Sister Speaks - Tumblr Posts

Every generation just gets worse and worse

at judging people for being different

To add onto this, I recommend people who are afraid of hate coming in their inboxes disable anonymous asks to make it easier to block and report hate accounts.

I submit my blog as an option for anyone who wants to talk. If you wanna vent or ask for support, PLEASE don't hesitate to message me.

Remember this when you're having a hard time: Take care of each other, Take care of yourself and take care of the state of your mental health

You are a human being and you don't deserve to be threatened or put down, no matter your gender or sexuality or identity or culture or religion or skin color or anything. You are not a burden. You are always worthy of love and support. 💗

This is important, please read and spread the word but most importantly stay safe:

so i’m sure many of you have heard of the thing called “Pridefall” that is being planned to happen on june 1st (beginning of pride month)

from what i’ve gathered, it’s a planned mass-attack on all openly LGBT+-friendly accounts and blogs across nearly all social media platforms, including tumblr. i don’t know exactly what the attacks will be, but i’ve heard that it will be general hate, slurs, death threats, suicide encouragement, porn/sexual threats, and other such disgusting things.

queer people and allies who wish to remain as lowkey and unhit as possible are highly encouraged to remove pronouns from their bios, remove flags and identities from blog themes/accounts/profile pictures/backgrounds, turn off DMs, close inboxes, and generally stay away from social media.

for those of you (like me) who will remain throughout this: report any hate blog/account you see for hate speech violations, harm to minors (if applicable), and any other thing you believe fits. block them, delete their comments/reblogs, and drown them out with pride and support. if you get anon hate, block the anon and delete the ask. do not give them a place or a voice on your blog, again drown them out with pride and support. it is okay if you have to leave to keep yourself safe, but if you DO stay active, stay as safe as possible.

i will remain as active as i can throughout this, keeping both my inbox and my DMs open so you all can continue to come to me for support and love. as a fairly popular, well-known blog that openly supports and is part of the lgbt+ community, i know i will not fly under the radar. i will continue to spread love, acceptance, and positivity while simultaneously reporting and blocking anyone who sends hate or comments hate or reblogs with hate. i will also be around for you peeps to come to me and my blog for love and support during this. hopefully it will die down soon as we smother the hate in pride, but i know that many of you will be hit with the hate. it is okay to reach out for help/love/support/assistance; it is okay to take a break from social media until it is safe; it is okay to block people on sight without second-thinking; it is okay to take down lgbt+ things from your blog to stay safe.

here is another post talking about it

here is another post talking about it

and another

and another

and another

and another informative post

remember i love you all and i WILL remain open and active during this.

I used to make self deprecating jokes aaaall the time. Probably didn't help my depression at the time. A friend of mine tried to get me to stop and I told her I couldn't because it was a coping mechanism.

I'm in a better headspace and now? I don't make those jokes anymore. I can't say for sure if jokes like that directly worsened my depression, but they sure do reinforce some unhealthy thinking patterns on a daily basis, that's for sure.

I know sometimes it's culturally-enforced or even ingrained in us by how we grew up that accepting a compliment is conceited, but it's not really. If someone tells you something nice, they're not just saying it because they like the sound of their own voice, people have to genuinely notice something about you that sticks out that they like, whether it's a mannerism or your the color of your hair or even just the shirt you wore that day. They noticed something about you that they appreciate, and chances are you give people compliments for the same reason. You wouldn't feel angry if someone else accepted your compliment, would you? No! So start accepting other people's compliments and start giving them to yourself more often.

It might feel awkward and weird at first, but believe me it will get easier with time.

what good does it do you to be self-deprecating? to deny compliments? what benefits does it give you? does it bring you joy to think so low of yourself? is it satisfying? is it fun?

and if you think “well it’s because it’s true” that you’re somehow “bad” or “unworthy”, well what’s the point of being self-deprecating? you are the only person who thinks of you like that, and for what purpose? when everyone is telling you that you’re funny and cute, how can you honestly believe you’re not? (and if there are people telling you that you’re bad or unworthy, why do you add to their insults with your own? why hate yourself, especially when others already do?)

especially when it brings you down. you can’t tell me that being self-deprecating brings you joy. if you insult yourself, you aren’t gonna feel good or any better.

if you compliment yourself tho? on a regular basis? if you accept others’ compliments? self-esteem through the fucking roof

To everyone who's gone through trauma and hard times and made it through, you kick royal ass. If you're still a kind person despite it all, you are my hero and I'm proud of you.

“the trauma made you kind” fuck that. no. i am kind because i cannot allow anyone to go through what i did. i am soft because i chose to be.

I can't remember for sure where I heard this, if my therapist told me this or if a Tumblr post did, but I'm gonna pass it along to you guys.

There's this really stupid trick I know for people who worry a lot (I've tried it myself and it weirdly works) Schedule. Your. Worrying. It's worked for me in the past and it's worth a try.

It's so hard when people say "don't worry! :)" because things can just be so scary that you don't know how to not worry. So instead of telling yourself "stop worrying" try "worry later."

I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out. If you schedule out your day, set some time aside, maybe 10, 20 minutes, at some point to just worry; rock on your heels and pace and stew and twiddle your thumbs. Get it all out. Preferably sometime later in the day.

What this does is when you start to panic or worry about things you can't change or control you can stop yourself and say "yeah I'm gonna worry about it... but not for another 2 hours and 28 minutes. I can think of all the horrible things that can go wrong from 7:40 to 8:00pm tonight."

It may sound dumb, but for those of you out there who spend a lot of time panicking and focusing on what makes you anxious, I highly recommend it.

Yup, I see this a lot as well when a celebrity or large figure gets dragged for good reason but then bullied for unrelated things that may apply to people who've done nothing wrong.

I've seen it so many times. Someone takes the heat for some dumb shit they've done and then, all encompassed in the energy of the angry mob, people start just insulting them for random unrelated shit like their hair, their face, their weight, their makeup, etc. I can only imagine how many people would see comments like that and start taking those insults to heart.

Being critical isn't a bad thing necessarily, to yourself or to others. Being critical helps us grow and improve. Being critical helps us keep ourselves and others accountable for our actions. You have to watch what you choose to pick on yourself/others for though.

Remember: If you wouldn't say it to a friend going through the same thing as you, then don't say it to yourself!

thinking about how fiona's bit in the first shrek movie about how ogres are so ugly and unlovable, which is overheard by shrek, is the perfect example of how self-deprecation can really harm not only the people around you who love and care for you, but also people who share the same characteristics that you are mocking in yourself

This is soooo important.

I know it can be scary to set boundaries and say no. I know it can be awkward to tell someone they're making you upset or uncomfortable. Believe me, I know how hard that can be, especially for people-pleasers and people who fear rejection.

Trust me when I say the relief from being honest and open will long outweigh the awkwardness of having to say it.

Trust me when I say that any bad feelings that may come from being upfront are WAY better than just suffering in silence and then inevitably blowing up.

People often confuse being assertive for being rude, but it's NOT MEAN. Just think of how upset you'd be if you were unknowingly hurting or upsetting someone you cared about..

TL;DR Stop gossiping. Stop being passive aggressive. Be upfront, say no when you mean no,, set boundaries, tell someone if they've upset you. I PROMISE it will prove the quality of your relationships.

actually you either need to set clear boundaries with people or not get mad when people “overstep” something that doesnt even exist to them. its stupid as hell to assume everyone owns the standardized handbook of social interaction and get mad when someone may do something you dont like without even realizing it. its even worse when people act like its a toxic relationship when the literal only problem is no established boundaries lmfao

💕 Reblog with 3 things you're thankful for today

I'll start: I'm grateful for my dog, my watercolor supplies, and my electric blanket

You do not owe anybody your body, regardless of:

What your partner says

What you wanted to do earlier

What anybody has told you

What society or any expectations have led you to believe

You can back out, even if you're in the middle of something. You can change your mind. You can say no any time. You can set any boundaries you want, and you do not owe it to your partner to justify or explain these boundaries.

Saying "no" can feel scary to some people, especially to 'people pleasers' and especially in sexual situations. I know this. I know it can be scary and it can be difficult, but "no" is such an important and powerful tool to set boundaries and maintain your comfort level.

The discomfort and trauma that can result from having a boundary crossed is absolutely not worth doing something you do not want to do, especially on behalf of your partner. If they think it's worth it then they are not a good partner.

Any good sexual partner who cares about you would not want you to stay silent and do something you don't want to do, especially not on their behalf. If you don't like what's happening, don't be afraid to say something.

If they throw a fit and take it personally, then they have some growing to do. You have every right to say no at any point.

You are strong. You are a bad bitch. You have the power of the world at your fingertips. You will treat yourself with compassion because it's what you deserve.

I used to hold myself up even for listening to non-pop music. It's such a strange phenomenon that we've created that to like what is mainstream means you fit in but also means you're not Unique TM in any way

i think people forget that its ok to like some bad music. everyone likes bad music. and not all shallow music is bad. yeah sure maybe this song about partying is just about partying but so what. people at parties probably want good party songs. like if your top song on spotify is one of the latest pop hits theres literally nothing wrong with that. its messed up that people get all high and mighty about listening to weevil and the heebiejeebies or whatever while shitting on some other person for liking mainstream artists.

Affirmations for trauma/difficult past

I have been through hell and back

I am alive and that's a damn good start

My past affects me heavily, but it does not define me

I am compassionate

I am patient

I am kind to myself, even when I don't meet my own expectations

I would never judge somebody for asking for help, because I know what it's like to be helpless

I would never judge myself for asking for help

Support from others helps me to grow and heal

I am strong for seeking support instead of suffering in silence

I am honest and I am smart

I know my own limitations and I can set boundaries for myself

I can tell people "no" when things are getting to be too much for me

I don't owe people my time or my compliance

I follow the road to recovery, even when it's difficult

I follow the road to recovery even when it's uncomfortable

I keep my head up when I walk, because I am strong

I am safe

I love who I am becoming

I love myself in this present moment

I remember some motivational speaker I watched said something to the tune of "If you feel like quitting, remember what you started for."

And I thought about it a bit, and I think that's good for deciding if you should quit, even if that's not what the dude intended originally.

When you feel like giving up, think back to why you started.

If the reason you started something still aligns with your values today, if the end goal is healthy and would make you happy and fulfilled, don't give up. Take breaks if you need them, but don't throw it all away. Remember that you get better at what you practice, and pushing through difficult patches in a goal or a project will only make you better at pushing through difficult patches.

If the reason you started something no longer aligns with your values today, if the end goal isn't healthy and wouldn't make you happy, if the outcome is not worth the time and effort, then quit. Pursue something else that would make you more fulfilled.

I'm... kinda shocked at how many people are agreeing with this post so easily. It reminds me of the person with with post talking about how they felt a lot better because Tumblr would reassure them of stuff like "it's ok if you didnt brush your teeth today! ❤" without saying "but do it now, don't keep skipping out on it!" and they wound up with a big fat dental bill because they were comforted for making mistakes but not pushed to improve afterwards.

It's a difficult balancing act between pushing yourself to improve and still being forgiving and kind to yourself and taking breaks when you need them, but it's balancing act we must always perform in order to keep growing and creating without overdoing mental stress.

PREACH!

Today, I will not let the actions and feelings of others affect my internal peace.

Today, I will keep my internal peace in mind when I talk to others.

Today, I will say and do things that care for my mental health.

Today, I will take care of myself.

Friendly reminder for lgbtq+ ppl

❤️ It’s okay if you thought you were bi and find out you’re actually straight or gay. That doesn’t validate the people who told you that bi isn’t real or to “pick a side”

🧡 It’s okay if you thought you were pan but find out you’re actually bi or straight or gay

💛 It’s okay if you thought you were gay but find out you’re actually bi

💚 It’s okay to switch to new pronouns

💙 It’s okay to switch back to your old pronouns. That doesn’t validate the people who told you your new pronouns aren’t valid/real or “it’s just a phase,” that doesn’t make them in the right.

💜 It’s okay if you thought you were aro or ace and find out you’re not. That doesn’t validate the people who told you that you’re not ace/aro or that ace/aro isn’t valid/real or “you just haven’t found the right person yet,” that doesn’t make them in the right.

💗 It’s okay to be unsure/questioning or to change the way you label yourself. It’s not right for someone to invalidate your feelings. Even if they accurately predict that you’ll change your mind, that doesn’t mean that what they did is right.

Reblog with 3 things you're grateful for today 💗

I'll start: I'm grateful for therapy, dogs, and blue skies

Relax your shoulders

Today, treat yourself the way you treat a friend

Take a deep, belly breath

Everything's going to be okay

What are 3 things you're grateful for today?

I am grateful for art, for the sun, and for schedulebooks

What are 3 things you're grateful for right now?

I'll start: I'm grateful for m&ms, sheets of rain, and the internet ^-^