The Dursleys - Tumblr Posts

But, has anyone ever noticed that the dursleys are literally anti-traditional-purebloods? They passionately hate anything related to magic, just like certain wizard families (like the Blacks or Malfoys etc.) passionately hate muggles and anything related to them. Both parties want nothing more than to rid the world of the other one. Petunia even hates and rejects her sister so much for being a witch that she never talks about her. Sounds familiar? It certainly does to me, that is the exact same behaviour said pureblood families show when they hush up about their squib relatives. And now imagine poor little Harry growing up in this racist family that hates his guts because they know he is a wizard. In conclusion, the dursleys are in no way better than 'those people' they hate so much. Actually they are just the same.

I cannot, this has to be a joke. I am so tired of TikTok and their takes. No one is torturing Dudley and his family. No is there pointing a wand at them and saying the Cruciatus Curse at them. What happens to them is the consequence of their own actions.

“So when he’s 11 years old his family uproots their life and goes on the run,”

I’ll agree with you, yes it’s stressful but no one was out to get the family. They (Hogwarts) just wanted Harry to come to Hogwarts, and they know (somehow) that Harry didn’t see his letter so they kept sending them. None of that would have happened if the Dursleys just let Harry see the damn letter, like what did they think would have happened? Mind you Petunia knows this process so she easily could have saved them the trouble. Also they wouldn’t have had to go on the run if Dudley hadn’t told on Harry. That’s the consequence of their own actions. Not the wizards. And certainly not Harry. It was Harry’s letter, he had the right to read it.

Let's look at all the stuff Dudley had done to Harry by the third chapter of the book:

“Dudley’s favorite punching bag was Harry,” yes Harry was fast but clearly there were enough times that Dudley punched him for Harry to be considered his “favorite punching bad” also Harry, a 11 year old, is one doing the cooking while Petunia and Vernon, perfectly capable adults, are right there.

Dudley starts crying because Harry has to go to the zoo with him. I have to share my birthday with my whole family (3 other people), he can get over having to take his cousin to the zoo with him.

“Dudley’s gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry’s surprise as anyone else’s, there he was sitting on the chimney.” accidental magic (in Harry’s case) is triggered by emotion, so they had scared Harry so bad that he apparated, APPARATED! Something that is supposed to be hard, especially for someone younger than eleven. And Harry must have been really scared to do that before the age of eleven or just that powerful. And Harry got punished for it too.

Dudley and his gang is are knowing to target Harry so much that Harry labels it “Harry Hunting”

The snake scene, the snake did nothing to the family, it snapped at them and went away. And Dudley wasn’t trapped in the cage either.

I am sure I didn’t mention all the things Dudley did to Harry before the age of eleven, but some of those things are scattered throughout the books. But this all for mentioned in like the first three chapters, that's a lot considering one of those chapters takes place when Harry is one years old. I do remember one where Marge’s dog chased Harry up a tree while they all laughed. Marge didn’t call off the dog until midnight, MIDNIGHT! So Harry was alone, scared, stuck on a tree for hours. As someone who is scared of dogs, I can't imagine how scary that must have been for him. I'm surprised he didn’t have a fear of dogs.

Hagrid giving Dudley the pig tail was wrong. I'll admit that and he didn’t deserve that, Vernon did, especially since he was the one who insulted Dumbledore which angered Hagrid, and I also don’t like Hagrid but that’s a whole different conversation.

“The year after that was less stressful, but not no stress right? There’s still stuff floating around, his dad’s really angry, and then gets pulled out of a second story window.”

his dad’s angry sure, I don’t recall Vernon ever yelling at Dudley, not even once, if you do, please mention it. As for your second point, he wouldn’t get pulled out of a second store window if they just let Harry respond to Ron’s letters or if they didn’t put any bars in the window. Ron knows how the Dursely’s treat Harry, so he’s obviously concerned when Harry doesn’t respond to him. I would be too if my friend with abusive guardians didn’t respond to me for days. So he goes and rescues Harry, it wouldn't be necessary if they just let Harry respond or even let go to the Weasley’s. So again consequences of their own actions. Not the wizards or Harry’s fault or the good guys’ but theirs. Not to mention they were starving Harry, and he still shared the food with Hedwig.

“And then the year after his aunt inflates, like I know it’s supposed to be funny because she’s fat but again we’re putting ourselves in Dudleys shoes and he doesn’t understand magic or its impact on the human body. Harry loses his temper and she literally blows up.''

Now why does Harry get angry? I'm sure it's not unreasonable. Oh right, because Marge calls his mom (who died trying to save him from the evil wizard) a bitch and his dad (someone who also died trying to save him) an alcoholic, which is just made up by the Dursely’s. Now if she didn’t say that then Harry wouldn’t have gotten rightfully angry, and the anger wouldn’t have triggered his accidental magic, which he should be in control of by now. So clearly the words affected him a lot. They wouldn’t have if Marge didn’t open her mouth to talk shit about a child's dead parents. And it didn’t say that Dudley was watching TV so I’m assuming he was listening to the conversation. That’s the consequence of her own action, not Harry’s fault or the wizards fault, or the good guys.

“It doesn’t get better for him, thereafter, that he eats a piece of candy, that keep in mind Fred and George intentionally left for this to happen and then just peaced out. He eats a piece of candy and his tongue swells up to 3ft long.”

First let me get this out of the way that Fred and Geroge are kind of bullies, their pranks sometimes do harm to people. Now why do Fred and George leave that piece of candy? Because they have heard of all the terrible shit he has done to Harry, and they’ve seen first hand how badly the Dursleys treat Harry (second year, bars on the window). And they of course, like any friends, want to get revenge for Harry. And they also get in trouble with Arthur and later Molly. They faced the consequences of their actions and so did Dudley.

Then the dementor thing happens. Which wasn’t anyone’s fault but Umbridge since she sent them and Dudley just happened to be with Harry. But it was important that he was because that’s the start of his so-called redemption arc. Dudley is a bully and no bully just wakes up one day and realizes that “oh shit what I did and how I treated them was wrong.” no they need a wake up call and for Dudley that wake up call was the dementor.

“We’re 5 for 5 every year,”

no we are not. We’re not even close, what about those eleven years before Hogwarts? Those absolute hellish years? He hated them so much that Harry considers Hogwarts, where he’s in constant danger and where he eventually dies, his home? What about those years? But that’s in the past so they don’t matter right?

Dudley hasn’t even been through a quarter of what Harry has (and half that trauma was due to Dudley and his family) and there nothing the Dursleys can say or do will ever make up for years of trauma and abuse. Their past actions finally caught up to them. And Harry is so traumatized from them that when Mcgonagall asks for Wood, he thinks that she’s going to beat him with a wooden stick. For saving Neville’s, who was being bullied by Malfoy, rememberal. If Harry can tell that bullying is wrong then so can Dudley. He should be able to tell that what his parents are doing to Harry is wrong. And if he wants his parents' approval so badly then he can at least be nice to Harry at school, but he doesn’t, instead he gets his friends to join in too. And makes his social life hell. I remember something about Harry having to dumb himself down so he doesn’t do better at school than Dudley and get him trouble. If he wasn’t a wizard, this could’ve possibly ruined his future. And he doesn’t stop after the first year of Harry being back. He later makes fun of his parents death and Cedric’s death as well (although he doesn’t know who Cedric is and Harry was taunting him before this). All the stuff that you mention is nothing but just a couple of bad days in his otherwise happy life.

And I’m not even going to talk about him going into hiding part because I have nothing to say.

Let's also remember that the target audience for the Harry Potter series is kids Harry’s age, so eleven year old, pre-teens and middle schoolers. People who do not think like high schoolers and adults do. It's detailed enough that kids love it. She (JKR) doesn’t expect them to comment on world building, the money system, or how bad at math JKR is or how much of a bad writer she is or why they didn’t use the truth serum on Sirius. If you did, then congrats to you, I didn’t. I saw magic and a school for wizards and thought it was cool. But if they can tell that what Dudley was doing to Harry was bad then so can he. Dudley should be able to tell that what his parents are doing is wrong. Kids are taught from a young age to not bully and if they see something then say something. And Harry grew up around that, and instead of becoming like his abusers, he became this kind and selfless boy who in the end sacrificed himself to save the world, that didn’t give him much. Sacrificed himself for people who constantly changed their opinions about him. If Harry can be different from Vernon and Petunia than so can Dudley.

Also I do not believe that Dudley got his redemption arc, all he says to Harry is “I don’t think you’re a waste of space,” which congrats to him for finally being able to be a decent human being, I guess. For recognizing that his own cousin isn’t dirt at the bottom of his shoe. It’s not enough for me to consider redeeming him, he’s literally doing the bare minimum. And for a redemption arc you have to go above and beyond. The Dursleys are shit human beings and probably the worst of the humans, I’m surprised Harry didn’t turn them into toads or something the first chance he got.

And Harry, first and foremost is a victim. Harry has done bad things, of course, he’s not perfect, but he’s a victim. He’s a boy that experienced severe trauma from a very young age. He was used and abused by the adults and authority figures around him. So blaming him for things that were out of his control (i.e. Sirius death (that’s a whole other conversation that I can get into if you want me too)) is not okay or fair.

So no, Dudley doesn’t not have the right to blame/hate Harry or wizards. The wizards didn’t do anything to them for the fun of it or anything like that. No, it is them being punished for being shitty people in the past and shitty people to Harry. (They got what they deserved and I’m glad they did, it seems that Vernon is still a shitty person though and idk what happens to Dursley after the battle of Hogwarts) If they had been decent then none of these would have happened. There’s tons of other stuff I could mention that the Dursleys do but I don’t have the time.

This is a great analysis!

I would like to add that the first two or three books really are children of their time. They belong to a very specific kind of children's literature that was still popular when they got published. In this type of literature, violence and abuse get exaggerated. The goal is to make them absurd and hilarious instead of serious and disturbing.

So the violence the Dursleys commit against Harry is basically supposed to cross the line twice. The Dursleys cross the line the first time, because they abuse him. But then their methods are so exaggerated, that the whole thing loops back around and crosses the line again. The scene with the frying pan and the cat flap aren't supposed to be taken literally. They are on the books to take off the edge of abuse.

I think a big factor in this, that the early books were written in the 1990s, when corporal punishment of children by their parents/guardians was legal and normalized. No, FUCK THAT, it's still legal and normalized in England to this day. And it is also legal in way to many other countries, too. (My country started to prohibit it in the 1980s, but they had to rework the law to include all forms of corporal punishment. And then they had to rework it again, to drive home the point that No, it's not legal for you to hit your kids. No, not even if you only hit them a little bit. What part of No do you not understand?!)

So, a lot of readers grew up in an environment, where they themselves were hit by their caregivers and where this form of punishment was considered to be normal. Including Rowling herself. So she needed a way to show that the abuse Harry suffered, exceeded the abuse that was considered normal and socially acceptable, back then. That's where stuff like the frying pan and the barred window come in. It shows that the abuse exceeds the societal limits, without scaring the target audience and without being "too close to home".

I think that's the mistake some fanfic writers do, when they try to portray the abuse Harry suffered as realistic. If one wanted to portray this in a more realistic manner, the abuse would need to be toned down, not dialed up even more. (Because the abuse is already horrible in an absurd kind of way. Making it even worse doesn't make it more realistic. Often, it makes it even more absurd instead.)

That said, I'm personally not very happy about how the books handled abuse. The absurd punishments the Dursleys dish out in the first books may fit the genre, but they really clash with the more serious, less whimsical tone of the later books.

What irks me more, is the parentification (if you can call it that, in Harry's case, because they didn't treat him like an additional parent, but more like a servant), so him being forced to cook and clean for them.* Because that shit isn't dealt up to eleven, but portrayed pretty realistic instead. I have the feeling that this is caused by Rowling not really understanding non-physical forms of abuse. Because, let's face it, the Weasleys were parentifying their kids, too, but it isn't portrayed as bad in their case.

(* I do agree that this is a rather recent development, especially the cooking. You just can't expect a young child to cook meals, without them burning the food, burning themselves and/or burning the house down. The daughter of a colleague of mine almost managed to do the latter with a couple of ready-made hotdogs and a microwave. And she was eight at the time.)

how bad do you think Harry's abuse was? like, okay we all know he was neglected his entire childhood. Do you think he really didn't know his name until he went to school? That he was forced to help around the house the moment he could walk? He prob also didn't know his birthday at some point :(( I love him so much, i want to throttle the dursleys

I mean, just from his behavior I feel like it was pretty bad. I talked about it a bit before and he's very aware he is being mistreated. Harry literally makes a joke about Vernon beating him:

“You don’t seem to need many qualifications to liaise with Muggles. . . . All they want is an O.W.L. in Muggle Studies. . . . ‘Much more important is your enthusiasm, patience, and a good sense of fun!’ ” “You’d need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle,” said Harry darkly. “Good sense of when to duck, more like . . .”

(OOTP, 657)

As for the abuse itself:

Dudley and his friends beat him often. As mentioned repeatedly.

He slept in a cupboard under the stairs until the Dursleys thought someone else might notice. Only when they got the Hogwarts letter that mentioned the cupboard did they move Harry to Dudley's second bedroom. (The title of the room itself and where Harry was sleeping show how much of an afterthought he was).

The house had no pictures of him, no belongings, no sign Harry lived there, he only got Dudley's cast-offs.

So, yeah, it's definitely neglectful to an insane degree.

As for the more fanon portrayals of the Dursleys' abuse.

They did starve him as a form of punishment:

Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, “Go — cupboard — stay — no meals,” before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.

(PS, 23)

And Harry didn't get much food at the Dursleys in general:

This was their encounter with the fact that a full stomach meant good spirits; an empty one, bickering and gloom. Harry was least surprised by this, because he had suffered periods of near starvation at the Dursleys.

(DH, 250)

But he did get to eat with them at the table when he wasn't being punished, seen with Aunt Marge, and when the Dursleys didn't have guests:

Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.

(PS, 19)

That being said, Harry seems to be punished at the Dursleys pretty often. (Although, Harry considers sitting with them at the table punishment enough)

So the fanon portrayal of getting locked in the cupboard/his room with no food for who knows how long (or just, not enough food, like in CoS when he shared a canned meal with Hedwig) is actually canon.

He gets physically abused by Dudley, but also by Vernon and Petunia. We saw Petunia try to hit him with a frying pan.

Aunt Petunia knew he hadn’t really done magic, but he still had to duck as she aimed a heavy blow at his head with the soapy frying pan. Then she gave him work to do, with the promise he wouldn’t eat again until he’d finished.

(CoS, 17)

The above qoute mentions how he was forced to do chores with the threat of no food until he's done with his chores. So, yes, he was forced to work at the Dursleys. Another quote indicating he had plenty of practice cleaning over at the Dursleys:

“Filch’ll have me there all night,” said Ron heavily. “No magic! There must be about a hundred cups in that room. I’m no good at Muggle cleaning.” “I’d swap anytime,” said Harry hollowly. “I’ve had loads of practice with the Dursleys. Answering Lockhart’s fan mail . . . he’ll be a nightmare. . . .”

(CoS, 114)

That being said, we see Petunia cooking more often than Harry, and she's also mentioned cleaning on occasion:

At last, at long last, the final evening of Marge’s stay arrived. Aunt Petunia cooked a fancy dinner and Uncle Vernon uncorked several bottles of wine.

(PoA, 26)

“Right — I’m off into town to pick up the dinner jackets for Dudley and me. And you,” he snarled at Harry. “You stay out of your aunt’s way while she’s cleaning.”

(CoS, 14)

I think he wasn't constantly worked like a house elf the way the fandom sometimes portrays it. He was made to clean often enough but he didn't cook that often. The breakfast in PS is likely more of an exception than the norm as whenever any fancy dinner, like with Marge or the Masons, it's always Petunia cooking it, not Harry. So, I don't think Harry cooked or cleaned for them since he could walk, I mean Petunia is a perfectionist about how her house looks, so she wouldn't let a small child who'd do a subpar work do it.

But he was definitely put to work as either punishment or when the Dursleys wanted him occupied. And considering he mentions "plenty of practice" when he's 12 and he spent the last two years at Hogwarts, he likely started doing chores earlier than that, but old enough to use a mop properly. So, I'd guess he started helping to clean the house around the time he was 6 or 7 years old, and started cooking on occasion only very recently before the books start in all likelihood.

The really shitty thing about all his chores is that Dudley isn't doing anything and it's just Harry. This difference is one Harry was always aware of and considers unfair, because it is incredibly unfair. The fact he is forced to do work and gets punished when the other child in the house doesn't adds to the sense of worthlessness the Dursleys already make Harry feel.

Uncle Vernon in general is pretty violent towards Harry, shown in the first quote in this post and in others:

Harry ran down the stairs two at a time, coming to an abrupt halt several steps from the bottom, as long experience had taught him to remain out of arm’s reach of his uncle whenever possible.

(HBP, 45)

I wanted to add the imprisonment in CoS, because the treatment is truly subhuman:

The following morning, he paid a man to fit bars on Harry’s window. He himself fitted a cat-flap in the bedroom door, so that small amounts of food could be pushed inside three times a day. They let Harry out to use the bathroom morning and evening. Otherwise, he was locked in his room around the clock.

(CoS, 28)

They treat him like an actual prisoner. They let him out to the bathroom twice a day! Like WTF! This is so not okay I don't have words.

As for not calling him by his name...

“We could phone Marge,” Uncle Vernon suggested. “Don’t be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy.” The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn’t there — or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn’t understand them, like a slug.

(PS, 19)

They usually refer to Harry simply as "boy" or "the boy", they also use "you" when talking to him or "him" about him, but not his name, except one time in PS when Vernon is faking being nice:

“Er — yes, Harry — about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking…you’re really getting a bit big for it…we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley’s second bedroom.

(PS, 30)

Considering how Harry mentions they often don't speak to him, but at him or about him, definitely suggests they don't use his name often. Vernon seems very odd about using Harry's name, and we see it isn't something common, but it does happen. I think Harry did always know his name though, I'm sure he asked, and regardless of how awful the Dursleys are, Petunia likely told him his name in the same breath she talked about how his father was a drunkard that got both him and Lily killed.

We also know they don't do anything for Harry's birthday, and Harry doesn't think they remember it:

The lighted dial of Dudley’s watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he’d be eleven in ten minutes’ time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.

(PS, 35)

So, it's very plausible the Dursleys never told Harry when his birthday is and that he had to discover it himself somehow.

TL;DR

Harry's abuse at the Dursleys was awful. It included physical abuse from all three Durslesy and periods of starvation.

He was put to chores like cleaning the house, but it wasn't a constant thing where he worked like a house elf. It actually seems Petunia did most of the cooking.

He probably only started cleaning when he was 6 or 7 at the youngest. And cooking is likely a later development.

Harry was allowed to sit at the table and even watch TV on rare occasions but usually didn't get to choose what to watch. It means Harry should be somewhat aware of muggle pop culture at the time.

Harry, in general, wasn't really treated as human. Not having his name used, only talked at, not having his birthday celebrated, not getting pocket money or anything of his own. Not to mention being forced to sleep in the cupboard or on the floor (in the shack on the sea in PS) and getting his food through a cat flap on his bedroom door like an actual prisoner in CoS.

So, while fanon portrayals make the Dursleys worse than they actually are, they are plenty awful on their own. Believe me, if I could throttle them, I would.

Just sitting here thinking about Harry James Potter and how much these songs remind me of him:

These remind me of Ron & Harry [when they fought]:

These ones specifically of Sirius & Harry:

Harry to his parents: 

Harry to the Dursley’s:

Harry to Dumbldore [when he learned of his “betrayal”] & Aunt Petuina:

This one is for Harry, Snape, and Tom [the three half-bloods that found a home at Hogwarts]: 

Harry from OOTP to The Deathly Hallows:

Just sitting here thinking about Harry James Potter and how much these songs remind me of him:

These remind me of Ron & Harry [when they fought]:

Do you think Snape had anything to do with the why the Order confronted the Dursley's at then end of OotP? I always found it odd that this happen's after Harry's Occlumency lessons.

Yeah, I read it that way.

Prior to this, there are other characters who are somewhat aware of Harry’s plight (Ron and the twins save Harry in CoS, for instance), but this intervention feels as if there’s been some extra pressure from someone whose opinion carries weight.

Snape is important here for two reasons:

1)  The Order know for a fact that Snape has been looking into Harry’s mind, so they can’t write this off as a mistake or children who are ‘telling tales’ - Snape has witnessed this activity directly.

2)  Snape outwardly - and openly - dislikes Harry, and if he’s saying, “Woah, there’s something really wrong, you need to have a word,” - then it suggests the behaviour he’s witnessed is awful.

I think both of those mean that the adult Order members take his warning seriously and intervene.