Sleep Deprived Posts - Tumblr Posts

i made a post earlier but tumblr fucked up the tags so i hav 2 put it all in txt :/

the post was

"not everything has 2 b an opportunity 4 u 2 try 2 prove u r a good ally sharon"

and i was gonna keep it at that and then leave the specifics of what i was talking abt in the tags but tumblr is a hellsite so i can't, i posted and immediately all the tags were out of order and made no fucking sense so im gonna just put the whole thing in txt here ig

this is abt me mainly thinking abt the ppl who hijack social movements 2 try 2 prove "what a good person they r" or act like we hav 2 make everything abt them like "the a stands 4 ally" mfs, the ppl who act like we in the minority hav 2 tone down what we're saying 4 them bc they would rather b comfy than acknowledge that ppl in their group r still hurting us

like the teachers and therapists who hijack every time a disabled/nd/mentally ill person talks abt their experiences 2 say "well im not like that" or worse the teachers and therapists who tell us 2 stop talking abt our experiences bc "we're making ppl afraid 2 go 2 school/therapy" and then they lie and say that "our experiences don't happen that often" like yes they do mf it's not my fault my reality makes u uncomfortable

this is also abt the mfs who act like im "racist" 4 saying that im mixed british and african when i say that bc i am, but some white ppl will say that calling myself that makes me racist bc "it's an insult 2 ppl actually from africa",,, like mf my grandmother was from africa and my mother was raised there, ur not as good an ally as u think u r

this is also abt the ppl who act like hating on mogai makes them a good queer ally, no it doesn't, also can't help but notice the stuff in mogai that i c getting the most hate is the labels that r there 4 nd/mentally ill ppl, hate 2 break it 2 u but ableism doesn't make u a good queer ally

also side note some of u just c a label and assume u know what it means, like u c the word "cloudgender" and assume it means some1 identifies as a cloud when that's not what that means, it's a label 4 some1 who the specifics of their gender r hard 2 pinpoint bc of dpdr [depersonalisation and/or derealisation] which is a very real thing 4 a lot of ppl, if ur such a "good ally" y don't u do the bare minimum research b4 u decide u know what something means

also while ur at it stop acting like every character in a queer relationship who's nd or mentally ill is child coded, like u guys will b like "[lists a literal common symptom of being nd/mentally ill] this makes them child coded" like mf no it doesn't hell some of u will point 2 a character being aro or ace or both and use that as evidence 4 them being "child coded" and u only seem 2 do this w/ queer ships [canon or otherwise] and i hav 2 wonder how many of u r doing that bc u c ace ppl, aro ppl, nd ppl, mentally ill ppl the same as children and how many of u r doing that bc u want any excuse 2 call a queer ship p*do bait neither of those makes u a good ally 2 queer ppl

i'm nd, im mentally ill, im aroace and im not a child, ppl like me r allowed 2 exist and hav relationships and yes that includes relationships that r obviously and unashamedly queer, sry not sry if that makes u uncomfortable and b4 u say "well it's not abt ppl like u" yes it is, im literally nd and mentally ill in the way that ppl use 2 say a character is child coded, im autistic and i hav dpdr as a result of cptsd so i hav moments where i just hav no idea what's going on, if i was a fictional character i would hav ppl on the internet saying that im "child coded" and that ppl can't like me and my partner being 2gether and that it's "bad queer rep" also even if it wasn't abt me that's not the point, the point is adults r allowed 2 b adults and being disabled shouldn't change that

i feel like a lot of activism is hurt by "allies" that just hijack our movements 2 try 2 prove "what good allies" or "what good ppl" they r and then they focus the movement around them and their ego and what they will and won't accept instead of our activism being allowed 2 b centred around us, the oppression we face and our goals 2 work 2wards our own liberation, the ways in which a lot of these "allies" try 2 prove that they r good allies is in ways that hurts the community they r saying they r helping or in a way that hurts another community that wouldn't hav been caught in the crossfire otherwise

[not saying all allies r like this but u do get way 2 many like this and it pisses me off]

so yeh, not everything has 2 b an opportunity 4 u 2 try 2 prove ur a good ally sharon

Long time no see fellas 🤠

As I already mentioned in my previous post, I'll be finishing my school soon

Today was the last school day....although we didn't have any lessons...and just played Uno...

Starting from next week there will be plenty of finals *maniacal sleep deprived cackle in the bg* , so I'll try to survive, pass em, do something with my life and finish some of the oooooold wips I have...

I ain't got any motivation, but the guilt of being useless is making me work hehe

Only half of my brain is workable rn, so imma go to sleep.

Good day/night to y'all

Zzzzzzzz _(-.-)_