I Could Keep You Safe. Theyre All Afraid Of Me. No One Would Hurt You Again, Or Id Kill Them. - Sansa

“I could keep you safe. They’re all afraid of me. No one would hurt you again, or I’d kill them.” - Sansa Stark, ACoK

— Why are you always so hateful? I was thanking you… — Just as if I was one of those true knights you love so well, yes.

Sansa IV, A CLASH OF KINGS

Everytime I want to amuse myself and cheer myself up, I remember how much of dumpsters on fire are Book Jaime and Sansa concerning Brienne and The Hound. 

Jaime being all: stupid, stubborn, ugly wench, why on earth do I bother, but Gods please give her strength, keep her safe, I wonder what she’s doing, she’s so gentle, I’m just gonna dream about her all the time, naked preferably, because she’s so ugly. She’s just too annoying and I want her out of my life, I want nothing to do with her so I’m gonna give her my most precious possession and send her to restore my fucked up honor, and she’s so ugly but I’m gonna stare at her astonishing eyes. She’s so boring so I’m gonna do everything I can to get her to talk to me cause I want so desperately to make her take me seriously. ‘Ser Jaime”, oh my god, she called me Ser Jaime, not Kingslayer, heavy breathing. I don’t care about her at all, and her fucking boring sense of honor, so I’m gonna tell her my heavy guarded secret, I never, ever told anyone nor I plan on doing so ever. You stupid, pigheaded wench! Here, take my precious sword, also I had armour made specifically for you cause I totally didn’t pay attention to your naked body after staring at you like a goat, and why would I, it’s enough I dream of you naked with a glowing sword being the only light I have left, here, take this horse that’s as ugly as you are, but it’s so beautiful, *shoves Podrick*. I wanted to kill you, and fuck if I care what happens to you, so I’m gonna lose the most important part of my body, which is my sword hand, to protect your honor, while wanting to stripe you of it myself, and I’m gonna fuck off from my safe return to my loving sister I so wanted to go back to to jump into a bear pit to save you unarmed and one handed because I totally hate you and you’re so stubborn and ugly…

Then there’s Sansa: He’s so repulsive, oh Gods, why is he so cruel? He’s no true knight, so dishonorable and violent, so I’m just gonna hope I can get him to be less cruel and try to get to him because I know he won’t hurt me, but damn he’s the cruelest man ever.  He has no morals, no chills and no honor, but he saved me, so I’m gonna think about him all the time. I dream of a handsome prince and knights in shining armour so I’m gonna spend every moment of my day and night thinking how I want this fucked up man to kiss me. I’m not a stupid girl anymore, I will learn to play the game and know what to do, so I’m just gonna imagine this dog of a man kissing me everytime I think of having anything to do with a man. So dishonorable, running away from a battle, please give me something to remember you by. He was just Joffrey’s cruel hound, but I’m gonna keep his blood stained cloak and put it on my shoulders every time I feel sad and lonely. He’s so disgusting, so when I thought I was being forced to do my duties as a wife, I imagined him in my bed instead of the man I was married to, and damn this hound, how dare he kiss me and make me sing and leave me nothing but a bloody cloak. I hate his cruelty and everything about him but Father please gentle the rage inside of him, keep him safe so I can still imagine him kissing me whenever someone else tries to. Now, I don’t want to think of this brute, I’m just gonna hug his dirty cloak cause he so means nothing to me…

But then, Brienne and The Hound are no better either.

Brienne *I’m so clueless how great my feelings for this man are, so my dumpster fire brain will turn it all into undying respect and saving his honor, and I’d rather hang than betray him and Ser Jaime this, Ser Jaime that * of Tarth

Sandor *this stupid little girl knows nothing of the world, and she’s so naive and damn I hate stupid little birds, but I’m protecting her with everything I have and trying to warn her how cruel life can be, and Little Bird I won’t hurt you, come with me I will kill everyone who tries to hurt you and whine about you to your sister with my dying breathe * Clegane

ASHKHSAADHKSADGJ OMGGGG✨✨✨

✨ No True Knight ✨

A rework of one of my earlier works