I Used To Make Self Deprecating Jokes Aaaall The Time. Probably Didn't Help My Depression At The Time.

I used to make self deprecating jokes aaaall the time. Probably didn't help my depression at the time. A friend of mine tried to get me to stop and I told her I couldn't because it was a coping mechanism.

I'm in a better headspace and now? I don't make those jokes anymore. I can't say for sure if jokes like that directly worsened my depression, but they sure do reinforce some unhealthy thinking patterns on a daily basis, that's for sure.

I know sometimes it's culturally-enforced or even ingrained in us by how we grew up that accepting a compliment is conceited, but it's not really. If someone tells you something nice, they're not just saying it because they like the sound of their own voice, people have to genuinely notice something about you that sticks out that they like, whether it's a mannerism or your the color of your hair or even just the shirt you wore that day. They noticed something about you that they appreciate, and chances are you give people compliments for the same reason. You wouldn't feel angry if someone else accepted your compliment, would you? No! So start accepting other people's compliments and start giving them to yourself more often.

It might feel awkward and weird at first, but believe me it will get easier with time.

what good does it do you to be self-deprecating? to deny compliments? what benefits does it give you? does it bring you joy to think so low of yourself? is it satisfying? is it fun?

and if you think “well it’s because it’s true” that you’re somehow “bad” or “unworthy”, well what’s the point of being self-deprecating? you are the only person who thinks of you like that, and for what purpose? when everyone is telling you that you’re funny and cute, how can you honestly believe you’re not? (and if there are people telling you that you’re bad or unworthy, why do you add to their insults with your own? why hate yourself, especially when others already do?)

especially when it brings you down. you can’t tell me that being self-deprecating brings you joy. if you insult yourself, you aren’t gonna feel good or any better.

if you compliment yourself tho? on a regular basis? if you accept others’ compliments? self-esteem through the fucking roof

gay_irl

You don’t help a plant grow by berating it for not being big enough yet or comparing it to other plants that have grown faster - you help it grow by giving it the water and soil and fertiliser and space and sunlight it needs to give it the best chance of flourishing. And if it needs it, you give it something to lean against to help it grow tall if it’s struggling to stand up by itself.

That’s how you should treat yourself - give yourself the tools and care you need to flourish, and don’t be afraid to lean on other things for support if you need to. It’s easier to flourish that way 🌸

Hope everyone is staying strong and safe out there! This storm will pass

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