Rb This With Whether You'd Fuck Marry Or Kill A Can Of Rigatoni On The Street - Tumblr Posts

Something possessed me on the car ride back home from therapy so here's the Redacted characters playing fuck marry kill with the lyrics of this song

"An army of Furbies that won't stop chanting the Lord's prayer

A can of rigatoni on the street

Going over to a friend's house for a sleepover for the first time, and their dad wants them to pop a cyst on his back, but they're really squeamish and faint, but he's in a lot of pain so you have to do it"

•Asher would marry the Furbies, fuck the can of rigatoni and kill that last situation because he would also be squeamish and faint and he'd rather kill a guy to avoid that.

•Guy, knowing better than Ash, would kill the Furbies, fuck the rigatoni and marry the dad situation because "who knows maybe he'll die soon and I'll inherit all his money... Honey what do you mean 'he's not that kind of daddy'?"

•Vega would fuck the Furbies, kill the rigatoni, and he just makes a very confused and slightly disgusted face at you when you describe the last scenario before walking off and never speaking to you again.

•Elliott kills the Furbies, marries the rigatoni (I honestly don't know why it just feels like an Elliott thing to do), and fucks the dad despite all the horror going on.

•David refused to answer any of these and just walked out of the room.

•Sam would kill the Furbies because "I swear to god, Darlin', I had one of 'em as a kid and it tried to kill me," marry the rigatoni and fuck the dad situation.

•Gavin would marry the Furbies ("my little underlings" (his words not mine)), fuck the can of rigatoni, and kill the dad because "ew."

•[Damien disapproves]