Waffling - Tumblr Posts

i wandered into the abyss before she could bring herself to care

and now nobody can pull me out because their hooks and anchors sicken me

the light i once craved feels blinding

i wear this jacket pretty much daily xD post w glasses and no makeup, for transparency's sake(?) happy 2024 btw! can't wait to post some gothy stuff i got on holidays / sotd is 'i don't wanna be me' by type O

when you grow up completely inadequate and below-average: no good at conversation, or sports, or looks, or intelligence, no passion or talent—

self destruction is a neat party trick for a while; you're a child proidgy until you find out kids years younger are reaching into their skin and starving to a rot

is it really extraordinary once you turn 14?

is your hurt enough once it becomes bearable?

are you poetry after the poem has finished?

but now it's too late too little, you've long since abandoned identity in favour of the much more rewarding role of "sick"

you lack the skill to turn this nothingness into somethingness, pain into art that used to be implied with your youth

sit with it now

void

some people are brought up as voids

and when you're not sure how to build a person out of that void, you try filling it instead

with short-term poison-anesthetics; like sharps, or pills, or relationships, or pretend, or food—

or starving that void until it gapes enough to consume even it's own destruction

and the void is always screaming, and so are you, but anyone who hears it loses their mind

i don't know how to be a person, and it hurts. and i'm learning to express that pain with my words, not my body, but it's difficult to detach something that's built into the foundations

how can i describe it when you're a person in all the ways that i'm not?

meds r killing my vibe like i start my day with saline, pills and them blue yakult things?? so spacey now... // anyway idfk sotd is? 'faster' by the manics. woke up and it was in my head