Texting Them "He's Gone, You Can Come Over"

Texting them "He's gone, you can come over"

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi, Sigma, Fyodor X Fem!Reader

Genre: Crack, Humor

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.7K

A/n: Have you noticed how much I love to write about tiktok trends?🚶🏻‍♀️

ok so this prank is hilarious XD

your bf was here since last night and now that it was 8 am, he had to leave for work

I MEAN, this is the perfect opportunity for pranks, right?

so as you give him a goodbye kiss, you wait for him to close the door and approach his car, and that's when you send the text "He's gone baby; you can come over"

↳Sigma

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

so he literally freezes when he sees the message. He takes a dumbstruck look at your house, and then at the phone, and this goes on for a while until he believes what he's seeing is not a hallucination lmfao.

Slowly shoves and the phone back into his pocket, and slinkily hides behind a tree near your house.

youre like "BRO WHAT THE FU- "

Help the dudes acting like a fucking Stalker-

remains like that for a while, carefully analysing every man that passes by your house, but then he slowly comes out, and Starts doing something with his phone.

that when your phone rings.

"O-oh Hey baby, what's up?" "Um, y/n? you sent me a message a while ago… what was that about?"

You try to act dumbfounded as guilt feels you up.

"Oh? that? Oh I accidentally sent it to you! that wasn't for you baby!" "Oh thank god then! ok! bye honey!" "bye!"

lets out a relieved sigh And starts walking to work; and that's when it hits him.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE SENT FOR HIM-

lmao just tell him it's a prank already

↳Chuuya Nakahara

APEOIH;SHR['HWGA'HGWNE'WG

God I love this guy XDDDDD

Ok this guy is a FREAK when it comes to cheating. Like he will literally SNAP OUT.

so when he reads the message, he will immediately approach his car and opens the car boot.

You look at him, surprised and curious, wondering what the fuck is he doing; when he takes out something and you freak out.

BRO IS THAT A FUCKING CHAINSAW-

WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO BIG HELP-

LMAO LMAO SUDDEN REGRET*

not a second passes that the door literally blows up and Mr. Mafioso breaks inside.

"Y/N YOU FUCKING BITCH IM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU-"

Y/n: panics* lmao

BRO WTF CHILL OUT ARE YOU A FUCKING GANGSTER

oh wait yeah he is a fucking gangster🚶🏻‍♀️

explain to him before he tears you up lmfao

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

Pffft

You think you're so smart huh

Bro the dude doesn't even make an expression😭

like, literally continues walking after taking a glance at your message.

YOU ARE STUNNED.

I mean you weren't even expecting something cheesy, but at least a bit of discomfort on his face WOULD HAVE BEEN SATISFYING-

now youre hurt lmao

You watch his figure getting farther, when you see a notification on your phone.

Fedya, 08:17 AM:

Yeah, sure.

Y/n: breaks down*

YOU RAT BASTARD-

↳Atsushi Nakajima

lmao

PURE BABY

DOESN'T EVEN THINK OF THE POSSIBLITY OF YOU CHEATING

an excited smile appears on his face when he reads your message, which makes you confused.

Like wtf? This isn't right, right? lol

he starts knocking on your door which gets you a bit excited, but the second you open the door, you sank into his warm embrace.

"Y/N BABY ARE YOU PLANNING A SURPRISE PARTY FOR ME? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH-"

bitch wtf lmao

Y/n.exe has stopped working

NOW YOU HAVE TO THROW HIM A PARTY CAUSE HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL HIM THAT IT WAS JUST A PRANK-

lol you never play a prank on him again.

↳Osamu Dazai

HE WILL LITERALLY COME BACK INSIDE AND WAIT FOR "THE GUY" YOU MEANT IN YOUR TEXT TO JOIN YOU.

I mean he sees right through your little prank, but it wouldn't be fun if he ruins it like that, right?

So he walks back inside and starts nagging with A VERY DRAMATIC TUNE.

"Y/N Baby are you having people over?"

"I- um- "

"Youre so mean! trying to have fun without me! I CANT BELIEVE YOU-"

Sobs as he wipes his invisible tears*

"Ah… sorry…" ⚆_⚆

Sits on the couch next to you, waiting for your friend to arrive.

"Um… aren't you late for work?"

"Nah who cares. I don't do anything there anyway" "Right"

You remain still, thinking which one of your friends are available at this moment so you could ask them to come over lmao

Embarrassing failure*

Reblogs are sooooo much appreciated! :)

Imagine your breath getting hitched as NIKOLAI moves his lips from your mouth down to your inner thigh, making you shiver under his touch. Oh He loves how you're this vulnerable under him, so needy for him and his fat cock; how you want him to bend you on his lap and place his drown out thin fingers on your entrance, making you mewl and beg him to touch you more. More, more, more.

He smiles when he spots your desperate eyes on him, pleading him to go further; maybe he'd have teased you a little if you weren't this adorable for him.

"Kolya?" "Mhm? What is it, Dove?" Your cheeks heat up not from embarrassment, but from how his fingers are trailing around your swollen clit.

"We- we're out of condoms and I'm not on the pill..."

A small frown appears on his lips, thinking about how he has to hold himself from making a mess out of his precious angel, but his pout fades away when suddenly an interesting idea hits him.

"No worries Dove, Don't tell me that you forgot who you're dating?"

He rises a bit as he rips his clothes off, revealing his smooth skin that has a few faded scars on it, making you want to kiss the pain away. Not attempting to break eye contact, he slowly reaches for his cloak that is placed on the other side of the bed, taking his hand into it, only to pull out a golden familiar packet that makes you levitate your eyebrows out of surprise.

Well, it's Nikolai after all; he can't get his way without putting on a show, can he?

He smirks, that familiar smirk that you practically live for, and rips the corner of the packet with his teeth, making room for his fingers to be able to get inside, spitting the material out on the floor;

And then theres you, thinking that's totally unnecessary because you already came only by witnessing that one move♡

Could I maybe request Atsushi overhearing his female s/o say she has a crush on someone, only to find out later that he is the one she has a crush on?

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Atsushi X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.4K

A/n: Awwww this is so cute! T^T

To make things easier (For me lol), let's consider you as an agency member.

Atsushi likes you, not as a friend, and he's aware of that; but as we all know, it takes a lot of courage for this boy to confess.

You're kind, strong, confident, beautiful and independent; and he somehow thinks that he's not good enough for you and you deserve a lot better.

So one day, when he overhears you and Naomi giggling while trying not to be loud, he gets curious.

"You should tell him that!" Naomi chuckled and winked at you, and you shook you head and smiled. "You're thinking too highly of me; I can never tell him that his beautiful eyes are the only thing I think about before going to sleep"

Oh shit.

You... You're interested in someone? But who?

Is lowkey filled up with despair cause he was kinda hoping for you not to get together with anyone until he confesses 😭

Don't ask why he doesn't know that either lmao

But then he goes like "I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. I mean She's far better than me, of course I never had a chance with her"

So he tries to get over you, by telling himself all these kind of stuff, but it all goes to waste when you ask for his advice about it.

"Um, Atsushi-san? Can you help me with something here?"

"Sure, Y/n-chan, what is it?"

"Well- um- You see- I have a crush on this guy and- how do you think the boys like to be confessed?"

The boy is totally broken now.

Why aren't you asking Dazai instead of him? You know that he has literally zero experience with this. Are you trying to add more to his pain? 🤧

"Well... I think that... you should... um... like, make him his favorite meal? Because, like, I would be head over hills for you if you would... I'M NOT SAYING THAT I AM BUT- It's just a nice gesture, I guess..."

"Oh? Ok! Thank you for your help! 🤭"

That night he went to bed sighing to himself, thinking your crush is enjoying the food you made him with love and care right now.

What he was not expecting was a bowl of Chazuke in front of his house, with a small note on it.

And he was definitely not believing the letters on the note.

"Go out with me? :)"

His joy and surprise at that moment is unbelievable, and he just can't believe that he was actually the guy you liked.

He might even thing that you're just messing with him until Kyouka assures him that you're definitely into him.

So on that day when you went to the agency, you were met the bowl you gave him this morning, only filled with strawberry candies this time and with a small "I like you too!" note on top of them :)

Reblogs are wildly appreciated!

Heyyy Had a smol request to make! I really loved the headpat hcs you wrote <33 if possible, could you please write some for Chuuya and Akutagawa too? Take your time! Stay hydrated, and take care of yourself <333

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Chuuya, Akutagawa X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.9K

A/n: When you said that you wanted to send a request I didn't think you meant this lmao. I suffered till I got some ideas XD

I got a bit carried away with Chuu btw🤧

Part 1 with Dazai, Fyodor and Ranpo

↬Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

◆I honestly think that having a platonic relationship with this guy is really fun! And maybe even better than romantic.(Don't ask me why cuz that's just another story)

◆He isn't used to have someone as a friend, so this is all new to him and hes still, you know, testing the water.

◆It will take him a lot of time to get used to, well, You; but he will eventually if youre trustworthy and capable enough.

◆He cares for you in his own particular way, and by that I mean that no one is capable to notice it. Not even you yourself; but he does care, and that's what that matters.

"Oh my god I'm Exhausted!" is what you say when you inter the room and throw yourself on the couch, taking a deep breath while relaxing your body. "Mori is planning on killing me by sending me to these death missions! I can feel it! " Turning your head to the silent man who was slowly taking a sip from his tea, you sulked and got upset because he was totally ignoring you. "As I was saying… the damn snipers were shooting at me from everywhere! I nearly got shot in the head if my men hadn't blocked them!" Even a tiny glance was enough for you, but Akutagawa was still silent, pretending you didn't exist at all, and this made you angry. "Oi! Goth boy!" "…" "Fig wasting machine!" "…" "Twenty year old man who doesn't know how to smile!" "…" Knowing him for quite a long time, you knew how to catch his attention, but it was a risk you were willing to take, which you weren't before because you weren't that close in the beginning. "Oi! Coward!" The second those words came out of your mouth, the man looked at you sending daggers through his eyes, while forming a blade out of his coat, ready to attack you. What he was not expecting was for you to smile and move closer to him. "What? Are you a coward?" "Do you have a death wish?" "Then why did you look at me when I called you that?" His blade slowly came down as he stared at you a bit more, then went back on drinking his tea. You rolled your eyes and then turned your head to the opposite direction, and started whining to yourself in a low voice. "Well what am I even expecting from you. You don't care if I even die or anything. I come to your office everyday trying to make conversation but all you do is just ignoring me. You don't even look at me! Like, do you hate me that much? But why? what did I d-" your words were immediately cut off by the sensation of his hand on your head, slowly patting you; And when you looked at him, he was looking back, and not in a threatening way. "Good job" Now it was your turn to be silent. Not because you wanted to get back at him; but because you were caught off guard and didn't know how to react. "Happy? Now shut up and let me have my tea in peaceful silence"

↬Chuuya Nakahara

◆Being in a platonic relationship with this guy is just so entertaining! Hes fun, interesting, brave, cool, etc.

◆But the thing is, hes been betrayed so many times that he just cant fully trust you. He wont show it at all though. He will chat with you, drink with you and stuff, but hes still afraid if youre gonna be like his old "friends" .He will eventually trust you if you two spend time together.

◆But it will take a lot of time, cause he did considered Dazai as his friend for 4 whole years; but then…

◆Anyway, hes literally the best if youre willing to put up with his short temper :)

"I hate everything in this shitty world!" "What now?" you grab the bottle of wine from his hand and drinking it till theres not even a drop left, then throw the bottle out of the window. Chuuya would have been be mad if you weren't this angry and tired, but luckily, you had enough that day. "I say hello and they give me work. I run into them in the hallway and they give me work. work, work, work. What am I? A stupid robot or something?" Chuuya looked at you carefully while opening the next bottle, trying to hide it so you wont snatch this one from him too. "Well, you get paid a lot in exchange, so its kind of fair" "Fair? Fair?" Dramatic as always, you sat next to him while covering your face with your hands, trying to fight the anger that was taking over you. "Making you work like a damn machine isn't fair! And were risking our lives by working in the mafia! I nearly died a while ago on the mission! And do you know what they did? Nothing! Nobody even bothered to sat "Thanks for working this hard" or "are you ok?" or "Well done" or- " "Well done. I'm proud of you" Frozen in the spot, you look at him with surprise and shock, while he gives you a small smile that melts your heart. "Awwwwwwwww Chuuuuuu! Waaaaaaaa!" Throwing yourself in his arms, you begin to cry as you wrapped your arms around him. "I love you so much! what am I supposed to do without you! Waaaaa(crying*)!" Chuuya slowly patted your back as he tried to act smooth and not to blush furiously. "Its ok y/n… its ok"

Reblogs are apprecaited!

Hellooo can I request Dazai, Fyodor and Ranpo with a platonic, female reader that's younger and they giver her a headpat? Like she comes back from a mission and they're proud of her and they headpat her. And she goes 0-0? Ty, and bonne journee!

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Fyodor, Ranpo X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humour

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.8 K in total

A/n: Im more into romantic stuff but hears for you :D

Part 2 with Chuuya and Akutagawa

↬Dazai

◆Ok I love this guy (not in a platonic way lmao)

◆I think that he would be a sweet person toward you.

◆I mean, you look so innocent that he just cant bring himself to tease you T^T

◆And since he has Atsushi, he wont ask you to do his work lol

◆Anyway… you got paired up with Atsushi to do a really hard mission. Since you were a rookie at the agency and didn't really expect this much danger, you were a bit careless and although you accomplished the mission, Atsushi got shot while protecting you.

◆You immediately took him back to the infirmary room and waited outside.

"Hes gonna be ok, you know?" Dazai smiled while witnessing how upset and worried you were. "Hes been through worse, and when I say worse, I definitely mean it" "I know, but…" you mumbled, trying to fight the guilty feeling that was taking over you, but failed to do so. "I was just holding him back. He was better off without me. Im sure he could manage to do the mission all by himself and not get a single scratch. I was just a burden to him" He simply chuckled and let out a small sigh. "Stop overthinking it. Youre not a burden" "Yes I- " your words were immediately cut off when you felt his hand on your head, gently caressing your hair. The guilt you were feeling was immediately replaced with a warm, sweet sense, which made your head turn to your coworker and look at him with your mouth widened. The shock and surprise in your eyes made him chuckle one more time. "What?" "Are you flirting with me?" "Wha- Oh my god!" You turned your head at the opposite direction, just to hid your heated cheeks, as you heard him laughing even harder.

↬Fyodor

◆This guy gets his way out of manipulation all the time.

◆But the case is a bit different with you.

◆Youre actually nice to him without having other intentions, so hes interested in you (in his own way, cuz I cant see him in love tbh)

◆The only thing you want from him is to treat you the same as you treat him.

◆He somehow feels like youre a trustworthy person, and he doesn't how to even predict your actions since youre loyalty has no boundries. You were like a underling or a partner; you were more like… a friend.

◆I don't think youre ever gonna hear him say that though.

"So? How was the mission?" He asked, while standing near the chair you were sitting on, looking at the soda you were drinking. "Meh. I did everything you told me to" "And? " "And It all went exactly the way you planned, and don't act like youre not already aware of that" You took a big sip of your soda to wash awat the exhaust you were going through. This mission was a tricky one, and it needed a lot of effort and energy. Fyodor put a small smile on his face, As he slightly patted your head. "Good job, y/n" And that was when the drops of soda got shot out of your mouth.

↬Ranpo

◆This is literally my first time writing about him so sorry if its not good enough.

◆Ok so hes not one to be proud of others or at least to show it, so were not expecting him to do much here.

◆Hes always minding his own business, and by that I mean mostly his sweets, and sometimes the cases he to solves.

◆But he watches you trying t get close to him to be friends, even bring him homemade cookies in addition to that, hes a tiny, tiny bit touched.

◆You really liked and admired the detective, and he knew that. (I mean bruh! this is Adogawa Ranpo were talking about)

◆So he lets his guard down a bit. Maybe youre not that dull after all :)

"Phew! Finally I can have a rest" You sighed out of relief, sitting in front of Ranpo who was decorating his desk with his sweets. He gave you a small look before grabbing the pocky Packet. "Don't get your hopes up. Kunikida will make you fill another report in a few minutes" "What? But I just came back from a mission! I worked really hard! Don't I deserve a rest?" Your whiney tune made him look back at you, and examine the bruises on your arm that were the result of your hard work on the mission. He knew that working could be really exhausting, and he knew that you were serious about your occupation. Yeah, you did deserve a rest. You placed your head on the desk in front of you and closed your eyes to have a quick rest before starting to work again, when you sensed a hand, slowly patting your head. Your eyes immediately got wide open , and were pointed at the detective, who was looking at his candies while patting you. Ranpo. Adogawa. Was. Patting. You. "You did work hard. Well done" All of the exhaustness inside you faded away as you got excited and smiled at him. "Really?" "yeah" "So… Can I have a cookie?" "Know your place, y/n" "Tch, youre so mean"

Reblogs are appreciated :)

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs Pairings: Fyodor X Fem!Reader Genre:Smut Format: Drabble Warnings: NSFW Content, Thigh riding, Corruption kink, Degrading kink, Edging Word Count: 0.2K A/n: I'm uncomfortable writing about him i have no idea why I'm doing this🚶🏻‍♀️

Smut Under the cut- Beware

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The sound of your whimpers and heavy breathing as you were rubbing your pussy on his clothed thigh was the most delightful thing he's ever heard. He loves how innocent you look, how flustered you can get and how obedient and naive you are. God how much He loves all that, and how much he's eager to ruin you, running his fingertips on your heated skin until your begging him to touch you more, Not giving in until your begging him to fuck you, edging you until you're on your knees begging him to let you cum. he's fond of all that.

He loves how needy you get when he's refusing to make you cum, to the point that you take the lead and start to get yourself off just using his thigh, riding him as your moisture ruins his white pretty pants.

He loves how much of a slut you can get with him, and only with him, cause no one has aware laid a finger on you, and won't be able to from now on. God how much he enjoys the sight of your reddened cheeks, and how your moans get louder when you speed up and rub your sex on him even harder when you feel his gaze on you.

Oh how much he wants to wreck you, see that greedy side of you when you get all worked up and blushful by just the smallest touch of him.

Maybe if you be a good girl and beg him a little more, he'll compromise and fuck you real good; but for now, all he wants to do is to sit back and enjoy this little filthy show youre casting for him.

Reblogs are what...? :)