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Attraction types, explained by me

As an oriented aroace, I feel that many attraction types are often overlooked. Nonsexual attraction types aren't well understood, and nonrose attraction types are understood even less. So, here's my take on each attraction type that I know of off the top of my head!

I hope that my explanations will help others to understand attraction better, and potentially understand their own attraction (or lack thereof) better as well.

Keep in mind that all attraction types have varying definitions. Different people may perceive and describe them in different ways, and that's okay!

Everything is listed in alphabetical (A-Z) order.

Aesthetic attraction

The appreciation of the aesthetic qualities of specific persons, such as their appearance or voice. This appreciation is not necessarily tied to any desires, but can sometimes be described as the desire to observe someone.

An "aesthetic crush" is called a swish.

Alterous attraction

The active desire to have an emotional connection with specific persons, without necessarily being platonic and/or romantic. It is to "platonic and romantic" as nonbinary is to "man and woman." It may involve a blend of platonic and romantic attraction, a form of attraction that exists completely outside platonic/romantic, attraction which is vaguely adjacent to romantic/platonic, etc.

An "alterous crush" is called a mesh.

Note: Alterous attraction is one of the most notable forms of attraction I experience. Personally, I describe my alterous attraction as a general desire for emotional closeness with someone, regardless of the form that it takes. I would be happy being their friend, romantic partner, zucchini, waffle, appromour, etc, with no preference between the type of relationship. I'm just happy to have them in my life! This, of course, is not the only way to experience alterous attraction. This is just how it applies to me personally, so I'm using it as an example.

Amarous attraction

A general feeling of attraction. It is unspecified and does not differentiate between attraction types. This may be due to the person not perceiving any differences between attraction types, not favoring any particular form of relationship, or not feeling that any form of attraction is more important than others.

An "amarous crush" is called a tresh. An amarous relationship may be called an amariship. Amarous attraction is also known as amarity.

Amical attraction

The active desire to be best friends with specific persons, or have a "siblinghood" relationship. This attraction overlaps with platonic attraction, and may also overlap with queerplatonic attraction.

An "amical crush" is called a shush or thresh.

Domestic attraction

The active desire to perform domestic activities with specific persons. This may include living together, cooking, cleaning, raising children, or other domestic activities.

There is no term for a "domestic crush." Feel free to suggest one in the notes! I'm thinking "mosh," based on "domestic."

Exteramo attraction

The active desire for emotional closeness with specific persons, which is neither platonic nor romantic, and does not exist anywhere in between. It is not derived from platonic or romantic attraction, and instead exists completely separately.

An "exteramo crush" is called an orush.

Fluitic attraction

The active desire to form a wavership with specific persons. A wavership is a trelationship with a fluid nature. For example, the relationship may be romantic at one point, platonic at another, and queerplatonic at another.

Fluitic attraction can also describe attraction which is frequently shifting and fluid, potentially resulting in the person not being sure which type of attraction they're currently experiencing.

There is no term for a "fluitic crush." Feel free to suggest one in the notes! I'm thinking "flish," based on "fluitic" and "fish" (because they live in water).

A fluitic partner is called a wavermate or waffle. Other terms may also be used (especially to indicate the current nature of the relationship), such as friend, boyfriend/girlfriend/joyfriend/etc, datemate, partner, significant other, zucchini, etc.

Fluitic attraction is also known as waverian attraction.

Intellectual attraction

The active desire to intellectually bond with specific persons. This may involve exchanging knowledge and wisdom, sharing interests, or otherwise bonding intellectually.

An "intellectual crush" is called a mish. Intellectual attraction is also known as mental attraction or psychological attraction.

Nebulous attraction

Experienced by those who can't/don't differentiate between nonsexual or nonphysical attraction types. Sexual attraction is easily identified, and other forms of physical attraction may be easily identified as well. Nonsexual/nonphysical attraction, on the other hand, is all a part of "the blob": a nebulous category in which different forms of attraction are considered to be variations of the same broad experience, with no clear differences between them.

The blob may include romantic attraction, platonic attraction, queerplatonic attraction, alterous attraction, exteramo attraction, amical attraction, and any other nonsexual/nonphysical form of attraction.

A "nebulous crush" is called a blush or nebulush.

Platonic attraction

The active desire to have a platonic relationship or friendship with specific persons.

A "platonic crush" is called a squish.

Queerplatonic attraction

The active desire to have a queerplatonic relationship (QPR) with specific persons. A queerplatonic relationship is a relationship which blurs the lines between friendship and romance.

It is often described as a nonromantic relationship which is more intimate and committed than what is often expected in friendship. It is also sometimes described as platonic relationship with romantic elements or activities involved. Definitions vary.

A queerplatonic crush is called a squash or plush. A person in a queerplatonic relationship may be called a queerplatonic partner (QPP), zucchini, marshmallow, or mallowfriend. Traditionally platonic or romantic terms (such as friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner) may also be used. Queerplatonic is also known as quirkyplatonic or quasiplatonic.

Romantic attraction

The active desire to have a romantic relationship with specific persons.

A romantic crush is simply called a crush. A person in a romantic relationship may be called a romantic partner, boyfriend/girlfriend/joyfriend/etc, datemate, significant other, partner, etc.

Sensual attraction

The active desire to touch specific persons in a nonsexual way. This may involve a desire to hug, kiss, cuddle, caress, hold hands with, or otherwise touch them in a way which does not involve sex.

A "sensual crush" is called a lush.

Sexual attraction

The active desire to have sex with specific persons.

A "sexual crush" is called a smush or lust. A person in a sexual relationship may be called a sexual partner, foveo, friend with benefits/FWB (if the sexual relationship is also platonic), or paramour (if the sexual relationship is also platonic).

Social attraction

The active desire to look up to specific persons, or to treat them as a role model or mentor. It may involve the desire to become more similar to them, a desire to learn from them, or a desire to be associated with them. This attraction often stems from the target of attraction's perceived talent, wisdom, or social status.

A "social crush" is called a rush. Social attraction is also known as interpersonal attraction.

Spiritual attraction

The active desire to spiritually bond with specific persons. This may involve performing spiritual practices together, engaging in spiritual discussions, growing together spiritually, understanding each other on a spiritual level, or otherwise bonding spiritually.

This may also involve forming relationships with someone on the basis of their spiritual practices, the idea that they are destined to be together, or the idea that they knew each other in a past life.

Spiritual attraction may entail deeply valuing a person's opinions, resilience, and personhood. One may also want to engage in exclusive activities with the person they are attracted to. Spiritual attraction may also overlap with social attraction.

A "spiritual crush" is called a spirit or soul (though, personally, I think "splish" would work better). A spiritual partner may be called a spirit guide, soulmate, or soul partner, among other terms.

Additional terms:

Amorous: A term which describes aromantic people who wish to form significant partnerships with others. Also known as partnering; not to be confused with amarous.

Apl: Short for "aplatonic,"similarly to how "aro/ace" is short for "aromantic/asexual". Pronounced "apple."

Appromour: A nonromantic partner or relationship.

Aromate: A platonic soulmate.

Loveless: A term for aromantic people who do not identify with the concept of love, feel disconnected from love, and/or do not experience love. The term "loveless" is also often used to degrade and dehumanize aromantic people. Loveless aros reclaim the concept of being loveless, taking pride in the term and affirming that love is not required to have worth.

Nonamorous: A term which describes people who do not wish to form significant partnerships with others. Also known as nonpartnering.

Peach fuzz: A term for when queerplatonic partners pretend to be romantic partners, especially due to social expectations.

Polyaffectionate: Polyamory which is nonsexual and/or nonromantic.

Soft romo: A somewhat romantic relationship. May be described as "between queerplatonic and romantic."

Venusplatonic: A term for aromantic people who do not want romance, but heavily value platonic love.