Random Shitpost - Tumblr Posts
honestly yeah he is a literal npc but I would love to play a game with a npc as good as gummigoo he's so pookie
"Gummigoo is human to me"
Did you not fucking watch episode 2 properly he's a NCP who had a existential crisis girlie your being the bad kind of delusional
Two and Two on the tv, don't mind the messy unorganized stuff on the table 💔💔
(And the bad lighting on image)
If I was in a horror movie:
Me: *picks up the phone* howdy
"Are you alone"
Emotionally yeah I'm pretty alone. In a more literal sense no I'm not alone I can literally see you in the goddamn closet. You're absolute shit at hiding. Get your dumbass out here. I got cheeseballs.
"... what"
Do you want cheese or pepperoni pizza?
*after midnight by Chappell roan starts playing*
“Couldn’t be a good, good girl even if I tried” /lyr (Chappell roan)
Me, to the unsuspecting humans: Ah yes, this “relatable” lyric is so relatable!! I’m such a bad girl!!! 😝😝😝😝
Me, internally: *sigh* yet another day of pretending to be human! Looks like I’ve successfully fooled those weird creatures again! 😁😁
Someone tell me why my shitposts get so much more attention than my in depth posts?? 😭😭🙏🏽🙏🏽
I’m just so genuinely confused bro 😭
Tumblr warps my sense of time istg. I saw a post from someone I follow on my dash while scrolling and then while checking to see if anyone else I follow has posted something, I see that the same blog is marked as having posted 43 minutes ago. I’m like “oh! They must’ve posted another thing since I saw the first post bc I saw that post like 2 hours ago!” Nope. It was the same post. I just have no sense of time.
Also I’ll be like “hmmmm when did I post this?? It feels like maybe two days ago but it could’ve also been this morning. Idk 🤷”
Thinking about that one American missionary dude who went with to Sentinel Islands illegally and got skewerd.
Leave them the fuck alone they happy.
How to win a Guinness World record - find the wierdest shit you can think of doing, do it within a time frame.
Some babies look like generic baby™. I don't know how to explain it. They look like what's you'd get If you googled "baby".
why on this did earth did the 8yr old me have a crush on the Anubis dude from power rangers SPD
From someone who's been vegetarian all along, out of poultry and seafood, prawn was the absolute must disgusting thing I've ever eaten.
It's not much about the taste but the texture.
It was like eating a dried up citrus, or a non- juicy but succulent worm. The very first bite me me so uncomfortable. Horrifying.
For being a person with a lot of anger I sure do tear up fast
Ever since the mask era I've come to realise I rely mostly on lip movements to understand what someone's telling
'Family' Gathering
Swap!Maple: Alright... we all know why we're here. 'Starts pacing back and forth' We can tell Maple that her best friend / former coworker is torturing her somewhat nephews for the sake of science, or we can be totally oblivious to it and never speak of it to her.
Insanity!Maple: I don't really care, do what you want.
Al: It's wrong to see children getting hurt, especially because it something I've gone through. I say we tell her.
Twiggy: I agree with Al. I don't like the fact that I know they are getting hurt and that I'm not doing anything about it. 'crossing her arms and slump's back in her chair'
Flowey: You all are idiots. I want to see how this plays out.
Al: Why did we bring him here!? He isn't even a Maple!
Swap!Maple: Because he is a close friend of Maple. He deserves a say in this. Besides, I like him, way different than my Flowey. It's very interesting. Twiggy isn't a Maple either.
Al: She's pretty much our creator so it's- Nevermind, your not even listening. 'crossing arms'
Swap!Maple: Alright, it's a 2/2, not counting Insanity because she doesn't care. So we wait until one us changes our minds!
Twiggy: You didn't vote 'points at Swap'
Swap!Maple: Well, I don't care either. Sure, I encourage scientific discovery, but I don't really care about anyone from any other universe that isn't a Maple.
Al: Riiiight. Whatever you say.
Flowey: This is pathetic.
Insanity: 'leans towards Flowey' Say that again towards my Wife and I'll tear your petals off one by one and then throw you into the CORE. No one will remember you but me, and it'll be a very fowl memory. 'smiles towards Swap' Alright! I think this meeting is over! Lets go. 'grabs Flowey'
Flowey: wait WAIT WAIT I don't wanna dieeeee.
Tina: Edd(x7)
Edd: What. Do. you. the fuck. want??
Tina: makes innocent face You're much of danger sugary person, you barely control yourself even- and a cute fat asshole
Edd: Gasp- Excuse me- now a fat shaming?? Im drinking cola, because i feel like it, and even have juices in me! But aren't you the most spicest in here? Even you can't control yourself too, sexy whore..
They glaring at eachother for a while
Matt: ehh, guys?
Tina&Edd: What. Matt.
Matt: Are you flirting or fighting?
Tina: flirting Edd: fighting.
Edd: THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?? Tina: Ehhh-- furiously blushing
Matt: oh welp bye- he left
Tom: Oh. I don't wanna know anymore.
Enemies love? The biggest one. Just random shitpost and a basically a short one.