Low Self Image - Tumblr Posts
fatima aamer bilal, from i am the menace in my head.
[text id: they say you set the bar too high, i know, i am the who’s climbing it.]
fatima aamer bilal, from i would leave me too if i could.
[text id: i am nothing, but catastrophe riding on the wind.”
I used to make self deprecating jokes aaaall the time. Probably didn't help my depression at the time. A friend of mine tried to get me to stop and I told her I couldn't because it was a coping mechanism.
I'm in a better headspace and now? I don't make those jokes anymore. I can't say for sure if jokes like that directly worsened my depression, but they sure do reinforce some unhealthy thinking patterns on a daily basis, that's for sure.
I know sometimes it's culturally-enforced or even ingrained in us by how we grew up that accepting a compliment is conceited, but it's not really. If someone tells you something nice, they're not just saying it because they like the sound of their own voice, people have to genuinely notice something about you that sticks out that they like, whether it's a mannerism or your the color of your hair or even just the shirt you wore that day. They noticed something about you that they appreciate, and chances are you give people compliments for the same reason. You wouldn't feel angry if someone else accepted your compliment, would you? No! So start accepting other people's compliments and start giving them to yourself more often.
It might feel awkward and weird at first, but believe me it will get easier with time.
what good does it do you to be self-deprecating? to deny compliments? what benefits does it give you? does it bring you joy to think so low of yourself? is it satisfying? is it fun?
and if you think “well it’s because it’s true” that you’re somehow “bad” or “unworthy”, well what’s the point of being self-deprecating? you are the only person who thinks of you like that, and for what purpose? when everyone is telling you that you’re funny and cute, how can you honestly believe you’re not? (and if there are people telling you that you’re bad or unworthy, why do you add to their insults with your own? why hate yourself, especially when others already do?)
especially when it brings you down. you can’t tell me that being self-deprecating brings you joy. if you insult yourself, you aren’t gonna feel good or any better.
if you compliment yourself tho? on a regular basis? if you accept others’ compliments? self-esteem through the fucking roof
Erotomania is wierd thing. I don't want to like people, I expect to be liked
Thank you for what you said. Really. I have so much fucking confidence in myself now. "You've reached this far only to still be dumb as fuck" is what you told me. I've never done this before?!! It is NORMAL to make mistakes god dammit. Your fucking supportive comments is the last thing I need right now.
She's not to be blamed for your incompetence. Just admit it, you fucking suck. Stop being a dramatic bitch. And control your fucking anger. You're so childish. I can't stand you.