Drewthelocalnerd - I Just Wanna Be Funny On The Internet - Tumblr Blog

Aliens finally show up but they’re super neighborly, always offering the equivalent to a cup of space sugar or something. We don’t really get it, we’re looking for anyway it could be a trap, but no, they’re just super nice and friendly. Even better is they are very clearly not humanoid and still super sweet, like friendly squid people

EDIT: check Good Neighbors on my blog

What do you mean I gotta interact with people first if I want them to like me on the internet? I just wanted to be funny on this hellsite

Losing my mind here, I just wanna go home, but I’m still stuck at work with *people* who don’t seem to get their the employee everyone hates

I’m really enjoying myself these days now that I’ve given up giving a fuck

Moving and grooving while playing a little magic

Replaying retro pokemon games is wild man. I’m playing Blue and Silver on my old gameboy color and this is the most fun I’ve had playing video games in months

*inner John Wick and Eren Yeager awakens*

Oh I know how imma save that dog, I gotta tap you out

My team as of right NOW, I freaking love this generation, all the Pokémon are small and round and adorable and I love them all, they’re basically plushies

It’s over Trainer! I have the high ground!

You underestimate my power!

Cuz I’m just so super nice I’m getting 3 copies of the new Pokémon games, 2 violets and a Scarlet. The violet copies are going to myself and my girlfriend’s sister, and my girlfriend is getting the Scarlet copy

So which copies are y’all getting? And what starter you gonna get?

I caught a Pokémon!

That’s not a Pokémon, that a green painted dog you trained to throw rocks

*squints and pulls out a machete and duct tape*

Gonna make it a digimon if you don’t shut the hell up

I like to keep everyone’s expectations of me low because every once in a while I’ll try my absolute hardest and disappoint them even more but by then they’re used to it

Just a gut feeling, I think there’s gonna be a lot more external screaming this holiday season, probably a decent amount of fistfights. So my question is, how does one make popcorn festive?

When it’s the festive time of the year and you can’t afford to buy the fam and friends gifts cuz your job is dependent on commissions and for some god forsaken reason everyone suddenly stopped being greedy pieces of shit just in time for the holidays

Watching Zedd and crew get wrecked in the new issues of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers be like

Watching Goldar run from putties was just a joy lol

I still hold that Lord Drakkon was the coolest, baddest villain in Power Rangers history. Whatever you think about the other villains, it took every Ranger EVER just to attempt to fight this guy. Also, look at this man’s suit, that’s just pure style right there god damn

I love Tommy Oliver, don’t get me wrong, but Drakkon is like next level badass

*hands back the tiny paper clip crossbow to my coworker*

If our boss sees me holding that I’m gonna get fired, I’m not allowed to have those since…the incident

God damn Disney channel I am a 26 year old man this should not have scared me this badly, I spent the night posted up in the corner of my room with a spear and a hot pocket cuz of this episode

“The shift will go by fast”

Oh the lies we tell ourselves

Rita’s glow up got me acting up god damn

Walking into work like “whoever’s in charge of me I’m so sorry” I say as partake of the free samples (it’s booze)

Ahhh I’m hitting that hour of no sleep where everything is just so amazingly funny, such as:

Drying paint

The wiggly door stopper thing

The friendly raccoon who stole my shoes last week is at my window again

Pins and needles in my foot

My own reflection

The idea that I have to go to work in 4 hours

Bumping into the door

Apologizing to aforementioned door

Fairly certain it said “pardon me” and tipped its jaunty hat

The decision to not go in to work cus obvi reasons lol

I found chips!

I think I need to go to bed lol

I talk a loooot of shit for a guy who cries when people raise their voices around him lol

It is floppy sleeves covering my hands weather and I am HERE for it