My Blog Really Has Transformed Into A Transition Blog. I Love Photographing Myself, And Being Able To

My blog really has transformed into a transition blog. I love photographing myself, and being able to see the transformation. I still write poetry, but not as often, and when I do it is all too personal. I do hope to write more, just looking for all the right motivations, and the gumption to do it

I spent most of my life raging

Dancing across manic depressive states.

Didn't know what it was

Didn't know how to fight it

But I kept surviving

In spite of how bad it got.

The meds and the therapy saved my life.

I didn't fade

New Years and thriving

I am a woman. How often that feels weird to say, but each day I become more what I know to be true in my heart, and I do know it in my heart, what the world sees be damned. I am beautiful and glorious, and I am obsessed with my own wonder

I wanted to know God

And when I did

I did not like what I had seen.

From the depths of love

To the peaks of hate

God is all too real for me.

Dysphoria hits hard sometimes.

I look in the mirror and I don't see what I want.

There stands an imposter

Telling me

"you'll never be loved

Never be seen."

It runs over and over in my head

Stealing every moment.

Soon I am back in the bed

Just trying to hide.

Pulling up blankets

Running from myself.

Sometimes I can escape it

Today isn't one of those days.

I do my best.

I know my heart.

Just exhausted by it all

Ready to be me

Inside and out.