There Are Tears In My Eyes - Tumblr Posts
OH MY GOD.....I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS!!!! NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS HOW MUCH JOY IS OVERFLOWING IN MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW!!! THE BLACK NAILS...I WANT IT!!!!!!!! I'm using this as my new icon and using it as my new laptop background!! THANK YOU COLA :D <3333
I'm using it rn!!!:
Fanart for my friend @choppedsouldreamer
Just watched Annihilation high out of my mind for the first time and I feel like I'm in a fever dream right now
I loved everything about it. I love how uncaring Area X is, how it lacks purpose. How the bear is not a bear and it won't eat the body because maybe it doesn't understand the purpose of eating anymore. How Area X is natural. How there's not one unnatural thing about it, actually. How it says your need to control is unnatural. That you will self-destruct and you will change and you will create. There WILL be change. There WILL be creation. You ARE part of the whole and the whole is part of YOU. How there is no evil here but people are still dying and everybody is so afraid all of the time and I get it
And then they hit you with the
"It was... dreamlike" "Nightmarish?" "Not always. Sometimes it was beautiful"
and fuck, isn't everything?
kanej + modern au (somewhere not in lij)
the ghost crew's first holiday together as a team!!
my gift for @mymblesbuir as part of the @starwarsfandomfests winter gift exchange!
Don’t you just hate being an empathetic person sometimes...? When the person you care about is hurting, and you can’t help it but feel melancholy as well.
I’m sitting here with dried stained tears on my face and thinking about things that I shouldn’t be overthinking about. But here I am doing exactly that. I’m crying my eyes out silently at 10 to 1 in the early morning of September 2nd and all I can think of “what can I do?” I’m lying in bed writing all my thoughts and feelings down because it’s too late for someone to be up to listen to them.
au where atsushi gets hit w/ an ability and is in a coma and is fighting for his life
atsushi has a strong desire to live sure but also thinks that itd just be better (and that he deserves to) if he went and died in a ditch
becuz of this, so close to death, atsushi has little will to fight
mayhaps he's been feeling not good for a while but didnt realize how not good
anyway thats not important whats important is as per the ability he can still observe the world and the ppl he might leave as a ghost of sorts
he's floating around the hospital or following his friends, observing
he watches as kyouka cries holding his body's hand, begging him to fight, begging him to not leave and leave her alone - refusing to leave his side until someone has to take her away
he watches kenji try to pretend every things fine - reassuring anyone who'll listen that atsushi is strong - and talk to atsushi as if he's simply closing his eyes for a bit - seemingly in denial about everything
he watches junichiro alternate between trying to comfort everybody, trying to process everything and having fits of rage and hurt where he screams and yells and completely breaks down
he watches kunikida be there for anyone and everyone and try to continue as normally as he can but always being a little off - a little too slow, a little too tired - but still putting up a front until its just him and atsushi's body and he's apologizing for letting this happen begging atsushi to wake up
he watches dazai's face stay blank the entire time he's there only to drink more and more and get scarier and scarier - visit oda and ask the stone what to do - curse his own ability for not stopping the ability thats hurting atsushi - being too scared to go anywhere near atsushi in the fear that atsushi's regenerational abilities will stop working and he'll hurt even more
he watches ranpo put up a strong face - take on more cases - find the ability user quickly but be unable to find any other way for atsushi to get better other than just getting better - he knows theres no way but still he pushes it becuz there has to be but even the ability user breaks down in a session w/ him and dazai and admits there isnt but there has to be
he watches yosano try and heal him over and over - through her ability and her actual knowledge in being a doctor - watches her stay by his side through everything - there to fix any small inconvenience he may have like a too bright room or a non fluffy pillow, waiting, obsessively checking his vitals
he watches the president hold everyone together - keep the ada floating and offering support to anyone who wants it - watches his face grow more and more tired as he waits - as they all wait - watches him visit atsushi's body and give him updates on whats happening, waiting
he watches naomi fill his room with gifts, keeping a bright smile on her face whenever she enters only for it to drop the second she's far away enough so that when he wakes up he cant see it
watches the clerks take turns visiting him w/ gifts and encouragement, helping the president hold down the agency, while trying to be strong
watches lucy spill hot tea on her hands because she's worrying about him again - watches her get upset and angry when anyone so as much hints that atsushi won't get up - watches her talk to him and try to convince him to wake up
and atsushi grieves becuz of his own lack of understanding on how loved he has become
akutagawa doesn't falter when he learns about atsushi and atsushi kind of wishes he did - when he sees atsushi he doesn't blink or react, simply nods and leaves - and atsushi feels strange at having confirmation that he does not matter much to him - sometimes akutagawa visits - not always and never in a pattern - random and quick visits where he only watches atsushi for a moment before leaving - in the end, atsushi follows him becuz watching the ada and lucy gets too hard - he expects akutagawa to go about his day, atsushi in the back of his mind - maybe a little concern for him as his partner but nothing to fret about
atsushi spends his day with akutagawa wishing he could reach out and touch him and hold im as he watches one of the strongest people he knows give in to their grief and fall apart, with no agency members to see him, no friend there to see what akutagawa surely calls his weakness, only him, atsushi's ghost, and gin's hurried footsteps as she comes home
anyway
why did i write this