Welp, There Go My Ovaries

Welp, there go my ovaries

Imagine...

Coming home from a long day of work/school/whatever gets you out of the house and flopping down in exhaustion, swearing never to move again. Then, you smell something sweet, and out comes out the baker himself... Kensei. With no shirt and a fluffy piece of your favorite cake. He says you can have some....for 50 squats.

You frown, for you have been cakeblocked.

YOU DON'T GET TO JUDGE ME

DoNT teLl me hOw to lIVE MY lifE

Will forever reblog 😹 💙

Starrk, Ichigo, and Grimmjow going grocery shopping?

Ahhhhh! First ask, and it’s with

three of my favorite guys! ♥♥

Starrk:

·       First of all, please share your secret to how you got him out of bed.

·       He is definitely going to grab a

cart, even if the trip is just for a few items. Why? So he has something to lean on while he’s walking around.

·       He definitely likes to have a list, so he can be in and out to return to lounging as soon as possible.

·       He can definitely be trusted to shop alone.

·       If he’s shopping with you, he’s not really helpful for making on-the-fly decisions.

o  “What do you think? Should we get a rotisserie chicken?”

“…Why?”

“’Cuz they’re tasty!”

“It’s not on the list…”

·       If it’s not on the list, it doesn’t exist.

·       Super essentials-driven. Milk? Bread? He’s all over that.

·       Buuuuut, if there is one thing he will splurge on, it’s minimal effort/microwave meals that he can have when you’re not there to cook

o  The freezer is full of microwavable taquitos. FULL.

·       He about died when he discovered Costco.

·       He prefers buying in bulk simply because it limits the number of times he’d have to leave home, which often leads to some confusion on your part.

o  “Coyote…darling…is there a reason we needed 144 packs of instant ramen?”

o  “Why is there so much peanut butter?!

·       Fair warning: do not get sidetracked and start talking to someone. He will likely go from slouching on the cart, to leaning heavily, to falling asleep standing up and subsequently falling to the

floor.

Grimmjow:

·       You brave, brave individual.

·       This is the one you have to keep close by at all times. Why? Because he will put anything and everything that tickles his fancy into the shopping cart if you aren’t looking.

o  5 pounds of steak

o  Random sodas

o  3 different types of Trojan lubricant (“I mean, why the fuck not?”)

·       If, by chance, you end up losing him, the best thing you can do is to look for the free sample lady

o  Chances are he’s gonna be arguing with her because…

o  “Hey, give that back, young man!”

“You said they’re free!”

*frustratedly pointing at the tasting cups* “The little cup’s worth, not the whole box!”

“Fuck that!”

·       Due to the above interaction, chances are you will have to leave the store in a hurry because he will have grabbed all of the product out of spite and run

out of the store.

o  He will absolutely be laughing maniacally.

o  You will absolutely be writing an apology letter for him.

·       Do not—absolutely do not—release him unsupervised into the

supermarket. You are better off calling someone else if you can’t leave the

house.

o  He will not bring you what you asked for.

o  Worse yet, he will have probably forgotten that you had even asked him to get you something in the first place.

o  Just bags and bags of literally nothing you asked for bought with your credit card.

·       I don’t know you would think Grimmjow + grocery store would equal anything good. You have no one to blame but yourself for whatever shenanigans ensue

Ichigo:

·       Ah, the perfect specimen of human man

in a store.

·       Since he has two sisters and—let’s be honest—he’s the responsible male of the house, he’s pretty used to grocery shopping.

·       He is very used to making the grocery run and can do it in record time.

o  Shopping with him is fun because you can probably convince him to make it into a fun

game

·       Like Stark, he doesn't like to go without a list, but you could probably convince him to go off-list with just the right amount of puppy-dog pouting.

o  

“S-stop making that face! No means no!”

*pouting intensifies*

“…Okay, one ice cream. But this is the last time!”

·       He tackles the store methodically, trying to avoid any double-backing or turnarounds.

·       And, good grief, is the man the

master of the powerwalk

o  “Ichigo, slow down!”

“Nope! Remember, in and out. That was the plan.”

·       This is, of course, him shopping as a brother/significant other.

·       If it’s for his kid, I feel like he would go nuts with all the health food and baby needs.

o  Like,

all the baby food and formula

o  And healthy stuff for you so that, if you’re breastfeeding, the baby gets only the good stuff

·       He’s not one to indulge often, but when he does, it’s usually something ordinary like chocolate milk or juice boxes or maybe two eight-packs of

Gatorade.

·       What a man

So, when I talk to most people about Bleach, they say the most surprising thing was that Aizen was evil. Me? I knew he was EVIL from the beginning. How you ask? I am attracted to bad guys (hence why I'm such Grimmjow trash. Ugh that man 💙). Ahem..anyway!

I felt nothing for Aizen. Like, absolutely nothing. Is he conventionally attractive? Yeah. But if he doesn't stoke Kitty's fire, he's too evil.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk