Soft Reminders - Tumblr Posts
Something we tend to forget is that recovering from a mental illness is a full time job. You are constantly working internally and externally to fight off this thing and try to distinguish yourself from the skewed thoughts. So if you start to feel guilty for “being lazy”, or not feeling like you’re accomplishing anything, please remember that you are.Every single minute of the day that you’re working at recovery, you are in the midst of doing one of the greatest possible things you can do for yourself.
You’re allowed to eat. You’re allowed to be lazy. You’re allowed to take breaks. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to take care of yourself. You’re allowed to live for yourself.
You deserve a partner who checks whether you’re comfortable. You deserve a partner who will respect your boundaries. You deserve a partner who will be cautious if you do not know what your boundaries are.
everyone putting in the work in therapy even if you feel uncomfortable, weak, embarrassed... proud of you. so proud.
Friendly reminder: when people say ‘as long as you tried your best’ it doesn’t mean ‘the best you could possibly have done ever’ it means ‘the best you were capable of at the time.’ Sometimes ‘trying your best’ is just getting out of bed in the morning. Just because you weren’t working yourself to the bone doesn’t mean you weren’t trying your best.
You don’t help a plant grow by berating it for not being big enough yet or comparing it to other plants that have grown faster - you help it grow by giving it the water and soil and fertiliser and space and sunlight it needs to give it the best chance of flourishing. And if it needs it, you give it something to lean against to help it grow tall if it’s struggling to stand up by itself.
That’s how you should treat yourself - give yourself the tools and care you need to flourish, and don’t be afraid to lean on other things for support if you need to. It’s easier to flourish that way 🌸
To everyone who's gone through trauma and hard times and made it through, you kick royal ass. If you're still a kind person despite it all, you are my hero and I'm proud of you.
“the trauma made you kind” fuck that. no. i am kind because i cannot allow anyone to go through what i did. i am soft because i chose to be.
Yo if you’re a boy with mental illness, a boy with disabilities, a boy who is/was an abuse victim, a boy who has an ED, a boy with trauma, I need you to know that you are not a burden, that you don’t need to “harden up”, that you are very brave, and that you shouldn’t just have to “get over it”.
an author i love just tweeted about how “big joy and small joy are the same” and how she was just as content the other night eating chocolate and cuddling her dog as she was on her Big Trip to new york and honestly. i think that’s it. this morning i was listening to an audiobook while baking shortbread in my joggers and i realised i really didn’t care what Big Things happened in my future as long as i could keep baking and reading at the weekend and maybe that is the kind of bar we have to set to guard ourselves against disappointment. just appreciate and cherish the mundane stuff and see everything else as a bonus.
you deserve to celebrate your victories, no matter how small they are
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but please let your self cry and feel and hurt. let the pain leave your body. the longer it stays there, the more it will hurt you.
people talk all the time about “primal instincts” and it’s usually about violence or sexual temptations or something, but your humanity comes with a lot of different stuff that we do without really thinking about, that we do without being told to or prompted to
your average human comes pre-installed with instincts to:
Befriend
Tell story
Make Thing
Investigate
Share knowledge
Laugh
Sing
Dance
Empathize with
Create
we are chalk full of survival instincts that revolve around connecting to others (dog-shaped others, robot-shaped, sometimes even plant-shaped) and making things with our hands
your primal instincts are not bathed in blood- they are layered in people telling stories to each other around a fire over and over and putting devices together through trial and error over and over and reaching for someone and something every moment of the way
“you did great today and deserve to be told that, you did your best (even if you don’t think it was much) and i am for sure proud of you”
— Unknown
Friendly reminder for lgbtq+ ppl
❤️ It’s okay if you thought you were bi and find out you’re actually straight or gay. That doesn’t validate the people who told you that bi isn’t real or to “pick a side”
🧡 It’s okay if you thought you were pan but find out you’re actually bi or straight or gay
💛 It’s okay if you thought you were gay but find out you’re actually bi
💚 It’s okay to switch to new pronouns
💙 It’s okay to switch back to your old pronouns. That doesn’t validate the people who told you your new pronouns aren’t valid/real or “it’s just a phase,” that doesn’t make them in the right.
💜 It’s okay if you thought you were aro or ace and find out you’re not. That doesn’t validate the people who told you that you’re not ace/aro or that ace/aro isn’t valid/real or “you just haven’t found the right person yet,” that doesn’t make them in the right.
💗 It’s okay to be unsure/questioning or to change the way you label yourself. It’s not right for someone to invalidate your feelings. Even if they accurately predict that you’ll change your mind, that doesn’t mean that what they did is right.
I don't know who needs to hear this but,
It's okay to say no
It's okay to set boundaries
It's okay to be mad at someone
It's okay to tell someone they crossed a line
It's okay to change your mind
It's okay to back out of something, yes even if it's something you initiated/started
It's okay to want space
It's okay to go back on a promise if it compromises your safety, mental health, etc.
It's okay to cut people out of your life for the same reasons
It's okay to not talk to people for the same reasons
It's okay to have limits
It's okay to say no
“Just because you can feel another person’s emotions doesn’t make you responsible for them.”
— Sarah Brooke
You do not owe anybody your body, regardless of:
What your partner says
What you wanted to do earlier
What anybody has told you
What society or any expectations have led you to believe
You can back out, even if you're in the middle of something. You can change your mind. You can say no any time. You can set any boundaries you want, and you do not owe it to your partner to justify or explain these boundaries.
Saying "no" can feel scary to some people, especially to 'people pleasers' and especially in sexual situations. I know this. I know it can be scary and it can be difficult, but "no" is such an important and powerful tool to set boundaries and maintain your comfort level.
The discomfort and trauma that can result from having a boundary crossed is absolutely not worth doing something you do not want to do, especially on behalf of your partner. If they think it's worth it then they are not a good partner.
Any good sexual partner who cares about you would not want you to stay silent and do something you don't want to do, especially not on their behalf. If you don't like what's happening, don't be afraid to say something.
If they throw a fit and take it personally, then they have some growing to do. You have every right to say no at any point.
