I've Got Brain Worms For Googleplier. Head Canons For What Living With Him Would Be Like Please And Thank

I've got brain worms for Googleplier. Head canons for what living with him would be like please and thank you? Would he be trying to kill me every second? Break my chinaware?

A/n: Haven't posted actual content in a while sorry about that, kinda lost motivation for a while but I'm back!

Genre: Headcannons, Fluff, Crack

Living with this man is…an experience to say the least

When he first started adjusting to living with you it seemed as though your very presences was enough to piss him off 

He wanted nothing to do with you whatsoever, asking him to do the bare minimum would provoke a groan and eye roll before he gets up to only completely butcher whatever you had requested of him

Ask him for a glass of water? Drops it right in front of you

Ask him if he could help with the dishes? Breaks ten plates within the ten seconds he came over to ‘help’ you

Literally ask him to help with anything and he will destroy it in the most passive aggressive manner possible 

After a while of spending time around you however he found himself beginning to enjoy your company to an extent 

Though he wouldn’t ever actually tell you this

You did notice however that he wouldn’t let out as many exaggerated sighs or groans when you’d ask him for the weather for the day, or if he would help you out with something

Which was very much appreciated when he didn’t drop your groceries harshly to the ground as soon as he stepped inside your house

Write anything around you and he’ll occasionally peak over to see what your doing, if he sees any sort of spelling mistakes he’ll be prompt to snatch your laptop and correct any sort of mistakes he sees 

God forbid you don’t use correct grammar and spelling in texts because I wish i was kidding when I say he will block you 

If he feels nice he’ll occasionally cook for you, he’s pretty good considering he can download any sort of cooking program 

Cleaning is a big no always, he won’t ever do it, you can’t and will not get him to do it 

Occasionally just to be an asshole he’ll hide things in your kitchen from you and if you ask him about a certain objects disappearance he’ll simply object to knowing anything about it in the first place

“Hey, Google, have you seen the butter anywhere??” 

“I have not, perhaps you forgot to by some, I will add ‘butter’ to your shopping list” 

He knows what he's doing, and he’s enjoying every second of your confusion 

If you ever get him any sort of present during the holidays or anything like that he’ll genuinely be so confused

“I don’t understand the purpose of this”

“It’s a hat? You know for like when it gets cold out?” 

“I know what a hat is, that’s not what I meant”

He’ll be somewhat appreciative of it, considering he didn’t even expect you to get him anything

Though he’ll show his gratitude in different ways, such as checking up on you, reminding you to take care of yourself like showering, eating, getting enough sleep, etc

A/n: Sorry if this isn't my best work I'm trying to get back to writing again

thank you trans women

we need more women. 3,822,561,000 isn't enough.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!! :D

THANK YOU <3

Spree headcannons

A/n: So I saw Spree this weekend and I love this pathetic man so heres something for all the Spree fans out there

Kurt Kunkle x gn Reader

When you first start dating him he’s incredibly awkward 

Whenever you try to hold his hand or hug him he just goes completely stiff 

He likes to pretend he knows how relationships work and act confident around 

Though that fails as soon as you lay a finger on him, show him any sort of physical affection he turns into a sputtering mess 

He’s not confident enough to initiate any sort of affection with you so you’ll have to be the one who gives most of the affection 

That is until he’s comfortable enough to, which will take awhile 

But once he is confident enough, he will become so clingy 24/7 

He’s really sweaty though, so cuddling with him might get a slight bit uncomfortable 

Takes you on late night drives while blasting whatever music you want to listen too

Driving at 2am for junk food is a common occurrence with Kurt

Or he’ll let you sleep in while he sneaks off to the gas station and return with a mountain of chips and candy in his arms 

Loves to watch movies with you, it’s a lame excuse to be close to you but he’ll take it 

He tries to flirt but he ends up getting really awkward and just backs out of whatever he was trying to do

“Are you an Angel?...Cause um”

“Kurt, are you okay?”

His face gets so red from embarrassment, especially if you flirt back with him he has no idea how to respond

My guy loves to cup your face randomly and press soft kisses all over your face while he softly giggles to himself 

Though he has no idea how, he loves to roller skate with you even though he ends up with his face slammed into the pavement 

It’s worth it if he manages to make you laugh 

He loves to have you on his live streams, while his chat spams ‘simp’ 

While he games he likes to have you sit on his lap 

Though it might not be as comfortable when he rages and throws his controller on the ground 

He likes to have you wear his hoodies, he melts when he sees you waddling around in them it brings a smile to his face knowing that you love him enough to wear his clothes 

Medicine

A/n: Wanted to torture Danny so I did. You know, as a treat

Tw: Knifes, Blood, Injury's, Violence, Gore, Cursing

Gn Reader

Danny groaned, as he stared into the navy blue of the dark sky. Feeling himself space out as the soft breeze kissed his face as it blew past him, a chill creeping down his spine as he glared into the void glimmers of light shining down taunting him, the stars had always left him feeling empty.

He looked up at these giants of light and suddenly felt so small, it left him feeling helpless. He hated it. Yet somehow when his thoughts drifted back to you, he felt a wave of relief, his muscles loosened as his chest grew tight. Why the hell was he thinking of you? You weren’t supposed to be anything to him. 

You were nothing. 

Then why did he hesitate? Why was his gloved hand shaking before your fearful eyes, gazing upon his shaking figure. Your ragged breath, guilting him, making him feel so filthy. This fear is what he thrived off of! Then why did he feel so helpless?

Running from him like he was some sort of animal. He hated the way you looked at him. Your pretty eyes filled with horror when he came into view.

Why couldn’t you look at him with kinder eyes? No, what the hell was he talking about. He shook himself from these uncharacteristically mushy thoughts.

Since when did Danny Johnson have time to be existential? Not enough time if you asked him. He still needed to get you and that asshole Jake if he wanted to win this round. He wasn’t really looking to be punished by the Entity again this week. 

Danny crouched back down surveying the surrounding area carefully. He knew you were here somewhere. One of those brats from earlier had ratted you out to him hoping he’d spare them in return, fat chance. Didn’t really matter because this would finally be over.     

Danny was interrupted by the sound of rustic metal gears of a generator being finished and with that. The loud siren of the gates opening. Danny's head snapped around right as you and Jake sprinted from your hiding spot in the bushes nearby. 

The heavy thudding of footsteps gave your position. Danny's heart almost stopped when his eyes drifted to you and Jake's hands. That asshat had the fucking adacuity to hold your hand. Danny's gripp on his knife grew tighter and tighter until he could no longer feel his hand. His jaw clenched as his breath shifted to ragged and distorted breathing. 

His eyes held a storm of rage. Adrenaline filled his body as he felt his legs carrying him towards you two, almost as if he was on autopilot. 

As soon as Danny was close enough Danny plunges his knife into the brunette back causing him to let out a blood curdling scream as he fell to the ground with a sharp thud. But Danny was finished.

His mind was clouded with a fog of hatred. Danny snarled as Jake cried attempting to crawl away from the masked man. Danny watched the pathetic display. Almost like he was a cat playing with its prey. 

But not this time Danny was in no mood to taunt, he felt an animalistic charge fill him. As he plopped down onto Jake preventing him from crawling away.

Danny ripped the knife from Jake's back causing the man beneath him to whimper. His cries of pain were caught off as Danny plunged the knife into his back once more pushing it deeper into his back twisting it as a cracking sound echoed out, but it wasn’t enough. 

Danny kept pushing until there were no more screams, no more struggling, just gurgling as a crimson liquid began to pour from Jake's mouth as he stopped moving completely. Silence. 

Danny ripped the knife out as he pushed himself off the body beneath him. 

He looked up to see your horrified expression, your face pale, your lip quivered as you stared at the dead body of your friend. 

Danny glared at you, as he stomped over to you. Forcing you up, by roughly grabbing the collar of your shirt. It seemed something in you had snapped as you began to scream and kick against him. 

“Stop it.” he growled as you continued to scream and cry. Danny’s face twisted to one of frustration. Losing his patience he threw you to the ground, quickly he stomped down on your leg as hard as he could, stopping you from scampering away.

Danny grabbed a fist full of your hair dragging you from the exit. Your cries and pleas fell upon deaf ears. Danny tossed you over his shoulder making his way to a nearby hook, the sky twisted into a muggy gray. He threw you up onto the hook. 

“Why did it have to be him.” he asked though the question sounded more demanding than he intended. You looked him in the eyes once again the same fearful expression gracing your features, leaving a bitter feeling in Danny's stomach. 

“Why couldn’t you look at me like that.” Danny's voice barely over a whisper, not bothering to lift his head up, he could feel hot tears of frustration run down his cheeks. He knew the entity had come for you; there was nothing he could do but watch. There were no happy endings for monsters, and especially not for him.