We Have A Kind Of Similar Issue, From What Ive Heard From Other Alters That Is.

We have a kind of similar issue, from what I’ve heard from other alters that is.

We’re mostly doing a “we know we have this disorder, but we know that we won’t check literally every box because human brains are complex and shit like that” so our hosts do research on their own about DID as a whole, get a bit dissociated, or even start fake claiming themselves because of the fact that we don’t check every box.

So, over here anyway, we’re doing two things: just living with it and not worrying about it too much (and attempting to hide it from others because we’re currently not in a safe physical environment for systems), and we’re also doing our own research in our own system specifically. Like, writing down things we notice.

For example, we have something we call “voice glitches.” It’s always a little stutter where you accidentally say two words at once, or repeat yourself like a normal stutter, even if you don’t have one. It’s always a sign that we need to pause and think for a second before continuing to speak, or that a huge wave of dissociation/rapid switching might come if you’re in the front.

Another thing is how we all share dreams. Whole system has the same dream.

Or how they’re just a little tv where we can watch imaginary shit.

So many interesting things that we’ve noticed and written down and doesn’t cause us dissociation. However, it’s also stuff our hosts have been scared to share due to fearing being fakeclaimed and people just… not relating to our experiences. (Also seen so much about system in-fighting that none of us relate to at all because we have alters whose job is to be a mediator and help with conflict, so hosts keep fake claiming themselves because of that too funnily enough :/ )

But yeah. That’s just my two cents :)

-🎭

Something minorly infuriating is the fact that im pretty sure im still not supposed to “know” about DID.

I’ve known for years about our DID, and ive done a ton of reasearch and looked into so many different things, and interacted in/been around so many different system spaces.

But every single time, without fail, even years later, if i spend a bit too much time reading about/hearing about/thinking about/etc. etc. DID, i get super disassociated and get a massive headache, and i have amnesia surrounding those moments a lot. I dont know if its another alter, or what, it doesnt feel like it.

But that gets super annoying because we have this disorder, and its so much of who we are, who i am that this happens so much, because this disorder affects every part of our life. But spending to much time even thinking about it dissociates us and gives us a massive fucking headache for hours.

Its like even though i know about our DID, im not supposed to know about it, yk? And that gets super annoying. Because its most of who i am.

anyways its really kicking our ass tonight because reasons, so i just wanted to yell about that. Let me know if you have any advice/relate at all/vnf

-host

"my brain said"

Translation: an alter said something funny that I must share with you

Right, considering the current state of corporate politics on this site, and that it seems that only those affected seem to be actively speaking on the matter, it is up to I, the only fucking cishet on tumblr, to drag this out to a wider audience.

REBLOG IF YOUR ACCOUNT IS A TRANSFEM SAFE SPACE.

We need to show these higher ups how much we truly value them.

💙 Rhack Stimboard for anon 💙

Credits in Captions

I’m dying. Jack (🎭) drew this. It’s a portrait of himself. He drew his arms like that. On purpose. Because the artists in this system hate hose-style arms and drawing them.

Dude was a megalomaniac/dictator/sociopath in source and has graduated to the silliest of goofs. Blue did the coloring btw.

And our family (who is unaware we are a system) watch us draw this and Blue just says “I was possessed” while Jack cackles in the background.

Rhys why are you dating this man???? /j

-🔦