Seriously Tho - Tumblr Posts
i cant
i think brain cancers the stupidest shit to ever be
cancer in its fullest
like wtf why do you exist
taking away the people ik
❖ i am all of you // lee jihoon
woozi x gn!reader, 1.7k+ words
tags: requested by @mirxzii, established relationship, producer!woozi, scriptwriter!yn, hurt/comfort
warnings: pet names (babe, darling), food mention
summary: on the days you feel exhausted, lost to the clouds of fear and fatigue, you wonder whether anything in the world will ever be fine again. not to worry, though. because jihoon always finds you, and he brings you home.
Jihoon kind of misses you.
Okay, that's a lie, because he actually misses you a lot, because even though you're right here and you say hello to him in the morning and you eat your meals together and you say “I love you” to him at night, you're still not… here.
You get like this, sometimes, where you're all stuck in your head and he can't get you out. Anything he says doesn't seem to register, not really, because you'll hum in response before drifting away again to somewhere he can't reach.
“Y/N?”
Jihoon knocks on your door, gentle. You emerged from your room to have breakfast, but you've been stuck inside ever since, and, well. It's like he said.
He kind of misses you a lot.
“Jihoon?”
“Are you okay in there?” he asks. “Just checking up on you, babe. I haven't heard from you in a while.”
“I'm okay,” you say back, and even though you're only on the other side of the door, you sound distant. “I'm just tired, that's all.”
He hums, sceptical. “Are you sure? Can I come in?”
“I don't see why not,” you say, and he opens the door and cautiously peers inside.
You’re lying in bed, pillows propped up behind your head, quite literally doing nothing other than staring emptily up at the ceiling. When Jihoon enters the room, you look over in response to the sound and wave at him from the bed looking confused but also very, very exhausted, and something in his heart twists sadly.
He walks over to you, leans over, and presses a hand to your forehead. You look up in confusion, going a little cross-eyed as you try to see his hand on your head.
“What are you doing?”
“Checking for a fever,” Jihoon responds matter-of-factly. He takes his hand away, presses it against his own forehead before feeling yours once again.
“Hey, hey, I'm fine,” you say, waving his hand away. “I'm not sick.”
“Then why are you in bed?” he says. “It's so sunny today, Y/N. Normally, you'd be the one pestering me to get out of bed so we can go on those walks that you love so much. What's wrong, Y/N? Can you please tell me what's wrong?”
You fall silent, looking away.
See, he thinks he kind of knows what's wrong.
Not the exact reason, of course, but he knows that you're getting this tired and withdrawn from him because there's something in your life that's making you overwhelmed. Whether it's a situation that's happened or something you fear will happen in the future, if it scares you enough then you'll end up retreating in this way.
Jihoon knows it's your way of coping when things get too much, but it frustrates him, because all he wants to do is take care of you but you won't let him in.
“Please,” he says. Gently, simply. “Can you tell me what's wrong so that I can help?”
So he asks. He asks, and waits so, so patiently, silently begging you to please let him in.
You slowly shake your head.
“Nothing's wrong,” you say, and then shrug, like everything's fine. “I just need to take a nap.”
“I had to wake you up at noon for breakfast, today,” Jihoon points out, frowning. “And it's four in the afternoon. Why do you need a nap?”
You just shake your head again. “I just do.”
He opens his mouth, ready to refute, but you abruptly pull the covers over yourself and bury your head into your pillow again. A clear sign you want to end the conversation.
“Goodbye, Jihoon,” you say, voice muffled by the sheets, and Jihoon sighs.
“I'll let you know when dinner is ready, okay?” he says, and you make a soft noise in reply. He looks over at you again, before walking out of your room and closing the door.
───────────── ⛅
It’s only thirty minutes later that he knocks on your door again.
He can’t help it. You two aren’t exactly the clingiest couple in the world: what with Jihoon’s work and your busy life, you can’t really afford to be so codependent. There have been days where you barely speak to each other, both absorbed in projects that take up all your time and leave you unable to indulge in the typical cuddly affection that other couples take part in.
This is what happens, he supposes, when a music producer and scriptwriter decide to date. Not that he minds, because he loves you, and he knows you love him too, and neither of you mind the lack of physical touch because often, the knowledge of that love is enough.
Just because you’re not the clingiest doesn’t mean that he likes not spending time with you, though.
Especially when you’re right there.
“Y/N? I’m coming in,” he says, and opens the door before you can answer. You’re lying in exactly the same position that he’d left you in, and you look over as the door opens again with a mildly annoyed expression on your face, as if Jihoon was interrupting your very precious time of doing absolutely nothing.
The mild irritation melts into confusion as you spot the things he’s holding. “Why did you bring your laptop with you?”
“Laptop and chocolate,” Jihoon emphasises, holding up the bag of chocolate coins in his other hand as he pushes the door shut with his elbow. “I’m here to do my work. And give you chocolate. Move over, will you?”
You give him a curious look, but still obediently shuffle over in bed so that he can climb in and sit there beside you, back against the headboard, opening up his laptop and immediately clicking on his emails. He doesn’t look at you, seemingly absorbed in answering whatever is sitting in his inbox, the bag of chocolate plopped onto the covers between you two.
“Jihoon?”
Jihoon hums in response.
“What are you doing?”
He glances at you briefly, and pats your head. “Don’t worry. I’m not here to drag you into doing anything. Just pretend I’m not here, okay?” He goes back to his work, and then adds, “Oh, and eat the chocolate.”
You furrow your brow, mystified by his behaviour. This is… weird. You’ve had episodes like this before, where the foreboding lump in your throat joins forces with the anxiety that sits, ice-cold, in your chest, and you end up with a bone-deep exhaustion that leaves you terrified to do anything at all. Every time, Jihoon seems to understand, leaving you to your own devices to work through the fatigue until you feel better. He might bring you soup, or remind you to brush your teeth, but never anything like this.
The soft click-clacking of his keyboard is quite soothing, you’ll admit, but it’s still not quite enough for you to stop teetering on the edge of this crushing exhaustion and finally sleep.
“Jihoon,” you murmur, looking up at him again. “Jihoon, seriously, what are you doing?”
His fingers stop moving, and he looks over at you once more, before looking at the untouched bag of chocolate coins. Wordlessly, he opens it, unwraps one, and presses it against your lips.
“I’m feeding you chocolate coins,” he says, and something about the deadpan way he says it makes you smile, allowing him to push the chocolate into your mouth. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“No, I can see that,” you say around a mouthful of sticky, warm sweetness. Hm. Eating it makes the weight in your chest feel a little lighter, actually. “I just…”
Jihoon raises an eyebrow at you, but there’s no unkindness in his expression. He unwraps another chocolate for you, and you dutifully eat it, letting the overwhelming sweetness coat your teeth as you melt it down in your mouth, making the most of the taste.
“What are you doing here, though?” you ask, as your boyfriend deposits the metal wrappers on the bedside table next to him. “Babe, if you’re here to take care of me… it’s okay. I’m fine.”
He looks at you again, and smiles. “Silly. I’m not here to look after you.”
Wait, what?
“You can do whatever you need to do,” Jihoon continues, as he goes back to his laptop and starts click-clacking away again. “Rest, sleep, try to turn yourself invisible, whatever. You do you, darling. I’m just here because I want to spend time with you.”
“Jihoon,” you breathe out, touched. You are certain that there are stars in your eyes. “Jihoon, I love you.”
He chuckles, and finishes sending off the email. He jostles you around in bed for a moment, pulling you close until you’re resting against him, and though the position is uncomfortable, you don’t protest.
“I love you too,” he says, patting your head affectionately. “Now, don’t worry about what I’m doing, alright? Just let me spend time with you.”
Jihoon may pretend otherwise, but he really is soft. He gives and he gives and he gives, always, and that’s what he’s doing right now. He’s giving you all of him, under the pretence that he’s doing this for himself but you know him, know him like the other half of your heart, and your chest squeezes at how gentle he is with you, especially now. When you’re at your most vulnerable.
And instead of getting frustrated at your distance, at how far away you were floating from him, he brings your back down to Earth, pretending it’s all for him but you know, you know that he’s bringing you back to safety for you.
Pressed up against him, leaning into his side, you finally let yourself cry, the hot, stinging tears tracing paths down your cheeks. Jihoon doesn’t say anything, and instead pulls you closer, fingers threading through your hair as you cry quietly against him until you tire yourself out fully and there are no tears left for you to cry anymore.
It’s kind of cathartic—freeing, the way you let yourself succumb to the exhaustion, comforted by the knowledge that Jihoon is there beside you as your tears die down, and you lie there beside him, taking deep, shaky breaths, heartbeat finally slowing down.
And at last, you close your eyes and sleep.
fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @sakufilms @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @raevyng @isabellah29 @hrts4hanniehae @mcu-incorrect @dokyeomkyeom @suraandsugar @melodicrabbit
THAT IS SUCH A SHITPOST. But I have to say a tiny sorry to everyone for the lack of content!
I’m not saying it’s bad I’m taking a little break, in fact it’s against my will at some point!
See my gay ass brought over my girlfriend to myself, from another city and well, our time together is running out. We normally live about 300 kilometres away from each other so having her is a great honour and I want us to spend the best time we can!
Another thing is that I’m switching jobs more frequently than I switch my socks. I just signed out from a work that didn’t lie well with me, the methods were very weird and I’m pretty sure not everything was 100% right, but whatever! Now I work in the café and it’s by far, the most aesthetic gastronomy job you can get. I love it here and the team is sweet and great
AnOTHER THING IS. Me and my girlfriend are quite literally tasting living on our own. My aunt left for vacation with her husband and my cousin and they asked us to move into their flat and take care of their dog. And honestly it’s so wild but also sorta fun??? We walk the dog, we do groceries, we cook together, play on Xbox and simply plan our future together. It’s exciting!:)
So yeah, hiatus happened because there’s a whole lot of shit happening and I have no time to focus and draw. But don’t worry! There is a lot coming, once I get ahold of my pen again.
I was literally too lazy to pick up iPen and drew this with my finger. Yes.
BRO WHAT HAPPENED?????? 💀💀💀
well tally twt is up in flames again.
How is everyone here? :)
I’m sorry for everything you went through, but you could show us mercy. You could spare my son.
It’s crazy how I can get a literal C or lower in math class, but when it comes time to write a fanfic and I have to know how much a character makes in a year (something completely irrelevant to the plot), I become freakin’ Albert Einstein…doing research, crunching the numbers.
Someone hold my hand and do that little thumb rubby thingy.
This is so good, he needs more attention.
I feel like you already know who I’m in here to request for 🧍♀️
But may I please request some Shu hcs for how he would act with an s/o who really likes all the pretty clothes he makes and wants to wear them but is v insecure 👉🏻👈🏻 tyyyyyy
(Watch me be back later for some yan hcs but for now I just want some fluff hskdjskdjslfj)
slihfaavjdg yes I did indeed expect this caitie but thank you so much for your request! I hope I did your boy justice^^
Shu with an s/o that wants to wear his clothes but is insecure
We all know Shu is an admirer of beauty,always looking for new inspiration for his clothes
He takes his work very seriously which is why, when he first showed you his newest creation, he was very proud of himself on the inside when you praised his craftmanship with eyes that were practically sparkling
He explains to you that he created the design with you in mind so to him it is only logical for you to wear it so he can truly see if the final product was adequate compared to what he had envisioned
He definitely didn´t just want to see his s/o in the pretty clothes he himself had made, ridiculous
So Shu was a bit disgruntled when you stuttered and told him you weren´t sure if you should wear it. He just didn´t understand. Was it not to your liking? But he had spent so much extra effort to make sure it fit your tastes!
He´s a bit hurt but doesn´t want to show weakness to you so instead he said “ Goodness. Do you not realize that I used the finest of fabrics to create this piece of art? It would be a shame for you to not try it on.”
He tightly clutches his hands as he awaits your answer, silently fearing that he had done something wrong when you raised your voice once again to answer him
“Shu, I know how much time and effort you spent on this. How much you spend on all of these clothes you make and I love them so much I can´t even express it into words! I really do! And if I´m honest I always dreamed about wearing them one day but...”, you trailed off there
“But? I´m sorry to say but I do not see the problem,darling.”
“Well I....don´t think I deserve to wear these clothes.They´re so pretty and perfect and then I´m so....imperfect in every way. I did not want to insult your work like that!”
To say it took him by surprise was an understatement. All this time, you had felt like this? Did you not know what joy you brought him, how beautiful you were to him? If he was honest he knew that he wasn´t the most doting boyfriend out there, especially in terms of compliments but he hadn´t imagined it to end like this. So after some deliberation he decided to answer.
“Nonsense. I made these clothes to perfectly fit your image so if you perceive them as perfect then that means you yourself must be perfect as well. I did not not sew this only for it to collect dust on a mannequin, it is meant to be worn by you so.....please.... do try it on.
Hearing Shu of all people say “please” came as a surprise so in spite of yourself, you decided to comply to his wishes and stepped behind a curtain to change into the extravagant attire. Looking into the mirror in front of you, you almost didn´t recognize yoursef. You don´t think you had ever worn something so pretty before and you felt giddy knowing it was your boyfriend that had hand-crafted it for you. So despite the uneasy feeling of nervousness that bubbled up in your stomach, you drew the curtain to the side so you were facing Shu once again
It was quiet for a few seconds as Shu scanned you with his eyes as he came closer to you, twirling you around and inspecting you from every angle. You felt even more self-concious when your boyfriend was so upclose and gazing at you so intensly but then his voice broke the silence.
“Beautfiful.”
It was this one whispered word that completely changed the atmosphere you experienced from tense to joyous and you felt a blush creep up on your cheeks. Shu had called you beautiful?
“It is just as I expected, the colors and design I chose fit you perfectly. As you can see, there is no reason to doubt your own worth when you are so clearly sparkling like a precious jewel right in front of my eyes.”
At this, Shu´s eyes almost uncharacteristically softened as he gently grasped your hands in his.
“So y/n, know that I wouldn´t have chosen you if you weren´t absolutely perfect in my eyes. All of these so-called imperfections only further emphasize all of your wonderful qualities, they are what make you whole.”
Then his cheeks darkened as he realized what he had just said, not one to openly show his affection like this without Mademoiselle´s help.
But looking at your happy and gentle smile, Shu couldn´t help but think that it had been worth it to express his true thoughts just this once
imagine being a gavinners fan from like wisconsin or some other place like that. vermont idk and they announce a world tour, so you buy tickets for the nearest location. and they start off in LA, their home city, makes sense.
but then you get an email that says NEVERMIND and you get an immediate refund on cashapp. and you look it up and apparently someone was fucking shot at the first concert and klavgav got set on fire and the bassist went to jail for drug smuggling and murder charges. and now they’re announcing a breakup. what do you even do with that fucking onslaught of information
art takes hours to produce and seconds to consume so dont act suprised when artists get upset when their posts only get likes and no reblogs
similarly a piece of writing that takes a few minutes to read could have weeks of work behind it… dont take creativity for granted when ur getting it for free
Love when artists put “reblogging for the morning crowd!” “Reblogging for the weekend crowd!” in the tags to justify reblogging their own art. But lets not lie to ourselves anymore. Im reblogging for the exact same crowd i just need them to know i mean business. Im reblogging for the didn’t take a hint the first time crowd. Reblogging for the crowd that needs to understand i spent 20 hours on this.
If your advocacy for truama/abuse survivors isn’t inclusive of
Survivors who are not women
Survivors who developed hypersexuality
Survivors with personality disorders
Survivors with anger issues
Survivors with did/osdd
Survivors with substance abuse issues
Then maybe you should start making an effort to make it. I’m not asking anyone to shift focus to a topic they don’t understand, but you dont have to become an expert in hypersexuality or personality disorders to not actively exclude or demonize them
There was once a boy who had a little nine-year-old brother. He was so cute and lovable that no one could look at him without liking him, and he himself loved him above everything else in the world.
He was his best friend after all.
He and his little brother then had a plan, to run away. Unfortunately, the day that they chose to run, tragedy then struck. The boys got cornered and when the boy awaken his little brother was gone.
The boy could not be comforted, and wept day and night and locked himself away in his for over two years. Soon afterwards, after his brother had been buried, he appeared at night in the places where he had sat and played during his life, and if the boy wept, he wept also. When morning came, he disappeared.
When the boy would not stop crying, he came one night in the little white shroud in which he had been laid in his coffin, and with his wreath of flowers round his head. He stood on the bed at his feet, and said, "Oh, big brother, do stop crying, or I shall never fall asleep in my coffin, for my shroud will not dry because of all thy tears, which fall upon it." The boy was afraid when he heard that and wept no more. The next night the child came again, and held a little light in his hand, and said, "Look, big brother, my shroud is nearly dry, and I can rest in my grave.” Then the boy gave his sorrow into the God's keeping, and bore it quietly and patiently, and the child came no more, but slept in his little bed beneath the earth.
Then an idea came to the boy, to put his little brother back together.
That way, his little brother can be the hero he always dreamed of being....
.
.
.
Yes, I did take the original Brothers Grimm story and I wrote this with the Shroud siblings in mind.
I'm rather proud of this drawing, I'm actually happy with the lighting (even though compared to other pieces of art it's rather shit lmao.)
Here's a link to the original story!
Today’s Mood:
