Twisted Samurai Advice - Tumblr Posts

Her hair is objectively better.

I hope this clears things up for you, Gavin-Dono.

-Simon Blackquill

Hey, need help settling a debate and we settled on you as the cruel and impartial judge:

Who has better hair: The Fop Klavier, or Prosecutor Sahdmadhi?

Please answer, it's for science. (Also money)

Detective.

If you wish this to be anonymous, you must needs present the illusion of even handedness. Refraining from degrading the Sad Monk as he deserves does not hide anything if you attack Gavin-Dono in the same breath, Rather, It betrays you, as you would preach the man's "virtues" given the chance.

As for your query, first, this is not a request for advice. Second, as neither of them deserve such accolades, I must therefore ponder over it as I read my other questions. I see there are others in here regarding the topic, including one from you. I shall respond to one of these with my answer.

Regretfully,

-Simon Blackquill

Prosecutor Blackquill,

I hear you're quite fond of birds. Plenty make their homes in bushes or trees nearby, and I do appreciate their presence.

I have my worries though; cats, mid-flight mishaps, and even larger birds run the risk of injury or even disabling their flight. Sometimes to the point of needing human intervention to ensure their survival. Any advice for looking after such unfortunate avians if the need arises?

Sparrows (not sparrow hawks like your plumed partner!) and crows are most common here, if it helps.

-A Fellow Feather Friend

Fine Feather Friend,

unfortunately, means to reduce such injury are limited. Cats in the area may be dealt with, but injury is sadly inevitable. My own feathered friend has caused injury and death to smaller birds near her on occasion, in her generosity she attempted to feed one to me once. it is the cycle of life, and the larger birds need not be scolded for such a thing. Cats, on the other hand...

But I am getting away from myself. once you find an injured avian, what are you to do?

Firstly, ensure they are not likely to hurt themselves further. wear gloves if you must handle them, and be careful. Remember, they are afraid of you, and will try to escape. they care not if you are injured while they avoid what is, to them, certain death. Approach from behind, and be gentle. a butterfly net may be helpful, but only if you ensure you do not injure it. have a box or a bag ready for it, something they are unlikely to injure themselves on. place a towel in the box prior to placing them, so they have something to grasp. make sure air can enter, place a towel or something similar over the top so they can not escape. place in a dark, safe, quiet place while you take further steps. Do not handle them more then absolutely necessary, they do not know you, and for songbirds, intense stress can be fatal.

For your next step, I would call the nearest wildlife rehabilitation center. For birds common to the area they may not intervene, I remember calling animal care and control for a robin when I was a boy, and was told there was nothing to be done, but perhaps with more effort I would have found the proper channels. I did not yet understand there was more then one group to call for such things, and my parents were unaware as well. Finding a rehabilitator would have been the next step, and there are resources for such things.

Another time a young hawk was downed. poor mite had been hopping all over the neighborhood, and had not fully come into its adult feathers. watched it for hours, then helped the lady catch the fellow. He was taken to the local rescue, and I hope was able to live full life.

If you are, unfortunately, unable to find one, assess the injuries. a bird who was only stunned may be able to be released. If there is a vet in your area who specializes in birds, they may have advice, and you may even have spoken to them already whilst looking for rehabilitation.

I can not recommend you attempt to treat injury yourself, as I've no idea what your home looks like, nor your education. I was able to successfully treat Taka from an injury whilst in Prison, but it would be wrong of me to recommend recreating those conditions. I'm lucky she ever forgave me for the indignity, and even more lucky she recovered...

Had I been less fortunate, I would have had to bury her.

Even if everything is done correctly, a burial is sometimes the best you can do. If they pass in your care, lay them to rest, and be done.

-Simon Blackquill

(out of character, a lot of the information shared is from https://abcbirds.org/i-found-an-injured-bird-what-should-i-do/ but I would recommend looking at this site as well! they also have some good information, and if its not an emergency, looking up rehabilitation in your area first may be better then the other way around. both the robin and the hawk stories Simon shared are things that happened to me, but unlike Simon my experience more or less ends there. If you get injured, see a doctor! you don't know if the bird was healthy or not!)

Advice for solving my rat problem. I hope this is the sort of advice you give.

Second Reader,

Rats are not an issue i commonly deal with, but were a real problem when I was in prison. Taka's presence helped greatly, though I begged her not to actually consume the things...I knew they put out poison out for the animals.

I would recommend ensuring every food you have be kept in air-tight containers. Rats can chew through much more then Mice can, but if they can't smell food, they'll be less likely to try. Metal cans are good for this, but not the only option. If they have already discovered where you keep yours, you may try moving your storage. Anything they have already gotten open must be disposed of immediately.

If you know of a way for rats to get in, do your best to seal it. an open crawl space is an invitation, even without their ability to chew a new entry point. You can not truly rat-proof your home, but you can insure they work for it.

Set out traps, and do not balk at the idea of lethal ones. It is well and good to respect the lives of animals, but if they stay you will be at risk for serious illness, and if you release them elsewhere then they will scourge another family instead. Releasing them far away from humans is merely turning them lose on an unsuspecting wild population-either they will die, or the animals they meet will. besides that, releasing rodentia is often illegal, for exactly the reasons I just listed. Better to give them a swift death then prolonging suffering-do not subject them to starvation and harsh weather. Kill them to start.

Now, for the other options...you may either get a ratter, or you may poison them. DO NOT UTILIZE BOTH. Taka made herself ill once eating rats that had been poisoned whilst I was in prison, and it was a bloody fucking nightmare. Thankfully, the likelihood of your hunter getting poisoned by the prey is rare, a dose low enough for a rat to survive is typically low enough for your hunter to manage, but it's not worth the risk.

On that note, if you do intend to get a ratter, be aware of possible symptoms. Rats carry illness, and while a Cat is designed to feed on meat, you need to be aware of possible parasites they may pick up. Keep a veterinarian posted of any change in behavior.

If all else fails, Call an exterminator. Stay somewhere else while they work, and return home, hopefully rat free.

Death is part of life, and your home is your castle. Feel no sympathy for the rats who care not for you.

-Simon Blackquill

Hello!

Any advice for staying committed to learning a skill?

Stormy Reader,

What advice will be most effective depends somewhat on what skill you are attempting to master, but the basics are fairly consistent.

One, set goals for yourself. Two, set aside specific times to work on it. Three, do not let perfect become the enemy of good.

There are people who simply give up, because how can they compare to the masters?

It is a foolish notion, for how long did it take them to become masters?

Talk to others who have the skill you seek, ask advice, ask to see what they can do. Find yourself a teacher if you can, or peers who seek the same skill.

Then, remind yourself why you are doing it, why this is a skill you seek. Move forward with time.

Reflective,

-Simon Blackquill