Self Compassion - Tumblr Posts
so real because, when you don't know yourself, there is no reason and if there is no reason things become unimportant and when things are unimportant, you feel lost and when you feel lost, life is kinda meaningless and when life feels meaningless you'll get stuck in this spiral of sadness and wallowing and that just sucks
so before you start drastically trying to change things or take action, find yourself first.
find yourself first.
self-everything
notion
misc
(inspired by nenelonomh)
🌸🌸🌸
nobody is irrelevant. nobody is invisible. your neighbors know your name and see you set off to school or work or the backyard everyday, sometimes with a spring in your step and sometimes with hunched over shoulders. there was this one time some stranger pointed you out to their friends and said “that’s the haircut I want” or “I have that shirt, too” or “they go to my school”. someone has admired the way you carry yourself or gave a presentation or even the way you’re so polite when you first meet a person. you’ve made comments or jokes that have stuck in minds of overhearers and eavesdroppers. when old classmates of yours think back to kindergarten or fourth grade or sophomore year they remember you and have an opinion of you. you’ve made recommendations of songs and restaurants and even cookie brands and actually introduced people to their all-time favorites. the cashier at the grocery store knows exactly what laundry detergent your household uses, or even if you don’t do your laundry at all.
you can never be irrelevant. there’s pieces of you everywhere, in a dozen lives, in a hundred dreams, in a million memories. maybe it’s true that you don’t have any friends, and you have a sucky relationship with your family or no family at all and no-one ever checks up on you, and you’re really very lonely, but that doesn’t determine your worth. you do. and so do the billions of small attributions you’ve already made to the world, both long-term and short-term. so thank you.
If you read this post you are contractually obligated to say one (1) good thing about yourself. No self depreciation.
Bio oil is amazing
I decided to finally forgive myself. I went out and got myself some bio oil. It's made for scars and stretchmarks. I have plenty of scars but the only ones that bother me are the self harm ones.
I've been putting bio oil on twice a day for a week (closer to a week and a half). I can see them melting before my eyes. The worst of them, burns that had me in the ER, are a lot paler and less raised. The cuts on my legs are gone on one side.
You don't have to be some idealized future version of yourself to be loved.
«Центрация, прийти в себя за 40 секунд» - Это инструмент для гармонизации внутреннего состояния.
Как часто мы живем в спешке, интернет и жизнь, все становится слишком скоростным, это так же может быть связано с работой, семьей, друзьями и социальной активностью. Иногда мы не успеваем за всеми своими делами и наше эмоциональное состояние начинает нести нас на своих волнах. В такие моменты нам нужно быстро прийти в ресурсное, сильное и гармоничное состояние. Именно для этого было создано 5 видео роликов, соответствующих различным циркадным ритмам.
В каждом из этих видео определенные аудио частоты и визуально-цветовые спектры, чтобы помочь вам выбрать подходящий ролик для вашего настроения и времени суток. РАССВЕТ, ПОЛДЕНЬ, ВЕЧЕР, НОЧЬ и ГЛУБОКАЯ НОЧЬ - в каждом из этих времен мы можем настроить свою энергию на ступень сопряженную с циркадным ритмом. Например, утренний ролик с более высокими частотами и заряжен цветами солнца - дает возможность откалибровать день с энергией и уверенностью. А вечером, теплые приглушенные и низкие частоты могут помочь успокоить наш разум и подготовить наш организм к отдыху.
Для качественной гармонизации внутреннего состояния в видео используется техника центрации, одного качественного глубокого вдоха задержки дыхания и выдоха.
Центрирование позволяет сосредоточиться, успокоиться и прийти в гармонию с окружающим миром. Центрирование - это процесс настройки энергии и концентрации на своих целях. Техника центрации позволяет быстро и эффективно прийти в себя (к себе настоящему) в течение всего 40 секунд.
Таким образом, ролики помогают быстро и легко прийти в гармонию, сосредоточение и силу в любое время суток. Это простой и удобный способ обрести внутреннюю гармонию и осознаться за считанные секунды. Почувствовать силу и уверенность в любой ситуации.
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Video & Sound Design:
👽 Oenilloc
🔻linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/oenilloc
In 2024, try not to take things too personally!!
Life is a path which has already been laid down or each step is a new one.
Are we creating destiny or living the destiny.
How far can a human go until he burns like Icarus.
The basis of luck, the universal energy is it innate or is it something which can be developed.
In the process of healing yourself, don't break others around you
21 -
I have to believe in myself. I can’t keep holding on to my anger and resentment, because it’s poisoning me. Acceptance is what moves me forward. I can’t keep berating myself for the past. I’m allowed to fuck up. I can’t change the past. Feel, process, release.
I may never receive an apology. I may never receive forgiveness.
I’m realizing that my life isn’t defined by the mistakes I’ve made. To be human, is to make mistakes.
Be accountable for them and acknowledge their consequences. Don’t let them control the narrative.
But it’s how I rebound, how I rise from the ashes — that what counts. What I learn. How I stay humble & evolve. That is what determines my character. My self-worth. Through the fire, I discover who I really am.
I trust in my greater She to guide me.
I’m hopeful for the future.
Each day, a little better and brighter.
26 -
I’ve been doing okay. I’m content. Life isn’t chaotic and my days aren’t riddled with anxiety as much anymore. The meds are working!!! Yay.
I can taste, like really taste the texture & the flavor of my food. I find a joy in cooking nourishing meals. I’m grateful to have access to these.
I can smell, this is good and bad (lol). Right now, the air is bursting with a light floral scent, I think it’s rose? From my candle.
I can feel. I’ve felt irritation, I’ve felt contentment, I’ve felt anxious, I’ve felt like I’m moving too fast, I’ve felt shame, I’ve felt embarrassment, Ive felt angry, I’ve felt shock, I’ve felt doubt, I’ve felt nervousness - I’ve FELT EMOTIONS! And funnily enough, they aren’t as scary anymore. They are just signals.
I can see. Sometimes I’m still stuck in my head and so disconnected from what’s around me but I can bring myself back to present. I can ground. I can take in a beautiful sunset and let it warm me to the core.
Sleep is well….it’s still elusive. Tossing and turning and anxious dreams. Waking up startled. Oh what I would give for 8 hours and to feel rested.
I’ve been struggling to write. The words just ping pong around in my brain and I can’t hold on long enough to get them down.
It’s getting easier to think through my responses instead of reacting (yes hello I am enlightened!!!!). I feel grounded these days.
I am unapologetically me. Lately I’ve found a renewed sense of purpose - I’m thinking of the bigger picture of my life.
I’m building my dream life, one that feels good, and I believe, no I know, that it will come true for me.
This peace and self-certainty is everything to me. Maybe it’s selfish. Eh
I recently shared in a meeting that I can’t remember why I ever drank or used in the first place. Perhaps my pain and shame were so great - I didn’t know how to work through them. I didn’t know how to hold them and live. I thought they were a part of me I had to “fix” to be worth anything. I let them define me. For so long. I feel sorry for that little girl. She was confused and chasing all the wrong things - things that maybe looked “good” on the outside, but were full of emptiness on the inside. I wish I could tell her that it gets better, I promise.
I told my mom recently about a decision that I knew she wouldn’t approve of. I was sooo nervous to tell her, like I wrestled with it for days. Didn’t want her to think I was stupid or foolish or impulsive. (lol hi mommy issues)
And then I just had to do it. Did it without apology or justifying - just a confident “this is what I am doing, it’s my life, and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me as a result”. Holy fuck, it was so empowering. And my mom took it. Sure she had her little mom things to say and her sniffs and tone….but I let it roll off me. Fuck it!! Man it was so good. Like drugs ;)
I forgive myself. For all of it. I know I was doing the best I could, with what I knew. It doesn’t make me a bad person — it makes me a human being.
I wasn’t always the best me (and still not 100% of the time) but I didn’t give up. I held on to a sliver of hope and kept trying to be better.
I’m happy with myself today.
There is a greater She within me (the spirit) and I am trusting in Her plan for me.
Bianca Sparacino - @ rainbowsalt
28 -
Well, I feel like shit. Or rather, I feel really apathetic and hopeless and frustrated.
My close friend (my maid of honor) told me she doesn’t want to be part of the wedding or attend it. She’s ghosted me since the “ rock bottom weekend that I can’t talk about”. I’ve tried to open up the door for conversation so she can share with me how she felt and she can be heard, but she hasn’t let it budge an inch. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised - not everyone is entitled to forgive. People can say “that’s your shit, I see it & am proud of you for owning it but I want no part”. I have to respect others where they are at.
I guess I hate that she feels badly (or whatever she feels because truly she hasn’t told me) and that I had a hand in it. Frustrated that I can’t fix it. Guilt that she doesn’t feel comfortable enough in our relationship to have a conversation about it. Hurt that she doesn’t think having a conversation is worth it. I hate that she cared about me - that she put time, effort, and money into planning a weekend for me - and me/the situation made her regret it.
And also I feel irritated and angry that she doesn’t want to talk to me. I like to think I’m a pretty understanding person. What the fuck? Why are people so quick to write someone off and not even let them know the why.
Sounding like a true woe-is-me addict here when I say that but hey, this is my safe space for honesty.
So trying to process that. While still trying to remember to eat, drink water, sleep, not isolate. The LAST fucking thing I want to do right now is go to a meeting. But I’m going and I told a few people so they’d hold my ass accountable.
I’m struggling to remember the basics lately and it’s making me feel pessimistic.
Also, I fell asleep on my arm in a weird position and now it hurts.
I feel tempted to erase any record of me and just start over. But then I feel a sense of “but what if it turns out that no one actually cares?”.
Everyone is about as wrapped up in their head as I am. No one does care. It’s a good thing actually, takes away the spotlight effect. But it’s a bad thing, because it feels like I don’t matter. And if I don’t matter, then what’s the fucking point?
Some positivity in an effort to convince the rude voice in my head that the world isn’t ending, people don’t always leave, I’m a good person even if I don’t get it right every time, that there is a greater point and purpose to it all, that I will find self-assurance and happiness:
Still sober! Day 64.
I did opposite action today from DBT. Instead of isolating and avoiding, I shared my feelings. Now I’m going to this meeting I don’t want to go to.
I checked in with my body: took a shower, drank some water, ate some food (read: NOT candy lol)
My mom said she sees me as my own person now and respects that I make my own choices. That she’s proud of me.
Even though I have one friend who isn’t a fan of me, I have at least 5 other ones who are rooting for me.
My dog loves me and still follows me around even though I got really mad at her and made her feel bad.
I have a roof over my head and food in the fridge. I have enough clothes that I can choose my outfit for the day. I have socks.
Ok so vanity - my acne is pretty much gone & my skin looks great!! The pigmentation is fading.
I’m employable.
We got a beautiful apartment with floor to ceiling windows. I’m moving to a city I have always dreamed of moving to.
I get the opportunity to start over.
I’ve gained some weight and my body isn’t a skeleton any more. I don’t get vertigo every time I stand up.
I can talk myself through a craving until it passes.
I am self-aware. I am kind. I am trying to be a better person every single day. It could be worse right?
Well. That’s where I’m at. Hopefully it gets better.
Each day a little better and brighter except I really don’t feel that shit today and I’m just saying it because I have some hope it’ll work.
33 -
I don’t regret it. I took them and I did have a fun little buzzy afternoon. I took them because I had to make a decision otherwise it would have weighed heavily on my mind. But I knew that this was how it was going to play out, even before getting them. Like I said, I made plans instead of taking precautions.
I’m so indecisive because I think very deeply about outcomes, that often I make a big decision impulsively and just live with the consequences. In a way, I’m afraid to commit.
The difference from the past, is that I was aware and consciously made this choice.
To be honest - I wanted more in the moment. It wasn’t enough. I wanted to go higher, summit the peak. To dance on the line between life and not life. The exhilaration of standing at the precipice. But that’s the thing right? It’s never enough. It will never be enough.
I woke up the next morning & had no desire to do that again.
I’m still sober from alcohol and other drugs. I don’t count it as a relapse. Some might say otherwise, but this is MY recovery. Real, raw and authentic. No hiding here. I own my decision. I am still committed to the bigger picture.
I’m not sure it was worth it. I guess I knew deep down it wouldn’t be, but I still had to do it to prove it. I couldn’t let it go (it would be a waste!). Unfortunately, I am the learn-by-experience type. And sometimes, a few experiences before it really sinks in (lol).
And so we continue on, same as before.
I have more to live for these days. I enjoy my life and I feel excited at what’s to come. I love the people I have, fiercely and selflessly. I have faith in something greater than me. Most importantly, I have faith in myself. I know I have changed. I know I will continue to change. I have humility and an open mind. Those parts of me that were a collection of tiny fragments…well, they aren’t so broken anymore.
Drugs and alcohol will not bring me the validation I seek. They will not give me purpose or increase my value. I know that. I am not that version of myself any longer.
Each day, a little better and brighter.
E. Russell
