You Ever Wish You Could Be Someone Else?

You ever wish you could be someone else?

And what I mean by that is so you ever wish you could think something else?

And what I mean by that is do you ever wish you didn't doubt your thoughts?

Like

I wanted to make a post talking about unhelpful language in fighting for reform, how using broad strokes to get your point more often then not just alienates people who were already on your side and fighting for reform but now see you've looped them in with a group of assholes

But then I start thinking

Caleb, are you saying that because that's what you think, or because you identify with the people these broad strokes are talking about and are terrified you are just like the assholes because if you're an asshole your best friend will leave you?

I think no, but that's also what I would think if I were an asshole because assholes are very hypocritical and self righteous when it comes to other people

So because I'm me it's gone to a post about not using alienating language to questioning my identity, my friendship, and whether or not I'm a good person

Does that happen to anyone else or am I just dumb?

I NOW KNOW HOW TO SEW (kinda)

Made from the library computer

The sad realizations that:

One, not all your mutuals have the same opinions as you

Two, a lot of people on the earth have extreme opinions

And three, your mutual is openly sexist to your gender and just didn't know who you were when they followed you

Is very sad

Cramped upon a seat of ocean teal, hunched like a man of Notre Dame, and eyes so sore they’re crying.

I hadn’t slept well; slept long; slept peacefully; slept happily.

A woman's voice drones on in alto anger; the wolf who cried wolf, the fraud and the fake.

Her life wrapped in niceties and good towards others that hides an ableist mind.

Stickers dot a man's computer excessively, little jokes and nerdy things which make him happy enough; a cute blue angle that’s always right.

The room is devoid of warmth or cold, expressionless temperaturley, with four white walls of stone holding the present world in equilibrium; balance just a synonym for nothing.

I think I’ll leave this place soon.

I can’t stand it, can’t stomach it, can’t belong in it.

A white walled world of ableist women preaching to rows of kids in teal seating, small trivialities keeping us going.

It’s tiring.

Recently I've started hearing music where there is none, any hour of the day and all of a sudden part of my alarm song starts playing

Not like, it's stuck in my head and I hear it in may head

More like it's playing in the room over, extremly life like, but the second I start thinking about it the music disappears

Kind of an odd development, but not an unwelcome one, I got theme music