Thanks Dad - Tumblr Posts
SmallFry is gonna eatid you
“Gay people suck” -me
“Only if you ask nicely” - my 55 year old white father.
My dad likes to channel surf with the volume turned up...
Dad: *pauses between remote clicking*
Me: *hear’s RDJ and Sam L. Jackson doing the barn scene*
Me: *from the kitchen* Avengers 2!
Dad: It says Age of Ultron
Me: Uh, yeah dad that’s the second one
Me: *hears Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp*
Me: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides!
Dad: You need a life. Get a boyfriend or something
Me: ....thanks dad
LATER
TV: “That dude there. I need his prosthetic leg”
Me: *still from the kitchen” GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY
Dad: JESUS WOMAN
So my dad decided to play a joke on me for April Fools.
I’m not laughing
Why does my dad think he can be more affectionate now that I'm older when he practically made me this way?
Maybe I wouldn't have so many problems with accepting affection If he had figure his shit out when I needed him.
I can't talk right now, I'm doing eldest daughter shit.
*raising my brother while simultaneously not getting involved too much or else I'm going to get yelled at*
*calling my dad out on his shit*
*being a third parent*
*teaching my brother and cousin English because no one else in my family can and I apparently sound like I'm British even though I'm literally not*
*constantly burned out*
*being my mum's therapist*
*being my friend's therapist*
*being an exact replica of my dad*
*giving more affection to my brother than anyone else because I don't want him to end up like me*
*being unable to express verbal affection*
*found family is one of my favourite tropes*
*wanting to move out for college but being too scared to leave my brother alone*
Wonderful day to remember that time, when I was like 13 and already touch starved and emotionless as fuck, I had seen my mum hold my little brother's hand so I did to same to my dad because I was still a child and he gave me a wtf look.
Wow. I'm really hurting myself here.
Used to be, wasn't scared of dying. Everyone thought I was "brave," but really, I just didn't care. Didn't respect myself enough to care. Still don't, I guess. Acted recklessly, got into fights, got arrested a couple times. I wasn't scared of doing anything, because I didn't care if it killed me. I could do anything. Then I went and made the mistake of falling in love. Didn't change anything at first, but slowly and surely over time, I started becoming more cowardly. I was less comfortable doing things that pointlessly put my life in danger. First thing I remember pussying out of was going swimming in a creek full of gators, something I'd done countless times. Never bothered me before, even had a close call once then kept on swimming, but suddenly, the thought of being attacked frightened me. I didn't want to die, I wanted to live with her. I can't protect her from inside a gator's stomach. And then more and more of the things I used to do so effortlessly became so frightening. No more cliff jumping, no more bar fights, no more heavy drinking. I want to live. How sad. Anyway, happy birthday, son! Your mother and I are very proud of you. I hope you get that victory royale today!
OMG it's my birthday!😁😍
When I was 12 I broke my wrist and my father decided to take a selfie at 2am while we were in A&E.
Anyway, I found the photo and redrew it as Elias and Jon. Because it’s fitting.