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The Star Wars Tennis Challenge
Kylo: Why are we here again, General?
Hux: It was a challenge, sir. Never let it be said that the First Order turn down a challenge. Those Resistance bastards would claim it as a victory.
Phasma: I agree, we must crush them at all costs.
Kylo: Fine. What’s the game again?
Hux: It’s called tennis, you basically just hit balls at each other over a net.
Kylo: That sounds pleasingly violent.
Phasma: Well, there is a little more to it, you’re not actually aiming for….
Kylo: What the hell is this? *Holds up black t-shirt and shorts*
Hux: Ah, yes, you see apparently you have to wear this sort of thing, it’s like a uniform. And I did manage to find it in black.
Kylo: I am not wearing that. It’s so…..revealing.
Phasma: Oh, come on, just give it a try. It’s actually very comfortable.
***********
Finn: I bet they don’t show up. Can you actually imagine them dressed in….
*Kylo, Hux and Phasma enter*
Poe: Oh my.
Rey: I CAN SEE THEIR KNEES
Rose: Are they allowed to wear black?
Finn: I think, given the circumstances, we will let that one go.
************
Hux: So, Ren, it is you and I up first. Now, we needed a team name, so I have chosen ‘Kylux’
Kylo: I’m sorry, what?
Hux: It’s a combination of both our names, you see, Kylo and Hux. Don’t you think that is clever?
Kylo: It’s awful. Never mind. Let’s just get on with this.
************
Finn: OK buddy, you and I have got this, let’s destroy these guys.
Poe: Great. What’s our team name?
Finn: Oh, you’ll like this; Stormpilot. Because, you know, I was a stormtrooper and you are a pilot.
Poe: Ooooh I do like that. Right, let’s go. You serve.
*************
Kylo: General Hux, we seem to be losing. Why are we losing?
Hux: Well, two reasons as far as I can tell, Ren. Firstly, they are very good at the game, and secondly, we are not very good at it.
Kylo: Well, get better General. Get better fast.
Hux: I….. yes, Supreme Leader.
**************
Hux: Aaaaargh!
Kylo: Stop screaming, General.
Poe: Hugs, are you OK?
Hux: My ankle….I think it’s a sprain…. it’s not made for exercise.
Kylo: Stop complaining and get back up, you worthless insect, or we will lose.
Poe: Actually, you could bring Captain Phasma in as a replacement.
Kylo: Oh, wonderful. In that case, get off the court at once, General. Captain Phasma, you are up.
Phasma: With pleasure, Supreme Leader. I will just adjust our team name *crosses out Kylux and writes Kysma*. We meet again, FN-2187.
Finn: Fuck off.
Poe: Perhaps, if we are going to mixed doubles, I should head off too and….look after Hugs here?
Finn: Fine. Rose, you in?
Rose: You bet. I’ve always wanted to hit things at those two.
Finn: New team name; Finnrose.
Rose: Love it.
**********
Finn: Ow! Stop doing that!
Kylo: I thought you said that we were not aiming for our opponents, Captain?
Phasma: I apologise, Supreme Leader. I will not do it a fifth time.
Kylo: No need to apologise Captain. It appears that you are far superior to Hux at this game. If only we weren’t so far behind. Wait a minute, I may have had an idea.
************
Rose: You cheated!
Kylo: How dare you accuse me of cheating!
Rose: The ball was clearly headed out. You must have changed it’s direction with the force!
Phasma: A ridiculous claim.
Finn: That’s how you have got back so many points!
Kylo: Nonsense. You have no proof.
Finn: No, but we do have our own force user. Rose, would you mind swapping out for Rey?
Rose: What? I can’t believe you want her rather than me! I’ve only just…
Finn: Please, Rose, look, this isn’t about you and me, it’s about the game. And Rey hasn’t had a chance to play yet, which is….
Rose: Oh fine. Whatever. *Stalks off court*
*Rey walks on, in short white shorts*
Rey: Great! Hi Ben.
Kylo: Hjkgfdjhkcd
Rey: So I guess our team name is now Finnrey?
Finn: Sounds good.
Kylo: *Glares*
*************
Phasma: Supreme Leader, I don’t mean to criticise you, but you seem to have slightly lost focus.
Kylo: *breaking off from staring at Rey*…..I’m sorry, what?
Finn: Match point to us. One more point and the game is ours. The Resistance wins. The First Order loses. The…
Rey: OK Finn, I think they get it.
Phasma: Kylo, I really need you to pay attention to this point. Rey is serving to you. You need to get the ball back *quietly* by any means necessary.
Kylo: What? Oh, yes. Of course.
*************
Finn: OK look, this is getting ridiculous.
*All the players stare at the ball, which is hovering in mid air over the line*
Phasma: Push it over, Kylo!
Kylo: I….am……trying…….
Finn: Rey, just let it go. We can win on the next point.
Rey: Not….a…….chance…..
*The ball explodes*
Phasma: Well, I assume that means it is a draw?
Finn: But we…..yeah, fine, whatever, it’s getting late.
Phasma: I believe it is traditional for us all to shake hands at this point.
Finn: This better not be an excuse to try to crush my hand.
*The four players move warily forwards to shake hands. When Rey and Kylo touch hands, they both stop moving*
Finn: What’s….happened to them?
Phasma: Supreme Leader? Kylo? That is odd, it’s as if they can’t even hear us.
Finn: Ah well. I guess I will go and find Rose, see if she is still annoyed at me.
Phasma: And I will go to try to find General Hux, who has been somewhere with your pilot for an oddly long time.
*Finn and Phasma leave*
Kylo: Rey……
Rey: Ben…..
Meu outro xodózinho! #shoes #Levis #black #pretty #my #stylie #fun #simple #tênis #fashion #special #happy #rich #instaplace #instaplaceapp #place #earth #world #brasil #brazil #BR #sãopaulo #day #pic #good #cool #instampic #instancool #instangood #Instagram
Te besaría la misma cantidad de veces que he escuchado The Beatles ❤️ ✌️📷🌎 #photography #fotografia #tenis #thebeatles #beatlife #beatlgirl #ilovethebeatles (en San Luis Potosi, Mexico) https://www.instagram.com/p/CEktlHmFtBd/?igshid=dqzz2mx6kycp
I know compared to many other countries aus is doing really well with covid but hearing all the aus open tennis players complaining about quarantine makes me really upset. Like I spent 6 months being unable to see my family friends or partner, i could visit my grandma in hospital. People are stuck overseas, dying in hospitals but they are annoyed abo u t a tough lockdown that is helping protect everyone. If we get more cases because of the open I will be so furious at the players and the government for even taking the risk.
