Anti Jkr - Tumblr Posts

YOU hate JK Rowling!

Ok so. my friend and i were rewatching the harry potter series. we were talking about how Harry should’ve been in slytherin and we made an entire concept for how we would write harry potter. i felt it was simply too good not to share. it’s literally just a bunch of somewhat connecting bullet points, but i might actually write it down in the future.

this came to be after we watched the second one, (mind you i’m an english major and my roommate is an Art history major) and talked about how we personally don’t like that one, and so much could’ve been improved with the chamber of secrets plot in general if harry had been in slytherin. The bullet points start with the first movie.

HARRY POTTER(AKA SLITHERIPOTTER)

Part 1: Childhood/ Hagrid

- vernon and petunia more neglectful, no room “if you don’t bother us we don’t bother you” deal

- when harry was a baby and would cry the fuses would go out

- at age 8, harry gets left at school, walks dejectedly to bus stop. Gets on bus has no money bus driver angry random stranger(LUPINN) pays for ticket.

- harry sits and looks for man to thank him (lupin was behind) doesn’t know where he went

- aunt and uncle afraid of harry. (aunt worse)

- aunt and uncle treat him better in public to be seen normal

- dudley intentionally getting harry in trouble, mommy complex. notices mom is nicer to him when she gets mad at harry.

-Aunt is an alcoholic, afraid of her nephew. aunt feels melancholy for her sister.

- harry shows symptoms of ADD(Attention deficit disorder) and GAD(Generalized anxiety disorder)

-Dudley’s birthday at zoo still happens. harry still talks to snake there. afterward harry locked in room.

- Dudley first sees harry’s letter, and reveals to parents. Excess of letters happens, Harry locked out of house in retribution.

HAGRID’S ENTRANCE:

- harry walks to park, hears motorcycle, flips tf out bc yknow, it’s flying.

- hagrid finds harry+ introduces him to the wizard world

-Gringotts still happens

-harry and hagrid go to train together. Hagrid and harry wave.

PART2 :THE TRAIN AND SORTING

- ron and harry bump heads, (harry leaving his lil compartment to find bathroom, ron looking for a seat) ron realizes harry’s identity when seeing his scar.

- harry happy to make a one friend, but confused as to how ron knew who he was

- ron explains legend vaguely

-Trolly shenanigans ensue

-Hermione sees trolly shenanigans(both of their faces are chovered in chocolate) and is disgusted , talks how her parents are dentists.

- hermione sees scar freaks out

-harry and ron slightly dislike hermione

- forces herself into it, hermione keeps asking weird questions, harry confused, hermione leaves

- “i’m so excited for sorting i want gryffindor” - ron

- harry confused. sorting mentioned but not much

- harry still doesn’t know his hair is messed up, notices draco looking at him. looks at him then looks away bc mcgonagall is there.

- as they’re going up the stairs, Ron explains houses. Loves Gryffindor, slytherin worst of worst(evil if you go to syntherin.) hufflepuff kind, ravenclaw smart

SORTING:

- Mcgonagall sorting people, draco making his way through the crowd for harry with crabbe and goyle following. Harry sees.

-when harry walks in the great hall, he feels eyes on him. it’s snape.

- Ron gets called, taps harry”I’ll see you later” energy

-Ron in hufflepuff, confused, can’t make eye contact with harry.

- ron looks over to brothers in gryffindor, (all near eachother) they’re disappointed

-harry really confused

-hermione sorted ravenclaw

-harry gets distracted as he tries to figure out the houses from who he’s seen her sorted into them. Draco gets called up, bumps harry, looks back at harry + eye contact.

- harry called, sorted into syntherin, Malfoy smirks and gestures next to him. Harry is panicking bc of what ron told him earlier

————

tis the end for now

tysm for reading this

I love that every time I find a marauders fic they'll mention not supporting jkr. Buddy you're writing about "what if sirius's dead brother was trans and wanted to bang harry's dead dad" we know you don't <3

Funny how Draco showed more capacity for change in two books than Harry in seven.

Years from now, the last thing standing in the Harry Potter fandom will be Draco, Drarry and their enduring fans. Because that's what happens when you write something compelling, even if accidentally.

Drarry still in the top ten ships of all time on AO3, wish JKR could see this and know not only is she a worthless transphobe but that her only real fandom success was a story of gay love and redemption she didn't have the guts to tell

Amen. The logical conclusion was for Harry and Draco to reconcile Gryffindor and Slytherin. But JKR doesn't do logic, she does revenge fantasies and childish protagonist favouring.

Snape was given a chance but was reduced to being a Gryffindor worshiper, someone who should have been a Gryffindor and was remembered and honoured for his Gryffindor qualities.

The only good Slytherin is a dead Slytherin.

Eta: also, every good thing Snape did was to atone for the horrible things he did before he became a spy. The worst things Draco did (torture) were under coercion while Snape was happy to let a baby die. He's the reason someone's parents are dead. Snape stans are gone in the head to believe that man deserved anything more than a literal child who didn't know what he was getting into and then wanted out. Just completely mad.

Snape didn't truly love Lily, romantically or platonically. If he did he would spare a thought for her baby. What he felt was a reaction to someone finally showing him positive attention and then guilt.

Jkr can say all she wants that Snape wasn't a hero but the way she wrote it (which is what matters), Snape was lionized in the end.

reminder that draco malfoy deserved the redemption that snape got

I think it's time we introduce a new tag in Drarry fics: sectumsempra apologism. It'll serve as a warning for the people who'd rather avoid JKR levels of glorification of Harry (and bad writing) and it'll be especially useful in longer fics.

Remembering that time when Draco was forced to Crucio someone and hated every minute of it while Harry willingly Crucio-ed a Death Eater because he spat on McGonagall and almost jizzed his pants about it. And yet Draco's character and dignity were completely trampled over while Harry was called gallant or whatever and put on a pedestal.

The sad thing is, the intention here is for us to agree with Hagrid and find what Draco went through funny and an appropriate punishment. In reality it was child abuse but somehow I'm not surprised that this ethically rather mean-spirited (if you know, you know) author would think otherwise and inflict her revenge fantasies on a fictional child instead of going to therapy.

As for Hagrid, that unqualified, incompetent moron should've never been hired as a professor of anything in the first place. He can't be trusted with children's safety.

“Yeh’ll do wha’yer told,” he growled, “or I’ll be takin’ a leaf outta Professor Moody’s book. ... I hear yeh made a good ferret, Malfoy.”

My love for these professors is really draining away, fast.

So, Moody changed Malfoy into a ferret. An action that is so beyond the pale against the rules Minerva drops her books in shock at what he’s doing.

And now Hagrid is mocking a 14 year old, threatening to do something that readers know he absolutely cannot do (both magic wise legally as well as in ability). The sheer audacity of threatening him with this, for refusing to do an assignment is obscene. Give him detention. Take points. Toss him out of class until he formally apologizes. Give him a zero for the day.

Hagrid threatens this in front of an entire class:

The Gryffindors roared with laughter. Malfoy flushed with anger but apparently the memory of Moody’s punishment was still sufficiently painful to stop him from retorting.

What kind of recourse does he get? Again. None. Draco Malfoy is an absolute brat, a bully, and often a little jerk. But I’ll always be on the child’s side when confronted with such unequal behavior by teachers in positions of authority over them. Hagrid repeatedly puts his students at risk he cannot or will not protect them from.

Even Harry, Ron, and Hermione say it was only a deep love for Hagrid that made them even consider trying to feed the skrewts. Hermione says they should be stamped out before they can breed. They share the exact same view as Draco Malfoy but will never say it aloud.

Funny how Draco showed more capacity for change in two books than Harry in seven.

jk rowling's backstory is trans people pushed her mother off a cliff

I actually hate this fucking TERF so much it hurts. Khelif has DSD (Differences of Sexual Development) so naturally has a higher amount of testosterone. Doesn't matter, she was born a woman. She was raised a woman. She identifies as a woman. She is a woman. She's a fucking Olympian. Show her some goddamn respect.

Is how the Marauder's map is treated really surprising from the series that minimizes trauma, glorifies bullying, portrays abused children as inherently evil and sees nothing wrong with the implications of a society where love potions are so routine that people sell them by the store full to literal children and tell "back in my day" stories about them like sexual assault is a fucking joke?

No, it doesn't surprise me at all that the invasiveness of the map is never addressed.

It's very telling that even though her general excuse for all marauder antics is that they were just mischievous kids, but then she has characters who were adults then do nothing and then she has characters who are now adults--adults she wants us to Believe are reasonable and fair--who know what they did and still defend it and treat it like it's perfectly harmless and a "just good fun."

The Marauder's Map and why the books failed to address the issues it raised

It infuriates me that people always seem to consider the Marauder's Map as something "cool" and boyish. To me, it is the ultimate tool to bully and abuse - a violation of all privacy and safety, the ultimate object of control for the abusers. I cannot see many things that would be more dangerous than this inside a boarding school, and I cannot even begin to imagine how Snape and other students must have suffered from it, unable to hide from those who could attempt murder or sexually assault them without being expelled. I don't care if this takes place in a magical world - everyone has a right not to be restlessly tracked. The fact the matter is never addressed within the books, and the Marauders seem to have received no real punishment (in a normal and proper school, this would get students expelled) when this clearly is psychological harassment and stalking, is another example of how unsafe Hogwarts is for all students that do not have the privilege to belong to Gryffindor, or come from a wealthy background, thus being at the mercy of bullies like the Marauders. And the fact the narrative doesn't point out this fact is highly disturbing - on the contrary, the map is always talked about in a positive way:

"This little beauty's taught us more than all the teachers in this school."

It is still an object of pride for Lupin, who gives it to Harry at the end of his third year. We know for a fact he never understood, or wanted to understand, the seriousness of his actions - the fact is this time, his views on the map aren't contradicted by anything in the narrative (in the contrary to the bullying of Snape, seen for what it was by Harry).

"While on the run in looking for Horcruxes, Harry would often look at the map to see what Ginny Weasley, his love interest, was doing, which would hint that the map works from any location."

We know that Harry and Ginny's relationship is a positive one with shared love in a particular context; but still such activity should never be romantized. None of the partner should have the power to stalk their loved one: it gives a disturbing idea of "entitlement" to the other.

"Eventually, James Sirius Potter probably stole the map from his father's desk."

Finally, the map is again presented as an object of enjoyment which provides mere fun - according to JK the map certainly made its way back to Hogwarts, in the hands of a James Sirius nonetheless (I mean, this is a symbol as a whole). I think that shows how she never understood the seriousness of what this object implies - because the use of the map is clearly, and definitely, written and talked about as positive and even funny.

Thus it is also talked about as something entirely positive within the fandom, just as bullying and trauma are minimized by many people - and to accept the idea that stalking is okay, another tool for "pranks", is worrying. The map is, on the contrary, a symbol of what the Marauders had and looked for during their school years: absolute power.

Oh no, what a shame—

Sike. That's asinine and I have no regrets on the reblog

btw the thing she couldn’t ignore was someone calling her out for saying anti-depressants/hormone therapy are only perscribed by lazy doctors

The Onion’s journalism is the only journalism that matters. Holy fuck.

Lily should have survived.

“Harry was saved by his mother’s love-“ Let me stop you right there.

I present to you: James Fleamont Potter.

You’re telling me that James didn’t love Lily and Harry enough to evoke the ancient love magic that Lily saved Harry with?

Mr. “Had an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match it?”

He loved both of them so much that he literally died trying to give them a chance to escape and that wasn’t enough?

I don’t buy it.

The only semi-logical explanation I can come up with is that he didn’t have his wand and maybe you can’t do something like that wand-less but did Lily have her wand?

Even then we’re talking about a guy who literally became an illegal animagus at the ripe age of 15.

He also loves and cares for people so deeply and it was LOVE MAGIC.

Look me in the eyes and tell me James Potter couldn’t have just saved BOTH of them without his wand.

Exactly, you can’t.

Honestly I could go on about all of the reasons James and Lily dying didn’t even make sense.

This is just another thing that makes me question why they died the way they did.

Them dying on an order mission would’ve been more realistic. There were just too many plot holes in them dying in Godric’s Hollow.

In conclusion, the ending of the first war didn’t make sense. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

Edit:

Guys this post is not that serious I just mean that everything about what happened that night and the explanation for all of it felt like a stretch and kinda vague to me 😭

Even with the stuff about James not having a choice. Like yeah Voldemort didn’t verbally give him the option to back off but James still made the choice to try and hold him off.

Also James was a Pureblood and Voldemort made it known that he would spare them if they didn’t fight him because his whole thing was blood purity.

So like the “Lily was given a choice” still feels so vague to me.

Also Voldemort making the promise to Snape feels weird. Snape asked him not to kill Lily but Voldemort said that he wouldn’t as long as she didn’t get in his way. And Lily did get in his way of killing Harry so he didn’t break that promise by killing her.

Yeah he probably could’ve just knocked her out or something but he still didn’t break any promises.

And the whole reason Snape joined Dumbledore before the end of the first war is because he didn’t think Lily would just let Voldemort kill her son. He didn’t make an unbreakable vow or anything so Snape knew that Voldemort would probably kill Lily.

Don't forget people going off about her curls until she's finally considered beautiful when she straightens them out for the yule ball.

Man I'm actually glad people are waking up to the fact this show is going to be a dumpster fire for whoever they cast as Hermione

You know none of them bitches are going to defend her from HP fans being shifty about her being black, or being anti-slavery

To people keeping staying “this is why death of an author is needed”, death of an author doesn’t fucking count when they are still actively alive and harming minority groups. Buying her work and engaging with it helps her spread that hatred and gives her money to hurt minority groups. Stop acting like you’re free from helping by chanting that “death of the author” bs. Until she’s actually dead and rotting, stop using that phrase as an excuse. No book is worth peoples’ lives and I will die on the hill that thinking some bigot’s poorly written book is worth more consideration than living people makes you an enabler and a jerk of a person.

it's really disappointing how people's critique of jkr starts and ends with her transphobia, and they completely ignore her blatant antisemitism, racism, homophobia, slavery apologism, sympathy for the wizard nazis, (the wizard nazi incel) snape's redemption, the villain of fantastic beasts trying to stop the holocaust, and the new game literally being a rehash of the blood libel myth.

Every time you reblog these power-couples, Lady Moldy-Butt and Elongated Muskrat are THIS closer to being sued into oblivion.