Quite Literally How It Feels Reading Tims 90s Misogynistic Era.

Quite literally how it feels reading Tim’s 90’s misogynistic era.

Remember that one reddit post where someone thought peanut butter was supposed to be spicy until they realized they were actually allergic and poisoning themselves? That but with Bruce Wayne and strawberries.

Bruce asks Tim for some strawberries because Alfred is too busy with— well everything, and Tim, of course, obliged and brought Bruce some strawberries and a cup of tea for himself.

Then the coughing started.

“Ah, I need to slow down” Bruce thinks to himself despite only eating 3 the first minute. Tim gives him a weird look and commented that he didn’t enjoy strawberries because they are too sour.

“You mean spicy?” Bruce questioned, finally looking away from his screen.

“No… sour.”

Bruce didn’t respond and they never spoke of it again.

A few days later, Dick is over because he had left some stuff last time he visited. and brought Bruce some strawberries, fresh ones too, because Alfred informed him that Bruce would be extra cranky since he got stabbed by an umbrella.

Bruce’s satisfied and ate some but had to stop and took some deep breaths. When Dick asked if his lungs got punctured, Bruce glared at him which brought some confusion.

“What?” Dick asked, his brow furrowed. “I’m just eating too fast. Leave me alone.” Bruce grumbled back.

“You ate one.”

Dick was going to continue but Bruce stood up. An argument would’ve occurred if Bruce hadn’t collapsed only after taking a few steps toward the batcave entrance. He and Dick assumes he was just dizzy from blood loss and left it at that.

Instances like this keep occurring with every member of the batfamily and no one really thought about it.

One day, Bruce is at some convention and Gordon is there along with some of the other GCPD. He sees a bowl of fresh, red, juicy, spicy strawberries and he takes a few. Half of the bowl.

Gordon greets him like always and they have small conversation until Bruce stopped mid sentence to take some deep breaths. Gordon is obviously worried upon seeing the billionaire sniffling, sweating, and having trouble breathing and asked if he was sick.

Bruce explained that he wasn’t sick and the spice of the strawberries causes him to sniffle and sweat. Gordon just sits there nodding as Bruce went on a rant about how much he loved strawberries because fruit aren’t usually spicy and he finds it hard to breathe because he eats so fast. He also talked about how his kids never had these problems.

After hearing the rant, Gordon took the bowl, threw it away, sat Bruce down, and explained that those were actually symptoms of an allergic reaction.

Later, Bruce had to awkwardly text the family group chat to never bring him strawberries again because he was allergic. He never lives it down.

Please. I love the idea of old veteran Bruce.

The Flashpoint Paradox where Thomas was just this really old Batman? Yes. That. I want an old Bruce that just knows everything, isn’t silly or formal, very… gruff and “>:(“ and tired looking all the time, and has a buttload of kids, +♾️ points if he’s a grandpa.

Grandpa Bats <3

The official dc tik tok account posting a superbat video was not on my 2024 bingo card

So I have the first chapter down (I’m gonna make some changes before I publish) and now I have two more ideas…

1.) Henry Danger x DC

SOMEONE HEAR ME OUT BECAUSE I AM THINKING ABOUT IT BUT IDK

2.) Spider-Man and Batman.

I see this a lot but it’s always the Tom Holland Spider-Man, I wanna do something different than the usual thing. If you have any suggestions or requests, feel free to share them! :)))

Hc for Jason+Bruce because I just thought this was funny: Jason used to (still does) read Bruce bedtime stories.

Jason was a little nerd boy that didn’t have any close friends. He was the type of kid to do homework with a large grin. Saying this brings up the topic of his books.

Jason first comes to Bruce and simply just says, “Bedtime story?” Now Bruce was obviously a little surprised but agreed to it. Jason was still a kid, he might just find comfort in being read to.

He definitely did not expect to be in bed while this Crime Alley boy read to him while also ranting about how bullshit the movie was because it strained so far from the book.

And of course, Bruce is just lying there like “Well whatever makes him happy.” You can’t blame him either, imagine a mini thug kid reading you a bedtime story without stumbling on words, changing voices for each character, and confidently yapping.

Little does Bruce know that Jason did this because it was what he used to do with his mom while she was sick or recovering from an overdose.