to hide Jack’s adoption…only for Sephia and Kaet to already be in the house when the couple brought him home for the first time and announce themselves as Jack’s godmothers
Their disappointment was imminent and their hearts could only be healed by holding their new godson
It’s just one heart attack after another for Phastos with these two girls around
Ben and Sephia get along so freaking well
They are constantly swapping recipes; Sephia crochets baby clothes and stuffed animals for Jack and Ben sends her the pictures; and whenever Phastos and Ben need a night out or are burned out, Sephia will be right there helping out
Sephia would be the one to tell Jack no matter what, he would always be perfect in her eyes, and teaches him that his differences from others are the things that would also turn into his strengths
Kaet is there bringing the chaos for baby Jack; she’s constantly popping her head into view when he least expects it and makes the sweetest giggles in the universe
One time, Phastos caught Kaet’s shadows tossing Jack in the air with him laughing without a care in world…he fainted
But Ben thought it was cute though so he was cool with it
But Kaet would also be the one to teach Jack the importance of staying true to yourself regardless of the pressure of whatever society may force upon him, and always encourages him to think like a mad genius
Seeing Phastos with his family gave Kaet the little push that made her realize that she really wants to start a family with Druig as well as helping her gain hope for humanity by just being around Ben and Jack
It had always been on the back of her mind, she always liked kids
But she had lost so much faith in humanity and the world around her that she was always putting it off
When she and Druig were pregnant, Kaet immediately set up a conference call with Sephia and Phastos to tell them before the rest of the eternals
When the twins (Laoise and Aisling) were born, Kaet asked Sephia and Phastos if they were willing to be the godparents (along with Makkari and Gilgamesh)
Phastos cried just as hard holding his baby goddaughters for the first time as he did when he first held baby Jack, and cried again when he held his godson a few years later
Phastos also became the godfather for Sephia’s and Ikaris’ kids (he also cried when he held all of their kids)
BTW remember Ikaris' drugged out confession from above?
You can bet your entire life savings that Phastos made sure to record every single glorious second of it and then played it Ikaris’ and Sephia’s wedding as part of his toast
Ikaris’ face turned so fucking red and he just wanted to DIE
Sephia thought it was super cute and funny and reassured him that he is the only one who has seen her boobs like that
There’s someone for everyone lol
Also, Phastos was the one to walk Sephia down the aisle since she looks up to him like he’s her tech-savvy older brother who will always teach her how to use her computer because she is terrible with tech
STEM trio became the STEM Parent Trio
When they get together, they trade gossip whilst sipping wine and watching Bluey and playing that fantasy game when you create a map using rice whilst cuddling with their Squishmallows
One-time all three got so plastered, they designed a whole-ass utopian city with modern technology whilst also being environmentally friendly and also filled with magic and affordable healthcare and reusable energy
Muffin reminds Phastos too much of Kaetlyn back in the old days and he straight up got a war flashback in “Faceytalk” and “The Sleepover”
All that being said and done, despite all the headaches and near heart attacks, there isn’t anything in the world Phastos would trade for Kaetlyn and Sephia; he loves his two crazy sisters more than anything
Whenever Halloween came, it became a tradition that Kaetlyn and Druig would go to Chicago so that Laoise and Aisling would go trick-or-treating with Jack
One year Aisling went as Silena Beauregard, Jack as Charles Beckendorf, and Laoise as Clarisse La Rue from Percy Jackson
Phastos made the lightning staff for Laoise to complete her costume
That was a mistake to say the least
But that’s a story for another time
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Memes for my Persephone!Eternal & Hecate!Eternal AU
*WARNING*: these memes are real bad, only proceed if you are prepared to experience high levels of cringe, also this contains spoilers for the AU (sort of) so you might not get it...but I'm bored and I don't wanna do work
Tagging: @ethereal-athalia, @aphroditesmoon, @valeskafics, @bel-bottoms, @grimbunnie, @bellamys-girls, @lex-g-t, @mimireaken, @futureartpresaon, @spacetalbot, @beananacake, @its-actually-minicika, @junopur, @vikingqueen28, @dreaming-for-an-escape, @allisonoops12, @bibissparkles
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Laurie: *breathes*
The start of the romance of a lifetime
Mama Prime Eternal just can't get a break
Sucks to Suck
Everyday for 6000+ years
Sephia: Don't take this wrong way, but I'm really surprised with how understanding of my sexuality.
Ikaris: ummm... *cues flashback*
Ikaris: I had help
When Thena and Mara aren't home
She's got her priorities figured out alrite???
No one:
Ya gotta respect the hustle
Love at first sight
If you made it this far... I am so sorry
More Eternals Memes & Incorrect Quotes
Ft. Persephone!Eternal Reader & Hecate!Eternal Reader & the kiddos
Notes: Ya girl got bored and she doesn't want to work on her presentations that are like 35% of her grade. PS: If anyone recognizes which scene I used in Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends in that one gif, y'all are the real ones.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Sephia, playing with baby Jack: So how the ride from the hospital?
Phastos: Oh you know, pretty uneventful.
*20 minutes earlier*
Phastos: I'M BREAKING THE WINDOW!
Ben: *on the phone* We locked our baby in the car and people are judging us!
Phastos: I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA BREAK IT!
Ben: Do not break the window! You'll get glass on him.
Phone operator: Sir, please tell your wife to relax. Everything is going to be okay.
Ben: That's a man.
Operator: Really?
Phastos: DON'T WORRY JACK! DADDY’S COMING FOR YOU!
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Laurie: What are you in the mood for?
Mara: World Domination
Laurie: Seems a bit ambitious
Mara: Laurie, you are my world
Laurie: Awwww
Mara:
Laurie:
Mara:
Laurie: OH
*Bonus scene*
Ikaris: I sense a disturbance in the force
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
No One:
Arthur & Uriel meeting for the first time and already vibing:
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Arthur: I guess I’m too tough to cry
Agalia: 20 minutes ago you were crying about snakes
Arthur: THEY DON’T HAVE ANY ARMS
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Ikaris: Hey Gil, I brought Laurie for that playdate
Mara: *Snarling & Feral & Foaming*
Ikaris: *GRABS LAURIE*AHHHHH, GET YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER GIL
Gilgamesh: She don’t bite
Ikaris: YES SHE DO
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
I'm sorry, is this not what happened?
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Laoise: Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
Aisling: You are not a burden!
Hamish *blinking in morse code*: Murder is a-okay
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
*Ikaris and Mara arguing about something*
Mara: Tell him where he can put his grapes Uri!
Uriel *signing*: In the fridge!
Mara:
Uriel:
Ikaris:
Mara: Yeah! In the fridge
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Kaetlyn: I'll just be a few minutes, you won't even notice I'm gone!
*Not even two minutes later*
Druig:
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
*Coming up with the Unimind Title*
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
*Kingo in his ho era*
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────･ ｡ﾟ⟡ 🌑 ⟡ ˚｡ ･──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
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Every Gay Friend Group Has:
A Bimbo/Himbo
A mean bisexual
An even meaner Lesbian/Gay
She/Theys and He/Theys
A token straight who is on tin ice
An astrology bitch who has everyone's chart memorized
And a Short King
No bcs i started crying during the phastos and fam scene while watching eternals for the first time. It made me so happy to see queer poc rep, and especially TRUE queer rep, not whatever it is they botched with loki.
Marvel fans who genuinely want lgbtq representation:
“we want gay rep!”
Marvel:
“here’s phastos. Also, he has a husband and an adorable son. We’re also going to have him give you the first gay kiss on the big screen in the mcu. “
Marvel fans who genuinely want lgbtq representation: “YES!!”
Marvel fans that just want to sexualize homosexuality:
“No, we wanted that with WHITE people. Also they need to be a lot younger. We have a few characters you can select from…”
marvel incels and critics:
“we literally didn’t want any of that…. Like at all.”
I was rewatching eternals (as you do), and i started to get teary-eyed during the phastos and his fam scene. In theaters i was full on sobbing, like tears running down my face. I think this says a lot about how little queer rep there is in mainstream media.
the fact that eternals has TEN FUCKING AMAZING CHARACTERS and i see only druig when i search for the others this is so- i mean, i love druig, you know, he's amazing, but damn.
all i want for christmas is kingo, ikaris and sersi content on ao3 .
A little something I wrote on twitter and wanted to share here as well
Eternals is a great movie, and some of y'all just don't want to admit it because you're salty about the diverse cast and crew
Like seriously, the story was interesting and makes me want to know more, the visuals were incredible, and Chloé Zhao did an amazing job with a big cast (which is an immensely difficult task). I really do not understand the hate towards the movie...
I'm not saying the movie is perfect, or that it's the best mcu film, cause it's not. But y'all are WAY too harsh with your criticism in my opinion
PHASTOS/BEN ART, YES!
I watched the Eternals and I found it quite nice, so here is a doodle of something absolutely NOT happening in the movie! (so, don't worry: they are no spoilers here)-
just me imagining Phastos protecting his husband
What’s kind of bothering me right now, is how for years we were begging for representation of the alphabet mafia
And when we finally got good representation from an older POC who was married to another POC, y’all don’t wanna hype him up like you did for Loki for that one bullshit line about bisexuality that it had.
Like what is this? What are we doing? Where is the love for this man and his beautiful family?
Good morning to everyone except the girl sitting behind me in eternals who said nothing when Ikaris and Seris literally fucked but went "ewwww" when Phastos and Ben kissed. Go die in a hole.